Please be BOLD and share your stories with us.................
Do not keep quiet..if you were a victim and have anything to share with those currently in the situation you left behind please share...Did you leave with scars?did you run or were you thrown out?Are you hiding?Currently providing help for women like you?
Please share!
Domestic Violence?Say to yourself ''Never Again!''
Dont forget to read the shocking DOMESTIC VIOLENCE DIARIES
Diary one
Diary two
Diary three
It is well
ReplyDeleteUp tonto dikeh, for speaking out, haters see your life.
DeleteWhy share a story when people will laugh at u call u names and compare u to their fake selves??? No thanks. By the way I'm a fighter, I pity any stupid idiot who will touch me. Dia fada
DeleteOver to those dem dey beat. Make una no shame, tell us so that people can avoid such mistakes.
ReplyDeleteIt is well...
ReplyDeleteNice post.
ReplyDeleteBut you see...
One major problem with a majority of those who suffer domestic violence especially the women is,
After all advice given, they still remain with the abuser making you feel foolish for saying anything in the first place.
For those who can painstakingly but courageously walk away while making efforts to putting their lives on track again,👍
For those who choose to remain wanting to die there, all the best.
I will read...
True
DeleteI was doing good person one year dishing advise, in the end she stayed. Since then, I just say sorry from afar and that's it.
God help us
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
How can a man hit a woman? Hummmmm lets train up our kids well so that they won't end becoming a monster. Not just only the d male child but the both !
ReplyDeleteGood job Stella. 👏👏👏
ReplyDeleteSay "NO" to domestic violence.
ReplyDeleteYour comment will be visible after approval.
Please Speak Out
ReplyDeleteDoes a son beating his mother count as domestic violence too? My neighbor's son gave her a black eye and her excuse is that her son is suffering from spiritual mental issues and doesn't know what he is doing. Please I need to know. Thanks
ReplyDeleteIs part of it, of nothing is done on that child he will grow up to beat his wife, he even kill his mum somdday.
DeleteYes. It does. He should be arrested. Even it is spritual, he should be taken to Prayer house.
DeleteBut I think it's more mental. He has psychological issues
That child is cursed.
DeleteMy 40yr old brother, mentally healthy has hit my 69yr old mum a few times. I don't even have a job to sue him or anything, neighbors has called severally to complain and my mum just cries on the phone. Thank God am in Lagos trying to get something doing cos if I was there, I might be in Kirikiri by now cos I would have definitely killed him. Pls if anyone knows any agency that can help get me justice, please leave a number, website of address for me. They live in the east, Onitsha.
DeleteSo many women are suffering in silence. I pray most of us will have the courage to move out of such marriage
ReplyDeleteGod Bless Everyone.
Amen! I quit my marriage of less than 3 years in January because my husband hit me. My greatest annoyance is the pride and arrogance. He never apologized or showed any remorse.
DeleteGod save us, bless us, keep us all.
ReplyDeleteSometimes domestic violence is not only beating, emotional beating, starving you sex as a married woman is also domestic violence, not spending on you, men learn to respect your wife's, stop cheating on her, be by her side, especially when she is still trying, alot of you mentioned are beast, you treat the woman anyhow, God is watching you, when you wanted to marry her you pretended to be nice, loving, friendly but after wedding you turn the woman into something else, repent, love that woman, care for her, someone gave birth to her just like you, your family and your children will experience the same thing.
ReplyDeleteIf you are a woman and you are going through domestic violence please open up and save yourself and children.
If I say I haven't suffered domestic violence and stayed, I'd be lying. Thank God I eventually walked away. That story is a story I'd share when I'm comfortable talking about it.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is it takes courage to walk away, it is usually a tough decision to make. When an argument is going South, I jejely excuse myself, my body is so precious to me and I take whatever the issue is to God in prayers...... My first year in marriage was tough but now we understand each other Better to the glory of God.
DeleteEka sorry, the guy must have been a monster. But truth is, you sef your mouth no dey stay one place. I bet you're the say back 100 if the man says 10.
Delete@Eka Joy, Awwww! Sorry about your bad experience, darling. Just a quick one, an honest advice, whenever you feel ready to share, please do so pseudonymously . There are some narrow-minded, immature lot who would turn your past pain into childish catchphrases and use it against you whenever their blood sugar level drops or just out of sheer boredom.
