STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
IS THIS OVER REACTING?
Hi Stella,
This is me again! *********** (hide my ID) and here's my chronicle:
I am engaged to a sweet handsome dude who loves and adores me dearly and is a giver to the core.My fiancee is the second to the last born of his mother (he has a younger sister and two younger step sisters), do you know that he is the only one saddled with the responsibility of sending his parents money every now and then, paying his younger sisters' fees and recently his older married sister who works with the paramilitary has been on his neck to send her a huge sum; her husband who works with a multinational oil firm has also been calling him for assistance to renew his rent and that the money on him has been budgeted for an expensive suv, this man earns way more than my fiancee o.
My fiancé's older sister and oldest brother do not even care if their parents eat or put on clothes, everything is on my boo.
One of his older brother live with him presently and he has a small job but this dude is still being spoon fed by his younger brother (my fiance), my boo only stays at home on Sundays cos he works all other days and he eats only at night sometimes but he takes care of everything in the house: if there's anything to be fixed such as repairing the key lock, getting things as small as drinking water, he'll wait for my boo to pay and get it done himself.
I feel things are not to be done this way, how can the last be shouldering the entire family responsibilities as if he is the eldest.
We have our wedding coming up soon and you know its a financially draining venture nowadays, no help whatsoever is being expected from his family except from my family and our collective savings.
I have not really waded into their family affairs ever since, though he has been complaining to me but I feel since I'm not fully in the family yet, I shouldn't interfere.
Please I need to know:
Do I have a right to tell him to stop doing everything but just the necessary ones?
Am I over reacting?
Do I have a cause to worry for the future? Before they will come and say I am the one who is controlling their son not to give them money again after marriage.
Has anyone gone through this before, how did u handle it?
I'll read comments.
Pls bvs I want to know what it means for an agama lizard to climb the leg of a young lady.please house I need to know what this really means. It looks real strange to me
ReplyDeleteI currently know someone who behaves like your fiance. Except he gives to his stupid friends cuz his siblings and parents r comfortable.
DeleteWell, now he's in deep debt and those his friends r d ones gossiping and calling him mumu. Too much of everything is bad. If u can, try and stop him by bringing up things he can invest in. So he will stop having excess to give out.
It doesn't mean anything..
DeleteSo if mosquitoes climb your body, does that mean anything?
The truth is the family knows he's getting married very soon and all the attention towards them will be transferred to u and ur unborn children hence they are trying to get as much money from him now that he isn't settled. Apply wisdom when u want to talk to ur fiance about his family, moreso,don't stop him completely from giving but not as much as he used to and his parents and younger sisters in school should be his priority,every other person should be secondary. Happy married life in advance.
DeleteYou re about to be pregnant with a male child.😆😆😆
DeleteThe people of old thinks its sign of pregnancy. I dont believe tho, but you can go for pregnancy test.
DeleteIt means nothing, stop attributing everything to ise-aye
Delete*Larry was here*
You've asked this question and you were told you are pregnant.
DeleteIt means you are pregnant it once happened to me.
DeleteI agree with @Jules Louis. Bring up legitimate business he can invest in. Moreover, in Africa, it's common knowledge that when a man marries, he turns his attention to his immediate family, so I'm sure they won't be surprised if he stops doing stuff for them after the marriage.
DeleteIt's a good thing that he complains about their demands unlike some that don't see anything wrong with it.
I don't think this is enough reason to postpone or end the engagement as would suggest.
Wish you a very happy home.
It's pregnancy. Be very careful if you are not ready. I'm talking from personal experience.
DeleteOnce you get married the responsibility will shift. Try to get him to invest so that you people can have something now he still has extra money to spare
DeleteIt means your leg is in its way. At this time and age you still reading meanings to natural things. You are the type that always need to be lied to all in the name of prophesy. Ok ...it means your husband will be behaving like an agama lizard. Abeg just save yourself of anxiety. The agama sef don forget say he climb your leg and you still dey carry the matter for head. Continue looking for a fake prophet that will chop your money
DeleteIt means the next play play na pregnancy o. Be very careful n stay celibate for sometime if u no want baby now. Haters will come n say I am superstitious
DeleteWhy are you me? Una dor marry? Abi you and your family get interest for -ee money too? How much have you contributed so far? Wetin concern you? Na your money?
