So sad!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MARRIED TO A MAD WOMAN BY ERROR
Dear Stella, am a big fan infact have sent a chronicle here before and Ur response was amazing. Love u plenty, now straight to the main issue.
We ve a serious n complicated issue happening in my family. All i need is suggestions and probably a solution
My elder brother has been married for 6 years n blessed with 3 kids, trouble started after the birth of the last child. My sis in law started going insane, to think that she has always threw tantrums, like screaming unnecessarily in public, she has fought with a police officer who tried to check her papers. She has always been a good wife loved by us all so We just thought she was hot tempered.
Until the semi- blown madness happened, she threatened to kill my bro , herself. Alot of manifestation that looks like marine spirit, madness or witchcraft.
We informed her parents and all they did was summoned family meeting , prayed for her n sent her back to my bro. Since then some days she OK, some days she's staring absent minded . My bro sort help from a church and only one member of the family agreed to stay with and my bro at the church. She ran away from the church. We eventually took her to see a psychiatrist and he said some mental issues with depression. She was supposed to be admitted but yet again her family members refused to stay with her.
My dad and uncle did some findings around where she grew up n was told she has always had mental issues, we confronted the family and they confirmed it.
She dropped her kids over at my mum's, n she doesn't even seem concerned or misses them. I for one know my bro is so in love and still in love with her but we are scared for my bro safety.
My bro is no longer himself, he has lost his job and drinks a whole lot more. My family stood by him, he is in a better place now.
But the wife is at home with him, he doesn't go home early anymore, sometimes when her madness starts , he has to lock himself up in a room. We are supposed to hold a family meeting next week. What should we do as a family?? Should we return he back to her family and dissolve the marriage since it's based on deceit???
Finally, pls if anyone has gone through something like this, how did the person get treated.
Dear Stella, am a big fan infact have sent a chronicle here before and Ur response was amazing. Love u plenty, now straight to the main issue.
We ve a serious n complicated issue happening in my family. All i need is suggestions and probably a solution
My elder brother has been married for 6 years n blessed with 3 kids, trouble started after the birth of the last child. My sis in law started going insane, to think that she has always threw tantrums, like screaming unnecessarily in public, she has fought with a police officer who tried to check her papers. She has always been a good wife loved by us all so We just thought she was hot tempered.
Until the semi- blown madness happened, she threatened to kill my bro , herself. Alot of manifestation that looks like marine spirit, madness or witchcraft.
We informed her parents and all they did was summoned family meeting , prayed for her n sent her back to my bro. Since then some days she OK, some days she's staring absent minded . My bro sort help from a church and only one member of the family agreed to stay with and my bro at the church. She ran away from the church. We eventually took her to see a psychiatrist and he said some mental issues with depression. She was supposed to be admitted but yet again her family members refused to stay with her.
My dad and uncle did some findings around where she grew up n was told she has always had mental issues, we confronted the family and they confirmed it.
She dropped her kids over at my mum's, n she doesn't even seem concerned or misses them. I for one know my bro is so in love and still in love with her but we are scared for my bro safety.
My bro is no longer himself, he has lost his job and drinks a whole lot more. My family stood by him, he is in a better place now.
But the wife is at home with him, he doesn't go home early anymore, sometimes when her madness starts , he has to lock himself up in a room. We are supposed to hold a family meeting next week. What should we do as a family?? Should we return he back to her family and dissolve the marriage since it's based on deceit???
Can we the inlaws take her to church for deliverance and what if in the process something happens ??? If u were in my bro shoes, what will u do? I just can't watch my bro live a life like this, this has been on for the past 3years, not much support from the girls family, basically my family members have been the ones handling the physical and financial issues.
Finally, pls if anyone has gone through something like this, how did the person get treated.
All i have to say is Jesus fix it
ReplyDeleteTake her to see a psychiatrist not a church - you may still pray for her but she needs to see a doctor.
DeleteMental ill health is real, may be triggered by different pressures, and can be managed.
Take her to Pinnacle Medical center, download HOWBODI app and learn more.
God's grace to your brother and family.
Supported, Pinnacle Medical Center, Doctor Maymuna,is very good.
DeleteThey did take her to a psychiatrist.
DeleteTake her to the psychiatric hospital. No one needs to stay with her there. You probably went to a cut and nail psyche hospital where they requested that someone stayed with her. The prayers can continue but DO NOT take her to any church and keep her there in an unstable state. When you see improvement after admission into a psychiatric hospital, don't assume that she has been "cured" and jettison the medications. It will have to continue for a while. The doctor will tell her when to stop and how to go about it. You just don't stop psychiatric drugs abruptly. All the best.
DeleteThere are medications to manage her condition but only Jesus can heal.
DeleteShe is suffering from post partum depression, it happens after child birth she needs to see a doctor not pastor or prayers
DeleteNothing like marine spirit abeg just stop it.
DeleteCan't you people stay with her in the hospital? Must it be her family members?
Is she not your wife?
Poster, if she were you sister will you throw her away? Won't you help her? Let God conscience guide you oh.
DeleteShe clearly needs help and I don't know why you are whining.You sound like you are only concerned about your brother.
