STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
AS VERSUS AS COUPLE FACE ISH
Good day Stella,
Please I need advice before I do something silly.
While I was dating my husband those years, we never talked about genotype, then one time I decided to go for the test just to know my genotype. I went and was told I am AS! Since then I became scared to mention it to him cos I wasn't sure what his would be. Luckily for me I stumbled on his documents and all read AA as his genotype...
I was very happy at that moment that I summoned courage to tell him about mine being AS. Years passed by and we decided to get married lastyear. After our traditional marriage, i got pregant and we fixed our registry marriage immediately.
The week of our registry marriage, they were asked to do another medicals at his place of work which he did, we got the shocker of our lives when his genotype came out as AS!!! The result came a day to our registry marriage...with sadness in our hearts, we went ahead with the marriage and was hoping and praying the child I am carrying comes out healthy. Now the problem is I am almost due and I am very scared, I fear I might birth an SS baby. Hubby has been really really sad about the whole that 2days ago we had an argument and he poured out his mind and told me I think its easy to stay with an AS woman knowing fully well he's AS too?
That I shld pray this baby comes out healthy else we part ways that's its not been easy for him not to think abt the situation. Just this morning, he threatened to inform our family members about the situation cos I told him I will kill myself if he keeps suffering me for what we didn't do intentionally.
Bvs, I am so confused right now, I sincerely do not know what to do, does it mean I'll lose my almost 1yr marriage? Will I birth and SS child being the fact that this is my first issue? Will I be able to live with the fact that hubby wants me to keep appreciating the fact that he's still in the marriage despite the situation, he doesn't want me to complain abt his late nights and attitude as that makes him forget any his problems...
But how do I overlook him keeping late nights and Probably hanging out with girls just becos we r AS couple?
Please Advice me. Right now I am 8months gone ...I am sooo scared!!! *crying*
Thank you.
Please Advice me. Right now I am 8months gone ...I am sooo scared!!! *crying*
Thank you.
Eeeyaaa
ReplyDeleteI pray your baby comes out AA
It is Well
WOMAN TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF AND DNT THINK TOO MUCH PLEASE..........p.s....Stella abeg when is singlemingle abi what is it called.. Loll, my body is jus doing me to participate and hopefully I will get a correct boo cos life in this abroad without a boo is boring . I don tire
DeletePray n pray
DeleteI know someone that have 3 boys n they are AA n As
Him n wify AS
That 1 in a billion luck
Very likely your child will be AS but d 2nd n 3rd not sure
Madam, if your baby comes out AS or AA, please leave that marriage sharply if not you will end up miserable for life!
DeleteBabe, no stress yourself for the sake of your pregnancy and be positive. Faith alone does miracles. Tell yourself that your baby is AA. Speak to your unborn child and prophesy positive things. I wish you are carrying more than one baby so your hubby can relax. I feel him and know it's not easy. Tell him to go for another test in another place. Pray first. That AS is a mistake. Remove doubt from your mind cos na the devil handwork be that. Good luck
DeleteLemme perch here and give my 2cents.
DeleteWoman, you Ned to pull yourself together. You are both emotionally blackmailing each other and it is soooo wrong.
You, with talks of suicide and him with threats of leaving the marriage.
And I blame you! Why? Because you have made the man feel indispensable. You have made him feel your desperation to hold on to the marriage.
Unless there is more to this story but if it is as you have said, then you BOTH decided to enter into the marriage and should act like adults here. Yes, it is painful but this is where maturity comes in and if the man cannot step up and act like one, then you need to focus on yourself and your baby and forget about him.
Oh, and him threatening to tell family is shady. Why would he threaten that? Did you force him in anyway? Did he find out you'd his stuff from him cos I am even thinking you're the one that should do any threatening here is you'd actually told him about your AS status beforehand.
See, men respect women who stand up to them. Do not cower. Tell him you are tired and as much as you want your baby to be with the father but if he is going to abandon them later based on this, you would rather leave and do it on your own from the onset. Do you know how you will feel to know he rejects his own blood because of this? Let him know that you too can.blame him if you wanted but you chose not to coa the deed has already been done.
