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Thursday, July 06, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

Good question.....

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

JOINT ACCOUNT BETWEEN COUPLES

Good day madam ,

Please I will like to seek your opinion and that of your blog visitors , please keep my information private .

I have been married for almost a year now , and I have something bothering me. Before we got married , we were discussing owning a joint account.

We were both employed then and make a really good sum individualy , though he makes way more than I do. During my wedding my family gifted me a huge sum of money(about 10M)

.Shortly after the wedding I quit my job and moved to another country while hubby stayed back . He visits once or twice every month and will soon join me permanently .

My husband and I went into a financially demanding project , so I had to send him the 10M to use and pursue this project . Occasionally I bring up the fact that we still haven't opened a joint account to my husband , but he keeps pushing it aside because he is busy. I am getting to the point of being worried , cos i have no much money to my name in this country.

When we just got married , I didn't care much because I felt what's mine is his and what's his is mine. My marriage is fine and my husband is healthy but I can't help but wonder , what if something goes wrong?

will I be able to lay claims to our money ? Do I need to be physically present in the bank to open a joint account with him? Can't the bank send the form for me to fill and return to them?

*Madam it is good that you are now shining your eyes,I hope your man actually invested the money!

104 comments:

Disco Dancer...6 July 2017 at 15:02
It is well...
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:03
Yes I have a joint account with my husband with mandate of either to sign. ONce he withdraws more than a certain amount, each receive alerts on his/her phone.

THE ISSUE HERE IS "TRUST"

When one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!

A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.

Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)
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Fan Emmanuel 6 July 2017 at 15:04
You gave him all the money that your parents gave to you, not even half? I pray nothing goes wrong.
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Miss Ess6 July 2017 at 15:04
It is well
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LOLO IDEATO 6 July 2017 at 15:04
Campaign after Election!

Medicine after Death.

Whatever we tell you will yield nothing since you've given him the 10M.

If you want to start a project of 500m you should have at least physical 300M before starting or even 250M

Hope you are not his oil well
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SWEETIE 6 July 2017 at 15:06
How can you send such a huge sum to him for a project claiming its for you and him,I just pray everything its going on like you this.pls create time and think on how to come down to see things for yourself and so you too can go process the joint account stuff.never you trust some men when it comes to a ladies money,some can do and undo
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Chike TEFLON (Award winning blog visitor)6 July 2017 at 15:07
I'm not married. When I marry I will come back and answer.

Pray to God to give you wisdom to handle your marriage. No formula for marriage. But one thing I know is that men don't give their wife back the money they borrow from them.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:09
Tell him when coming next to bring bank forms for joint accounts.
Alternatively, the banks can send you the forms by email
Did that while in a foreign country
So that when he comes next, he is coming with the checkbooks
in the mandate forms, add your email address as the notification if for e.g. more than 5k is withdrawn etc.
Yes, anything can happen including his or your death, the kids need to have a good financial base to fall back on for their education etc.
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I am the queen and the boss of this blog(CHIEF)6 July 2017 at 15:10
Use your woman power to force your husband nah...
See,joint account is very necessary in a marriage!...
Lemme advise you since you are newly married...
Make sure you collect good money from your husband and hide some of yours!...
Constantly tax him!!...
Don't pity these men oh!...
Don't ever tell your man how much you are worth cos he might stop bringing money home and spend on side chicks and flexing!...
You would have told him your people gave you 5mill and hide the remaining 5 mill for your self nah...
Kai!..
See,these men are not loyal unless you are seriously knacking pigeon on their head daily!...
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Doppelgänger6 July 2017 at 15:10
There's nothing wrong with opening a joint account as married couples but it has to be amutual agreement with both parties filling a mandate saying the order and level of access to account. Whereby, one cannot withdraw without the authorisation of the other.
So if they didn't gift you that money, won't he do his project? You just handed him the whole money without an agreement stating terms of return payment.
Anyway, most banks now have a way you can open an account online without going to the bank. Provide your passport, proof of ID, category of signatory (make sure you both are signatories madam). The account would be opened like a tier 1 account and upgraded once documents are completed. He can't withdraw without you signing and vice versa. Also agree on how much would be contributed monthly or however. I'd prefer everyone have their personal accounts and joint account should be for kids future plans since you both earn well.
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Bug repellant 6 July 2017 at 15:10
Chai
Your hubby played a fast one on you
You better start something to earn from before you to hear win
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Mc pinky(Award winner of BV WITH THE MOST Gbagaun of the year 2021)6 July 2017 at 15:10
This one need critical analysis ooo

Let d bankers we Ave here put u through

Having a joint account with ur man is not a bad thing but am just hmmmmmm

Let God put you through

MC pinky
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Bug repellant 6 July 2017 at 15:10
Chai
Your hubby played a fast one on you
You better start something to earn from before you go hear win
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Blackberry6 July 2017 at 15:10
Good u trust ur husband with yourbmoney, atleast he won't let u down.

