WOW!
STANDALONE NARRATIVE...
MEDDLING IN A FRIENDS RELATIONSHIP TO 'SAVE' HER
But... my friend is very soft on men matters and has always been a people pleaser, right from our teens. I was her 'brain reset' - you know that kind of friend that when people see with her, they behave cos they know today isnt the day to take advantage of her. Lol. She's always fallen for the wrong type of guys, and I'm usually the one who rescues her because.... well I help her connect the missing dots.
Sometimes, she would ask me to do background checks - maybe get in touch with people who might know him and then revert. As na me be the crazy one of the duo. At a point, i had to tell her to be prayerful cos she seemed a prey for gold diggers.
Two years ago, she moved to Abuja (work) and went cold. We tried maintaining our friendship despite the distance, but a few months later she became evasive. So things got 'quiet' between us. However, we were still on each others bbm. Only for her to slap me with a picture and wedding e-invite for late August. Begging me to please forgive her excesses, save the date she would like to see me there etc. Okay.
Two years ago, she moved to Abuja (work) and went cold. We tried maintaining our friendship despite the distance, but a few months later she became evasive. So things got 'quiet' between us. However, we were still on each others bbm. Only for her to slap me with a picture and wedding e-invite for late August. Begging me to please forgive her excesses, save the date she would like to see me there etc. Okay.
In support i used the picture on my dp. That was the greatest mistake i made!! 3 people pinged to say they know the guy. One was his ex colleague who described him as a womaniser, second was a mature mummy whose niece he 'deceitfully' engaged and discarded himself with money she loaned him, third was a car dealer who had to arrest him to get the balance of his money. Note that these 3 people don't know each other and they didn't quite tell me it was bad news, they just went 'i know him sha oooh.... this was my experience.... I hope he's changed and I wish him the best'. This happened weeks ago and I took the picture down almost immediately.
Since then she's been back to calling me to help her with her cake design, fabric selection, asoebi colours, sending me pics to recommend a theme... just back to being the way we were, really (She's not really into fashion or trends and our friendship is the type that she will send a pic to ask if what she's wearing is alright or not). Her mum and i have been comparing notes, cos the wedding is in Lagos. Note that i didn't ask her what the reason for her long silence was.
Since then she's been back to calling me to help her with her cake design, fabric selection, asoebi colours, sending me pics to recommend a theme... just back to being the way we were, really (She's not really into fashion or trends and our friendship is the type that she will send a pic to ask if what she's wearing is alright or not). Her mum and i have been comparing notes, cos the wedding is in Lagos. Note that i didn't ask her what the reason for her long silence was.
I didn't want to ruin the vibe cos its celebration time. However she mentioned that her boo 'doesn't really like friends' and her folks are the best cos they are handling 'everything', while we were talking about preparations. She also mentioned something about exhausting her savings as sacrifice.
A part of me feels she didn't tell me cos she didnt want my opinion. And truthfully, its okay to not want my opinion cos its her life at the end of the day. But.... after this chronicle, i fear that that might be my friend in a few years - or even worse. She's my very good friend ( i mean, we both made our parents become friendly cos of how 'chummy' we were growing up) and shes a good good person. Stella this girl has a pure heart. But, It's hard for me to say anything because:
1. I wasn't asked so I should naturally mind my business abi?
Okay. If i decide to cross that line....
2. I'm unmarried (though 2 years younger)
3. She might think I'm jealous cos I'm yet to announce my own date.
4. She's clearly crazy about this guy and may want to have 'none of it'.
5. Frankly speaking, my friend is the definition of 'holy'. In her books i need a daily dose of Jesus to cleanse from my 'worldliness'. Which in actual fact is just me losing my virginity as an undergrad (breaking our deal-lol), having a few relationships, loving my red wine and not being a people pleaser. She never fails to remind me every time about these, so she wont take advice from someone who isn't as 'spiritually upright' as her.
A part of me wants to suck it up and respectfully carry on being a part of the wedding. Another part of me wants to have her back, just like old times. I would hate to hear that she was deceived. Or at least confirm that she has asked the right questions. She said she met him in church cell group. I'm hoping he has become born again now, shedding off his previous lifestyle/reputation.
What do you suggest, Stella?
