WOW!!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONNECTED BY LOVE;RELATED BY BLOOD
Good morning and trust you had a great night rest? Thanks you for this avenue. Please hide my ID and email. Am a silent BV for about a year now.
I have this issue bothering me since yesterday, probably didn't get enough sleep because of it. Decided to throw it in the open.
I have been dating this wonderful man,AA genotype (am AS and it's not been easy to meet a good AA man) and God just gave this man to me when I had to end my relationship with my AS boyfriend that year.
When I say it's been a smooth ride,I really mean it, don't think we have ever had a fight in our 2 years together and did I mention it's a no sex relationship which he completely understood and agreed to. Caring to a fault, puts me first and consults me before he takes any decision. We are both from the same town in Anambra State. My best friend and am not just goshing.
During our two years, during conversations,I noticed that for some reasons he knows almost every aunty or uncle I mentioned, we just assumed that maybe it's because my family is kind of popular, so we never paid attention to it.
Few days ago, as we were discussing family again, it clicked that we might be related, he called his mum to confirm how and if his family is related to mine and I called my mum to ask the same about his.
According to both mums, my grandma and his grand ma are siblings. So my dad and his mum are cousins. He opened up to his mum to tell her everything that needs to be told about me, his mum said that we can't marry that am her cousin's daughter.
Dear Ndi igbo in the house, is there a way around this? Can we really not marry? We are from the different villages ooo, his mum got married to a man from another village.
I really don't know what to think. Can't handle another break up from another good man.
I need answers or contributions? Or who knows people like us in a similar situation?
From a confused heart.
*WTF...you have been dating a guy for two years and only just finding this out?Have you guys been hiding and dating?your mums never met?
I dont have answers for your questions,just confused about this....
Go ahead and marry him biko
ReplyDeleteIts not like ur mum and his mum are siblings,so?
Please poster look for another guy.
DeleteA man in my village stubbornly married his relative. He's dead now and his children are scattered everywhere. I don't have strength to type biko but the stigma is unbearable.
The God you serve will bring you a better man.
Happy birthday to me.
No they can't lol , the relationship is off two females and not two male cousins offsprings ...
DeleteIt's not right biological.
Hypocrite, will u marry your relative? I don't blame you, your mom did runs with an expat n gave both to you, obviosly u donno who your father is, bastard.
Delete''During our two years, during conversations,I noticed that for some reasons he knows almost every aunt or uncle I mentioned, we just assumed that maybe it's because my family is kind of popular, so we never paid attention to it.''So please answer me, he knew them as in just friend or what?
DeletePlease hook me up with your brother Boyfriend,im from Anambra and I'm pretty sure we aren't related. Thanks love, u obviously can't marry your brother.
DeleteNwannem its a pity but u HV to let go... Na ur blood be DAT no matter how u paint it, unu bu nwanne
DeleteThe link is close and you are asking. Ibo people will never let you guys marry. In my town, there are villages that don't permit their members to marry just because each village is the descendant of some siblings. You can imagine how many generations don pass yet dem no gree them intermarry. Thank God you never born or get belle. E 4 bad for u
DeleteBabe don't bother. It's not possible. Even if u both become stubborn, d umunna won't be a part of it. And there can't be any intro or trad without d umu nna. So kill it now and face front.
DeleteGwen wat re u saying? These two re 2nd cousins n u say they shud go ahead n get married?
DeleteIm as surprised as Stella, 2yrs n u only just tot it fit 2 check it out? U both must b so unserious. Maybe s "no sex" part was d blood working in ur favour otherwise nor b dis yeye question u 4 dey ask by now. Better release ur lovely cousin 4 sdks single 2 cm mingle o.
Poster,
ReplyDeleteNothing can be done!,..
You guys are not compatible at all!..
No "nmekwatarism" here...unless you guys want to bring a curse to una selves!..
A very big curse oh!...
It's hard but men never finish nah!...
Thank God you guys have not gbenshed too!...
Ezigbote abomination ka obu. Even though you are from different villages, Kolewerk!!! Ndo!
