Hmmmm!!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TO STAY OR WALK AWAY
Pls hide my identity.
Let me go straight to the point .Am a married woman with a son and my husband stays in Canada.
My husband is very hot tempered and he talks anyhow most times when he is angry of which he doesn't like to say sorry.
he believes he is a man and what he says should stand. But he is very caring and he takes care of us and he is not stingy .
And again his family are the nicest people I have ever seen they love me like their own .But over time due to some of our quarrels I have really lost LOST MY FEELINGS for him.
I do not love him as I used to and I feel I should just leave him, he is talking about our relocation but i am confused. We had some argument yesterday and he said IF I FEEL I AM TIRED I SHOULD WALK AWAY.
Please Stella and my fellow bvs I want you all to advice me like a sister. I don't want to make a mistake in life ,i am in my mid twenties and very attractive and lonely too.
The pressure I get from men is too much and my husband is too rigid, I feel I should just walk away but i am confused. People say i am trying for being his wife cos his hot temper is too much. Please should i walk away or stay .
I need advice bikonu urgently. Thanks everyone .
*A man with a hot temper like you describe is bad news cos it may escalate when you both start living together,so think twice if you are ready to manage the situation or if you are under pressure to love someone else cos you sound so in a way....and you are confused as well.
If you do not love him anymore and you have discussed it and he says you should walk away if that is the case then WALK AWAY.......
If you haven't discussed it with him,look for away to do so and see if he will try to win your love back.
Good luck in trying but please don't go making more babies in a loveless situation cos it gets worse....
I don't know how long you've both been married.. He's never hit you and I'm 100% positive you didn't discover his hot temper after you had your son. You didn't mention him cheating on u, but u want to leave him cos of a trait you've always been aware of before marriage... I don't think that's d reason u want to leave. Personally, I think it's cos you're lonely cos of his absence. And like you said yourself, men have been coming at u.. You probably like one of them, that is if you haven't cheated already. I think you have your mind made up, you're only looking for support here.. But remember, there will always be consequences for our actions...
ReplyDeleteThose that had sex through courtship and married because "he stays abroad"
DeleteNo time spent in knowing the man's character or it was simply ignored.
All those attracting you from outside will dump you once they have succeeded in scattering your home.
U are soooo correct!! That was what came to my mind straight!!
Delete"Daddy-daddy" you nailed it. I just pray I don't find myself in this kind of thing later Lord Jesus.
DeleteMy dear take this advice from somewhere who's been there. Everyone has a fault. U have urs this is his. My hubby used to be very hot tempered... but in the midst of it all I know he lov3d me dearly it was something he just couldn't help at the time. Later he told me how much he regretted his outburst after it all but as u know men and their pride it was difficult for him to come and say he was sorry especially if I did something very annoying to have made him burst out. But I discussed it with him and told him how it hurt my feelings and made me shrink away from him emotionally everything. Most importantly I took it to God in prayers. He prayed over it too. He knew it was something beyond him and only the holyspirit could help him... as the months went by I started seeing a new man; more loving More patient and more toleratant... God never gives us refined gold in a partner rather He gives it to us a the raw form. Reminds me of beauty and the beast. It's up to us to patiently love and bring out the best in them or "WALKAWAY" like u plan on doing and miss out on all the wonderful things that would have been. Looking at the man am married to today am glad I helped him deal with his "demons"... love conquers all. As long as he isn't cheating on u or abusing u physically or otherwise...pls stay n work things out.
DeleteMadam I think u are thinking of walking bcx of d guys eyeing u
DeleteMadam, nothing de outside o. Maybe when u guys start living together,that love can grow again.
Remove eye frm outside n focus on ur home
Has he ever beaten u?
Does he destroy things wen u guys are arguing?
Pls focus on ur husband and remove eye frm small small boys looking for another man's wife if not u will end up living a frustrated life full of regrets
Poster is just looking for an excuse to walk away, those men you attracted to will only fuck you and go. Na ur beauty dey push you abi, you will regret it later wen about 4 men used you and dump you. Where is all dis hot temper act wen youu have ur first child? Meanwhile, having a bad spouse plus good inlaws is better than having good spouse plus bad inlaws and fortunately for you, you've got a good inlawa but you ladies won't get it right until ur beauty fades away
DeleteIt's possible the poster has found affection elsewhere, but why would a man tell his WIFE to go if you want to?