Be bold...call him and discuss all the above. Calmly. Rationally. Boldly. Tell him to make up his mind if he wants to build the marriage and be a father , if not, you are ready to move on. That you and youe baby will not diw but that if this ia the kind of marriage he wants , thwn you want no part of it. Tell him you are not ashamed of your baby or anything.Then inform your parents... Start with your mum. You deserve love and support at this time and not such BS...
Women, stop making men feel like they are doing you a favor marrying
you. It leads to all these kind of stuff. Married for 13 and never have to experience such before I know my value and hubby knows it too. You cannot threaten me with divorce becasue i will be quick to let you know that marriage is not taking anyone to heaven. what is that?
You have posted this story before now
ReplyDeleteWe've read this before Stella
Delete*Larry was here*
In the comments section
DeleteI wonder oh! She never hear wetin she want
DeleteThe mistake has been made!
ReplyDeletePray, let the baby come out without d SS gene.
Cos if the child comes out SS, his late nights won't be d only thing that will bother you.
He will probably abandon she and the baby
DeleteYour husband is an emotional blackmailer. Chances of having a healthy child is very high in first pregnancies. It's the 2nd u have to worry about. I'm almost certain this one will be fine. It's not easy o I lost my sis and favorite cousin to sicke cell.
DeleteChai,
DeleteYour husband is a mean man. How dare he put all the man on you like you brought this on him.
ReplyDeleteI'm so unhappy right now.
I can't imagine the heartache you're going through at this stage that you need all the love and attention despite the issue on ground.
Geez I am angry
It is well poster
DeleteAngry at what? Its mostly the women that suffer it so she should have used her head and dragged his ass to the lab instead of snooping and discovering a favorable result to suit them. So if the church did not run a test na so una go born pikin with SS. Most men are always quick to move on when stuff like this happen. And why should we still be talking about SS kids in this era? It doesnt make any sense.
DeletePoster, your husband waka should be the least of your concern. You will handle that angle when you birth your baby and its okay. For now forget that matter and focus.
Thank you! She went into this with her two eyes wide open.
DeleteExactly!! Because of desperation to be called MRS, you intentionally put your hands in fire, mtcheew. Why didn't u inform him the moment u knew u are AS so that u two can visit the hospital and run a test with your two eyes, (with this his current attitude I am certain he would have called the marriage off at that point) instead u kept quiet and believed in a framed up result u saw loitering around the house. Anyways, just put yourself together to avoid HBP(whch is very dangerous while Preggy) , whatever genotype u give birth to either AS or SS, carry your bags and leave if u do not want to live a life of misery!! The truth is bitter, buh it's still the truth.
DeleteExactly!! Because of desperation to be called MRS, you intentionally put your hands in fire, mtcheew. Why didn't u inform him the moment u knew u are AS so that u two can visit the hospital and run a test with your two eyes, (with this his current attitude I am certain he would have called the marriage off at that point) instead u kept quiet and believed in a framed up result u saw loitering around the house. Anyways, just put yourself together to avoid HBP(whch is very dangerous while Preggy) , whatever genotype u give birth to either AS or SS, carry your bags and leave if u do not want to live a life of misery!! The truth is bitter, buh it's still the truth.
Deletewhat do you mean because of Mrs? u are a woman, unmarried, and in ur 30s. so bitter no man will marry u go and be feminist joor.
DeleteDear Poster I believe in miracles.... you should too. And just so u know love is hard work. Cheers!
ReplyDelete#My case is different
See poster,my parents are both AS and my siblings and i are AA. What do you say about that? Have faith dear, you ll birth a healthy baby
DeleteR u sure ur father is urs!
DeleteSo you want to kill your self because of a man?...
ReplyDeleteThis life wey dey sweet like honey...
Na wah for some women oh!...
Nothing in this life will make me kill my self instead,I will look for a means to make my self happy!...
Poster,the faults is from you!...you were so desperate to answer a mrs that's why you forgot to carry this your husband to do a test before getting married to him?...
Have you guys gone to another hospital for the test?...
See,no need lying to you,if truly both of you are AS,your chances of having a SS is high!...
You better start praying oh!...
Infact,start by using a pigeon on that your husband's head!..
Who is this maggot? Is that your "word" of encouragement?
Delete@Poster, have faith that you'll birth AA or even AS. Let go & let God do it for you.
