NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
WALKING AWAY AFTER SNOOPING!
Hi Stella and fellow bvs. I am so pained as I write this. Two days ago my husband was rushing to work and left his phone. I am not the snooping type even though I know his password. But that day something In me told me to check his phone.
Good day All....
I decided to send in my chronicles because I'm getting confused every passing day. I need my fellow bvs to share their thought on it.
My boyfriend of 11 months broke up with me last month but he wanted us to remain friends and being that I loved him alot, i agreed. We practically talk everyday, we tell each other everything just like old times. When i talk of any male friends visiting over he becomes irritated, and he sometimes hints on us being together.(things like shey when we're married you will be doing this and that).
Recently he invited me over, i have already decided to visit but a part of me wanted me to ask him why he is inviting me over, as a friend or girlfriend, he said he is inviting me as a friend and that even though we aren't dating, he won't ever give up on us. (this is someone that broke up with me o) .
At this point, I'm confused, why would you want to keep a girl when you don't want to date her?
Am i overreacting or am i wasting my time with someone that doesn't want me anymore?.
What could be his reasons?
I'm so confused.. Please i need advice.
*This one wants the benefits of a boyfriend without being one..Please do not visit him alone at home.
Hi Stella and fellow bvs. I am so pained as I write this. Two days ago my husband was rushing to work and left his phone. I am not the snooping type even though I know his password. But that day something In me told me to check his phone.
I did and lo and behold I saw text messages he exchanged with some girl. Saying I miss you bla bla, he would get her something for them to chill for her birthday last Friday. Last Friday he lied he was going for a bachelor's eve. I tried calling he wasn't picked and claimed he left his phones in the car. I confronted him when he got back from work to get the phone. All for him to say he has told me never to touch his phone and I have found what I was looking for and the messages meant nothing.
He didn't sleep with the girl. He even called the girl in my presence and put it on speaker to back up his claims. Stella I died inside. I slapped him and fought him and he kept holding me back saying nothing happened between them.
This is somebody I gave my all. I sacrificed everything for him. I could vouch with my life that he would never cheat on me. Our marriage is just a year old.
Am so pained. Things can never be the same again. I can never love or trust him anymore. All I have in my heart is pains. I want out. I want inner peace..since the incident, I have been bitter and angry. I would appreciate your advice and that of my fellow bvs. Thanks and God bless.
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
*Madam stop the drama please..your mail didnt describe him as a serial cheat....forgive him and tell him what will happen if he does it again.
Is this how people throw relationships away?Most of you come online to read stuff and apply it wrongly....you can never love him again because you saw a message of him saying he misses someone?come on!
You kept slapping him and he didnt do what most angry men do by returning the slaps?Babe,please find time to discuss with your man and encourage him to tell you how it all happened and what he found attractive about the other lady.
There are other ways to handle this please.....
Except domestic violence is involved in a situation,I am a person of giving second chance when it comes to love.
Your Marriage can get better or worse from this point on....Try again before you walk away.
One more time.I hate Snooping on phones or wallets.Cant deal.
..............................................................................
........
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CONFUSED EX
Good day All....
I decided to send in my chronicles because I'm getting confused every passing day. I need my fellow bvs to share their thought on it.
My boyfriend of 11 months broke up with me last month but he wanted us to remain friends and being that I loved him alot, i agreed. We practically talk everyday, we tell each other everything just like old times. When i talk of any male friends visiting over he becomes irritated, and he sometimes hints on us being together.(things like shey when we're married you will be doing this and that).
Recently he invited me over, i have already decided to visit but a part of me wanted me to ask him why he is inviting me over, as a friend or girlfriend, he said he is inviting me as a friend and that even though we aren't dating, he won't ever give up on us. (this is someone that broke up with me o) .
At this point, I'm confused, why would you want to keep a girl when you don't want to date her?
Am i overreacting or am i wasting my time with someone that doesn't want me anymore?.
What could be his reasons?
I'm so confused.. Please i need advice.
*This one wants the benefits of a boyfriend without being one..Please do not visit him alone at home.
Men like this are CONFUSED TIME WASTERS....you will keep waiting for him until you are invited to his wedding...lol
Ojigbijigbi
ReplyDeleteGood advice Stella. I have nothing to add to what you said than to wish you and all well meaning folks a Happy Easter.
Delete@poster 1; can u hear yourself saying you slapped your husband.... and he didnt touch you. If after you slapped him, he beat the shit out of you, shee you will carry your dumb self and pictures of your injuries to sdk crying wolf domestic violent. Poster 1 bcareful
DeletePoster 1. Wetin make u first de vouch say your husband can never cheat before? I understand you are hurt but pls get a grip of yourself and push the " it's over " card out of your mind na.
DeletePoster 2. I had an idiot like this your yeye boy/friend. Cut him loose my dear. If he wants you and he misses you too much he will come back for real. Otherwise you will be emotionally unstable with this kind of emotionally unstable soul.
Poster pls block his sorry ass in all your social media. Tell him you can't be friends with him, that you need to be able to meet and move on with someone else, which might be difficult as long as he's in the picture...
DeleteHe just want to manipulate and toil with your emotions. Don't let him!! What rubbish!!
P1. Please give him another chance. I know there's no excuse for what he did, but if he is truly very sorry, then give him another chance. Don't let your pride ruin your marriage, the grass is never greener at the other side...
I pray you two work it out.
Stella God bless for ur advice to poster1. They come online to read stuff and then apply it wrongly.
DeletePoster 1... Forgive
DeletePoster 2.... Ignore.
Poster1 pls forgive ur husband.try give him another chance.my husband confessed cheating on me and this is just our 2nd year being married and we have a child together.he was really sorry and felt really guilty.I forgave him and he has been a better husband after then.infact he treats me better now cuz of guilt.u cant leave ur marriage cuz of one silly mistake.do u know if ur next might be worse
DeletePoster 1.Only text message and you are jumping up like this. Nwanne biko have seat. So you do not know that in marriage your second name is forgiveness. Biko forgive the man. Besides there is a way you will overdo the something now and you will now be the guilty one so you better quit this drama while the begging is good. #my2pence
DeletePoster 2... The question is not why HE is keeping you still. It is why a grown ass woman will CHOOSE to be made a fool out of.