I am sorry but people do research BEFORE marriage not After! However, its done. Please locate a very good psychiatric hospice( They dont come cheap unfortunately) God is in control.
DeleteReturn her to where? Marriage is for better, for worst....
DeletePoster if your brother was the one sick and admitted is it you people or his wife that will stay by his bed side, so your brother is too big to stay with her in the hospital?, not like he's even too busy with work.
DeleteYou've been told that it's a mental problem but you're looking for spiritual link so that you can have an excuse to dump her.......
No they lied to him, if they had told him and he still went ahead to marry her, then is for better for worse or it just developed when they married.
DeleteY are u whining about returning her to her family and the family not helping financially? She answers your family's name now so take care of her or better still hire a caregiver or live-in-nurse
DeleteNa wa o,i will suggest you take her to a deliverance ministry and let them pray for her.
ReplyDeleteTruth is if tables were turned will you be happy if she moved out and left your brother to his madness.
Remember marriage is for better for worse.
Help her get better,keep praying for her and if she was sane for a period with your brother then it means it's not permanent brain damage.
LEP😛
Thank you jare.It is for better for worse.
DeleteI am also suffering from mental illness. It started after I graduated from uni. I went through a lot in school tho with my dad's threat of becoming a doctor of which I didn't even get to part 4. Men do jilt me after telling them my illness. Maybe that is why your brother's wife didn't open up to her. I don't really blame her. But why is she having attacks after a long time. Was she exposed to trauma or ill-treatments from your bro? Well, let her stick to her meds and put her in an hospital. It may be a psychiatric ward in a teaching hospital. I don't have relapse except I stop or reduce my drugs. Thank God for this guy that decided to stay till now. I will give God full thanks when he puts the ring on my finger. My parents and siblings are also one in a million. You people should be supportive I beg. Mental illness can happen to anyone. People don't even know I have it because I finished with a first class in the new department I crossed to when I was withdrawn from medicine and also the best student in my MSC class. My sister introduced me to this blog to keep me from depression. Sorry for my rant. Thanks bvs
DeleteAnnonymous@22.22 I'll like to be your friend
DeleteYou're really a strong person..
DeleteCommit her so she can be diagonised n treated properly, if her family objects, They should come and carry her.
ReplyDeleteThis is serious.
ReplyDeleteCommit her to a psychiatric hospital for heaven's sakes. Yes u guys can also call church to pray but dont keep her in a church.marriage is for better for worse so u guys have no right to tell your brother to send her back to her people.if tables were turned she'd be there for him too.your brother is depressed so u guys need to support him, show love and also help with the kids when u guys can. This is why u r a family.her own family dont care but u guys can make a difference
DeleteLike!
DeleteA man shall leave his mother and father and cling to his wife. In sickness and in health. If you people dissolve the marriage does it change the fact that she bore kids and will always be a part of their lives. For the sake of the kids, do not abandon simply because her family have done the same. Although it's unfair for her or her family to hide her mental issues if indeed they have truly existed and they were aware before marriage but then she is a part of the family and the union is blessed with 3 healthy children. I'd ask that you people ask your brother to confront her family and if they admit it then tell them that they'd need to intensify efforts to make her better just as your family is trying. I actually assumed it was post partum psychosis when you said it started after her 3rd child because some women get mentally depressed after a baby. Deliverance isn't bad but mental disorder is not always spiritual. She needs a counselor and psychiatrist, it would be unfair to make her pay for something that isn't her fault. She might also have thought she was better reason she didn't tell your brother. This is why it's very good to make proper enquiries about someone you want to marry and their family.
ReplyDeleteWell said
DeleteThe doctor told you guys what to but till u find marine spirit you won't be pleased
ReplyDeleteAnon please I have been purging since morning. I don't have strength to laugh.
DeleteI am so upset with this, marine spirit? First of all depression is more common than you think. Take her back to a good doctor (psychiatrist ) to help her, probably had a traumatic experience growing up which was left untreated and the stress of having kids plus postnatal depression. If you don't start now it's only going to get worse. Ps there are medications which the doctor (psychiatric) will prescribe. This is more common than you think. I am a pharmacy student in the USA and believe me it is real. THIS IS NOT A PASTOR PROBLEM GO TO THE HOSPITAL!!!!!!!
DeleteI tire!This is not a deliverance matter,the psychiatrist have diagnosed her.She should be admitted into a mental home,before she does the unthinkable!Her children and husband are at risk!!!!
DeleteMy elder sister got depressed after the death of our mother. She was not violet but had sleepless nights and fixed stares. We were managing her situation with medicines from yaba psychiatric and she seemed to be getting back to normal until she stops taking her meds. All the while my other elder siblings were shouting spiritual and we should go to church or traditional. We eventually took her that route and she passed away in less than 6months! My advise to you guys is to take her to the hospital and seek medical assistance, let your prayers/spiritual works be on the side.
ReplyDeleteOh! I'm so sorry anon, this is so emotional. It touched me.
DeleteI can imagine the bond they both shared before your mom's demise which led to her own death in the end. May God comfort your family IJN, Amen
So sorry for your loss.
