I saw this picture below on facebook and it has opened my eyes to what we call white wedding.
The white wedding we all look forward to celebrating in Africa is the white's traditional wedding. While we copy the white's traditional wedding, they don't copy ours.
To the question,
1. Is it necessary at all for Africans to celebrate white wedding having done all the necessary rites at the traditional?
This thing has to come stay and it can never be changed.
ReplyDeleteWhite or traditional, there should be a court paper to be signed by the couple, which signifies that the couple are legally married.
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval.
We Africans just love their style. I love the white dress and would want to wear it some day.
DeleteEven Muslim's now wear it too
White wedding any day for me, at least there is a document to legalize the union...
DeleteThis thing has to come stay and it can never be changed.
ReplyDeleteYes ooo it is necessary, so that they we can collect our gifts from people.
ReplyDeleteLol.. I had my trad and that was it... But i think it is a thing of choice. My hubby and i dont wear rings but we love us like that
DeleteAnon 15.38, I'm not criticizing your decision, but remember the same way he married you is the same way he can marry other women and the same in-laws that came with him to ask for your hand are the same people that will follow him to marry someone else...the day I read about customary laws in Nigeria, that day I took my decision o!goodluck to you.
DeleteLove us well well oh!Until u need the law to help interven.Stella marriage oat has to be sealed in front of God, because He created the institution.White wedding is both couples taking vows infront of God.
DeleteTo me the most important is paying bride price and traditional marriage. I did not do the white wedding and not bothered about it.
DeleteLeave matter. You will be shocked to find out with all your expensive white wedding dress you won't collect pass 20 electric kettles and probably 3microwaves kikiki
DeleteNigerians are stingy like that, they attend parties empty handed!!
MrsBee
Even the Bible recognises our Traditional wedding.... The church own is just because people have so much money.
ReplyDeleteOur tradition has been colonized. What the Bible even mentioned is bride price the rest na jara.
DeleteThank. GOD this came up. As for me I am only doing my traditional wedding not the white traditional wedding. We need to embrace our culture it really beautiful.
ReplyDeleteLinda ikeji is engaged to a model called uche Odinaka....
ReplyDeleteThat's all!!!!
What a wawuu.spill more biko
DeleteBut I dey fear una for this blog oo
DeleteHe is hot o but is he rich? Like I am just asking an innocent question
DeleteHope it's not that dark, sick looking guy on dreadlock?
DeleteLinda once put his pic and said he's an old friend. Laura posted a pic of himself, Linda and herself going out and the guy was the one driving.
He's always in their house.
It been long na. They will be getting married in Monaco in October.
DeleteOdikanwa not Odinaka. 1st runner up in guilder ultimate search 2006. Very hot dude.
DeleteEwww that guy that looks like a slimy gay, awon social climber. I see another Toke unbecoming loading. Linda at your age, you don't need someone like this.
DeleteThey are all the same,but I prefer that white man's own.when my own time comes,I ll do white wedding only.every other ones should go to hell
ReplyDeleteYou can not do white wedding without first, your traditional marriage.
DeleteYou are a foolish person even your name says so.
I don't know about this. Because as a Muslim, my Nikkai and Traditional is all that is needed
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Damn you're a Muslim.Are you good looking?Rich?
DeleteUna dey wear white for nikkai like we dey wear go church
DeleteYes, likewise those that wear it to registry
Delete*Larry was here*
What some Muslims do is to have their registry done on Saturday and be able to put on the white gown.
DeleteLarry good day o. Eku ijo meta.
Let's revisit the scriptures:
ReplyDeletePlease folks, show me one verse where wedding took place in a synagogue in the Old Testament or in a church in the New Testament; there is none!
Wedding took place in the bride's home; like in "Cana in Galilee"
Once the bride price is paid to the bride's dad, she is married
Everything people do in "churches" wearing white is formality
You want proof;
Girl, go to the "white wedding without your dad's consent" and come and tell him that you are "pregnant"
Now go and tell him that you are pregnant after he has received the "bride price"
You see the difference?
Nothing is wrong with celebrations in churches but please do know when you are married; when your bride price is paid!
