WOW....Come in here if you know how to give sound advice eeeeh...
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
PROS AND CONS OF MR A AND MR B
Please help me post as i need your unbiased opinions and that of the BV's on your take on this two guys.I am a 25 year old,non-desperate,working class lady living in Abuja.I am of the opinion that there is no right person,just different flavor of wrong. I am seeking out a partner who is wrong in a complimentary way;but not just any wrong person,the right wrong person.
Mr A is 30 years old.I have known him for 6 months.
PROS
He is genuinely interested which is evident with his upfront communication and sound judgement.He doesn't leave me guessing about the role he intends to play.He is focused with a clear vision and also has it going quite well for himself. He is in love with mind,like undressing my thoughts and conscience. He shows focused attention and is respectful.
CONS
He is cocky, i think he belongs to those male species that believe that showing care is a sign of weakness for a man.He is a lackadaisical christian which may result in conflict of interest between us because i am not sexually active and do not plan on compromising on my values.(P.S- He gets turned on the regular)
Questions Arising for Mr.A
1.How do i cope with him if he can't master self-control?
2.How do i convince him to be a committed christian?
Mr.B is 36 years old.I have known him for 3 months.
PROS
He is quite serious about me. I have known him for 3 months.
He is a committed christian.He is sincere and opens up easily.He really goes the extra mile in seeing that i am comfortable.He is a good planner and a fun-loving person.He is really caring.
CONS
He is playing house.He's not upfront with his communication.He also has this care-free attitude.He is separated for 2 years now from his embittered wife of 4 years who has vehemently refused to sign divorce papers.He is also from a background with high divorce cases which is quite disturbing because he blames the women for the occurrence of the divorce apart from the case of his mum.
Questions Arising for Mr. B
1. How do i go about his "separation issue" because if we get involved in future it would be a case of bigamy.This scares me because i always have Miss Tonto and Mr Churchill's situation at the back of mind.
Thank you for posting Stella and to you that special BV that read it to the end,thank you for posting your unbiased comments.
Your truly,
Miss Anonymous.
Let me drag those big chair to read comments
ReplyDeleteThe answer to the "non-desperate lady's" question is a question:
DeleteMust you marry from these two?
Is your destinies tied to theirs?
Why don't you dismiss both of them?
Will you like to be in the B's wife's shoes and see another woman around your husband?
The "cocky non-committed christian A" isn't going to be humble and committed if you marry him; will he?
Please free them and face your peaceful life.
Congrats for being chaste; it is very important. We do not want any chronicle of "pounded and dumped". It pains me to read such.
You told us all their "flaws"
DeleteYou did not tell us your flaws and cons. . . . yes and pros.
You are all you need to decide,look deep within you and do some soul searching,find out what you want and you'd find the answers you need. Most times we ladies put too much pressure on ourselves over commitment and marriage that we forget to enjoy the relationship and company we have at the moment. For the now enjoy the fact that they both are in your life. Dont be in a haste to pick any of them as they've not given you a ring or asked to meet your parents. Enjoy the attention and pray. Let go and let God. Allow God guide your decision,that's the only way you'd find your 'right wrong man'. All the best dear.
DeleteSweetie there is ihunnanya in sharing. Abeg shift for me
DeleteLook for Mr C that has the right combination of A and B. Problem solved!
DeleteAyam not a babalawo so poster I cannot help here ooo. Over to wiser BVs.
DeleteYinmu. Mr separated is very married. Don't let anyone deceive you with church attitude. The day you open your legs you'll realise his wife has never been embittered but probably pregnant. Look elsewhere since you're not ready for sex with Mr A.
DeleteNone of the above. Mr A wants to smash. Me B wants to smash but with no ties.
DeleteNone are serious/appropriate. Keep it moving.
Btw, you are damn naïve.
Spend more time with them.
ReplyDelete6months/3months is toooooooooooooooooooo short like ELASTIC prick.😂😂😂
I like your composition, very apt.
