STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRYING A NON CATHOLIC
I am a Catholic. Not only by birth but also by personal choice. I don't attend Sunday masses regularly( by choice) but I attend the blessed sacrament almost everyday. I am a staunch paduan( st. Anthony, Catholics will understand better). I also attend the divine mercy prayers.
The problem is i am planning to marry a non-catholic soon,
my family don't mind. I love my fiance and would like to spend my life with him.
My problem is I don't know how to cope with his church. Catholic church is the only church in which I find peace. I thought I could work it out since I don't take Sunday masses seriously; go to his Church with him on Sunday then go to weekday activities in my church but now I don't know.
On mother Mary,s birthday, I was going through the comments on that post and I couldn't hold my tears. , I burst into tears.
How will I cope, I can't bear the thought of not teaching my kids how to recite their rosary, consecrating my family to the Anthonian devotion. The trips to the monastery ( gives me so much peace), how can i stop that? Will this affect my marriage?
Is there bv that have been through this ( catholic marrying non-catholic), please how did you cope? I can't ask fiancé to convert. We are igbos(Anambra); that would incur the wrath of his family.
PS. I never knew fiancé was non catholic when we met, he never told me until it was too late. He also attended a Catholic school so he knew all the prayers and even prayed them with me so I just assumed he was.
Over to Atheist. 🙄🙄🙄
ReplyDeleteThat boy is not "atheist", he is a theophobe
DeleteThe mistake you made was "assuming he was one".
DeleteIt is not too late "not to marry him"
It is not too late "to cut a deal with him if you trust him"
The deal of allowing "you and the kids" to attend weekly catholic events but sunday services in "his church".
The most useful pathway here is instituting a Bible study altar in your house
where every member of the family gets to know the scriptures first hand; not "church dogma"
In this way, your family will be founded on the Love of Christ
And nothing will be able to fracture it.
Lmao!
DeleteMadam poster..
DeleteSee you have no problem atall oooo.
Since he went to a Catholic school, he will definitely convert.. Just try n persuade him very well.. He may convert.
But if he doesn't convert, try is always a way to doing things.. Don't be afraid
You guys should talk it out. You should agree on a place of worship. Your parish priest will give him a form to fill... promising he won't stop you from practicing your faith.
DeletePeople will say it's not an issue, but trust me it is.
No strong non Catholic will convert. Forget that line. I went to a Holy Rosary secondary school, I know the prayers and all but I can NEVER become a Catholic or allow my kids be indoctrinated as such.
DeleteDo not marry him. Move on!
Young girl, why worry ur self? Salvation is personal. The mistake people do is mix up marriage with personal believes.u can do it church and he does his that should not affect the only thing both of you should share(love).
DeletePlz go u don't have any problem, this is not a chronicle abeg, if u can't cope, don't marry him.
ReplyDeletePoster you will cope believe me. Just know that we are serving God. But I will advise you to discuss this with your boo before marriage and come to a compromise, so there will be peace in your marriage. I would also advise you to do Sundays with hubby if he is a church goer and you can continue with your sacraments. Kids can be introduced to both denominations and allowed to choose when older, but as kids you all will be better off attending hubby's church or yours if he is game. Just try to pursue peace and be the wise woman who builds her home.
DeleteTrue talk my dear
DeleteAngel ray, your advise is just apt
DeleteMstchew!
ReplyDeleteJusus Christ is everywhere learn to cope with his doctrine, you are not born to remain in one place,be vassata.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you mean versatile. You're welcome
DeleteIs 'vassata' another way of writing versatile? Hmm..
DeleteVassata kor.. Cassava ni
Delete"Vassata?"
DeleteI thought you were VERSATILE?
I also thought that a FULL STOP (.) is after "everywhere" before we LEARN to cope with a one sentence page
Versatile
DeleteHianity!!!!! Sweetie, *versatile* mbok.
DeleteWhat's with your keypad?
DeleteDju need a new phone???
Versatile..😋😋
Lol@vassata!i hope you are joking with that spelling
DeleteVasa what?