DeleteThe thing about depression is that people now fling the word around so much that we think it's no big deal.
Depressed people need CONSTANT attention, so poster if the family members can't stay with her all the time,they should be ready to pay the bills of someone who can.
If it has always been a mental issue, they have to decipher what her trigger is and then continue the work from there.
I believe in God and his wonders, but let's learn to face medical issues with medical solutions then back it up with God.
Then don't overlook what your brother might be going through in all of this. You all should be there for him.
Kai am so sorry, was going to type that you only stop the medications on the advice of a doctor
DeleteNigerians and thier stupid belief. Everything run to church. This woman is having mental break down and you think is church? Dont get me wrong, i belive in God and miracles, but there is a reason why God put psych dr on earth. She needs to be on psych medication. Am a psych Nurse so i know what am talkung about.people need to be educated on mental health issues in that country. Its really, really sad.I pray she gets the help she needs
DeleteIt's a medical problem. Take her to a psychiatrist and follow the instructions, she will be admitted in psychiatric hospital for treatment definitely or placed on medication, just make sure she takes her drugs as prescribed without missing it. It's mental sickness that can be managed, though cannot be fully treated medically but medication will always calm her not to exhibit such behavior. Then the onus falls on your brother whether he wants to make it a "for better for worse" life affair! Let her start treatment first then take it from there
ReplyDeletemy family faced a very similar situation, Bro lost his job became very miserable and he didn't inform anybody in the family, he later divorced the woman sha after rigorous effort by family, Although no child is involved, such a marriage was based on deceit and you should just let go.Also let your brother go for deliverance so as to get on his feet, it's not all that easy o but he needs your support and prayers this period.
ReplyDeleteAnyone can come down with a psychiatric disorder. That said there are what is called stressors... In the posters case the stressors was her last child birth.. There something called post partum depression and even psychosis...
DeleteShe should be committed to the system and prayed for by her loved ones..
If the table is turn will you like it when ur brother's wife divorce him cos he is sick, sickness can come in different form, marriage is for better for worse, her sickness was triggered becos she bore a child for the posters brother, this is worse part of marriage,
DeletePoster, that woman is your brother(her husband) responsibility!
ReplyDeleteSorry, that marriage can't be desolved, your brother should take his wife to a qualified psychiatric home with professional doctors.
Your sister in-law sickness didn't just start today, it started a long time ago but it was overlooked by her family and even her husband. What you people have to do now is seek for a good solution.
Thank God her kids are with your mother, they are better of staying with their grandmother for their own safety.
As for your brother, he should man up and stand by his wife who needs him now more than ever. He should not give in to drinking and deep thoughts. He should be on his feet trying to seek for the best medication for his wife.
I pray your family stay together and strong in this trying time and also I declare healing on your sister in-law, may she regained her sanity back.
This sounds like bipolar Depression currently in manic episode. Please refer her to a good psychiatrist.
ReplyDeleteYes she is bipolar but she is showing the signs of post partum depression (psychosis) with time & good treatment it will stop
DeleteShe just might be suffering from post natal depression, or depression caused by certain circumstances her mind can't take in.Unfortunately, our medical institutions are not equipped to treat such cases,instead as expected in our ignorant society, we go to the church for casting out of non existent demonic spirits, or go traditional by tracing some family hear-say madness. Please, she needs support and care. Kindly research, to find out if there are any good qualified psychiatrist who might help, not just any psychiatrist that has just his or her school certificate to show he/she is one. Ekene kwam'm unu.
ReplyDelete"All her family did was"..Smh..She is married to your brother, and she is his responsibility...Why do u want to take her back to her family? Marriage vows says..in sickness, in richness, and in poverty. .till death do us part. If she won lottery now...would u have taken her back to her family..or allow her family members make decisions on how to spend the money?
ReplyDeleteBut if what she said is true about the lady's family knowing and they hid it from him. He was deceived. Please don't ignore that .
DeleteHrtbrtker if she is ur sister will you tell he suitor that she is mentally unstable, well that's the mistake of posters family, if you want to marry check their background very well if not manage anything you see
DeleteThis sounds like bipolar depression currently in manic episode. Please refer her to a good psychiatrist.
ReplyDeleteI love the fact that you still care about her and I can understand why you feel that your brother could be better off(you need him safe). Prayer �� works, it really does! Please take her for deliverance and stay by her during this period(especially for the sake of her kids). I wish you the very best
ReplyDeleteIn the catholic, divorce is accepted as the marriage is based on deceit. I personally feel she should be taken to the hospital and her family must agree stay with her since they hid the truth from your family. Prayers should not stop either.
ReplyDeleteIn the catholic? Show me where it says you can dissolve a marriage based on deceit in bible?
DeleteAnnulment not divorce . Catholic church does not divorce .
Delete@wild rose CATHOLIC church does NOT divorce oo!
DeleteInfact that's d worse place to marry bcos u can NEVER get a DIVORCE!
#proudcatholic
Thanks anon 16:43, the word is annulment. Catholic church can annul a marriage if it was discovered that one of the partners lied before the vows are taken.the church usually gives room to both parties to work it out which could take months to years but nothing seems to be working, then it annulled.
