Na wah!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
UNROMANTIC AND CHEATING HUSBAND
DH and I are based abroad but DH has been there for seven years, I just joined him last year September after our wedding .
so here is the thing BV's my husband is a serial cheat. I have been suspecting him of cheating on me so I snooped and i saw series of messages he has been exchanging with different girls and he has been sleeping with some of them and we are trying to conceive Stella...
There is this dating site on his phone which I know that is where he gets them from so I cried and yelled and begged him which he promised he will stop but rather he got smarter...he changed his password so I don't have access to his phone no more but I still see the notifications and sometimes he chats on the dating sites thinking I don't know what he is doing..
Stella my marriage is still new but this man is always in possession of condoms which we don't use because we are trying to conceive and his cheating lifestyle is affecting our sexual life which seems like am always the one begging for intimacy during my fertile period and I have gone to the hospital and the doctors confirm I am perfectly fine that I should just wait for God's time.
So here is the thing I want to go back to school because my father is ready to sponsor my education but he convinced me to try having a baby first so with all his real self he is showing me now I am thinking of quitting trying to conceive and get busy with my life.
I don't want my whole life to depend on this man because I don't want to cheat on him so I want to work and be an independent woman and time shall tell by then if I can cope with him or dump his ass because I don't want to get trapped by him.
Run run run. Herpes is real o.
ReplyDeleteHahahahaha usher see your life o
DeleteChai your friends are envious of you when you relocated to join your horseband in the abroad not knowing you are suffering and smiling same time.
ReplyDeleteTell your dad the truth what is going on between you and your horseband and please since you want to go back to school, goodluck to you because you will get another man there that will love you.
Did you guys court before you joined him or is it through facebook una meet? na question oo
Firstly poster,
ReplyDeleteSettle your spiritual husband!...he is the one responsible for your husband's cheating behavior and your inability to get pregnant!..
Don't live in ignorance,that shit is real!!...
Then,
Work on your husband's head spiritually so he can be doing as you said!!...
This is an advise I will give to my blood sister!...
Correct women these days no dey go into marriage without spiritual back up!!...
Jesus!
DeleteYour advice on topics like this are always %100 lit! I still keep saying it, before u decide to settle down with a man please go for cleansing and work on the man without him knowing! There are thousands of men out there who vowed never to cheat on their wife before or after marriage !hey BUT there are millions of young ,old, single and married women who uses jazz to attract men (fact) some ladies ,all their makeups are being work on spiritually to attract men and if your husband ain't that strong in spirit on his own THEN he falls on their traps YAKATA and if he's rich FORGET it cause these ladies ain't letting him go easily. .... While on the other hand, your spiritual husband will do everything and anything to 4strate u out of that marriage! Either by making him POOR or they make him turn to a serial cheats.... prayer is the key yaah I know and I believe too. But😷
DeleteLindodo the spiritual woman, I hail thee
DeleteLol
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteMy chest!
Kai LE.
Haaa.....pls how do I work on my man's head. I need to do something fast before this mosquito legged girl takes him from me. Abeg make una help me
DeleteThis your rant @"Queer and boos of this blog" is becoming a clanging cymbal and too noisy. You go dibia, babalawo, witch doctor, native and you chant Christ and daddy in the lord, which lord?
DeleteYour motive is simply to mislead gullible women as you are enduring a lot in what you call marriage. It's a pity.
Spirituality get level, poster choose the positive one oo
DeleteJesu! 😂😂 Queen ooh
Delete@ Queen & Monkey...whoever pays any attention to both of you might as well made tea with cynaide and tie a rope round his/her neck and drown. What rubbish is working on your husband spiritually? Is marriage by force? Na so una go dey jump from one place to another and invoke what you don't know on an innocent man. If you have trust issues, leave the man alone & continue to hunt for the one you can trust. Na una type go carry person picture go place on some evil altar in a bid to "lock" him down & you end up attracting legions of demons into your marriage and household
DeleteOccupation....firing squad! Smart ass
DeleteQueen what happened? I thought you'll tell her to knack pigeon on his head.
