NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
CELIBACY BROUHAHA
Dear Stella,
I hope this mail meets you well.
I'v got an issue i'd like to share.
I made a decision to remain celibate until after marriage because pre-marital s3x affects my christian life. I'm unable to pray after that because i feel unclean. This decision didnt go down well with my last boyfriend and was one of the reasons that led to our break up.
It's been over a year now and every guy that has approached me for a relationship doesnt stay because of my principles and the celibacy thing. Another guy mocked me and called me "sister mary", and he asked "which guy do you think would do that with you?".
Im so depressed right now because another guy i really liked just told me he can't cope, he says a relationship has got to be the total package. Even Christian Men who are very active in Church can't wait.
Am i wrong for deciding to wait until its right? Would i grow old lonely because no Man would be patient or love me enough to wait? Is there anyone that made this decision and is married now?, how did you cope?. I just want to live right, why do they make me feel like I am a fool for that?.
.....................................................................................
NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
COMPLICATED MARRIAGE
Hello Stella,
I need advise regarding an issue. Husband and I been married for 10 years, most of which there's been issues. Major fights over non issues due to lack of communication. Husband doesn't do sit downs. He says really demeaning things like you can't make anything of your life without me etc.
We hardly have anything to say to each other even on our best days. No friendship nor companionship. Every issue is my fault, he isn't interested in my job or career and he has never apologized for anything even when it's glaringly his fault.
We majorly get intimate when it's time to have kids and we haven't been intimate in 4 years. We stay in separate rooms and I had zeroed my mind that I would stay in the marriage to take care of my 3 children. Issue now is all of a sudden he knocks on my room door and commands me to come into his room or grabs me awkwardly.
We majorly get intimate when it's time to have kids and we haven't been intimate in 4 years. We stay in separate rooms and I had zeroed my mind that I would stay in the marriage to take care of my 3 children. Issue now is all of a sudden he knocks on my room door and commands me to come into his room or grabs me awkwardly.
Then the actual act is extremely awkward, he just gets to it and doesn't care if I'm in pain or anything. For a long time I had seen a few indications of him playing for the other team and he seems to just really hate touching me. He is unwilling to talk about whatever issue that led to him avoiding me for 4 years but all of a sudden he is interested again. I am of the opinion that s3x is the least of the problem when you can't even communicate.
It baffles me and I have decided to stop having s3x with him completely. But I am feeling guilty even thought I believe I shouldn't. All attempts to have a conversation with him turns to war. The division is getting to me cos I am a sucker for love but I don't believe in deceit. Having s3x when you detest one another. Is there a solution to this?
Poster one..
ReplyDeleteYou're not wrong!
Don't let their words bother you.. The right man hasn't come, when he arrives, you'll know!
All those one are fuckboys, forget them!
Poster one,like Becky here says the right man hasn't come. Hold on. Myself I'm in a long distance relationship and chose celibacy. Been almost a year and it's hard as hell trust me but worth it. You should wait and pray more. Don't assume all the men you see in church are good. Best of luck.
DeletePoster two, obviously your husband is gay. I think you know but just wanna hear it from others.
Poster one, like Becky said, you're not wrong. When the right man comes, he won't ask for sex. Just hold on to what you believe.
DeleteUna go dey alright jare..
ReplyDeletesad week
I tell u.
DeleteWhen you think you've seen all, more starts coming in..
ReplyDeletePoster 1...pls remain as the mermaid that you is oo.. good men will come just be patient aii..
Poster2: love alone cant hold a marriage down but friendship will..
Glowyshoes's blog
Poster 1. Pls Ask God for ur own husband
ReplyDeletePoster 2.didn't u guys court?
Poster one, I'm currently in a Christian courtship with a man who initiated it. It is about having a relationship with purpose and direction from God. We've been courting for just one month. We have committed to a relationship with a view to marriage. We spend time together talking, finding out about each other with respect, openness and integrity. It's been a month and I know him well because we have focused on getting to know each other and have not allowed emotions get in the way. We haven't kissed or held hands. We are taking it slow because it's possible that God has not ordained us for each other. We don't play games. We talk about our past relationships and insecurities. We don't touch each other. Our only intimacy is deep conversations and praying. This is the best thing I have ever done relationship wise. Get the book 'boy meets girl'. It's a Christians guide to dating in today's carnal world. God bless you and give you wisdom to please Him and not men or yourself.
DeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeleteDo you really know the meaning of depression?...
So you mean you are depressed because of a man?...
Did you come into this world because of a man?...
Are you still a virgin?..why are you hoarding your pussy?...
Don't you know that being a good girl no dey pay again...
Continue acting sister Mary untill you end up a gwegz!...
Poster 2,
I like the fact that you want your marriage to work!...
See,close your eyes and give him sex!...then get a side bobo that will be giving it to you right!...
Stop denying your husband sex!..you are his property remember?...
God will punish you for this kind of advice you give to people here, your children will never amount to anything in their lives. They will all be useless in their lives. And you must surely regret these things. Ashawo.
DeleteGod will punish you for this kind of advice you give to people here, your children will never amount to anything in their lives. They will all be useless in their lives. And you must surely regret these things. Ashawo.
Delete*takes space*
DeleteLol. Finally sha, remember that guy i said came to tell my parents that he wants to marry me? The one i told you guys visited and after my mum gave him food he started holding his 'jingo' writhing in pain. Well guess what. His 'problem' was caused by a backlog of accumulated sperm for over 25 years of sexual inactivity. 😁 So he's not impotent or anything he just hasnt released (with or without a woman) in forever. So.... Sunday before last he brought one babe oh. Said he wants to marry next month and they just started courting 2nd week of march, although they've been in the same church and they've been seeing each other. They've printed wedding invite already and babe is in her mid 30s he's well in his 40s.
Poster 1- that testimony is for you. There are celibate men.
P.S: i just dey pity the babe wedding night blues 😂😂😂
Poster 2 - errr.... no comments *sigh*
DeleteHahahaha...you won't kill me! Lol
DeleteChief remember AIDS is real hehehe..
DeletePlease stop your senseless advise I beg you. So she should be a bad girl? Are you an advocate of the devil???
DeleteIn as much as Queen didn't say what you wanted to here, dear Anon U just cussed out her children. It's just a blog. If she retaliates you will call her names. Let's stop insulting people especially families. If U don't agree wit anyone. Make Ur own points or correct them in love ok. Let's all liv in peace loves😊😊
DeleteIt's me Rx
Poster 1 please do not relent, stay strong and know that God is no man that tells lies.
ReplyDeleteWait upon him and he will renew your strength. Those men are the fools and they say mean things to dampen your spirit so you can give them what they want.
A man who loves you will love you beyond your bed skills and wait with you until the right time. Please do not give up or give in to their demands.
Poster 2, your marriage is not healthy and emotional abuse is just as bad as physical abuse.
He basically rapes you if I'm to go by your explanations and that is wrong on so many levels. He is your husband not your owner. You own your body and if having sex with him feels like a chore then stop indulging him.
You both are more like room mates. Why do you stay madam? Why do you think the only way you can care for your kids is by leaving with an abusive man? Please sis, keep it moving. You both no longer love yourselves and its clear. Don't use your kids as an excuse to suffer in a worthless marriage because they'd grow up to project the life you have thrown at them and resent you for it.
If it isn't working and you have tried all possible reconciliations then its time to move on.
Marriage is for love and companionship not long suffering.
Snap out of it and stop trying to please a man.
Wow!! Poster 2, this advice is the Truth, it won't be easy but you need to really think about your kids. Will you be happy seeing them in the same situationship?? Move on, you will be fine
Deleteposter 2..Your hubby and you should see a marriage councelor and psychologist
ReplyDeletePoster two..
ReplyDeleteMy dear I fear for your life!
If he hasn't touched you in 4years and then from nowhere started... Nne you need to go for serious tests!!
Seeing as he has Ben playing for the "other team" for years now. Go and check yourself thoroughly to be sure he hasn't given you something deadly. That one I my major concern now..