DeleteSweetheart, you may be thick skinned and all but having to endure needless taunting and and faceless people making a caricature out of your painful past, is something no normally person should voluntarily accept or deal with. Even without sharing much about your past or struggles, some individuals here take pride in attacking every comment you make. Even your "Hello" is considered offensive. Imagine the fiasco when you provide ammunition? It's like handing over a loaded gun to a trigger happy individual with erratic mood swings and pointing the gun to your head.
This should even be a general advice to all those who feel the need to share, please do so with a pseudonym, the Internet never forgets and you can't vouch for the sanity of everyone. The message is what is important, not necessarily the messenger.
#e-bearhugs.
Kai Stella, this is really thoughtful of you. #Rushing to read d diaries.
ReplyDeleteGood initiative Stella. Many will get help from here.
ReplyDeleteAfter almost 20 years, i still hv pains in my ears after dt dreadful slap. I no fit shout.
ReplyDeleteOMG! This post made me remember MS KAY and her story. MSKAY I HOPE YOU ARE OKAY AND HAVE REUNITED WITH YOUR KIDS. Love u dear no homo
ReplyDeleteWhy do you people feel the need to add no homo
DeleteYou can tell someone I love you. It's no big deal. The no honor part makes it seem some how.
My mum used to tell us that when we eventually get married and hubby raises a finger on us. We should quickly rush out, cut cassava stem and whip the hell outta him. My dad has never abused her and no man born of a woman should do that to her girls. I grew up having that confidence that no man must manhandle me. Now i'm married to a good man, even small play play wrestling e go de run for cover say i get single bone. Am grateful i married a softie abeg as me na area scatter.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, i kinda think momma backed her threats up with prayers Cos me and my sisters laugh over them these days. There's no excuse for abuse please. Speak up and build your confidence first.
The signs are always there too. We should all try to look closely at our would be partners, study his friends, family and environment. You'd definitely pick up something. and pls pls marry for the right reason. It helps. Pheew, did i just type all this?.......
So y'all move to a new flat or in your own compound first thing you do is plant cassava? Goodness.
DeleteWen the dick is sweet. Walking away becomes a problem.
ReplyDeleteI'm a SURVIVOR!
ReplyDeleteNO! It wasn't pretty but I made it. I have moved past it, I have forgiven and I'm free from all the pain, bitterness and sorrow!
I'm free, I'm trying to move on with my life and a better future. And I know that with God by my side always, I will make.
#So if you are in any DV relationship/situationship,be like Me! Dig deep and find that inner strength in you and step out of that messy situation, forget the excuses and leave. Remember that your life is worth more than you know and that you have a great future ahead of you. Don't listen to what people will say. Leave because none of them will follow you to the grave if you die! Your kids will be fine by God's grace, always pray for them.
But save yourself first! Do it for your kids, cps you won't be of any good to them from the grave.. Think about that and make a move!
I am so happy for you👍
DeleteThank you so mucho @Bloglord
DeleteMine is boyfriend domestic beating.after hitting me.my eyes 👀 swelled.he will make love to me by force.my Toto go dey pain me.if I go to the bathroom to shower hian I go hear wee.i left him finally.
ReplyDeleteMine is boyfriend domestic beating.after hitting me.my eyes 👀 swelled.he will make love to me by force.my Toto go dey pain me.if I go to the bathroom to shower hian I go hear wee.i left him finally.
ReplyDeleteNa WA O! He beats u up and rapes you. Thank God you borrowed sense and left.
DeleteThat was how I brain washed in marrying One Pastor and 2wks after the wedding, he showed his true colors - That was the first beating ( early 2011) never stopped the beating until January (2014) when he pushed me out and forcefully took our Baby (1yr 5mnths).. (He block every avenue to see my baby from then till now)
ReplyDeleteStella,I was 20yrs (Dec 2010) when he met me at the Usher stand doing God's work when he approached me and told me his intentions, I told him I wasn't ready because of my schooling then... He started all manner of tricks to get me to agree ( maybe he hypnotized me but I accepted when I don't even why) I was sure, I wasn't in love ( didn't date him or even know him well), not attracted to him, he didn't have money (before u think it's d money) He is 12yrs my senior o..I knew something was wrong, I knew I wasn't going the right way but couldn't stop myself (don't know why)... He was the first man that saw my nakedness.