Hahaha... Queen Queen, you too like Pigeon.
DeleteMiracles do happens just have faith even if it is small like mustard seed
DeleteI don't like you at all. Evil woman
DeleteYou are stupid! Please get your brain out of your anus before talking! Idiot!
DeleteHer major problem is how to control the husband given the situation. Why should you bother about how a man chooses to live his life doing the things that makes him happy? Are you his mother babysitting him or are you the one paying the house rent?
DeleteConclusion:- Ur manipulative bitchy tendencies have brought you this far and you didn't seek any counselling from here through that path. Go and finish what you stated.
Bye Felicia.
But she will be called gwegs na, abi?
Delete@queen she told her husband she was AS after seeing his documents stating he's AA so it wasnt her fault.thing is now i dont get why her husband is blaming her kind of and taking out the issues on her like she caused it. The man is mean. She's the one carrying the child so i believe she is hurting the most and not him. Very selfish man. Poster if youre lucky you will have an AS baby but chances of having an SS baby is very high. No one can tell you it isn't. That will be a lie. If you do have an SS baby,take care of him of her best you can ans take queens advice about what to do for your husband cos if that baby ends up being SS,he will abandon you both
DeleteCyndy,
DeleteGwegz is from 40 years up!...meanwhile,is it not better she is called gwegz than these trauma she is going through?
Trinny,I mean both of them are suppose to do the test before getting married...
Hahahahahaha Boss lady,..
DeleteDey there Pigeon is a life saver!....
Anonymous with anger towards queen, we all used to feel dt way until some of us began to see the fun side of her. she is harmless and create a lot of fun here.
Delete@Queen I must confess, u made sense this time around but will she knack pigeon on his head when he is never home
DeleteMadam please, For the sake of that baby.. Stop worrying.
ReplyDeleteStop getting agitated. You need to be strong for you and baby. Every other person or issue right now should be shelved.
You are almost due.. High blood pressure is one of the many killers during preganancy and child birth and we don't want that.
At this point, you need to prepare your mind but hope for the best.
Miracles do happen Ma'am, just know that whatever happens.. you and your hubby must care for nwa biara uwa(your baby)
So be strong, I wish you safe delivery.💕💕
Just ask God for a healthy child and he will answer you. Remove fear from your mind
ReplyDeleteThis your tory reek of small lies. You stumbled on his documents and saw AA, during your registry, it read AS. Okay! When they ask you people to go check your status before anything proper. Una no go gree but choose to write sorry tales later. You are already in the gobe na so deal with it. Goodluck!
ReplyDelete@ Sandy Necky, shit happens. I have friends a couple. When they were to get married, they had a test done at one of the most reputable places in abuja Nig. Institute For Pharmaceutical research. Very tech then. When the test results came out, the lady was AA and the man AS. No problems. They got married, it was when they had their 2nd child and he was always sick that they found out he was SS. How come? they went to do another test and were told that they were both AS. Too late. So anything can happen. You can't blame the guy. If he wasn't expecting AS there won't have been a reason to do another test.
DeleteThe poster should pray and hope for the best.
Come back with you testimony.
Honestly we need to be careful they were not open to themselves at all
DeleteMy dear we can only pray ooo
ReplyDeleteYou just keep reminding God that there is nothing he cannot do while you do that please brace yourself maybe God is using this situation to point out the kind of man you married because if he treats you like this at this most sensitive stage in your life imagine when you are strong...
My dear pull yourself together and pray, God is still in the business of answering prayers remember if there is a man to pray there is a God to answer severe prayers my dear *war room things* also pray for God to touch the heart of the man u married please cool down, take care for your baby
Haba...people in this part of the world can make simple things look complex..you love each other...cool..you both AS....cool.
ReplyDeleteGo adopt a child and love him like you would love the one directly from you....poster relax okay? For every problem there is a solution....you can adopt if you both decide to stay together...
Research has made it possible to know your child's genotype before it comes( from the 10th week of pregnancy) and options are made available assuming the genotype is SS.
ReplyDeleteYou and your husband can decide on what you really want to do in terms of having kids and depending on where you are, doctors should guide you. The deed has already been done. You just have to do whatever it takes to have at least one healthy child.