DeleteMy husband has said this on numerous occasions and I have lost respect and love don waka. I feel immature men talk this way. Nonsense.
Poster I think marriage is for better for worse and you should nit throw away what you have yet.
DeleteIn this situation you have to consider a few things.
1 you are both living apart: distance confuses things and makes people grow apart. It takes a lot of discipline to manage a distant relationship. That means that yoy people are not operating on a normal playing field. Every little thing is warped and uncertain.
2. You have a Child together. It is worth it to give your marriage a try to preserve that family unit. Don't walk away now when things are not natural. consider the pressure distance is putting on you both.
His temper is not a death sentence (as long as he is not violent towards you). You should both work together and learn to manage it. As his right hand and helper you should suggest exercises to practice like counting 1-10 when he is getting upset. Walking out of the room during an argument. It also means you need to learn how not to incite him and what his triggers are. You will not be able to communicate with him like every other wife so font be listening ti other married people or friends. you must learn how to handle a man with a temper. Its 2017, There is research out there, online forums you can join to get tips and advice, groups in canada he can even join self.
Nor be today men and women started marrying spouses with hot temper.
In terms of apology after fight that's something you should train him to do. That's left for pillow talk and bottom power. Appeal to his soft spot after a fight.
Finally ask yourself am I leaving because if his temper oR their is someone out there I like??? Remember the grass is greener where you water it.
Poster the only thing I understand from your write up is that your side boo is brain washing you. You have searched and searched only to come up with a silly excuse of "hot tempered".. What do you always do to him that makes him upset? The man you described up there with his family can't be that bad. Just tell us you want to try new dick and stop talking about hot tempered as an excuse to satisfy your abuna.
ReplyDeleteNonsense Chronicle.
Real talk Chike... She's only looking for an excuse to go on a fucking spree... Please poster, ensure he gets his son and go enjoy the randy life you want.., your excuse is dumbest shit I ever heard.., imagine, hot temper.. *hiss smh. Women sha
DeleteU couldn't have said it better!! I am a woman oo... Before pple say men think in same direction...
DeleteAny man who is willing to let you walk away without trying to adjust to your complains isnt worth a huge sacrifice as relocating to another area code. Hes able to get you depressed, even with the ocean inbetween, image how fucked ur life will be under one roof, even wen u fart & it smells, that will be a prblem.... so heres wat i think u should do, tell him ure done and pulling off the plug, then watch his reaction a few days later.
ReplyDeleteHmm, I understand ur view point @atheist, however, I do not think marriage should be toyed with in that manner. Those games can be played during courtship not marriage. Which makes me want to ask the poster, are you FULLY married to this man? Not just one cut and join marriage, but married in church or court? Because I fail to understand the ease with which you are willing to consider leaving the marriage. If your complain is about the temper and the way he talks to you, I think both of you can make efforts to manage situations before they get to the boiling point. He has not laid a finger on you and there is no evidence that he will do so if you relocate. Please, so long as he has not gotten physical with you, manage the situation, marriage is a bed of roses and thorns. You can't just take off at the first sign of a challenge, or don't you understand what it means to be committed to someone? It means being with someone in spite of their imperfections. I know u ain't perfect either
DeleteDo you know how many times the man has tried before now?
DeleteThe poster's hubby saw through her and was able to read all the signs of her discontentment in the marriage, hence the "walk away talk". The poster isn't matured for marriage yet. If I were her hubby I would do thesame too. No time to the beg anybody
DeleteThat's his flaws and it's a dangerous one coz if you Guys start living together it myt get worse.. I will advice you to put in drama(act) like you are really angry and fed up with his ways, act like your truly walking away to see if he will fyt for you.. if he really cares, you can let him see your reasons! coz sometimes it takes taking bold steps to make men realize they are not god.. put in some real acting woman, all the best.