DeleteKuku take paper and pen and write CHEAP on a placard and stand by the roadside with it. Don't give yourself sense. Because na you first love.
Poster 2... The question is not why HE is keeping you still. It is why a grown ass woman will CHOOSE to be made a fool out of.
DeleteKuku take paper and pen and write CHEAP on a placard and stand by the roadside with it. Don't give yourself sense. Because na you first love.
Stupid enugu Boy
DeleteEkwueme, u claim Ur people don't accept outsiders but I kept one from years.
Now, he is with you becos u are from his place.
He invited you to port Harcourt abi.
I wish maria will agree for him to be cursed. I will pay for the whole thing.
Hate to see people like this go free.
Sorry for d typos. I dey vex
Poster 1 u need to take things easy and listen to your husband, forgive him and don't be too hard on yourself.Its appalling how ladies hustle guys these days,shame dey leave them catch me.Imagine my husband's ex's ,married women oo,disturbing him with calls and WhatsApp that he doesn't call nor respond to text,when they call,he would not pick.They left him and got married earlier than he did,now the guy is balling, they want a share,I'm keeping strong and calm,the one I catch ll regret her entire life.
DeleteThe two posters you are already adviced by Stella so pls stick to the advice.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:Physical violence is not the solution
DeleteYou need to forgive your hubby I know it's not easy but you have to how would you feel if your hubby brought the girl home and slept with her and even gave you STI when your marriage is just six months not even up to and this is a man I gave everything to my dear what will you do.......nothing don't let anyone advice you other wise and the grass isn't greener at the other side please find it in your heart to forgive him I know it hurts because I have been there and it's been 5years now and he hasn't given any reason to doubt him
But have it in mind he will still try to cheat
#Godsdeliveryroom
@Poster 1, please forgive him, don't trust any man that he can't cheat, always have it at the back of your mind that most men can't do without cheating.
ReplyDelete@Poster2, how old are you and your bf? Please try and grow up and let the boy be, he will only be fucking you for free until you see his IV getting married to another person
*Larry was here*
Poster 1 is an E! Entertainment/BET wife. Silly girl, your vow of for better for worse nko?
DeleteBeeveees! Make una follow me thank God ooooo.My vehicle was involved in a fire,but no life was lost. To God be the glory o.
DeleteThank God for your safety.
DeletePoster one i always say all men cheat and some will come under my comment to yarn dust. They cheat and hide it. For those that have an iota of respect for their woman that is. So i always look at women who say their men dont cheat like of only you knew. Maybe only 2% of men dont cheat. Anyways you slapping your hubby and fighting him when he beats you we will now start hearing domestic violence. Issues can be sorted out without anyone being hit. Thats why you guys r adults. Forgive him and dont leave your home for another woman to come and take over.
ReplyDelete@Trinity you talk true jare. Me sha wont marry a husband and think 'hes never gonna cheat'. Just make sure i dont catch him (im very sensitive to behavioural changes) cos i will make his life hell. I wont leave his house, i wont grant him a divorce and i wont give him peace if he dares move out. Hell i will create for him until my anger wears off. Useless men looking for who to kill early.
DeleteAs for you madam, better stop acting like a widow and 'woman up'. Whats all this sacrificial lamb talk? U actually believe he didnt sleep with the girl? I laugh in ejagham 😂 Hes such a layar *in Dr. Heavenly's voice* better get yourself together and give him an ultimatum to buckle up and stop hanky panky.
Poster 2- why you still even picking his calls and entertaining conversations with him? Na u dey keep ear to hear nonsense nau. U never ready. Someone broke up with you and you're still discussing trash with him? Two of una fit.
As in eee, once u say d all men cheat dey will all come to talk trash, once in a while a man must cheat on his woman,by mistake or on purpose..for the fact u dnt knw ur husband cheats doesn't mean he di
DeleteSpeak for urslf only dear..not all men CHEAT!
DeletePoster 1 y would u in D first place have that full confidence even to d point u can vouch for him dat he cannot cheat on u?wrong move i must say cos 99% of men cheat d good tin about it is they won't ever want you to find out cos of d respect they have for dia ladies.d deed has been done pls find a place in ur heart to forgive him,u have to make ur marriage work.poster 2 run far from dat dude he jst want to be doing d do wit you without d boyfriend tag be warned.
Delete@chikito your head dey there!
DeletePoster 1 I don't subscribe to physical abuse and violence.
ReplyDeleteYes it hurts to see someone you love hurt you but at least you found out and now you know that it will keep him on the edge to either stop the act completely or hide his tracks very well that you'd never find out.
Honestly, I know how you feel but this where you make the rules that will either make or mar your marriage. Don't stop doing your duties as his wife but let him know that he has to earn your trust again. You both need to comMunich ye you feelings. Why does he have a girlfriend and buying gifts for another woman that isn't you or a relative? What does she give him that you're doing?
You see getting angry and giving up won't change anything. You won't feel better either way, so get to the root of it.
Poster 2 brother man has a main girlfriend and just wants you around as a second fiddle. Stop the friendship thing because you'd end up losing twice. Girlfriend to side chic? Mba nu, it's not worth it.
Poster 2 forget that your ex. He wants to keep sleeping with you while he's dating another.
ReplyDeletePoster 2
DeleteIs Ur name christabel and is his name Sunday from aku, nsukka.
If he is, run for your life o.
He is d devil oooo
A word is enough for d wise.
Byeèee!!!!!!
Poster 2,please stick to Stella's advise. Infact undo that friendship because I foresee it being toxic. He is clearly not matured... True love will find you in no time,but while you are looking forward to that,imvest your time in productive activities...
ReplyDeletePoster 2
DeleteFor Ur own good, follow this advice.
I was in Ur exact same shoes 3 years ago. I am yet to get over how it ended. He was solo into me and every time I would Gather strength to move on, he would come around Nd be extra loving to me. I would beg he let me be soon could move on Nd date someone else but he would call me endlessly crying andbegging Nd because like you, I was helplessly in love with him, I would always accept friendship hoping he's see way he's missing Nd ask me out again.
Mind u, all d while we spoke every tingle day.