DeleteSee me laughing like a mad hyena.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😃😃😃😂😂😂 I always look out for your comments and that of sexy daddy.
Una three much aswear. God bless una.
Make I no use laugh wound my destiny abeg... I. can't. breathe.
You people should just leave SWEETIE alone o
Deletevassata or versatile at least we all got the message LMAO
Talk things out with him and you both should compromise.... The kids will learn since you and thier father already know the prayers
ReplyDeleteThere is no issue here.
ReplyDeleteCommunication and agreement is what matters now.
Discuss with your husband and ask if you can stick with your catholic faith.
I married a non Catholic. Although his isn't far from Catholic.
he is an Anglican; but we talked about it as I really didn't feel totally complete in the Anglican setting So he agreed we stick to Catholic church.
Just have a discuss with your Mr and find a common agreeable ground.
All the best.
Different strokes for different people... Madam catholic,following him and adapting to his church is a MUST for you,whether you like it or yes...you will get adapted to it as time goes on.... But if you want peace to reign,and yu know your hubby won't like you teaching his kids rosary,better AVOID it. Marriage is a different ball game altogether... For the fact that you are marrying him,you v almost given up everything about you... I wish you well
ReplyDeleteExactly my point. She should MOVE ON if she cannot cope.
DeleteI don't believe you saying you didn't know he was non catholic until it was too late, I bet you said that so we wouldn't say why did you get this far knowing what you wouldn't take.
ReplyDeleteAll these one's na story, we all know it's a mother that is hands on on the kids and most times gets to teach them all they know. So I don't see the big deal, you can teach your children what you want them to know about your faith and it's not like your man is against it. You're just making a mountain out of a mole hill. Everyday you people look for issues where there is none, at least he goes to church and he is Christian.
You'd be fine and if you know it won't work then you know what to do, don't stress us with questions you already have answers to.
Abi o.so since you guys have been dating,you never talked about church,u v never asked on a Sunday if he went to church,bla bla bla. That one aside....
DeleteIf you lovethis guy much as you claim,then you have no problem.marry him,attend his church in Sundays. Teach your kids the rosary(after discussing all these and reaching a compromise with your man anyways).you can't eat your cake and have it. Weigh it, and the answer is lying there next to you
I beg to differ please. Denominations matter especially when doctrines contrast.
DeleteI cannot marry outside my church, I am Seventh-Day Adventist.
Where will I start from? I don't attend parties on Saturday, what if my husband's family has functions?
I don't eat unclean food. What if my husband wants catfish peppersoup?
I don't pray out loud. What if my husband is an MFM member?
I'll wake on Saturday morning to prepare for church and my husband would demand pounded yam for breakfast. What will I do?
Or worse still I will marry a celestial and get that headache-inducing incense all over my house? Then they'll claim I am a witch?.
Or when it's family day in my church, where husbands and wives are asked to sit together and get lectures. I will now sit alone?
Please there are some denominations that shouldn't marry. If una just dey go mark attendance for church, it's okay. But to be believers in your respective doctrines? The woman will obey her husband..but be unhappy for the rest of her life.
Marriage is deeper than you think.
I tire for her. How will you be assuming someone's religion?
DeleteSeventh day Adventist carry all those rules?
DeleteJehovah's witness dey try be that o
Wow... I've thought about this for myself too. What would I do if I fall in love with a non-Catholic? Like you, I'm a Catholic not just because of my parents, but personal choice else, I would have been attending other churches in school.
ReplyDeleteFrom your narrative, you didn't indicate if you already discussed it with your fiance. You both could reach a compromise (at least for your children)... I have a roommate, she's a Christian but her sister is a Muslim, and they are happy with themselves... Try to drop it in a subtle way, it should be easy for you since your fiance went to a Catholic school... Your marriage classes too could help, since you both are going to be wedded in the church, it should be easier for him becoming a full catholic
Meanwhile, I shed tears when I read that post of Our Lady's birthday... I was hurt I missed it too
As first you will find it difficult but as time goes on you'll get use to it and blend with their doctrines
ReplyDelete...and we are all supposedly Christians serving one God?