ReplyDeleteWhat efforts have you made to help his situation? He probably needs counseling. Since his anger is the only problem, my dear go on your kneels and pray about it, as well as seeking help for him. The good qualities you listed up there are rare to find.
ReplyDeleteAlso look at what you are doing that triggers his temper. May be you need to slow down on certain things, or may be you need to avoid arguing or some other things you need to avoid. DO NOT WALK AWAY.
Remember, the grass is always green in the other side.
My 2 cents
I don't know why some ladies like this poster, once a new guy brain wash them they will come up with only silly excuse to back up their flirting lifestyle.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure if your husband tell his own story it will be a different thing.
Biko nwoke m find another lie biko because I don't even believe an alphabet in your write up.
Rubbish.
Wow! I have nothing to add to Stella's advice because she nailed it. You are the one wearing the shoe, so you alone knows exactly where it pinches you. But don't use because of another man to leave your husband because believe me if you do that, that man may still leave you too.
ReplyDeleteLet me read comments too as I am engaged to a man with similar traits.
ReplyDeleteHope tempered,it's either his way or no way and never says sorry. Arguement can begin from not picking his calls on time,not talking to him properly. But he has never been violence to me 5yrs we have been together.
My sister says I shld just do things his way and not argue back. When I do that he is the best of lovers,no fight at all. He is so loving.
He genuinely loves me,generous to a fault and ready to help with anything I require,fun to be with etc.
He proposed and I said yes,introduction is soon.
But I am abit scared if I can manage this anger forever. Till when will I keep doing things his way and never talking back. When I'm not a robot.
you alone knw if u can stomach that bossy shit all ur life, uve smiled and acted like a zombie for 5yrs, can u keep going?
DeleteNa person go marry someone with such traits last last
DeleteSo since you've accepted him already...carry go
Just make sure you don't come back crying
Talk to him..... let him know you are not happy.
ReplyDeleteMen are like that. I mean domineering but as his wife you have the key. Except he does not love you.
Let me cite an example for you. My hubby can be hot tempered when driving. I mean it's one fight after another. I was used to interfering before until I learnt how to deal with the issue. Keep quiet and talk when he's calm and most times he feels bad. To seal it, I coined a scary story last week about how someone who fought while driving was attacked at home in ikorodu. He was scared! Now when he drives and is about to get angry he looks at me smile and say.... You see that one😂😂😂.
My kind of woman! Hi five joor. Poster, work it out, it's possible.
DeleteA bird in the hands is worth more than a million in the bush. - OLD SCHOOL,
A bird in the hand is the VERY BIRD. NOTHING dey bush. NEW SCHOOL
You already have a kid, just work things out.
My dear the devil u know is better than the angel u don't know. U hv known him before u married him sorry to say this at ur mid twenties I guess u accepted him becos of his wealth forgetting he is hot tempered now maybe young chaps are all over u,now u now notice is weakness. Poster finish wat u started by loving him for who he is.
ReplyDeleteIt is really frustrating to live the way you live right now.
ReplyDeleteSadly your story offered no glimmer of hope.
There is no way one person can be making all the effort to keep a marriage. Frankly, i'm not about him having remorse or not. I am concerned, he recognizes the presence of a problem but somehow refuse to see himself as part of it or humble himself to seek a solution with you.
That means he is not ready to change or make any adjustment.
Taking care of the family, nice inlaws, probably zero cheating might not be an issue especially for ultra settling and enabling wives but your emotional health is really at stake.
This relocation you talk about, is it back to Nigeria?
Coz if he is messing up in Canada like this, expect a proper demon when he comes back here. Even the nice inlaws you will lose by the time he orchestrates bad wife scenarios and calls meeting and, takes advantage of the sickening overwhelming male priviledge here. That question he posed to you is a sneak peek/expo of his grand plans soon for you. Say yes by staying back and you lose your chance. Take a break, get settled, build yourself, live and enjoy your life for you. Then maybe his brain and ego may reset or you both move to some other people or most importantly, you get to live for real and have your son have a complete strong mom who will show motherly love not spousal one and groom him to be a real man.