It was clear I was madly in love with him. I could hv sworn he was too.
Let me not bore you with d long host but my sister, I ended up in d hospital with severe depression. I lost my mind and my mom would cry helpless for me. Sometimes I would become normal and cry my eyes out. It was day bad. My whole life was at a standstill.
The horrible truth is that he doesn't see u as wife material enough. The worst mistake u will make is hanging around hoping he'd mk a move. Run for your life my dear. He is from d devil. If up continue hanging around him, you will never ever be able to get over him. I swear it. He may call you and make promises but don't even give him a listening ear cos he will get into Ur head again.
I am talking to you like I would if u were my sister.
You would even feel worse for u because u were warned.
Poster one...
ReplyDeleteYou are still a learner...
You shouldn't have reacted instantly!...you would have wait to gather all the evidence before confronting him...
Well,like I always advise newly married women and some naive married women...
Go and do a spiritual work on his head!...
Chain your dog before he bring home an incurable disease!...
Forgive him and move on!...but Make sure you suffer him wella before forgiving!...
Poster 2
This guy want to keep you as plan B incase his plan A fails him...
He has someone else but want to keep you incase of "incasity"...
Don't give him that chance abeg...
Free your self from him and give other men a chance...
Don't go and visit him either cos he will gbensh you and clean mouth!...
Poster 1: I have been waiting patiently for any domestic violence case to show up so that I can lambast the bastard but it turns out to be a woman. Great work Mrs man beater, you are a beast in human form; if you can do that to your husband I can't imagine how you will treat your suburdinates. Only immature monsters hit their spouses. I used to, but I have outgrown it.
DeleteAs for you this qwin of the coast, you are making less sense as the days progress. I wonder how your dog(horseband) would feel if he could read all this trash you type - maybe he's an illiterate!
But you can also take incurable diseases to your husband, since you always talk about your sugar boys or side boys, and also the girls/ladies you eat their pussies. Do you think you aren't indulging in risky affairs and endangerment to your spouse? men alone aren't to be blamed in spreading stds okay?!
DeleteD 2 posters are immature confused baboons!am out!
ReplyDeleteStella this your advice no follow. The guy did not admit to his wrongdoing or beg for forgiveness. This one is a long term cheat that got caught for the first time. You Nigerian woman condone infidelity a lot, I don't know why. If it were the other way around, do you think the guy would even have time to be slapping her? Na to just pack her bag back to her father's house. Madam do what is best for you. Take some days away from that man and think about your next step. You're hurt now but anger gives way to reason, allow the hate subside then make a logical decision. All the best.
ReplyDelete'You Nigerian women'
DeleteSo what are you? Australian?
Best comment so far..Imagine Stella asking her to ask the man what he finds attractive about the other woman? smh..So if na Ass. ..mek she do surgery..abi? For how long can she keep changing things about herself? Girl. .don't ask that question..cos he will cheat again and give u a reason as to why he did...U need sometime.....but Set rules 4 hI'm. Don't tell him you don't love him...but let him see u u don't show affection like before...But act all cool with him..and act like u are so happy lately...
DeletePoster one: sorry
ReplyDeletePoster two: I've been there, in my own case, he asked me out again, I told him I gonna think about it, I've been thinking about it since three months,lol. Stop giving him audience, if he still wants you, let him do the right thing.
Hmmm Stellar nwunye Korkus surprise me today ehhn; she must really be in a good mood not to hand u ova to d teamsnoop association for advice ....
ReplyDeleteAnyways,
Narrative numero uno: its well wt ur marriage. Men are selfish beings u must know that, he'll wud hv being let loose if this chronicle was d oda way round. Infact u wud hv been on ur way back to ur parents " house.
Don"t opt out of d marriage, d grass is not always greener on d oda side.
Ask d Lord to mend ur broken heart n blind ur hubby "s eye to d affection of oda ladies. Its a good thing u snooped #snoopingsavinglivessince1900
Poster 0ne you are your own problem. If it were the man dishing out slaps like that everyone would be screaming domestic violence. You need to get a hold in your emotions! Stop making a mountain out of a molehill. Stop pushing your man outside with your difficult to please attitude. Forgive, that's all! I'm sure he's tired too but holding on. Its good Friday. We did worse yet Christ still died on the cross to save us.
ReplyDeleteA man having another woman is a mountain out of a molehill. Smh, if she contracts an STD will it be a molehill then? Not all men cheat. You guys are only married a year, which suggests that he has been cheating way before you got married. All I can tell you is to pray and protect yourself, aside that I can't tell you what to do.
DeletePoster 1 , Try and make your marriage work, believe me once you walk out another will JUMP in.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 . Do not let that guy waste your precious time.
Women with low self esteem up and down. Whats with another woman jumping in? Let the other woman jump in na. If she cant take it, shr can leave. Madam dont let all these women with low quality bully u into a loveless life. If u cant take it, leave. If u can,then stay. Thats why i respect women like carolina danjuma and dabota lawson. Live ur life mbok.
Deleteposter 1, what you are reading on sm has blinded you so you want to divorce. what offence has your husband committed cos me I no see one.
ReplyDeleteposter 2, is good to be matured with ex but not to be foolish, the guy will waste your time and move on. better don't let him dictate your life, don't attend to him every time, telling him your new guy is calling, or around or you're visiting him and stop calling him too. him brain go set.
Poster one..
ReplyDeleteSnooping is not for the faint hearted! Thank your stars he didn't hit you back when he slapped ooh.
If you choose to leave, just know that some bitch somewhere is ready to move in right away. If you still love him, do plenty shakara, suffer him small, make him jealous. Then forgive him! He has to cut off all contact with her and promise never to cheat on you, ever!
It's possible he might not keep to his promise, but you gotta give him a benefit of the doubt.
*when you slapped him
Delete*give him the benefit of the doubt
NB: You can leave if that's what you want o. Na my opinion I drop
Poster two, the biggest mistake you can make is give him the cookie.
ReplyDeleteNarrative numero deux: wake up girl n smell d coffee. Ex shud be Exed. Ur so called bobo wants to chew onions wtout having it smell on his mouth, how is dat possible? U beta wisen up n distance ursef from dat toxic r /ship u call friendship.
