Hmmmmm....
FOLLOWING ONES DREAM
Good day Stella and BVs. Please I have something bothering me. I'm a 26 year old girl but the truth is that I'm scared of marriage. My parents marriage made me realize that a lot of women are enduring unbearable pains in marriage.
My mum suffered a lot before my father passed away and she even suffered more training us in school. Now, I've graduated but I'm not so keen on getting married. All I want is to make money and be happy. I even believe I can get pregnant and have one or two kids without a husband.
I've never been so worried about having a man in my life even though I know its necessary. All I desire is to be financially successful.
My problem is this. I have some viable business ideas and I intend to relocate to Lagos to kick start any of them. I'm also interested in music and I've been told by some producers that I've worked with that I'm talented enough and that my music is unique. I even got someone that wanted to give me a record deal but he has been unserious of late due to an artist he sponsored that didn't break through.
My problem is this. I have some viable business ideas and I intend to relocate to Lagos to kick start any of them. I'm also interested in music and I've been told by some producers that I've worked with that I'm talented enough and that my music is unique. I even got someone that wanted to give me a record deal but he has been unserious of late due to an artist he sponsored that didn't break through.
Its also part of why I want to relocate to Lagos. To hustle for my music and use the business that I'll start to be sponsoring myself till I get a good deal. But my people are on my neck to accept a marriage proposal from a guy from my town. However, I just don't feel like getting married now. I strongly believe I'll make it if I follow my dreams. I'm also pretty enough so I know that getting a suitor at 30 years or thereabout shouldnt be too difficult.
Dear BVs, please I seek for those of you who have experienced this to advice me. Do you think I'll regret my decision later? Do you think I won't make it?
Dear BVs, please I seek for those of you who have experienced this to advice me. Do you think I'll regret my decision later? Do you think I won't make it?
Or should I get married and forget about being financially independent and maybe hope to get employed in the future?
Please I need your mature pieces of advice.
Follow your dreams. The end
ReplyDeleteLol.... @The end
DeleteSay you no talk MATURED but MATURE. Let me advice you.
Deleteleave music oooo, or your ponyor go hear am.
Don't be afraid of marriage. Just ask God you need your missing ribs. Not all horseband ribs miss. If you marry with patience and God favour my dear u will love marriage. But please be financial independent please. Leave ur comfort zone may be ur real husband is waiting. Wat ever iz urs wil be urs
DeleteMadam financial independence before marriage. This should be every woman's mantra in Nigeria. Better go and start any business u can. Who marriage hep. While you are starting the business you can be finding husband.
DeleteThe only thing I'm chasing is my dreams #bossbabe
ReplyDeleteNuff said
Follow your heart! Follow your dreams.
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval.
Don't do what will make u regret later. If u are not interested in marriage now, just let ur parents know.
DeleteTalking about music. Somebody should please please tell efe to choose another hustle, music is definitely not his calling. Answering efe of bbn is a better work than singing. Who have heard his new single, wtf is that?
ReplyDeleteI Taya for that one
DeleteHahahahahahahaha anonymous 'orubebe'. Children of anger *in galore's voice*
Delete#galore'scrush
You are so on point 👉
DeleteBut his followers are deceiving him
@Narrator.... Chase your dream.. .if you can chase it with cutlass sef
@Galore
And galore and her crush clash in opinions!
DeleteHahahahha
DeleteThe Music titled **Somebody**
DeleteI guess so
Lolzz @anony 15:53 nor be small clash of the titans. Anyways for me, I believe with time he will improve
Delete#galore'scrush
Hahahahaha, finally. He should just stop wasting his time and money
DeleteLol... @Galore's crush... The truth of the matter is, @Efe sings wack
DeleteHe better pick another struggle, now that people still love him
You know say Na @9ja we dey, very soom people go just forget am
He should seize this opportunity and do something useful and worthwhile
@Galore
My dear o...if we talk now,dem go call us haters.