May God help you.
I see you only married him because of his generosity. Use the money to console yourself since even tho you saw the signs you didn't take caution. His type needs someone like them that can retaliate and make him cool down. But you're not like that please and not try be what you're not. Tell him all what you feel. Tell him exactly how you feel. If he's really remorseful and battling to change, aid him by not nagging and talking back. But if he's too proud, most and a misogynist at that, then I'm sorry.
ReplyDeletePls walk away while you are still alive. Your husband is a pure choleric.
ReplyDeleteHave you had a sit down talk with him about this anger issue ?
ReplyDeleteI won't advice you leave just like that without working towards the marriage. Marriage is hard work made even harder by a spouse with anger issue. But I won't preach divorce just yet with a child involved.
Go to Canada and see how it goes,he may be lonely there are taking the anger on you.
As Stella said pls tie your legs and don't get pregnant. Every man has a soft spot capitalize on that. Try to avoid arguements and ignore him when it starts, pray, get someone he respects to council him.
If after doing all this, this man doesn't change. Then you can think of divorce.
But try and work it out first. Being a single mum ain't easy. This men asking you out, will they marry you with a child. Just think twice.
Madam you are already cheating with one of the guys coming around ,he will brain wash you to leave your marriage next he will move to a single lady ready to marry not that your hubby beats u ,he takes care of you his family are nice made be careful sha u dey form attractive come let my sister coach after that her been attractive the guy milked her dry now she doesn't look attractive but so destructive I don talk my own
ReplyDeleteYou probably married because "he is abroad".
ReplyDeleteDid you not date this man; was there no courtship?
Did you not see the "anger//hot temper issues?"
Looks like you have found another person and think you are attractive?
It is not always greener on the other side?
Again, how about your child?
How do you provoke him or he gets angry without cause?
Have you looked inwards too?
Stella your opinion on this is so wrong cos the lady didn't state anything about dv, hot tempered people needs to settle down with quiet peeps ! Did you ask her if she nag or talks back wen they are having issues? I am hot tempered naturally in fact don't even come close to me wen my mood swings comes up but my husband understand me and knows how to manage my hot tempered issues, I can get mad over little issue and destroy things, if u dare talks back or challenge me then it's finish but ever since I got married things aren't same again, growing up my parents was so scared and believe no man will love to marry or stay with me because I fight like a man but the God of wonders did it and blesses me with a man that understand me, he knows how to deal with me though my hanger doesn't last up to 10minutes ....... madam if u leave him today without helping him out then someone better will settle down with him and manage his temper issues except he hit u if not i don't see any pro here.... not every time walk away walkway 😎
ReplyDeletePls tell them o. Looks like some people have a ready made "walk away" template. The same people will come back to name shame you, divorcee, single mother etc
Delete@Ageless T kwakwakwa @name shame. Leave this poster. Women who can't make up their mind on how to live life. If the man is hot tempered you find a way to send your message across to him. I will say and say again many 'wives' have no idea what marriage is all about - especially the young ones. Youre even admitting that men are looking at you. As those men are 'angels' that are perfect now abi? You try... As chike said just say you wan port abeg.
Delete@chikito,
Delete"I will say and say again many 'wives' have no idea what marriage is all about - especially the young ones."
GBAM!!!
For starters, poster you are only asking this question cos you had a fight yesterday.it isn't always the beSt to take decision when you are angry.
ReplyDeleteSomething may have provoked his utterances, perhaps you have been throwing it at his face that other men admire you.
Calm down and take stock before you make a mistake.
This is a painful situation.
ReplyDeleteHas this man always been like this with you?
Do you still love this man & do you want things to change for good between you both?Its a critical situation & I believe if you both courted you already know these things,I feel you can manager the attitude thing.
I suggest you talk real well with him abt this,after the talk if u still feel like going over to continue your life with him in Canada then go.
Truly don't do what you will regret later. If this man has tried violence on you then don't even bother working things out. Nawa maybe his hot attitude made u fall out of love,in the end if you are already too irritated abt this whole thing & u can erase every iota of doubt from your mind concerning your decision to leave then quickly leave for your peace.