DeleteYou had no business getting involved with this person in the first place. You want to start this early to monitor who he gives money to? Especially his family? You have no right to. If that's how you met the man and take him like that. If he has a problem with it then it's up to him to stop simple. I can't for the life of me understand why women go courting trouble. If you don't like what you see move the hell on. Haba.
DeleteWhen you marry that man and he stops giving his family money they will all blame you and make you miserable in your marriage.
ReplyDelete%100 true! If he earns well no problem if not babe think well!
DeleteMy dear, better run o if you cant stand it now, you will never stand it in marriage, then you will become the devil and they may go diabolical to also control you. Whatever the case is the battle in the future isn't a small one if you get married to him. Buckle your praying and fasting belt then toward this chronicle to him maybe some people would have an advice or two for him. He doesn't owe them anything except his parents, cus are they trying to say if their brother is dead they will not survive Mtchew,
DeleteTrue that.
DeleteEmmm but poster o. Re u sure ure not exaggerating? Hoe can someone ask another 4 rent that his cash has been budgeted 4 a SUV? Na question I ask o.
DeleteThank you trinity. If you want to stop him spending too much on his family, you better start now cos if you wait till he marry you, the whole family will put the blame on you
DeleteTruth is even if you didn't interfere and he stop on his own they will still blame you. When you guys marry maybe responsibilities will make him cut family expenses.
@Tessbaby, it's surprising but true. The man is that shameless; someone who works on oil rigs will still beg his brother in law for money.
DeleteWhat you can't take when you're rich, please reject while you're still poor. It's high time you start setting rules, advice your fiancee accordingly. Well, I've never been in your shoes and don't pray to be, I don't even know how to advise you
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Abi o, let him change now before you enter or else you would be blamed. As a matter of fact post pone that wedding, let him have enough time to cut them off
DeleteYou have spoken well Larry.
DeleteTo me don't tell him now but when you are fully in the family then you can tell him to stop but are you sure there is something you are not understanding, are you sure if they are financially capable? Just watch carefully o.trade carefully
ReplyDeleteSay WHAT? she better work on it now before anything otherwise she will have herself to blame!
DeleteThis is a disaster waiting to happen. Older brother living with him too. No bueno. Me I can't.
DeleteI hate marriage or relationship with too many financial baggages
ReplyDeleteHian!!
It gives headacheandstress......Me on the other hand I hate anything stress! Just marry to a man that is financially over comfortable if u hate stress like me
DeleteMnf
DeleteBiko do you still have an extra "financially over comfortable man" to spare? I need one in my life😂
Thanks a lot ma as I await ur positive response
#hustlekantunleleyi#
Ibikun I have. But he's IGBO
DeleteMe I want o but I'm Yoruba, if he doesn't mind 😬😬😬
DeleteSmart I want o and am Igbo pls...
DeleteOle! What will happen to the present and side boos? Matt, Jude, and chike. Ugly gold diggers!
DeleteI dey find who will use me and do advert like fashion, or so anyone I need money
ReplyDeleteU just want to work for peanuts
DeleteContact modelling agencies online
DeleteYou be model?
DeleteYou nor fine reach. You too ugly
DeleteIf our fiance don't wanna have sense n be wise,thas he's cup of tea. he'll end up with nothing and those he has been helping will ask 'what have you been doing with your money'? He should help his pple but be wise about it, hopefully he'll be. U can take a horse to d river,but u can't force it to drink.
ReplyDeleteHoney you are so right... I experience something similar but mine is worse as if the family jazzed him no to better he's own life by making investments.. I warned him on several occasions but won't listen he would say I hate he's family.. But all my warning came to be, he got broke and he's family started to ask what he used he's money for..he was know opportuned to see their true color. Thank goodness I never married him because I knew something like this would happen sooner or later so I was watching if he's going to change... But he didn't.
DeleteIf your boyfriend has solid investments fine good for him. And those he's siblings that working shouldn't be dependent on him at alll and if those siblings are also well to do they should assist in the upkeep of the younger sisters he's sending to school. Talk to him if you really want to spend your life with him if not...
Lol@ our fiance
Delete*your.
DeleteHahahahahahaha
My hands r clean o! Dt mind my phone.
Hahahah
Poster,if your man can listen to you,advise him to cut down on the expenses nah...
ReplyDeleteGod forbid but if anything bad should happen,none of those sisters and brothers of his will look his side!...
He should tell them he is getting married and he need to save for his unborn children!...
Raising kids these days is not beans oh!..