DeleteAunty poster, he is your second cousin, how did you guys not even know each other. My second cousins look so much like my mum sef . Pls you guys are highly related, maybe that's why you blended so well
DeleteIts best you end this relationship another good man will find you.
DeleteYes oh! @queens last line.
DeletePoster how come you're jist finding out? You didnt investigate when things started getting deep? Ohh.... the poor girl. Your heart must be in pieces right now *hugs*
Ermmm, I just noticed that one of the bitter frustrated simpletons in da house has just cloned my Id. Checked the details and noticed the egoat impersonator created abi cloned my Id two hours ago of todays date being 7th. No shaking!!! Will use you as a scape goat soonest. Hehehe!
DeleteBy the way, you all can check how the bitch is crying over her current status. Oh yes, Its a woman. This '40 years anty' is a veryyyy happy sombori and a million of you cant take that away. Keep trying..
Who are you that someone would want to impersonate you na? Calling someone a simpleton on top blog matter again o. People like you don't have a life outside this blog, and that's why you come to bully people under anon mode. Atleast I have the decency to bully using my I.D, and not go anon. See what you said about poor Eniola. Stop balming me, instead, blame the anonymous mode that fucked you up. Bitter gweg
DeleteWas surprised at ur comment on Eniola's post right after u supported her.
DeleteQueen dalu for helping me type.
DeleteThat's by our second cousin. Just because you never knew each other don't mean you are not related. I know how close my family is to our second cousins. Forget it and move on jor.
DeleteIt is a pity girl; it can't fly!
ReplyDeleteSimply let go and let God;
Go to the God you worship in prayers and fasting
And he will give you a man after his heart
You can't marry your cousin even from another country
Do not listen to those who will quote the Old Testament prior to Leviticus for you
Read Leviticus 18 and the New Testament for knowledge
You already know the answer Poster...even before you asked. And even if we all support you here, the family will not.
DeleteTaaaaaaaaaaa!
ReplyDeleteLike it or not u guys are related,I can bet the guy won't be interested again, don't force it.
In other words u and ur guy are second cousins...that’s 'close' in Igbo tradition. If after the consultations and enquiries swthrt and ur people insist u can't be married, don't push it. It's difficult knowing wot u have been through.
DeleteTrust God on this one. Let go and let God, ur Mr Perfect will find u and he's prolly round d corner.
Mitchelleobatu.blogspot.com
Your parents are in the best position to answer this question.
ReplyDeleteHe is your relative, what do u want us to tell u?marry him? Already u are talking about AA so that we would say no more good guys that are AA so marry him or what? U better get sense nd let it go, no matter the love I have for a man, once they say we are related I would not think twice before I let it go, stop making it look like u can't get someone else again.. aren't u ashamed u want to marry a family member? Yes am harsh on u because for u to bring it here means u want us to convince u to marry him! Nawa the struggle to be married
DeleteMaybe this is the reason why God helped you maintain no sex relationship. My dear, from my own place, you can't marry. You mean for a whole 2years, you've not been talking about your background, family house, home town etc. So what have you been discussing about all these while???
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Help me ask her o!
DeleteLarry your head is on your neck jare. Dear poster please please don't marry him, he is your relative, you guys share almost if not the same bloodline. God will bring your own.
DeleteEverything being said in this church today isn't just entering my head,I am dripping wet!can't wait to go home n gbensh hell outta this man of mine.
ReplyDeleteChai *in mama peace voice*
Delete😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀😀
Why did you go to church in the first place
DeleteHehehehehehe
DeleteMay God forgive you.
Any way around it to tell you that you ain't related again?well I heard is from 6th generation
ReplyDeleteVery tough one i guess but the blood is a bit far i think u guys can marry.the thing is that most marriages like this are always having one problem or the other.
ReplyDeleteShe's igbo, she's not from hausa or yoruba where they marry their first cousins.
DeleteShut up! They can't marry
DeleteAnon, so Yoruba people marry their first cousins? Don't be ignorant. It's a taboo.
DeleteThat means they can't marry.
DeletePoster, leave this relationship and trust God to give you the best. Hugs dear. It is well.