👍👍👍
DeleteAtewo ko ma ro.
Delete💯💯💯 facts!!!
DeleteAll you need is marriage recognised by your culture ( traditional marriage) and marriage validated by the courts (registry)
But by the time you comply with your cultural rites for marriages, you are validly married in law. The Registry just changes the status of your marriage making it no longer potentially polygamous and confers other rights and privileges.
The Church thing was just a.way of 'the church' being in control of human relationships and interactions.
I did TM and Registry. Invited my church to both. Pastor had opportunity to pray at the TM, my Father in law was the one that prayed after we signed our certificates....
Then we held a reception!
14years happy, going on forever...but then I never wanted things just cos other did them!
capital No!! it isn't necessary. as the traditionalist that i am, i only intend on doing the traditional marriage rite and that's it... it's mostly the women who want white weddings in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteEvery mallam with him kettle.
ReplyDeleteI know I must have a court wedding and church, I don't care about traditional wedding. That's my own sha.
A church wedding to me is also having a pastor come bless us, it doesn't necessarily have to take place inside a church. Yeah same blessings happen during traditional weddings too.
Most people start living as couples after their traditional wedding some don't even wait. Once they do court wedding they are married, so I guess it depends on the parties involve and the values they uphold.
How about your traditional rites then?
DeleteIf you marry in church & court but no traditional rite my sister you are a single lady, even the Bible attest that the man should take his kinsmen to the brides home for her to be given to him as a wife, not church or court, traditional wedding is the major marriage, others are ceremony.
DeleteMy cousin wedded her husband in Catholic Church in 2005 Sept, when she has issues with her husband the man went to report her to my pple, the father told him that he didn't recognize him as his inlaw cos he has not Done her traditional rite Today they have separate, the kids my cousin had with him was given to another man that did her traditional rite.
Traditional wedding is the major thing
Traditional wedding is our own wedding but some pple believe that if your wedding isn't done in a house of worship God hasn't blessed the marriage. I wen to a yorubatraditional wedding and trust me it was like a prayer meeting, the kinda prayers that was showered on these couple were more than the prayers they would have gotten if they had done their white wedding and they only did their trad and marriage registry. My friend did her trad and refused to go to her husband's house until after 5 to six months that the man had to look for money to do white wedding before she accepted that she is married. In my place on the day of your trad, a selected number of pple from your dad and mum's place will escort you to your husband family house along with your friends (I went with my sis instead of my friends cos my husband is from another tribe plus the distance) they next day they will cook with your husband's family,merry and your husband's family will also give the bride's family gifts you can invite your family friends for this wellcoming party, and the 3rd day my uncles,aunt and sis left me, then everyone started travelling back to their houses cos we did the trad in the village and our both parents are not based in the village. So imagine after all this ceremony in my village and my husband's village and I now travel to lagos with dh, I will now carry my bag and go to abj to stay with my parents and say that I am not married? Hell no. My bible tells me that God is everywhere, my mama family get men and women of God and pastors prayed for us on our trad day. Just go to court and get your cert
ReplyDeleteApt...
DeleteSpot on
DeleteMrsBee
My dear what you wrote up there is the dekoko. I did trad.& registry. For those moves that want to do only white, I Laff you in keneri languag😁
DeleteTraditional wedding is our own wedding but some pple believe that if your wedding isn't done in a house of worship God hasn't blessed the marriage. I wen to a yorubatraditional wedding and trust me it was like a prayer meeting, the kinda prayers that was showered on these couple were more than the prayers they would have gotten if they had done their white wedding and they only did their trad and marriage registry. My friend did her trad and refused to go to her husband's house until after 5 to six months that the man had to look for money to do white wedding before she accepted that she is married. In my place on the day of your trad, a selected number of pple from your dad and mum's place will escort you to your husband family house along with your friends (I went with my sis instead of my friends cos my husband is from another tribe plus the distance) they next day they will cook with your husband's family,merry and your husband's family will also give the bride's family gifts you can invite your family friends for this wellcoming party, and the 3rd day my uncles,aunt and sis left me, then everyone started travelling back to their houses cos we did the trad in the village and our both parents are not based in the village. So imagine after all this ceremony in my village and my husband's village and I now travel to lagos with dh, I will now carry my bag and go to abj to stay with my parents and say that I am not married? Hell no. My bible tells me that God is everywhere, my mama family get men and women of God and pastors prayed for us on our trad day. Just go to court and get your cert
ReplyDeleteMy friend bcos of white wedding made her hubby to collect loan and is still paying for loan after 2 yrs of wedding.