DeleteOnly if it's not allowed to attend classes while pregnant over there, if there's nothing like that, please go and further your education since your dad is ready to sponsor you, moreover, the pregnancy is not forth showing, please don't let him tie you down doing nothing. Once you enroll yourself now, you will see how jealous he will become, and you won't have time for snooping on him again. You need to get yourself busy asap
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Like Larry said, get yourself busy. The reason why you are bothered is because you have nothing doing right now. My dear if you can get a job, do ASAP and ignore what your husband is doing. When you start interacting with other people he will get jealous and he will come around. My dear abroad husband no easy oh especially when they get there before their wives join them, for sure with the loneliness and the weather will cheat. But with you being around and he still does that then there is problem. My dear go on your knees and let God direct you in this marriage and also get yourself busy.i wish you all the best.
DeleteU live abroad, go to school get a job, try advanced methods for having a baby.
ReplyDeleteMy dear please go back to school, imagine a man cheating when your boobs and tummy is still beautiful talkless of when you start having babies.. Dont leave him because the next man might not be better.. But make sure you go back to school or start a job even if its small. Babies will come...
ReplyDeleteI'm beginning to buy into the notion that all men cheat!I no marry again abeg.HIV is real!
ReplyDeleteWhy u no go marry? My dear marriage sweet ooooo only if u smart and also wen u know the right thing to do before u work him down the aisle . Na for u to sit down begin enjoy! E dey hard before dog bite he owner! Na prick wey raise for another woman body dey enter toto oooo
DeleteWhat's the right thing to do before walking down the aisle?
DeleteYou waited until after wedding to snoop. Do you want us to tell you to leave him or what? Why are you even desperately trying to have a baby with someone who doesn't respect his vows? Do you think a baby will change him? If this isn't sorted out now it will never get better when you get pregnant or have a baby.
ReplyDeleteYou already have your next points of actions planned out. This is why it's good to be an achiever as a young and single lady instead of letting a marriage define you and your goals. How does a baby stop you from getting an education if a baby is what is so important at this point, don't people school while pregnant abi pregnancy na disease? When you get pregnant now next excuse would be wait till after baby starts school and before you know it you're 50 while baby Is now an adult and out of your home.
You better do what makes you happy and stop doing people's bidding.
......"Do you think a baby will change him? If this isn't sorted out now it will never get better when you get pregnant or have a baby."
DeleteI dnt totally agree wt u on this doppelganger, SOME men really do CHANGE when they start having kids. Yes,they see their wives,d pains she went thru before/during childbirth n can't just but love them more....
I hv seen someone who was a chronic cheat but stopped immediately his wife had their first child. Till today....
Poster, I advice u go bck to sch, get a job in addition if possible n get busy wt ur life. Ur husband will come around wen he sees ur basking n becoming a better person he will feel jealous sef.
If pregnancy is allowed while schooling fine.
Let him know you want to move on.he sees that you are at his mercy,you want a child and will do everything to have one,which means he will keep cheating and asking for forgiveness cos you need a child with him.let him know you are done
ReplyDeleteGo to school, at least your dad is ready to sponsor you.you need to do what makes you happy and since your husband is not ready to give you that,make yourself happy dear cos you will end up losing at the tail end,without a certificate and probably,an infection plus baby mamas everywhere for him
Hmmm Dear Poster: Let me tell you that having a baby will solve the problem or trying to a child to salvage his cheating ways will not work..But baby girl you saw the signs in that man before you married him, so you cant deny it..Well like Linda Queen and boss of this blog will say ''you have to find a way to chain your dog''..Am really speechless and just tired of this same issue with man and wife..
ReplyDeletePlease move on with ur life. Go back to school. Get carreer. Get busy. This marriage was dead on arrival. Pls move on. If not he will keep on with Ds n make u miserable even with kids. U will end up regretting not leaving now.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, pls leave the baby thing and go to school to secure your future. Unfortunately I don't think your husband has your best interest at heart. He wants to trap you with a baby ans dependent on him.
