This is sad!.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A FRUSTRATED MAN
Hello Stella. May the Almighty God reward you for the good work you do through your blog. I learn a lot of things including recipes, home management and how to handle life issues through your blog.
This is why I decided to bring this issue that has been giving me sleepless nights and driving me insane.I believe other women like me will learn because I discovered we are many here. Hide my name pls.
I got married to a loving and caring man few years back, but as I type this, I am now a shadow of myself because of this same man. He is jobless and frustrated, bitter and angry and so decided to torment me with it.
Things took a bad turn for him financially and I now take care of most things in the house, this makes him to complain at everything I do, he nags and scolds me for hours, saying so many bad things to me that I won't amount to anything in lfe, that I will live in pain and regrets, etc, he also threatens he will take my child away and hurt me then he will leave me.
We have only one child together.
Stella, Before we got married, he was working as a cab driver, I was also working in a company but he was very loving and caring, he doesn't womanise up to this moment. I snoop and all, nothing, doesn't keep late nights, doesn't get drunk and the only snag is that he did not attend higher institution and did not learn any trade.
But I married him because he was hardworking and ambitious. My people warned me not to marry him as I'm from a poor background, they wanted me to marry a rich man but blinded by love, I let them know his good qualities and that I would remain unmarried if I don't marry him. They succumbed.
Now that things have gone bad, I can't tell even my mum anything. His car that he used for cab gone, he later worked as a driver sometime ago but was owed salaries, worked as a security guard too and so many other things including going to building sites to work. He has now changed to a different man. I no longer have peace, I now cry everyday.
Stella and bvs pls advise me on how to handle this.
Stella and bvs pls advise me on how to handle this.
if I leave him now, won't they say its because he doesn't have a job anymore?, I have tried talking to him but its not working. I want to report him to his people, is it ok?
How do I go about it pls? We have never reported each other to anyone before. Also, how do I handle him as I don't even know what to do. I'm a very peaceful person, I normally keep quiet when he starts to avoid it generating to beating for the first time.
Pls advise me on what to do.
Thanks.
Thanks.
He has started beating you?OMG!
Parents please endeavour to send your wards to school because this is the kind of frustration that awaits them in future....this is so sad but you cannot change what a man cannot change himself.
the country is so hard now even for people with several degrees
Fix it Jesus
ReplyDeleteI have read this before here. Stella he hasn't started beating her. She said she avoids provoking him so things won't degenerate to that extent. Pray for your man and try to be patient and extra loving. You have tried though. Many would have long fled the coop. There is nothing God cannot do.
DeleteThis chronicle has been posted before abi I no de see well?
ReplyDeleteI thought as much when I was reading it
DeleteOkay this is a Repeat... I am sure I have this
ReplyDeleteI am sorry but...I believe I've read this before! Stella, You don dey recycle chronicles???
DeletePlease what is hardworking and ambitious...what the freaking frack does that mean? ehn!
Stella, she did not say he has started beating her o! She said she just kpichikom when he starts nagging...
Madam, pls don't report to his family, they will take sides (his side) no matter how neutral they may seem. Do you have a Pastor or elderly couple that can advice you? The point? Meet a neutral and objective person to counsel you both. You'd have to wade through this one because there is nothing anyone can tell you asides 'Go for counselling' and 'talk to God' so...do both.
This is your storm. You'll need to buckle in for the ride. You took vows ba? Honour them but if it's life threatening, leave!
Take it to God in prayer...
#itsmytwokobo
Feel free to piss below
You've posted this before
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Repeated story
ReplyDeleteWe dealt this last week I think? I am still hungry, no strength.
ReplyDeleteKoman eat kponyor.
DeleteWe have advised this poster before.
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteStella this chronicle is an old, you have posted it here before.
ReplyDelete☺☺☺
LEP😛
We read this last week init?
ReplyDeleteI've read this before. Same story just narrated differently.
ReplyDeleteI don't think he beats her. She is saying she is peaceful when he has outbursts so he wouldn't start beating her.
Stella the alarmist. Why are you shouting OMG.. He hasnt started beating her. She only avoids talking so it doesn't generate to beating her for the first time is what she said..
ReplyDeleteMadam, honestly I don't know what to say. Maybe separate for a little while and figure yourself out and know what you want.??? Or keep avoiding his wahala.
Fab mum easy na, you and Stella deh fight?
DeleteWe have read this one before
ReplyDeleteStella you have pasted this chronicle here last week or so
ReplyDeleteYesterday newspaper, old (chronicle ) news
ReplyDeletePoster my only advice for you is to talk to your parents and his parents too! Don't die in silence, I believe his parents will scold him .
