STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
WHEN HUBBY WANTS A FOOTBALL TEAM
Hi Stella,i'm going to go straight to the point,because my post is very straightforward,thanks.
I got married to a man that LOVES kids!
To my story..we are blessed with 3 kids,left to me they are more than enough,i didn't even know I would have 3 kids,planned on just one or two..but my man isn't okay,he keeps talking about more kids and i'm like "WHAT"????. So as not to make him feel bad,i just smile, but in my mind,i have rejected it a thousand times over.
He goes into a foul mood when he sees the disapproval in my attitude concerning more kids.This is the 20th century abeg,he's an amazing dad and husband,provides for us,i don't spend a dime for the home from my personal cash,he does all without complaint,he bathes the kids,cleans them up,even if they mess up themselves with poop,he doesn't call my attention to it,does it himself,cooks,feeds them,hardly sleeps in our room,but with his boys,even when he does sleep,always going to checkup on them every second,when he travels my kids wake up at night shouting DADDY,i'll be like i'm here,they'll say no I want daddy to take me pee.
I just need the opinion of my fellow bvs,how to make my man see reasons with me,and be okay with our lovely boys,yes,we don't have a girl yet,but I love them all the same and contented..
Thanks
Hi Stella,i'm going to go straight to the point,because my post is very straightforward,thanks.
I got married to a man that LOVES kids!
Infact the day I met him,he was carrying a family's friend child..i saw the way the baby connected to him,and it made me see him a a different light.
To my story..we are blessed with 3 kids,left to me they are more than enough,i didn't even know I would have 3 kids,planned on just one or two..but my man isn't okay,he keeps talking about more kids and i'm like "WHAT"????. So as not to make him feel bad,i just smile, but in my mind,i have rejected it a thousand times over.
He goes into a foul mood when he sees the disapproval in my attitude concerning more kids.This is the 20th century abeg,he's an amazing dad and husband,provides for us,i don't spend a dime for the home from my personal cash,he does all without complaint,he bathes the kids,cleans them up,even if they mess up themselves with poop,he doesn't call my attention to it,does it himself,cooks,feeds them,hardly sleeps in our room,but with his boys,even when he does sleep,always going to checkup on them every second,when he travels my kids wake up at night shouting DADDY,i'll be like i'm here,they'll say no I want daddy to take me pee.
Infact I can go on and on..the only problem i'm having with him is this his wanting to have a football team(though i'm sure it's not his plan anyways),like 2 or 3 more,so he says.
I just need the opinion of my fellow bvs,how to make my man see reasons with me,and be okay with our lovely boys,yes,we don't have a girl yet,but I love them all the same and contented..
Thanks
You guys need to cut down and discuss, but you can still give him one more without any hassles.
ReplyDeleteAnother chronicle of a lady who did not go through courtship. You saw the sign (he love kids), you did not ask or discuss with him "like how many will satisfy you" and you jumped in to get married. All the odds are against you madam; he provides all, bathes them, takes them "to pee", cleans feces . . . common madam, what's your grouse here. It is time to do "courtship in marriage". It is time to discuss what you missed in courtship (don't know if you belong to the league of those that f*ck all through in their courtship instead of planing for a home). If you dare report to the in-laws or even your parents, you'd be severely chastised for being selfish and not wanting them to have more grand kids; you see what I mean? It will have to be a bargain. If he says 4 more, you say why not one more . . . maybe finally you will arrive at two. Just that same way you haggle for ugu in the market.
DeleteMadam don't tempt this man to score plenty away goals. Make you no carry ya hands scatter the beautiful home wey papa God dash you. And no be God say make we multiply (multiply no be even addition o). Abeg open leg make oga man score more goals. Haba.
DeleteMadam, im sure u both had the discussion on the number of kids while courting, but if circumstances has changed by a female child being the missing puzzle, i cnt say i frown at the idea, besides hes an awesome dad & capable dad... that being said u might have personal bad xperiences from birthing 3 boys, which scares the big Jesus outta you, just mere thinking about unprotected sex when ure ovulating, or even scars as evidence & constant reminders from previous C-section... Women who have a uterine cesarean scar have slightly higher long-term risks. These risks, which increase with each additional cesarean delivery, include breaking open of the incision scar during a later pregnancy or labor (uterine rupture). so madam abeg u know ur body better than anyone else, done push beyond ur breaking point, thats like handling a shovel already for ur own grave, in the name of pleasing a man.... ure not a machine. He should be contented and love wat uve given, uve already gone more than ur limit asbu desired just one, if he likes babies so mch he should alwys visit a cretch, maybe once a week and carry babies as mch as he likes.... think of the ramifications b4u do anything, no one should push you!
