Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A CONFUSED LADY
Good day Stella,
Am a regular blog visitor but I usually
don’t comment……lol. Please I really need your advice ASAP.
Here goes my long story (please bear with
me, just need to pour out my mind);
Am a lady in my late 20s’ working in one of
the south-south states (coded) as a professional surveyor in a well-known
property company.
The issue is that I want to resign and relocate to Lagos
State and my reasons are stated below;
-
Am so fed up of this my present
job, the environment is so toxic that I get angry in my spirit almost everyday.
And my colleagues can be tribalistic (am the only Yoruba while others are from
south south/east etc.).
-
Salary is not regular (even
with token they pay), imagine the last salary I collected was in January,
2017.And still the pressure is so much on the staff. All professional staff
have monthly target that can give you HBP….lol
-
Thirdly, the most important
people in my life are all in Lagos. My family/ finance are in Lagos, though had
the discussion wth my fiancé but said I should get a job in Lagos before coming.
I understand him sha because his job too is not paying well for now but very
manageable with great prospect. Mind you we are planning to settle down next
year but honestly I need a better job.
-
Am so lonely here, no friends
or family around (am an indoor person). And this is best time to get job before
marriag/ babies start coming………sigh#
Stella it’s so frustrating. Now my
question, is it reasonable to resign from your present job when you have not
gotten another one? But to me it’s even more frustrating to stay in a place
where there’s no LOVE, JOY and SATISFACTION. I really want to be happy and
enjoy life but right now am so angry that I cry myself to sleep everyday.
Though have already contacted some people
that can help me with job in Lagos, even applied to some places but still
nothing has come up yet. I don’t want to stay idle at all because it can be
dangerous….lol
Blog visitors I need your advice urgently,
so I can made up my mind before my rent expires in August (not planning to
renew sef).
Thanks all and please don’t cuss me much o.
Kisses
The Lord will fix you to a new level. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteLeave the place and go to lagos. You'll get a job in a property company and you will be happy. That's what my spirit told me.
DeletePoster, being around people you love that love you back KS very important to the mental and emotional well-being of everyone. Take it from me. I also understand the need to be occupied with a job you enjoy. Take it also from me. Being idle is disastrous. My advice is this, in balancing both, you should as much as possible gett something tangible in Lagos first. Learn a skill NOW or save up to start a little business so that you will be occupied once you get to Lagos by the end of this month pending when u get a job. Leave that job but DO NOT stay idle!!!
DeleteThe only problem I see here is nonpayment of salary
DeleteDats all
Poster Why d "lol" everywhere? Whats funny?
DeleteIts I'm not Am pls.
To the matter,working in a toxic environment like u described up there especially when d salary is neither juicy nor regular kills faster than HIV but dear in dis present economic situation that we are in now its not advisable 2 leave your job when uve not gotten a better option.
Patience is all u need n with God things will fall in place.
I tire oo... lol everywhere like wth is funny?
DeleteMake she stay dey work without salary? The last paycheck she received was in January.
DeleteWait until you have a job in Lagos before resigning.
DeleteSince you haven't been paid since January, there's a possibility that your arrears won't be paid too.
DeleteRelocate to Lagos and start up a business, no matter how small, pending when you get a good paying job.
Eeyaa...you are feeling homesick coupled with the hard job!
ReplyDeleteYou'll be fine.
Let me ask you one question. If you had met a pay master like TOKE wouldn't you be living the baby girl life. Would you even remember your Boo in lagidi. Abeg package yourself well. South South River get big fishes.
DeletePls what does your boyfriend mean by you shouldn't come home unless you get something, my dear your sanity is more important than anything right now. Home is where the heart is, we need to take a step first trusting God and He will surely do the rest, pls go home when your rent is up, if you must, you can try your hands on something while waiting but if you know you will have more patronage in lagos pls go. People can be annoying, it doesn't have anything to do with your tribe, do not also be quick to dismiss anyone. It's not like the job is all that sef, that your bf is talking shit, if he knows he can't marry you without a job he should say so, what if you get married and you loose the one you have nko, mtcheww radarada
DeleteThe last time you collected salary was January, how are you different from someone who's jobless? How are you even coping? Well, I heard a bird at hand is worth twice in bush. Chose whatsoever that makes you happy
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Twice in the bush? Una goodnight
DeleteAnonymous16:00, bwahahahaha.
