STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
MOVING ON IS SO DIFFICULT
Hi Stella.. .
This is my first time of sending a chronicle!
So I met this guy at an event.. We saw each other but we never spoke..i was going through my "people you may know" on facebook, I added him up, he sent a message and we got talking.
We met, liked each other..he asked me out and I accepted.
We got intimate but I didn't give him the cookie as I am "team mermaid" he told me how much he loved sex and can't stay in a relationship without it... But told me he was going to be patient with me.
He told me about other girls in his life (he was with them before me) and promised to cut them off as he kept them so as not to be single.
Whenever issues came up.. He'd be the one to call and resolve things with me .. Until the last quarrel we had, he didn't call.. So I decided to reach out.. I asked that we see.. He accepted. ..he told me I was weird, complicated and he doesn't believe I'm a virgin. I felt bad.
He called that night and asked that we talk but he still brought up the weird and bla bla bla talk.
He told me he doesn't think he can continue and that I should move on. .i told him "Goodnight "
The problem is that I miss the way we hold hands while walking, play, yab each other ...everything.
I reached out some weeks ago when I heard he lost a friend. ..he sounded cool, asked about how I'm doing and where I was and that was it. Since then he hasn't called or chatted me up.. .but he still likes my stuffs on Facebook.
Please, Stella.. .have I lost this battle or do I need to fight more? And please how do I go about it?
Thanks for the platform.
*Babe please stop trying to reach out or trying to prove a point...if he cannot keep to his promise of being patient with you,he will not be able to love you.He wanted the Cookie...let him go and find other thing to take up your time dear.
Better now than later.................LET GO OF TOXIC PEOPLE IN YOUR LIFE:
He's not your man.
ReplyDeleteIncase you don't have a Boo.
DeleteRemember I'm here for you.
I'm the Boo for the Boo-less.
Majority of guys don't know how to suppress sexual urges, at least he was honest about wanting sex. Question is was that all he wanted? I can't say. Only you can answer that, but as a woman, I'll advice you never to go back to a man who left you because of sex, and sleep with him. He'll leave again and it'll hurt you 100x more. You were honest with him as well and seeing as he promised to be patient with you, I don't see the reason why he couldn't be except that he wasn't just into you. For him to tell you to "move on". Wow that's deep. I suggest you do so. Don't ever beg a man for affection no matter how bad it hurts or how hard it is. You'll find another man. You can be bold enough to remove him from your Facebook because keeping him around means you're content with being just friends, when you aren't. Let him go completely. If he's for you, he'll come back on your own terms. Goodluck sweetie, you sound like a really nice person.
DeleteOh and if you're a virgin or celibate and insist on NO SEX, let it be NO SEX. No giving head, no handjobs, no touching etc because you're only teasing and knowing fully well you won't finish what you started, don't start! He'll think you're lying about being a virgin and the trust will become shaky real quick.
DeleteWhats with all thses girls set? Una get cotton wool for eat? You don't fight to keep a guy, but a guy fights to keep the woman he loves. Sex never keeps a relationship. Even as we they talk am reach another person will still send same kind of chronicle in another form.
DeleteBabes please grow some brains bikonu my sisters am begging you.
All that mermaid thing is just a talk my ex gf used to say she is a virgin mermaid blah blah blah one day as the thing sweet her she just fall and me too I fell into a big hole when I asked her I think she said she is a fagin she said yes because she became a born again old things have passed away. I have proposed to my gf now from day one we both enjoy ourselves no fakery nor fuckery she told me her past and I told her mine, you won't believe the ex gf claiming virgin is even looser than her
DeleteSo it's a competition of loose,looser,loosest. Wehdonsah.
DeleteI had always thought that doppelganger is one of the very few that makes so much sense on this blog when it comes to advice.
DeleteTammy1, you made so much sense with your advice. Please register your blog ID and contribute more often. Answers to chronicles are for people like you.
If you still want him in ur life then give him the cookie but if you don't want to give him the cookie which its what he wants then let it go. But on a second thought I think the guy seems like a nice person.follow your heart dear.
ReplyDeleteHe will still leave her after tasting are you ready to live with that poster? The way you feel now I bet it will be x 100 when you give in. What is yours will always come back to you. My friend broke up with her then be because of this then according to him, he vowed that if he ever ran into her single he would wife her. This is a year and a baby later.