DeleteCome and switch with my husband who only wants one pikin
DeleteWhen God said go into the world and multiple you even found a good man to that with,girl you have no problem.
DeleteAnonymous 16.56 you are too harsh. Just because the poster does not want more does not mean she played during courtship. There are so many dimensions to dating and planning a life together. They may have discussed it and she was aware but all must not be perfect before you marry if not no one will marry. There will be somethings you both have different opinions on but you work together to compromise. Sometimes that's what marriage is all about. PSOE ate too harsh and quick to judge. Do you think that everyone who has a happy marriage everything clicked before marriage ? There are things they worked on after marriage son pls calm down.
DeleteWhy not try one more time,after that you can put a stop to it by go turn your womb permanently
ReplyDeleteO lord.... it's me your daughter. See someone's problem o
DeleteI pray for a husband like this. Father, please hear my prayers so I can have this kind of complain.
Amen.
Aunty please we are in the 21st century not 20th.
DeleteI don't get o, what exactly do you people discuss before marriage? My man and I already know how many kids we want and we've agreed. If either of us decide to change our minds, we would still discuss it and agree. If he loves kids so much then adoption is a good option. You're not barren and you've proven that with 3kids, let him adopt. It's easy for men to make demands but they don't go through pregnancy or the body changes that come with it. God forbid you die while trying to please him. I know a lady who died having her 5th child because husband wanted more and they already had both sexes. Now he is married to another lady maltreatment late wives kids.
ReplyDelete*maltreating.
DeleteI wonder why you guys are advising her to encourage her husband to adopt,
Delete1. Not like his sperm cells has a problem.
2. Not like she has a life threatening condition that will kill her if she ever gets pregnant.
3. Most men don't buy the idea of adopting when they could easily impregnate their spouse.
I not saying adopting a child is a bad idea but mehn they are both in a good position to have another child. Just one party been selfish with her tools to help bring forth the child.
Pls give him more children jor. After all, you're not the one caring for them, physically and financially. Your own is just to lend him your body for 9 months. If you love him, that shouldn't be a concern should it?
DeleteBy the way, your man is AMAZING, Gerrit?
Rowland, please use all your numbered points to drink garri because they are nuts. You clearly do not know what it means to carry a child to term. Some women can barely survive having one child and here is a woman with 3 yet her husband wants more because she is the selfish one and not him. Men can't even go through flu without acting like they are about to die yet a man would be making silly demands and have expectations higher than his IQ. I blame the woman for not having this serious and important discussion with the man. He is rich today and the kids are still young. Do you even know how much baby food cost with the increasing price of school fees and every other thing. Rich men don't even have more than 3 kids because the future is unknown, anything can happen. It's better to have kids that you won't be rolling in your grave thinking about their welfare because you're not there.
DeleteA woman isn't created for making babies, this is why many marriages fail because men marry to have kids not to have a fulfilling home. Men that are hardly ever around to train the kids but leave the responsibility to the woman. Money? It doesn't train a child, it can buy what a child needs to be trained but it doesn't make up for the presence of a parent in the child's life.
I'm thankful I am not the one that would marry men like the one's on this blog or marry from a family with women who think a woman does not have a right to her body. Ladies, have these talks with your partners. Your body belongs to you, if you die bearing his child these same people will curse you and say wetin she still dey find after 3children. Every pregnancy defers, just because she has had 3 with no issues does not mean the next issue won't come with problems not like I'm praying for that for her. You should talk to your husband. Let him know your fears and why you don't want more.
I love you! You comment intelligently
DeleteHmmm that is how my neighbour kept having more kids to please her husband and died on the 5th.
DeleteMadam 3 is enough but you can do one more if you wish to.
Hi Doppelganger, great comment. I always look out for contributions because your reasoning power is quite acute coupled with your lexicon delivery. I silently agree with most of your comments but your response to Rowland is a bit condescending. I want to believe it's just a bad moment and it doesn't define you
DeleteDoppelganger do u have a job? Your comments are always so long my lord!!!