DeleteBut we have told Efe he won't listen. Let us rest. Till d money finish then we will all be looking at him. Instead if him to go and invest in better business that will yield profit.
DeleteI'm also pretty enough so I know that getting a suitor at 30 years or thereabout shouldnt be too difficult....
ReplyDeleteWas going to advice you but this line up there made me change my mind. So you mean the unmarried ladies who crossed 30 in their single state are ugly?
Wow!
I pray you get the answers you seek though.
Lolzz @gifted hands are you 30 above and unmarried? Is ask I ask o
Delete#galore'scrush
You dey mind the shediot?
DeleteYou the best
DeleteA lady should be married before 27,stop deceiving ur self...
Delete@ anon 15:29 and anon15:13....
DeleteNow I don't usually do this but be informed that i am below 30 and married with 2 sons....
Now is that an achievement?
No!!!
God chose to settle me when He did. Not koz I am pretty, I am far from that but koz He decided it was time to get me married.
Saying a lady should be married before 27 is your opinion and not a fact.
Some are destined to begin the journey early, others are destined to go through life issues as a means of strengthening their faith in God before they get married. We all cannot begin at the same pace.
DO NOT make mockery of the late beginners.
The start of a journey is not as important as reaching the finish point.
Gifted u dey mind them rubbish lots....
DeleteGifted hands, so on point. Your brain is garnished with wisdom and understanding.
DeleteGifted,chop kiss😗
DeleteOkay gifted hands now I know
Delete#galore'scrush
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💋💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘💘
DeleteAll for you @gifted! Sometimes we need to leave narrow minded people in their actual box.
Aunty.. Am dumb founded. Let me read comment
ReplyDeleteMc pinky
Poster,most people in entertainment are from the marine kingdom!...
ReplyDeleteYour marine husband and friends are telling you not get married...
It's okay!...
Everyone can not get married...
It's your life mehn...
Do as you wish!!...
Queen! U say what
DeleteI haff deadened o 😅😅😅😅😅,Queen u say???
DeleteQueen oooooooo. Jesus
DeleteQueen,say whaaaaaaaat? Lmao, I'm just tired of this woman.
DeleteMusic shudnt be ur full time dream cos u go fade, when u fade, what next? Ask Eva,muna abii,n chidinma if it's easy for a female artists out there, and be ready to make ur ponyor available.
ReplyDeleteSo u mean say my neighbor never blow coz she no gree drop ponyor? Choi
DeleteMy dear I support you..
ReplyDeleteForget marriage for now, seek for a better future first of all. Be financially independent so that no man can play ludo with you.. Marriage of these days no be beans! Don't rush it
Of course you can date people while you're at it, and when the right man comes.. You'll know!
For now, Chill and make money!
#myopinion
You feel the way you do because you haven't met someone you're crazy about as they are with you.
ReplyDeleteHow dare your people throw a man at you just because they think you're of age.
When you meet someone, you're mentality about marriage will change. Chasing your dreams requires focus and determination. Without both you are bound to fail.
Relocating to Lagos is not as easy as you make it sound. You're a woman and lots of wolves in sheep clothing live here. They will pounce on you knowing fully well that you are at their mercy.
If you're done with school, get a job and let music be your side hustle until you start to make money from it. All these successful artists you see didn't blow in one day. It took years and years of hardwork and squatting with friends and even borrowing to release one demo. Do you have someone you'd put up with when you come? How will you feed? You need to consider these things because manna won't fall from heaven.
now yhu haff stat... tumoro yhu wheel cum an tell us yhu haff fuond loff wit gran-pa... isorite!!
ReplyDeletelemme cum í ½íºµ an be goin.í ¼í¿ƒ
😅😅😅😅😅😅.chai@grandpa.do you peeps ever forget???
DeleteMy dear,marriage is overrated.don't accept his proposal just yet.
ReplyDeleteYes o, better we remain single for life then marry n have kids, just get a married man to sleep with whenever you are horny.