A part of me feels she didn't tell me cos she didnt want my opinion. And truthfully, its okay to not want my opinion cos its her life at the end of the day. But.... after this chronicle, i fear that that might be my friend in a few years - or even worse. She's my very good friend ( i mean, we both made our parents become friendly cos of how 'chummy' we were growing up) and shes a good good person. Stella this girl has a pure heart. But, It's hard for me to say anything because:
1. I wasn't asked so I should naturally mind my business abi?
Okay. If i decide to cross that line....
2. I'm unmarried (though 2 years younger)
3. She might think I'm jealous cos I'm yet to announce my own date.
4. She's clearly crazy about this guy and may want to have 'none of it'.
5. Frankly speaking, my friend is the definition of 'holy'. In her books i need a daily dose of Jesus to cleanse from my 'worldliness'. Which in actual fact is just me losing my virginity as an undergrad (breaking our deal-lol), having a few relationships, loving my red wine and not being a people pleaser. She never fails to remind me every time about these, so she wont take advice from someone who isn't as 'spiritually upright' as her.
A part of me wants to suck it up and respectfully carry on being a part of the wedding. Another part of me wants to have her back, just like old times. I would hate to hear that she was deceived. Or at least confirm that she has asked the right questions. She said she met him in church cell group. I'm hoping he has become born again now, shedding off his previous lifestyle/reputation.
What do you suggest, Stella?
Tell her. Damn the consequences and tell her. No matter what people will call you do the right thing. Even if she ends up with him you've done your path as a good friend and as a sister's keeper. I followed this same advice I'm giving you and even if I got slapped this morning for telling on the stupid girl, I would do it all over again. Because if I were in the shoes of the person being deceived, I'll be more hurt that people knew I was entering fire and let me get burnt. I wish you well.
ReplyDelete*part
DeleteSend her an anonymous message detailing everything you have learnt about this man.in that anonymous message, urge her to dig digger about her hubby to be.chances are she will run to you to help her find out more. Let her go into that marriage informed.
DeleteI know you are not jealous dear.I have a friend who only attracts yeye fuck boys.she fights me when I warn her but layer cry on my shoulders when it crumbles..
Remember her in your prayers but don't give her unsolicited advice. She may take it wrongly.
Show her the messages where the 3 people said those things about her future husband
DeleteBring your cheek lemme rub it for you, sorry!
DeleteThe truth is that deep down she knows that all is not well with her bobo, for her to keep it coded. Girls like this are not smart sorry to say, they only learn the hard way and that is from experience. Keep your mouth shut just be there for her when shit hits the fan.
DeleteNne I never ever comment but please listen to Happyheart. All the best.
DeletePoster, I feel you. Please, just send her a link to this post later in the night when ppl don comment finish. If you don't and she finds out in future, then she will be more heartbroken knowing that the marriage could have been avoided. The guy will just disvirgin her, chop her money n parents money. And possibly be cheating on her with someone he really loves
DeleteShe did not tell you initially becuase she does not want your opinion. Her parents that are suppose to give her brain reset by doing background check have failed in their duties because they want a son in law. If you tell her just be prepared to loose your friendship on the spot. I have been a victim of something like this in the past and I lost the friendship(s). Today both ladies regret it but it was rather too late cause kids where already involved. One left the marriage while the other is still patching it up. Based on experince I did just ignore and pray for her daily.
DeleteI am going through the same thing right now ooo
DeleteMy childhood friend also my best friend is seeing one yeye Gold Digger (she's very wealthy an heiress )
I've been trying to hint her but she's not having it at all.right now as I type they've travelled to go get married in some type of destination wedding without me or her mom knowing about it .
Hmmm may God he with her.
My friend stay ya lane... except you want make dem talk sey you wan spoil the marriage.
DeleteLike a BV said up there...send her an anonymous message telling are all you heard about her husband to be. If possible, extract the comments of those people and send to her tΓ²o.
DeletePls better stay your lane. If you keep helping and rescuing her how will she learn and be independent?
DeleteLeave her abeg... Na her business
DeletePoster pls tell the parent esp the father to investigate the young man.
DeleteIf you have access to her parents or any family member of hers, talk to them with evidence.
ReplyDeleteBetter to do so than keep quiet.
Yes poster,tell her parents or send them this link.
DeleteI don't know if you should but know this, if he hasn't really changed and then if it finally goes down hill and you eventually tell her what you know she will hate you forever for letting her go through it all, but I know if you tell her now she will not like it but atleast she will have it at the back of her mind, and when they fall out she will know you told her
DeleteMehn gold digging men full Abuja. Dem know expensive things pass most women sef, it helps them spot their target. I pray your friend has not fallen into the wrong hands o.
