We are trying something else today.....You must understand that it is not easy trying to think up new posts,so please support the hustle...
Today we are looking for funniest comments ever posted by a blog visitor here...something that cracked you up and you can still remember or copy and paste. .....Of cos there will be something to giveaway...I got distracted this week to announce a winner but again no be by force na. LOL
The funniest comment I've read here is the bv who wrote that she woke her uncle up to urinate thinking it was her younger brother because of his shortness
The comment that "kelt" me recently is from FAKE QUEEN AND BOSS. Her comment on the Quintuplets post. She said "this is what I call HOLY ANGER FUCK. The guy poured all his frustrations in the lady". I laughed really hard that day and I still do whenever I remember. Babes I Hail o...
On anon night ppst, think d 1st or second when an anon said shes sleeping with a catholic priest n spelt it wrongly, someone responded "anon well done, keep fucking something u cant spell" LMAO. cnt forget that comment in a hurry.
The comment I will never forget is that of the bv whose short uncle visited and she carried him to the toilet in the night thinking he was her younger brother...๐จ๐จ๐จ๐๐๐๐
LOL! Ermmm, cant place ma hand on any particular comment now o! So many bvs comments cracks the hell outta ma ribs on a daily basis here is all I know. Beyonce hands for una๐๐๐
The one that got me roflol was when Ola wealth told queen and boss dt he just left Germany and he should meet her at d airport and a bv said she will come but with PIGEON.
During the first most embarrassing moment. A lady said she tried farting while making out with her then bf now hubby but na shit come out. I still laugh when I think about it.
Another memorable post was on WNB. A badt guy wanted to dis virgin his wife on the wedding night and used anointing oil "The annointing breaketh every yoke"๐
The comment that played in my head and also cracked me up so much is Chi Exotic's comment about her ex waiting for her while she had some goody bags with her.
The use of the word "Osondu" when she ran away leaving the bag behind was what cracked me up. I just imagined her running away like a 6 years old child shouting "mummy o" ๐๐
Cyn, when I dropped that comment eh, I didn't even see the humour in it It was later when I saw Bvs cracking up in my replies that I read what I wrote and kinda relived the whole moment and I started laughing too
That comment was iconic. The run was a matter of life and death.
One koment by Beeeefeee Piss-Mecca laidat wehn WNB woss steal boilin hot.... Wer e sayed sumtin abuot putin his big lung fat sumtin incide a ledys tite sumtin an ride her to clowd 9...
Eye Kant reely put eat as e sayed eat but eat woss way so fonni to me.
Its fun though. Villager said one comment by BV peace maker like that when WNB was still boiling hot...we are saying something about putting his big long something inside a lady's tight something and ride her to cloud 9. Another Jennifa in the making.
This for me is the funniest comment yet, by our very own Kehinde Ake(I wonder where he is now... hmmm!) Anyway, he posted in a post "about most embarassing momements" I always go back to read whenever I wanna have a good laugh. Hope you likey? It was the first time I was confronted with a live pussy. Healthy one. It was winking at me with slightly parted, pinky inner lips. I fearfully touched as if it is a wound. Na so the vjay yawn , open mouth for me. Is it suppose to behave like this? So I rewarded my curiosity by asking
Me : " e dey pain you? " She: " why e go pain me? " Me:" As e be like sore, I think say e go pain you " She: (feigning anger, she covered her oputamia) "lekwe nsogbu o, make I cover my sore then". That was when it dawned on me that I could lose the opportunity if I don't stop showing stupid sympathy.
Me: " Anwili m, no vex, I no know say na so e dey be ".
I did the North-South-East-West sign n sank in with caution. It was warm, huggy and so .... Moments later, I felt a heat coursing through the soles of my feet. Convulsion don dey hold me. It felt like I wanted to pee. I tried to pull out. She held my butt cheeks and was dragging me in. We were struggling.
Me: " Piss dey catch me, piss dey catch me" She: "No be piss" Me: "Na you get my body? " She: "Oya piss put" Me: "I no dey piss inside house" ( village restrooms are usually build away from the main house) She: "Them dey piss for this kind house..."
That was when my water broke. It was the sweetest piss of my life as she had me buried in her 'house' Then she started laughing. Don't ask if she was way older than me.
My funniest comment ever was by Pealie. She made reference to those okada boys riding up and down looking for girls with their sperm smelling like fufu.I can't remember he exact words though .I miss some old BVs.
This reply by fake Queen and boss to a bv got me rotfl.. Bv; first to comment Fake Queen; last to get brain or sense Omg just CNT stop laughing. Then by Black berry; He fuck She fuck He beats her Don't I just luv u @bb?
It has to be Mrs D for me. She dropped a comment that Eucharia Anunobi's eyebrow was looking unto God, the Author and Finisher of her Faith. Hahahaha
I laughed hysterically that day eeh. I coughed for a whole minute and my Mum was around then, I showed her the post and she went like "ogii dรดr, the Mrs D ga abu Onye Anglican Anyi( the lady must be a Protestant), the text strikes a chord. She is comical". We laughed for long and I screenmunched it. So, yes. Mrs D.
Olivia silk too hammered a comment there. Click the link and read up. Bvs are bae!
I found this joke on the Internet, I don't know who is the author, but I find the joke funny. I copied and paste! If anyone knows who please kindly share!
Oya laugh small jare...lol. (not written by me...it's a joke) I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it. (The door lock is faulty) As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving... Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.
Policeman: (Shaking) Ah! You carry dog?
Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?
Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable) Na where una dey come from?
Me: From hospital.
Policeman: Ehen! you sick?
Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef.
Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now) Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?
Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.
Policeman: The dog know you?
Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?
Policeman: (Sweating) This your door, how you dey open am?
Me: How you take enter?
Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open. (The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).
Policeman: (Now sliding forward)Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.
Me: How much you go pay me?
Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only N1,000 dey wit me.
Me: You neva ready. (I looked back at the dog).
Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join. (Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really impatient) Oga, I be......g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!
Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed him out of the car)
Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog. Wicked man!!!
Ikwakwakwakwakawakwakwakwakwakwa This joke cracks me up anytime I see it. Miss Priya, thank God for not allowing those badt guys to hurt you, how are you today? Have a nice weekend. Rhoda Rex, how are you? You sef don dey follow us chop Stella's goodies abi? Na your luck. God bless you Stella for blessing our sweet Rhoda. Happy weekend to you and your beautiful family, sufri for that Aunty Jalabia stories wey dey post o. Ikwakwakwakwakwakwa.
@victorious yes oh..I cldnt comment or reply to posts all these while using opera mini, but just today I download uc browser it goes smooth without delay. Try uc browser me loving it die.