DeleteLol😅...this villager no well o
DeleteWho's the 'we'?
DeletePoster pick a struggle. Are you interested in marriage or not?
ReplyDelete#galore'scrush
Follow your dreams
ReplyDeleteDreams actually do come true when you believe with hardwork.
You don't want to ever get married?
When true love come knocking your door,
You won't tell anyone before you open it.
A story isn't the same as B's own.
And yes to ur question,you ll make it....with God on ur side,determination and hardwork,you sure gong to make it.....and even if you choose to get married now, still pursue ur dreams as no man wants a liability for a wife. Goodluck
ReplyDeleteDear Poster: Do what rocks your boat dear, And seriously you need no validations from us as to what you want to do with your life. But dont use your parents mistake to define your own life..You should try to break away from such and believe in yourself that the man you will be with, will respect you enough and love unconditionally...
ReplyDeleteYou need to see a psychologist and also make a conscious effort not to live in your parent's shadows..You are different and believe that it will work...Let go of the hurt your mum felt from dad and use it as a lesson and continue doing what will put smiles on her face and wipe away her tears so she can be proud of you...just be optimistic..God bless you
My thoughts exactly! Psychologist? She just needs to go with her guts and add some determination to it. Eliminate fear. Cos really, life's not a one-way street. You can do A and wish you did B, if you dont have your own voice. As for people, they are always there to confuse you. If you base your life on their opinions, there's a limit to what you can achieve.
DeleteFollow ur dream u are young and u will get a man that will love u when u r ready
ReplyDeleteMaking it in music as a female in Nigeria is very very difficult. In fact how many female artiste are there? Tiwa, Yemi alade, simi , and that short Igbo girl, can't remember her name (she won Nigerian idol). The men are doing much better. Don't ask world people why o ... we don't know.
ReplyDeleteThe unique ones omawumi ,Eva, Waje, Bez, Brymo etc where are they? My advise to you is to forget about music as a source of income, there are too many variables involved that's beyond your control.
Your best bet will be focusing on your business till love finds you
Those unique ones make mad money at corporate events o (maybe except Eva)... they make very good money.
DeleteFollow your dreams lady.
ReplyDeleteBabygirl, its a wonderful ideology chasing ones dreams, be it in ur sleep or realistic dreams with the right resources, but the unclothed truth is that we dont always catch them, but on the long run we'r satisfied that we gave it a shot, in the process of hunt u might even catch sumthg better dat u werent it lookn out for, thats serendipity... look at the handful of ppl that make it in the music industry 2day, even those with great celine dion vocals relocate to Lagos & didnt put out a demo, im not discouragingbu dear, but chasing music is a longshot... its worse than applying for American VISA, iv never ventured into music but i applied for USvisa so i knw the hell involved, lol... them still no gv me.
ReplyDeleteThe truth is marriage is not for everyone, we've got diffrent mindsets jst like the patterns of our fingerprints, jst bcus we all hv hands dsnt mean our prints r same, so we hv diffrent outcomes to same events in life, if uv developed this psychological notion of the concept of marriage, going into that institution would bring u nothing but misery, even if uve got the most amazing man, ud feel boxed. Pressure from family n friends wldnt help either... id advice u follow ur dreams but dont bank on benching Yemi alade or ud be heartbroken, & there should be a safety net to fall back to if it all comes down like a house of cards.
👍🏽👍🏽👍🏽
DeleteSo you based in Nigeria, and I was about to toast you secretly... I dont do naija based guys..
DeleteBut u do nigerian blogs?? Weldone
DeleteFrom your write up, you seem consumed with your passion, music. Go with it. And that stamp in your mind concerning marriage, break free from it in order to be able to receive the gift of a good marriage. And tell yourself, because it happened to others doesn't mean it will happen to me. #your case is different.
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart
ReplyDeleteIt's either you don't want to get married because you are scared or marriage or you want to get married but later in life.
ReplyDeleteIf the first is the case, then please change your mentality. Because your parents didn't have a good marriage doesn't mean you wouldn't have one. You are different from them.