And at any point you feel you can't deal again.. You always have an option of divorce!
He might be HIV positive now and wa t to infect u. Stop sleeping with hum ASAP: IMMEDIATELY. He must go with you to a general hospital of ur choice and run tests.if he refuses relocate to somewhere else temporarily and call fir family meeting.
DeleteIf he refuses to run tests, RUN., he has dbvurus and wants to dash u by all means. My sister works In the HIV unit of a teaching hospital. If u hear how husbands infect their wives , u would never have agreed. If after dvtest, he's negative u can then decide whether to be giving him sex ir not.
For me sha, d marriage is dead but its up to u to continue or back out.
Forgive all typos , ni time to proof read
My sister's hubby neglected her for four years. We all knew he was a horrible person from inception but I'm thanking him today cos he did not infect my sister. He stopped sleeping with her when he found out his status. Poster 2 check your husband o.
DeletePoster 1, tie dt leg together.
Poster1, how did you expect us to see your future maybe you won't get a man who will wait till your wedding night? Well, we've read many testimonies of how some people decided to be celibate and their man agreed, yours can't be an exception, wait till you meet yours and if you're impatient, just give in to sex and see maybe the man will settle down with you.
ReplyDeletePoster 2,your marriage is dead, 4years without sex? Once sex is dead in martial life, there's no marriage again, you both need to see a psychologist to rekindle your love, please do that first and let's see if it works out
#RipBvOluyomi
*Larry was here*
Poster 1- keep ur celibacy pls...its urs...ur own man will love u regardless and will wait till u are ready...I know what I'm saying
ReplyDeletePoster 2-marriage without sex for four years,is that one a marriage ? But I raise Beyonce hands for u sha🙌 cos I cannot fit to do thatthat.
Post 1, please keep your body. Post 2, call matured family member to report him to maybe that can solve communication problem.
ReplyDeletehmmmmmm.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 since you decided to stay celibate, satan will send useless men to tempt you. Please dont be tempted and keep staying celibate because God will bring you your own husband. Dont give up. This is temptation from the devil and wants you to fail. Behave like Job who through his trial never caused God and everything went well at the end.
Poster 2... Keep praying for him. 10 years and you want to throw in the towel. Please pray that God should make your husband see you as like the first day his heart saw you and made up his mind to marry you.
It is well with both of una oo
Today na SEX Chronicles! Tohh!
ReplyDeletePls can dis period just come am tired of craving for sweet Tins! Hian
Poster 1, Since u r not a Virgin, u hv no right to deny any man that plan to marry u ur Toto. It means u love those that u gave ur Toto to fcuk more than him...I would hv supported ur position if u didn't give other men ur something to do.
ReplyDeleteLWKMD! Peace maker but nah her Toto nau. Lol
DeletePoster 1: Good you're celibate, your own man will come leave all those deceitful "Christain brothers" they're usually the worst. Zero your mind and continue to ask God to give you your man.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: that's not marriage you're in o, please call someone you know your hubby listens to and let him/her mediate on this squabble. Or better still lock him in a bottle and enjoy what's left of him in the physical world.
Poster one...most guys find it difficult to accept the celibacy thing especially when they know that you aren't a virgin. Too many issues to tackle with that like;
ReplyDeleteWhy did you suddenly decide to stop having sex?
Why did you engage in it in the first place? You should have remained a virgin.
How wide is the punani? So after other guys have finished drilling,na me be mugu wen go wait?
I can't buy a commodity that I didn't sample?
I think there are other reasons outside the religious reason given?
I nor fit enter one chance. These and other reasons are going through the mind of these guys. Good luck with your decision. I pray the one who will understand and reason with you comes along.
Personally,I can't marry someone without testing several times.
Poster 2...una matter strong because he doesn't even want to encourage communication. Una go be.
Imasiri u are utterly senseless imature and very foolish
DeleteAnon very big one at that. Senseless he goat.
DeleteOkay oooo!!!
ReplyDeleteJesus fix both posters!