ReplyDeleteYour friend's hubby must very silly. Hope his wife is happy now watching him paying debt after wedding.
DeleteLmao
DeleteOn top of that you will now invite people who won't even bring any gift to the couples starting a new home but are ready to come eat party rice in this recession. Why someone will want to please society and then go home and start marriage with debts beats me.Cut your coat according to your cloth.
Hmm. Come to think of it, na true o cos the whites don't do 2 but1 .
ReplyDeleteWe blacks and copy cat sha.
Aha! My friend in the US and I had the same argument few months ago. To be honest, that's the truth. White wedding is their own 'traditional marriage'. Even Indians do their traditional marriages once and for all. The reason we like to do the English style wedding is because we want to wear that dress. So yes, we add that to our own style of marriage. But my dad says, once you're joined traditionally, bride price taken and you've been blessed and prayed for, you're married. Everything else is fanfare.
ReplyDeleteGbam
DeleteIf you don't do trad, no church will wed you. A catholic church cancelled a wedding bcos theey didn't pay bride price
ReplyDeleteThat's lie my cousin wedded @ St Charles borromwer Catholic Church Sept 2005 without her brideprice being payed.
DeleteThe white traditional wedding is mostly celebrated here because it's monogamous in nature and protects the wife's interest under the Marriage Act. Our traditional marriage doesn't offer such protection since our native law and customs views it as potentially polygamous.so, most women will opt for the 'white wedding' which can be celebrated in the church or registry simply because it offers more rights yo the wife than our traditional wedding. At least it recognises her as the legal wife, some benefits upon divorce, and parental rights as well.
ReplyDelete1million likes
DeleteI have seen terrible things in the life of mine
ReplyDeleteA couple; pastor and wife coming to the clinic to "terminate a pregnancy" (of which I don't do anyway)
Reasons; they have not done "white wedding", "the church will excommunicate them" etc.
I was mad; why? You don't even know the scriptures or you want to obey the church traditions at the expense of God's commands?
I opened the scriptures and asked him a simple question; when did Christ become the bridegroom of the church . . .
"After he paid with his blood . . ." he answered
Then I told him that since you've paid the lady's bride price, she is your wife and if the "church excommunicates you" for doing the right thing, bear it as persecution for living a godly life in Christ . . .
They left promising to do as I said
Look folks, the "church" (Pentecostals especially) are killing a lot of babies and burying all in the name of "white wedding", "we do not wed pregnant bride" etc.
Everything that is hidden will be revealed!
Ignorance at its peak. Some People don't open the Bible themselves, everything is just because 'pastor' said so....
DeleteAnd the pastors ththselves are after their own belly.
The gifts they enjoy. The prominence. The accolades. They even have lists of items that must be provided before they officiate putting their flock under undue pressure. Preaching what God did not send them.
My eyes don see tire....
What we call "white wedding" is actually "church wedding". The thing is traditional wedding doesnt give room for religion as such so africans prefer to have a wedding ceremony conducted by the church as we are a very religious continent same way we have also imbibed the court wedding too. As forthe choice of outfit, the ideology of white signifying purity and the fact the bible describes "brides" as pure virgins is what has affected the choice of outfit. In my opinion, church wedding is a good emulation. if we can honor the legal constitution by having court weddings, why not the higher court which is the church
ReplyDeleteMy dear, 'White Wedding' means 'European's Wedding'. We're the one here that changed it to 'Church Wedding'. The Europeans wear white wedding gown for their wedding and we copied it because they're the one that brought Christianity to Africa. You can wear a white wedding gown and not Wed inside a church, check out Tuface/Annie's white wedding. You can wear a white wedding gown for registry
Delete*Larry was here*
I am a Christian and I and wife had good hot sex for the first time on the night after I have paid her bride price.