DeleteWell said...but not the 'IQ' bit.
DeletePoster,
ReplyDeleteYou don't have a problem jare...
Give him more abeg...like two is okay making it five!...
No big deal!...
Or you advise him to marry another woman which I know you will reject!...
Lolzzz queen queen oyoyoyo ojiro gi Na onu at all,
DeleteHe should adopt if he insists or he should try getting pregnant. He thinks it's easy?
ReplyDeleteLoL,my husband loves kids so muchhhhh,we are having five kids spend their holiday at ours.Dear poster,pls make him understand that you have tried and if he persists,insist on having one more and close shop,if possible sign agreement.my MIL said I will give her at least five kids,I don't have strength and labor scares me like crazy
ReplyDeleteI think he low key wants a girl....
ReplyDeleteBut what a an amazing man you married
See, you have an amazing husband. He takes care of the kids too. What more can you ask for. Such men are rare, you hardly find them. Most men are sperm donors,all they know is to get a woman pregnant, the responsibility of training the kids rest solely on her shoulders(I'm not talking about money). fathers who're involved in the kids lives,money aside ,are the best. My advice, both of you should sit down and talk it through. You should have had this conversation before getting married.
ReplyDeleteBecause she has an amazing husband she should have 6kids. Do you think it is all about having amazing husband? My uncle was an amazing husband but he died at 40. He wanted many kids too.
DeleteIt is not your portion poster but I think 3 to 4 kids is enough in this day and age.
Yeye woman,how does this concern us if your husband want more kids, is not like u have any health issues, don't worry, his side chic will give him more children since u are calling 5 kids a football team, abeg gerarahere.
ReplyDeleteLmao. Chop knuckle 👊👊👊👊👊
DeleteHahahah no make jealousy kill you o...
DeleteAngelray as savage as her eyebrows, well I like you like that.
DeleteAngelray you will live long jare, Ndi nwere ike amaghi ano ani cha cha
DeleteOrishirishi
ReplyDeleteMadam please this is not a problem, if your husband wants more children and he's capable of taking care of you and the children, please give him more. I've seen families with 10 children and they are all doing fine. Maybe,if you give birth to a girl, he won't bother you anymore about wanting more kids.
#mytwoshillings
its easy to spot those that hv never come close to carryin a baby for 9months & enterin the labour room, you must assume its like carryin shit in ur rectum & using the toilet... jst cus a woman with strong genes pops out 10kids, u must classify all women to do same at ease
DeleteDesist from your hubby's request only on health grounds. What if you get pregnant by mistake? So far hubby hasn't given you cause for alarm, he is even doing his best physically and financially to care for his kids, a rarity in a lot of men. If you have cogent reasons discuss them with him, and he should see reason. Pray about it and ask God for direction. You have a great family. Please don't fix what ain't broke.
DeletePlease poster just hold it there! You met this man and he never hid his kind of person from you and you came here to complain.
ReplyDeleteYour husband doesn't want a football team, he just want maybe extra two or three children which I presumed he must have discussed with you (but, you want people to bashed your husband here)
This is the twenty first century as you said, and a lot of people around the world (rich and wealthy) are still having more than five kids.
Please, discuss the issue with your husband, try and compromise if you love him that much.
Since he's capable of taking care of the children and he is also very helpful with the house chores.
Some of us would have loved to have more kids if life was fair to us.
God bless you Mrs R. Poster give your DH two more and close up.
DeleteWhy not, so far he can take care of them financially and he doesn't leave all the stress on you. You can have one or two more. I actually love a large family but the situation of the country won't let me go for it.
ReplyDeleteMadam give the man more babies joooh ogini? Lol.See, As far as he has the money to take care of them no pi.Children are the gift from God.
ReplyDeleteHis dick,his money,his children.
ofcourse youd be in support, he wouldnt patroniz you... hes got healthy sperm
DeleteAtheist you dey matssssss!Lol
DeleteNo need arguing with him. You are the woman, monitor yourself. Get the pills and take them but don't let him know.
ReplyDeleteWhen he asks why u r not pregnant, tell him you don't know too. Don't pretend like you r happy about the situation. You can turn worry about it too so it won't look like its your fault.
I hope it works tho
Poster, do not take this advice. Jasmine is single,and knows nothing about marriage.