ReplyDeleteI don't know why some men like to transfer aggression on their women just because things aren't going well for them financially.
If he lays his hands on you again, take your child and go to your parents house. But, talk to them first so that they will know how to receive you back when the time comes.
I noticed something, it seems like women of today doesn't have "good" friends or they just get married and say goodbye to the friends they once had. Most times, in situations like this, friends will be there to support you in every way.
Talk to which parents? Poster no do o! They will add fire to the problem as both parties will be subjective in their thinking
DeleteMeet a neutral party to counsel you both. Preferably an elderly couple you both look up to or a Pastor.
Asides that DO NOT GO NEAR YOUR PARENTS (BOTH SIDES)
Whatever you tell them will taint their image of you and/or your husband
I have noticed that too, but men still keep to their friends. Women have thought that their friends will snatch their husband hence the distant.
DeleteMrs R, which friend? Same ones dt would 'yimu' and laugh behind ur back?
DeleteTalking to family is way much more better than "friends" in my opinion
Barracudianusaurusunamon - Hi, guys. It's me again. ( :
ReplyDeleteThis is indeed sad, and very bitter, the thing is when a man loses his position as the breadwinner of a family, it becomes a burden in his heart, even if his wife is supportive and the nicest woman on earth, we, men, we were programmed to have a fail-notification in our subconscious mind, so that when we fail at something, no matter how soft the failure is, it ends with depression, unnecessary anger, stress, high blood pressure, I could continue listing the bad eggs of losing the position of the head of a family to your wife whom you are to protect and fend for, thank goodness you are a woman with a heart.
Please, understand that, I am not validating his rights to beat you, I think it is very wrong, and amoral both in the sight of men and also your Christian God, I advise you talk to him nicely, talk to friends and family that could help him with a job, no matter how little, pray to your God, I hear he answers, I really am sad and unhappy, you must be going thru a lot right now, finally, if it persists, I mean the beating, then the marriage should be put on hold for the meantime, till he gets a hold of himself, Marriage is for better or for worse, but that is just a book-worthy preference, you don't need to allow him beat you blue-black and all the colors of the rainbows just because you want to endure, Please, your child should not see you and your husband fighting, it would result in early stage depression. I have a lot to share on this, but I will allow our mates share their views as well.
Be safe and be aware of your deity's prayer ethics, I think they work, I might be an atheist, but I am not ignorant of what I read about Christians and broken homes and how miraculously these things are fixed, if you believe, you will receive.
Cheers.
Yours Blogospherially.
Q.E.D
He haa not started beating her but it might get worse soon. The Lord will do a new thing
ReplyDeleteWe have read this before.
ReplyDeletePosted last week
ReplyDeleteThis chronical sounds familiar
ReplyDeleteDear Poster IF IT IS TRUE...Am so sorry about what you are going through..Men and work go hand in glove..Once a man loses his job, he feels worthless as a man..Instead of dying in silence, why not invite someone he respects a lot to talk to him at least and I know you would feel letting your parents know will be like I-talk-am kind of thing..But You have got to involve them cause only them can help in a way..Abeg take it easy, u have got one life to live..and u have a child so no kill yourself..
ReplyDeleteStella you have posted this chronicle before
ReplyDeleteStella you have posted this before na.
ReplyDeleteOld post
ReplyDeleteRecession is taking its toll on a lot of people and businesses,a lot of cool people gradually becoming a monster,I pray for peace into your home,pls pray for him and give him a long straw of patience since you know he is normally not like this,pls chat me on Watsapp if you don't mind me sharing some things with you!
ReplyDeleteWe hve handled this case nahhhh. This one na old story
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm, I think you should get someone he respect be involved, please speak out....
ReplyDelete#Good relationships don't just happen. They take time, patience and two people getting through all the hard times together*
ReplyDelete@My Two Kobo IF IT IS TRUE..So is it pastor that will use your case as gossip in church or as story..Look there is no one-size-fits-all advice to this..Let her tell her parents and be damned..Unless her and his parents are not wise people..If it escalates into domestic violence nko..Poster I still stand on you telling your parents ..You will never see an elderly man leave a goat in labour in tethers..Thank you
ReplyDeleteThis chronicle was posted last week Stella.
ReplyDeletePoster......like I said the last time its the lack of money that turned him to a nagging husband. Men don't like it when they can't provide for their family. He won't tell you but his ego as a man is bruised hence the complaining and abuse.
Try to massage his ego by appreciating the little money he gives or little house chore he's able to help you with. Over look many of his faults, he's the one that will later realised he's been over doing things. It's not easy but try not to report him now cause he may feel you're exposing him to the world.
Don't have any more child now until he's able to get a job......inugo....