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Be prepared to old for ur papa house. Which useless man will accept u doing him wayo with ur Toto after u don give other irresponsible men the something to enjoy? U simply don't love him. U should hv keep ur something until ur wedding night if u r sincere with urself and any right thinking man will applaud ur decision.
ReplyDeleteNoise maker du u mind, du u Realize we mourning here?
DeleteMermaid things abi?? Ok no problem.
ReplyDeleteThat route that A followed & it went smoothly for her, just might not be same for B, infact it might be raining cats n dogs on B on that same road oh, kidnappers might even be taking shelter in the dark, but then her glowing skin & (A)ssets will light up the closest electric pole till the volcanos erupt inb/w her valley, different strokes buddy! Most guys wouldn't play that celibate card, they'd agree to wait for donkey yrs initially wit the mindset dat they'd make u slippery & wet that u'd beg for the train to go thru the tunnel, but wen u seem impossible, they start singing Tupac - Hit em up style (TGW, side eyes), instead of Celine dions - love is all that matters, trust me even those that agree to stay will definately chop outside & clean mouth, that being said, its ur body & values, do watever makes ur pillow softer, cus thrs no guarantee they'd marry u if they access ur victorias secrets or cobweb filled bloomers, lol. *sick atheist mind*
😂😂😂 shuo...Victoria secrets pussy...I don learn new one oh 😂😂😂
DeleteYou are so funny and witty...i love your comments. You never fail to crack me up
Deleteposter 1&2 I pray you find solution to your problem
ReplyDeletePoster number 1: Sex has never kept a man n never will. I got married at 28 as a virgin n at dt time i had about 3 guys who were begging to marry me for me - at my terms. Pls continue keeping urslf if dt's ur decision n keep developing n improving urslf, d ryt one will come n stay. Mk sure u give a guy a rsn to want to kip u as per wot u bring into d relationship.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: ds is rily a difficult situation, just tk ds to God in prayers n pls assertively tell oga u need to talk. Tell him ow u feel n dt wt time there myt just be no more marriage. Some men act rigid on d surface but will tnk abt wot u sed in their quiet times. Pls pray n talk to him
What an Irony.
ReplyDeleteFirst poster is being pestered for sex outside the context of marriage.
2nd poster is being deprived of sex within the confines of marriage.
First poster, please do not succcumb, pray that God will connect you with the right man who will fear God enough to help preserve your body which is the temple of God.
Do not be pressured into sex.
Poster 2, let the married folks help you.
Don't sleep with him. He is HIV positive. That is how they do when dey want 2 spread d disease. Stop sleeping with him. Stop it for your life
ReplyDeleteThank you for this comment.
DeleteE be like say u get hiv
DeleteVery true
DeletePoster this is the response you need. Your hubby is not interested in the marriage and has not been for 4 years. Suddenly he starts to have sex with you again. HIV alert!!! My sister was married to her hubby for years and trying to conceive. He was trying to infect her with hiv. He's dead now, she's still negative. Go do a test quickly. I can't shout!
Delete@First narrative...please dont back down or allow any nagative vibes around you. You have taken the best decision ever! All those guys coming to you are obviously the very types you should avoid with everything in you. When a man agrees to abstain and wait for you without all the ISH, then you'll know he may be the right one for it takes more than celibacy and abstainance to know a good man. Forget all those demon carrying dudes who'll sleep with anything in skirt all in the name of relationships. It's obvious you are a true Christian since you know you cant be fornicating and still maintain a relationship with Jesus Christ. I'm proud of you for that. Just let them go gladly as they're not for you...when the right one comes...you'll know. You have taken a stand for Christ...dont bend because of pressure and the stupid remarks/advices your going to get from unrepentant fornicators and adulteres. Hold your head up high daughter of Zion.
ReplyDeleteSeriously, this is harsh
DeleteDaughter of Zion u dey hear 😂😂😂 don't take advice from fornicators and adulterers like us😂😂😂😂 Ewu Yoruba
DeleteLol@ unrepentant adulterers...
DeleteGod bless you Brenda!!!