Delete#lightsout
So sorry you feel this way , if you have enough money to start a small business then do for the now till you get a job .you really need to leave that environment to avoid depression proper.
ReplyDeleteWhy do people say "for the now"
DeletePriya don eat your brain finish
Sweetie resign for you sanity and peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteI was like you few months ago, I gave myself sense and Jejely carry myself commot there, even when my boss didn't pay me, I resign and I am a happy I did, try apply for those vacancies on IHN.
You will be fine dear😘😘😘😘.
Poster i was in your position a few months ago and i can tell you this from experience, a toxic environment kills you physically emotionally and spititually.
DeleteYou start to loose your self esteem and start engaging in toxic behaviours that are alien to your nature.
Truth speaking u need to start saving up and applying for jobs. And if by August u dont get a good job...QUIT and come back to lagos.
You wont die,God will take care of you...just try and save up some money to start a business or at worst survive a few months while a better job comes in.
The grass is not greener on the other side. Make sure u get another job before leaving. Even without d regular salary, am sure u still get ur share of commission shared in the office and other tips. Half a loaf of bread is better than none. U will be fine,insult does not not kill.
ReplyDelete😁 insult kills oo.
DeleteInsult kills faster than a knife. Emotional torture no be here.
Delete@anon 16.15, I have never heard of anyone who died as a result of insult.
DeletePeople can commit suicide as a result of insult.
DeleteYou have already made up ya mind na. Why asking again? Mscheeew
ReplyDeleteWhy are you rude? Bitter much! Jesus!
DeleteWell it wouldn't make sense renewing your rent since August is around the corner.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't advise anyone to put up with a job that doesn't bring them joy no matter how much they are paid and in your case, the pay isn't regular.
Persevere till your rent expires and I think landlords give a month or more grace for tenants to renew their rent. You can use that period to keep hoping for the best that something will come out from the jobs you've applied for. You also need to work on yourself and your relationship with people. Moving to Lagos doesn't mean you'd end up working with people from your ethnic group only. I'm the only non yoruba person at work and I relate fine with everyone at work. We are about 50 in my unit.
Only asking you to leave because the pay is bad and not the people because if you had made efforts you'd learn to love them. I like money a lot and I'd never give my time if I'm not getting paid well. I wish you the best.
Doppleganger...when you work in the south south/east and your not from the place or you dnt speak the language, they will treat you as an outcast
DeleteBut if u are non yoruba and you work in a company within the south west states they treat you better....so becausr you are lucky to be treated better in a south west state does not mean same measures are giving to other people in your shoes in the east or south south.
i know this from experience
Love eating P it is a big lie,
DeleteLove eating p na una worse Self am talking from experience too
DeleteSo u are looking for a place where only yorubas work issorai,i am sure ur coworkers will also have one or two reasons why they don't relate well with you, apart from ur salary ish you will have to work on your altitude please.
ReplyDeleteHer latitude too
DeleteAnon you didn't read what she wrote well.
DeleteSee you rushing to type.
Altitude ko, salinity nii
@latitude 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
DeletePoster... Get a job first before relocating..
ReplyDeleteExcept you want to go into business and be your own boss.
Jobs ain't easy to come by..I have colleagues, doctors who are yet to get jobs. Government ain't employing, private is fully saturated. They are up and about covering shifts.
In the interim try making friends.. Everyone can't be tribalistic and avoid you.
My 2 cowrie.
Note that the availability of jobs is based on the industry. If she does marketing (as stated) she will get a job with a snap of her fingers. This is post-recession and companies want to make more money.
DeletePoster pls leave that place, you received pay last in January. Is that a job, even house helps are paid every month. You are a surveyor and don't get paid. Continue wasting your time and money. Go to Lag asap and chat me up .I have an online job for you 07056632772
DeleteExcept you r coming to Lagos to start runs so as to keep body and soul together, I suggest u get a job first.
ReplyDeleteYour fiance van help u submit your cv and please even if u get a teaching job, manage it first. Stop waiting for that imaginary chevron job while u sit idle at home.
Wish you all the best
Yes, you can for all the reasons stated, which are right reasons. But try to secure something in Lagos even though small. So you won't be bored & be a liability... God bless & make a way out for you, amen!
ReplyDelete... Jesus is my worth!