DeleteAbeg swerve.
ReplyDelete1. Are you sure your brother push her to depression?
2. If your brother was the mad one, what would have been your reaction if she left the marriage?
3. Until, we hear from her family before we know the have truths and lies you have injected into the story.
If her family so easily accepted she had been mad before, why didn't they say it at the onset. I don't believe they agreed to that fact. Maybe a jealous extended family member threw in that lie. Take her to a psychiatrist and yes your family must foot the bill cos she is married. Her family can only help if they choose.
If her husband doesn't stand by her at this trying time, then she made a mistake choosing her marriage partner.
15.24, 10 million Naira fall on you this week. Nonsense chronicle. Are they more rivers in Nigeria than the rest of the world? Why is it that everything here is marine spirit, spirit husband/wife? Go and divorce them now. Hope your brother is not the reason she is like his cos you never said she was like this from day 1 of marriage. Hope you guys are not trying to use her for blood money
DeleteHmmm.... Orisirisi!!!
ReplyDeleteI will tell you two stories.
I know of a similar case. In this case the girl had battled mental illness and her folks being medical personnel handled it codedly. So when a young man came along, he wasn't told. They had a wedding and when she took in she started 'displaying'. She wasn't taking her drugs and there was no one to prompt her. When the man's family eventually found out they were pissed at the deception. Not because they won't have loved her but they would have known what they were getting into beforehand and make ensure she stuck to her meds and taken precaution. Esp because for a while she lived with her MiL when hubby went for masters.
Well, the guy took her back to her folks and they are still on the matter. She's given birth though and is on her meds. Hubby visits now and again. On the basis of deception by her family, the husband has the final decision to make.
Then, your Inlaws aren't helping matters. Why are they in denial? An issue is an issue so deal with it. Get medical help, it's not by prayer alone. Why don't they want to stay with her? This issue isn't what one side of the family can solve alone oh. It takes collective effort from everyone else they would overburden the hubby and he will dump her for them.
One of my egbons just found out his wife is mentally ill after almost 20 years of marriage - last year. He called her 3 brothers to the doctor's place. In this case it turns out her family just thought it was an attitude problem. When the doctor gave them the deets, they felt so bad for not noticing on time. This particular one gets worse with age. I say the woman was working for an multinational O&G company is HR and just resigned one day without reason. And she takes irrational decisions like that. Eratic towards the kids and all, breaks at least 3 TVs every year. And would later apologize. Anyway, now that she's been diagnosed her family and even the kids are putting in every effort to help her get better. And that's the way it should be. Let your brother not feel like he's alone. I can drop my egbon's contact through Stella if he needs someone to share experience with. The truth is you would get sad thinking you're alone but you're not. If he loves her they can overcome as long as they have the necessary support. A support group is very necessary at times like this, okay?
This is a very sad love story sha. God strengthen him.
Mental illness is real o. So one will have to be swallowing drugs on a daily for d rest of his or her life be that.
DeleteVery sad situationship.
@Sandy when drugs are taken consistently and they get better they take off and on, because they aren't meant to be placed indefinitely. The drugs also have side effects when taken too long. It's that initial consistency that's usually the issue.
DeleteAll she needs is medical care. The energy and time expended on calling family meetings and church searching would have been used to get her into a good medical facility. You're even in the best environment to provide such.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, why do Nigerians spend so much time and resources chasing spirits???? My Uncle has been dealing with a mental disorder for over 40 years. As long as he takes his pills he is fine. He has 4 children and a job. When he was younger his mum was almost persuaded to take him to these so called prayer houses where they torture these people and play the blame game in the name of healing. She was lucky enough to get good counsel from a relative and he was taken to the hospital. This was over 40 years ago. I don't see any reason why people in modern times with more exposure and education won't do the same. Instead they'd rather blame it on spirits that don't even know their address. Pathetic.
Hmmm.
ReplyDeleteShe mad but your brother loves her
She crazy but your brother still puts his dick inside.
She dangerous but your brother wants help.
Now the question for you my guy is don't corrupt your brothers understanding about marriage because you clearly don't understand the definition of Better/Worst.
If your family is to return her, return her intact: Give her her youth back, slaying body and standing breast without stretch marks back. Give her her 6years life of serving your brother and family back. Take away the memories of carrying three kids or better still also reverse the hands of time back.
Your family this and that, Was is not all of you that went to seek for her hand in marriage? Did you see her deranged then, okay she was before but after one kid did it come back. Postpartum depression is what your family can not manage. Guy just Negodu and don't let me throw you slaps here. Go and watch naija movie Jor!. It's a battle and you all will come out conqueror when it's over, that's what family are all about, leaving her/talking her to her family means you guys were never capable. Stop involving her family so that they won't drag her corps in her final days because you guys ain't capable.
You are so funny...cracked me up
DeleteSounds so much like a story I read on this blog involving an ex minister. She needs psychiatric help and prayers. Be a pillar and family of support so you can all smile at last. But every decision you take should be in conjunction with her family so there is no suspicion of foul play in case the worse happens. All the best.