DeleteWow!
@Eka they differs in their ways, deeper life, catholic. Anglican, 7days, jehova witness,CAC MFM caruben and serafin aka white garment
Delete...and we are all supposedly Christians serving one God?
DeleteWow!
Seems you never ready for marraige. Abeg next post
ReplyDeleteI tell ya! Kikikikikiki
DeleteHahahahhahahah
DeleteYou can still change your mind na
ReplyDeleteYou sure say you don ready to marry so??? Well, Its all based on understanding. If you approach him that you will love to continue worshipping at your own place and he agrees to it, good and fine. If not, you have no option than to join him wherever he worships. Thats how its meant to be. This one no be talk at all abeg.
ReplyDeleteAs in eh
DeleteWhen u reach heaven's gate, Angel Micheal or Peter will give u special treatment cos u are a catholic ! Catholism is full of idolatry. Plain idolatry. Pls look for someone who shares yr belief in idolatry. Anybody who menstruates will have suffer for his or her insults a million times
ReplyDeleteAnd you call yourself a good Christian? With all this hate words you spilled? Wehdone
DeleteAnonymous wehdone oooo.
DeleteWehdone..u hear??? Wehdone..
My Catholic church is not full of idolatry..
Please grow up.
Tu comprend?
If it concerns you this much, you should have stopped the relationship at the early stages. But clearly, it still concerns you, please don't go into that marriage if you are not willing to give up your doctrines.
ReplyDeleteWhen people of different denominations want to marry, it's a matter of if they are just mere churchgoers or believers in the doctrine.
If you are a staunch believer in the doctrines of your church, don't try to marry outside it most especially as a female.
Even Paul told the gentile women that were converted and had unconverted husbands that they shouldn't be rude to their husbands and still be submissive to them saying that maybe their good attitudes towards their husband will make him get converted too.
But why go through the hassles of that when you could simply just stick to men in your denomination?
Poster, who knows he might let you do your thing..but that is very unlikely too.
Even if he agrees now, he might change his mind in future.
DeleteOp you make it sound like ritual activities or some kind of spooky practice. You know your options...u marry him and follow him to his church or you leave him and marry a Catholic so that u can continue your Anthonian stuff. Both of you should discuss it though.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you made up your mind to be staunch whatever you have carved for yourself and not willing to bend for your spouse. You will likely have issues with your him in this area so loosen up and explore. And uphold sacrament above church and looks as if you have created your own religion
ReplyDeleteI am like you the only difference is that I am non Catholic and have turned down proposals because they are of Catholic faith.
ReplyDeleteI don't have anything against Catholic just that it's a doctrine I didn't grow up with so the thought of embracing Catholic doctrine scares me.
There is nothing like you and your spouse attending same church BUT I've seen families where the spouses don't attend same church and they are cool with it.
My besties dad is a staunch Catholic and her mum an Adventist and they are cool with it.Their dad insisted the kids attend Catholic but their mum remained an Adventist.The kids are grown up and they attend different churches.
Church hasn't saved anyone but a personal conviction with God is what matters. If you must be with your guy,both of you should decide now which doctrine your kids will follow to avoid it becoming an issue in future.If you are not convinced, then wait for a Catholic guy to propose.
Stop getting worked up joor, talk with your boo and express your fears.Dazall!
BV MSC
Poster you don't have problem. But if you think you do, bring his number here for other ladies that are interested.
ReplyDeleteLet me go to EEI 🏃🏃🏃🏃
Rubbish talk... Let people with issues write in.
ReplyDeleteDear poster when you do get married, things will fall into place trust me. Just make sure you are happy in your beautiful marriage first. To be honest I don't think this is a big problem as you can still carry on being a catholic and carry on doing all those things you used to do. Poster look forward to having a happy marriage and stop getting paranoid.
ReplyDeleteI disagree, an issue this serious needs sorting out. To avoid another lengthy chronicle.
DeleteIF IT IS TRUE..What do you want, woman?!..Dont validate other people's lives with yours..You are too religious for my liking when it is spirituality u need to consider..If he possess 70% of what you want..Go ahead and marry him..stop all these religious sentiments..Spirituality is what matters not being religious..