DeletePoster 1 you are not alone the Lord is your strenght. I was celibate for 7 years before I met my husband in 2016. I just focused on God, built my career, etc. My dear just serve God with what you have, develop your career, invest in meaningful buisiness
ReplyDeleteFor me this is d best response I have read, a response with all sincerity. God bless u sis
DeletePoster 2: You have been married for 10 years yet you came to a random blog with all sorts of haters and bigots for marital counseling. Shebi you are tired of the marriage and you are looking for a way out that will hurt the father of your kids? You don't have in-laws or family members that your husband respects ba? You don't have access to a pastor or priest or a normal counselor?
ReplyDeletePeople have seen worse and tried to make their marriages work and succeeded. Your husband hasn't committed any offense by fucking you. If you want wetness and romance, be the first to approach him and please yourself. Suck his penis and foam down there before slotting his prick in your dry punany. Stop frustrating a young man. If you want out of the marriage, be a sensible fellow and follow due process. It's not a do or die affair. Flimsy bitchy excuses; no dv, he pays the bills, yet stupid evil complaint. Mtcheeew!
Seriously, this is so damn harsh. Haba!
DeleteGeez..I am having headache already
DeleteMiyake the imbecile son of an ashawo mother is here again..hegoat
Delete@ Miyake see a shrink or better still go to yaba left before u enter street naked. Your case is urgent.
Delete@postb2..I think u shld try talking to ur husband @nite wake him up wen he is asleep and talk with him..ensure ur marriage is in Gods hands
ReplyDeletePoster 2.
ReplyDeleteIf you think he has been playing for the other team for a while and he wants sex all of a sudden, better make him go for a comprehensive test first.
Matter of fact, if he didn't touch you for four years and all of a sudden he's coming back, up should ensure that he hasn't picked up something that he wants to infect you with.
Safeguard yourself, even if not for your sake, for the sake of your children and other loved ones.
The love of many have waxed cold oh.
God bless you
DeleteHmm... *Marriage fear me*
ReplyDeleteWell, sex is a universal language, lol, regardless of ur race or ethnicity. Don't mind me jo, poster, he shldnt see u as a dildo in that house? Do u vibrate?? Be his wife not a sex object
Even sex objects arent abandoned like you, they're well cleaned &.ensured the batteries are new, plus its left aside for any1 to see, ur husband is pushing u to the wolves out there.
Poster 1, I feel you. Even the holy holy guys like sex in a relationship. It's only God that can help us o. Look for a guy who is ready to settle down so that the courtship won't be long. Pray for God to lead the right person to you. Don't tell the guy in the beginning that you don't want to sleep with him. Say that you want to wait and you are not ready yet for sex. Play with their intelligence. Then pray he proposes soon😆
ReplyDeletePoster 1, the guy that can't wait to have you will rush to go see your Papa.I am not sure how long you have to wait but am sure he will find you.
ReplyDeleteGod will surely show up for you for his name sake. I admire you cos it takes a lot of self discipline to say no and mean it.
Poster 2, 4yrs in same house and not getting down with your husband???? O to the M to the G. Well I think he is making an effort to reconcile but his pride won't let him.Save your marriage, by building the communication bridge and learning to love him again.I know the feeling of someone you are not into touching you, it can be annoying.But its your Husband we are talking about here.
Dear Posters, may you both come out victorious in Jesus name,Amen.
Poster 1. Stop deceiving urself. No correct man with sense will accept ur position when other men don go that place tire. It seems like u don gbensh too much for ur life and ur punana is no longer tight and sweet and u r now looking for a senseless man u Will trap with yeye wait until after wedding.
ReplyDeletePeace maker stoppeeettt
DeletePoster 1, good men that can wait still exist. Don't give in. It's hard for men. I can tell you because I'm married to a wonderful man. We were celibate but it was very hard. Pls don't give in. Pray more about this.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, the major issue is communication and it's very common. Involve your pastor or an elder that your husband listens to. Maybe they can talk to him to know what his problem is. Even with my amazing husband, sometimes, he just wants to do and go away but I always need tlc and foreplay. So, I imagine how difficult it must have been for you. Let God help you handle this. Pray more about this also.