Try as hard as you can to secure a job in " lagos" before resgning from your present one, so won't have anything to regret, good luck!
ReplyDeleteGet a job first in Lag then relocate. If Aug comes and goes, you haven't clicked one, and you don't want to renew your rent in south south, still move to Lag and continue from where you stopped.
ReplyDeletePoster my advice is if you have some money that you saved, resign and use the money to start up something. Then be applying for a better job since you said the environment is not friendly with you. OK bye but check yourself too to know if you have a domineering attitude that is scaring your colleagues.
ReplyDeleteMy Swthrt, please hold on to that job, it's difficult to get job these days and easier to move to another job if you are in one already. Your fiancé gave you a good advice by asking you to get a knot her job before relocating. I can relate to you needing to be close to your relatives and friends. It will happen ok, all in good time, just don't loose the one you have now.and try to remove your thoughts from things that make you unhappy.
ReplyDeletePoster u had beta resign and relocate bk to lagos! U sd uv bn paid last in january?so wat are u still doing der wasting ur life and time?wats d diff btw u and dos dat are jobless? Ur own is just dat u still hv a place or ofice u go to during d day,while de de don't hv anywhr to go! But aside dat,no oda difference! My dear beta relocate bk to lagos and look for a beta paying job!dats whr u wld even get beta opportunities! Better oPportunities sef!better port asap!
ReplyDelete#Three solutions to every problem: Accept it, change it or leave it. If you can't accept it, change it. If you can't change it, leave it*
ReplyDeleteI think she should leave once n for all.
ReplyDeleteRent will end august!!
Last SALARY collected was in January. OGA OOO😩😩
She is not happy
She cries to sleep.
She is lonely.
Her family is in Lagos.
Her colleagues are tribalistic.
Madam, PLEASE PACK YOUR BAGS AND BAGGAGES...
GO TO LAGOS AND BE OPTIMISTIC..
OPTIMISTIsm iS THE FATHER OF TRUTH.
WHEN YOU GET TO LAGOS, YOU WILL SEE A JOB.
BELIEVE ME. YOU WILL
Me I've sha left job before without knwling what next. It was such a toxic environment and a large company sef
ReplyDeleteVoices of fear were telling me not to quit. I 'stubbornly' did and well the rest is history. Within one month i got a better paying job closer to home and NO it wasnt even advertised online...... see ehn many will tell you not to leave your job until you get another one. But a toxic work environment is not healthy and can cost you more than you know. Fashi all these online application. Sometimes being at the right place at the right time can get you a job. Lagos is all about mingling and selecting the people you want to mingle with so you can get the right information from the right people. The best jobs arent always online, i promise you. Plus, you need to stay closer to family to encourage you on bad days. If the job was worth it i would have encouraged you to bear. But what's the point being so faraway from family and friends and being broke? At least constant salary would have meant you can save and come over for weekends etc abi? Hian!
Biko, don't hesitate to put in your resignation. Just pray and have faith that it will add up and trust me it will. If you wait for perfect conditions you will never get anything done.
As for Le boo, please tell him to chill.