Poster seems you've found love here in Nigeria. You've found someone deceiving you and probably behaving like an angel. If you like divorce your husband because of that man here in Nigeria. I hope you just won't live to regret it.mtcheew
ReplyDeleteDon't worry. Go and join him in Canada. He dares not beat you or abuse you anyhow over there as a woman you have the laws on your side. But your Husband can't be that bad they way you've described him and his family. Maybe you are the one looking for an excuse to walk away because you have many admirers.
ReplyDeleteSome of you really think marriage is a bed of roses .. You don't have feelings for him and so? You think it's all the time you have feelings for your husband? You think it's all the time you will feel those butterflies in your tummy? It doesn't work that way. I have been married for long and I know I don't love my husband everyday of the month but the days I love him, I really do. He can get on my last nerve but has that made me left?? Nope, because I love him and he loves me. We both get on each other's nerve. I'm sure I get the fuck on his nerves every damn time. Because I'm the hot tempered one. I'm the one that says the nasty things when I'm angry. I'm the one that takes rash decisions but has he left me? No he hasn't. He's trying to work around my hot temperedness, not like I'm proud to be that way. Marriage is work and effort. Those people you see celebrating 50yrs didn't have it easy. That's why the saying love is not enough comes to play. Because sometimes, you will not love your man, but the friendship and understanding you both have will see you thru. Some people will ask you to leave and walk away, yet they are the ones taking the trash in their homes and gulping it down with a dry bottle of gin. My friend, if that is his only flaw, work around it. It's possible for him to tell you to walk away in the fit of anger. Especially when you must have told him you will leave a countless times. You didn't include that but I know you threathen him with the ill leave part all the time probably because you feel you are young, In your 20s and beautiful. Lmao. I'm sure one man is some where twisting your mind and you think when you finally leave you would have met the angel prepared for you by God himself. I laugh in my native tongue. Don't be stupid. Be wise. Build your home. Learn the act of understanding, tolerance and communication.
ReplyDeleteWisdom is profitable to direct
BEST ADVICE! pls take it
Delete👍👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteThank u my darling, I already drop my comments on this post anonymously but i don't think Stella will post it. I always say it here that love ain't enough wen married! There are times u fall out of love NOT everyday lovely dovey, there are times you just want to be all alone , there are times the feelings goes from 100% to 0 level till you regain your senses but it's easy for single ladies to always say move out move out, each and everyone has their own flaws DO U Know wat the other guy have in stock for u ? marriage no be beans, me too I am the hot tempered one but my husband knows how to manage my moods ! WHY haven't he left since 16 years of being together? I don do this my lovely husband sotey he nicknamed me soldier, whenever I am angry he keeps quiet and wen am done he will ask if my madness is over. Draw me closer and quietly give me the explanation I want MY pro is that I react and get mad too fast without giving a listening ear , in fact I too dey over react . But happily for me I ain't married to a man like this lady up there ( thank u Jesus.
DeleteDearie 1 million like for this you comment
Delete👏👏👏👏
Deletebest comment so far. go for it poster.
DeleteOooooooh! You too nailed it Babes.
DeleteMscheew! I don't know why you're talking too much. Please let her leave and come under anonymous to say how life has been so unfair to her. You think there's a perfect being out there? Please move out and see
DeleteYou can join him there because that place is not like Nigeria, you and your child will also have a good life there. Also, you will study what triggers his anger and avoid it.
ReplyDeleteIf I were in your shoes, I wouldn't mind turning to a mumu for him as long as I'm not in this messed up country anymore. I would go there and turn to ode for him to avoid fights instead of remaining in this Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteAhahahah....this country reach true true
DeletePoster.....I don't get what you mean by hot temper from someone that's more than 1000 kilometres away from you. I don't gerrit? ?
ReplyDeleteSee it easily detectable from your chronicle that you have a man on the side already......that's the reason you're confused. If you got married and also birth a baby for him, is it now his hot temper has become an issue.