Hmm..my husband doesnt do foreplay but if he manages to get in..he wants to bury himself there. Most times i wish he would just do it and go away after 10mins.
DeletePoster 2 go and snoop on him..he may be infected with HIV or hepatitis. You are safe from hepatitis B sha if you gave birth in the last 10yrs..i think they immunise mothers too.
But not HIV..you need to live for your kids.
Send the kids for a holiday and pour out your frustrations about your marriage to your husband. God will fix yoir home..trust God.
hahahahaha Peace Maker you are just a nut case oo. Chai
ReplyDeletePoster 1,
ReplyDeletePlease stick to your decision. stay celibate till marriage. All those men quitting because of your decision are simply looking for the 'cooking jar'. Since that's their priority, they will still dump you after having it. Be wise. Boyfriend is a glorified name for 'sin partner'. Let them go, at least you have your dignity. the ones mocking you now are simply consoling themselves, that's a desperate tactic to see if you can yield. If you yield, they will still mock you to your face, "shebi na this thing you de hide all these while, I don chop am na", that time your self esteem will be zero.
Poster2,
Take it to God in prayer. Try to humbly initiate a discussion when he is in his good mood. If he flares up, apologize and leave till another opportunity for discussion comes up. Ask God for God's help, understanding, and intervention in your marriage.
Poster one
ReplyDeleteAm happy with ur moral and abstinence decision, you are a woman of virtue, who knows It is God first before any other thing.. Avoid those guys and continue to pray to God so his will will be done, and God I know will reward you in due time for keeping your body which is his temple clean and holy okay... Stay strong and do not give in to pressure
Poster two
Try and communicate no matter what, through SMS or even letter, let him at least know the things that you are unhappy about before you take any decision please...
Poster 1...dont give in to sex,after getting the cookie,u will see them no more.
ReplyDeleteTell God to guide u.
Poster 2... Hope u r not Fat
ReplyDeletePoster one, If I be your boyfriend, Im going to say same thing.
ReplyDeletePoster 2.. marriage has its good and bad side, but all is a phase that must pass.
ReplyDelete"He is playing to the other team" talk to him about it. Present the evidence to him. He will deny it or try to intimidate you but your evidence will calm him.
He should wear condom period!! Insist on it if not it if not OYO is your name.
I learnt one thing over the years;-
1) there are problems in ALL marriages but the partners will only show you what they want you to see.
2) it is greener in the other side because someone watered it. Fight your battle alone.
3) when it comes to marriage, no one has a solution to your problem. Any advice you receive might destroy or help your marriage.
4) ONLY THE ONE THAT WEARS THE SHOE KNOWS WHERE IT PINCHES.
5) fight your battle yourself!
Harsh? The truth. I can sympathize with you, but you know you're not telling me the whole truth.
If you go to your family, they will support you to tear the marriage down except if your mother is sensible enough to tell you her own struggles to educate you.
Your husband's family will support him 100% and know there is crack in your home and use it against you. #experience.
Go to GOD. Pray, Listen, make your decisions and live with th outcome.
I love you!
Best advice so far
DeletePoster 1:
ReplyDeleteAll those "men" are looking for sex not marriage. You should seek the same God you serve in fasting and prayers. I was in courtship with my fiance for 4 years and we did not have sex, no nudity or lewd acts. The time was not even enough for all we had to learn together in the scriptures about the new home that the Lord expected of us and the kids he wants us to raise. We had days we fast and pray; twice to thrice a week like Jesus taught and we kept the flesh in check. We were quite open to each other. we've been married for more than a decade with kids and have never quarreled; the respect is mutual.
Poster 2:
You are both cohabiting and not married. You wedded but not married. How did it degenerate to this; that's a convenient place to start. You can begin by expressing your thoughts on a daily diary and getting him to read it.
If you've been in a good courtship, reminiscence on those days and bring in scriptural verses from the New Testament on marriage and write all these for about a month etc. and place it in a place you know he will find it to read. Do pray and fast also that the forces holding him captive will be defeated.