DeleteChai poor woman . See you thinking of abandoning her cos she's mad . Put yourself in her shoes would you be happy abandoned. Smh . As if money is life.
ReplyDeleteSo basically, the girl's family offloaded their problem on you guys....really sad.
ReplyDeleteHowever, your priority is to your brother and the kids from the marriage as selfish as that sounds.
Your sister-inlaw clearly has mental issues from what i've read, can't rule out PP complicating a previously seemingly controlled mental ish. Managing this for three years, frankly, you guys have tried big time. I can't imagine the financial and emotional drain involved.
I would not recommend the spiritual exercise you are about to undertake here. All that church waka might really complicate things here, there is already a positive history for what she is suffering so don't stress it. Not ruling out the place of God and his wonders but if the resources are available, a good psychiatric hospital will do while you conduct your prayers inside. Work with the knowledge you have before you all end up at a point worse off from the beginning.
However, the very practical thing to do here is to force that girl's family hands into this. They cannot act so non-chalant and allow you guys suffer alone even if they are married. Your brother's health matters even more now at least for the children's sake. Call up a meeting with her family and chart a way forward for her management. You all need to pull resources and time to help out as much as you can. Come to a compromise about what need to be done, 4 other lives are directly affected so her family cannot afford to play the ostrich here. If she dies or more harm occurs, that family will be fast to bare their fangs and claim their daughter, so they better act right here.
Get reasonable elders, kinsmen, people of repute from both sides to get involved and mediate the meeting to avoid bad blood from developing...I'm sure your family is clearly smarting from the deceit as you should be. But now, this is the humane angle.
If you guys try and you reason that her family be insisting on shady dodgy moves....then end the marriage. It is nobody's fault that this is happening, but life must progress. Other people must not be tortured or deprived of living in the sane sense because of a mental problem...brutal but realistic. The economy is not smiling and you guys already have a solid reason to end it if you wish. If her and her family weren't ill exposed, they would have realised that hiding mental problems doesn't make it go away. If she had been on medications or laid the truth out there, it would never reach this point. Take the best decision that is PROTECTIVE for your brother, the kids and your family... No judgement here at all, your effort has been sincere, humane and exhaustive enough.
I pray you get another angle of help from others coz i think i have only fed a conviction here.
Goodluck!
The family dumped her for your brother sincevtyey know her health history. I think your brother need to continue loving her and see how he can be there for her. My former landlord had sam
ReplyDeletesimilar issue like this, the woman go crazy whenever she's pregnant and nursing baby.
U are her Family now so treat her like u would a sister. Have a neighbour whose wife is mentally it post partum disorder. To be frank only a man who genuinely love can take care of a mad wife he always showed up for his wife nd kids now d woman is ok, wen I remember wat d man went through I shudder. God give ur family and bro d strength to overcome
ReplyDeleteThe doctor has said it all, I know it will be difficult but support both your brother and his wife and the outcome would be worth it. Btw please watch the children carefully to see if any would exhibit any strange character.
ReplyDeleteMental illness is like any other ailment. You cannot return her to her family bc of that. Will you all send her packing if it's diabetes, cardiac issues, cancer, malaria, typhoid etc.. ?????? Even if they said there were little episodes of mental disturbances while growing up, I bet you, the family did not see it as anything out of ignorance. People are just talking now bc they are able to connect & justify her other behaviours with what is happening now.
ReplyDeleteShe might have a serious case of bipolar disorder; having those manic
episodes (highs- where she fights, high energy, restlessness, zero tolerance even for things that do not warrant exhibition of anger, screaming, combativeness ) & her depressed state (lows-just sitting there starring, not taking a shower, not doing anything etc). On both extremes, there is a loss of touch with reality, i.e. her perception of reality is displaced, explaining the attacks on her husband etc.
Worst case scenario, there is schizophrenia (the real madness ). These are like any other illnesses; schizophrenia usually runs in the family. Hopefully, prayerfully she is not schizophrenic.
Please, please, please take her to a PSYCH HOSPITAL again. A psychiatrist only should handle her treatment. They will prescribe drugs for her, possibly keep her on lock down (with the husband's consent of course ) for her meds to kick in. Those drugs have to build up in her system over time for it to reach the therapeutic level & have the desired effect of balancing her hormones.
It's going to be difficult, especially if she refuses to take her meds that's why she has to be in that hospital for some time. But you guys have to try. Mental illness is draining especially to the family who are the sole caregivers. Mental illness is real. Ignorantly in Africa it carries a stigma. Like I said, it's just to try, to give the medical community your best shot.
Then family members should go to church and be interceding for her to comply with her treatment, for the doctors to have the right diagnosis and the right combination of medications to treat her mental disturbances, for her to respond positively to treatment in Jesus name, amen.
May the Holy Spirit guide your family, may God give your brother, her husband the fortitude to bear this burden. It too shall come to pass.
Thank you, some people act as if mental illness is something else. Anyone can have it tomorrow even the poster!!! So all this the family hid the history is sad. How do the poster know that it didn't start after she married your brother?
