Domestic Violence -SHE HIT HIM

*mouth hanging loose*

Yes a woman can beat up a man and for those of you who laugh and doubt...here is how that happens...

Hello Stella,

I was the one that commented thanking you, about domestic violence coming from both sides and ones again Thanks for also addressing the issue of domestic violence and also emphasizing on the fact that domestic violence can also come from both sides. Though, I am a man but was also a victim of severe domestic violence.

NOTE: Not that I could easily overpower her (My ex-wife) and beat her blue-black! As I am naturally the strong type. My allowing her attack and hit me mostly had to do with my upbringing. I was brought up to respect women. In fact, my father while he was alive stood strongly against men who exercisedtheir physical strength against women.

 I remember hitting a girl in secondary school and when he heard about it, he punished me in a way that I will forever, live to remember. And he made it clear to me that no matter what a woman does, I should never ever hit her... And when ‘She overrun her mouth simply walk away’ because a real man will never hit a woman no matter how much she provokes him

Unluckily for me, I met my wife in Holland dated for some months came home to Nigeria to get married... I noticed her violent traits during our traditional marriage. She was so mad that I gave transport money to some of her family members, while she was cussing, all it took for me to provoke her was to emphasize that it was just a token and besides the people I gave the money to were her siblings! Oh my... she went wild and started to hit me and throw stuff around I had to pin her down till help came


Well after the marriage we came back to Holland and the violence continued. When she is calm she will tell me how sorry she is and promise it will never repeat itself again... of course give it a couple of weeks it sure does repeat itself! I have had occasions whereby she had hit me with TV Ipads laptops and stuffs worse there are occasions whereby she has tried to stab me with knives.


Stupidly, I would also make excuses for her and try to convince myself, that she was probably under work pressure or deeply in love thus her violent behavior. But it eventually dawned on me that 99% of the time she was provoked by very little and irrelevant stuff and she hates that when she gets angry and raise her voice, I keep mute or when I reply I never yell for the neighbors to hear us

The painful part was as she is hitting me she is also threatening that; if I talk or do anything she will injure herself tear her dress and call the police on me that I was the one hitting her.... after all, we are living in Europe where issues of domestic violence is taking very seriously and in most cases women are the oppressed and it will always go in her favour.

I endured this for a whole year and decided to either I stay for the sake of trying to make a marriage work and die in the process or move out alive hale and hearty till I find the right partner.

If your partner hits you one time, chances are they will continue. No matter how they plead for you to stay and promise not to do it again, please do not listen! And for those who are under pressure to get married, be careful not to accept anyone who comes your way just because you want to be married, the handwriting is always on the wall when you come by a violent person. Believe me, the same ones who pressurize you into getting married are the same ones who will later gloat when the marriage goes wrong

The truth is as parents it is very important we bring up our children with the knowledge that violence in any form and especially against your loved ones is totally wrong, because, from closely observing my situation, I had come to the inevitable conclusion that we were both products of our upbringing.