I cooked very well o (My mum taught me so much), washed his clothes and never stops him satisfying himself on bed and God made me at least pretty
It became clear that I got married to a BIPOLAR after the wedding... He beats without reason at all, sometimes with flimsiest reason.. His people (parents and siblings) knowing his psychiatric condition backed him up just to SHUT ME FROM GETTING HELP. My poor parents were helpless at this time, my self-esteem was 0%, he devalued me that even his younger brothers beat me whenever they feel I didn't do it right...His mom and sisters cursed me out whenever they feel like... I was a shadow of myself, very helpless, fainted on many occasions but good neighbors came to my rescue, rushed to hospital in the pool of my blood by neighbors.. hmm
Put to bed via C.S due to depression because I was frustrated with this man but could you believe that after one month he so beat so bad that I went into theater for restitching (he threatened me not to say anything about the beating to the doctor)... It was that bad, I saw hell!!
I have pictures, doctors reports to backup my claims here
I came out alive and I thank God Almighty because he kept me through it all.. But my heart still bleeds, never recovered fully...
He took my baby and denied me all access.. He said I should go to court if I ever want to see the Child.. I have gone to many agencies.. FIDA,GENDER AFFAIRS,WACOL,HUMAN RIGHT ETC but the man goes and brainwash them
I wish to get help from this forum.. I'm just tired 😔😔
Stella.
Forgive the errors... Was crying and typing. It's well with my soul. AMEN
DeleteOMG... So sorry dear. Sometimes going on social media helps. Find a way to let the world know up problem please. It's well with ur soul
DeleteTake matters into your hands, hire some thugs to beat him up and kidnap your child. Thuggery is the only thing that works in Nigeria, the court will give him full custody since he is the father and can provide for the child, agencies are powerless in this situation.
DeleteMy dear,God will fight for u and u shall hold ur peace,keep singing it as a song in every opportunity u have one day God will send angels in human form to fight for u to have ur baby.
DeleteContact DPA madam, forget about rumours going on. I am sure the barrister will assist.
DeleteIs there any way you can call him out?
DeleteLike full name and all.
Can you reach out to Emeka Ugwuonye?
This is painful.
You see, even the courts and so called NGOs didn't anything to grant her custody....
Living without ones child is really hard as a woman.
That child there might be suffering abuse of all sorts.
My heart goes out to you dear.
Go to his church nd report him
DeletePls search for Due process advocate on Facebook book, my sure you'll get help there.
DeleteOh God of mercy!!! While reading your agony, I had to drop my phone at a point to wipe my tears. A month after CS??? I feel dizzy already!
DeleteThat is why I said my kids can not marry pastors or police men. Wicked people
DeleteSorry for all you went through. Search for Emeka Ugwuonye on Facebook. Due process advocates. He is a lawyer and helps people that have suffered domestic violence a lot. Let go and heal fast
Deletehmmmmmmmm painful Anon 15:46 and what have you done after meeting with these agencies. I am sure the man is into jazz for them not to see anything wrong and a pastor. Abeg call the church name so that people can take it up from there.
ReplyDeleteDont just die in silence. He has dared you, so do something
Please let me put this out there! Not all men are abusive and more often than not the tell tale signs are there if only you would hold on for a while and actually 'court'! Courtship may e an old school word but it is absolutely necessary for you to ask each other many questions, and learn about each other. Ask he's friends questions that could reveal his character and if you get the opportunity ask someone who knows him well whether he is husband material.
ReplyDeleteI read recently about a girl who left her husband after a year cos he was abusive. I knew her husband and when I heard he was getting married, I wondered what fool had ended up with him.
She didnt do her due diligence. If she had asked almost anyone, they would have told her he never wanted to marry, all he cared about was money, he had no faith in God or anything divine, he was selfish, he was stubborn and foolhardy, he was a drunk and a womanizer.
But she met and married him in under 3months. I read how everyone pitied her and cursed the day the guy was born. The girl never did her due diligence.
Ladies be wise! Investigate! Don't listen to Stella! Snoop! Spy! Peep! Sneak! Afterall, u are about to invest your life!
A word is enough....
Me dear,u are on point is good to ask around
DeleteI left in 2011 but not before beating him blue-black. He called the security guard and his driver to help but none showed up, I doubt they didn't hear him, I guess they weren't happy for me, they have heard my cry for help too often, so it must have felt good to hear OGA also cry for help. Those guys must have seen me as a pathetic wife cos each time they looked at me, there was this pity and helplessness for my situation in their eyes.