DeleteThis is sooo me!! By God's grace, I intend giving birth to the number of kids I know i can singlehandedly take care of. BTW, why are people making it look like carrying pregnancy to term n giving birth is child"s play??. Its no joke people. Poster I don't even know the advice to give you,maybe you should consider having one more.
DeleteI swear, this is just my way..
DeleteDo something at the hospital but do not let him know about it..
Kikikikikikiki... deception. Fine if you go this route, but beware, one day if breeze blow and fowl nyash open, you will see the other side of this your kind and gentle husband, take that from me. Deception ruins trust and destroys marriages. If for health reasons or any other reason you do not want more children, be upfront about it.
DeleteSimply take this advise, break your home and write another chronicle.
DeleteHow can you live with bringing your husband here for strangers to bash him. Look at single people who do not know anything about marriage telling you what to do in your home.
Marriage is about compromise, you can convince him to accept one more. Even two more is not a bad idea. Tyler Perry said that once you get married, you give up the "I" for the "us". Discuss this with him.
You married this man, you understand him better than anyone here, have a chat with him over this.
If you loose what you have over this and decide to join the angry man haters a.k.a I don't need a man to survive then good luck to you.
God bless you
DeletePoster follow Jasmine advice I can assure you another chronicles of how ur husband side chick birth him 3kids, 21st century my foot, provided you don't have health issues 5or 6kids is not bad, lemme ask you poster how many are you in ur family? Am sure u are more than 5 & ur mum didn't die you are here destroying ur home gradually under the guise of 21st century Woman, na u sabi if can't birth another 2 for ur husband allow him get another wife jor cos you can't eat ur cake & have it, Atlist you knw he loves kids from the day you met him
DeleteIf you have the energy and you are healthy please give him more kids after all he is providing for them and doing alot, what is your problem ? we talk about 21st century because of care/means, Since these are available please give him what he wants.
ReplyDeleteWhat if something negative happens, how will these kids be taken care of?
Deletemadam I beg give that man more kids if that's what he wants. from what you wrote about him, I'll tell you to always be on your knees thanking God daily, you're lucky to have that kind of husband. what if he's the type that doesn't care about you and the kids and will still demand more. I know you fear the future,the resources you'll use to take care of them, if what your husband wants is more kids,I'll advice you give him probably one more then talk to him in a calm way and let him see reasons why having so many may not be good. for me 3 or 4 is not bad
ReplyDelete#HusbandGoals as regard the connection with kids sha bt more children....Ah! tell him na, you can go more often to motherless home. Abeg ooo. 3 is good
ReplyDeleteIn this time and age? In this Buhari economy? He should park well jare.Three is even too much if you ask me.What is he doing with them abeg? Training kids ain't a joke at all.
ReplyDeleteMy dear. Did you read the part where she said he provides for the family. Why is she been selfish with her Womb? Smh
DeleteBut, he's not asking for financial assistance from anyone! He has not asked anyone to help him take care of his children. He's capable and I see nothing wrong in wanting more kids if the both couple can.
DeleteAre you kidding me?How is she being selfish abeg?Do you know how difficult it is to carry pregnancy? Do you know the stress? So cuz he takes care of them she should just be popping babied out as if she's a baby factory?
DeletePoster as others have said, the problem is that in courtship you and your husband did not decide about kids. It means on that issue you both are on different lanes. Now in marriage the two have become one. Meaning it is not about YOUR way or HIS way. You both have to take the middle road and compromise. Else either one of you will feel cheated. So sit him down for a long talk where you both decide what that compromise will be, then go for it. Pray about it first. Wishing you the best in your marriage now and forever.
DeleteWhat if his business fails in the future? What if he dies? Or she dies? How does one begin to cater for 6children if the tide turns. Granted, he is capable now but we must do things while keeping the future in view. Poster, I say shut up shop. If he wants more kids he can go out and have those. That's on him not you. And who is to say he won't leave you in another 5/10yrs for a younger, riper womb? At least you'd be able to carry 3 on your own. Pls insult me all you want.
DeleteSassy Pls pregnancy is not sickness, is only God that grant safe delivery, have seen a woman that died on her 1st child delivery & there are women that has 9kids no single complications, it all depends on God protection not man
DeleteI have two questions for you.