DeleteJealousy alert. Abeg swerve. That you are 2 years younger doesn't mean you don't want to be married after all you're the one who knows guy in and out. How come 3 people you know know this same guy in a world of 7 billion people. Mind your business, if she is all you've described, the God she serves will not let it work if this man is bad luck.
DeletePoster,this is a bomb waiting to explode!...
ReplyDeleteTruth is,there is nothing you will tell her now that would make her change her mind about that bobo!..
But I would advise you still tell her for formalities...
If it's me,that's what I would do!!...
The guy don hammer Mugu!!...
Choi!...
Oh happy day! Linda used her medicine! Though I know it won't last!
Delete@Anon gangster you got it all wrong, this simply means Linda did not take her meds coz she's nt herself right now...check am naa
DeleteSo when she uses her meds she's crazy, but when she misses a dose or 2 she's a bit normal? Aren't you he meds meant to help her condition!? Furiously scratching my head!
DeleteThe things you people use to joke!!!!π
DeleteMy dear please let her marry that man, your own prayer now is for her to have at least 2kids even if the marriage will break up. She think she's getting old without a man, so there's nothing you will say that will go down well with her.
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Yes I agree with you. Please suck it up, no need to voice your concerns at this late stage
DeleteSo she should raise a gene of a terrible guy really ?
DeleteMind your business
DeleteHmmmmmm,sensitive,tell her anonymously with proves
ReplyDeleteTry and tell her ,give her proof ,if u cant then tell her parents.
ReplyDeleteMy dear. If you value the friendship, just keep your mouth shut. I had a similar experience in uni. My best friend, holy , virgin with a pure heart Fell in love with a cult guy who was also a womaniser and a woman beater. He put up an act as a born again sotay he follow my friend dey do morning cry for uni. When I found out and told her,she told people that I was jealous of her, next thing all my friends wore ashoebi for her wedding, I was not even invited. Na so the friendship end. We met 4 years later after she had seperated from the man with an added bonus of goneorrhea..even though she tried to get us back together it was just not the same again plus I was now married with 2kids so was my turn for shakara. In retrospect ,I should have kept my mouth shut. We would have remained close and the marriage would have still ended without sacrificing my friendship...I HAVE SPOKEN
ReplyDeleteYou are π― correct no need for advice
DeleteThat's cowardice, I'm sorry. We don't regrer diing the right things because other people lack wisdom. I'll do the right thing just because! I don't need your or anyone's acceptance or pat on the back, I need God's approval!
DeleteJust so you know, knowing how to do a good thing and refusing to do it is a sin!
Please don't tell her o
DeleteLet her make the mistakes and learn from it else you will be loosing your friendship with her
Uh uh!
ReplyDeleteDon't be a wet blanket!
Wet blankets put out fires!
DeleteDo not I repeat do not say anything to her. She is an adult and can make her decisions..the last thing u need is someone blaming you for remaining single at 40 while u found love urself..pray for her and wish her well finish..I know how pple's good intentions backfire in their faces for this our naija..
ReplyDeleteI hope she listens to those saying do not tell her, wetin she no learn as young girl, she go learn for old age
DeletePoster don't say anything and if you should, please do it anonymously.
DeleteYou have to think of the best way to tell her. As her good friend you should know how since you're used to helping her with this kinda issues only this is more serious then leave the rest to God. Pray for her,pray about the situation.
ReplyDeleteTell her if you can't get someone to do it. Find unknown person or use private number to call her. Tell her before is too late
ReplyDeleteOlybekee
Amawbia ugbo ogiriga
Erm, did you say you, poster, have a BIG problem? Adongerit! Your bestie abandoned you and is now about to marry a golddigging fraudster? Yet you have a BIG problem??
ReplyDeleteTell her, if she was about to drink poison you would smack it out of her hand wouldn't you? This isn't different, marrying this guy may cost her her life.
I'm curious, don't mind me, you're 28, but are you opposite of her... Ugly, poor, countless body count, satanist or worse atheist, olodo, jobless etc...!??
Cos if you're not I like that your friend's happiness interests you, or you wouldn't have sent this. Except its made up like I suspect most chronicles are.
Sunday Asun and big stout on my mind.
