Hmmm.....
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
DEALING WITH A MANIPULATIVE MAN
Hello Stella, Hope you are doing good.
My story is a bit lengthy but please bear with me
My brother invited me for his friend's wedding sometime in 2014.The wedding was kind of a reunion as it comprised mostly of ex-students of the university I attended. Along the line, I got talking with this guy who was also an ex-student, was like 2 sets ahead of me and although we weren't really close back in school, it seemed he had a thing for me or so I thought.We both exchanged numbers but at that time, i really didn't want a relationship yet as I was still trying to heal from my past.
I was surprised when the next day, he called that we hook up, I felt it was early soIi said I wasn't available. A few days later, when he called again, i came up with an excuse that i was busy.After our meeting at the meeting, i had also sensed he was somewhat like an authoritative person and so I felt i needed to know him well, maybe start as being friends.
A few months after when I didnt hear from him, I reached out but the way he replied my messages made it obvious he was angry with me. The following year, I came across his profile on a dating platform and decided to contact him.he still acted cold and gave me the silent treatment. Last year (2016), he sends me a friend request and i felt he had come back to his senses.we chatted a few days after and i regularly like his posts and photos on his wall even though he never reciprocated.
Fast forward to a few days ago during the easter break, I decided to send him a message.He replied saying we needed to see asap.Everything was going on smoothly until he said we had history together after I jokingly asked him if he was still vexing with me.To me, history means there was something but in this case we never dated or anything.After asking him what he meant by history he manipulating me into answering first.I had to admit i was avoiding him then before he said he got disgusted with my attitude and that i was an a**(whatever that means) and so he got tired of contacting me.
On asking him if he had a girlfriend as he shared photos of himself with a girl some months back, he queried that it wasn't important as it wouldnt stop us from getting intimate.Things then got heated when he said i was stubborn, defensive, saying our conversations were never productive and I was to blame.This is someone that the both of us had never chatted or sat down down together to talk for even 30 mins and he was already calling me names. At this point, I started regretting reaching out to him and i was pained as I felt he was being manipulative and was playing mind games with me.i wasn't surprised though because my instincts had always told me he was that kind of person.
He sent me a message yesterday that we should meet if i was free.I asked for a suitable time and was already preparing to meet him but would you believe that up till this moment he hasn't replied me nor called.
I want to know if I am the one at fault or if this guy is even worth the wahala or I should just follow my instincts? He collected my number after our conversation but he is yet to call me.I reached out to him because we could be friends first then take it further.
I need advice because I am officially tired of the kind of guys I meet and I feel that I don't just have luck with guys. almost all of them i have had something with are never straight forward with me e.g either they are unavailable or those only after sex. I don't know what to do or am i too emotional?
Stella and BV's,please advice me, Thanks
*What exactly do you need advice for?This relationship is dead on arrival,do not even bother starting a relationship with this man
Advise on a relationship that doesnt exist?
ReplyDeleteYou sound desperate. Why are you chasing him and trying to convince us he is chasimg you. This guy has no regard for u. U will end up meeting him and he will sleep with you and dump u and u wil come bk here again. U sound a bit immature. Pls try and focu on urself
DeleteDont be desperate to get into a relationship that you know is going to hurt you. Stop reaching out to this guy, someone worthy of you with less drama will find you.
DeleteWhat can we advice you when you are not even in a relationship? Or you want to no if the guy is into you? Don't think so he just wants to eat from your honey pot and take a walk.
DeletePlease you need to go into prayers and deliverance. Some people are been possessed by water spirit or curse that they can't have anything good in their life and they will not know Untill it is too late. Look for a real church of God for deliverance .
DeleteUre just a big mumu. Grow up and have "common" sense!!! Simple
DeleteGirls / ladies with low self esteem all around town. Didn't you receive any training (at home, in school, anywhere?)
DeleteI pray God endow u with renewed sense
How old are poster?? You sound like a secondary school student
DeleteYou want advice? Well, here's one. Leave the guy alone ah ah, na by force? Face ya front. And wait for a guy that actually wants to be with you.