DeleteShe has psychiatric issues. Alongside prayers, She needs help with her mental health. Some people need medication to help them cope with their daily activities and there is nothing wrong with that. Her case has past that of depression. She might be bipolar or schizophrenic. She needs a good antipsychotic medicine. Risperidone, Zyprexa, seroquel are good medicines
ReplyDeleteIt may seem wrong for her family not to have told you guys she was unwell but have you thought of the fact that they may have thought she has been healed. This is why Igbos conduct "iju ase" (Running background checks) before any marriage is contracted but young kids of these days rarely give it a thought. They just keep proposing and accepting proposals upandan.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, your sister in-law is mentally ill and it isn't a death sentence. Once she takes her meds she will be fine. You will be shocked at the number of people that are suffering from various forms of mental illness here in Naija most of them are usually found in churches as seers, prophets, pastors etc, where they "see" and "dream" for people.
I hate to break it to you but also note that most mental illness is hereditary so your brothers kids MAY have traces of their Mum's illness. Take her to Yaba Psychiatric hospital and she will be well taken care of. Marriage is for better or for worse what if this present crises were triggered by childbirth like it happens to a lot of women, would you stil be worried about only your brother? She may be your brother's wife but she's part of you guys family now so please your brother should take care of her and you need to stop complaining of her family not doing anything.
Use to hv one sis-inlaw wayback who was a little insane but not violent, we kind of thought it was a spiritual problem, until she was admitted at yaba, still under medication when she passed away, not easy staying with a mentally insane person, ur broda shld be careful being in the same roof with her, he can send her to her family house, and foot any financial bill to take care of her whether medically or spiritual as her family desires. I pray God heal her completely and also save ur broda from depression
ReplyDeleteMy grandmum had mental illness for up to 50 years. Please I beg you, TAKE HER TO S PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL. My grandmum had 5kids and was a great grand mother before she passed on. Prayers is good while she is on her MEDS too. Taking her to a church to spend days will make her depressed and she will run away. If her people do not want to stay with her in hospital, your family can take turns to do it. My grandmum spent a few months in the hospital before she was discharged on her MEDS. So long as she took Then, she was fine. Mental illness can be managed. TAKE HER TO S PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL unless you people want to loose her.
ReplyDeletePls don't be a moron. Your sister in law is bipolar. Which one is marine spirit and church again? A specialist already told you she has mental issues what other answers do you seek? You also sound like you think you ought to give up on her, pls no. What if she's your sister? It's clear you are the religious type so ask yourself "what would Jesus do? " Talk to her when you feel she's herself take her back to a specialist and love her like a sister, besides, don't we all have some kind of insanity?
ReplyDeleteIt's postpartum psychosis.Your family should take her to a psychiatrist hospital for proper care.You can be praying for her while she's there,I am sure it's the stigma her family is running from,please do the right thing for her for the sake of her kid,if it means employing a help to be with her in the hospital .She might be on drugs for the rest of her life.
ReplyDeleteShe is mentally ill. Take her to a psychiatric hospital. She may be confined until she is calm. I don't think you need anyone to stay with her in the hospital. Your brother should ensure she takes her medications.
ReplyDeleteAs for this una church matter, I no wan put my mouth there.
On the issue of divorce, even though the marriage is based on deceit and can be voided, do not do that. She has children for your brother already. Forgive her and render the help you can. Your family's mercy will bring blessings and testimonies. Please help her the way you can. We all have crosses we carry. Carry this one with love and compassion and see how God works.
She is mentally ill. Take her to a psychiatric hospital. She may be confined until she is calm. I don't think you need anyone to stay with her in the hospital. Your brother should ensure she takes her medications.
ReplyDeleteAs for this una church matter, I no wan put my mouth there.
As for divorce, even though the marriage is based on deceit and can be voided, do not do that. She has children for your brother already. Forgive her and render the help you can. Your family's mercy will bring blessings and testimonies. Please help her the way you can. We all have crosses we carry. Carry this one with love and compassion and see how God works.
Please be watchful of your brothers children because often,it's hereditary.So watch them carefully as they grow.
ReplyDeleteI know of a man who had a near similar situation. No issue involved. He didn't know until the matter turned critical. He took the wife to uselu, on one of his visits, he decided to go through her file that was dropped by the wife's bedside while the doctor was doing his rounds, there he discovered that it wasn't the wife's first nor 2nd even 10th time. He felt duped cos not only had the wife knew of her ailment but it was a family thing going back to great grand mother and sisters as well. He quietly sent her away because he had to think about his kids from a late wife, where one was even a sickler. So my dear let your bro think am well. If he can cope with been with her. At times such people it takes the grace of God to live with them especially where little kids are involved o.