A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour. While returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much. One day she died. Her death brought him great sorrow. He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town. A man from behind called and said, now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you. He replied, I am not blind. I was acting, because if she knew l could see her ugliness it would have pained her more than her disease. So I pretended to be blind. She was a very good wife. I only wanted to keep her happy. Moral: Sometimes it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another's short comings, in order to be happy* *No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That's the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don't see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That's UNITY." May the Lord grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness*. 1. ''Alone I can 'Say' but together we can 'talk'. 2. "Alone I can 'Enjoy' but together we can celebrate 3. 'Alone I can 'Smile' but together we can 'Laugh'. *That's the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other* The razor blade is sharp but can't cut a tree; the axe is strong but can't cut the hair. ** Everyone is important according to his/her unique purpose,Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes copied
This is my gist but somehow painful We were gisting about something when one of the guy brought how a story of how a girl came and tell some persons how 5 guys sleep with her from 7 still 1 o clock I was like God forbid it can never happen to me We were only three person talking about that 1st guy: wouldn't you keep quiet you never jam guy S 2nd guys:collect a guy money and eat without giving them what they need you will hear Me: that's your own problem nobody can do that to me beside I don't eat people money Few minutes later the first guy left remaining I and the second guy We were still talking about the previous issues When a car stop in front of us he it was someone I know Me: hi Guy: how is you Me : good Guy:what are you doing outside Me: was here with some friends but I want to go and buy something now Guy: come in let me drop you off to were you want to buy the thing Me: don't worry I'm fine beside the place is not far from here Guy: don't worry just enter Me: I said I'm good Guy: come in Me: I turn to the guy that was with him inside the car and said talk to him that I don't need his help In my mind I was scare because one of the guy that we were gisting with said that innocent people suffer this too if they ask you out and you don't agree they can do harm to you. I left the guy with his friend to go and buy what I will eat he was still saying wait let me take you there I didn't answer I ask the guy that we were gisting with to accompany me the guy say no that he can't so as I was going I noticing someone following me I didn't might when I enter the woman compound that I wanted to buy something the place was kind of dark from my back a guy hold with his two hands on my breast Me trying to push the guy away I couldn't because the guy was too strong it was the guy that was driving he stop the car somewhere just to come and do that The guy said have been wanting you in my life you refuse I started shouting he left by telling me sorry for what happened I didn't meant to do that When I reach my compound I couldn't tell anyone up still now I'm still a virgin I have this pain of hate for guys that ask me to date them I can only be your friend if you don't ask me to date you I pray God forgive that guy I just wish to get over it
I have always known I feature in God's best laid plan, but sometimes I feel like I am not one of the clan. I find myself wandering if he is really there, but then I remember that if he is not, then I would not be here. I know for a fact that without God, man is nothing, but then I find myself wishing he will show me something. I always hear people say, "One with God is majority", but for quite some time, I have been feeling like one of the minority. I guess I just have to keep on believing, I know with time I will start receiving.
I wrote this at a time when it seemed all hope was lost and I titled it MY DOUBTS. l look back now and know things can really turn around for better. I am not where I want to be, not by a long shot, but I am definitely making progress. Whatever the situation, always remember, this too will pass. original
We had a dog in the house dat always gave birth to funny puppies cos of the dogs she mates with so one day my cousin and I saw one very ugly dog around then she started cussing our dog,she was like ;this dog Na just stupid ashawo dog she no dey follow better dog if to say u be person u for yeye ashawo 5kobo. I was just laughing, so later that day we saw our dog and the ugly one mating. She started raining curses on the dog again and insisted this time u will birth ugly puppies again in this house,she went and bought postinor and dissolved it in milk and gave the dog to wash dat ugly dogs sperm. We were just laughing like how will dat even work. Months dog was pregnant and my cousin kept threatening the dog that hope she slept some one better oh if not she will see wim in this house.
Months later I was told the dog gave birth after exams I came home only to see that puppies were just like that ugly dog we saw that day OMG. I laughed sooo hard I almost fell down.i called her and told her dat the family planning she did for the dog did not work ohh. She started cursing the dog again and said we better sell all the puppies plus their yeye ashawo mama before she reach house else she go carry go dash out. Last last we manage sell remain one. When she came everybody was expecting her reaction when she saw the dog. Each time the dog passes close to her she will be like :comot for here, yeye. Lool Like play that dog left home one day and never came back.everybody was on her dat she hated the dog and she couldn't take it and left.eventually the son she left behind died of old age. It's been ages but we still about it.
One of my funniest had to be Quickie 's comment on the link above about selecting rice from Garri. I can't stop laughing til this day and I screengrabbed for reference purposes whenever am having a bad day ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
OK,so this is my gist.when I was 16 in south Africa,my father gave me money for my fees.on the way,I and my buddy saw an advert for a lottery, the winner was to get a car in 3 days.It was awesome,so I used my school fees on it for me and my buddy.3 days later,they announced the winner,it wasn't me.I used up all the courage I had to report my self to my dad.he beat the shit out of me...more than I have ever been beaten all my life added up.the next day we woke up and there was a car parked outside our house.we all rushed outside, but oh no,it was the electricity people. They had come to cut us off,we hadn't paid the bills.my dad took me in and beat the hell out of me again. It was the worst two days of my life.now I think about the car parked outside and I'm like jeez
Biko Stella did you say people should start fabricating new stories to make themselves laugh? Abi I no read this post well sey na old comments? Na eh. This recession aburu kwa obele ife.
Ahaaa Stella Kork I forgot to add the midnight amebo. Linda Ikeji has said YES!!!!!!!!!!!! This is goodnews with a tingling feeling.
You must come for the Igbankwu inugo. Sweep everything under the carpet. Gbahara. Rapu okwu.
Can imagine the look on their Mum's face. #fulfilment That awesome moment I picked the phone and dialed "Mummy there's somebody o" and I was blushing. Then she went like "akokwana! Onye ebee? Ok ok you book a flight and come let's talk with Daddy unu". Hahahaha. I can only imagine.
Congrats Linda. Go make your Mama proud.
Next is Rita Dominic. I know you all are reading. Yes. All of us are SDK bvs. Forgerrit.