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteYou sound like you made up your mind to be staunch whatever you have carved for yourself and not willing to bend for your spouse. You will likely have issues with your him in this area so loosen up and explore. And uphold sacrament above church and looks as if you have created your own religion
ReplyDeleteU guys can go to separate church na...does it matter...mtcheww
ReplyDeleteUka abulugo passport to heaven nwanyi? Your challenge should be where to wed. If after marriage he can permit you to be visiting blessed sacrament, you are good to go. I don't have strength to write much on this, follow your mindset poster.
ReplyDeleteAre you a religious fanatic?
ReplyDeletePoster abeg u no get problem oo..u never ready to marry sef,wen u ready even if na Eckanker or Olumba Olumba d guy dey go u go follow am go...Next chronicle pls
ReplyDeleteGaskiya! I was so shocked when wan spirikoko sister for school that time come marry one Eckanker guy. Why was I shocked? She was the type that liked criticising others and feeling holier than thou. My was I shocked. So I believe you are right, when a woman wan settle down marry, she go marry.
DeleteIt's either you are in or out. I believe the guy is very rich that's why you are asking us this question because if the reverse is the case, you wouldn't bring this issue here. You will just drop him like eaten chewing gum.
ReplyDeleteIs this one chronicles? Mtchewww
ReplyDeletePoster this is not a problem.. .while it's better for a couple to attend the same church it is not a do or die affair. If your hubby to be doesn't mind you can keep going to your church, if he does you can start attending his with him...if you don't see that happening if he fails to oblige call off the wedding. This is not a problem.
ReplyDeleteSweetie I am Anglican, and my husband attends living faith. That was before we married, hahahaha. He's Anglican now. My understanding is that the marriage will take place in your church and hubby must promise to send the kids for catechism and observe the blessed sacrament. So you will have a shot at teaching the kids about Catholic doctrines.
ReplyDeleteHaving been married close to a year, I want to advice you that it is not doctrines that will keep a marriage but a foundation built on trust in God. Things are tough for hubby and I and most times the way we get through them is on our knees before God at the marriage bed.
Your priorities should be does he fear God and does he love you as much as himself, if yes, go ahead. The threat of evil doesn't know denomination or creed. All around us, our children are the target of corruption, take time out to pray for the children you will have for this man. Tell God to mould them for you, speak words of life into their destiny then commit yourself to teach them morals and prayers. It's well with you my sister.
Living Faith and Anglican is same na. I attend both. Catholics have FUNDAMENTAL differences with others.
DeleteA family that prays together stays together not a family that goes to the same church stays together.
ReplyDeleteReligion is a personal thing pls. If he's not stopping u from going to ur church and he genuinely loves God, why do u want to stop him from doing the same, Biko?
I hope you also know different denominations have different ways of praying..
DeleteThe Catholics start with ..In he name of the father..." while holding their rosary.
The celestial starts with...Jehovah..Mimo!
Then we have the "My father, my father...." people..
So when you say a family that prays together?..what prayer type are you saying?
Anon 17:22, very funny.
DeleteWhile holding their rosary ke. Same catholic faith that I am into ? We use it to start prayers in recognition of the blessed trinity . It does not go hand in hand with the rosary . Forget movies .
DeleteAnd how is this one chronicle?....
ReplyDeleteAnd how is this one chronicle?....
ReplyDeleteAm a catholic married to a non catholic, when I was still single it was one of my topmost prayer request to remain in the catholic church even when married because I too can not stay away from the catholic faith. When I started dating my man I told him and he said it is okay by him. I got him baptised in the catholic church and he is receiving the holy communion. On our wedding day, our priest announced to everybody that his name is now Joseph and member of the catholic church. His family did not want to agree saying am controlling him but he stood his ground saying that is want he want. Today we attend a catholic church as our family church. Do not allow fear to build up in ur heart, talk to your man. Do not make it a condition to attend d church before you can marry him because no man wish to be controlled but make him to understand how you feel and plead with him. Pray also about it because the heart of men are in God's hand. Come back to share your testimony dear.
