....Cant they both hang out together?this sounds boring.....People need space in Marriage to do their own thing abeg...Stay at home from 11pm even on weekends like hes some security guard?Once ina while?Naaaaaa.
The writer of this sounds like someone that will choke her man with too many rules nd regulations...lol
It is better for all of us to stay out till 11pm make peace for reign.
ReplyDeleteI completely agree.
DeleteStella forget that thing. It is better for there to be rules and order in a home than both parties doing whatever they like.
DeleteSo if as a single lady I loved parties and owanbe so I should continue in marriage?? How does that look?
That is why it is marriage, you have to give up some vices and things must be done in moderation.
A married man I know hangs out with friends everyday, that is gross irresponsibility. I don't care if you provide and take care of all the bills.
You can hang out with the boys twice a month. That is okay by me but coming in at odd hours every weekend, ko le werk!!
Sit your ass at home some weekends and spend time with your family or go out together.
Every time I close from work, I head home straight. I am a guy and can't castigate guys right here....
DeleteThis is Africa. Occasional sit out with guys late night shouldn't become a sin. As long as the lady is permitted to visit her friends also. This woman here sounds like someone on house arrest. We all need to destress. Guys especially on Friday night.
"Wale Thompson says .... Lalale Friday ..."
11 p.m. if it is business, apart from that no way.
ReplyDeleteFriendship with guys should end by 10 p.m. maximum
How about 8pm?
Delete8pm cut off line. What is he doing outside?
DeleteLol @ "we own you"
DeleteThat line rings a bell😂
"Once in a blue moon with permission from his wife"! Kutuman buran uban nan! These women are really exaggerating themselves. I pay all the bills, I feed you, I give you all you want, yet, I have to take permission from you to do what I want to do. All of you hoes should relocate to the white man's land. You will never turn us to bitch niggaz. We are the men. We own you. Not the other way round. Damn!
ReplyDeletehahahqhaqahha if na Galore why are you shouting
Deletesee vexation oya calm down .
I swear, why are you shouting?
Delete��������������
U better humble yoself n take permission otherwise there'll be war n u won't win
DeleteYinmu, this is not a matter of feeding or owning anyone. I hate men who stay out till the early hours of the morning. You come back reeking of alcohol and cigarette what the hell do you enjoy in that rubbish? Wasting money on useless night life that will not add value to you.
DeleteMy husband says I don't like one of his friends. How can I like a friend that behaves like a dog on heat? That will bring a girlfriend to a gathering of wives yet he is married , always forming I have problems with my MRs,shameless lowlife. I tell my husband without mincing words, I do not like him at all.
����������
DeleteAwwwwwwww
Deletehahahahahahaha wallahi baka da kai. i cant stop laughing at this your comment.
DeleteYou are so wrong what you do is your God given responsibility not her's if not you are worse than an infidel. Seeking permission is not her controlling you... you won't tell me while courting she didn't always like you being around. Most times it is her way of saying I miss you and want you around. Go and read your bible to understand what marriage is about and leave that mentality you have.
DeleteStella biko I concur with the woman
ReplyDeletewhat will my husband be doing outside after 10 pm ?
Anyway we dey lock our gate by 10 pm, guess all the men in our compound are saints...... RME
Loolz! Hmmmmmmm
DeleteEven men whose schedules are 9 to 5 still does *shino* so being an accurate time keeper is a waste of time. Marriage is God's grace nothing more.
ReplyDeleteWe are not married yet but He stays out till about 3am some weekends. Once I get the 'I'm about leaving work' text from him on Friday, I reply with 'goodnight, lol. He's earned it because that brother works really hard and Yes, that's something I'm willing to tolerate if we ever got married.
ReplyDeleteThe writer made some points but has to be looked into from another ankle.being married shouldn't look like a life sentence. anyway both partners should be free to do what they used to do when they were still single But to some extend.that of a married man keeping late nights till 11pm its not a good idea,atleast the man should act like a responsible husband and a father because think about it I think only irresponsible married men stay out that late when such keep repeating itself then when married you should be tagged an irresponsible husband so with this I must say the writer made some sense.think about it
ReplyDeleteSpell check, auto don kill u
Delete������������
ReplyDeleteThis is crazy, watch them come for your ass Victoria. But, really, why can't these(some of them)married men go home early, why? It's OK to hang out but leave it for weekends, go home and stay with your families.
Obviously written by a single lady..
ReplyDeleteI usually smile when I see peeps plans of what they will do when they are married.
Chill till you marry Nnem..
My dad never stayed out up to 11 tho sometimes he is out till 8.30 maximum.
When mom paras, I tell her to let the man have some fun.