Remember a wedding i went to : It happens that the bride was dating one guy in a popular market in p.h but the guy hand never strong for money matters,but the girl's family are well to do, especially his brothers. There's this guy, his name is John (not real name),he is an opportunist. That is, he is always going for what will favor him, the type that won't spend money but likes to eat others. This guy (John) seeing that this guy from same market with him is dating the girl, decided to chuck head for their matter by going to ask for the girl's hand in marriage. That was where kasala burst for this girl. ๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข The girl is from Swansea, while the poor guy is from Imo State. Meanwhile John is Anambra . The family started insisting that the girl marries John and leave the other guy because they are very sure he can be able to feed her, but baby girl refused because she is in love. They begged her(odiegwu),the father, even the eldest brother that has soo much money, madam still refused (I'm really scared for her). After all said and done, john now found another victim...oops i mean a girl that the father has small change. You know, john is like this type of men that vows never to marry a student because they can't be spending money training someone's child in marriage, instead they marry someone that is working so that she can be bringing money to the house, SMH. John is now married, thank God. So it happens that my Imo guy man decided to go marry her baby girl. After the wedding, it was now time for the reception. Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The worst happened, that is something she can never forget in her life. The worst to happen to any woman. There's how this popular market people do in their colleagues wedding. When the bride and groom dances into the reception hall,the MC asks them to stand and call someone close to them to spray money on them before they can seat down. The husband called someone and the person sprayed him money till he walked to his seat and sat down. Time for the bride,Mooooooooogggggggggggbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Normally, money was supposed to rain supreme on the bride, as a girl she is nau but......the reverse was the case. Mc asked the bride to call someone!!!! She called the eldest brother, he refused to come out (Gbege!!!) He was sitting there jeje, hmm. Oya call another person, she called the second brother, gbege oooo, he refused to come out. Ok just call someone else, she called the eldest brother's wife, a woman for that matter, she didn't come out too o. People open mouth ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ You would think na Nolly movies o. Oga Mc come see say kole werk, he asked her to now go and sit down. Naim most people take style go their house. We come later hear say, they gave the groom Imillion naira check after the epic disgrace. I said SHAME on them. Medicine after death. That girl is wounded for life, tufia!!!!! Now the guy they were forcing her to marry don't even have shishi, very stingy thing, i think it's because he mostly wears plain trouser and shirt with.I know him ooooo
This is from pipi Lee, one of the most embarrassing moment post, I had to google it up, twas so funny. Here it goes:Just a fresh graduate, went for my usual short visit in my uncle's place, had to attend their church for a programme, a very big church and a theological institute too, so they have students pastors there. I'm a regular visitor cos I always go visit during short breaks /hols while schooling, so I wasn't really a new face in church. They know me and know my family (uncle's fam). That particular evening, was feeling so spiritual, every altar call I answered, until it got to the alter call for the fresh graduate's, I didn't know it was for students pastors only, I stood up and walked the long distance to the altar still in the spirit, the bishop was talking, dishing out advice pertaining to ministry works, that was odd, wetin concern university graduates and ministry work; then he said start talking to God about your ministry, the world you are about to enter, your mission to win souls for God, commune with the holy spirit, it is time to draw strenght from him, ghen ghen; then I opened my eyes and scanned my immediate surrounding, saw ladies and guys around me, all well dressed like evangelists and pastors, women, heads well covered, shirts below their knees, no makeup, no or simple earing, the blood of Jesus, I was wearing a bodycon dress, very long braids with a strip of cloth I just tied in a fancy way on my head, nails fix(not loud tho), makeup fairly on point, God of mercy, who did this to me, they were all speaking in tongues, some rolling on the floor, I was the odd one out, was just thinking, what exactly will church members be thinking, I look like the ogbanje sent to destroy their ministry right. Anyways, God gave me the courage to withstand the stares on the long walk down back to my seat. Of cos my uncle's wife and cousins could not hold back laughter and tears. All altar calls became suspicious from that day onward.
This is from pipi Lee, one of the most embarrassing moment post, I had to google it up, twas so funny. Here it goes:Just a fresh graduate, went for my usual short visit in my uncle's place, had to attend their church for a programme, a very big church and a theological institute too, so they have students pastors there. I'm a regular visitor cos I always go visit during short breaks /hols while schooling, so I wasn't really a new face in church. They know me and know my family (uncle's fam). That particular evening, was feeling so spiritual, every altar call I answered, until it got to the alter call for the fresh graduate's, I didn't know it was for students pastors only, I stood up and walked the long distance to the altar still in the spirit, the bishop was talking, dishing out advice pertaining to ministry works, that was odd, wetin concern university graduates and ministry work; then he said start talking to God about your ministry, the world you are about to enter, your mission to win souls for God, commune with the holy spirit, it is time to draw strenght from him, ghen ghen; then I opened my eyes and scanned my immediate surrounding, saw ladies and guys around me, all well dressed like evangelists and pastors, women, heads well covered, shirts below their knees, no makeup, no or simple earing, the blood of Jesus, I was wearing a bodycon dress, very long braids with a strip of cloth I just tied in a fancy way on my head, nails fix(not loud tho), makeup fairly on point, God of mercy, who did this to me, they were all speaking in tongues, some rolling on the floor, I was the odd one out, was just thinking, what exactly will church members be thinking, I look like the ogbanje sent to destroy their ministry right. Anyways, God gave me the courage to withstand the stares on the long walk down back to my seat. Of cos my uncle's wife and cousins could not hold back laughter and tears. All altar calls became suspicious from that day onward.
Isaacson!!! I remember that comment, it was so funny I took a screenshot. It said, "The most embarrassing moment was when my short uncle visited us. So at night, due to his shortness my sister carried him to urinate thinking he's my junior brother. The next morning he left with anger. Up till today we haven't seen him again." I can't deal. Lmao.
*BREAKING NEWS !!!* lagos/ibadan expressway will be closed down as from 29th April 2017 to 3rd may. Kindly inform all your Contacts, Students, Corpers, and Motorists to take alternative Routes... *Reason: bcos I will be learning how to drive a trailer.* If u lyk vex, e no concern me.........
My neigbour was sick and invited a native doctor warned him and he told me that he can't. I pleaded with him and begged him to wait for Gods time but he refused (I leave am nah) he went inside his house with the native doctor, after the native doctor finised doing his inchantment, he told my neigbour that the sickness is incurable but can be transferred to another person and my neigbour greedily agreed, the native doctor then told my neigbour that the first person that will enter his house he should shout "taarh" and the sickness will transfer to the person and the person will die, my neigboured agreed and the native doctor left in a hurry forgetting to collect his money for the service he had offered. My neigbour sat down in his parlour and kept his door opened waiting for the first victim that will pass through that door. The native doctor then remembered that he forgot to collect his money and decided to go back and collect it. Immediately the native doctor entered my neigbour shouted "taarh" and the native doctor shouted "retaarh" and my neigbour shouted again "reretaaarh" the native doctor replied "rereretaaaarh". This noice started since morning and up till now they are both shouting "rererererereretaaaaaaaaarrrhhhh"
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐now this is really funny. Dem still de there Comrade? Still at it?๐๐๐๐๐today na today. ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐now this is really funny๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. Dem still de there Comrade? Still at it? Today na today. Who wan die?๐๐๐๐๐
I remember a comment made by TGW. Where her kids were singing children of God will u shout hallelujah. And one of the kids says shout hallelujah for 100 times. I laughed so much that day. It been long though.