Better not make the mistake you will live to regret later in life because the devil you know is better than the angel you don't know. The new man in your life, do you know whether he's the'I don't care ' type . Why are you two even arguing or maybe he's already hearing rumours of your romance with someone else. No man will hear that and not make an issue of it.
So talk with him heart to heart and see if the chemistry is still there. I will never advice that you leave the father of your child and move on to someone else at your age......
My husband is hot tempered too and can keep malice for Africa .He believes a man is the beginning and the end and do not argue or talk back at him.Respect everything he says .He can insult ur life and everything about if he is angry .
ReplyDeleteWe quarrel and argue about everything .Every week their must be fight (not physical ). I no longer Inlove and I try to fake it .Told him how I feel and he says he will fight for our love ,but it didn't last for a week.I feel like walking away ,I do not have the courage .We both have amazing jobs but I feel nothing for him for all the issues and all the nagging he does.
Pls single ladies
ReplyDeleteDon't marry a man who is not educated or has a learned skill no matter how polished he looks and speaks.
That is my situation right now. I married a man who has only secondary education, no any other extra skills. He does different odd jobs like driver, okada rider, security etc. The bulk of the home expenses falls on me as I work and earn well. We are seriously managing. Now his frustration and insecurity is rbbuing off on me, he is always nagging and complaining, quarelling almost everyday. He will be threatening to leave the marriage, I told him I don't care. Now he is saying he will show me, he will do a wicked thing to me that I will never forget before he leaves me. This is a man that I foot almost all the wedding bills. All our major expenses like houserent, childbirth, etc, I foot like 80percent or all the bills. He is the one now threatening me. Life. And I was not desperate o, I was 26 when we started planning our marriage, working and doing well. I married him because he was very loving and caring, also he was not violent and doesn't womanise up till now. Now see my life. My people warned me not to marry a man who does not have a tangible means of livelihood but I covered him up and married.
I have told him that if he wants to go, he should go peacefully and let me be, if he wants to take his child, let him take. I don't want to die young.
And this is a chronicle. It's really deep.I pray he doesn't injure you physically or spiritually. He is truly frustrated
DeleteI just had to drop a comment because of you. Go to the nearest police station and report him. Get him to sign an undertaken. That means if anything happens to you, he will answer for it. After that, pick up your vuvuzela and let people know that your life and safety is under threat. Madam, this is a very serious matter. If you like go silent like a typical Nigerian woman. You're the one who will lose at the end.
DeleteI wish you luck!
👀👀 shebi when they were talking you didnt hear? Anyway good luck and give us feedback. Take PLs advice though
DeleteRelocate, get ur papers and walk away.
ReplyDeleteExactly her papers is important
DeleteDear Poster
ReplyDeleteI think the only reason you are sending this chronicle is because there is another guy somewhere that you have developed something for. You said it yourself "The pressure from men is too much"
My point exactly; focus on your marriage!
Poster I feel your pains. Pls your happiness, sanity and peace of mind supercedes 'the abroad'.
ReplyDeletePoster I feel your pains. Pls your happiness, sanity and peace of mind supercedes 'the abroad'.
ReplyDeleteThey say you you marry bad boy but can't marry bad inlaw . As a married woman , can tell you that every marriage have issue , maybe that is one of your . Sweetheart you want easy marriage devoid of stress? This man you mentioned did nothing bad and I believe will be every women dream to marry a man you described. So ask your mother , was your father a perfect man? Believe me it will be your bestie that will take your position after you have messed about .
ReplyDeleteMen abroad can't afford to be brutal to their wife otherwise they end up in jail .
I really think you have not sacrificed time to know this man neither have gone on your kneel to pray for this man . Honestly I can not see any problem at all , is just that your mind is somewhere.
Do you ever understand how frustrating it is to be separated in marriage , it shows more in men's behaviour , may be that is what your husband is experiencing . Obviously you are also feeling lonely as a result of distance, that is why you are feeling like this .You better seek good advice from your mother
Poster, listen to me carefully, DO NOT Leave Your husband... Pray and learn how to manage him. My husband was once like this, but now he is better . When he is angry, I free him till he is OK, then I discuss with him and we settle, he won't say sorry o but I might just receive alert and he will start acting nice, as if nothing happened.