School fees and feeding no be moi moi!!...
How many investments does he have btw?...
Biko Start taxing him wella so he won't have excesses to give out!...
He should be taking care of his parents only!,..
Others should face front!...
Poster take this advice... No need to type again
DeleteRaising kids these days is not beans oh!..
DeleteSchool fees and feeding no be moi moi!!...
How many investments does he have btw?
These are some of the things that makes me run from guys like this poster bf then...... I no need stress I go just carry my bag run unto the next available guy😂😂😂😂😂😂
My thoughts exactly! He focus on his parents and leave the rest to fend for themselves abi they escort each other come world
Delete*should
DeleteAs in ee, no be small face front... They just want to finish d guys money nd leave him with nothing... Poster u need to seriously talk sense into him abeg
Delete1000 likes.
DeleteThere is ️wisdom here poster☝️👍
DeleteI like the fact that Queen didn't say stop the expenses. Just "cut" it abit. Remember givers never lack so make sure U don't make him to stop looking his parents way. Oyedepo doesn't ever forget to tell U that one of the secrets of financial success is giving to Ur parents. So he shouldn't stop spending on them but as queen said, he should just cut down abit for d sake of yalls future n kids unborn.
Poster Pls follow dis advice
DeleteIsaacson what kind of a man are u? U have never had an opinion on ur own, always agreeing wit other people's comment, u obviously have a degree in asslicking tueh, ur type go sabi fuck so?
DeleteThis makes sense.
DeleteLeave Isaacson osiso!
DeleteMust he reason or type like you?
You people have picked another prey abi?
He should give to his parent as long as he can afford it. But he should reduce or stop giving his siblings unnecessary thing.
ReplyDeleteExactly.
DeleteMy dear wait till after the wedding because these ppl can make things difficult for you. Get wedding out the way.
When you become his wife sit him down in a loving way and let him know you are scared for the future.
A man ought to have savings especially when marriage and kids start coming in. What if God forbid he even looses his job. No savings to fall back on. Because his family won't allow.
Let him keep giving his parents monthly upkeep.
Let him pay his sisters school fees. But all others must stop.
He now has a home he needs to run and save for kids comings.
Poster, are you sure you can cope being married into that family?
ReplyDeleteYour boo has been a father Christmas to his siblings for so long and if he suddenly stops now, there is gonna be a whole lot of heat.
Nevertheless, if you both know you can withstand the heat, then let him stop spoiling them and allow them fend for themselves....excluding the sister who is in school of course.
Its gonna be tough, so be prepared.
Inukwa saving money for SUV...mtchew
Well you should chill till ur married to him proper then you can insist that the only money he can part with his the money he gives to his parents and paying of his sisters fee'so. As for the rest of them they are old enough to take care of themselves
ReplyDeleteAnd you are just a fiancee,not a wife yet. Mtchewww. See complain everywhere. Be there complaining up and down,looking for who is eating up your fiance until another compassionate lady comes in. So he shouldn't send money to his parents? Or cater for his younger ones if he can? You are just a wicked person that sent in a one sided chronicle.
ReplyDeleteOmasiri you are a BIG Fool!so all of the expenses she listed that her fiance is saddled with has automatically made her a devil!Oponu! When you work hard for your money, give all of it to your family and begin to eat leaves! Ode!Just abuse me and watch Ayilala finish you!
DeleteOmasiri pls Hw old are u? U are always sounding very dumb, childish and stupid, biko it's not by force to comment, if u don't have anything to contribute pls read and shut the hell up, u are beginning to piss me off wit dis ur constant display of stupidity, u are obviously a very bitter person, u need a good fuck in ur boring life.
DeleteAnd no I don't have an ID but I will soon create one because of u, I just have a phobia for senseless people, tueh
Madam calm down, go read the chronicle again shogbo. Poster complained about fiance's older sibling n even her husband making demands too. That's just taking it too far in my opinion. It would have been a relatively reasonable situation if they were in dire need, but imagine someone who have enough to save for SUV still tasking his young in law. Na wa o
DeleteThis is this man before you married him; he is not complaining.
ReplyDeleteSit him down and tell him your observations and fears; especially when you have kids and responsibilities increase.
You've got to work it out before marriage; else you will be going into marriage to create enemies of which your husband will be one of them.
The possible way forward is to increase "family savings" while he tells his relatives that he will settle the very dire needs; food and clothing and accommodation for parents and not "luxuries".