DeleteAdvice on what exactly
DeleteStop chasing a man darling.
ReplyDeleteStopeeeeeeeeet already and you sound desperate.
He doesn't want to date you and what you end up doing is sleeping with him for free. If it's sex you want, better get it and move on. Stop digging for lobsters.
Only God knows what she wants oooo
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteChai!Desperation at it's peak. Sote you're allowing him live rent free in your mind. Please enough of this, stop contacting him abeg; this one can't be your friend not to talk of bf or future hubby. People treat you the way you want them to. Right now you seem to think you're trash hence him treating you like one.
DeleteMust everything be a Chronicle?
ReplyDeleteCan't you just give yourself brain and quietly but quickly remove yourself from that lousy being's life for good? He is arrogant and an asshole... Since you didn't want to stay it out loud before.
Biko move on to better guys and block the mudafka! Msheww
All the chronicle I have been reading since monday has been silly. Poster just re-read what you wrote, does it even make sense to you? Doesn't it sound silly. The relationship isn't dead on arrival cus there's no relationship. As far as I am concerned this guy may even be planning his wedding with another person, he is just looking for meat to chop and he isn't even wooing you so I don't know why u are stressing. Ladies stop being over available for a man who isn't even emotionally available. As my father would say over availability isn't good.
DeleteI tiya ooo
DeleteLet a man do the chasing, they like to haunt just like a lion haunts his prey until it eats it.
ReplyDeleteWhen you reverse the role and start doing the chase, you end up getting eaten without even a sweat. Osho free is what we call it, he is not into you and it's glaring. A man who wants you will climb mountains just to see your face.
This man is not for you, be yourself and the right man will chase you until you fall for him.
Nice one Doppelganger...Dope !!!
Delete*hunt, hunts.
DeleteRead what u wrote and answer yourself
ReplyDeleteWhat is this????
Chai!my dear, pls stop being desperate...at first you were avoiding, now you are wanting...the fact that he's rejecting you is making you want him even more...he's a mind fucker (pardon my french pls)
DeleteI swear! Whats this? Chasing man as if you're being paid for it. If you be my friend ehn i will give you brain resetting slap. How will you have luck with when you sit down there and listen to rubbish from guys who have no iota of respect for you? Just shift please. If you like go and continue calling him till he removes the last bits of confidence you have in you.
DeleteBetter get over your emotions. Ive told you people that 80% of these guys have none to spare.
DeleteHonestly some pple just need to grow up. What is this really?. Rubbish chronicle. I can't be disturbing my brain on this rubbish
DeleteThe handwriting is clearly written on the wall, love. Is that the kind of guy you would want to be with? Some that will get get pissed off at the slightest provocation? Obviously, he is impatient and seems short tempered.
ReplyDeleteAlso, name calling is a sign of disrespect for you.
You dont have to be friends with someone that you will always have to thread carefully with. Just let him go. Someone that will give you peace of mind will come along.
Eayah ekpele oooo. Make i follow queen talk say go and free yourself from spirit horseband.
ReplyDeleteStop forcing yourself on him. Some men are put off in the first instance you dont give them straight answer. Am sure he is one of them like that.
Dont be emotional. You will get your own. But first go for prayers so that it wont be something is hindering you from meeting your own horseband.
girls do not throw yourselves at men; they will despise you
ReplyDeleteDo not commit to a man that has not promised marriage
do not have sex or yield to the pressure to do so
And don't meet or interact with his parents until he commits
Do not receive costly gifts if you are not sure to marry him
As for this poster, you threw yourself at him and so the despise
It's a simple thing.
ReplyDeleteYou already see clearly that he's manipulative and would cheat (going by his words that having a girlfriend wouldn't adopt you both from being intimate, as though relationship is all about sex) on you.
Please get your emotions together and allow him be
Poster, this number you are so interested in dailing is not available.