Mtcheww
ReplyDelete11pm is early sef my friend's hubby comes home 2am
DeleteFirst of all let me say it depends on how you see or view it. In Nigeria 11pm is a dangerous time of the day these days so for safety reasons she is very right. Once in a while it's allowed. When it's regular then home is just a changing room for the the man. There are so many ways of having your space. Hanging out with the boys once in a while is cool but don't make it routine. Trust me am a man and its the best way to kill the peace,love and affection in your home. Wisdom and understanding is the key..... Even my wife will send me out to hang out sometimes cause she knows I need some fresh air and change in routine. It helps. One is married not imprisoned... if your wife is your best friend then trust me she knows when you need to hang out with your friends.
ReplyDeleteSome of the girls dont know this. All they want is do as they say.
DeleteNothing wrong with it once in a while. As long as there is an understanding between the couple.
ReplyDelete#What you say about other people says way more about you than the people you talk about*
ReplyDeletePersonally I don't stay out later than 8pm if traffic permits though.if I'm going to be out late ,it should be with my spouse.
ReplyDeleteAwwwwww
Delete🙌🙌🙌
See better person, God bless you.
DeleteMiss priya come and see ur love!
DeleteYou sure @King Eze😒😒😁😍
DeleteOK now! Kuku tie me with rope!
ReplyDeleteMen feel so entitled in marriage, and thats why they misbehave a whole lot..when i was bewly married, Oga keeps coming home very late, most times 11pm,12pm, and even 1am.i approached him peacefully abt it, and he still did not bulge.I also took the drastic method of switching off my phone once is 10pm,for to get stranded at the gate, but yet he still resorted to calling flat neighbours to open the gate for him, lastly i started locking him outside, i bolt the door from inside, and when he knocks i pretend to be fast asleep.He will then call his brother that lives with us to open the door for him.He comes in and pretends like nothing happened.The last straw that broke that camels back was when he returned very late again, this time his brother was not around, he knocked and knocked, and almost broke down the door and i finally opened the door for him.mmh.
ReplyDeleteBVS ooh..This my Big Baby came in and gave me a serious stern warning, never to lock him outside his home again.or.......mmh.This time, he became even worst..Kaii, i was fustrated, i didnt knw wht to do again.so i finally talked to my Rev abt it, so he adviced me to ignore him, and act like i do not care again, and still be playing my role as a good wife than i am..lol, that he will come back to his senses..
So I acted as i was told,pretended like his lifestyle doesnt affect me anymore and he changed.it was like a magic..Men and their bruised ego.They dont like being told what to do..it really takes Wisdom to run a home..
Right now, my marriage is fixed.
Sorry for the typos..no time to proofread.
See Epistle!!!!!..mu na bear with me.
Stella darling pls post.
You are right. That is how my husband will be forming vex and stomping his feet around the house when you tell him what to do. Then later he will calm down and still do my bidding , yinmu.
DeleteThat's why you will celebrate many anniversaries together and your grandchildren too. You are in a functional marriage/home.
DeleteMost of them here know the truth but are just trying to distort it - or so I think/believe oo !!!!
Ada Ide you lucky u still get home..... lock me outside .... mbanu! That chick needs to go back to mama for some good home training. A good man is a good irrespective of how late he comes back home. I have a friend whose routine is 8am to 5pm daily, but he sleeps with like 3 different chicks in a week between 12 - 2pm, meanwhile wify keeps singing alleluia that hubby is heavenly..... Abeg make I shush b4 my guy will decode.
DeleteI agree with this lady,I go to work, u go to work, are u d only one dt knows how to "destress" ni? Once in a very blue moon when I choose to "destress" with my friends I still get back home on time, what kind of "destress" are u "destressing". pls what's in the dark that you are looking for?
ReplyDeleteThey can stay out naa, until anini apprentices teach them otherwise.
ReplyDeletehahahhhhahahhahahhahaaahah.
DeleteOne mistake people make is to expect marriage to change there spouse (p.s that hardly happens) if you meet a guy that hangs out till 11 in the night every night don't think it will change after marriage. The word marriage is not a magic spell. for me I can't deal mbok oh this is one for the things I look for in a guy oh, a very disciplined guy that knows what's write and wrong I can be married to a child that I will be scolding hiw will i now train my children when daddy hangs out T.D.B mba ohhh.the kids are watching biko
ReplyDeleteI think the lady has a solid point
ReplyDeleteMy neighbor had this crazy habit of hanging out into the middle of the nights and would come home in the wee hours of the morning blowing his horn to disturb the whole neighborhood.
One night his kid went into convulsion, the wife was heavily pregnant and by the time she started calling for neighbors help no one came out.people were scared it was robbers trying to use the woman to lure people out.