Have you thought about if your husband loses his job; why don't you aim to work well to earn well and be a beacon for your kids and husband in case?
Please do not start your matrimony in enmity!
WHAT OF IF HUSBAND/FIANCE LOSES HIS JOB:
ReplyDelete“I want him all to myself”. Have counseled a lot of ladies who begin with this line once the topic is “marriage”. The thing is; “will he have you all to himself”? He probably married you when you were in school; helped to train you and even your sibs. But the moment he gets laid off, you jump to the bed of another “piece of penis” and “vain peanuts” you call money. Someone who has been professing love to her husband and for whom he just bought a piece of costly property has misbehaved the very day he brought his sack letter from his position as a top bank executive. Her reason; “can’t marry a jobless man”. We ladies should be careful for the wicked receive their due reward even here on earth. Ladies, please ask yourself the second question above; the man I am telling I love, am I deceiving him and myself. Will the wedding go on if he is sacked today?
Another young man who is an executive in an oil firm and about to get married also did a most remarkable thing. He printed out a sack letter and filled his name and cried home, called and showed his fresh graduate fiancee, the lady wept but said that wedding date remains. They will be wedding next month. The thing is that the guy had even gotten posted to the European headquarters of the company.
What is this one saying?😒😒😒
Delete
ReplyDeleteHas anyone gone through this before, how did u handle it?
Yaah I have bn through this with my ex the stress from his family to him was too much ,I got no choice than to call it quit because I dont want to be the reason their family tear apart and he was so comfortable with it! Me on the other hand I dont joke with anything FAMILY or anyone who genuinely needs help and his home pay can't sustain our life style then..... Today I am married to a man who dont joke with his family including mine and I am comfortable with it cause I lack nothing and he got all it takes not to question how he uses his money, Things keeps getting better! If u can't cope now better leave or stay in .....
IF YOU DON'T BUILD TRUST, YOUR HUSBAND WILL MISUNDERSTAND YOU
ReplyDeleteAnd make sure you don't appear to divert finances to your dad's family:
When one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!
A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.
Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)
This your epistle is old na. You've written it here over and over again. Please give it a rest. A ti gbo
DeleteAre you being followed okwaya?
DeleteHmm! Your husband has started what he wont finish o. Anyway lets say maybe because they think he is not married yet and feel he has nothing much to spend on.
ReplyDeleteDear writer wait till after you are married in,if it continues then you need to talk to him about it. i think they will stop all demands when he is married. Until then, always put it in your prayers.
Can you imagine budgeting money for expensive SUV and asking ur younger in-law for rent . I find that hard to believe
ReplyDeleteThe story sounds odd true..
DeleteI tire.
DeleteSo your fiancee doesn't know How to drive expensive SUV.
I find that part hard to believe.
How can an inlaw ask for his rent money to be paid by an inlaw?
I'm sure dangote sef doesn't pay his in-laws rent.
What sort of shameless man is that.
Trust me, it is soo true. I am the poster. The man (sis in law's husband)is just a unique being who doesn't think before acting and they don't have kids yet.
DeleteYou have every right as his fiancée to advice him..u both are altar bound..it's very important to save for the raining days..tell him to be prudent, his major responsibility is the parent, for the sibling he should do d little he can and not go out of his way just to please them..it's high time they realize he's got his own life too!
ReplyDeleteMadam the same thing hapund to me,, na heavy taxing by me bring am back esp wen i gave birth. I tripple d price of everytin and save d money i got from it in an account uknown to him. Dont tell him directly or it will backfire but use ur womanly wit. As for d wedding, start now to sing how broke ur pipo are to his ears ooooo
ReplyDeleteI believe he will come arnd wen children start coming and he sees reason to start investing big time. No extra money to dash den.
I no know wetin I read.
ReplyDeleteLol.
DeleteThe story dey give me running stomach.
Hello bvs.what time should I send in my chronicle to stella.?I need the right email also.thank you
ReplyDeleteSdimokokorkus@gmail.com...
DeleteSend it now!!...
I mean this minute...
Poster pray and fast before advising him about his unnecessary expenditures
ReplyDeleteI asked you to pray and fast no be joke oh. Bcos once he stop giving them money after he marries you those awoof choppers will know you're responsible and they will come for both physical and spiritual attack. But if you've prayed and prepare ahead of the battle believe me its will be back to sender when the time comes if not na OYO be your case.