I hope the poster reads this. I know three AS couples who have no sicklar.
DeleteStart praying now tell God how you want it and sow a seed of faith... He is a Miracle worker..your first child can turn out to be AA.
ReplyDeleteWell no need to trade blames. Go to the Hospital and tell the Doctors your case. There are some tests you should have done or can still do. You must speak to your nurse and consultant at your Ante natal appointments.
ReplyDeleteIgnore your husband. He's handling the matter best way he can. Now you do the needful. And yes pray. Best regards and Goodluck.
You were just too desperate madam.even if you found out his genotype was same as yours,i put it to you that you won't have let go.shebi you've married your price charming albeit all the problems you saw coming?oya carry your cross now.
ReplyDeleteSeriously desperation on the rise
DeleteSending e-hug your way dear.
ReplyDeleteKeep your faith alive and do not beat yourself up for this, I pray your baby isn't SS, you both can work on the next pregnancies to avoid conceiving SS. But if it happens that this first is SS, your hubby might become more bitter, distant and impossible to work with. You might have to give him space first, if he doesn't come back for you then you guys are over.
Its a hard truth, but I am wishing it turns out to favor you
MrsBee
Poster if you kill yourself,your husband will be so glad to bring his mistress on d day of your burial oo. They will both dance with beer on top of your grave. ehen if he tells his family members about d predicament,what is your own.no b himself he dey disgrace!Better brace yourself and talk 2 God about it then cross your heart 2 what you will give birth to...wetin don happen don happen.
ReplyDeleteTrue she should act mature and with wisdom
Deleteposter re do the test I 2more places. genotype can be tricky. Dr O
DeleteWe don read this matter be now
ReplyDelete*Before
DeleteMy dear, my heart breaks for you for what you're going through at this critical stage of your life. A time when you should be glowing and joyful has turned to this anxiety filled moment. And your hubby isn't making matters easy, even though his feelings are legitimate, he's being selfish about it. I'm so, so sorry for your pain.
ReplyDeleteI pray your baby is AA. I pray Jesus gives you that miracle and that The Holy Spirit convicts your husband of the errors of his ways so he repents.
E-hugs dear.
Your hubby has no right to threaten you,both of you make the mistake from the beginning. May God perfect all that concerns you.
DeleteThis man doesn't love you one bit.
ReplyDeleteTake it or leave it.
You better start making up your mind. If the baby comes out SS, try and find other ways to make yourself happy.
Your hubby is not a good guy at all.
ReplyDeleteYou are crying for what? Take it to God in prayers and watch him perform miracles in your life. You can also sow a seed based on this to an orphanage or make a sacrifice either to your church or the less privilege and see God give you a testimony.
ReplyDeleteBecause of man you want to kill yourself. Abegi! Better pray that SS gene doesnt come up as a first kid cos I tell you, you will not even remember your husband when kasala starts. Yeah its that bad. Very bad. The sooner you know all the better for you both.
ReplyDeleteBetter run to a reputable laboratory and get a third result.
This SS of a thing is supposed to be a thing of the past but no, it keeps exceeding past numbers when our folks were ignorant.
Couples should always endeavour to know the genotype of their parents if we may start from there. From your parents, you will be able to deduce what you are or what you might be.
Poster, you claim you stumbled on a result ( I sincerely doubt that part of your story, I am sorry). You hid your own result because you assumed you both were okay. And you allowed the friendship to blossom to marriage. Now see the end result. Its only if you are AA should you be least concerned about issues like this. At least to a certain extent. Na the pikin wey fit enter one chance I pity.
Yes I agree...she didn't stumble on no result.
DeleteExactly they were never open to themselves let them do another test to confirm
DeleteI believe in what only God can do and your situation is not difficult for God to handle. Believe God to give you babies that aren't SS. It's very possible dear.
ReplyDeleteWhile at that, you just need to keep your mind from being disturbed by your husband's inconsiderate attitude and focus on yourself and you unborn baby cos you don't want to have issues with your health. Cheers 😘, it is well.