Poster 1.
ReplyDeleteWhat really is your standard for living?
Is it the standard of this world which justifies you for your good deeds as long as you don't 'kill' or 'steal'...
Or is your standard the undiluted, incorruptible word of God?
If you had any other reason for avoiding premarital sex, I would probably not respond here, but you've made it clear you're aware that this particular sin which the bible warns christians against affects your relationship with God.
What surprises me is that you seem not to know or understand this God you serve. Do you think He doesn't see what you're going through or cannot grant you your desires in an instant? Do you doubt His Omnipotency?
Don't think for one minute that the effort you put in a relationship is what makes a man decide to marry you. If God wills it, even an unrepentant prostitute will get the best of husbands... and He will have a reason for allowing that to happen (see Hosea 1:2)
Keep your heart blameless and God's temple (your body) undefiled, place your desire to be married into God's hands, leave it there and watch Him do the impossible for you. You will be fine dear.
For those who call you foolish and sister Mary, the only thing I can tell you is that it is more profitable to please God than to please man.
Remember. You are not to conform to this world,(forget about following the bandwagon) but to be transformed by renewing your mind.
Change that mindset that you're developing immediately.
BTW, you're better off without a 'committed Christian" who insists on sleeping with you before marriage. If he is two-faced about his faith, what else is he hiding from you?
His health status? financial state? marital status? children? family?
Nice one...
DeletePoster 1 don't allow them to chop that forbidden fruit, they are thieves (ndi ori) close your legs sam sam. Please my dear don't soil your hand, don't just do it who knows if God is using that to test you. The same thing happened to me they will just come professing love and everything in order to have it. Hold unto God and tell HIM to give you your own partner and He will do it for you cos He did it for me when I least expected it
ReplyDeleteMarriage and wahala....celibacy and another wahala...that is nsogbu
ReplyDeletePoster 1, you wil hardly see a God fearing man that will walk with you in this journey, most men wont, even the ones with bible as tall as them.its not an easy path. I made this decision and it worked for me. I thanked God who touched my husby heart and he said its a good decision and the distance of being in different states helped us and made it worked. My marriage to my hero is 18 months & counting, we are grateful to God. we both are fine & this decision is what he(husby) brag to people(friends) about now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 i am still a learner as my marriage is very young i dont know what to say.1 thing i know is that communication in marriage is very vital.
Poster one, you go dey alright.
ReplyDeleteUnfortunately that's the society we are in, you will definitely find someone.
Poster 2
Try again and initiate conversation, if it fails, involve the family.
Please does anyone know any NGO that I can join?I want to be a voluntary volunteer instead of lazing around since no job is forthcoming.
ReplyDeletePoster 1: Let me say that being celibate is not an easy decision to make. You have to be strong willed, focused and be ready to stand by your decision come what may. A whole lot of ladies who takes this decision do it for religious reasons and that's not a good enough reason. And in this present day where TRUST is a big issue you need to convince even yourself before you can convince others. From what you said I can see you are NOT a virgin so it makes it even difficult for you to convince anybody. However I will also like to say that what kind of men are you attracting or attracted to. A lot of ladies use religion as a yard stick and find a socially active guy attractive.. Am not saying it's wrong but you can have it both ways. Also patience is a virtue....when you set a high standard for your potential man expect very few men in the world to fit into that category. So it might take you a long time before you meet such a person. And how do you look and how old are you? If you look good and dress well then you know only a few men will be bold enough to approach you. So don't lower your standards but go to places where you can attract such men. Age might either be positive or negative....if you are still in your early twenties then you good but if you are in your thirties it might be a bit difficult convincing any man why you have remained single all this while. My humble advice is be ready to make sacrifices if you want to be celibate. I don't encourage sex before marriage cause I married a virgin almost 20 years ago. But things have changed and sex and girls are very cheap these days. So if you see a guy go through the marriage process which I call FDCEW..meaning Friendship,Dating,Courtship,Engagement and Wedding. But give the man something to also hand on to and look forward to. I say tell him you remind celibate until you are convinced you are convinced the relationship is heading for the altar. That you yourself want to test your man to know he is active and can satisfy you not a man that can't get it up or a two minute man. You don't want to be also shocked on your wedding night. The guy will see reasons cause you have a genuine reason for your decision.