Again, don't be be totally honest with ALL your money unless he's honest with his, it's only fair that honesty comes from both of you.
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aunthenticbaby6 July 2017 at 15:12
Hmm ,think of how to convince him in opening the joint account.If not that you r thinking abt your 10m and you need it ,I won't advise anyone opening a joint account .
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:12
Living apart is a joke
Temptations abound when living together talk less of apart
You seem to be more obsessed with abroad than your family life
This is crazy
Hope you come out of it unscathed
You can scan and sign forms and open joint account from anywhere in the world
I did it once and I know it works; I was not in the country during the BVN issue and had my bank send the forms which I filled and sent back by email attachment.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:13
HOW CAN YOU CARRY THAT 10 MILLION AND GIVE HIM? WHAT KIND OF FUCKING LOVE IS THAT? IT'S POSSIBLE THAT HE THOUGHT OF THAT BIZ AFTER SEEING YOUR MONEY. WHY DID YOU TELL HIM ABOUT THE 10 MILLION? HOW SURE AM I THAT HE DIDNT START TALKING ABOUT THE JOINT ACCOUNT AFTER SEEING THE 10 MILLION. YOU DON FUCK UP. YOU MAY NEVER SMELL THAT MONEY AGAIN AND THE JOINT ACCOUNT IS NOT STORY. HOW MANY MEN WILL TRY TO HAVE JOINT ACCOUNT?

WOMEN USE YOUR BRAIN. STOP USING LOVE AS EXCUSE TO FUCK UP
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Doppelgänger6 July 2017 at 15:15
Oh in addition, hope it's your name he writes as next of kin if not on proof of ownership.
Truth be told, most men even after marriage forget to change their next of kin from their family members to their wives or even their children. That's why you'd see family members coming to claim property when wife and kids are there.
If your money is in a project you both are doing, his name shouldn't be the only one in the title documents. As couples, you have to own not only accounts jointly but property. You should trust your husband though and stop thinking too far because I'd like to believe your marriage was and is founded on honesty and genuine love.
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Madam Small Chops6 July 2017 at 15:16
You should have access to the money if you are his next of kin. He should courier the forms to you or travel with it on his next visit.

The only thing that can make me have joint account with my hubby is if his ways are pure.Poster, if your hubby is an honest man then you have no worries at all.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:17
That was how a very wealthy man died in our hospital and the widow with three kids became a beggar from that point. She did not have money even for the hospital bills
Had to contribute for her to even eat
It was double tragedy; she did not have any paper of the man's account and couldn't find it anywhere
The man's brothers inherited everything.
And you know what happens in Nigeria when you have only girls?
It is a shame that nobody does courtship anymore; it's more of sex
My husband and I opened joint accounts just before he paid my bride price
Have peace financially since then.
He doesn't need to tell me before he withdraws, it hits my phone; branch, amount etc.
So he virtually tells me where he is whenever he withdraws
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OMODAMWEN EHIZOGIE6 July 2017 at 15:19
Personally, we dnt hv joint account.. but we hv kids account which I'm d only signature to (until kids turn 18 at least) . But financing d account is courtesy mum n dad...

Would dt be joint account too?