ReplyDeleteStop it.
Move on.
I don't know how u ladies don't observe people's attitude. From the look of things, you will be forcing yourself on him if at all anything happens.
Love will find you.
My dear you're not dating this guy, you already saw some traits of him being authoritative, abusive and lack manner of approach, so what again are you waiting for? Drop him like bad habit and forget you ever know him. Even when next he call, pick and if he requested for a date, tell him you're busy
ReplyDelete#RipBvOluyomi
*Larry was here*
Poster, just check the post before this one. Read it, study it, understand it and give yourself brain.
ReplyDeleteEnd time manipulation.
With what you sent here,you are just fine. Some Nigerian men have fragile ego and feels a woman should partially worship them if you deviate, then you're termed stubborn or in their own words "you too do shakara". Though some are exposed pray you meet those ones. Don't give this one a second thought he will always be a misogynist. Love yourself dearly. Peace
ReplyDeleteStella atang ama!Ukpu ma afo kop.
ReplyDeleteOh Kord! What is the meaning of this nonsense Na? Chai!.
ReplyDeleteHello TGW. 😘😘
Warris this?
ReplyDeletePoster leave him alone, ur own man Will come to u at D appropriate time.
ReplyDeleteStop trowin yhuasef at diss onserios somborri!!! No oda tostas??? God wheel profide a boo for yhu ferry soon IJN.
ReplyDeleteAren't you glad you are free from this kind of guy? Anywayz will read comments.
ReplyDeleteYou already know the responses you'll get here, which is to keep moving on till God gives you your own man. It is well.
ReplyDeleteWhy are you so attached to this guy wey no send you?...
ReplyDeleteIs he the only man asking you out?...
Don't you have guys chyking you?...me as a married woman have hundreds of them!...
Infact,there is no day I go out that atleast five men won't ask me out...
Why can't you as a single babe attract one?...
Are you FAT and short?,..even FAT and short babes attracts people like Keke men and bus drivers!...
Go for a deliverance abeg!...this thing is not normal..
Moreover,this your guy acts like a scorpio...
RUN and stop talking to him!...
To be short nd fat is it a crime. Itk
DeleteQueen i'll like to fuck you real good if you don't mind..nd Yes i'm a fuckin rich nigga too
DeleteMust you be the one to contact him first can't he do otherwise,you are sounding desperate and I know you will debunk the claim,just leave the asshole and dont bother being friend with him talkmore of a relationship.
ReplyDeleteThe man is too wraped up in himself to see beyond his pride and ego....berra do yourself a favour and dump his mean bom bom....with a man like this you can say bye bye to peace of mind..joy ..love and everything else that makes a friendship or relationship thrive....he has nothing to offer anyone...all he wants is woman that'll bow and worship the ground he walks on and if you so much as argue about anything...he'll tell you aint the submissve type..Nne scram!!!!
ReplyDeleteLadies learn to be with a man that respects u and treat u like a queen, u don't need to be desperate looking for love and respect, the guy has no respect for u, no regards for u, move on.
ReplyDeleteI'm sorry to say but I am disgusted, this shouldn't even be a chronicle. What do you need to hear? Forget about him, he's already showing signs. What else do you need? And that's no relationship, situationship or friendship either, please cut off from him. He's going to drain "your energy".
Delete#positivevibesonly#
No relationship here now, he's not even askin 4 relationship, broda wants 2 lash u Nd look front,,
ReplyDeleteAv met guys like dis,,,all dey want is ur body, dey dnt want relationship, delete him abeg,..
And stop giving urself problem, it's not every guy dat says hi 2 u dat wants 2 court u,,..mo ti gbo?..
My thought exactly. No relationship here
DeleteHmm. Some people can be so somehow..mtcheew so after seeing all these signs u still feel like writing chronicle bah? Hmmm. Just passing actually
ReplyDeleteAre u desperate? He's arrogant and u keep ignoring and chasing him. Use ur tongue to count ur teeth pls
ReplyDeleteI was laughing all through while reading. Abeg leave that guy. Stop stressing yourself... Lol
ReplyDeleteThe guy is an emotional Fraud 😒. Dont give up,love will find you.