ReplyDeleteIt's a medical problem that needs prayers too. I too was admitted in a psychiatric hospital. I was having hallucinations and thinking that I was the legitimate daughter of God and that Jesus was my legitimate brother. I thought I was the reincarnation of Queen Sheeba and that I would marry the reincarnation of Solomon. I thought I had many powers and that I was the queen of the whole universe. One day I threw almost everything we had in the house and was ready to burn them including my sister's passport. Thank God for the intervention of my cousin who stopped me. They took me to the hospital where they gave me different injections and tablets but none of it worked. When they took me back home I stopped taking the medicines and then I restarted taking it and had another episode. I then stopped taking medicines and told myself that it was all hallucinations and I covered myself in the blood of Jesus. Today I am healthy and a totally different person. I didn't go for any deliverance just prayed for myself. My family doesn't even recognize me and they are all happy. Sometimes these psychiatric problem comes from a traumatic past. I was almost raped and killed when I was a teenager and kept it for myself with time the burden was too much and my mind reacted by creating a better world and image of myself in my mind. A world where I was a queen surrounded by bodyguards and loved and protected by a king. I feel ashamed of the fact that I was once a psychiatric patient but now I know that God spared my life. I could have gone completely insane but being realistic and prayerful helped me. Now I'm healed and even the doctors say that they have never seen such a quick and complete recovery. Let her first visit a psychologist not a psychiatric so that they will know if she has had a traumatic past and then let your brother be caring and loving towards her. Keep the children away from her for the moment and be very prayerful. U didn't explain in details so I don't know what else to say. Wish u the best
ReplyDeleteDear Poster, this is not a spiritual matter but mental. You can take her to a church afetr taking her to a hospital(psychiatric hospital). She might get admitted and be put on drugs that she will have to take for a while or rest of her life depending on her condition. I know someone that has the same condition but she never had it until after she had her 2nd child. She is on meds sometimes she goes off the meds and breaks down. I know it is not easy but as Doppelgänger said "For better for worse, In sickness and in health". Those vows are not for joke. If she was an orphan would you all not support her..so do the best you can. TAKE HER TO A PSYCHIATRIST AND NOT TO A CHURCH PLEASE.
ReplyDeleteThat is why it's essential one does good investigations before marriage. Don't let love cloud your judgement.
ReplyDeleteHer family has been very dishonest, so they knew she had a history of madness and didn't say anything.
This should be a lesson to all, before you marry anyone make sure you do background check on them and their families, this is important to avoid such things.
Hines anything can trigger it, some people giving birth while for others it maybe a traumatic experience. That you are ok today doesn't mean you can't get it tomorrow !!!
DeleteSome women experience this after childbirth. Don't return her to her parents. Take her to omega fire ministries in auchi and she will be fine
ReplyDeleteTake her to a psychiatrist, i was also suffering from something similar but I am fine now as I stick to my medication. I even lost a man that was suppose to marry me due to the illness which was even mild as at then. Thank God I'm fine now.
ReplyDeleteE hug
DeleteThe only thing I can say is this. I know a man that is married to a woman that has 6 children for him.. I really don't know how her madness started but till today she is still insane and she is always on drugs..
ReplyDeleteThe man is a church member and he is still leaving with his wife till now I'm typing his message.. I mean there was a time this woman will come to church and start embarrassing the man, she will be snatching snacks from children and all that,so the man stopped taking her to church.
I mean they are leaving together and the man has never cheated on this woman,i know because we live close to each other..
So I suggest that since your brothers wife's madness is not chronic, he can start giving her drugs to control it.. Please take her to a psychiatrist so he will tell you guys what to do..
If your brother was the one in her shoes, will you be happy if she left him,???
My darling, this is a good story but please don't say never. You stay close together but you don't follow him to work. You hear? Let's just thank God for helping him stick with her.!
DeleteI'm amused you have concluded the man doesn't cheat because you leave near him. A cheater won't come and broadcast their activities for everyone to be aware of. Unless you are a person's shadow you should never vouch for them, very easy to conduct affairs when he goes out or do you follow him around?
DeleteI feel happy with many comments and advice here asking that the woman should be taken to the hospital. Indeed, it shows that Nigerians are gradually getting educated on mental illness.
ReplyDeleteSadly, this is my story. Wife is refusing treatment, her family hid it from me but yes, I can't simply divorce her. Not because of any marital oath but simply because taking care of her is the right thing to do. The tragedy is that those taking care of the sick person are at the risk of losing themselves, I got help on time, so I am still coping some bit. It has altered everything I know about life and I am unhappy most times.
Please continue to support your brother to care for his wife. Stay close to him so he can also take care of the kids, he must find recreation and go on holidays at least once a year. He must focus on himself a lot otherwise he can't help his wife a bit.
He should forget his in-laws and not bother with them at all, otherwise he will be bitter and angry the more. He needs only positive thoughts all the time.
Not an easy journey but he will be good once the wife accept treatment and stays on prescribed drugs at all times. It is not a death sentence, nobody would know anything is wrong at the end of the day.
I wish your brother God's grace and mercy.
Aww..if all men where like u
DeleteIt is well
The last Child is with her and the husband. I advised your brother to take her to Neuropsychiatric hospital Abk which he did but the woman refused to take her drugs. Her relative her wicked they did not bother to ask about her the other children are with the husband mother. We don't find it easy in the compound anything she has crises.
ReplyDeleteAm not understanding this Anon 16:58,seems he/she is sleep typing.smh#wake up oo,you have murdered English.
DeletePoste.....I pity the situation your brother is going through. But why do you people have to wait for 3 whole years before discovering that she has mental issues before.
ReplyDeletePsychiatric hospital is the best solution for her . And nobody need to stay with her there after all the money for treatment has been settled.......