ReplyDeletePoster1: Chillax ur nerves!
ReplyDeleteYour 1st honest mistake is humbly believing that a man will NEVER cheat on you, really?? A man with a working dick? Flaming red hot libido? That's like finding a needle in a haystack, xcept he's got issues down south or he's not that into sex, i advise women to picture the worst case scenario, in that case u wldnt be so heartbroken wen it happens. Just a txt msg is blowing off ur lid, i alnost thought u caught them in bed 2gthr or a txt saying "That sex u gave me was the bomb"..... "Your pussy is better than my wifes".... "That's the best blow job of my life".... Etc, you'd visit 3rd mainland be that na.
Poster2: your BF thinks he's smart, well maybe he is around you, he wants to keep u & also test others guilt free, and ure giving him that power, I've always said it that if u can be friends after dating, immediately after dating, then u were both not in love! Shut the door behind that niggar & move ahead, if he's ready to be serious he should knock, if thers vacancy for him, u open.... The door shldnt be left ajar for him to be foolin around.
Don't i just love you?
DeleteWhere are u pls we need to be friends...
I keep wondering how women tink men can be faithful always..just pray u don't find out and he still performs his duties at home..u will see the other side of him if u slap him again, u are here complaining who knows weda u even satisfy him... Do your own nd leave d rest mbok..
Pls u guyz should stop this already....not all men cheat,I've been with my wife for good 7yrs and I have never,I repeat NEVER cheated on her not even a fling.I just don't have a reason to and yes I am very much active,I think it a matter of the heart not because of her but because of the fear of God that is deep in my heart,even though my religion permits more than one wife with the clause of if u can love and treat them "equally" but it say "more than one wife" not "girlfriend or concubine",it becomes adultery if my wife don't have the knowledge abt it and if I don't marry the lady legally.so pls let's change this ideology. Thanks.
Delete1 like .
DeletePoster 1,na wa o,i know it's painful but is that enough for u to break up the marriage?it's like most of these women do not really listen when they counsel u concerning marriage,i'm not married but the truth is I'm well prepared for anything that will happen when I eventually get married. Just one year and u are pulling out seeing chats from him to one girl and not many girls like the case of most women here. Please find it in ur heart to forgive him and enjoy ur marriage and don't give room to any girl to come and scatter what u have built for years. Lastly,please,always pray with ur hubby before going to bed at night and in the morning when u guys wakes up,i strongly believe in that adage that says a family that pray together stay together. I'm happy he isn't the violent type too,if not u wouldn't be complaining only about the hurt u feel for him cheating but also body pains for panel beating u. Lastly,pray sist,pray. God bless u.
ReplyDeletePoster two
ReplyDeleteMy dear you have been friend zoned! The worst is that he wants benefits as well..greedy murrafucka 😂
Don't visit him anything joor, tell him to decide what he wants and get back to you. In the meantime.. Find another series bobo cos this one is a confused dude!
He should decide what? Babe, you should decide o! Stay away from him! Or else, you might end up hating him. I have been there, trust me. Don't hurt yourself emotionally. Shut the door on his flat face. In fact, don't let him know anything about you again. CUT THE ASSHOLE OFF! Confused mofo!
Delete*another serious bobo
DeletePoster 1,na wa o,i know it's painful but is that enough for u to break up the marriage?it's like most of these women do not really listen when they counsel u concerning marriage,i'm not married but the truth is I'm well prepared for anything that will happen when I eventually get married. Just one year and u are pulling out seeing chats from him to one girl and not many girls like the case of most women here. Please find it in ur heart to forgive him and enjoy ur marriage and don't give room to any girl to come and scatter what u have built for years. Lastly,please,always pray with ur hubby before going to bed at night and in the morning when u guys wakes up,i strongly believe in that adage that says a family that pray together stay together. I'm happy he isn't the violent type too,if not u wouldn't be complaining only about the hurt u feel for him cheating but also body pains for panel beating u. Lastly,pray sist,pray. God bless u.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, your ex boyfriend wants to perform Okafor's law on him.... No need being a friend with benefits... In fact, start ignoring him
ReplyDeleteExactly stella has said it all. He will just keep playing with your emotions
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Just stop and focus on your marriage. Your hubby has told you the truth even after the slap. My dear you got a good man as a husband I bet you that 80 percent of NIGERIAN men will not take thay especially when they are not wrong like in your case. Pls stop snooping, snooping has cost me alot that I can't start sharing here.
DeletePoster one i hate cheating even though im a cheat. Thats why im not in a relationship. Sleeping around spree mehn. I like my peace so i cant advice u.
ReplyDeletePoster two. If u go there and he tries to touch you, quickly ask him how much he will pay for the service. If he asks you ' re u now a runs geh, tell him yes. Bergain with him be fore the do. No shame o cos you are not his gf abi. Guys be manipulating girls since 1900.
Wawwuu!! Demons collection and return spree mehn. You go girl. High five!! ✋
DeleteDemons collection 😅😅😅😅😅😅 chikito you haff killed me. Oh God this girl eh
DeletePoster one.
ReplyDeleteI know some people around you will say since he didn't admit it, he respects you. He didn't hit back? He is a good man. You should be lucky he denied it,etc
When it comes to cheating in marriage for both the woman and man,there is no justification at all. It shouldn't make you feel any better that Mrs A's husband even beats her after cheating,IT IS A CHARACTER FLAW.
You have the right to feel how you want to feel,cry if you want to. Just don't leave your home. This is major, but I'd rather you give your 100% and know you tried.
Yes, for someone that isn't used to lies and deceit, It might take a while for you to come around.
But please, find a place in your heart to forgive him. Then do whatever you want with him,LOL. Threats,Tests,Talks etc.
Poster two.
You sound so excited that this dude is still keeping you around him for his selfish self.
He broke up with you,wants to hear your voice always,dangles that carrot by insinuating that something might still happen and you are so hopeful.
Gradually,he will sleep with you and let you blame yourself for it too.
You didn't even think its wrong for him to be upset about the boys that show interest in you? It doesn't translate to love sometimes you know?
Cut all ties with that dude.
He is an EX for a reason,If you were not good enough to be his girlfriend, you cannot be his bestie either.