Anyways, click on this link to join Edo/Delta WhatsApp group

https://chat.whatsapp.com/HXARKvWCldG8L6iRuTFWoL
Group link
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Pastor Sexy Daddy6 July 2017 at 15:26
Madam relax first.Remove fear from your life.If your name is the next of kin you have no worries,but if its other wise OYO is your case!
I'm out.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:35
The issue of joint account in marriage is very simple and at same time very complex.
I have been married four years now and what hubby and I have is joint money.
I grew up in a house where there was only one family purse, it did not matter whoever was working I.e.times when both parents were working, when one had to quit to care for family or when there were extra income; money was spent as tho it came from one purse. Same Intentions, plans etc.
I really loved it because up till now my parents only use my mum's account for all monies coming in (rent, stipends from children, money from the small business they both r running ) while dad's pension goes into his account which they keep there for emergency.
Can I also say as at today, everything my father owns (houses etc ) are in my mum's name.
Now to my own family, being from this type of home and seeing how much it was very peaceful to run, I 'introduced' my hubby to it from when we were friends esp when I noticed the friendship was becoming serious. We spent our monies together...we planned based on our projects and priorities. It didn't matter who had money, we would always work according to what the plan was.
When hubby did not get paid for over a year, we stuck to plan using my money and when I took time out to do my masters, all my academic goals etc was funded with his money (Our money...lol).
Hubby on the other hand comes from a home where mum does not even know how much dad is earning, whether he owns any properties or not..even now we send monthly stipend to them separately...
He also believes in husbands money is family money and wife's money is her personal money which is what he wanted us to practice (good offer abi..).
Now we don't have a joint account but it doesn't matter where the money is we spend it together based on our plans.
It's a bit difficult particularly in times of financial stresses, hubby somehow reverts to talking about 'my money' or ' your money and has to be constantly reminded that it is our money no matter the account it is sitting in.
Advantages of 'joint acct/ family money '...u work towards same goals and plans, NO hidden / personal agendas, everything is done for the good of the home and vetted by both parties, you achieve more (we have quite a number of properties to our names now, oh yeah, every single thing is in both our names...includinf his company)...
It can be difficult if both parties have not experienced it before...but I will say it is worth it. It makes it easier to be transparent... We both have each other's passwords to all email acct, bank accts, company acct etc.
Other options might be a proper joint acct tho working out the logistics of that is difficult esp if both parties don't earn same. Hubby and I tried this while saving for our wedding but we used percentage to determine how much each party pays in as we were earning very differently then (I was earning almost three times his salary then so u can imagine how much I was paying in)
Long story short, both of you need to discuss at length and be very sincere about it. It's for the benefit of the family and the more selfless you both are about it the more you will benefit from it individually.
All the best.
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Paultuyi6 July 2017 at 15:42
Dear Poster, Operating a Joint account is great for couples for them to make the synergy in marriage works effectively and for efficient budgetary and financial planning, however this must be done with utmost good faith and sincerity on both parties. The ability of both parties to be financially cautious and discipline is also important. The following strategy also works, you both agree of a percentage of your monthly salaries that you both contribute to the Joint account. Both of you are signatories to this account and it should be more of an investment account not for consumption.
All other bills are settled from the balance of your individual accounts and you both deserve the right to build your personal individual account without neglecting your needs at home.
Above all, Utmost Sincerity, Trust and Discipline is key for all these to work. I can share more tips if you reach out to me. Stay Blessed.
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Jasmine6 July 2017 at 15:48
You gave him the whole 10m?

Wonderful.

I won't love to that extent, I'm sorry to say.

I learned from other people's experience abeg.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 15:50
@ anonymous 15.17.Dangote has only 3 children and they are all girls.What will happen when he dies..Are you saying his brothers or his nephews will inherit everything....
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Phoenix6 July 2017 at 15:56
Wow am not married but I dont think I want to do this joint account stuff..what i can do is open savings account for my kids..
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Chikito The Blog Sager with some fire 😜6 July 2017 at 16:02
What investment? Property i guess. Did you see the documents of the land? Pictures of the project? I dunno about you but my mother has one old box where she has aaaaallll the documents that she can use to hold our family to ransom if we annoy her. As a woman, they should be in your custody. Because if that document says Mr and Mrs xx and you are legally married, no matter what happens you both can lay claims to ownership. I'm really indifferent about joint account because meehn ive seen men who transfer every earning their wives accounts once they are paid. Come home with their payslips/contract docs everytime for madam to review. So if you have that much honesty, between yourselves there would be no worries about not having a joint account. Someone should be able to take his boys out for drinks or buy few bundles of human hair without taking permission from a spouse nau. Shu? Just decide on who's the better money manager between you two and have that person handle the finances of the home. Don't leave any money without a plan for it (my mentor told me this). You should have had a plan for that 10m and your husband should have been aware that the money was for something specific. Then open a savings account for major projects - education, property, business capital etc.