ReplyDeleteHope that those of you chanting "a man must earn this to qualify to marry me " can see the result. No character analysis before marriage, no emotional, spiritual or mental maturity. She set her ideals on "abroad". Forget about any other reason adduced here. Now the chronicles are pouring in! Please educated folks, reason objectively and not with your greed tainted vagina and penises.
ReplyDeleteNoticed you on different posts. What are you bitter and on about, biko?
DeleteAnon calm your tities or your throbbing dick depending on your gender.
DeleteThat post was specific on EARNINGS fit for a man as he plans on marriage. The bottom line of the post dwells on "comfort"
Not
Character attributes/traits or attitude of spouses.
If he is not ready to change and you know you cannot cope, its better you end the marriage right now since there is no bond (a child)that may make it difficult just yet.
ReplyDeleteIt all depends on how much you can take. It all depends on your happiness. Do you think you can cope with his cheating from this very beginning of your marriage till God knows when?
If no, walk now.
And for those that will come and say all men cheat, that is a big lie. Not all. Poster don't allow anyone tell you to die there as all men do such. Not all...there are still God fearing, loyal men out there.. just that they ain't as much as the prick wandering ones.
Please work it out. Like you said your marriage is too early for this, you don't have to leave him because of this issue. No marriage is perfect but the ability for couples to put more efforts in it makes it a good marriage. It is well with your marriage and may you conceive with ease and carry your babies.
ReplyDeleteNa real wa, what do men really want
ReplyDeleteThey prefer someone that can turn them into correct MUMU /MUGU
DeletePoster, you better be very careful! Did you even date/court your husband before getting married to him or are you one of those girls that vow to marry someone from the abroad?
ReplyDelete99 percent of Nigerian men abroad cheats on their wives, disrespect, disregard them and do so many other unimaginable things to their wives (women are not exempted)
If your dad is ready to sponsor your education, i'll advice you go back to school, do your course because with the way things are, I don't see you getting pregnant soon.
Don't even try to argue with him or fight him. Do the things you want to do peacefully, so that you will be able to achieve your aim.
Don't forget to always pray.
Good luck.
This local woman aka Mrs R will always come here blabbing rubbish when she is so ignorant. 99%??? Wao madam did they cheat with you or with your friends? Abeg polish up your English since you obviously are very good in mathematics and keeping statistics. And while at it, get a job as it it shameful to have grown up women live on a blog 24/7
DeleteSorry Mrs R, what part of the earth did they dig you from? 99percent of men abroad cheat? You are an amazing specie of a human being. Seriously?
Delete@ Mrs. R...you're just a monumental fool! If your husband cheats, don't impose your stupid and ignorant assertion on other men.
DeleteSome of you women are really laughable when it comes to marriage advice, not that I'm condoning this man cheating on his wife but if my father inlaw dabbles into my family issue like that, his daughter my wife would have to choose between staying married under my roof or going back to school in his house. That for better, for worse clause in marriage vow isn't a formality, it's the basis of marriage
Story of my life. Please dear poster, you still have time now that the babies haven't come. I urge you to pursue your education or a career, because that man will frustrate you, and he might not even make family life enjoyable for you later on. We as women are taught to be submissive and responsible and faithful to our men, but men are just told to be "men". Meaning their responsibilities is just to provide for the family. This is a terrible disease in our society because so many women(bless us) are the ones that cover our man's inadequacies and short comings. I can go on and on, but the most important thing you can give to yourself is to keep your hands and mind busy. And women, please teach your boys to be more responsible. I read a story online about a woman teaching her son how to cook and be helpful around the house, and she was being called out and especially by fellow women? Terrible. Please poster, work, school, whatever, that's very important.
ReplyDeleteIts very easy to have a good marriage especially when you have a good wife, most women are good women until men bring out the evil in them, if you make your wife happy she becomes submissive and respectful and having a happy wife equals a happy marriage, the rules are simple but men are too difficult for the easy rules. My dear go back to school build yourself, if your marital life isn't growing I think other parts should improve after all it's your father paying, if he wants a child he should act like it, he can't get you knocked up then go back out side
DeleteHmmmm Jesus take the wheel 👀👀👀👀👀
ReplyDeleteThat is what you get when you do not date the proper way but set your standard as "abroad".