ReplyDeleteIf it scares you so much, just leave him or better still, discuss with him to know his stand.
ReplyDeleteThe earlier we all realise we are not serving the same God the better for us.
ReplyDeleteDoctrines are far wide apart and so is the belief.
If you can't adjust to his faith,leave him!
Let an unbeliever marry an unbeliever, let a witch marry a wizard, let a Catholic marry a Catholic and we will all be happy.
I have this meme..very apt!
DeleteSo the very one church that stemmed from Jesus himself down to St. Peter is not serving the same God as you. I wonder the God you are serving then.
DeleteOk poster it's simple, leave the guy alone if you won't be able to go to his church if he need arises, cos u can't be going to different churches under the same roof, so my advice is leave him for a woman who don't have this problem that is too big for u to handle or bend lol
ReplyDeleteWhat's all this religion talk all about? Is it not the same God, same Christianity, same bible,same heaven we all are aspiring to mk?
ReplyDeleteHian,this is why d Muslims are peacefull wt themselves
Christian religion has too many denomination Baptist, Adventist, Catholic, Presbyterian, Anglican, Witness, etc .......and inside these, they still hv segregation eg, Baptist would say..this is under national Baptist, n dt under state Baptist.
We hv too many problems jare and its killing if u dnt knw ur bible n ur God well
The main thing there should be, he is a christian. Let's all forget our denomination n be ONE in our faith pls.
DeleteI could swear I sent this chronicle. So m not alone on how to deal with non Catholic le boo
ReplyDeleteThis one no be wahala.
ReplyDeletePoster I can understand your plight but really try and discuss this with your husband to be, and if he refuse you can stick to his church, is really not a big deal we are all saving one God, I know you love our Catholic church.
ReplyDeleteThat you knew too late about him being a non-catholic is a statement that I do not believe.
ReplyDeleteGood, you have found what gives you peace but it might not give your children (or all) the same peace. If it is something that you will not be able to deal with and your fiancé remains resolute regarding his stance, walk now. Don't make your future home more difficult with issues that should have been taken care of beforehand.
Please this is no issue. Next please.
ReplyDeleteThis one too na chronicle? Lmaoooo
ReplyDeleteYour case is that you are scared of letting go, cause I believe as a Christian we all serve the same God. My dear you can impact your Catholic knowledge to your children and you can sit your man down to discuss about your fear. The only thing that will make you break up the relationship is if there is no love between both of you,or....... Stay blessed
ReplyDeleteIt might become an issue since you already don't feel that inner peace in other churches. Those who are like you find it very hard to cope elsewhere. Even if he allows you to attend your church and he goes to his own, you will not still be happy when you see other couples together in church.
ReplyDeleteIt is working for some people but it will not work for all. If you know it will not work for you from your inner most heart, please don't suffocate yourself in that marriage. I was like you..... I tried hard to pretend it was going to work... It never did in a relationship so it couldn't have worked in the marriage.... I let go and now I am happy marrying in my church.... and I have no headache struggling kids from my husband's church to mine.
Dear Poster, I am a Catholic and I must say that the worst you made was to bring a matter of faith to a public domain such as this that have little or no regard for religion. Majority of people on this blog are freethinkers and worldly, not spiritual enough to give you the real advise you need. You will end up being confused.
ReplyDeleteIf you really say you are Catholic and deeply involved in your parish activities and devotion, your very first point of call in your decision is to visit your parish priest for advice and I'm sure we ask you to discuss with your fiance and even call both of you for counseling to let him understand the implication of marrying a Catholic and propose a mixed marriage and help you get a dispensation to marry a non-Catholic. You and your fiance will have to agree that you will continue to be and raise your children as Catholics. Your salvation comes first before any other thing. If you don't get it right now and let your fiance your spiritual/faith interest both of you could end miserable. Go to your parish priest and let him guide you. This space is the wrong place to seek advice about that. All the commenters show a very poor understanding or appreciation of what we practice and hold as Catholics. They don't know what we are or have. Should need to reach me do a rejoinder. Cheers
This is exactly what I wrote up there. Second to d last sentence....."they dnt knw what WE are or have"....Thinking one doctrine is better than d other
DeleteLol parish priest that is probably f***ing other members and they have done 20 abortions currently pregnant for the 21st is who you're telling her to visit for advise??? People really have stone and rock brain.