The both of you were so stupid to think that love can conquer all... My dear bear this cross... By the way your husband is a stupid man
ReplyDeleteSofree sofree with insults now. They weren't open to themselves at all.let Dem do anoda test
DeleteThe deed has been done but I feel you leave a lot of things to chances, assumptions and hoping God will right your wrong like many people out there dating. The genotype issue was left until it was late and the pressure was high. You and hubby are too immature for marriage. After you guys decide to go ahead with the marriage why didn't you make wide medical consultation. Again you immediately went ahead to start having babies. And now 8months into the pregnancy you now looking for a miracle without being practical. Well my honest advice to you is this. If you both attend a church. Approach your pastor or an elderly,experience educated couple for counselling and also get a medical consultant to give you professional advice. And make sure it's only the pastor or the elderly couple knows about it so that you don't become the topic in church and keep it that way. Going to your families may escalate the whole thing. Independent support and advice is the best in this situation without sentiments or taking sides.
ReplyDeleteShe was already pregnant during the registry wedding. And she mentioned she summoned courage to tell him she's AS after seeing he was AA so he was told. Go back and read
Delete@Trini no need to come back and read.at least this is proactive advice for both of them.
Delete@Trinity ...if you read my first comment I said the deed has already been done but seems she is still leaving things to chances. But the latter part of my comment was my humble advice.
DeleteDdnt we see this chronicle just this week??????
ReplyDeleteA very sad story... I pray God gives you a positive surprise... But in all your faith is not strong and you never mentioned God in your story... Have faith and believe..even if it's SS is not too late for my God to do his magic
ReplyDeleteInstead of worrying, turn to God. My parents are both AS. They have 4 children. I am AA, 2 of my siblings are AS while the last is AC. There's no history of AC genotype in the family but God did it. They realized late just like you but instead of worrying they cried to God.
ReplyDeleteGod can do all things. He will give you a testimony too. AMEN
Hmm this AC genotype who fit explain this thing to me
Deletehi dear , i and my hubby are boyh As although we live in UK, when we had our first baby , they offered us CVS to check the baby's genotype but we declined because its a bit painful and 50% chance of miscarriage. to God be the glory our son came out as As. now we decided to do CVS for every pregnancy i have until we have another healthy baby and thats it . 2 children are enough mbok. mind you mine came as As doesn't mean yours will come as As, you can have either AA , AS or ss. every pregnancy comes with a 25% chance of having ss child not like people think that your first or second will. anytime you are pregnant you have a 50% chance. i will advise you that if you can afford doing CVS then check every pregnancy but if not prayyyyyyyyyyyto God to make rhis baby a healthy one and go separate ways with your hubby. ss child are manageable here abroad better than naija. i pray it com out as beat for you
ReplyDeleteGo to 3 different labs and repeat the test with your husband. It could have been a mistake which happens all the time. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteMy grandma and grandpa were both As gave birth to my mum As, mum married dad As and gave birth to 4 of us, 3AS and 1AA. It has happened remove your mind from it, all your kids will be healthy by the grace of God.
ReplyDelete#Be careful what you say to people because only some actually care, most people are just curious*
ReplyDeleteI dey feel you st frankool are u aka one trillion
DeleteMe and my husband are AS' and we dont have any sickle cell kids! (Thanks to God). We both knew before getting married bt we did consult our Doctor' and thanks to improvement in the medical world.
ReplyDeleteYou can do a chorionic villus sampling test at 16wks to determine the genotype of your baby. When the results comes out you can determine if you guys want to keep the baby or not.
You can also do a cord blood banking, were they would store you placenta and cord tissue cells' should incase you give birth to a sickle cell child and need a bone martow transpant. The placenta and cord tissue cells are known to have millions of useful cells that help in curing 100's of diseases.
You can self read about the choirionic villus sampling (cvs) and also about the cord blood banking. I store mine with a company called cord blood registry, its a company in San Bruno, California. You can also go to their web page and read about it. www.cordblood.com
Is it free? Or you will fund the procedure for them?