ReplyDeleteI am a man, married before I want to the so called "abroad" and what some of the Nigerian men do here is appalling. Do not think you can change him when he imports you here. He has gotten stuck to his lifestyle. He was going to strip and swing clubs before you came. So dear, the hole between your legs can never accommodate that libido he had built over the years. Make up your mind what you want. Always do courtships without opening your legs and set priorities right. The liberty of the western countries has been abused as a license for iniquity.
Oga you made the most sensible comment today. Dollars/pounds/euros fall on you
DeleteGod bless you sir.
DeleteSpot on gentleman.
DeleteIn addition to the stated facts ☝️ poster, find yourself. Quit trying for babies for now, go to school and get a job so you can have extra cash should he want to send you out.
MrsBee
Poster just go back to school, concentrate more on your school for now, stop worrying too much about him and see wonders
ReplyDeleteSorry poster. This just seem crazy. I know people here will tell you not to leave him but I will say if you are not happy please leave him and go find yourself and your happiness.
ReplyDelete@ Poster, it seems your husband isn't willingly to stop seeing other women. I will advice you get busy with school like your Dad suggested, insist on using condom if you have to be intimate. Since your marriage is still young and the Doctors have confirmed that you are fertile, ignore that man before he makes you run mad. Baby will come when God says it. For now, save your strength and make yourself happy. When it gets to a point where you can't stay with him anymore, at least you will have something to fall back on. Having a child now wont stop him from cheating, for me this isn't even the right time to bring a child into a troubled home. All the best and God bless
ReplyDeleteYou said it all!
DeleteBabes,are u asking us or telling us ur intent?Cos u already know what u want...
ReplyDeletePoster Go back to school and always put your husband in prayer... God is your strength
ReplyDeletePoster also laa ya otu chalu oku, the type oga Abu ilasia ya osi gi chai!!! Biko bikonu bikozianu ilagbugom mama... By then he will have no strength left to lash otele outside..
Hahahahahahahahaha
DeleteLolz
DeletePlease accept your dads proposal to go to school...by that your concentration on your spouse will reduce. Only God can change the heart of a cheating husbsnd
ReplyDeletePoster my only advice for you is to build your self.Be a professional in what you do and ignore him totaly.Look sexy and dress well.With prayers he will definetly come back to his senses.
ReplyDeleteIf you want to wicked a cheating partner ignore his cheating spree.If makes them weak and stupid.
Hmmm...abroad husband wahala
ReplyDeleteWhat are you still doing with a cheating husband mbok?
ReplyDeleteYou want to get "Sovenir " Abi?
Okey oo
Herps fall on you Abi?
@Anonymous Orubebe
Due to loneliness, most people abroad develope a habit and most times these habits are not easy to do away with. This man did not marry you because he loved you but maybe due to pressure from family and friends.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing is the freedom of choice that he has gotten used to as well. If i were you, rather than fighting or checking on his phone, try to have a heart to heart with him, ask him why he married you and let him know what his behaviour is doing to you. His response will tell you if he values you or not.
Warning to girls wanting abroad husbands by force: AVOID AGING MEN WHETHER MARRIED BEFORE OR STILL SINGLE, THEY HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE EXCEPT MAYBE MONEY BUT WHAT IS MONEY IF THERE IS NO FEELINGS?
Due to common sense people in the abroad who develop these habits should quit when before they decide to marry. Biko.
DeleteAnon very true,all those 40smthn brodas in the abroad always get one issue or the other.
DeleteSomeone I know that got married to one is singing different songs everyday.
I don't know whether it's the fact they have stayed so long as bachelor that is the problem.
I advice ladies to avoid them or study very well before marrying them.
There is a reason they have remained single for so long. There are some good ones o. But any man 45 and above never been married,study carefully.