Nothing is ordinary in life. He might be under their spiritual manipulation to always yield to their instructions.
I just hate u I don't why, mumu
DeleteHe should cut down, her sister and hubby are insenstive you want to buy suv, i'm sure your guy's car might not be up to the one they want to buy.
ReplyDeleteFor where, his own car is like half of the price his in-law budgeted for the SUV.
DeleteThe only people he should be giving money are his parents and younger sister.
ReplyDeleteThe most annoying part is the elder sister and his husband.
Babe, you better stop him now before you marry. Marriage is another different game.
Hmmm Dear Poster I dont want to join the bandwagon of ''is he jazzed'' but it's shocking that he allowed himself to be controlled by greedy, selfish people he calls siblings..Its good to give but when you allow people to take advantage of you shows how weak he is..He has to 'man up and grow up as well''..The Idiot that is working in multinational company or Palm Kernel and Palm Oil and Gas is descending so low to ask him money to save his own money for SUV..What a shame..You better tell your man that ''his mumu don do cause he is about to start a family''..A reserviour that fails to save water during dry season will be considered useless no matter how long it has giving water to people around it when all was rosy...He should only give daddy and mummy money only...Shine your eyes very well, poster...
ReplyDeletePoster, you have to start speaking up now cos if you wait till you are married, they will say you have changed and you don't want their brother to help them.
ReplyDeleteUse wisdom and speak to him about it and how he should start cutting the irrelevant expenses out. They are adults and should take care of themselves except his parents.
My sister advise Him now o before you get into the marriage, you should always deal with issues as much as you can before he becomes your husband....
ReplyDeleteThe question people will ask you when you start complaining in future is " did you not see this before getting married to him"??
As long as he gives you money to do the needful,dont bother yourself.
ReplyDeleteYou will only have a problem if he doesn't give you anything or much. When you marry, so long as he is forthcoming with family responsiblities,biko leave him alone.
Doppel Boo...i knw you will get on ere. me love yu long time
ReplyDeleteLol, make them face front, Queen just said it all.
ReplyDeletethat's how one guy i used to date was still living with his parents at 39yrs, i told him to move out of his family huz and he said he can't be paying double rent. He takes care of his parents and siblings both married and unmarried. Now the married sister's husband has joined this guy in his shop and be taxing him everyday. To think his mum practically called me to leave her son for her n he will never marry me, that ever since the son met me he nolonger takes care of her & the family, doesn't give account of his shop to her again. I jejely left her family biko.
ReplyDeleteI experienced same while in courtship with my husband then but I never see anything bad about it until after I had my first child, 3 bills still coming, one from the parent which is normal,2nd from either sister and her 2 kids and unmarried elder brother who kicked against our marriage.. that we are too young to get married, my husband was already 33 then with good pay. After my baby naming .. his elder sister started with the clothes i wore that my husband must buy her own and mama too, all the things she brought for omugho did not enter our house, she shared them within her friends in Lagos.. that is when my eyes 👀 opened. She don't bath for baby rather she will complain that baby nose is not pointed and at 2weeks i should be giving baby water to drink and all of that. After 3 weeks of her staying she brought lists of things she want for herself and children, apart from the wrappers my husband has brought... i called my husband to back and told him never to give her any money more than transportation.. which my husband did. A month after she left she started with children school fees and immediately i told husband to tell her his mind that her own husband should be paying for their children school fees and buy xmas clothes for them too.. come and see her carrying my name here and there oo, that Am an evil lady that i have poisoned my husband mind against them , ThankGod her husband who reasoned well with us and told her to reduce her love for gold and fashion. And the elder just cut off debt from my husband when somebody gave him gifts for baby and wrapper to me.. he didnot give to us until after 7 months when we found out!
ReplyDeleteBaby's nose isn't pointed? Hian. Weitn person no go read😂
DeleteYour fiance and that female poster that once sent s chronicle about being nice to a fault and even to the detrimemt of her business.... remember? Theyre missing twins!! Go and look for that particular chronicle and read the advice i gave to that poster. I don see this type of 'generousity' for my papa house. E no dey pay. Yes, its good to help but not to the detriment of your comfort. Because when tables are turned, 85% of those you helped wont remember you. I have worn those shoes and i can write a 2000 page book on it. Speak up before its too late. Let them call u wicked now tommorow he will thank you for it. Your children would thank you for it. Your old age will thank you for it. Your bank account will thank you for it. Let him support his parents, because God commands so. As for his sisters, let them know that his support is temporary so they should get on their feet asap. And his elder sis, please let him tell her hes broke and things are hard. Once his younger ones are done with school, reduce support and let them find their path. From time to time help them. But they should not in ANY way feel entitled to his money. God has placed you in his life for a reason so uae your position to assist him. Put your foot down.