DeleteThat was then we need to be careful and not take chances and start calling God
DeleteAS, AA, SS are all children. My elder sister is 44yrs old now and she is SS. She has 2 sons and she is living very happily (although she can get sick sometimes). In fact she takes the lead in taking care of our Mum. Pays our mums travel expenses to America / Uk and back to Naija every year without fail, needless to talk of monetary support she extends to the family. My point is, Please don't look down on SS kids. I understand we shouldn't pray for our children to be sickly but if it happens you should accept it with thanks to God. when the child comes your husband will be blown away with love for the child. its wrong that he is treating you the way he is but I feel he is just using it as an excuse for other underlying issues he has or to get his freedom to hangout late and avoid dealing with a woman who has her pregnancy hormones issues.
ReplyDeleteOz
Ogini kwanu?Nne you posted this a few days ago na.
ReplyDeleteDont worry Efebaba will win. I am also tensed up. I put 8maggi cubes in a very small pot of stew i was "cocking"earlier on. I dint know till i saw the wraps and tasted the stew small thing e for become salty. Thank God i dint add salt.my salt always comes last.
Meanwhile poster just pray to God for a miracle, God is still in the business of miracles, he might just shame the devil.
*hangs leg on the wall*
Lol Efever dey worry you.sofree sofree cool mind.Efe go win u hear lol
DeleteThe probability of you having a child that is SS is 25%, AS is 50 % and AA is 25%, so you might be lucky to have a child that is AS or AA.
ReplyDeletePoster nothing on earth good comes easily, if what you wrote is the truth, then you need to be strong, fear, crying and blame will not solve anything rather build up your faith.
ReplyDeleteWoman where is your faith, who has the final say in your life, what do you believe? Who is your father, who gave you that baby, who is the giver and maker of human? Oh my goodness some of us do no understand who we are in Christ, you think the devil is happy to see you making it or being pregnant? You better declared what you want to see, you can not take off that baby, you need to take up your request, wish, hope, complain to Him alone that gives children. Do not let your husband's attitude distract you, let him be for now, pray, go on your knees, build up your faith, read supernatural child birth, hold onto God's word you will share your testimony soon.
Yes but she took chances and now calling God? Hmmm she should be mature and act with wisdom
Deletethere's nothing to worry about if your blood group or your husband is o+
ReplyDeleteIt is well. Just keep praying.
ReplyDeleteI think you advice that he go for the test in another hospital entirely. There might be a mix up
ReplyDeleteIt is well, Dear give ur life to Jesus Christ, go to Mfm/ redeem camps and call on God, key into the anointing on the altars. Tune to channel 349- Dove TV for pastor Adeboye's teachings and believe God. U will be amazed at ur miracles. My 2 cents for u. I see u dance into ur miracles. Stop worrying hand it over to the Aberdeen bearer - Jesus Christ.shalom
ReplyDeleteHello poster. I was once in your shoes and Stella posted my chronicle sometime May or June last year about AS and AC palava. We birthed our damsel on the 1st of January this year and she has been a bundle of joy. She is very strong and very healthy. Please take it to God in prayer. There is nothing God cannot do. I was introduced to MFM by my friend and I can say authoritatively that God answers prayers. Believe in God. Infact pray and commit your unborn child into the hands of God every day morning, afternoon and night, and your baby will never come out SS. Even at the eleventh hour God can still replace terrible situation to Good one, that is if it is likely to be SS. You will not have SS. That is my believe in God but next time try and seek the face of God more, Check the foetus genotype if you want to many children and if you can afford it and speak confidently about this to your husband and everyone that SS will never come near your territory.
ReplyDeleteHello poster. I was once in your shoes and Stella posted my chronicle sometime May or June last year about AS and AC palava. We birthed our damsel on the 1st of January this year and she has been a bundle of joy. She is very strong and very healthy. Please take it to God in prayer. There is nothing God cannot do. I was introduced to MFM by my friend and I can say authoritatively that God answers prayers. Believe in God. Infact pray and commit your unborn child into the hands of God every day morning, afternoon and night, and your baby will never come out SS. Even at the eleventh hour God can still replace terrible situation to Good one, that is if it is likely to be SS. You will not have SS. That is my believe in God but next time try and seek the face of God more, Check the foetus genotype if you want to many children and if you can afford it and speak confidently about this to your husband and everyone that SS will never come near your territory.
ReplyDeleteThat is one selfish man. Your baby will most likely not carry the gene and besides worrying will not change anything. AS or SS, this is one marriage were you are bound to be unhappy. #prayerchangesthings
ReplyDelete