DeleteThe guy should be high on firewood smoke.
DeleteDo you know why almost every kid in a ghetto compound acts as if they are high?
Is because everybody cooks with fire wood.
So smokes normally enters their head even without their permission..
After giving him what next
DeleteYou sound weird and complicated I don't blame the guy, sorry I don't have constructive advice for you.
DeleteNne which battle were you fighting? You better cut off from him completely before you get heartbroken like yesterday's chronicle poster. That was how she gave in even with the red light shining danger.
ReplyDeleteI beg, where did we get all these gorimakpa girls from? If a man says move on, do just that? I realize that most girls don't like honest men, he has told you to move on but you want to still grovel and beg him. If he fucks you and goes his way, you'll be the first to scream blue murder. But no, na the one wey go deceive you that you like. Pls girl grow some self esteem no matter how it hurts and move da hell on
DeleteDude only wanted the cookie.
ReplyDeleteYup, this battle is oveeeer!
Move on sweetie.
Good luck.
He has told you what he wants. If you go back, be sure that you will give up the cookie. he seems all about the sex.Remember that there is someone better than him and you don't have to wait for him to come around. If you give him the cookie,will you feel good about it? Will he love you genuinely? Will he stay with you forever?
ReplyDeleteNa wa o,una go just dry drag man like chicken
ReplyDeleteLeave him nah
Love no be by force and not all men will tolerate u being a mermaid but when u find ur own man,even if na ten years ,he go wait ....
Any man that agrees to wait, take him for proper check up.. & take him by surprise or he'd take enhancing drugs and pass.
DeleteMy dear atheist
DeleteLet me use myself as an example
I dated a guy for three years and we didn't have sex for once ,in fact we only kissed four times cos we seldom see each other.
He asked me many times why I didn't want to have sex,I just told him for reasons best known to me.
Then one day we met as usual and I just told him "Boy we having sex today" ,he never believed but then we finally did it for the first time that day and then like that and like that (u get right?).
So to the reason for my epistle,that I will tell u no sex befr marriage doesn't mean we no go still gbensh,we go gbensh on an unexpected day Bcos I must know what I'm bargaining for.
A man shouldn't prioritize sex in any relationship.
Buy me baileys for this my epistle abeg
Atheist, they are actually guys that would agree to wait.
DeleteI met two and there was absolutely nothing wrong with them, I checked... properly. hehehe.
Actually believed them until they gave me several new definitions to the phrase "words are cheap". Smh
Thing is, they are waiting for you alright, but 'boinking' the occasional random chick.
Well, I guess some girls won't mind this kinda 'waiting'.
As for me, i'm just wondering if i'll ever find my way back to celibateville again. It's been a long time I took that path. hehehe
Lol Ibukun have you forgotten last year you told us you're 19 years old???!! So when did all these things you've suddenly been talking about happen??!! Hmmmnnnn! 3 years ke!
DeleteIs like this is the season of desperate mumu girls on rampage
ReplyDeleteWho let una sorry dogs out of cage
You people should stop suffocating Stella with una scratchy low self esteem ikpu
Zuru chiri nchi fuo here Umu ewi
U just killed me😁...senseless girls everywhere even me that's married I don't curr talk less of when I wasn't Men will take u nowhere today na u tomorrow na someone else girls ve sense ohhhhhh....
DeleteMe mah don tire
DeleteHow old are you again? No wonder you said this is your first time of sending chronicles, with what you wrote up, I can see that we should be expecting more chronicles indeed
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
As in ehn
DeleteSee this one. if you are missing him, give him the cookie na. Abi na gold them make your own.
ReplyDeleteYou are mermaid and you are still missing him. Anyway you no get problem. Since he did not eat for you to get heartbreak, then leave him as the thing is paining him badly.
Dont fall for his trap. Be Wise and know that your own husband that will be more than patient will come.
I am sure he is a broke ass bros
I got a new job,it has been very stressful on me,I have been very stressed of late,My OS's is asking me out,he is a married man.Pls how do I manage this?
DeleteAsk for a raise in your salary or a promotion, if he does any go for it. Don't fuck a married man for free!, I repeat, Don't fuck a MARRIED man for free.