ReplyDeleteIf you know any scripture where wedding is done in the church, tell me; show me
The church like wedding because of income and members it generates . . .
In as much as nothing is wrong with church weddings,
You are married when your bride price is paid
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DeleteWHite wedding is an economic waste.
ReplyDeleteFor me, the God factor especially in His house is paramount.
ReplyDeleteCopy copy has entered our system and nothing can be done about it now. Only In Nigeria will couples do
ReplyDelete1) Introduction
2) Traditional marriage
3) White Wedding
4) Court Wedding
And one year or two years later, they're screaming either DV or Cheating or Juju. Mshewwww
We go dey alright finally
Lol
DeleteNo it is not necessary but Africa is becoming westernized,hence copy everything. Nothing wrong with sticking to our origin. I think white wedding is just a ceremony to solemnize in front of Family and God. But can we have a traditional wedding and then ask a pastor to solemnize it?
ReplyDeleteIts possible. In a way, you can fix it in a traditional wedding
DeleteThat's some Africans for you, always coping without reasoning.
ReplyDeleteThe moment a lady's bride price is paid and the traditional rites have been settled, she is married.
I shake my head when I hear a lady say she is getting married (white wedding) on .... date like she's not married already after traditional marriage.
To each his/her own. I'm not doing more than registry and TM. To thy tent O Isreal!
Me too
DeleteABI O. WASTING MONEY FOR NOTHING
ReplyDeleteI think it's necessary based on the fact that during white weddings the marriages are blessed in church by an ordained minister.
ReplyDeleteIn a way right, in a way not. I believe trad is the main wedding where parents, family friends and well wishers formally agree to wed the couple. I see Church more as a Christian blessing where you worship, because God definitely recognises the trad marriage. Some value the white wedding more, just do you and be wed and flee fornication.
ReplyDeleteI had similar discussion with mom sometime ago. It's the tradition of the church. (Catholic). Until then it is recognized that the sacrament of marriage has been blessed by God.
ReplyDeleteIf we can do our cultural tradition, why no do the church tradition as well? There's no need to make it elaborate (for struggling persons)
I've always known this in my head. The essence of white wedding in Nigeria then was to make the marriage WHOLE before God since traditional wedding had rites that were 'unacceptable' by the church. But now, things are changing, people are evolving. Those 'unacceptable' rites have become obsolete, and even a Priest can now be invited to your Traditional wedding and your marriage will be made WHOLE not just before man, but before God
ReplyDeleteSome people claim that just White Wedding is widely accepted in the case of international passport and other international documents but I know Court marriage have also got that covered
Yes it is necessary bcx we get to wear "white gown"
ReplyDeleteAre you serious?😂😂😂😂😂😂😂
Delete😂😂😂😂
DeleteBoth are same with different attire.
ReplyDeleteOnce you perform the rites and traditional stuff, you are good to go. The supposed "white" wedding is bonus.
One girl was singing it so loud in my ear that her husband "must" do traditional, "white" court and what have you before she follow him home. And I was like "NNE are you for real".
Most Nigerians just copy what they have no knowledge about.
girls/ladies/women fancy the so Called white wedding because of what they see in movies,fantasize about wearing the so Called Cinderella gown blah blah
ReplyDeletedear future wifey be prepared that after trad no shit like white wedding
#GOAT™
What about the Muslims? They don't do White Wedding and I think their Nikkai is like a traditional wedding too?
ReplyDeleteNikkai is the one they go to mosque right? That's their white wedding
DeleteYes, but they're some questions they will ask the couple during Nikkai that is not asked in TW, also the bride price in Nikkai is paid to the bride unlike in TW
Delete*Larry was here*
Starry Larry, I just learnt something new.
DeleteDo they pay bride price for traditional marriage and still pay another during nikkai? @Starry Larry?