If the second is your case then I honestly think you should have a relationship at hand while pursuing your dreams but let it be with the man you love and someone who understands that this is the pact you want to tow and make yor stand about it. You might be pretty enough to get a boo at 30 but that might not happen. I have seen very pretty ladies who are past 30 and are yet to see a boo. It is not about your beauty. Also if paradventure you get married when you want to get marry, make your man know your dreams can not die because of marriage.
I wish you the best in your endeavors.
Hmmmm. You should follow your dream. Who knows you might fall in love while doing that and still marry
ReplyDeletePoster. I used to be like you. I Grew up wanting to empower myself and I didn't care if I turned out single, said to myself I'd jejely 'mother' a baby girl. I moved to lagos @ 24, got a small job n I met my now hubby @ 25. I'm married now n i've absolutely no regrets. Boo is the one pushing me to try n go on TV. He's willing to put me through to start up an online show. Na me come de dull sef maybe cos I'm in a comfort zone now. I haven't figured that out yet. So you see, sometimes marriage can make u better. Just marry for the right reasons. I'm still really young in marriage but I've no regrets. You v the answer to what you really want honey. Think!
ReplyDeleteBest move of your life.. .. Better to quickly settle down before 30...
DeleteTo be financially independent is good but if u think ur pretty face will give you ur dream husband after 30, then follow ur dream. After all somewhere in ur mind u still want a husband. Your mother's experience will not be your portion. Ijn.
ReplyDeleteI pity u o at 30 I pray u see guy to call u then
ReplyDeletePoster since you reserved husbands that will marry you when you become 30 years, then who am I to tell you to marry now... Ride on ride on ride on, WehdonMa... Make kwa sure that you chase your dream, catch it and pick one of those husbands and marry when you clock 30 years...
ReplyDeleteFollow your dreams, the sky is your starting point..
ReplyDeleteYou are not in love with the man, that is why you are talking like this.
ReplyDeleteWhen you meet someone that captures your soul, you wont hesitate.
Marriage hasn't held many artist from making it. Be it in music/movies. People like Omotola made it, Dija got married soon after she started singing.
If you meet someone you love and hopefully the person is in Lagos. you can date him and tell him to give you a few years while you are trying to get your feet on the ground.
Don't concentrate on music alone dou. If you are a graduate you can get a 9-5 and let music be your side hustle.
Chasing a dream at 26 is abit risky. So many of these artist you see started from their university days at 18/19.
GOOD LUCK
Poster, getting married should not stop you from being financially independent. Though I truly do not believe that music is the "it". Then, do not get married just to tick the box. Also, note that people on this blog advice you from their points of view. I will sha advice to think through your decision before taking any.
ReplyDeleteFinancial stability is way to go, but don't forget to marry when the time is right. Don't let your parent's experience hold you back.
ReplyDeleteI laugh atimes when I see some chronicles. But let me give you my humble advice.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is a sign of development and maturity which a lot of people don't know. It takes a lot of courage and wisdom to embark on the "marriage business". It's capital,human,emotional,physical intensive. But NOT everyone is cut out for it. It's like building a house. Some people are not interested but just want to rent a place throughout their life. Some cannot afford to also build. But it's a personal decision.
Where I have my issues with you is you don't even know what you want and the direction you are heading. Your music career has not even taken off and you already thinking you are a superstar. You said "your people want you to marry a guy from your town"...Since when has marriage become a community project. You make it sound like you are up for sale to the guy. No love, no connection to him just your people's interest. Do you like the guy or are you dating him? Marriage is all about the two people involved no third party. You didn't say much about what you mean by saying your mum suffered in marriage...Was it domestic violence or no money or source of livelihood.
Think you need to be financially independent along with having a relationship that will lead to marriage if you wish to marry. The go hand in hand. It's part of live and you have to multi-task all the way through living,career relationship and achieving one's set out goals.