ReplyDeleteWhen you stoop low, you head becomes a stepping stone
ReplyDeleteWhen you despise yourself, others will despise you
This is what you get girls when you throw yourself at a man
Do not seek after a man, men do the seeking
If you are beautiful in body and character, they will seek you out
Poster, lick your wounds, learn from it and move on
The wounds are all in her head. I don't see any
DeleteNa by force?
ReplyDeleteMy sister help me ask Poster o.
DeleteSome things are too crystal clear to be questioned.
Make I go put finishing touches to my design o jare
E bam bi oo
DeleteIt's good to be back online and on the blog. Been through a lot,but I'm still standing. Oluwaseun. RIP Oluyomi,God rest your beautiful soul.
ReplyDeletePoster, stop selling yourself cheap. You better forget that man before he sleeps with you and makes you feel worse than you currently feel. The signs are clear yet you are allowing yourself to be brought this low.
ReplyDeleteI just wonder why we still ask the same questions despite all the stories and advises that have been shared on this blog. You don't have to go through a nasty experience after someone else has narrated theirs.
Your happiness doesn't depend on a man.
Receive sense!
ReplyDeleteHe's manipulative, he's authoritative, he's playing mind games, he talks rudely. All these you said with your own mouth yet you're still asking if he's worth the wahala? Babe its like you are bored and just decided to send something to Stella. Infact, yes, he is worth the wahala. He will change after marriage, just keep watching war room
ReplyDeleteStop pushing girl.
ReplyDeleteSeems like u have loads of free time.
If u do not have anything doing,sit down get a paper and pen and starting writing 101 SMART goals of what u want to achieve.
By the time you are thinking and writing ,you will find out that 101 goals you wrote and that guy will not even enter that list,you will sit and focus on how to be successful for yourself not running and readily available for a guy who doesn't even care about you...We ladies need to be much more smarter and know that our life doesn't begin and end with a man.
You meet such guys, cos you have low self-esteem, work on that and you will see changes, you are too beautiful to be treated like a piece of shut like this.
ReplyDeleteWork on yourself and don't give room to pple like the said guy.
He is not even worth sending a chronicle for .move the fuck on! But if you really want him use 'queen and boss theory' goan buy pidgin and kolanut.
ReplyDeleteNa wao, this guy has a girlfriend leave him alone, desperate oshi,i am sure he is doing well that is why you want to die in top of his matter
ReplyDeleteAunty Gwezg
Exactly! Trying to make poster a least important side chick.
DeleteDear poster,forget the guy. He treats you like trash. Obviously he does not like you in that way. Do not call him forever and ever. Move on,delete and block his contact on your phone and social media.
ReplyDeleteI'm sure you felt you were getting old, hence you started reaching out and liking his nonsense Facebook. If someone shows you who they are believe them the first time. Shameless desperation.
ReplyDeleteDarling, my fellow woman read d writing in the wall,he ain't for u. Hv some self esteem and move on..
ReplyDeleteLet me guess, the guy has money or he lives abroad. Why else will you be chopping insults from the man. Lady respect yourself.
ReplyDeletestop chasing him biko....delete & move on
ReplyDeleteI think you have a low self esteem and a bit insecure. You are the type animals like the one you just describe prey on. You seem a good person ....Don't let him complicate your life and mess it up. My strong advice is avoid him, don't contact him, block all contacts with him and move on. If you meet him once you will regret it.
ReplyDeleteThis guy no be am oh.love will find u
ReplyDeleteI wish I had sdk chronicles to turn to when I had dating blues. I have come across lots of guys like this, it never ends well my sister. I know there's nothing wrong with your personality but don't let his behaviour make you end up with someone undeserving of you.
ReplyDeletePlease delete his number and you must not on your life do away with your instincts.