Yes, in Nikkai it's called 'Saadahki', it's the third compulsory thing to be done in Nikkai, they ask the wife to ask anything she wants from her man, and it's compulsory the man pay her before they can be joined together. The man might have given her in private before that day, and once they get to that aspect, the woman will say he has given her. And if they've not done that in private, the woman will publicly ask for whatever she wants from her husband, but it must be what the man can afford. If that part is not done to satisfaction, they can't proceed with the Nikkai rite.
DeleteFor the TW bride price, it's among the Traditional List from the bride's family and the wife is not entitle to that. But mostly in Yorubaland, the bride's family usually return the bride price with the statement that 'we're not selling our daughter'. Hope you're satisfied with the explanations?
*Larry was here*
Thank you Starry Larry.
Deleteto me, its not necessary. it puts unnecessary pressure on couples. if a pastor is there at your traditional wedding to pray for your marriage, its ok. without the traditional wedding or bride prize paying, no pastor will even wed you that is to show that they know what they are doing. tradition still stands supreme.
ReplyDeleteIt's not necessary. If we want to do church blessing, simply do that.
ReplyDeleteI heard for sometime church wedding wasn't accepted as proof of marriage just traditional and court. My colla guess in the bank was asked to either provide any of the two as proofor one years back.
Jewish wedding, white wedding (as we call it), scottish wedding, irish wedding which we see celebrated are all traditional wedding and are very different from each other, cos it's their custom.
Even some white weddings in America are either done in the garden or a hall not a church, and Nigerians are gradually starting that.
We're the one here that termed White wedding as Church Wedding. It means White people's wedding
Delete*Larry was here*
I find it silly how after the traditional rites most people wait until the 'church wedding' to actually feel married.
ReplyDeleteI have never like the white wedding thing. What blessings could any pastor pray for that would be more genuine than the ones from my parents during the traditional rites? ( I assume most people do it because they think it's religious and comes with a special blessing from 'God')
I just want the traditional rites done in my dad's living room in the presence of both families of course. Get legally married too and leave for my husband's home. No party
whatsoever!
MISS Jacobs.
No party... Lol
DeleteThank God we are gradually waking up. The earlier the constitution makes traditional wedding as legal as white wedding by providing marriage certificate for traditional weddings, the better. The worst is statements like "this is the only wife that counts cos she got married in the church". This is just plain irritating. Another thing is the people, especially the youths of this country need constant orientation and programming to set our priorities as individuals and our priorities as a country right.
ReplyDeleteAda.
It's optional and not compulsory.
ReplyDeleteThe church wedding ( where u sign registry o) and a registry wedding done in court pretty much achieve the same thing legally. So can do trad and registry or u do trad and church.
But of course u can do all 3 if u hav d cash and time.
Speaking about borrowed traditions we live in a borrowed world sef so ain't nth wrong!
Even the English language did not originate from England or America. But we all speak it with d English and American. Now we dey hear say Jollof rice originate from Senegal.but Nigeria is laying claim. Na so world be.
Adopt what suits u for the best reason possible.
Nahso.com
Wow, this is so true. Funny how I've never figured this before now. And yes, I believe that only the traditional Marital rites of each indigenous Nigerian ethnic group should suffice in joining two as one but with the advent of Christianity and the general copy copy ways of Africans, na so we dey marry and then remarry the same person lol. Even me sef, I'd do two weddings too lol.
ReplyDeleteI have always known white wedding to be the traditional wedding of the Westerners. It goes to show how much hold colonial masters still have on African. When it comes to marriage in Africa, "Dowry" payment is the only thing that matters. The only reason why people have court marriages is for security and travel purposes.
ReplyDeleteIf u no do white wedding nau, it will be u don't have money
ReplyDeleteWhite people brain washed us. Most Africans (95%) value white wedding more than traditional wedding forgetting that the so called white wedding is White's tradition.
ReplyDeleteTell average African lady that you will Wed her traditionally only, she will tell you not disturb yourself about traditional marriage and do only white because she has imagined herself on her wedding gown.
African ladies and wedding gown be like 5&6. They will be like who traditional wedding help? Forgetting that someone in the Bible told his people to go and marry for his son in another land and told them to do everything the lady's tradition demands. (Pastor Kris via iPhone 7+ please help me out with the Bible verse... Lol)
As for me traditional marriage all the way.