So the answer to your question is that life is combining a lot of things and yet have a focus of what your goals and aspirations are. Marriage is not a goal it's part of your development as a partner in a union.
#come back and thank me later.
I like your comment😊😊😊
DeleteHow and when do I send in my cchronicle?
ReplyDeleteDo you love this man? Are you just considering him because your people are on your neck?
ReplyDeleteThe fact that your parents did not have a good marriage does not mean there are no good marriages. You can have a blissful one.
However there are misconceptions you have that need to be discarded. First, having money will not grant you happiness as you seem to think.
Having children outside the confines of marriage and raising them alone just because you can May be laying a foundation for an unstable emotional future for them. God made marriage as a protective environment in which all members can grow and thrive.
Read 1 Corinthians 13 and learn the attributes of love. When you meet someone who loves you and your love, get married to him and build each other up. That you are pretty is no guarantee that you will meet the man for you at 30 like you think.
Lastly go to God who made you, knows your future and commit yourself life to him, pray study his word, live to please him and find rest.
Follow your mind
ReplyDeleteA lady with gifted hands and brain is hard to come by these days. With this kind of reasoning Gifted Hands why won't you prosper?
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart dear
ReplyDeletePoster follow your heart
ReplyDeleteDon't bow to family pressure to marry. I did so many years ago and I live to regret that decision. I didn't want to marry but my dad was becoming unbearable at home. Aunties and uncles kept asking me when? I had three degrees already and everyone was wondering what was wrong with me. I didn't want to marry. I wanted to pursue my lifes' dreams. I had so much I wanted to do, great heights I knew I could accomplish. I was a great writer, a brilliant scholar and I had so many thoughts about what I wanted to accomplish. Marriage wasnt on my mind. My parents marriage was nothing to write home about and I didnt want to rush into anything like that. But I bowed to the pressure.It was overwhelming. And my dreams ended.Children came in quick succession, my husband always never had enough money for anything extra I wanted to do or try out. My dreams died the day I got married. Today I am not so fulfilled as I feel I haven't achieved much in life than bear children. So... Marry when you feel you want to-not because of some pressure from family. Follow your dreams. God has given everyone a destiny and what he or she will do to succeed but most times we end up following a different pathway we have created ourselves or that society has created for us. If you want to know what God has created for your success in life , just follow your passion. He gave everyone a passion for "something" and if you follow that passion, you will strike your God given satisfaction in life. Go girl. Marriage? It will come when it will come.
ReplyDeleteHang on honey. Keep writing. Do you have a job?
DeleteMaybe,you haven't met the one yet...you start thinking marriage when you do.
ReplyDeletebut if you are not ready to marry now is best you talk to your family to give you a little more time to think about it.
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart sweetheart, don't be saddle by the pressure to get married hence you'll regret your moves. Take care of yourself please.
ReplyDeletePoster....is your music secular or gospel, if its gospel you can do it as a married woman. Meet the guy your family want you to marry and see if there would be a good chemistry between you two then you can start dating. It's not like you would be forced to marry him immediately.....
ReplyDeleteBe like amara Kanu,marry early,have kids early and when is a little bit balanced,reinvent yourself and chase your dreams.
ReplyDeleteThe two; career and marriage are not mutually exclusive, you can have both, know what you want and plan, I'm married now but my career was in a good place before I did, but even before I had a career , I had someone I love that when the time was right, I knew I had someone to marry, the mistake we make sometimes is that we keep pursuing one thing and neglecting the rest, Mr Right won't just poo out when you're 30 my dear,build a great relationship with marriage as goal, for when you're ready, and make sure its someone that supports your dreams and is ready to help you, you can have it all, I do.
ReplyDeleteLa Donna what if her life doesn't turn out like Amara Kanu's? We forget people's destinies and purposes in life are never the same. Don't use someone else's life as a yardstick. Do you always so that in the end even if there is a regret it won't be that painful.
ReplyDeletePursue your career.
ReplyDelete