This is a matter of your conscience being free. If you do not say it, you lock yourself in a huge prison for years to come. When your friend burns her hands, she will come to you sulking and you too will be sulking.
ReplyDeleteIf you tell her exactly what happened in your dp and she cuts you off, do not feel bad. Get on with her if she allows. When she comes back in the future, do not withhold your affection from her.
Another person whom you can tell the details if she puts you off is her mom. She needs to know what is happening between you both; your mom too.
Do not interfere know such matter please. I did and got sacked as a friend for the reason. Now it's me and myself oooo.
ReplyDeleteNope. Tell her parents instead. That is if the parents r understanding o. Then they should make their findings.
ReplyDeleteOr rather, tell your parents and they should tell her parents and start their finding before it gets late.
How can a man sit down comfortably and decide to be a gold digger? I just don't get it o
If this guy has "become born again" like you suggested, he needs to do restitution for those he allegedly ripped off in car deals. If he doesn't own up, then ???? your friend's fingers will surely be burnt and she will learn the hard way.
ReplyDeleteOnce the topic is "marriage" ladies' brains gets frozen.
Don't say anything because you will be called jealous. She will make her own mistakes and learn from them, you are not her guidian angel.
ReplyDeleteMind ur business...and just have it in ur mind if this marriage go south or north she will always blame u for her marriage woes...
ReplyDeleteThis is tough ......let me read comments.
ReplyDeletePoster.... DON'T YOU DARE TELL HER ANYTHING!!! If you value this friendship don't even try it. She ex- communicate you before for making decisions for her. If you try to tell her about this new development in her relationship, she we tag you a witch, jealous friend, and enemy of progress. Pray for her you hear? That's the only thing you can do for her right now. DON'T TELL HER!!!
ReplyDelete@just Bella.
Don't tell her anything cos the planning is already on, just pray for her.
ReplyDeleteSend her this link in d evening so she can read
ReplyDeleteMrs considerator, madam good friend, please let your friend make her own mistakes and learn. Why are you being too concerned is it your marriage. Everytime she finds a man you run background checks for her and all you must find faults. I think she has realized it hence her evasiveness. Please pray for her and wish her. Because at the rate at which you find faults with your investigations, she will never get married. Please bud off see as you carry her matter for head like gala. No man is perfect abeg. Let her follow her heart. Abi you get any good man for her. See me see vexing, had it been u said one good thing about any of the men I would have said OK tell her but this your own every man is bad.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous have vexed, lol. Had a friend like that growing up, she condemned every guy that ever asked me out, now she's a baby mama for a guy that's still staying in a face me I face you with his parents and 5 siblings. Poster I can bet you think you're dating a perfect man, no human being is perfect. Please mind your business, sometimes it's good for people to make mistakes so they can learn from it. You strike me as someone who finds faults easily and I think she noticed it and started avoiding you, please face your relationship and if you don't have a man yet, God will send you yours. Close your mouth and wish your friend the very best.
DeleteE tire as not 1 or 2 but 3 people on her BBM know this guy. This friend is just jealous. Face your life.
DeleteLol Anon 15.48
DeleteEven though you were quite harsh, you have a point.
Poster I know you meant well, but please mind your business. In matters of the heart our desires are different. Stop ASSUMING you know wats best for your friend cos even you don't know wats best for you.
You see this life, it is very very spiritual and deep. Destiny knows how to merge people to whom society assumes is wrong for them.
Let her be. If she's on the wrong part, she will learn from her mistakes.
Please focus on your friendship with her, not her lovelife. Infact, you shouldn't have over looked the long silence. That's where you have more business so you don't wake up someday to a longer silence.
Worse off, ask her if she is truly happy with the choice she made and did a little finding before accepting this hubby. If she says yes, let her be.
Since she's a strong christrian as you said, God will not mislead her...
Poster,
ReplyDeletePlease, leave her alone and be happy for her. Can you not see that she didn't seek your opinion on her marriage decision? By Ε₯he way, have you confirmed that the guy in question did all your contacts mentioned? As if we don't know how peeps spew trash online about people they don't even know? And even if the guy did all that, do you know if he's a changed person? Abeg free her and let them be. People can learn from experiences, just continue to genuinely pray for her. In life, 'good women' end up with 'bad men' and vice versa. Let them be and face your own life afterall, SHE IS 30.