ReplyDeleteI was abused so often that I woke up one morning, decided not to take like a mouse anymore, I decided to fight back and I didn't even Know where the energy came from. Till today, dude believs I was possessed by some sort of demon that day, my energy my energy he believed must have come from a supernatural source and he said my eyes had fire in them, scared the crap out of him(he confided in a friend).
After the beating, I felt so good about myself, picked up an over night back, threw 2 dresses in, some underwears, took the 220k he left in the drawer, my certificates and walked away majestically, warned him never to show his face around me or I will beat him to death, jammed the door in his face and kissed it all goodbye. I left it all behind, my VGC home, the exotic cars, vacations abroad, properties, domestic helps, millions and even my international passport. (thankfully, there were no children to leave behind, I was on birth control and he didn't know. He was even making arrangements for us to visit a fertility clinic, I kept putting it off. I was scared of having a child for such a being)
I Wasn't working then, he never allowed me, he provided all, paid all bills on time but abuses sanity out of me. Psychopath.
I took the few change I had and rented a decent room on the mainland and began to hustle my way thru Lagos. Today, I am safe, loved and in a better place.
Sometimes, when I am riding in a Keke or okada and I see some of the cars I had used, I juat shake my head.
Of course, don't have half the comfort but I'm a work in progress.
If you are in an abusive marriage, LEAVE! Death has no remedy, don't wait till he kills you, oh yes! He will if you don't scamper to safety NOW. It is not as bad as you think out there, you will survive, you had a life before you married the bastard, so what makes you thing your world will end when you walk away from the toxic environment??
#IamASurvivor #YouCanAlsoBeASurvivor
👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏. Bless you!
DeleteAnonymous 15:46 you really went through this in the hands of a so called man of God? Chai so sorry 😐 please do not give up on your child, that baby must not be brought up by those wicked family. You will get all the help you need, the so call pastor is a monster!
ReplyDeleteI remember Ms Kay's story,hope she's still a blog visitor?This blog used to be so peaceful before giveaways started.
ReplyDeleteHusband is abroad for a two weeks seminar. Invites his mum to the house to help with the kid and keep his wife company. One friday night wife isn't back from work by 9/10p.m and she isn't picking her calls. Mama calls her last born to come over at least till wifey gets back so she isn't home alone. Wife gets back few mins past 12, mama is questioning her and she goes "mama it's too late stop disturbing me", mama replies "You must be stupid, can you speak to your own mother in such manner". Wife goes "mama it is you that is stupid" then pushes mama out of her way. Husband's brother who had been in the kitchen all the while comes out to see his mum on the floor. After picking his mum up, he gives the wife a coupla slaps.
ReplyDeleteIs that one DV too???
Mine tried it with me I locked the door one day and beat the living day light out of him he ran out of the house
ReplyDeleteWas a victim but i lived to tell the story. God has been faithful. All the things he said that i wouldn't achieve without him,i did that and more. Got an M.Sc. a job, apartment, car etc all by the grace of God. Soon i ll leave for the Western world and finally put and end to all these because he is still disturbing me to return to him. Thank God for my family that supported me.
ReplyDeleteDon't go back,he will never change
DeleteI thank God for you dear. Never return to your vomit.
DeleteIts well
ReplyDeleteEmotional abuse is worse than DV, at least you can avoid been pummeled by keeping mute.
ReplyDeleteI know it's not easy to walk out most especially when your family background is nothing to right home about.
For those that took the bold step 👍
For those still there, I pray for Gods guidance and wisdom to make a better decision.
If the government can help in providing shelter and feeding for DV victims, a lot of women will have the courage to walk out of DV.
Emotional abuse is worse than dv, your self confidence is gone and self esteem
DeleteI honestly don't know what Dv looks like cos I have never seen my dad do that to my mum and I have never been a rship where a guy will hit me.I pray it never happens to me or any of my sisters.
ReplyDeleteI don't really blame those that have gone through DV and emotional abuse, because I have been there. Mine was emotional abuse. He offends you and make you feel like you are the one that offended him. he goes off not talking to you for months even after he has done your introduction, he doesn't spend on you (he is not poor, earns a 7 digit salary) when I say spending I don't mean on extravagant things, I mean basic needs, she is a student 4 crying out loud. Even when he promises to do something he will end up not doing it,he was stingy down 2 his DNA. He was a liar. Well I thank God for delivering me from the devil
ReplyDeletei wont bleave.na so we go dey.kill me and i will rise up and haunt you to the grave.ur father!
ReplyDelete