This for me is the funniest comment yet, by our very own Kehinde Ake(I wonder where he is now... hmmm!) Anyway, he posted in a post "about most embarassing momements" I always go back to read whenever I wanna have a good laugh. Hope you likey? It was the first time I was confronted with a live pussy. Healthy one. It was winking at me with slightly parted, pinky inner lips. I fearfully touched as if it is a wound. Na so the vjay yawn , open mouth for me. Is it suppose to behave like this? So I rewarded my curiosity by asking
Me : " e dey pain you? " She: " why e go pain me? " Me:" As e be like sore, I think say e go pain you " She: (feigning anger, she covered her oputamia) "lekwe nsogbu o, make I cover my sore then". That was when it dawned on me that I could lose the opportunity if I don't stop showing stupid sympathy.
Me: " Anwili m, no vex, I no know say na so e dey be ".
I did the North-South-East-West sign n sank in with caution. It was warm, huggy and so .... Moments later, I felt a heat coursing through the soles of my feet. Convulsion don dey hold me. It felt like I wanted to pee. I tried to pull out. She held my butt cheeks and was dragging me in. We were struggling.
Me: " Piss dey catch me, piss dey catch me" She: "No be piss" Me: "Na you get my body? " She: "Oya piss put" Me: "I no dey piss inside house" ( village restrooms are usually build away from the main house) She: "Them dey piss for this kind house..."
That was when my water broke. It was the sweetest piss of my life as she had me buried in her 'house' Then she started laughing. Don't ask if she was way older than me.
It was this lady that was using an escalator for the first time. She was on a date with a guy she just met as they were going down the escalator she tripped and fell and the ice cream she was licking was all over her hair.
Veะณั nice post. I just stumbled uฯon your blog and wanted to mention that I've truly enjoyed browsing าฏoีฝr blog posts. ำn any case ฮ wilⅼ be subscribing foะณ your feed and I'm hoping you แดกrite ษgain ve๏ฝy soึ n!
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*spreads dollar crested rug*
ReplyDelete.bring it on guys
Blackberry's comment on Mercy aigbe..
DeleteHe fuck
She fuck
He beat her
Hahahhaha..
The funniest comment I've read here is the bv who wrote that she woke her uncle up to urinate thinking it was her younger brother because of his shortness
DeleteGosh I laugh anytime I remember it
The comment that "kelt" me recently is from FAKE QUEEN AND BOSS. Her comment on the Quintuplets post. She said "this is what I call HOLY ANGER FUCK. The guy poured all his frustrations in the lady". I laughed really hard that day and I still do whenever I remember. Babes I Hail o...
DeleteOn anon night ppst, think d 1st or second when an anon said shes sleeping with a catholic priest n spelt it wrongly, someone responded "anon well done, keep fucking something u cant spell" LMAO. cnt forget that comment in a hurry.
DeleteAgeless mama aka m di na elu oooo
DeleteTessbaby.lol
The comment I will never forget is that of the bv whose short uncle visited and she carried him to the toilet in the night thinking he was her younger brother...๐จ๐จ๐จ๐๐๐๐
DeleteI still dey shame for the guy
Any anon that say keep doing something u can't spell is lafresh.
DeleteAnother one was from Xhlrted P. About her experience in VI. It was really funny because I was there that day. Something about a fire drill.
DeleteYou all remember how I always make you laugh with original or copied jokes and gist every time abi
ReplyDeleteOya start thinking of the funny ones and laughing so I can win lol
The best to me that bvs loved very much was about that short uncle my sister thought was my kid bro. ๐๐๐๐๐
My dear that your joke na legend na...I heard it was even featured on instablog
Delete๐๐๐
You dey try sha
DeleteLOL! Ermmm, cant place ma hand on any particular comment now o! So many bvs comments cracks the hell outta ma ribs on a daily basis here is all I know. Beyonce hands for una๐๐๐
DeleteI think it was your short uncle or something....cant remember the exact joke
DeleteThat your uncle Jist cracked me up real time, I laughed and the tears flowed, lol.
DeleteIsaacson aw about ur short uncle?????? Has he come back???? I still have the screen shot of that story on my phone. I laughed like an idiot.
DeleteAh! That short uncle๐ข
DeleteIsaacson you're getting it all wrong. Post says "funniest comment" not funniest joke. Recall a comment by you and we will vote for you. Ok? E-hugs
DeleteThanks @ fab mum: u r d best. I can now view pishures on my uc browser ๐
ReplyDeletePls Slim Shady I'm interested. I can't view pics using my uc browser
DeleteYou are welcome
DeleteThe one that got me roflol was when Ola wealth told queen and boss dt he just left Germany and he should meet her at d airport and a bv said she will come but with PIGEON.
DeleteDuring the first most embarrassing moment. A lady said she tried farting while making out with her then bf now hubby but na shit come out. I still laugh when I think about it.
ReplyDeleteAnother memorable post was on WNB. A badt guy wanted to dis virgin his wife on the wedding night and used anointing oil "The annointing breaketh every yoke"๐
DeleteThe comment that played in my head and also cracked me up so much is Chi Exotic's comment about her ex waiting for her while she had some goody bags with her.
ReplyDeleteThe use of the word "Osondu" when she ran away leaving the bag behind was what cracked me up. I just imagined her running away like a 6 years old child shouting "mummy o" ๐๐
Anty mi o
DeleteOh gawd wetin I want to copy buh the network no gree me shine
I no gree o
Hahahahahhahhaaha.
DeleteI read that comment albeit late and laughed my ribs off๐๐๐
Cyn, when I dropped that comment eh, I didn't even see the humour in it
DeleteIt was later when I saw Bvs cracking up in my replies that I read what I wrote and kinda relived the whole moment and I started laughing too
That comment was iconic.
The run was a matter of life and death.
LMAO........ One of my best comment so far. I laughed like idiot that day. It was so crazy.
DeleteThe way she dumped the goodie bags and ran into the night got me in stiches๐คฃ๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteOne koment by Beeeefeee Piss-Mecca laidat wehn WNB woss steal boilin hot.... Wer e sayed sumtin abuot putin his big lung fat sumtin incide a ledys tite sumtin an ride her to clowd 9...
ReplyDeleteEye Kant reely put eat as e sayed eat but eat woss way so fonni to me.
Villager Biko pack and come back to city o. These your village English is a causer of headache
DeletePls change. It hurts.
DeleteIts fun though. Villager said one comment by BV peace maker like that when WNB was still boiling hot...we are saying something about putting his big long something inside a lady's tight something and ride her to cloud 9. Another Jennifa in the making.
Deleteabeg this your English dey make my phone to switch off by itself. pls stop it biko.