God bless you chikito... toxic environment or relationship is a no no for me. Once I don't feel happy doing something or I feel miserable or underestimated anywhere.. i run as fast as my legs will allow. Poster get out of that environment and have faith that something will turn up. I love chikito mindset a whole lot... if you wait for the perfect time? you won't see.. take a leap of faith and get to lagos... Ain't you serving a living God? get out of that environment ASAP. I have been in a toxic environment and I know how draining and miserable it can get. I just had to run back to my ffamily. If not, na depression. My dear listen to that hearts of yours, please.. get out of that environment, once you're out.. you will think properly and you will attract what you want. You cant attract a good thing if you're unhappy. Believe you will get a job in lagos, take the faith and leave for lagos... and you will land that job. If you think there's no job for you?.. Then there's no job for you. If you think there's a job for you? , then there's a job for you. It's all in the mind.. dont limit yourself and settle for less cause you're afraid of taking a risk.. what you want is on the other side of fear my dear... take that risk... its going to be worth it. God bless you... and Chikito I loo e ya mehnnn... keep doing you. I'm a fan and I always look out for ya comments. Kisses.. To you and jasmine too
DeleteLoud it chikito
DeleteI have left a job once with backlog of salaries becos it was a toxic environment....Today am doing well and everything fell into place because i turnes to God to takr care of me...if she has a positive mindset that she will ve fine then she will be fine....all dhe needs is a positive outlool to life
@oma marama & @loveeatingp 💋💋
DeleteI'm a first time poster even though I've been coming here for a while now. Poster please listen to Chikito, leave that job immediately... If you want to go far career wise do not listen to those who says you must get another job before leaving. Talking from experience, I did not leave a toxic job environment because of thoughts like these (being married with a baby)Everyday became a struggle, afraid to wake up in the morning because I had to go to work, my immediate boss was a xter out of a horror B-movie. Finally I took the plunge had a nasty confrontation with the useless man and walked out. Now here is where the danger lies.. A few months later, I got anotger job in a big multinational reporting directly to the MD... And guess what, I realised I had become a nervous wreck, self esteem was an issue.. Afraid and anxious everytime he calls me... I was good at my job... But I had lost all my confidence.. The man noticed it and had to put me under another head.. (business process) a kind of demotion.. And recommended series of training in leadership for me to attend. Before my last job.. I used to be d most vocal, intelligent solution provider whom management will asked to go and do stuffs even outside my JD coz they know I'll do it and the results will be brilliant. Today, I'm afraid to take initiatives or comment even at meetings cod I just don't want wahala...The feedback from HR was "You do not assert yourself well and fail to take ownership of your task". Me!? Before before known as the original ITK. So my sister... You will be damaging yourself more than good cos you are waiting for another job before leaving. LEAVE NOW!!
Deleteleave there jare definitely u wil get employ in Lagos only dat it will take time or it may not
ReplyDeleteThere's no job in Lagos o,it's not as easy as you think,you have to Pray very hard to get a good job in Lagos.. Peace of mind is very important shaa so I won't advice u to keep working there. But have something figured out before resigning and coming to Lagos if not hunger go kee u here
ReplyDeleteIf you're hurting that bad then I'll advice you to leave the job and the city. The only thing that would have kept you there is a salary but as it is, you're not even getting that so what's the point? There's no need expending money on a job that isn't giving you a salary.
ReplyDeleteCome home to Lagos. And take Chikito 's advice of going about and searching really hard. I'm sure with time you'll be fine. Goodluck poster.
@miss kenefo 💋💋
DeletePoster.......I won't advice that you leave your job without getting another one or the arrears owe you in your present place of work.
ReplyDeleteYou can ask your parents and friends to help you summit your CV to some places and be hopeful that you will be offered appointment in some places.
So please wait until your arrears are paid and you can use that to start a business until a job come along.....
Poster.....I won't advice that you leave your job without getting another one or the arrears owe you in your present place of work. You can ask your parents and friends to help you summit your CV to some places and be hopeful that you will be offered appointment in one of them.
ReplyDeleteOr you wait till you are paid the salary arrears and then use that to start a business when you relocate to Lagos.......
Stay safe dear
I can relate to this. I remember working in a call centre in Kano far away from my family in Abuja. The job was stressful, the environment was hostile. I was sick physically and psychologically. I remember feeling drained, that my mum travelled to Kano to bring me home. She was so adamant I resigned, she worried I looked more like someone schooling rather than working. I eventually left and got a very good government job few months later. In essence, if you are not happy, don't be afraid to change your situation.
ReplyDeleteSad
ReplyDeleteBabe resign and leave that place and move to wherever your heart wants. There's nothing like peace of mind and doing what you love. Move now don't delay.
ReplyDeleteYou have not been paid since January, so what is the difference between unemployed and you? Once your rent expire resign...go to your people and search for job or learn a skill..
ReplyDeleteHappiness is always an inside job,direction is better than speed and winning doesn't start around you, it starts in you.plsssss pack your bags and start heading home.
ReplyDeleteCome home to meet family and friends and be happy.
ReplyDeleteIf you don't leave one job it's difficult to get another because you will not even have time to attend interviews when any pops up..
Ibeju-Lekki is a new developing area in Lagos and they need the service of Surveyors, am sure you will get jobs in that axis as a staff of some company or PP.
There is tribalism everywhere , I am from the south south and I work in Lagos and I know what I face but am not bothered, there are many companies here owned by South South and they employed yorubas , so ?
YORUBAS ARE MORE TRIBALISTIC .. Tongue out ...