DeleteIyoba, I hail o
DeleteAnon 15:42
DeleteDon't date a married man at all. They will treat you so right and well that you will develop standard mentality and every single guy you will meet thereafter won't match up, because you will keep comparing him to your married guy.
Let me give you instances,, a married will can afford to send you money without gbenshing or even seeing you at the beginning. He will remember your birthday and also do something no matter how little. He will give good advice and will be very patient with you. Most times you have misunderstanding he may probably be the one to reach out first. But of course he developed all these attributes because he is married and his wife has taken him through baptism of fire. Single ladies now kind of believe this guy has always been this way, and end up wasting their time with him because they can't find a single guy that has same attributes. Most single guys won't have it because it has to be developed. Settle with your crude single guy and develop him. That nice married man was once a crude single guy.
Very well said Pharaoh.its like a psychological thing and we young ladies fall for it thinking these married men were "born like that" but the moment they see you finish, one is as good as finished.Ladies, hold your hearing aid very well, you won't die if you are single, learn to stand alone, pray to God and ask for your OWN.
DeleteThe problems after 6is much more than 7, the problems you will face after dating a married man will be 10times as big as the time you enjoyed him.
U can't let go?
ReplyDeleteU are hanging on until he fucks u abi?
Ok o!
What does it mean to "be intimate" and
ReplyDelete"not to give the cookie"
I thought intimacy is sexual intercourse
Or are you also a "head giver" and pretend to be celibate?
Hasn't he seen it all and felt it all; what else?
Why should a man marry you because you are always there for his eyes to feast on your nudity?
Move on; move on!
That's the reason he told her he doesn't believe she's a virgin.
DeleteA won secondary virgin. You are saying no sex, yet doing everything. What's the diff?
I wonder ooo @ vivilicious
DeleteYour own story is more unlike mine. My last date left me with a huge hole and a very big scar on my life and career. I lost so many things to him, my family, my happiness, my work even I almost lost my life.
ReplyDeleteJust put yourself together just as the same way am doing right now, you will get back all what you lost by God's grace. It can only take time, it must surely be!!
It's well sis,👸👭hugs!
DeletePoster he doesn't love you and after reading Stella's red pen, "receive sense in Jesus name, Amen.
ReplyDeleteLadies stop chasing boys up and down. Move on he will just sleep with you and move on unto the next. Mtcheew
ReplyDeleteLet him go!
ReplyDeleteIf he is truly yours, you guys will end up together at the right time.
Do not give in now and allow him chop because your emotions are getting in the way.
You may only live to regret your actions.
Remain disciplined with your decisions
Women find it difficult to move on because:
ReplyDelete1. They have built "marriage and children in their minds"
2. They have had sex or demeaned themselves in "blowjobs" without marriage etc.
3: Have aborted for him
4: Have introduced him to her people even when he has not proposed
5: They have done wife duties; like "living in", cooking and washing etc. and feel so ashamed to leave and "start afresh" to be "foolish wives"
6: They are just foolish
This is what I've seen in my years as a counselor
Poster where do you fall?
Counselor know it all, some of us found it difficult to move on because he was perfect but AS genotype did not let us. The only guy I got preggers for was the 1st guy I moved on from fastest. worst sex ever... worst mistake ever... worst family boy ever(this one pass mummy's boy as nah every member of him extended family dey control am)
DeleteAnon 15:56 someone wrote an experience, can't you write yours without insults?
DeleteMy dear..there's no battle here at all. He only came for the cookie and since he's not getting it from you he feels you're useless to him and decided to move on to those who can give it to him. I understand that feeling of wanting to love and feel loved...it happens to the best of us but if you decide to give up your pride and dignity, if you decide to give up what others are wishing they had kept, if you decide to give up the gift meant for that man that'll take you and make you his for life...then be rest assured that you would hate yourself afterwards. Keep your chastity for the right man....leave this sperm distributor alone....you would be proud of yourself tomorrow... STDs are everywhere...for someone who claims to love sex...do you think he would be okay with just one sexual partner or even use protection? BIG NO!!!! move on dear...you're a Jewel...start seeing yourself for whom you are.
ReplyDeleteStella I don't even see this one as toxic. They are just of two different mind-sets.
ReplyDeleteu r lucky he has opened up to tell you the truth way before you got so deep into it..