DeleteThis will be interesting.๐๐๐
ReplyDeleteThis for me is the funniest comment yet, by our very own Kehinde Ake(I wonder where he is now... hmmm!) Anyway, he posted in a post "about most embarassing momements" I always go back to read whenever I wanna have a good laugh. Hope you likey?
DeleteIt was the first time I was confronted with a live pussy. Healthy one. It was winking at me with slightly parted, pinky inner lips. I fearfully touched as if it is a wound. Na so the vjay yawn , open mouth for me. Is it suppose to behave like this? So I rewarded my curiosity by asking
Me : " e dey pain you? "
She: " why e go pain me? "
Me:" As e be like sore, I think say e go pain you "
She: (feigning anger, she covered her oputamia) "lekwe nsogbu o, make I cover my sore then".
That was when it dawned on me that I could lose the opportunity if I don't stop showing stupid sympathy.
Me: " Anwili m, no vex, I no know say na so e dey be ".
I did the North-South-East-West sign n sank in with caution. It was warm, huggy and so .... Moments later, I felt a heat coursing through the soles of my feet. Convulsion don dey hold me. It felt like I wanted to pee. I tried to pull out. She held my butt cheeks and was dragging me in. We were struggling.
Me: " Piss dey catch me, piss dey catch me"
She: "No be piss"
Me: "Na you get my body? "
She: "Oya piss put"
Me: "I no dey piss inside house" ( village restrooms are usually build away from the main house)
She: "Them dey piss for this kind house..."
That was when my water broke. It was the sweetest piss of my life as she had me buried in her 'house' Then she started laughing. Don't ask if she was way older than me.
That fake queen and boss's comments always make me laff like crazy.
ReplyDeleteThe person behind that moniker is a first class clown. Chai.
I agree๐๐๐
DeleteWeyrey somebody
I read one she dropped under me last week or so... I just collapsed in laughter.
DeleteSomething about Iphie Ukwu sugar๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ
I should have saved that comment.
My funniest comment ever was by Pealie. She made reference to those okada boys riding up and down looking for girls with their sperm smelling like fufu.I can't remember he exact words though .I miss some old BVs.
ReplyDeleteSperm smelling like fufu.... hahahahahahahahha
DeleteThis reply by fake Queen and boss to a bv got me rotfl..
ReplyDeleteBv; first to comment
Fake Queen; last to get brain or sense
Omg just CNT stop laughing.
Then by Black berry;
He fuck
She fuck
He beats her
Don't I just luv u @bb?
Lol
DeleteBb na epic summarizer
It has to be Mrs D for me. She dropped a comment that Eucharia Anunobi's eyebrow was looking unto God, the Author and Finisher of her Faith. Hahahaha
ReplyDeleteI laughed hysterically that day eeh. I coughed for a whole minute and my Mum was around then, I showed her the post and she went like "ogii dรดr, the Mrs D ga abu Onye Anglican Anyi( the lady must be a Protestant), the text strikes a chord. She is comical".
We laughed for long and I screenmunched it. So, yes. Mrs D.
Olivia silk too hammered a comment there. Click the link and read up.
Bvs are bae!
http://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2014/12/evangelist-eucharia-anunobis-new-photos.
Xp...hi ma'am .
DeleteMrsD..where art thou?
Lol
DeleteLooking up to God...this one haff enter my brain
Tomorrow is Sunday
'Ogii dor' that's my dialect.
DeleteAhahahhahaha, this one got me, eyebrow looking unto God.....
DeleteShaki...we cool. How's your little omodada? Please find Mrs D she disappeared. Kikiki.
DeleteBeloved...Na so. Te Diem things.
Best amongst...are you serious? So which of the O are you?
Onitsha
Obosi
Ogbaru
All of the above.
Becky...click that link and laugh away your sorrow
Packing to laff in Swahili..high on Senegal jollof rice
ReplyDeleteWhat's up my people
ReplyDeleteElastic oya o come and make me proud. ...ou gat this na
I found this joke on the Internet, I don't know who is the author, but I find the joke funny. I copied and paste! If anyone knows who please kindly share!
ReplyDeleteOya laugh small jare...lol. (not written by me...it's a joke)
I was driving down a street along Alausa, having just finished answering a call, when a policeman, suddenly, opened the passenger door, entered and jam-locked it.
(The door lock is faulty)
As usual, he wanted 'something' from me for calling while driving...
Suddenly, he saw the big Rothweiller dog, Jackie, at the back seat of the car, with tongue stuck out, spittle dripping and fangs barring, staring fiercely at him.
Policeman: (Shaking)
Ah! You carry dog?
Me: (I bone face) Yes, I carry dog. Dat one na offense?
Policeman: (Feeling uncomfortable)
Na where una dey come from?
Me: From hospital.
Policeman: Ehen! you sick?
Me: No, na person wey the dog bite we go see. The person almost die sef.
Policeman: (Terribly shaken by now)
Ehen! But why the dog dey shake head like that?
Me: Na so im dey do if e wan bite person.
Policeman: The dog know you?
Me: Yes nah, no be my dog?
Policeman: (Sweating)
This your door, how you dey open am?
Me: How you take enter?
Policeman: Abeg! Na since I dey try open am, but e no open.
(The dog was now getting impatient and gave a small growl, its tongue almost touching the policeman's left ear).
Policeman: (Now sliding forward)Oga, I take God beg you, open the door for me make I comot. I no go collect anythin from you.
Me: How much you go pay me?
Policeman: Ah! I neva hustle anythin since morning. Na only N1,000 dey wit me.
Me: You neva ready.
(I looked back at the dog).
Policeman: Ok ok ok ok ok, e reach N2,000. The oda N1,000 na my wife own, but I go give you join.
(Now, close to tears as the dog was becoming really impatient)
Oga, I be......g, Oga, sorry. Take the N2,000 make you open the door plssssssse!
Me: Oya, bring am. (I collected the N2,000 & allowed him out of the car)
Policeman: God punish you. Idiot, e no go ever better for you and your yeye dog. Wicked man!!!
Rotfl ๐๐
DeleteLmao
DeleteThis dog is bae biko. The author na clown join.lol
If I hear say I no get dozen of cute dogs in future ehn
Hahahahahahahaha, yeah...remember this.
DeleteIkwakwakwakwakawakwakwakwakwakwa
DeleteThis joke cracks me up anytime I see it.
Miss Priya, thank God for not allowing those badt guys to hurt you, how are you today? Have a nice weekend.
Rhoda Rex, how are you? You sef don dey follow us chop Stella's goodies abi? Na your luck. God bless you Stella for blessing our sweet Rhoda.
Happy weekend to you and your beautiful family, sufri for that Aunty Jalabia stories wey dey post o. Ikwakwakwakwakwakwa.
Shift make I join u with chinchin n coke
ReplyDeleteMake I go look for my sister's comment..she is the bomb.