There's no need to divorce her in her situation now as she's not of sound mind....and all this church deliverance stuff is just time wasting cause that's not the solution to her problem.....
May God see your brother through this period
#You're gonna make it through this. It might be difficult, but just know, you're gonna get through this*
ReplyDeleteYes I will oh. Thank you So. Frankool 👍👊
DeletePeople suffer worse diseases like cancer, spend lots of money on chemotherapy and most times, die even after all the money spent. One of my colleagues died of cancer, aged 38, left four kids. Now which woman will marry a man with 4 little kids?
ReplyDeleteHave you see people that suffered stroke with the consequent paralysis of one side of the body? They are still people's spouses.
A man I saw in church the other day had one full arm chopped off from the shoulder!
My point? Mental illness is not the worst illness on earth. My inlaw died of prostrate cancer, left 2 little kids. So your brother should thank God that she's still alive. If she's violent, take her to a psychiatric hospital so that they can calm her down with anti-psychotic medications. If she's not violent, call a psychiatric doctor to see her at home and you pay for his home service. Bad luck happens to everyone at one point or the other in life. She will be fine. Also Pray for her. From my experience, most psychiatric illnesses are spiritually induced. Forget what a probably jealous person said about her past.
Join hands with your brother and treat his wife. What if it was your brother? Will she return him back to you people and divorce him? Look for solutions and not blames. God help you
ReplyDeleteWhy is African Christianity different from this one in Yankee?
ReplyDeleteWe have been given knowledge and if properly appropriated things would not be this complicated.
This issue I believe started from her family covering up her illness and never getting help from the right channel. She should have been taken to a psych facility and properly taken care of instead of all these church journeys!
All this manifestations is not under her control and it's the responsibility of the entire family, hers and yours , to take her to the right place for treatment.
This is not a chronicle please, it's merely the African religious ambuiguity that we have topped ourselves.
Take her to Liberation City Church. Google the details online, depending on your location. You can call the numbers for their branches.
ReplyDeleteThere won't be need to stay over. Nkmama
Poster since is not a normal thing, no body will even wish their enemies madness, please you guys should not leave her alone she needs you all. I think your brother's wife is not able to even tell what is wrong with her. You guys should look for help but if her family refuse to assist this time around you people should return her back and desolve the marriage.
ReplyDeleteAwwwww! Sweetheart, I can't even pretend to know how you and your family feel about this unfortunate event. I totally understand why you'll be selfish about this. It's a natural reaction to want to protect your brother even at the detriment of his wife, but that's why we are here. We need to open up your conscience to expose your bias, I'm sure you know once bias creeps in, rational and objective reasoning take flight.
ReplyDelete
The express or implied matrimonial vow is "for better for worse, for richer or poorer, in SICKNESS or in health..." no? According to you, your brother loves her, love requires sacrifice. I smiled when I read how you tried to rationalise a divorce since the marriage was based on deceit. True, in law, concealing any serious illness like impotence, venereal disease(s) or mental illness, etc, is one of the grounds for the dissolution of a marriage. However, if the partner seeking the dissolution had acquiesced or condoned in any way, he or she can no longer stand on the ground of fraud or deceit to ask for the dissolution of that marriage.
Your brother has been married to her for 6 years and the union has produced 3 adorable angels. You, yourself admitted that she has displayed some erratic behaviours but you guys assumed it was merely a character flaw. Living with a lady prone to violent outbursts, who has even threatened to kill your brother, yet he remained married to her. That's condoning, in law.Remaining married for 6 years in spite of the aforementioned issue, is called acquiescence in law. If your brother wants a divorce, he has to cite another ground, e.g adultery, desertion etc.
Honey, she needs medical attention as well as divine intervention. Mental health issues like schizophrenia, bipolar disorder, manic depression et al, can be managed with medication and counselling. It's sad how people react to mental illness out of ignorance, the patients need love and patience, not ostracism. She's the mother of your nieces/nephews and a wife to your brother. According to you, she has been a good wife loved by your family. You guys cannot kick her out at her most vulnerable state when she needs your help the most, she's family after all.
Your family should get her institutionalised where she will be properly cared for and treated. She shouldn't be left with your brother and the kids because she's volatile in her present state and can even harm her own kids because she isn't in her right mind. With proper medication, mentally ill individuals can live a relatively normal life. I wish you guys the best.
#e-bearhugs.
Omasiri take lomotil
ReplyDeletemy 2 cent is coming late but o well, from experience Please take her to a doctor preferably yaba or Aro psychiatrist hospital for proper diagnosis and get drugs. She will be fine. She is family and people should not run from her. Abeg which one be church again. You can pray for her but please please take her for professional help and counselling
ReplyDeleteShe is bipolar. What she need is psychological diagnoses. And to be put on antidepressant not to church for deliverance. The woman has chemical imbalance in her brain.
ReplyDeleteSad but very real. Mental illness is on the serious rise. She needs to be taken to hospital and given the proper diagnosis in order to get the proper treatment. Please take immediate action before it scales way out of control. Unfortunately, Black people do not take mental illness as serious as we should.
ReplyDelete