Keep it moving.
👍 spot on;
DeletePoster1,stick to Stella's advice,dont let bvs make u blow everything outta proportion with bad advice.Keep loving ur husband and try ur best to keep ur home.
ReplyDeletePoster2:If u keeping following him this way,u may end up being his side chick,so MOVE ON,treat him like u treat ur casual male friends,no visiting at all,let the friendship be on phone,eatery,or fix a date.If he wants u to take him seriously he should come and marry you,that is, if u like him enough for marriage.
Poster 1, onc he surprises you with gifts now you'll run to him like a dog seeing his favorite shit after a while. Calm down and rebound
ReplyDeletePoster 2,better don't go visiting him,he is a time waster. In ur heart whether u agree with me or not,u feel u are still in a relationship with him,but let me tell u,if u don't forget about him totally and move on with ur life, a good man will not come by. Block all contacts with him sharply.
ReplyDeleteStella on point👍👍👍
ReplyDeletePoster 1: you slapped your husband coz of message what if you see him on top woman you'll kill him niyen. This is why I don't jump on any DV cases anyhow because most times women cause it. Assuming he beats you up now for defending the slap that's how you'll come here for consolation without stating the role you played. Too much zee world is worrying you. You want to leave your home are you a toddler? When I tell people to stop doing romantic love all around and be practical when choosing a life partner they'll call me a sadist. You made your hubby your alpha and omega that's why you're having unnecessary pain. Too much expectations will kill you. Please cool down. Vex if you want to but don't be hitting a grown person if you can't handle their retaliation. This is marriage. O she she bere, there's still more. Save yourself some aches and set some limitation between you and husband. What you can take and what you can't.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: please leave him. That guy is a padlock guy. Time waster, please leave him and find your own man abeg!
Lmaoo @ plenty zee world
DeletePoster 1...Give ur husband a second chance...
ReplyDeletePoster 2...leave dat guy 4 good biko...
Poster 1: I understand how you feel, it is normal. But remember, this is marriage not relationship. You can love him again with God. Fake it until it is real. Don't give him anymore excuse to cheat. Start showing him love again, even when you don't want to while you keep praying to God to heal your wound and heal your marriage. Believe me, the love can till be restored. While at it, sit your husband down and get to the root of the problem, what prompted the cheating; since he is not a serial cheat. Don't be defensive while having this discussion. I always say, everyone has a reason they act the way they do, no matter how stupid the reason may sound, get to know the reason first, then a solution can be found. Fight for your marriage babe, divorce is not the answer. The only marriage that can't be healed is one with domestic violence, and yours doesn't have that.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, same thing happened to me too. He broke up with me and wanted friendship but I refused. He later wanted to come back, but by then, I didn't want him back. He begged for friendship, I didn't want to be his friend because I saw him as a betrayer. But because I wanted to act 'matured', I agreed. I regretted it because I could not suppress the hatred I had for him. I ended up cutting it off with him. Bottom line, ditch that guy jare. If you are not good enough to love, he is not worth your friendship.
1st poster:
ReplyDeleteI am a realist and I have to tell u some bitter facts...
Most men are guilty of sex chatting or flirty exchange of messages with the opposite sex.U can't vouch for any young, attractive man whether hubby,boyfriend or acquaintance.
U can be walking with him on the road and catch him staring at another lady' behind or stealing lustful glances at other women.
He may not necessarily want to have anything with her,its their nature.
Men are moved by what they see.
#bittertruth
He might stumble on a pretty girl's pic on Facebook and creep into her messenger to ask her out...He may not necessarily sleep with her .He might just want friendship and nothing more.
Now u dont have a difficult case here if u can nip this in the bud.
Talk to him and make him realize u are hurt and he shouldn't make u see reasons to have second thoughts about your young marriage.
Forgive him and up your arsenals ,fight for your home not in a confrontational way but subtly so his conscience can prick him.
Give him another chance but this time state clearly what ticks u off so he doesn't see u as a doormat.
When u hear marriage,its not a bed of roses. You are just 1 year old.prepare your mind and prayerfully ask God to shield your home from predators.
Good luck*
Well said... I like u
Delete@chysugar, ure so on point.
DeletePlenty of ehug n kisses to u jare.
@anon 17:18...Awwww. 💋💋💋
DeleteThank u sweetie...kisses to u too..
Aaaaawwwww... Kisses @Trolling baby.
DeleteI like u too💋💋💋💋
Na only women dey fight for their home. If only we could educate men to fight for their homes, all these nonsense will not be rampant
DeletePoster 1: forgive him
ReplyDeletePoster 2: better use your head. Don't go anywhere
Poster 1:
ReplyDeleteYou slapped him?
It is called domestic violence, just because it's from a woman everyone will act as if nothing happened.
If you vex finish you come down. Husband slapper.
Poster 2 :
You ex has the main Bae.
He just want your tohtoh.
If you want to be giving him free tohtoh, continue visiting him but don't come back her to shout men are wicked.
Poster1 forgive your husband and make your marriage work, oyinbo film don spoil women of this generation see how u want to walk away as if he committed the unpardonable sin
ReplyDeletePoster2 borrow sense and waka, the guy is wasting ur time. I'd advice u reduce ur communication with him or else u'd never move on
Poster 1:
ReplyDeleteThat couch discussion about cheating men giving their wives gift/money, you are in right position to answer it now.
So gist me, what will you do in a case like that?
Lol@ So gist me
Delete"Except domestic violence is involved in a situation,I am a person of giving second chance...". Madam, domestic violence is already involved. She slapped him and hit him severally I believe, even though she used the word "fought him" to disguise her man-beating episode. I hope it isn't just domestic violence when the woman is at the receiving end. The poster said "this is somebody I gave my all. I sacrificed everything for him.." No wonder she had the effrontery to slap him and beat him up. We tell men all the time, never ever take anything from a woman. A woman never gives out anything for free. When you take anything from her, she believes she automatically owns you. You start hearing "after all I've done for you". Real men don't put themselves in situations where a woman would tell them "I've sacrificed my all...". Madam, you should be grateful your husband is a sisi, a real man would have beaten you black and blue for daring to slap him. Yes, I said "a real man". There's been a subtle campaign by women to allow men take slaps from them and walk away to bee bestowed with titles like "real man" and "gentle man". No real man leaves a slap from a woman unanswered except of course she's his mum.