Dude has told u straight up that he cant live a lie and not do without the cookie..stop singing that u r finding it difficult to move on.
MOVE ON
Unless u will find urself giving him the cookie out of self pity, less worth to urself and he will still DUMP u..
Stand for what u believe in
I don't see the struggle here really..just random emotional attachment. Go out and play with ur girlfriends and ull be fine..
Am tired of wasting my strength advising all this dumb skull girls of nowadays. Haba,if a man doesn't want you there's nothing you can do about it. Ladies should learn to move the hell once the center can no longer hold.
ReplyDeleteNB
Don't ever beg any man or woman to stick with you,forever is too long to keep begging.
Allah abaki ankuri,kinji.
Kina ji hausa ni?
DeleteYa sunanki?
Mc pinky
😂😂😂 I share the same sentiments as your first sentence!! Person go dey advice the same thing every time. The most annoying was that one of yesterday.
Delete@Adeniji,eeh inaji sose fah. Sunana gimbiya maikau..
DeleteSannu fah,yaya katsina?
@chikie,the thing don tire walahi talahi..the same circle over and over again. Make unah pity our fingers wey dey type the advice small now.
Stella I disagree with your last statement about him being toxic. The guy is a good guy cause he respects her stand and have decided to walk away. He knows he can't deal with the "No sex" condition but it's the lady that should let go. It's not about being patient but about knowing what you want in this case. And don't get me wrong am not supporting or encouraging sex before marriage but I am NOT against it either cause it's a personal decision. My advice to you lady is please let GO so that you can also move on to meet someone who will take and accept you as you are.
ReplyDeleteAnother desperate olosho chronicle
ReplyDeleteOlosho..... This ur name sef na 4th world war.
DeleteAllah
Mc pinky
He is being a nice guy and letting u go on time yet u want to chase him. If he agrees now and cheats on u, u'll start crying wolf
ReplyDeleteIf you've not trully xperienced love that failed from one end & leaving u the victim, you'd never know how difficult it is to pull away, trust me I've been there..... Everythg will remind you of the person, evrywhr u turn u'd see happy couple, even birds on a tree will be in 2s, ur ears will only catch love & romantic musics on the street, if u manage to turn on ur TV, even CNN will be advertisin a luxury hotel in Venice for happy couple, lol..... Its easy to type "Move on" if u hvnt walked in her bathroom slippers.
ReplyDeletePls don't give meaning to ur stuffs he likes on FB, he's just being nice. Just take it one step at a time, but while ure at it, keep ur dignity in check, there should be a rehab for heartbroken ppl in this country, just like Australia, very helpful.
Which battle?
There's no battle my dear.
There was never a battle.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteBest reply, obviously from one who has the experience. My own even asked me to choose one thing I wanted him to do, of course without saying it I knew marriage wasn't in the offering. I borrowed myself brains and walked out, very difficult and to tell the truth I still want to be with him but I am still living and breathing without him.
DeleteOluchi, why remove ur comment na? Is it cus u said u heart my amazing personity just like ur boo?? *ntoooor*
DeleteYou are just too intelligent.. We need more of your type in this country
DeleteMove on jare
ReplyDeletePlease oh. Aunty which battle are you fighting? If I sand you enh!
ReplyDeleteIf a man can't accommodate|cherish your'uniqueness', let him go.
Guys that claim they can't do without sex irritate me. Let go of the asshole. Even if he marries you, he would still cheat. Bloody Idiot!!!
ReplyDeleteMy advise to everyone here, please test the microphone before getting married, please nothing like wait till after marriage... I HAVE SAID MY OWN
ReplyDeleteTesting microphone oooo.. TerryG testing microphon3 ooo
DeleteU are bad to be bv
Mc pinky
But the guy's microphone sounds well in this case. Anyway, I kinda agree with you especially women need to do "sound check" on their potential microphone cause a lot of them will come back and say Na "speakers" they end up settling with that how do they cope. My advice especially to ladies is be careful when a guy says no testing or tasting of the cookie. Ask why and make sure he is fit in that area before committing. God help us all with non performing microphones and inaccessible cookies.
