Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative..

Hmmmm...

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE

ABOUT TO BREAK UP WITH HER BECAUSE LIFE SUCKS

Good day Madam Stella,


My name is Tunde and am an ardent reader and visitor of your blog though i stay in the shadows (am the shy type). My chronicle try long small so please bear with me and i hope for a positive feedback from fellow bvs.


I met my girlfriend after i just concluded my Nysc and was on my way back to Lagos 2 years ago. We were both in the same bus albeit on different seats. I caught a glimpse of her and just thought casually that she looked good (seemed to have made that a habit on my travels, looking for pretty girls in the bus) but i didn't think to much of it as at that time (i was just there with my earpiece and music).

 On one of our stops, we both entered the same shop to purchase something to drink and i offered to pay for her. She had a very lovely smile and her eyes were the type i liked, big and cute looking like that of all these animate characters. We got talking and found out she went to see her aunt back in her state and was returning Lagos. Funny enough, where she stays wasn't far from where i was before, so i thought all well and good. We exchanged numbers when she alighted from the bus on our arrival in Lagos and parted.


Am actually very bad when in comes to keeping in touch through calls and messages so i didn't reach out for a long time, not until one faithful day when i was scrolling through my contacts looking for connections who can help with securing a job and i came across her number. I called her to know how she was and we spoke for close to 15 minutes. It was odd and new to me (my highest phone conversation then was like 3 mins, after i just cut the call even if you are still talking). So it kind of felt nice and she has this really lovely voice. Over time it continued that way and with chats on BBM, we kinda started growing fond of each other.


She was in a relationship then and so was I (well i think i was) but we started paying more attention to each other than our partners. The thing is we never saw each other after our first encounter till like almost a year reason being that i didn't have any means for a meet (no money for Mr. Biggs or cinema). I couldn't secure a job after my service so finance was little to non and i spent most of my days hustling to just make ends meet. My family is just average, we only have what can sustain on a day by day and nothing more (so shout-out to my parents for not kicking me out of the house).


Fortunately, I got a job after all my struggles though the pay was nothing to write home about and i thought ok, now is the time to make it official with Grace (the girl i met on the bus) since I knew i was loving her and she was loving me too but we were just too shy to say anything to each other. I asked her out on a date and while we were together, I summoned the courage and asked her to be my gf which she said yes to. I was extremely glad and in my mind nothing could go wrong (little did i know that life was just looking at me with that Kanayo O. Kanayo meme expression).


Getting to know ourselves better, i found out that beyond the outward beauty, she also possessed a lovable character, let me just summarize it as "take home to mama" kind of girl. Nice, loveable, loyal (to a fault) and the rest. She stubborn die i must admit but i still love her like that. Also found out about her background.She lost her dad while she was young and things were not at all bright for her and her mum. She told me all her struggles and i could relate cause her story was almost identical to mine in many ways. We bonded more on that front but now am thinking if it should have been so.


Things went from bad to worse on her side till the point were daily bread became non existent. House rent due, school fees (she is still in school) due, her moms shop rent...due. She was down and out and whatever she tried to come up with in terms of a trade, it's either no money to finance it or it didn't just work out. I did what i could for her even though my own case sef was not different ontop my minimum wage equivalent.I started to borrow from outside promising to pay back just to support her in whatever way i could but last last it told on me. I lost my job eventually (even ontop the managing) and i was back to square one. Days would come where she would call and be crying about her problems at home and how life is being unfair, seeing that she has never experienced a point were all things would go well for herself and her mum. Me sef would have to form strong and be consoling even when my own bukata (problems) don double join with no one to turn too.


It got so bad one day when she called and was crying seriously and after I asked what the matter was, she told me she got into a fight with her mum cause the mom was (let me say speaking out of frustration) lambasting her as to why she cannot be dating men that can help them in terms of finances but instead she keeps following one small boy that cannot offer anything or change their situation (see my life outside). She told her mum off and said she wasn't going to tow that line. This is a girl who is always content with what i give her, though not much. She has never complained or whined about anything and she has never cheated (yup, tested and proven). 

So it really hit me low and i started having the feeling that her mum might be right.


Since then i have been having thoughts of ending the relationship being that truly i cannot help her situation and she deserves waaay better than what i can offer. Let me just leave so that she can concentrate on another who will love her and have the means to provide for her. Cause i have tried to setup businesses and apply for jobs all to no avail. She loves me to a fault and i do too but rational and realistic thinking just goes for the option of a split,even now that we are joking around the concept of ending up married in the nearest future (but seriously, how we won take survive plus children join).


This is hurting me deeply and i don't know what else to do, so please I strongly need advice as she is already noticing the change in my attitude towards everything and I am stuck between crossroads.

*So you mean that this is the reason you want to break up?why dont you let her make that decision?

You dont have to marry immediately but dont be the one to break up before you hurt her beyond repair.

What do even mean getting a man that will help her?So you mean a relationship should be a means to an end of a financial crisis?