ReplyDeleteReally? A real man will beat her? Wow! In as much as I don't support her slapping her husband, you amaze me by saying a real man will beat her. Wow! Just wow!!!
DeleteNothing to say again,Stella have said it all
ReplyDeletePoster one, I think u left out some details like him hitting u back while u fought otherwise u won't say u want out.
ReplyDeletePoster two, be guided!!! Which one is ' remain friends?' won't u take a walk? U dey mumu oo. U beta face front
We ladies should learn to tell ourselves the truth no matter how bitter it may be, this man is a time waster because they knows that you like him a lot transfer that lovye to yourself, self love wins the race.Was almost in your shoes until I gave myself brain.The earlier the better.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:
ReplyDeleteYou are husband beater.
This is DOMESTIC VIOLENCE alert.
I have no advice for you because you IS heartless.
If he is the one that beat you now you will be screaming domestic violence.
You said you want to divorce? You think it's easy?
Divorce him and see how that side chick will take your position.
For your mind now your are strong woman. You want BVs to clap for you because you slapped your husband.
Be there forming anger, e go over you.
Poster 2:
ReplyDeleteIs the type I call "potato" filled brain!
So he dumped you and you are only good for "sleep overs?"
You still open that vagina?
How many times have you aborted for him; or are you infertile?
The one reason many men are afraid to marry a lady is that they knew he had aborted
They do not want to jeopardize their chances of being called daddies.
Keep opening legs, keep killing and keep denying yourself the chance of motherhood!
Poster 1 :
ReplyDeleteI pity your husband because your type will pour him acid or stab him one day while he is sleeping.
Just one year into marriage and you want everyone to clear road for you as a THICK MADAM that you IS nau.
Odiegwu.
Go sit down joor...
Husband beater.
Be there forming super power.
You think say Shine your eyes mean say open eyes reach heaven. You no go use your brain arrange things.
Come let me give you advice.
Ina anwa. Ifuro gi...
Chey dis Chronicle pain u oooo..
DeleteAh ah chiks this thing pain you gaan nii,welu nwayo
Delete😄😄😄😄
DeletePoster 1- give your husband a second chance, most me flirt with women and that's the truth, poster 2- ur ex is a time waster, he would play with your emotions, he is been friends with you because he wants an easier way to keep sleeping with you while firing just friends.. u would form just friends till time passes u by nd yes he will sleep with u nd later tell u , u guys are not in a relationship
ReplyDeletePoster 1:
ReplyDeleteIf you lose this man, you will still lose another
Is most likely an "onwambe" lady
To emotionally charged
Slaps aren't the way to deal with this kind of stuff
Silence would have been better followed by systematically unveiling what you know
And of course the consequences
If you lose this man, you will still lose another
Poster 1: Your marriage is just a year old and you are already trying to leave. Then you are not ready to marry or don't even bother going into any marriage anymore. Let me first say something most ladies don't understand about men and that's why a lot of you come her to say all men are cheats. A good man which you all pray for and want to marry will always attract good women whether he likes it or not or whether he is married or not. Your husband has done something wrong by being too close to another babe. Yes he may have gone ahead and sleep with her later if you didn't discover. But ask yourself if he was really a good man and do you think the mere fact that he wears a ring will change the good sides that attracts other babes. You shouldn't have hit him but now that the deed has been done call him one on one and tell him you are sorry for bringing domestic violence into your home. Then ask him what his relationship with the lady is and let him tell you in details. He seems a nice young man and he is just under the initial pressure of marriage. Ask if you are in anyway putting him under pressure or is he bored of you in just a year. And please don't bring up the "am now your wife right". Be his friend and play more with him. And the earlier you douse this tension and hold on to your man the better it is for you or else you will be putting a huge gap and distance in your relationship. Many more babes will come of he is a good man. Have been there and I tell you it's not easy being a good man cause even the babes that are after your man knows he is married but the only thing they see is the good in him. You have to make him fight for your home. Remember you are a team and together you achieve more. Dueling on a crack will just crumble the whole marriage. Talk to your man ASAP. Good will bless and protect your home. Am a marriage man of almost two decades. Trust me it's not easy staying faithful if your wife does not protect your union.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You are just wasting your time and hanging on to nothing. It seems you can't get over him and he knows it. You don't get close to someone you call you EX. It's bad business o....he will end up dumping you someday and say don't call me anymore. And why can't you just let him be. Seems you are the one hoping he will come back but that makes you cheap cause he will have you for all his selfish reasons and deny you guys were never an item. Run ....he is a user not a give.
Nice advice anon
Delete* Run .....he is a user not a giver. Sorry for my few typo errors above. Am @ Anon 15.53.
DeleteStella's red pen is new
ReplyDeleteShe just got a new pen so she's really utilizing it
Poster1,of course ur gonna forgive him(buy can't forget)
But have a heart to heart talk with him. Let him knw dt if someone cheats on a person dt genuinely loves them and can do anything to please them,that person is cheating on him/herself.
Poster2 ur man wants friends with benefits.
Tell him more things dt would make him jealous to reset his brain. Probably he is confused (a girl might be in d pic)
Do not fall always remind him he is just a friend . Pretend to be busy wt guy hitting on u . Limit d constant chats .
Let him miss u more probably he'll receive sense
Poster One = Character. Because of this episode, you want to leave your marriage. You better take Stella's advice+admonition.
ReplyDeletePoster Two, Please forget that guy.He wants to make you the Permanent Secretary of the Friend Zone Commission. Break up with him and all his appearances. Get a new boyfriend and stop enabling him.
Poster one,its obvious that you don't know what marriage is all bout.. You want to leave a one year marriage bcos you snooped knowing fully well that you can't handle the outcome. You better take care of your marriage... Remove your mind from your husband's phone, and anything that will make you sad,it might not b easy but that's the only solution to being happy. Stop following team snoops of SDK when you can't deal with it,you had plans of how your marriage would be before getting married, work towards that and make a good marriage out of your home,don't follow other peoples ways of running their home cos you aren't there to know if its true or not of what they are saying. Finally, no marriage is perfect,trust God and put in your marriage in his hands to guide you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, biko don't visit that guy if you know you still love him,cos he will keep toiling with your emotions.. He left you, you can be friends on phone alone if you don't want to cut him off,I said that cos I know how it is... Don't ever visit him again... But if you know that after visiting him and had sex with him that you won't regret it,then go ahead...if not, get him off your mind and LIFE!!!