Not like those "..."
I'm interested in you, if you don't mind.
I go to church.
I'm caring
I listen.
But jealous
😋😋😋😋
Stop jealoua
DeleteBoth of them are a no no for me self. I love caring men but he should have self control. And for Mr B, I hate men that always blame others for their mistakes.
ReplyDeleteSomething irks me about divorced men...who don't share the blame..oh well people are different..
ReplyDeleteBut in all of these I think communication is key..which makes me tilt a little to the ist guy..and mind you you can't convince a person to be a true Christian....that is the work of God and grace..so result to prayers the most basic thing is...is he a good person? That's all you really need..go to God for his soul
Forget about both of them. The timing is also too short-3&6 months.
ReplyDeleteYou can friend zone them and keep watching them.
As for mr A, convincing a man to be a committed Christian is not for you to do, if it is to be a genuine one, he has to discover and realise the need for himself.
Some might just pretend just to get what they want.
Good luck.
Best advice
DeleteSimple...go for Mr A nah, less baggage.
ReplyDeleteReplace Mr B with another man
😂😀😀
@ Poster, it seems you are looking for a perfect man? We cant help you with that here.
ReplyDeleteCos if there was Mr C,D,E,F,G,H all of them will have Pros and Cons.
Since you are not desperate to settle down just have fun and see how it goes.
Peace
I will be harsh:
ReplyDeleteKEEP LOOKING. A no fit, B is not a serious man. He is not divorced either. His wife refused to sign the papers ke...are you sleeping on a bicycle sister?
Take some time to really get to know yourself more. Take some time to know what is truly important to you in regards to a man in your life. Step away from A and B, your man is not in any of them.
Click on the picture as my dp here, read it out loud to yourself.
DeleteSweetie let me be honest with you. Look else where. Because you are so not ready to supervise a trailer load of baggages labeled with drama.
ReplyDeleteMr B is a no no !
ReplyDeleteWait for C.
ReplyDeleteB is a NO!
Exactly wait for C
DeleteAnon 15.55's comment is the advice you need, poster.
DeleteLets start with Mr A shall we.
ReplyDeleteHe is a passive christian, that is evidently sexually active.
The question here is, how good a christian are you? You are not sexually active but there is no where you insinuated that you might be BORN AGAIN Christian.
I am merely clarifying this because most ladies want a 'God fearing' man when they are just church goers. So it is a huge difference. You must have,what you expect.
Is he Kind? Respectful to people around him? Not just you. Is he a giver? Nowadays these are what to look out for amonsgt other things.
If his cockiness makes him undermine and look down on you, Its a major turn off.
I have dated men that were sexually charged but ended up having amazing conversations and a meaningful relatiosnhip with them without having sex.
It all depends on how you are. Who you are. Carry yourself well and see men bend to do what you want. State what you want and don't give dodgy signals.
Do you pledge a non- sexual relationship but its found sending erotic text messages to other side attractions? He will never trust you. Do you say NO, and mean YES? Don't mix up your signals, It isn't bad to be sexually attracted to whom you might marry, just be staright about your feelings.
Even though you might not rule out sexual activities like cuddling and kissing entirely(depending on your urges) but it is usually safe to avoid anything that will keep both of you cooped up alone overnight.
I think you should give the first Mister a shot. See where it goes.
Second guy should sort his mess first. It is not your business to go about. Lol
Ciao
Dear poster, it's very clear that there's no room for you in Mr. B life! I don't think you want to end up with a man that his wife has refused to signed the divorce papers.
ReplyDeleteHave you tried to find out what really caused his separation from his wife?
Please, close that door before it's too late.
As for Mr.A, I think you should continue to talk to him about his beliefs and Christian life. If you do not give him the green light on opening your cookies jar, I don't believe he will force you.
How you started your relationship with him matters, did you let him know from the onset that no matter how horny he is, the cookies jar will remain closed until after that marriage vows? Or you just laughed it off or you didn't even bothered to discuss about it.