Lastly, don't take any decision in fear because you guys live apart. Dont panic. It might not be as bad. Plus, nothing wrong in loaning hubby 10m. He should sha show you where it went.
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Pure Nigerian6 July 2017 at 16:09
While joint account is important, I feel having you as his next of kin for important documents or updating his will to accommodate his new status is more important. Also, documents for projects should carry the names of you both. Joint account is more like the icing on the cake
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excited courtesy6 July 2017 at 16:41
This one is medicine after death, why did you not ask all these questions before you gave him the 10m to invest into his business, you would have given him half and keep half for your own self, pending when you are sure that your financial situation over there is strong. I hope you did not enter one chance with your 10m.

I hope things goes fine with the money , just hustle more money and allow the sleeping dog lay if you dnt want to have issues with your hubby, joint account thing is a matter of choice, I do not encourage it but if couples want to go ahead with joint about please let the mandate be both should sign before any transaction can be consummated. Wish you all the best, hope you trust your husband enough? if not do not start what you cannot finish.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 16:56
TO THE QUEER AND BUS OF THIS BLOG:

Everyone does not have a bad marriage like you do
Some of us do not need to go diabolic on our husbands
Nor do I need to "tax" him
The fact that yours have side chicks and only "knacking pigeon" on his head can keep him sane does not mean every husband is that way
Just keep dinning with the devil after all, Jesus said that he that is vile should continue to be vile and he that is righteous should continue to be righteous.
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BEDS AND ROSES6 July 2017 at 17:05
Madam........ you are obviously new in marriage. You gave your hubby the whole 10m, money that your parents gave you.
You didn't even give him half, you gave him all.
Seems love has blinded you for you not to know alot of these men are not loyal.
You don't let a man know the true state of what you are worth. Some will be so fast to expect you to pay bills in the house becos they feel you are loaded.
I will advice you speak to a lawyer, let them advice you.
Try and convince your husband you want to be a partner in this biz, ask questions and get involved. Make sure a lawyer prepares some form of agreement for you.
I just hope you have a strong marriage and your husband is a good hardworking man. pls next time seek the counsel of others before making such decisions.
if you had told your parents, they would have never allowed you do such.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 17:06
Let me just hide my ID.

Madam you see eh, I get money plenty. I have properties home and abroad. I earn good cash whenever I choose to work.

Will I ever tell my hubby to be or any BF how much I am worth, the answer is NEVER.

If I marry a guy I am richer than, he will sign a pre-nup. That is how one fuckboy wanted to deceive me with good fucking but when he heard pre-nup you should see the way he changed.

Anyway the deed has already been done. There is nothing wrong in sharing but life lessons has taught me never to ever give man my money again.

Make sure your husband opens a joint account but it might be difficult if you are not in the country with him.
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Yori Yori Princess6 July 2017 at 17:29
hahahahaha this Queen you are something else. Poster follow queen's advice.

I will not allow you to do the joint account and also not everything you will tell your horseband. Give some things for yourself.