ReplyDeleteAll men should come and learn from your hubby biko. Annoy me and let me get alert. In fact na everyday I will be getting on your nerves.
DeleteAlert can make you laugh even at funeral. Lol..
May our phones be full of credit alert, Amen!
@ Poster, what you just described for us is 70% of Nigerian men asides the temper.
ReplyDeleteMy Dear, go and join him in Canada and have a talk with him about his temper, fortunately the LAW woks there so he dare not raise a finger on you.
Ensure you find a way to keep yourself busy, you are still very young. If his temper gets to a point where you have to call it quits then you would have at least achieved something in "the broad" be it education or work or Pali.
Just make sure you don't loose out, one more thing, do not get pregnant again till he deals with his temper.
On the flip side, if he changes after your talk with him, find a way to love him again like you did earlier in the relationship.
No one is perfect.
Best of luck
I'm also in a loveless marriage becauise of my man's nagging and cussing. Always saying I'm badluck, I won't amount to anything without him blablabla. To think we were so in love before marriage and after marriage. His dwindling financial status have turned him to something else. The more he nags everyday the less love I feel for him, now I don't even care about him anymore. I don't want to leave the marriage first because I don't have tangible reasons to give to people, if he decides to leave like he says sometime, I won't even beg. I will be at peace at last. Nothing beats peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteAll a man needs is his respect while a woman is to be loved. With what you said it shows he loves you and am you have to give him is respect, let it be his ways but always try to tell him calmly that it's not good for him to have his ways all the time. His being hot tempered and telling you that you can leave doesn't mean he meant it, could be that he's frustrated that you are far from each other, it happens sometimes. Just chill and relocate with him first and be sure you give him all the respect he deserves. If he doesn't change just tell him you need space (separation) not divorce. Divorce is the last thing any sane woman with a child should think unless you are bn hit by your hubby. No man is perfect, if you leave him the next person you are going to marry will still not be perfect. My hubby is hot tempered but his not a violent person, I know how to make him weak and that's what you should possess as a woman. All men have a button you need to press and you will see him dancing to your tune. RESPECT is for the man and you are to be LOVED. you can only fight back when you are not getting you love.
ReplyDeleteHmmmm.......
ReplyDeleteI know this poster,the guy isn't in Canada but china.baby he is done with u so move on.u didn't state all u have been doing to him,u didn't tell us how selfish you have been.u didn't tell us how foolishly u have been acting.wicked girl,move on cos K is done with u.
ReplyDeleteThe way people say i have lost my feelings in marriage make me wonder sometimes, Love is not suppose to be something you choose to feel and unfeel, even my own blood family i dont feel lik i love them all the time but im not going anywher, because deep down i love them, no matter the kind of fight we have, talk more of a man i didnt grow up with, who has a different upbringing than i do, i tell people that marriages crash alot these days because people no longer tolerate each other, im sure this isnt a character that developed over night, and i didnt see anywhere in the write up that he hit you before, why not work around it, and call him on a lighter mood and explain how u dont like it and really go down on your knees and pray, or you think the next guy will be a saint specially created for you? My dear better remove every distraction you have around you and focus on working on your marriage, the guy is trying to bring you over because he loves you, if he didnt he will just keep sending money and find himself a woman, i beg you dont walk away on something that simple communication would have sorted out.
ReplyDeletePoster, you can't fool us. There are lots of learned and experienced people on this blog.
ReplyDeleteI put it to you that you are just looking for someone to concur with the foolish and senseless act you are about to commit.
From your write up, it is obvious your head is spinning around because of men you are giving attention while your husband is away fending for you and his family. Shame!
How would a man not get angry when it shows your attentions is elsewhere.
Please spare us and do whats on your mind. How do we know if you're not already sleeping around with one or more people?
I advise you to humble yourself and have a decent discussion with your husband and salvage what is left of your marriage before it becomes an issue.
I just don't understand how these days ya'll are so eager to end marriages. But in your own case its obvious you are dick-driven