It does not concern you! Mind your business! Dont tell her or else you will lose the friendship even her parents will warn her to stir clear off you. Let her make the mistake and learn from it instead of making a fool of yourself. This is marriage and not boyfriend. The fact that she even went silent on you for some yrs after relocating to Abuja shows she was becoming uncomfortable with you meddling in her affairs, she wanted to be her own woman and take decisions for herself.
ReplyDeletePoster don't say anything to your friend, a lot of women becomes foolish when it comes to love (forget all the noise most women make on social media).
ReplyDeleteI will only advice you find a way to speak to her parents about your findings but, it must be with proof. Don't allow your friend to fall into fire when you're aware that her enemy has already gathered woods waiting to lit it.
Some, girls sha knows how to fall foolishly for men.
Such an advice from an old woman like you. What a wawuu. So if she tells her parents and the girl sticks to her decision, you will applaud her for causing commotion between the girl and her parents right.
DeleteI maintain this girl is jealous and went digging for the info above which are not truly correct. No 3 people contacted her. If he is so notorious then a lot more people should know him and not just your 3 BBM contacts. How come no one has given any info to your friend? Abi are you the only friend in this whole world? Don't her parents know people who know people? The man had a failed engagement, so what??? Go and find your own mr perfect. Let the God she serves lead her right not you and envious friend
18.44 best comment.
Delete3 of your friends know him but none of her mother's, sister's, brother's, father's, neighbour's friends know him to hint your friend or her family members abi. Liar oshi. Stay away from the wedding if it's paining you that she's about to marry
Mind your business, even if you tell her she'll not believe you. Let her learn on her own and don't ruin her happiness, he might have changed for the better
ReplyDeleteFind a way to tell her anonymously
ReplyDeleteAnd yes, even if you went ahead to her your hearsay story, and she decided to continue with the marriage, dont you know that you will eagerly be waiting for the collapse of their marriage?
ReplyDeleteI have a good friend that showed me her fiance few years back. On seeing the man, I felt he should not be single at His age but i could not teΔΊl my friend. Why? Bc i was married. ...she was almost 40yrs and she really loved this man. After few days, i told her to pls be sure she did her homework about the man's genuiness in marrying her. She confirmed that the man has taken her to his hometown to meet his parents and that her brother also did checks on this man.
Months later, she told me that the man confessed to have been married for years with no child yet. I advised her not to go on with the relationship but some weeks later, she called and informed me she will marry the man. He promised to follow her to her city leaving the first wife in another city.
What I mean is that adults should be allowed to take their decisions. You can only give advice as a friend/well-wisher.
Poster you may just call her and ask her that you hope she is sure she knows the man enough to spend the rest of her life with him. NO NEED OF SPILLING WHAT YOU HEARD OF FELT. She will be fine.
Part of me would have wanted you to t ell her but I think she also doesn't want your opinion thats why she only just told you about the wedding.
ReplyDeleteI will advice you stay quiet with her but since your parents and hers are friendship,you should be able to tell her mom.
My dear, you have to allow her make her own mistakes. Something similar happened to me a few years ago only that the rake in question is my brother. My brother is such a terrible person but somehow this young, beautiful and gullible girl fell in love with him a medical doctor at that. Was looking for how I will tell this girl but they got married about 5 years ago with three kids. Till date the girl has never complained for once. They seem to be more in love than ever. I know this might not always be the case but you must allow her make her own mistakes and pray for the best.
ReplyDeleteYou should let her know about your findings even though she might not adhere to it. At least you told her. I know is hard and she might hate you for it. Or see you as a spoiler but its better than keeping such from her. Good friends always are always there for each other no matter what and as such you have a responsibility to tell her when you know d path she is taking might be wrong for her. All she has to do is listen to you and pray about it to get direction and guidance from God. If you don't tell her your conscience will never be at peace esp. If she encounters trouble or issues that would threaten her happiness and future. Well is up to u to make d right decision. I have said my own
DeleteThis poster is Chikito.Though two years ago she told us she was 28.hmmmm.....Send her an email with a new address and ask her to confront him about money he owes,his arrests and past engagement.This might create doubts in her mind and make her investigate him further.
ReplyDeleteP.O.V
Am i the only 28 year old on this blog? This is how obsession starts and you dont even know. Biko harder to joing the FBI you failed woefully on this attempt.