You made the mistake a lot of ladies do. Marrying someone in a different country without visiting. Don't know how old you are. And I hope the fact that he is a citizen of that country was not part of the attraction but reality is you are married to a stranger. I think you should focus on your education, career and settle down into the new environment. Keep an eye on him And let him know you have information about his cheating ways and you will like the two of you to go for counselling based on the fact that he is yet to let go of his bachelor's lifestyle, both of you should do a medical examination and know what the problem is. This might be a revelation to a lot of things . I hope he is willing to change but my humble suggestion is go back to school and get some legal advice. Keep your moves to yourself cause if you let him know what your plans are he might play a fast one on you cause divorce is a painful blow to a man over there.
ReplyDeleteAyam tired am beginning to believe all men cheats on their wives and the one the wife thinks he is not cheating is just smart and cover his shit well.marriage scares the hell out of me
ReplyDeleteLeave anything like babies out of your marriage for now. Until you get your marital issues sorted.
ReplyDeleteYour husband seems like an unrepentant cheat. I doubt if he can change. if you talk from now till 2mrw, he might change for a while, but he will surely go back to his cheating ways. its a part of him.
Its either God or he himself gets tired and decides to change.
The ball is in your court, you either stay, and make sure you always tax him wella, get ur further education, seek for IVF , have your baby and block him and his cheating from your mind as most Nigerian women do and enjoy your life with your kids with his money and keep praying for him to change.
Or you divorce him and start your life afresh, this time knowing a man well before marriage.
Your choice. Atleast you will have peace.
Poster......you're allowing this man you call husband take you for granted. I don't even understand how young marriage start having problems so early like this.
ReplyDeleteAre you the manufacturer of babies ni or what. If you have other means of taking care of yourself leave his cheating ass to follow whoever he want to follow and face your studies.........
In this case, education comes first. Set yourself up because wahala go soon burst.
ReplyDeletePoster you are not alone, am also in the same shoe with you, at first I tot I was the one sending this chronicles but remembered am only reading it, your husband is very close to mine but just that mine allowed me to further my education, I have decided to let things be for a while I focus more on my career and see how things go.
ReplyDeleteWhat I did was to stop worrying myself over his cheating habit instead am praying for him, i had a heart to heart discussion with him, I told him all he has been doing to me, told him I will not touch his phone again, I will not search his wallet or bag any more, I apologized and ask him we move on, now I behave am a fool that knows nothing about his cheating, he is so happy that he is playing smart while I snoop screen shoot chats and save it for my own proof someday I may need them , you will kill yourself over nothing and your husband will go and marry another wife. Just look for his best moment with you then tell him how he has hurt you all this while, apologize where you are wrong and promise to be a good wife, give him blind eyes, deef ears with his cheating life, make him believe you care less of his attitude, he will stop locking his phones and you will be snooping, getting info while you work on how to deal with him. I focus on my career, get treatment on daily basis, pray to God always to protect me, stop nagging over his cheating habit, stop using the words on him, stop confrontations over cheating, behave like you are a fool. Always give him heavy bills, always complain how you don't have money to buy even salt, keep giving him bills, dress sexy, use kayan Mata always, get his chat with the girls and do what the normally do, change your sex life with him, make things work, serve his meal always, but do not stop praying, look for what makes you happy and always make yourself Happy, if you are always depressed and angry you will find it hard to take in, relax and love yourself. Please go back to school and forget that excess about waiting for a baby first, before you get zero, do not let him know you are going back to school cos he is cheating, scope him, spoil him with his own money, never you talk about his cheating life except he brings up the topic to you. Since I stopped fighting, nagging, complaining about his cheating habit I have peace, am adding weight, anytime he want me I respond, I have focus all my energy on my school, am saving wisely, buying properties, just looking at him like a fool, someday things may change for good.
Thank you so much anon 22:09 this is the best advice so and am surely gon put that into use..God bless you and may may God continue to protect us and give us the wisdom to deal and may God change them too to good.. Thank you
DeleteHope you insist on condom when you do the do? It's wise to gather evidences on such people, it comes in handy when the time is right for you to move on. But I hope he changes too and you don't ever need the evidences. Until then, do you and live freely.
DeleteMrsBee
I will advise you concentrate more on your career, putting too much worry over your husband will kill you on time. Snoop but do not use your findings to fight him, be wise and deal with him silently. All Men are dogs so just learn how to chain yours.
ReplyDelete