You must also try to live by example, you can't be saying NO to pre marital sex and be indulging in oral sex. You can't say NO to sex and still use your hand to rob his "john Thomas" every now and then.
You have to compose yourself and be self discipline.
Above all, don't forget to pray. Ask God to reveal things to you about these men. Maybe none of the two is yours. Someone else might just be around the corner waiting for the road to be cleared.
Aha
DeleteWoman! We are thinking/typing alike.
You even breathed words into some points I missed♥️
Go for A.. If he can't cope with no sex he should fuck off!
ReplyDeletePoster our people said that anyone that goes to the market and fight for 4market days, it is not the people that come to the market are looking for his/her trouble but he/she is the one looking for their trouble.
ReplyDeleteWhat I'm trying to say is that Mr B blamed those women for the divorce, if you marry him get ready to be blamed for divorce.
As for Mr A, go for him. If he want sex, then become active and lash his brain into your hands and handle his mumu button.
BTW why are you stingy off a hole that did not even cost you a dime to drill? Not as if you know when it was drilled.
Do you know that tohtoh no get metre?
Not as if the sex will not sweet you.
🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
DeleteI knew you were going to focus on that sex part.
This time though, you didn't use all those colorful,blush-inducing Igbo words.
Chike kedu ihe gina sex jiri di na mma too much?
Iphie Dearie ihe mere mu na ILA OTU jiri di na mma bu na ona asowa nti. Okwa ila sie ya kita oguba gi ozigbo... Lol
DeleteEkwugom na onye cho ILA OTU ya lakapu ya ife na ekweru ya Egwu, ka oga Abu akpo gi Ola otu iza zasie ya ike...
Do you know that the fastest way to relief stress is sex... Nne okwa ILA OTU bu Egwu eji... 😂😂😂😂😂
So everybody don't miss it!!!
Grab otele and lash it
Kikikikiki Kikikikiki Kikikikiki Kikikikiki Chike CHYKO why are you always like this? 😏😏😏😏😏😁😁😁😁😁😁
Delete😂😂😂😂 chike whhhyyyy????
DeleteIt get meter my dear it can also catch std s easily.
DeletePoster,for me you are still single and available!
ReplyDeleteyou cant be a good christian and still be thinking of dating a guy who has a wife...there is no divorce in Christ...if a man leaves his wife the bible is very clear that he shld remain single.
ReplyDeletedate a single guy...get to know him and move ahead from there. you should also work on your values as a christian
You need to grow up. After 3 and 6 months you are posting and you say you are not desperate? That you can even consider B shows you are desperate and don't know whether you are coming or going!
ReplyDeletePoster just chill.. The right man with less baggage will come for u
ReplyDeleteMr B is a non starter. Keep talking to A but keep your options open
ReplyDelete#When you fall for someone's personality, everything about them becomes beautiful*
ReplyDeleteHave you fallen for me?😆
DeleteMy dear, I must commend you on getting two "single" men in ABUJA to show interest in you. Please forget Mr B completely, he's never going to divorce that woman, and stop giving him your money or allowing him visit you at home. Mr A will NEVER change unless HE wants to. You can't change him. Pray for godly discernment concerning your relationships and be sure to know when God is leading you alright?...
ReplyDeleteLastly, please check the Facebook profiles of these men very carefully, check their posts, pics and read comments, you may discover alot of things they're hiding. I don't want you to waste years trying to know someone. 6 or 3 months is enough to get the truth about someone if you have watchful eyes.
WATCH and PRAY
Your first 2lines took me back to when I was serving. A man told me that there's no husband in Abuja that when I'm ready to marry I should go to Lagos.
Delete😂😂😂
DeleteBaby girl, keep walking, don't stop walking, keep walking ok?