ReplyDeleteWe must bring the prize home
So one cannot comment while using opera mini?
ReplyDeleteIt's ok,continue (in mama Peace's voice)
@victorious yes oh..I cldnt comment or reply to posts all these while using opera mini, but just today I download uc browser it goes smooth without delay. Try uc browser me loving it die.
DeleteI meant *just today*
DeleteNope,u cannot.
DeleteUC Browser ti take over!๐๐๐
DeleteKpele u go dey aii.
I'm just here to read comments
Kevin ooo
ReplyDeleteSo I went to borrow iron from my neighbor, they told me to use it in their house. I was able to iron 3shirts and 2 pants.
ReplyDeleteNow they came to borrow mob from me, just because i told them to use it in my house, they are now keeping malice with me.
Have i done anything wrong?
A man married a beautiful girl. He loved her very much. One day she developed a skin disease. Slowly she started to lose her beauty. It so happened that one day her husband left for a tour.
ReplyDeleteWhile returning he met with an accident and lost his eyesight. However their married life continued as usual. But as days passed she lost her beauty gradually. Blind husband did not know this and there was not any difference in their married life. He continued to love her and she also loved him very much.
One day she died. Her death brought him great sorrow.
He finished all her last rites and wanted to leave that town.
A man from behind called and said, now how will you be able to walk all alone? All these days your wife used to help you.
He replied, I am not blind. I was acting, because if she knew l could see her ugliness it would have pained her more than her disease. So I pretended to be blind. She was a very good wife. I only wanted to keep her happy.
Moral: Sometimes it is good for us to act blind and ignore one another's short comings, in order to be happy*
*No matter how many times the teeth bite the tongue, they still stay together in one mouth. That's the spirit of FORGIVENESS. Even though the eyes don't see each other, they see things together, blink simultaneously and cry together. That's UNITY." May the Lord grant us all the spirit of forgiveness and togetherness*.
1. ''Alone I can 'Say' but together we can 'talk'.
2. "Alone I can 'Enjoy' but together we can celebrate
3. 'Alone I can 'Smile' but together we can 'Laugh'.
*That's the BEAUTY of Human Relations. We are nothing without each other*
The razor blade is sharp but can't cut a tree; the axe is strong but can't cut the hair.
**
Everyone is important according to his/her unique purpose,Never look down on anyone unless you are admiring their shoes
copied
Wowooooooooooooo
DeleteOluwaDarasimi
God bless you
Speechless but yet profound.
Deletechoice the man na good actor, make he go join Hollywood.
DeleteThis is my gist but somehow painful
ReplyDeleteWe were gisting about something when one of the guy brought how a story of how a girl came and tell some persons how 5 guys sleep with her from 7 still 1 o clock I was like God forbid it can never happen to me
We were only three person talking about that
1st guy: wouldn't you keep quiet you never jam guy
S
2nd guys:collect a guy money and eat without giving them what they need you will hear
Me: that's your own problem nobody can do that to me beside I don't eat people money
Few minutes later the first guy left remaining I and the second guy
We were still talking about the previous issues
When a car stop in front of us he it was someone I know
Me: hi
Guy: how is you
Me : good
Guy:what are you doing outside
Me: was here with some friends but I want to go and buy something now
Guy: come in let me drop you off to were you want to buy the thing
Me: don't worry I'm fine beside the place is not far from here
Guy: don't worry just enter
Me: I said I'm good
Guy: come in
Me: I turn to the guy that was with him inside the car and said talk to him that I don't need his help
In my mind I was scare because one of the guy that we were gisting with said that innocent people suffer this too if they ask you out and you don't agree they can do harm to you.
I left the guy with his friend to go and buy what I will eat he was still saying wait let me take you there I didn't answer I ask the guy that we were gisting with to accompany me the guy say no that he can't so as I was going I noticing someone following me I didn't might when I enter the woman compound that I wanted to buy something the place was kind of dark from my back a guy hold with his two hands on my breast
Me trying to push the guy away I couldn't because the guy was too strong it was the guy that was driving he stop the car somewhere just to come and do that
The guy said have been wanting you in my life you refuse I started shouting he left by telling me sorry for what happened I didn't meant to do that
When I reach my compound I couldn't tell anyone up still now
I'm still a virgin I have this pain of hate for guys that ask me to date them
I can only be your friend if you don't ask me to date you
I pray God forgive that guy I just wish to get over it
This is gibberish.
DeleteVery very painful.
What is even more painful is that you will raise your hand and proudly say that you are 'educated.' By what?
You should be rearing sheep.
This is gibberish.
DeleteVery very painful.
What is even more painful is that you will raise your hand and proudly say that you are 'educated.' By what?
You should be rearing sheep.
I don't get the story..u fit translate am for Igbo?
DeleteThis ur English, na wa
DeleteYour story get as e be, na hian I go call am.E no sound like na lie or fabricated but somehow sha. How old are you?
DeleteSorry guys I was busy when tying it I'm 23
DeleteI have always known I feature in God's best laid plan, but sometimes I feel like I am not one of the clan. I find myself wandering if he is really there, but then I remember that if he is not, then I would not be here. I know for a fact that without God, man is nothing, but then I find myself wishing he will show me something. I always hear people say, "One with God is majority", but for quite some time, I have been feeling like one of the minority. I guess I just have to keep on believing, I know with time I will start receiving.
ReplyDeleteI wrote this at a time when it seemed all hope was lost and I titled it MY DOUBTS. l look back now and know things can really turn around for better. I am not where I want to be, not by a long shot, but I am definitely making progress. Whatever the situation, always remember, this too will pass.
original
beaddazzled86 commenting as anonymous
We had a dog in the house dat always gave birth to funny puppies cos of the dogs she mates with so one day my cousin and I saw one very ugly dog around then she started cussing our dog,she was like ;this dog Na just stupid ashawo dog she no dey follow better dog if to say u be person u for yeye ashawo 5kobo. I was just laughing, so later that day we saw our dog and the ugly one mating. She started raining curses on the dog again and insisted this time u will birth ugly puppies again in this house,she went and bought postinor and dissolved it in milk and gave the dog to wash dat ugly dogs sperm. We were just laughing like how will dat even work.
ReplyDeleteMonths dog was pregnant and my cousin kept threatening the dog that hope she slept some one better oh if not she will see wim in this house.
Months later I was told the dog gave birth after exams I came home only to see that puppies were just like that ugly dog we saw that day OMG. I laughed sooo hard I almost fell down.i called her and told her dat the family planning she did for the dog did not work ohh. She started cursing the dog again and said we better sell all the puppies plus their yeye ashawo mama before she reach house else she go carry go dash out.