ReplyDeleteYour fiance and that female poster that once sent s chronicle about being nice to a fault and even to the detrimemt of her business.... remember? Theyre missing twins!! Go and look for that particular chronicle and read the advice i gave to that poster. I don see this type of 'generousity' for my papa house. E no dey pay. Yes, its good to help but not to the detriment of your comfort. Because when tables are turned, 85% of those you helped wont remember you. I have worn those shoes and i can write a 2000 page book on it. Speak up before its too late. Let them call u wicked now tommorow he will thank you for it. Your children would thank you for it. Your old age will thank you for it. Your bank account will thank you for it. Let him support his parents, because God commands so. As for his sisters, let them know that his support is temporary so they should get on their feet asap. And his elder sis, please let him tell her hes broke and things are hard. Once his younger ones are done with school, reduce support and let them find their path. From time to time help them. But they should not in ANY way feel entitled to his money. God has placed you in his life for a reason so uae your position to assist him. Put your foot down.
ReplyDeleteHe needs to stop now! Both of you should sit down and talk about what he needs to be doing for the family and what needs to stop. Let him tell them he's preparing for his wedding and doesn't have money. Address this issue before you marry him, be sure he adheres to what you guys decide. He is not Jesus the provider of the world. Marriage is costly and no matter when he stops giving them, they will complain and fight, so it should stop now before you get married.
ReplyDeleteNow let me give you advise as someone who has been there before. Tell your fiancé to stop shouldering the whole family responsibility now before you get married otherwise they will give you serious problem when you eventually do. He needs to put his foot down and make his Senoir ones contribute too. They should probably share it based on their income. Maybe he is the kindest and most caring of them all and his Siblings are taking advantage of that.
ReplyDeletePoster this was why I ran from my ex. He was the breadwinner and gives to a fault. It was an endearing quality (the giving). He was always ready to go hungry to fend for his parents, siblings, friends you name it. The mum didn't want him to marry because she was scared he'd stop giving them. This was a guy that was still coming up but the burden never let him grow. I saw danger and took a walk.
ReplyDeleteLast I heard he sold the last of his properties to pay his parents house rent and his brother's gambling debt.
Poster if your boo will listen to you then you should be prepared because they will come for you but if not then take a walk.
#A friend is someone who can see the truth and pain in you even when you are fooling everyone else*
ReplyDeleteSent him this link to read cos if u talk to him he won't understand , but he will understand after reading from different peeps
ReplyDeleteThanks y'all for your contributions, I have learnt a whole lot from them. God bless y'all.
ReplyDeleteNo, you are not over-reacting. The demands will not stop,because,those people have entitlement mentality! The onus falls on him to refuse when asked, if not, na you go carry the load for house, while he will be doing father Xmas outside! His only obligation is to his parents. The rest na jara!
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, you can curb it gradually, not immediately,because it might boomerang on you. Convince him to invest into real estate and be asking a lot of money from him for housekeeping and be saving the rest. When the kids start coming and the expenses increase, he will know how far, nobody go tell am!
Best of luck.
No, you are not over-reacting. The demands will not stop,because,those people have entitlement mentality! The onus falls on him to refuse when asked, if not, na you go carry the load for house, while he will be doing father Xmas outside! His only obligation is to his parents. The rest na jara!
ReplyDeleteNevertheless, you can curb it gradually, not immediately,because it might boomerang on you. Convince him to invest into real estate and be asking a lot of money from him for housekeeping and be saving the rest. When the kids start coming and the expenses increase, he will know how far, nobody go tell am!
Best of luck.
Babe you need to handle this matter with care. Your Boo grew up with the mentality that he has to take care of his family, and you can't take that away from him easily. Talk to him in the way you know he will listen, he needs to cut down on his expenses and invest for himself and his family (that would be you and future kids). These days it's every man and his head so he needs to know what he is doing and do it wisely. If things become rough for him nau, don't be surprised he will have nowhere to turn to, it is Yoruba that says that whatever the world turn you to is what they will use to abuse you. God will not let his pocket run dry.
ReplyDelete