See kweshion oo!!!Madam don't leave your cousin you hear,keep asking ndii igbo kweshions,orzuai
ReplyDeleteNot everyone like to introduce their boyfriend to families, what of if it did not work out
ReplyDeleteAs for your poster leave the guy alone,i am sure they won't alone you both marry for that matter
What of if? Wrong English ma!
DeleteNot everyone like to introduce their boyfriend to families, what of if it did not work out
ReplyDeleteAs for your poster leave the guy alone,i am sure they won't alone you both marry for that matter
Why won't you guys be related by blood? when anambrians will never marry from other state. They always love to marry from within their home town. Very backward and myopic thinking set of people.
ReplyDelete😂😂😂 i don't know about being backward. But i know they like to marry amomgst themselves. I have some family friends from Nnewi. It got so bad they took us girls one by one to Nnewi for christmas/easter. Cos their dad believes that all the best men are from Nnewi and my father needed to understand that 😂. When it was my turn i dodged sha. U know I'm always the rebel in my house 😉
DeletePrincess, Biko calm down with this insult of yours Abeg. Why insult the state and it's people when you can't even offer advice to the poster.
DeleteAnd which statistics show that Anambarians don't marry outside. You only hear-say then conclude they don't marry outside.
Go and make ur research
Trinity e aff vex ☺☺☺
DeleteBut that's something to worry about o. Hope in future, stuff like this won't be happening?
Sorry not Trinity. Intelligent babe. Hehehe
DeleteMoron princess, I'm from Anambra but married to a non Igbo, I recently went to their village meeting only to realize we there are too many of us from Anambra state married there.
DeleteShe might sound abit harsh but that's true only 2% of anambra men or even less marry outside their state these group are mostly guys that their mum is not anambra or born & breed outside igbo land even the ones breed outside igbo land their family always prefer within marriage for them, anambra man getting married to Imo state girl is always mission impossible, he rather marry yourba woman sef but anambra ladies marry everywhere cos most families has more girls sha.
DeleteVery heartbreaking to let go someone who means the world to u. Poster whether the mum marry another town or not, u guys are still related break up is eminent
ReplyDeleteTwo years and U don't even know anything about his family?Oga o
ReplyDeleteMadam una can't marry.
ReplyDeleteYou should even be happy you haven't gbenshed each other.
ReplyDeleteTake heart sis.....It may not be easy but you have to let him go. Another good man will come.it is well dearie
ReplyDeleteHmmm
ReplyDeleteThis is deep
But Hausa people marry each other o(cousins)
Don't know about ur people sha
But Edo people don't do it
True @hausa.
DeleteU right, Hausa and Edo people can marry their far relatives like cousins upward
DeleteThey marry distant cousins not near cousins. If you look at it sef, genealogically, we all are related. It's just better to take a dump far from your house.
DeleteHausas and fulanis marry their first cousins. Especially matrilineal
DeleteAccording to the little Igbo tradition I'm aware of, both of you cannot get marry.
ReplyDeleteIt will be considered to be an abomination.
Grandma did say it has to get to about the 7th generation or so before marriage can be considered traditionally legal.
Might differ from state to state tho
Poster that's your brother!
ReplyDeleteWhat do you want to hear again? That you should go ahead and marry him cause of love? I'm sure you guys must have atleast kissed and romanced
Abomination!!!
End that relationship and ask God for forgiveness.
My great grand mum and my husband's grand mum are siblings....
ReplyDeleteProducts of incest. Are you igbo? Just asking.
DeleteNa real wa
DeleteHmmmmmmm, this is serious
ReplyDeleteJust break it off now. There is no way around it.
ReplyDeleteIn an igbo community you can marry each other only when you break the blood of "siblinghood" by doing what they call IKPU ALU.
ReplyDeleteCan you throw more light on this IKPU-ALU because I know they can't get married no matter what
DeleteI just ask an elder now to reconfirm my advice
DeletePoster if you are sure and your mind is made up about marrying the guy. Then you can go along with the IKPU ALU thingy.
According to the person I asked...he said among other things required to break the bond is ESU ie a millipede. Once the rites is completed and the esu is cut into two..you guys are no longer related and can now marry each other.