Last last we manage sell remain one. When she came everybody was expecting her reaction when she saw the dog. Each time the dog passes close to her she will be like :comot for here, yeye. Lool
Like play that dog left home one day and never came back.everybody was on her dat she hated the dog and she couldn't take it and left.eventually the son she left behind died of old age.
It's been ages but we still about it.
Haahahahaha, na real ashewo dog, your cousin na clown.
DeleteRumor has it that I am boooorrrreeeed!
ReplyDeletehttp://www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2016/03/toke-makinwa-put-on-blast-by-her.html?m=1
ReplyDeleteOne of my funniest had to be Quickie 's comment on the link above about selecting rice from Garri. I can't stop laughing til this day and I screengrabbed for reference purposes whenever am having a bad day ๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
OK,so this is my gist.when I was 16 in south Africa,my father gave me money for my fees.on the way,I and my buddy saw an advert for a lottery, the winner was to get a car in 3 days.It was awesome,so I used my school fees on it for me and my buddy.3 days later,they announced the winner,it wasn't me.I used up all the courage I had to report my self to my dad.he beat the shit out of me...more than I have ever been beaten all my life added up.the next day we woke up and there was a car parked outside our house.we all rushed outside, but oh no,it was the electricity people. They had come to cut us off,we hadn't paid the bills.my dad took me in and beat the hell out of me again. It was the worst two days of my life.now I think about the car parked outside and I'm like jeez
ReplyDeleteI recall this ๐๐๐๐
DeleteBiko Stella did you say people should start fabricating new stories to make themselves laugh? Abi I no read this post well sey na old comments? Na eh. This recession aburu kwa obele ife.
ReplyDeleteAhaaa Stella Kork I forgot to add the midnight amebo. Linda Ikeji has said YES!!!!!!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteThis is goodnews with a tingling feeling.
You must come for the Igbankwu inugo. Sweep everything under the carpet. Gbahara. Rapu okwu.
Can imagine the look on their Mum's face.
#fulfilment
That awesome moment I picked the phone and dialed "Mummy there's somebody o" and I was blushing. Then she went like "akokwana! Onye ebee? Ok ok you book a flight and come let's talk with Daddy unu". Hahahaha. I can only imagine.
Congrats Linda. Go make your Mama proud.
Next is Rita Dominic. I know you all are reading. Yes. All of us are SDK bvs. Forgerrit.
Inukwa
DeleteThe big yes ? Hope there is a video like that of laura's
Waawuuu ...finally
Congrats to her
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteRemember a wedding i went to :
ReplyDeleteIt happens that the bride was dating one guy in a popular market in p.h but the guy hand never strong for money matters,but the girl's family are well to do, especially his brothers. There's this guy, his name is John (not real name),he is an opportunist. That is, he is always going for what will favor him, the type that won't spend money but likes to eat others. This guy (John) seeing that this guy from same market with him is dating the girl, decided to chuck head for their matter by going to ask for the girl's hand in marriage.
That was where kasala burst for this girl. ๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข๐ข
The girl is from Swansea, while the poor guy is from Imo State. Meanwhile John is Anambra .
The family started insisting that the girl marries John and leave the other guy because they are very sure he can be able to feed her, but baby girl refused because she is in love.
They begged her(odiegwu),the father, even the eldest brother that has soo much money, madam still refused (I'm really scared for her).
After all said and done, john now found another victim...oops i mean a girl that the father has small change. You know, john is like this type of men that vows never to marry a student because they can't be spending money training someone's child in marriage, instead they marry someone that is working so that she can be bringing money to the house, SMH.
John is now married, thank God.
So it happens that my Imo guy man decided to go marry her baby girl.
After the wedding, it was now time for the reception.
Jesus!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
The worst happened, that is something she can never forget in her life. The worst to happen to any woman.
There's how this popular market people do in their colleagues wedding. When the bride and groom dances into the reception hall,the MC asks them to stand and call someone close to them to spray money on them before they can seat down. The husband called someone and the person sprayed him money till he walked to his seat and sat down.
Time for the bride,Mooooooooogggggggggggbbbbbbbbbbbbeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!
Normally, money was supposed to rain supreme on the bride, as a girl she is nau but......the reverse was the case.
Mc asked the bride to call someone!!!!
She called the eldest brother, he refused to come out (Gbege!!!) He was sitting there jeje, hmm.
Oya call another person, she called the second brother, gbege oooo, he refused to come out.
Ok just call someone else, she called the eldest brother's wife, a woman for that matter, she didn't come out too o.
People open mouth ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ๐ฐ
You would think na Nolly movies o.
Oga Mc come see say kole werk, he asked her to now go and sit down. Naim most people take style go their house.
We come later hear say, they gave the groom Imillion naira check after the epic disgrace. I said SHAME on them. Medicine after death.
That girl is wounded for life, tufia!!!!!
Now the guy they were forcing her to marry don't even have shishi, very stingy thing, i think it's because he mostly wears plain trouser and shirt with.I know him ooooo
Wait is this for real ?
DeleteThis is from pipi Lee, one of the most embarrassing moment post, I had to google it up, twas so funny.
ReplyDeleteHere it goes:Just a fresh graduate, went for my usual short visit in my
uncle's place, had to attend their church for a programme, a
very big church and a theological institute too, so they have
students pastors there. I'm a regular visitor cos I always go
visit during short breaks /hols while schooling, so I wasn't
really a new face in church. They know me and know my
family (uncle's fam).
That particular evening, was feeling so spiritual, every altar call
I answered, until it got to the alter call for the fresh graduate's,
I didn't know it was for students pastors only, I stood up and
walked the long distance to the altar still in the spirit, the
bishop was talking, dishing out advice pertaining to ministry
works, that was odd, wetin concern university graduates and
ministry work; then he said start talking to God about your
ministry, the world you are about to enter, your mission to win
souls for God, commune with the holy spirit, it is time to draw
strenght from him, ghen ghen; then I opened my eyes and
scanned my immediate surrounding, saw ladies and guys
around me, all well dressed like evangelists and pastors,
women, heads well covered, shirts below their knees, no
makeup, no or simple earing, the blood of Jesus, I was wearing
a bodycon dress, very long braids with a strip of cloth I just
tied in a fancy way on my head, nails fix(not loud tho), makeup
fairly on point, God of mercy, who did this to me, they were all
speaking in tongues, some rolling on the floor, I was the odd
one out, was just thinking, what exactly will church members
be thinking, I look like the ogbanje sent to destroy their
ministry right. Anyways, God gave me the courage to
withstand the stares on the long walk down back to my seat.
Of cos my uncle's wife and cousins could not hold back
laughter and tears. All altar calls became suspicious from that
day onward.
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐
DeletePipi killed me that say especially @i look like the ogbanje sent to destroy their
ministry
*day
Deletehahahahahahaha. Falcon and Bloggie oooo
DeleteBwahaahahhahaha๐คฃ๐๐๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteI remember this!!