DeleteGod bless you Anonymous.
Delete@Ehis why you skip that comment saying Catholics are idol worshipers and come here to talk about thinking one doctrine is better than the other? So it's okay of other talk ill of the Catholic faith but when Catholics praise themselves it looks like superiority to you.
Aunty Stella Swallow this again
Story for the gods. Your fiance might agree now and change his mind after marriage. Will u divorce him then?
DeleteIf u can't cope, let him go.
Poster u love dis guy go for him wat u should be concern abt is ur happiness. Ho with him to his church while sometimes u convince to go with u to ur church its just a matter of understanding. U won't regret it expect he shouldn't believe in God then u should have problem with that am also a born catholic but not a fan of I mist get married to a catholic. Love conquer it all. Make him see reasons with u.
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him, to avoid division in your home. wait for your Catholic brother to find you.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm..you don't know he's a not a catholic? Someone you want to get married to.so on Sundays you don't gist if he went to church and how mass was? And if he receives communion? How can you say you don't know? Ishhhh
ReplyDeleteIt's simple ma'am, if you can't cope, don't marry him so you won't write us another chronicle.. even if you discuss wid him, he might pretend to agree wid wahever u say bur would change when u finally get married to him, nat saying he would bur trust Our men,(they are the head of the family) wahever they say stands, I don't know the kinda relationship you had wid him before u proceeded wid the thought of settling down wid him, search your heart, if you can't cope, let go..
ReplyDeleteLeave him na. I beg when u do send me his personal details. I have one sister looking for husband. She doesn't care what denomination as long as he's a Christian. Thanks in advance!
ReplyDeletenawa. u guys make the whole Catholic thing sounds like a court. I'm sure at the end of the day, it is ur personal relationship with God that matters..I dnt get this whole Catholic thing anymore. in fact I read a comment here and it was annoying me. my dear if the doctrine(which will nt take u to heaven or make u leave a God fearing life) really matters to U, please leave the bobo alone so he can find one pentecostal sister. u too waka go find ur Catholic brother top..u guys jst think the doctrine will take u to heaven.. continue practising religion ooo and not worshipping God
ReplyDeleteAunty i am a catholic too .Nkw ask yourself this....Would your faith as a catholic take you to heaven?This is whatvi always ask wen people come up with i cannot marry a non catholic.If youvlike ehn loose a good man because u want to marry catholic.Ull see a catholic woman beater and ullvmarry him because he is catholic.Abeg getout biko.Mtchewww. Una too dey vex me with how willvi marry a non catholic.Is catholic visa to salvation?Ask your self dat.So other denomination church members wont make heaven i kwa?Goin to parish priest to me makes no sense!!!of course he will tell bros to allow u raise ur kids as catholics...Wen he has given this direction hubdo u live with?Priest or husband?Will you and ur spouse be happy?my point here...Marrying a catholic or living foreva as one does not gurantee you a happy marriage .Let me stop here and hop you use ur sense .
ReplyDeleteHmmm people are doing mid-night prayers to marry this one is talking story that jump the fence, it's obvious you weren't focused from the day one. Because if you are I believe you should be able to know the church he is going not coming here to tell us that you are Catholic DNA....tah gbalaga
ReplyDeleteLeave him. Shikena!
ReplyDeleteDiscuss this with your man, you both should come to an agreement. To me I don't think there is any issue here, except your man is complaining.
ReplyDeleteYou are not born again so cannot make heaven....people should stop fooling themselves.....Catholics worship Mary and salvation is all about Jesus....no matter your denomination if you are not born again forget......no truly born again person will remain catholic and still be worshipping Mary....it idolatry, fact
ReplyDelete