DeleteSo chikito you are 28 and you say you are happily single??? Hmmm ife me me
DeleteWetin chikito do u Ds evening
DeleteLet me give you my humble advice. You have ONE option.And it's simple....Keep your mouth SHUT!!!
ReplyDeleteAnd this is my reasons ....You were just informed when your friend has made up her mind to spend her life with him. If she needed your advice she would have told you the new guy she was dating. Maybe your friend even feel you keep discouraging her from dating by helping her in digging into her potential boyfriend's past. Like you said that you are not a saint so who made you judge and jury.
She is old enough and incidentally even older than you so I feel you should just back off and let her start taking responsibility for her actions. Think she has been over pampered and protected by everyone for too long.
Yes you heard a lot of the guys dirty deals.....what if he is changed or will change with her. If this is God's turn around chance for him and he is also ready to do all to make it work. You will end up messing up his chances of a new life. Pray for them, support them in your own little way, be happy for them and wish them well. Let God lead and direct their lives. It's too late for you to interfere now. Don't be the third wheel. God help and give you the grace to let go and just be a well wished.
# come back and thank me later.
Phew! Thanks for saving my knuckles. Make i go find food chop biko. Nothing like Sunday afternoon sleep πͺ
Delete#The older you grow, the more quiet you become. Life humbles you gradually as you age. You realize how much nonsense you've wasted time on*
ReplyDeleteππ
DeleteTell ur friend...if smething hppens eventually u will never forgive urself and she won't forgive u too.
ReplyDeleteThe only reason why you shouldn't tell her is if you are making this up...Shalom
@ Amunidara Got bless you for your comment.
DeleteAm surprised and disappointed reading the comments telling the poster to mind her business. Haba. Who wants a broken marriage? Who wants to get it wrong? No one even though it happens. If we have more people speaking out we will have less divorces.
Dear poster, pls pray and pray.
Pray that God will expose this guy for who he is to your friend.
Pray, that he will make a slip if he is the wrong man for her and that your friends eyes be opened to see the reality.
Pray that God will give her courage to accept the truth.
When my younger sister was to marry, I as her elder sister wasn't married then. We were not quite comfortable with him but couldn't put a finger. Date had been fixed, dowry had been paid. We prayed for 3 days with a fast that if this was not God's will, the man should call it off.
The guy, called to cancel it over a flimsy reason. After the wedding had been announced in church.
Well my sister took it in good stride, that year she got scholarship abroad and left for her Master degree. Met her hubby there and today she is happy with 2 boys.
Sister join hands with your mum and pray for her. Ask the Lord for a leading to talk to her. But don't keep quiet about this in anyway you can. May God help you and give you wisdom.
Ask the Lord to expose this man for who he is.
Poster look for an alternative means like sending an anonymous text, that way you put in an effort to save her and still not meddle directly to save your friendship.
ReplyDeletePoster tell her anonymously, I'm sure she will contact you. But if she doesn't contact her anonymously but this time around make sure you are around her when u send the message, so that she can confide in you easily or you request for her phone at that moment and snoop, then confront her over the anonymous message.
ReplyDeleteTell her. The people saying don't tell don't know what it's like to have someone crying to them about something they could gave prevented
ReplyDeletePlease poster,let your friend make her own mistakes and live with them. Of she's 'stupid' enough to want to marry a man she doesn't know well enough,let it be so! Don't forget you guys are just coming back together after a falling out.
ReplyDeleteTalk to your friend about your findings.
ReplyDeleteMind your business abeg,just pray for her to find out her own way.. Someone that didn't tell u when she started seeing d guy,u want to come and give her bad news. Omo dey ur lane nd drink ur red wine.
ReplyDeleteborn again my foot. pple don't change.
ReplyDeletemoreover if he has changed y will he b allowing d lady foot d bills him no get shame? if no money y can't u wait till d money comes.
anyhow sha dis same thing happened to my sis. now she has two kids with a chronic wife beater as a husband and due to her spirikoko she no won comot DAT God doesnt want separation. nasote to day lock d man for police cell for day which eventually he comes out from.
tell ur friend d truth and live d rest for God. the are something's DAT are simply above our power as human to control
Don't tell her, leave her to make her own decisions & mistakes! She's an adult mehn! What if it was after the wedding you found out, will you tell your friend to divorce him? What if those people lied about the guy? What if he's changed? So many what ifs, what ifs! She has made her choice (either good/bad) & she will definitely live with it! We learn from out mistakes! It's time for her to be matured! You can't & won't keep making decisions for her or being there for her! You've tried! In fact, it's too late now... So, keep praying for her & keep praying for God's intervention! That was his my Bestie fell for a short, dark, broke ass & ugly guy! I was devastated, but now, they have the best marriage, has a good job now even looking handsome ππππππ. A word is enough for the wise!