This is from pipi Lee, one of the most embarrassing moment post, I had to google it up, twas so funny.
ReplyDeleteHere it goes:Just a fresh graduate, went for my usual short visit in my
uncle's place, had to attend their church for a programme, a
very big church and a theological institute too, so they have
students pastors there. I'm a regular visitor cos I always go
visit during short breaks /hols while schooling, so I wasn't
really a new face in church. They know me and know my
family (uncle's fam).
That particular evening, was feeling so spiritual, every altar call
I answered, until it got to the alter call for the fresh graduate's,
I didn't know it was for students pastors only, I stood up and
walked the long distance to the altar still in the spirit, the
bishop was talking, dishing out advice pertaining to ministry
works, that was odd, wetin concern university graduates and
ministry work; then he said start talking to God about your
ministry, the world you are about to enter, your mission to win
souls for God, commune with the holy spirit, it is time to draw
strenght from him, ghen ghen; then I opened my eyes and
scanned my immediate surrounding, saw ladies and guys
around me, all well dressed like evangelists and pastors,
women, heads well covered, shirts below their knees, no
makeup, no or simple earing, the blood of Jesus, I was wearing
a bodycon dress, very long braids with a strip of cloth I just
tied in a fancy way on my head, nails fix(not loud tho), makeup
fairly on point, God of mercy, who did this to me, they were all
speaking in tongues, some rolling on the floor, I was the odd
one out, was just thinking, what exactly will church members
be thinking, I look like the ogbanje sent to destroy their
ministry right. Anyways, God gave me the courage to
withstand the stares on the long walk down back to my seat.
Of cos my uncle's wife and cousins could not hold back
laughter and tears. All altar calls became suspicious from that
day onward.
Yeah I remember this one...she won that week's IHG
DeleteI can't remember any, but queen and boss always crack me up with her comment, biko not the fake one oh
ReplyDeleteFake queen recent trolls crack me up. Can't memorize any though,
DeleteD story of d bird dat followed bv all d way from d abroad
ReplyDeleteIsaacson!!!
ReplyDeleteI remember that comment, it was so funny I took a screenshot. It said, "The most embarrassing moment was when my short uncle visited us. So at night, due to his shortness my sister carried him to urinate thinking he's my junior brother. The next morning he left with anger. Up till today we haven't seen him again."
I can't deal. Lmao.
Chysugar's comment about a friend's girlfriend that screams "scattter the pusy... tear the pussy" wen they have sex.
ReplyDeleteSt frankool's comment on the uniport best graduating student they gave #250. He said (not verbatim) "dem for kuku give am 2 indomie and one egg na"
ReplyDelete*BREAKING NEWS !!!* lagos/ibadan expressway will be closed down as from 29th April 2017 to 3rd may. Kindly inform all your Contacts, Students, Corpers, and Motorists to take alternative Routes... *Reason: bcos I will be learning how to drive a trailer.* If u lyk vex, e no concern me.........
ReplyDelete#copied
#The truth is never as painful as discovering a lie*
ReplyDelete#The truth is never as painful as discovering a lie*
ReplyDeleteMy neigbour was sick and invited a
ReplyDeletenative doctor warned him and he told
me that he can't. I pleaded with him and
begged him to wait for Gods time but he
refused (I leave am nah) he went
inside his house with the native doctor,
after the native doctor finised doing his
inchantment, he told my neigbour that
the sickness is incurable but can be
transferred to another person and my
neigbour greedily agreed, the native
doctor then told my neigbour that the
first person that will enter his house he
should shout "taarh" and the sickness
will transfer to the person and the
person will die, my neigboured agreed
and the native doctor left in a hurry
forgetting to collect his money for the
service he had offered. My neigbour sat
down in his parlour and kept his door
opened waiting for the first victim that
will pass through that door. The native
doctor then remembered that he forgot
to collect his money and decided to go
back and collect it. Immediately the
native doctor entered my neigbour
shouted "taarh" and the native doctor
shouted "retaarh" and my neigbour
shouted again "reretaaarh" the native
doctor replied "rereretaaaarh". This
noice started since morning and up till
now they are both shouting
"rererererereretaaaaaaaaarrrhhhh"
๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐ ๐
Delete๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐now this is really funny.
DeleteDem still de there Comrade? Still at it?๐๐๐๐๐today na today. ๐๐๐
๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐๐now this is really funny๐๐๐๐๐๐๐. Dem still de there Comrade? Still at it? Today na today. Who wan die?๐๐๐๐๐
DeleteI remember a comment made by TGW. Where her kids were singing children of God will u shout hallelujah. And one of the kids says shout hallelujah for 100 times. I laughed so much that day. It been long though.
ReplyDelete๐๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ๐คฃ
DeleteStello-lala biko d teeth of that smiley above is irritating *yuck*! Some girls will still kiss like that. Tueh!
ReplyDeleteThis for me is the funniest comment yet, by our very own Kehinde Ake(I wonder where he is now... hmmm!) Anyway, he posted in a post "about most embarassing momements" I always go back to read whenever I wanna have a good laugh. Hope you likey?
ReplyDeleteIt was the first time I was confronted with a live pussy. Healthy one. It was winking at me with slightly parted, pinky inner lips. I fearfully touched as if it is a wound. Na so the vjay yawn , open mouth for me. Is it suppose to behave like this? So I rewarded my curiosity by asking
Me : " e dey pain you? "
She: " why e go pain me? "
Me:" As e be like sore, I think say e go pain you "
She: (feigning anger, she covered her oputamia) "lekwe nsogbu o, make I cover my sore then".
That was when it dawned on me that I could lose the opportunity if I don't stop showing stupid sympathy.
Me: " Anwili m, no vex, I no know say na so e dey be ".
I did the North-South-East-West sign n sank in with caution. It was warm, huggy and so .... Moments later, I felt a heat coursing through the soles of my feet. Convulsion don dey hold me. It felt like I wanted to pee. I tried to pull out. She held my butt cheeks and was dragging me in. We were struggling.
Me: " Piss dey catch me, piss dey catch me"
She: "No be piss"
Me: "Na you get my body? "
She: "Oya piss put"
Me: "I no dey piss inside house" ( village restrooms are usually build away from the main house)
She: "Them dey piss for this kind house..."
That was when my water broke. It was the sweetest piss of my life as she had me buried in her 'house' Then she started laughing. Don't ask if she was way older than me.
Can't remember any at the moment...
ReplyDeleteI dey come make i think.
When Bloglord referred to a child minder as "childminer" the comments that day was epic!
ReplyDelete#RipOluyomi
It was this lady that was using an escalator for the first time. She was on a date with a guy she just met as they were going down the escalator she tripped and fell and the ice cream she was licking was all over her hair.
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ReplyDelete