Poster 1: my dear, you can't walk away with every issue you have in marriage. I am not in support of cheating but this is marriage! It isn't a relationship. You must fight for it. Forgive him and both of you should sit down and work things out.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: he wants to waste your time. Why break up with you in the first place if he so much loves your company? My dear, face your life o and don't get entangled with a time waster.
When they say all men cheat they will swear with their left breast that their husbands don't....always have shock absorbers when dealing with the opposite sex weda married or not!!!
ReplyDeleteDear poster I very well agree with Stella cuz I was in that situation two months and pulled out before I turned into an old maid
ReplyDeleteMet this guy who became my friend,he confided in me with his escapades with women and how he has stopped after meeting his gf,I felt relaxed knowing that he's taken; boy was I wrong. He didn't take time to tell me he has developed feelings for me too, and when I asked him what about his gf,his response was"being in a relationship is not getting married. We had something going for a short while,and
when his gf's back is turned he remembers me, when she's around,he acts like I never existed,until two days ago I told him the painful truth about his cheating life and advised him to stick to his gf and stop looking elsewhere, since then till now he stopped talking to me
Well I don't mind if we remain enemies as long as he does the right thing
Thank God you borrowed yourself brain, because you were dating yourself. Don't ever date a man who let you know he has a girlfriend unless you just want an open relationship that is leading nowhere.
DeletePoster, talk with him and give him a chance. Please
ReplyDeletePoster, talk with him and give him a chance. Please
ReplyDeletePoster one please calm down prayer is the key
ReplyDeletePoster two drop him like a waste product what rubbish
Poster 1 please forgive him.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 have you heard of the saying "He is just not that into you"
DeleteWhy talk to ur ex frequently? Someone that even broke up with you...
ReplyDeleteMmmmmmmttttthhhheeeewwww
I tire, am not even friends with my ex. For what na. Everybody should go their ways and face their lives biko. No be quarrel but i cant be friends with you.
DeleteHelp me ask her oh @ibukun. Wetin u dey follow that kind person discuss? Anyway, people dey look face before them try some things. Chat ko, visit ni.
DeletePoster 1. U guys should sit down n settled this like matured people for christ sake ur marriage is just a year old jeez just give him another chance n sort tins out with him aii,cuz I don't think divorce is gonna be a good option ur marriage is to early for such and atleast from what u wrote I don't fink he is the voilence type of man that do awful tins(Beating etc) to their wives,wish u guys a happy married life tho.
ReplyDeletePoster2. Flee ooo, that guy have nothing to offer except wasting ur time. I am very sure he has a girl dat he is dating n doesn't want u to do same abeg leave dat guy oo and be very careful doing dat cuz guys like dis can be very dangerous and go to lengths to do what pleases them.
Poster 1. U guys should sit down n settled this like matured people for christ sake ur marriage is just a year old jeez just give him another chance n sort tins out with him aii,cuz I don't think divorce is gonna be a good option ur marriage is to early for such and atleast from what u wrote I don't fink he is the voilence type of man that do awful tins(Beating etc) to their wives,wish u guys a happy married life tho.
ReplyDeletePoster2. Flee ooo, that guy have nothing to offer except wasting ur time. I am very sure he has a girl dat he is dating n doesn't want u to do same abeg leave dat guy oo and be very careful doing dat cuz guys like dis can be very dangerous and go to lengths to do what pleases them.
Poster 1, why are you snooping? Now you have your result. Women, if you snoop and found what you don't expect, find a way to communicate with him. Stop giving yourself hypertension over nothing
ReplyDeletePost 1
ReplyDeleteYou are really ready for your marriage
Which man u'll slap like that
Abeg free d guy joor
He has apologies so accept hiss apology
Post 2
That guy is taking u as a side chick
He will fuck. U but it'll not play d role of a boyfriend
Can u at least write something comprehensible?
Delete*not*
Delete*he*
Poster one, please to err is human and to forgive is divine he is not the only one in this. Try and forgive him, as a human, I have learnt not to take decisions when am angry, try and apply this same principle it will help you so u don't regret your actions later. Be calm and think of ways to resolve this issues with him. I know is very painful but do not overreact. Good luck dear.
ReplyDeleteStella's red pen on point today.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Forgive him nd give him another chance
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Leave dat unserious guy nd move on with ur life,don't waste ur time with him
Poster 1 this sounds like my hubby.
ReplyDeleteWhat can I add? Stella don talk am finish. Oya posters, you know what to do.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 : is ur ex's name Isaac E? If yes, run o.
ReplyDeletePoster one snooping is all shades of wrong. Poster 2 ask him in strong terms if he's not serious leave him biko. Never visit him as he may prey on your emotions and sleep with you
ReplyDeletehmmm...ibk God bless u for ur post on ihn today
ReplyDeleteGod bless u too
Deleteabeg ehn kidjo wetin u dey feel like sef..read ur comment on ihn today and I just smh.woodpecker mouth.ugly girl
ReplyDeleteposter one : you decided to snoop fair enough but remember those couples that celebrate 30 years of marriage did not give up after little things or do you think there hubby didn't cheat at a point? my own hubby like looking at womens boobs and bum but doesn't have a mind of cheating. before i used to be angry but now i even help him to look for bog boobs and bum or call him to come and look and we both laugh it off. if you say you are leaving a country because its raining there, is it not going to rain more in other countries? so babe chillax, marriage will always come with up and down. be blind and deaf if you want to enjoy your marriage and dont push your hubby out. the fact that he called her in your presence means he respect you .marriage is a school on its own where you can never graduate
ReplyDelete😂😂😂😂😂 I love u...u call him and u will look together...I thought I was d only one doing that
Deleteon chronicle 1, this woman is being over dramatic. like the fuck?? you women keep yapping about men being overprotective and jealous when they see you with male friends. Now what the fuck is wrong with a nigga texting his female friend that he misses her?? are u that perverted that u think when one is friends with the opposite sex that some "sexual interaction" must be involved?? come on!! he swore there was/is nothing between them, and you're here writing one stupid chronicle based on suspicion, someone you wrote about in this same chronicle saying you never thought he would cheat on you.. why don't u calmly ask him what's up with him and the girl instead of overreacting? btw, i agree with Stella's advice.. i think you're being too self centered..