When the cries got too much some neighbors came out(I did not) and by the time they would get to the woman and try to help the kid was really in a bad shape. The 3 year old died on their way to the hospital.
The randy husband was out doing "Happy hour".He's number was off all through the night and when he returned home in the money he came in smelling drunk as usually.
The death of the boy that night threw the woman into premature labor.it was a terrible situation bt God took control and she didn't loose the baby.
Long story bt today they aren't married anymore, the woman blames him for the loss of their kid
If only he was at home when the whole thing started,the kid may have been alive today. The wife left him and he left our neighborhood in shame as everyone just grew hatred for him.
If ur married pls stay home, staying out late won't build ur home and if u must hangout late use ur kidney sense
Only if they will read this your story and learn from it. But some misogynist will still yearn trash. Marriage is both parties responsibility not one sided
DeleteOh dear !!!!
DeleteIt must be a good reason for my husband to stay out more than 10pm
ReplyDeleteBut why should even a single person hang out with "friends" outside?
ReplyDeleteIt is not a gender issue; it is a safety and propriety issue
Any person that's always outside is not a spouse material
He/she is a morally bankrupt and risky person.
It is a blatant display of irresponsibility.
I hate late nighters. But once in a while is ok. This is Naija not abroad that there is lights and enough activities to make night look like day.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, even abroad self , it shouldn't be a ritual. Hang out with the boys but not everyday or every weekend as if there is something chasing you from your house.
DeleteNonsense talk.
ReplyDeleteOpen your eyes before agreeing to marry a man.
ReplyDeleteDoes he keep late nights regularly? Is he a clubbing every weekend kinda guy? Does he have a multitude of friends?is he a heavy drinker and does he smoke?
If he does drink and smoke, you should know he wouldn't do this @ home and would need his peers to advance that career
Not all men that says 'I love you' should be taken seriously
True talk
DeleteMy husband that must spend a night out every weekend nko ? Always have an excuse with work...during his friend trad last weekend, he spend the whole weekend there. Oya make una advice me
ReplyDeletewtf are all whining about? so a man cannot hang out with friends till 11pm? are you fucking kidding me? am not saying it should be a norm but once in a while nigga needs his space jare just like i need mine. my hubby can go out and come back by 2am as long he doesnt get too drunk and begins to misbehave i am cool with it jare. marraige aint a life sentence jare. cut una horsebands some slacks no wonder side chickens keep stealing una horseband. men love freedom. free them joor.
ReplyDeleteI will take you serious when you get married. Let one man put you for house first.
DeleteFirst of all i am grateful that boo is so concerned about me being bored that he runs home from work....sleeps around 8pm....How that kind person wan sit out....Thank you JESUS for SAMUEL
ReplyDeleteDear married women, mind the kind of advice you take. Marriage is not a prison, allow your men spend time with their friends. Some of you will go home and start harrassing your husbands nau. Remember what works for mr and mrs A may not work for mr and mrs B. If una follow this woman advice OYO.
ReplyDeleteIt's not okay to be out till 11pm everyday as a married man with or without kids. Some of y'all really delusional. If y'all wife was staying out this late just to hang with friends while you're at home being a husband everyday how would y'all feel? If as a Man U won't like your wife to do that why are u doing it? Everyone has feelings remember, if it's gone hurt you it's definitely gone hurt her too. Stop with the bullshit. Even men who do it know they're wrong they just looking for validation and unfortunately some women will come here to support them and say let them be men abeg. When someone's marriage crash due to infidelity n stuffs y'all will be the first to blame the woman and say she didn't protect her marriage. How the fuck else is she supposed to do that when she can't set certain boundaries. A lot of y'all know it's a lot of bad blood that comes with hanging out late at night as a guy. You're exposed to a lot of stuff U prolly don't intend to do but do so anyway cos u find ur self at that place in time. Y'all should let a woman protect her damn marriage the way she pleases, as a man if u got a problem with that then don't get married till you're ready ijs.
ReplyDeleteI am a man and I totally agree with this piece. Too many negatives from keeping late nights by anyone, and not just the married man - especially in Nigeria with high levels of insecurity.
ReplyDeleteMy man don't even drink alcohol so he doesn't stay out past 7pm sef except he is trapped in traffic, na me be the night crawler sef I fit stay outside weekends reach 3am cos of the nature of my work.
ReplyDeletei agree with the poster, a woman needing her husband at home doesnt mean shes about to choke him. raising kids require both parents because there are things the mother cannot do. my kids will not be up till 11 waiting for daddy to come home and i am certain he would have left for work by the time they wake up so are you saying he should take pride in gallivanting all in the name of hanging out? you wanna hang out? you have saturdays and sundays between the hours of 1-8pm, learn to be responsible by being home when you're supposed to.
ReplyDelete