He even gave me intances of people that have done it in the past and they living okay.
He is even suspecting I must have gotten involved with a relative. See me see wahala.
In my place it is called 'igbu ewu nwanne' though I have never seen where it was successfully done.Too much stress if you ask me.
DeleteYou are very right.
Delete@kiks it's really stressful and scary too.
Delete@Kiks,seems we r from the same place
DeleteTo me any traceable relationship is incest... Anyways the northerners do marry their cousins including the northern christians
ReplyDeleteI'm a northerner and I've always found marriage by such close relatives creepy. Sometimes close cousins who grew up in the same house marry. Ewwwww. I admire this Igbo culture that prohibits marriage between relatives
DeleteThat's why they give birth to children with strange disorders
DeleteAuren zumunci in the north.These days children rebel against the match made marriages unless they fall in love themselves. My friend was meant to marry her step brother. I was shocked by this but she refused and her mum refused too. Poster it is hard but the sooner you start disengaging the better for you my dear. Ours is even worse. Same village can't marry, other villages from the same town can't inter marry. May you heal soon.
DeleteSo you date a guy For two years and it's only now that you are looking into his family?!?! My dear, you can't marry him. Coming from different villages makes no difference. The two of you are too closely related.
ReplyDeleteYou can't marry. You are blood relations
ReplyDeleteMy dear its going to be very painful and difficult but you just have to let go, you guys are second cousins it's not just right
ReplyDelete#You can never know the real consequences of your actions. Be careful and kind*
ReplyDeleteMy dear, its incest and der is no way u can marry him.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, it's a taboo!!There is no way around it.. I know it's hard but u have to let go!!! Sorry about this😘
ReplyDeleteOh am so sorry dear but u can't marry him, I know its hard to let go of the one u love but u have to, God will bring another good man ur way, it's even better you guys haven't had sex yet, thank God
ReplyDeleteStory of my life.My ex and I were related and it couldnt have meant a thing if he wasnt a prince.Royalty made it impossible for any cleansing rite to be done.
ReplyDeletena wa o.tons dey happen.yo Iphie dearie I love ur response to Eka bitterleaf on sp dis morning.it's only sadist DAT gets angry when pole testify to good tins happening around them.as she don dey c small goodies now she is testifying too and less bitterness from her.
ReplyDeletePlease I didn't send you to help me like.
DeleteI just typed what I felt like typing.. no one should leverage on it for past wars or something.
You have something to say, please use your ID and let it be as polite as possible.
Cheers💕
Because the story dey touching you won't talk say gbenshing been dey involved (2years) but kissing and romancing was involved. This is called incest... You better go to God in prayer for forgiveness.
ReplyDeleteBecause the story dey touching you won't talk say gbenshing been dey involved (2years) but kissing and romancing was involved. This is called incest... You better go to God in prayer for forgiveness. After alot.
ReplyDeleteBecause the story dey touching you won't talk say gbenshing been dey involved (2years) but kissing and romancing was involved. This is called incest... You better go to God in prayer for forgiveness. After alot.
ReplyDeletePoster......your guy's mum have told you fact of the matter, you two can't marry. Should you go ahead and marry the two families will be against it and such marriage will be doom from the start.
ReplyDeleteHow did you do it that in two years you didn't visit your boyfriend's mother.........because if you had, she would have from the first meeting suspected that you're kind of related.
Let him go, God will guide your steps to meet a good AA genotype man.....please don't let love blind you, stop seeing him now
Poster the bitter truth is that it won't work cos you are related. Hard as it may be to let Go,please do. You will definitely meet and get married to your own man. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteThis one you are talking about his 'scarce' blood group and the fact that you dated him for two years... I hope you will take our advice?
ReplyDeleteLet that Man goooo. HE IS YOUR COUSIN.
Another good man will locate you💕
IMPOSICANT!
ReplyDeleteThis one resemble Rita the fine girl and Matthew of Dublin matter. The used sacrifice to do something, before marriage.
ReplyDeleteI go read comments. Nothing concern me with Ndi Igbo matter.