ReplyDelete- didn't you discuss the number of kids you would have before marriage? If so what was your consensus?
- is your husband financially capable of coping with the number of kids he wants? If so, I really don't see much of a problem here.
Permit me to say that this is no chronicle!
This is what you should have discussed during coutship oh!!!
ReplyDeleteMe I like plenty kids oh but this economy is not pocket friendly so I've stopped with my four.
You can discuss this with him heart to heart o.k? Or you give him one more (hopefully it will be a girl)
Madam you don't have any problem. Yes! You don't. If he provides for the family, and doesn't cheat on you, and showers you with undying love, you should spread your legs from here to mount everest. And let his over active sperm dash off to fertilize sharp sharp. And stop being selfish with your Womb biko
ReplyDeleteIf na so e easy to carry belle born pikin, you for help her carry am naa. My church member's wife lost her life while birthing her 4th kid. It shall not be poster's portion but what I am saying in essence is that you don't have to take liberty for granted.
DeleteMen are selfish bastards now. It is so easy to want many kids when they have no clue about what the woman goes through.
DeleteMy husband wants 6. Lemme come and be going
ReplyDeletePoster, you have no issue at all, give your husband one or two more babies as far as y'all can cater for them witot any hiccups.....relax and enjoy your home.
ReplyDeleteGive him one more and close shop, lucky you
ReplyDeleteWhat is it with kids of nowadays? That's how ma lil boy wud just wake up and start searching for his daddy when he's not around as if um a demon.
ReplyDeleteFunny..
DeleteThe dads don't scold them like you mums.
Kikikik... You go born football team finish... He go run away
ReplyDeleteBetter give yourself brain
You can't afford to train all these football teams alone
I don talk
A couple should not give birth to more than 4,i this era
@Anonymous Orubebe
I don't know why you are complaining because he told you from the beginning the type of man that he is. Two of you should sit down like matured adults and reach a compromise on how much more your body can carry. It must not be 3 or more. Extra one or two is ok. Please use wisdom.
ReplyDeleteHey ''his demand is way too high, he needs to cut it'' cut it, cut it, cut it!!!!..Wow you really envy you. U married a great man so you no get wahala at all..Just sweetly talk to him , that you people can adopt more kids. but say it with a smile, ok...no frowns...
ReplyDeletehaving one more child is not a bad idea, since he is capable of caring for them and u have no health issues. Just let him know the 4th child will be d final.
ReplyDeleteImagine you are all shouting ' give him more kids, like she's going to spit them out of her mouth. What if she lost her life pleasing this man?
ReplyDeleteAbeg woman, no mind that your husband o. He should go and adopt if having more kids are his problem.
She never complained of having any health issues.
DeleteYou think adoption is that easy when the man's sperm is fertile. He can as well go and get another woman pregnant, since his wife is being selfish and not considerate.
Some women knows how to destroy their peaceful home with their own hands.
Don thank you. Mrs R, you must not have health issues before things go wrong.This things can happen during pregnancy, complications can arise.my dear,3 is enough.
DeleteYou have a nice man and don't mess things up with the advice most BVs will tell you here. And you are a good wifevtoo cause you care about his feelings. I love children too and unfortunately due to my wife's health challenges we can't have more than two but hopefully we will adopt one. I hope you don't have any health challenges during pregnancy. And My humble advice is talk to your husband and probably have one more to seal the deal.For a caring man child bearing and raising is a wonderful experience. I have a family friend who have 5 children. The wife is the one clamouring for more and she is a working mum but says she loves the smell of babies and having children. Husband is a doctor and it took a lot of pleading and begging to convince her that 5 is enough. As long as he is taking care of you and I pray you both live long to enjoy the fruits of your labor I will say talk to him about it and I know he will understand. Don't do any family planning without his knowledge cause he might feel bad and disappointed and change towards you. Wish you the best.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you're blessed to have a good husband who's committed to the kids. I know 3 is a perfect number but 4 kids is not so bad either. I think you should go one more round and make him know its just for him. You might get a girl in the mix and you'll both be happy. like some one said in one of the comments, I wish I could go for one more. I haven't because I have no tangible reason to , I am already in my forties. Cost of loving is high and I have but sexes in the mix . Unlike you I shoulder a lot of the responsibilities so its not a wise option for me, But if you're a family oriented person you will always appreciate a big family. In fact I wish I had braved it in my thirties but at the time it was very overwhelming.