DeleteStop chasing him, if he is yours he wil come back
ReplyDelete#Letgooftoxicpeople# Babe he is not just into you..He wants to buy a commodity from you and you dont have what he wants, is it not fair to allow him buy from somewhere else..He loves sex so let him be...I dunno why you are disturbing yourself..let the love you seek find you ok..You will be fine and also you are fighting no battle cos you have defined it in the beginning..Its just the blues it will pass away...
ReplyDeletePlease listen to these songs it will help you.
**Fuck You by Cee Lo Green
**Back to Black By Amy Winehouse
***Listen By Beyonce
***we are never getting back together by Taylor Swift
**Irreplaceable by Beyonce
**Somebody I used to know By Gotye, Kimbra..
It will help you..Thank me later
Somebody that I used to know is a good song
DeleteSomebody that I used to know is a good song
DeleteWhen people say move on ..I just laugh .Like its that easy to move on ! If it was easy they wont be sending chronicles.
ReplyDeleteBabe, we've all been there , so i can understand how u feel.My advice is follow ur heart, if u r not ready to let him go , then fight for it. Some have fought and won and some have fought and lost, but u will never know till u try.Maintain ur no cookie rule but call him and tell him exactly how u feel about him. that might just be all he's been waiting for ..
My dear I understand hw u feel!ve bn in ur shoes!its not dat easy,but uv got to be strong! If u end up giving dat guy ur cookies,he wd jst chop and clean mouth! Besides he has already told u he loves sex,dat means wat u nt givn him in sex,oda babes are givin him vry well!just look for tins dat wd distract u,so dat u nt be tinking of him! I wish u all d best dear!
ReplyDeleteYou have no battle just that yo are whiling away ur precious time na ni.
ReplyDeleteReceive sense
Mc pinky
Nwayioma poster, u aint fighting any battle oh, he wants the cookie and he knows u don't want to give in, so please let him be gone
ReplyDeleteI swear Stella,, some beevees here r just too funny..
ReplyDelete@Chamelon.. Keep it up.. Am loving u d more
@sexydaddy, sperm business to daju.
Poster,,, run as fast as possible bt if u think i cant cope den open ur jerusalem
Mc pinky
Love you too Bisi
DeleteMove on, you will be fine. You deserve better.
ReplyDeleteSMall girl still dey your head abi? If after teling you to let go and you decided to open legs for him, shame on you. Get busy with God.
ReplyDeleteStop calling sweetheart. If he wants u, he knows how to reach out to u. There's no battle to fight here. If u go back, are u willing to have sex with him,which by the way u might end up deeply regretting? Nobody is worth picking God over. Move on darling. If he does come back, it will be on ur terms, and if he doesn't, keep smiling, God's got ur back. All the best.
ReplyDeleteStop calling sweetheart. If he wants u, he knows how to reach out to u. There's no battle to fight here. If u go back, are u willing to have sex with him,which by the way u might end up deeply regretting? Nobody is worth picking God over. Move on darling. If he does come back, it will be on ur terms, and if he doesn't, keep smiling, God's got ur back. All the best.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing like I can do without him or her..it just a gradual process..grieve as much as you can.. Think of something about him that you hate so much to move on.. So yours too won't be Like the other lady chronicle
ReplyDeleteSo after managing to keep Juliana closed for sooooo long it is now that you are thinking of opening her up. You better give yourself brain and let that guy go. Let me tell you something else, if you allow that guy gbensh you there'll be two things involved. Either he has a big pipi or a small pipi. Being a first timer if he has a small pipi good for you but if he has a big one you're on your own #hewilljustscatterthatclityamayama all I'm saying is "get over him".
ReplyDelete#miss. That man is not your husband. God will send you your husband soon if you can wait patiently.thank u
ReplyDeleteGo and learn from yesterday chronicle
ReplyDeleteBabe move on!!! You've lost the battle.kapish? Guy has told you the truth now, don't come back crying wolf if you insist on seeing him and then dumps you when he has had his fill. Run along now that you still can and don't complicate things for yourself.someone else will come along eventually
ReplyDeletePoster.......my own advice for you is to let him be for now. Face your job or studies, if he's truly in love with you, he would come back to you.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me, if he doesn't come back then he doesn't love you....
Poster forget about him, he was looking for cookies jar, thank God you did not hang legs, the guy will sleep with you and still dump you, just delete him and never you force yourself on any man.
ReplyDeleteMove on.. simple and short
ReplyDelete