Me I am not even understanding. Right from the begining he has been treating you like sh**. You keep contacting him. Hian sister, respect yourself small now.the guy is not yours , Biko move on
ReplyDeleteStella I dont see any relationship here..You should be happy that he is showing his true colours..Dont bother wasting your time with him, he is not worth it at all..Dont put all your joy and happiness on a man..Build yourself, exude confidence and the right man will be attracted to you..So forget him, he might be a fcuk boy..Just saying
ReplyDeleteWhat are you waiting for run as fast as you can.
ReplyDeleteJust be yourself love will surely find you.
Relax girl! Haba! Be by yourself and love will find you when you least expect. You guys are not even dating yet and I'm stressed out on your behalf after reading this. You don't need all these no one does.
ReplyDeletePlease move on. There is no past, present or future relationship between the both of you with what you described above. I pray God gives you a better person that will understand you.
ReplyDeletePoster,kontinu inugo..
ReplyDelete..but this guy doesn't like you naa, let alone loving you. You're the one pushing for a relationship, you are just desperate and disturbing this guyz peace.
ReplyDeleteHe is full of himself, no doubt, and from the way you're feeling, he is not your kind of man. Back off at once, and stop throwing pity-party. How can something be wrong with you after telling this story the way we read it, except you didn't say it all. You have done nothing wrong, my dear.
ReplyDeleteMarriage/Relationship Counselor
He became valuable the minute he stopped chasing you. It's reverse psychology. We have all felt that way , look hun... you are not missing anything. Your instinct are right, he's not yours and his attitude sucks. Keep it moving
ReplyDeleteChronicle. Okay.
ReplyDeleteListen my dear dont even bother yourself these type of guys are just conceited asswipes....they always want their way and are very rude...they feel the world revolves around them and some more....Stella is absolutely right...PLEASE ignore him, if possible delete all his numbers and move on you will meet someone else okay...Goodluck
ReplyDeleteI HOPE U ARE NOT BATTLING WITH LSE - LOW SELF ESTEEM. PLEASE LEAVE
ReplyDeleteDead on arrival big time. Look out for better somebody. Stop forcing what it's not.
ReplyDeleteDead on arrival big time. Look out for better somebody. Stop forcing what it's not.
ReplyDeleteU guys aren't even in a relatonship yet.There are so many of us here who have been in ur shoes b4.Yes..so many of us.If he ends up loosening up it would only be to have sex with you and that won't be a commitment in anyway.You'll end up feeling abused and sad all d time.Take a cue and stay away from a manipulative man.It takes d Grace of God and a strong will to walk away from a manipulative relationship either ways.I speak from experience.Please runaway.Don't think you can make anything work.Don't!!
ReplyDeleteLeave d guy alone so far u know he is manipulative if u marry dat guy ur enemy may die of domestic violence
ReplyDeleteHe is not into you
ReplyDeleteStella where is my comment? Typing it was so therapeutic for me. Not seeing it hurts!!! Its your blog but sometimes........
ReplyDeleteI am not understanding ooo.
ReplyDelete1. There was never a 🚢 ship - friendship or relationship
2. Are you okay? A man called you an a** and you still dey mumu feeling guilty?
You go dey alright. Next!
This one sounds like he will give you beating for breakfast, lunch and dinner...Use your head
ReplyDelete@Doppelganger God bless you..I really love your words of wisdom..I dunno when we ladies will learn our lessons and wake up to smell the coffee..
ReplyDeleteThat guy is in a serious relationship,forget him and stop giving yourself headache unnecessary.
ReplyDeleteFirst go and fight it spiritually. Take my advise stay off men for now because you will meet disappointment. Go to the mountain or MFM prayer city do fasting and prayer tell God to bring ur own husband to you. As for this guy no talk intact u will regret it for the rest of ur life if u follow him.
ReplyDeletePoster u r desperate, damn too desperate.And u hv low self esteem,it's seems like u r jobless as well,pls get busy and forget he exists
ReplyDelete