ReplyDelete@Yori yori...What is really your problem? If you dont have any intelligent thing to say why not just waka pass..must you show the world how backward in thinking you are? I wonder what could have happened to you in your childhood that has warped your personality to this level.
ReplyDelete@Poster...Your hubby is a great father...pls both of you should negotiate and agree on how many more he wants/you can have....give him what he wants so he wont have any reason to look outside...all the best.
Since your husband is doing well, you have a good man as a husband. Why don't you allow one more baby, then you can take family planning. Some men love to have plenty children, we are only against those managing having plenty kids.
ReplyDeleteSo this one na follow for chronicle abi? Madam please give your husband what he wants, like more two kids. There's no biggie OK.
ReplyDelete
ReplyDelete@ Orubebe, is it your football team? As if you have reading problem and did not see
that part she wrote the man is capable financially.
ReplyDeleteLooks like girls do not do courtship anymore
Another chronicle of a lady who did not go through courtship. You saw the sign (he love kids), you did not ask or discuss with him "like how many will satisfy you" and you jumped in to get married. All the odds are against you madam; he provides all, bathes them, takes them "to pee", cleans feces . . . common madam, what's your grouse here. It is time to do "courtship in marriage". It is time to discuss what you missed in courtship (don't know if you belong to the league of those that f*ck all through in their courtship instead of planing for a home). If you dare report to the in-laws or even your parents, you'd be severely chastised for being selfish and not wanting them to have more grand kids; you see what I mean? It will have to be a bargain. If he says 4 more, you say why not one more . . . maybe finally you will arrive at two.
What I've learned is that when a man loves and is comfortable with a woman, the next logical thing he wants with her is children.
ReplyDeleteBut in this day and age with so many unknown variables it's not advisable to have football team in case of a drastic change of financial capabilites.
Talk to him maybe you can reach a compromise on total number of children. Maybe one more. Tell him why you don't really want more.
Truth is, Men can WANT a lot...just like kids.
ReplyDeleteIt's a good thing your brain is still intact right now.
I pray i do not stir even more resentment for your hubby's 'need' but fact is, your husband is quite myopic. Worse is his lousy attitude of getting into a foul mood coz u don't seem to want to bend.
Now, i think your hubby has some childhood large-family kinda fantasy he's determined to bring to reality. Since, he might have been or more especially may not have been be in such, why not create one?
I know i sound ridiculous, but i believe i am right.
And if i'm right, then there is very big problem ahead.
He is comfortable and hands-on as you said, there is the temptation of stepping out to get a willing rabbit, sorry, sidechick to help his fantasy...which is going to be really bad.
But then i may be wrong and your hubby just wants to father a large family. Probably the type that likes the noise and bustle of kids. The excitement of lining up his children to guests, mouthing off their achievement and making small complaints and probably to secure his future if he raises a successful army.
Well, not a bad thing except someone fails to realise how complex the process is to bring kids to earth.
I'm all about that childish reaction of going into a foul mood coz he fails to understand how much mental, physical changes he is putting another human through trying to get his wish aside you putting your life in the process. Also, there is the problem of twisted intimacy where you become more loveable in his eyes coz of your babymaking process and not coz you are his companion for life...now that is lowkey emotional abuse.
Now either scenario is not going to go well at the end.
Mr large family love kids, but kids grow up and they come with loads of responibilities. Has he set aside massive trust funds, investments or generational wealth for them. So he provides now, is he certain of tomorrow?
So what if you just go along and bear them kids, they start growing and hardly become those sweet things whose eyes dazzle at the sight of their dad and give impulsive hugs and love but want to run away with their peers. They crowd the house and then their needs grows geometrically while the income is not totally guaranteed. Then the house becomes choked up, with so much presence, responsibilities and strained intimacy between you and your hubby....damn!!!
You know what is going to happen, This same Mr large family will feel choked and seek an escape, with work or nwababy out there. You will be mother of nations with a near dead marriage who has probably lost herself in all the drama...that is if your finances will still be fine by then.
It would have been different if you share that whole large family concept but you don't so resentment and frustration is really close.
So ma'am, you two need some good ass counselling or some serious frank talk. He can't keep demanding and you can't keep dodging....you are adults for God sakes.