ReplyDeleteThe ONE will come and u will be fine
No man can change a man except if it's God"s Will. What i am saying in essence is d@ u need help from above to be able to change Mr A n Mr B bur if u ask my candid opinion to a non desperate 25 yr old lady dat u r i wud say wait for Mr C bfr u get to Z u wud hv found d one for u afteral "A" n "B" are not d only letters in d
ReplyDeleteMy thought exactly! They don't look ready to me
ReplyDeleteYou want to know how to convince an almost 40 year old man to be a committed Christian? Lmaoooooo. All the people he has met have not convinced him, even his parents but you will convince him ba?
ReplyDeleteHow do I convince you at 25 to grow up?
Is this a story or a drama, abi novel or prose?
ReplyDeletePoster........let me start by saying leave that Mr B alone cause he's still technically married to his ex - wife. So don't get entangled in that situationship. ...inugo
ReplyDeleteYou can keep your relationship with Mr A, you've only known him for 6 months and he may not be sure of his stand with you yet. Try and date him normally and see if the caring side of him will come out.....dating will allow you understudy him and know him better.......make sure you are alwsys comfortable around him. what will be will be....Stay happy and stop bothering your beautiful head dear;You won't have time for this analysis when the chemistry is strong between you two
You need a third option Mr C
ReplyDeletePoster,please are you a lecturer?
ReplyDeleteThe way you set this your question and at the end add "Required" like all those accounting questions ehn
Poster, do you want to propose marriage to any of the two? Because I didn't read where you wrote that one of them is proposing marriage to you?
ReplyDeletechim-oma a.k.a. Miss Kapusu
Take several seats Miss!
ReplyDeleteShe who judges them all did not list out her numerous faults which I believe abound.
He is not a serious Christian my ass: you should just admit you want to use that avenue to rope him in!
The other one that is now a serious Christian you have still found another fault .
Why don't you buy clay and mould the kind of man you want.
By the time you hit your 30s, all this your jumbo-jumbo gibberish thinking will end.
Have a nice day!
Meanwhile gov Fayose's Sallah picture is making me laugh. I am liking that guy more everyday. Kikikikikikiki
ReplyDeleteThank you.
ReplyDeleteShe's assuming wife position already
Mr. A gets turned on d regular and blah blah blah... As per Badoo sneh tinz
ReplyDeleteWait till u compromise ur values wiv him and then see his 'actual intentions' vanish before your eyes. Just leave him to wait for wedding night biko.
Seriously both of them can wait and especially Mr. B can wait for the next life cuz that man wud blame u for Everything little thing that temporarily drifts.
Keep ur options open and catch more fish ps.
So you called yourself a Christian and you have listened all their pros and cons. But the wicked part is you are double dating. Where did you learn that from in the Bible?
ReplyDelete#Two wrongs can't make a right
My dear,these two men u have met in this our abuja😕 sorry,u have not found Mr Him yet... Mr A has no self control and is a pagan,Mr B is not urs...none of them is urs. Write us back in 2yrs time.. Good luck on ur desperate search...
ReplyDeletePoster send questions for Mr C
ReplyDeletemy opinin? i think u shld zero ur mind abt these two guys u shldnt expect marriage from them. keep them as friends and look for the ryt man else where. u cnt b confused about smbdy u wnt to settle with. God will not confuse u rada he will put u on the right path, i tink u shld consult God he will open ur eyes kk.best of luck girl
ReplyDeleteForget both of them for serious relationship check out C & D
ReplyDeleteI am a lawyer. If Mr B is Nigerian, I can tell you that he is not been clear about his divorce ish. His wife is not mandated to sign any papers before a divorce proceeding can be heard and concluded. As long as there is evidence of proper service of the divorce petition on her,the court can very well proceed in her absence if she refuses to defend the matter. So the question you should ask him is whether he has initiated any divorce process before any court. For me Mr A is still a better option. If you are persuaded however that he is on a different spiritual pedestal from you then let go of both and pray a better man finds you.
ReplyDelete