ReplyDelete... Jesus is my worth!
Buahahhahahahaaahahaha. Sorry its funny but they ended well
DeleteMy comments might look stupid.Please don't tell her.In life, God intentionally design for people to make mistake before they are wise.Experience is the best teacher.If she doesn't learn now she will still make mistake in life.From the description of her, she naive and needed to wise up.Please start praying in advance that her mistake would not cost her life but rather make her a strong and wise woman.
ReplyDeleteOkay. Thanks for your comment. Thanks to everyone who commented as well. It has given different perspectives
DeleteThis is hard o. Still I suggest u let it go,let her have her hearts desire . If the man fucksup later u can be there to comfort her.
ReplyDeleteHmmm like i know of my friend's hubby is cheating on her so i will go and tell her when i dont know what my owm husband is doing at my back.Keep your mouth shut you sound envious and yes i said it.I had a terrible maid my motherinlaw knew her history she refuse to tell us and the girl manifested and ran away before she spilled.
ReplyDeleteMost times allow people to learn the hard way so it sticks for a life time.Some people hate the truth so shut your mouth.
Hi poster, get a friend's BBM or if you can afford it buy another phone with bbm and whatsapp, add her up and send her your proof. That way you are saving her without ruining your friendship.
ReplyDeleteHa this comment here.
ReplyDeleteI beg you! I beg you poster. Ignore about whatever will happen to you twos relationship and FREE your conscience.
If she says you are jealous fine, you've said your own let her go in and find out for herself that she is been used. Should she decide to go ahead at least let it not be you never told her.
If you told her and she decides to end the relationship. She would thank you later when she meets the one.
So you really do not have anything to lose but in the end you'll be gaining .
I beg you! Free your mind, tell the truth. Be that friend who she think you are, one who will have her back no matter what. Ignore what everyone will say.
Let her be! Even my sister stopped talking to me when I tried to tell her about her fiancΓ© then four years later he married a neighbour
ReplyDeletePoster don't be stupid. You can't tell her. Her wedding is in a month! Even if u tell her what good will it do? She should break up with him ? Go in to the marriage with this heavy baggage on her heart, doubting his every move?
ReplyDeleteI beg if u want to be a good friend, Jeje-ly leave her only in her blissful ignorance.
Be supportive. Help with Aso-Ebi selection etc. But, for goodness sake SHUT your mouth or risk being labelled the jealous friend.
Poster let me tell you a story and i will make it very brief.
ReplyDeleteBefore my pastor got married to his wife people where suprised and they said a lot,why?Because my pastor's wife was a very wild woman before they started dating,you needed to have seen her and her dressing.She wears about 5earings on each ear,had a nose ring,today she'll dye her hair gold,tomorrow red,next tomarrow purple.Her life style was something els,it was so bad that where ever or when ever she passes everybody must look and talk but she was the one God chose for my pastor but people didn't know that.
Alot of things were said against my pastor then and his wife was not left out,many condemnd them.But do you know what eventually happened after the marriage?she changed,no more dyeing of her hair,no nose ring,heavy makeup,crazy dressing etc.My pastor was able to change her and it wasn't difficult because God was involved,she's now a very strong woman of God.What are my trying to say?You might not know if their getting married is God's will so she can change him and draw him closer to God.
I understand you alright poster but all you need to do is pray for her and then if it isn't God's will,leave her let her learn from her mistake.
Please tell her. Telling her may be the end of your friendship temporarily but I can tell you she would look back later and thank you for being a good friend.
ReplyDeleteposter don't tell her anything cos she knws there's something wrong about her relationship that's why she cut u off for sometime, just play along wish her well & don't show any sign of hating or suspecting her fiancee else the man can even cut u both off cos that her husband to be is manipulative, he has not change One bit that's why ur chick told you that her man don't like friends, she feel she is getting old, h her parents needs a son inlaw. don't tell anybody she has the situation sort out without you just play ur part, wish her & her husband to be well & move on.
ReplyDelete