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Pls 4give ur husband.sit him down and rub minds with him.let him understand that your marriage is still very young to start having issues like this,and also if there's anything that you are not doing right that warrants him cheating on you,you will put in your best to be that person he wants you to be.be subtle.believe me,he will retrace his steps and forever hold you in high esteem.i know snooping is one of the worst thing to do but sometimes is good to satisfy your conscience most especially when you suspect something fishy.have been there before .my chronicled is more than 100 episodes.@sdk will send it soon.
ReplyDeletePoster 2. I can see u still have feelings for that guy ,that's why you've decided to stay put like a toy that you are.
Firstly he decided to break up with u without any gud reason. as if that's not enough.
Secondly he told you that he just want you guys to be friends 😳 .friends for what ? Friends of benefits?And u are here sending chronicle if you should go visit him or not?you had better borrow yourself brain. The guy still misses your punani.that's the reasons why he wants u guys to remain as friends so he can have it anytime he wants and he knows quite well that u enjoy it anytime he gives it to you.pls keep distance with him.
Poster 1, if he is rich, forgive him. If he is not, dump the evil cheater. Just one year in marriage, he has started cheating. What happens when the stress and pressure of having kids and taking care of them set in? There are many sexually transmitted deceases outside. You need to have children, so you cannot protect yourself.
ReplyDeleteAsk your self this questions and then decide what to do:
Is this man contributing positively in my life?
Does he give me the joy I desire in marriage?
If no, then leave before a child comes.
If you want to stay married stay away from this blog! As much as I love this blog, your marriage will suffer for it. I am tired of marriage. I think it is getting outdated. Men should stop getting married because when there is a divorce, we loose most. Baby mama's are better. If she had been his girlfriend, she won't have reacted the way she did. And again, this portrays my point that women are generally the worst perpetrators of domestic violence. Even Stella just casually talked about it. Imagine if it was a guy that snooped on his wife's phone and slaps her. All hell will be let loose! Most women are hypocrites
ReplyDeleteThe second lady, that man wants to use you to hold body. Maybe his fiancé is out of town. Borrow some sense and create a space for other men to come in, stop wasting your time.
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you sound like you married your first boyfriend because if them don chop your eyes well, you won't vouch for a man.
ReplyDeleteYou gotta learn to keep your emotions in check. Next time you see such, ask him calmly. Whatever his response is, just reply with "Okay oh". No anger, nothing.
He'd sit up, provided he has a conscience.
Sorry baby. Forgive him and let go
Poster 2, oloriibu ni bobo yen o.
Take your mind off any possibility of getting married to him.
If his dick game is good, just keep fucking him without emotions. Don't keep in touch if he doesn't. You'll see how he'd almost kill himself. lol.
Get yourself a real man too. Don't "west" time.
Stella, my love, this your advice about her asking the man what he finds attractive in the lady na nonsense question. So, for example, if her husband cheats with a woman with a very big breast, while hers is small, she should condone and go for surgery abi?
ReplyDeleteWell just as men think they have reason to cheat, we women also have reasons to cheat.
#If you blame your problems on others, you become powerless*
ReplyDeletePoster one: you got what you set out when you snooped.
ReplyDeletePoster two: both of you are confused.
Poster 1, forgive and forget. Shit happens.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, if you decide to go, get ready for this and that.
Poster two Stella has said it all.
ReplyDeletePoster one follow what Stella said
ReplyDeletePoster 1. I have no advice for you. I'm sure ure one of those women that sing all men cheat. So, now that it's happening to you and you've seen how painful it is, deal with it. I don't feel sorry for women any more.
ReplyDelete2. I'm in a similar situation as you. Ex broke up with me and went back to his other ex but stills reaches out to me and wants to be around me. Such guys only want to have their cake and eat it too. They'd settle for a friends with benefits arrangement if you're up for it. At the end of the day, we are the ones who lose in the end. I'd bet my left arm in your case that your ex is seeing someone else. Investigate, you'd find out this is true.
Sometimes, we want to believe if we act mature and remain friends with them, we'd be able to show them what they are missing and thus get them back but that's nonsense. You must cut off all communication and hang outs with him if you want to move on. It's very hard when you still have feelings for the person but if you love yourself, you will be wise and do what you have to do. Let him go. A better one will come.
Poster 1 let me be sincere with you having being married for over 25 years. If you are truly ready for marriage and you love this man, please put on your endurance hat. Shit like this will happen at intervals OK? Its only after a while, like my Oga did that he will stop but for now forgive and move on but expect it to happen again. Most times circumstances beyond their control makes them do stuff. Its part of marriage and the institution. Just keep calm but forgive him as long as he isn't a serial cheat who does it to your face and please, HOLD YOUR MAN O. If you didnt snoop you wouldn't have known. Truth is, There isn't a better one outside. I wish you wisdom.
ReplyDeletePoster 1; personally I don't agree with Stella, one year into the marriage. He's displaying such antics. Don't be relax. This is how they start little by little. Fortify your household with prayers, please don't be Complacence. These girls are looking to devour any man especially married ones. Don't start, giving up yet. This is a battle you must win. 1 year into the marriage abeg break him free with prayers. All that slapping you're doing, haaaaaaa that I don't know ooo. DV. It's very wrong anyway from man and woman
ReplyDeletePoster 2: your Ex is being extremely sneaky, if nothing else stay away from him for that exact reason. He doesn't want to date you but still treating you like a "girlfriend" oloshi. Next thing is you will get is an invitation to his wedding. Hian!!!!!run away. He depriving you from moving forward
Poster 1. Forgive Poster 2....he's indirectly making you his side chick so don't answer him
ReplyDeleteI think dis recession is bringing confusion in everything called relationship o...
ReplyDelete