Be honest about how you feel, let him realise you are his wife, his no 1 and most important duty is to you. You cannot be reduced to a baby making factory no matter his good and large hearted intentions. Companionship is the basis of marriage before kids. Risk of maternal mortality increases with increasing pregnancy and the economy is not smiling...open your mouth and talk. You too might come to a compromise for one more at most, but pls don't indulge this risky venture for long.
Never forget to consult God for help to touch his 'Spongebobish' brain. He needs a new ambition and reason for marriage...let God fix it for you okay.
May God see you through and keep your home.
Spongebobish brain lmao! Kikikikikikiki, missed you Empress Cho 😘. I just lurrrv this blog.
DeleteErrrm, Madam, if your husband is capable of providing for the "football team", don't deny him the joy of having them.
ReplyDeletePoster........This your husband sound like my husband, the only difference is that he doesn't lift a finger to help in the house. Your hubby must be a waffy man.See,Anyway I can't shout, I'm on a family planning device and my last child is already 7.......lol
ReplyDeleteSo my advice to you Poster is don't argue with him, go to the hospital and get an IUD in place. See no one knows how tomorrow will be and with the way school proprietors increase school fees annually, one should not have more kids than one can take good care of. The ball is in your court but if I were you I won't have more children again.
Stay happy dear, I can't shout......
I do not understand the kind of chronicles we are reading nowadays. Is it that we are gradually loosing the ability to resolve simple family issues within the family as adults? So much so that such a trivial issue has to be brought to a blog. What happened to discussing and agreeing with ur partner? Or compromising your stand and meeting ur partner at least halfway?
ReplyDeletePlease you do not need bvs to tell you to table your reservations before your partner and work out a solution that will be acceptable to both of you, as the husband and wife that you both are. From your write-up, it doesn't seem as though your man is difficult or irrational. Please apply wisdom and deal with this issue, being a wife comes with responsibilities.
Try and give him one more, thank God u are well to do. My husband is insisting on two but I love children so much, just bcos of money. I pray my baby brings us wealth so I can birth one more. This life sha
ReplyDeleteIf you don't have complications like more than 2 previous CS or placental issues or blood issues, why not give one more baby?
ReplyDeleteMadam you can do one more for the road if you don't have any medical conditions that won't allow you get pregnant. Everyone quick to talk about not dating/ discussing during courtship. Things change ehn. Mine is the opposite, dated for over 5 years we talked about kids decided on 3, however we didn't get married as early as we planned . Imagine my shock when after one hubby kept telling people we were done!! I assumed this man was joking o till I got pregnant and it almost split us apart
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha see issue o..another mans meat is another's poison. Hmmm my husband and I agreed on two kids during courtship, a girl and a boy (by Gods grace o) we have a baby girl now and hubby is so scared of making another baby cos of the economy. Me still want the baby boy sha. But you see it takes two to make that happen. Poster please give him one more..
ReplyDeleteThe way people are shouting give him more kids asif carrying a child full term is easy. Not everyone has a smooth pregnancy so all this talk of madam give him more. If men felt even a pinch of what it was like to carry a child for 9 months and go thru labour i don't think they will want football team. some people have it easy and some don't. That being said, poster u knew the type of man he was when u got married to him that is what courtship is for to ask all the right questions and agree on the main ones like Kids......
ReplyDeletenot sure how to help you here but i wish u Solomons Wisdom..Good luck
You dey mind them , most of them think it is like pooing in the toilet, awon jokers.
DeleteSimilar thing happened to someone.
ReplyDeletePlease make sure that your husband is not "abusing" those boys sexually. Just make sure you peep and see what happens in their room and in "going to pee" as they prefer daddy to take them. One man was "taking good care of the kids" bu sucking the kids' penis and fingering her daughter and and having them suck his. It took the wife to do detective work to find out and got him arrested. Just be very watchful and prayerful.
Are you OK at all, famiy destroyer anon, mad pple everywhere
DeleteYour man is not complaining. He has the money and time for the kids, you are complaining. I rather feel you should have more kids then spend your time bathing, cooking and putting them to bed cos its obvious the ones you have now don't feel you like they do their dad.
ReplyDeletePoster Pls give your husband 2kids more, unless you want ur man to start cheating with a Sidechic, who will give him more kids, keep ur 21st century women mentality aside for now
ReplyDelete