As for me, after traditional marriage is straight to court. I can always get a church blessing to fulfill all righteousness. Just for the member ship
ReplyDeleteTraditional marriage is d legit, it's our tradition Nd we must follow it,,,u cnt even do white without d traditional marriage, d minister officiating d ceremony will ask d couple if d answer is no, d wedding will b called off or put on hold....
ReplyDeleteWat I dnt understand is d court marriage ish, I dunno which one is important..it's confusing jor...
I go soon cancel my white wedding now.. .. I've refused to calculate our spending for the trad, each time I wanna try, headache go start. Now white again. Mtcheew
ReplyDeleteHahaha, buy enough paracetamol and one carton of bottle water so any time the headache start, you take them
DeleteI had a traditional and a legal/ court registry. We used our white wedding money to buy a house. We just thought it'll be a waste to have a wedding and have people come eat, drink, take away and leave us with bearing the massive cost! I remember the evening after the traditional marriage, my dad called me into his room, gave me back the bride price money and told me I'm the one starting life, so I should take the money and save it for a rainy day for myself! I'll never forget that!
ReplyDelete...but then again, most girls dream of wearing a beautiful white dress and having an amazing wedding so, if you have the funds for that and have bought a house you two would live in, a savings to start life together, then by all means, go and have the best time of your life, have your dream wedding!
I calculate the cost of traditional wedding and white wedding esp where people come eat, drink, take gits + the rentals and leave you with the massive debts to pay, highest they will spray you with #50 and #100.
DeleteNice plan you two made
Bought a house?! Woow. So sensible.
DeleteWhite wedding is just adding extra cost because the koko of the matter is the trad and once that's done u are good to go. Besides you can present the photos of your traditional wedding as proof of your marriage at the embassy.
ReplyDelete@Highness Gwen...your last paragraph wasn't necessary, are u not a Nigerian?Don't u have parents to accept ur bride price,that u ll now prefer oyibo tradition to yours?be proud of ur heritage.
ReplyDeleteGod bless your dad@tetrina
ReplyDeleteOnce u pay a woman's dowry, she is yours,anyoda thing is by the way, we Africans just Lyk making tins difficult for Ourselves,especilly d women dat would insist on having a two to three million naira wedding
ReplyDeletewhat a wawu anonymous.... do you mean uche odinaka Former Guilder ultimate search winner Uche Odikanwa aka Blackknight . He's a model, actor, dancer and star of the first Gulder Ultimate Search ,GUS 1 (Snake Island).
ReplyDeleteUche is an MBA graduate from the University College Dublin. He's in his 30s and very passionate about fitness. He exercises about four or five times a week
Welcome uche
DeleteTraditional wedding is our traditional, and funny enough it is more unique with all the step by step. Though of their is money white wedding is allowed, if not traditional wedding should cover all
ReplyDeleteWhat about a case where the lady bride price was not paid because she was pregnant,there was a party but the bride price wasn't paid. Then the went to church for church wedding. Please bvs what's your opinion about such marriage,is the marriage valid without bride price?
ReplyDeleteWhy would a church wed a woman that her bride price have not been paid? Hian.
DeleteI will do traditional marriage, court and church wedding biko. Every man with his own. After all, it's my money
The traditional right would be carried out it's only the dowry that would not be paid. That's how it's done in my place.
DeleteThe church will wed them. They won't know anything about it.
When my cousin go married, we didn't know her dowry was not paid because they did all they are supposed to do and correct party.
I think it's only catholic church that wed with pregnancy now.
Catholics don't wed with pregnancy. They do marriage blessing.
DeletePayment of dowry is very very important and no matter how civilized or westernised we are in this country. It can never change. So for me. Thats the most important
ReplyDeleteThose stating that white wedding and court marriage is the only recognized one are you a government child?
ReplyDelete@ Jasmine I think the lady told the priest that it was paid. All that to avoid pregnancy shame but in the actual sense the bride price wasn't paid.
ReplyDeleteHian. Why would she lie na? She should force him to go and pay it o
Delete