Afterall Abraham did not tell Sarah he was going to sacrifice Isaac. Follow that part my dear
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SWAG LAFRESH 6 July 2017 at 17:29
This comment has been removed by the author.
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Yourshopper(For your shopping & Errands)070303289746 July 2017 at 17:56
There is nothing wrong in couple operating a joint account. But in the interest of both party, especially the wife, individual account is necessary. My own sensible way of operating a joint account is when an agreed sum of money is paid monthly by each party into the joint account from income earn monthly, and this money can be use for family projects like building project, training of kids,properties, vacation, helping a family member(jointly) etc. Your individual accounts will serves as your haven, you can use the money in it for your individual needs, and helping your family members individually e.g. giving money to your mama, etc. Operating a joint account or not does not guarantee successful marriage. When buying property jointly with your spouse, make sure such property have the name of both you on it e.g. Mr. Duke and Mrs. Liz Hopewell. It's good to play safe and people changes too. Selah
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 18:20
Mumu that's what you are! Your family gave you Ten million and you gave your Husband. What if something goes wrong in the Marriage what will you have to fall back upon! Even if your marriage works you were a fool to have given your husband all that money! You should have secretly invested it and just help out occasionally when there is need! Your family's sweat given to a man! Reality slap Gboa!!!
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Rosblis Cakes Onitsha: WhatsApp: 07039599308. IG: @Rosbliscakes. For ur bespoke/novelty/wedding cakes, trainings et al.6 July 2017 at 18:46
All 10m given to him? No joint account and you cant even tell if he invested that money! Very risky. Just keep talking about the joint account at same time try to know where that money went into. Mistake is already done
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Most precious stone6 July 2017 at 18:48
There are good men out there he might be one so relax. But pls all properties should bear mr.mike and mrs. joy not only mike to avoid issues in future
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Most precious stone6 July 2017 at 18:51
Again you people should do and live together so can know what he is up to
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 18:59
Regarding the virgin Chronicle of yesterday, I was beyond stupefied to read some BV comments on the issue especially that of CHIKE TEFLON. To say that I am disappointed at the sheer insensitivity and stupidity of this man's comment is an understatement.
His words “…you brought the beating on yourself...I will advise you to pray to God and give him hot sex" … and the ignorance continues in his preceding comments.
CHIKE TEFLON, have you never heard of the medical terms VAGINISMUS and DYSPAREUNIA? These are real and common sexual problems experienced by women and some virgins. Why do you think the poster and her hubby resorted to using lubes and even going for counselling because it has not only physical but psychological manifestations/causes as well? I am sure doctors can list many other gynaecologic conditions that may be also be at play here.
The problem with most of you is that you are ignorant and have refused to learn. If you choose to remain so, at least comment from a place of sympathy and understanding.
I've always known that most people do not marry for love so I wasn’t shocked at the husband’s eventual reaction. If a wife cannot fulfil a man's sexual needs for 7 months after marriage because she is unable to and for recognised medical reasons, is that a justification to violate, abuse and torture her? How can you justify such? Are you a beast or a human being?
Where is the LOVE and PATIENCE that should be shown in such situations??? Non-existent or at best short-lived because the love was never there in the first place.
I read a similar asinine comment from another BV named DON. If this is the mindset of the average Nigerian man, then the average Nigerian woman is in deep trouble. No wonder there is rife abuse and divorce.
Sex is important in a marriage but so is empathy, patience and understanding. If a wife becomes incapacitated for some other reason and she can’t have sex for longer than anticipated, I daresay that many marriages will pack up or be rocked with infidelity and abuse.
What is more pathetic is that there are women who support such or sit on the fence rather than condemn these behaviours. As for the husband, rather than be patient in seeking a lasting solution to their sexual problem, chooses the path of an abuser and violator rather than a lover and protector that God has called him to be.
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jelly6 July 2017 at 19:10
You have to give your husband the whole 10m😳😳 na wao for this una love killing me I die
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 19:10
Your husband doesn't earn more than you, stop lying, else he wouldn't have asked for 10m from u to invest. I hope d business he's doing is your own? Else babe, your money is gone, pray ur husband is a good man else, you will e left with nothing. Abi u don't have anything to do with ur 10M? I I parents hear it, will they be happy with you? That money was supposed to be your backbone my dear, it's gone unless the project he used it for is in both your names.
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Zeee6 July 2017 at 20:10
Wow!!! You shldn't have given him the whole money. I honestly dn't know how to advice you on this.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 20:28
As a rule of thumb, I don't lend out money I can't dash. Just in case there are stories that touch after the transaction.
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Anonymous6 July 2017 at 20:37
Just ensure u r the next of kin, whatever happens I can claim the cash. Plus ur investments should be in both of your names
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Unknown6 July 2017 at 21:50
Madam I sincerely implore of you to learn to trust your spouse. In as much as you know so well he is into a meaningful project that benefits the family. This yeye ladies wey de talk rubbish na dia type go give us BP if we marry. I no pray to jam una type jare.
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Amacastel7 July 2017 at 01:14
Na wa ooo poster you Don fuck up big time ur husband erigo gi gwo gwo
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Anonymous7 July 2017 at 08:58
You converted dollars or pounds to Naira.
That money has entered voice mail!
Don't you ladies learn?
I hope it will not cause a huge quarrel between you two, in future.
I don't support joint accounts,anything can happen. If you both want to embark on a project, then open a joint account and contribute into it monthly from your personal account.
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Thursday, July 06, 2017

Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

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