ReplyDeleteIn my place its called Ikwu(maternal lineage) and you can't marry someone from your maternal lineage.
ReplyDeleteMy dear I know how you feel.But marrying him will cause you a lot of problems and cause which you don't want.is better to let go
ReplyDeleteAsk your dad about the 'ikpu alu' stuff,if you and your guy are OK with what you are required to do,go ahead and do it,then you can get married,but I remember one big Aunty at Uwani that got married to a relative,after doing the 'ikpu alu' they were childless for years,I don't know if they are still married,don't be blinded by love,because I had a distant cousin,that said he would do anything he was asked to do to marry me,guy man travelled to Denmark in the year 2001 came back was,still professing love,travelled back again,hahahahahaha na so e take be,he called me in 2010,and I screamed how did you get my number?and he said,he was going through his old dairy and saw my number,I told him I had 2kids already and he said he has 2 boys,we laughed seriously and he kept gushing about his wife,and so forth,my dear poster in my opinion,forget any 'ikpu alu' rites,seek the face of God,leave your cousin,and the man for you will show up,good luck.
ReplyDeleteBoth of you should meet your parents for more clarification
ReplyDeleteWait didn't cousins marry in the bible
ReplyDeleteBiko go ahead if you want to
I am quite close to my 2nd cousins. All my grand pa and gran mas siblings, their kids and grandkids. We are all tight and grew up as sisters and brothers.
ReplyDeleteDid you ever spend time with your grand parents? You people no dey do family meetings?
I know the names of all my grand parents siblings. Because I am close to them.
People with grand parents still alive,pls spend time with them. Take your kids to greet them.
You can't marry please. It doesn't look good.
Even to have kids it's called inbreeding. You kids fit get medical problems o.
i have previously given a comment on another issue.i am a silent observer going thru her own ish.
ReplyDeleteI REMAIN HAPPY,REGARDLESS. THATS MY SECRET.
Poster,this is a bit easy cos pre marital sex is not involved.
Decide to let go & move on. u will find someone else. the ability to do this however is dependent on ur ability to know how to look& present urself,where to be etc...work in u...d world is ur oyster.
I'm almost in the same boat with you, he's been asking me to marry and we've always known that we were related but I felt we were obviously 4th cousins so I considered giving it a shot cos I heard you can marry from the 5th generation but it turns out that we're 3rd cousins after all and In my tribe it's a no no. So I have decided to wait for my rightful husband. I suggest you break up with him and pray for a better man or you tell your parents let them make enquireis in your village to see if there's a way out.
ReplyDeleteIn my village, there's this sacrifice we call 'omiteh', and after this is done, both of you can marry.
ReplyDeleteIf your parents can't do that for both of you, go get another guy.
My sister l know it's hard especially when you have had a mind set. Second cousins?! No now don't push it . leave oyibo weh call am cousin na ya brother e be . the love you feel for each other is blood love. You know how blood finds its own
ReplyDeleteNo be small Oyibo wey call am cousin, na brother oooo.
DeleteMy dear don't sweat it, it is a big abomination in igbo land.
ReplyDeleteI know of someone who got married to her relative and up till this very moment,she has not conceived.
Don't come and start what you cannot finish ooo.
I am even surprised that you don't know your cousins.
AS genotype can be frustrating, I can relate because I am one but God is still in the business of doing miracles.
Do you really need bvs to tell you that you can't marry him?some chronicles are just for show
ReplyDeleteThe choice is yours
ReplyDeleteMy dear you guys can't marry. You are too related to even consider Ikpu Alu or Iro ibe ene as my people call it. Since you said it's a no sex relationship, that means you've not committed incest.The earlier you come to terms with it and move on, the better for you.
ReplyDeleteYours is even close.
ReplyDeleteMy ex and I were from different states ooo but the elders still refused our marriage plans.
My maternal grandmother and my ex's mother were apparently from the same kindred. they were cousins but still the elders said no.
Its painful dear I know but just break things off and move on.
What kind of nonsense is this?? Don't the families talk to each other, some chronicles I don't understand it all. I know cousins four times remove gan sef.
ReplyDelete