ReplyDeletePoster2: I feel your marriage has always been like that and it was a fundamental problem from the genesis of your relationship. I feel you are scared and was intimidated and pressured into marriage. A man you can't have a conversation with how can you communicate with him. When you tell you women not to go into marriage like an acquired property you don't listen. He sees you like part of the furniture and not an asset and that's why he will never respect you. Focus on you career, children,look good and stand up to him. Challenge his authority without being rude. Do you and look good like a chic babe and attractive....let him come and woo you afresh. Trust me let him sweat for it then he will appreciate you.
Poster 2. Your husband will soon fling you out of that house through the window. I pray the guy get side chick wey go dey give am head. You dey form boss for your husband abi ?
ReplyDeletePoster 1....forget all those fuckboys.when a genuine man who really have good intentions for you comes around,u will thank God for having waited .
ReplyDeletePoster 2...it is well with you and yours
poster2 its well with u.D God dat brought him back after 4yrs will make him love u again.I have a friend dat even when she's keeping malice with her hubby he must still gbensh and malice will continue d next morning.
ReplyDelete1. My dear, if you'll be true to yourself, the right man will surely come. Those ones coming just wanna devour your body and voom "disappear". Keep trusting God.
ReplyDelete2. My dear you know your husband better than us, you know what makes him happy, you can equally use it to get him then talk to him. Another thing is 4years is not 4 months, so try find out his HIV status. Do not leave him.
Poster one: pls pls pls do not give up! It doesn't matter who left your life so long as God is with you, He will surely beautify your life at His own time. Focus on God and improving yourself and every other thing will fall in place. You are not alone.
ReplyDeletePoster 1.....what's all this celibate ish. There are other ways lovers can show affection without actual sex .You can smooch, kiss, peck, touch yourselves.
ReplyDeletePlease stop that talk about feeling dirty, those pastors that preach in churches don't they have sex with their wives at home. Forget that talk. Don't you read chronicles of women not enjoying sex with their husband. Better you know the size and length of what you will be taking for the rest of your life. Receive sense.........
Poster 2......you have to find a way to sit him down and discuss the issues in your marriage. Now, is the best time to do that. You can prepare his best dish and give good sex after that. Then you can tell him how it feels for him to touch you again. Say your mind but don't nag. Remind him of how you met, am sure he will start connecting and the communication in your marriage will improve by God's grace. And note, you can also start dressing in figure hugging dresses around the house when he's around.....I hope you're not one of these bornagain women that push their husband away from them due to their dirty looking attitude........also continue to pray for him......
Poster 2 don't deny your husband sex oh. God will interven for you
ReplyDeleteposter 1,
ReplyDeletewell i did wait till i got married before me and my husband made love, as a christian its what the bible says you should do. please keep yourself the right man will come, after all some will still sample the goods and not buy, so it saves you the headache and heart ache.
keep hope alive and dont forget the key word pray pray and finally pray.
poster 2
ReplyDeletehmm 4 years and no sex conji for kill me self. He owns your body let him have it after all he married you.pray for him and keep hope alive, it is well.
Dear Poster 1: Stop being depressed its not worth it..because someone will not accept you as you are..they are fcukboys..Wait you will get the Right Man, its worth it..being celibate is the best. Dont be moved by Olosho girls in long term, they will regret it.This life is too short.
ReplyDeleteDear Poster 2: Am not married so please go and see a christian pyschologist/counsellor that will help you guys out..I beg you..This life is too short to be unhappy..
Poster one you have nothing to worry about, we all have been there and today we are not single, when the right guy comes he will stick to your rules.
ReplyDeleteContinue to remind God of His word, don't give, your man is coming. Never you give in to pressure.
Poster two let oluwa settle your case.
ReplyDeletePoster 1:try as much as you can to pit your mind away from men and marriage. Just do as if you don't care, you'll see it happen unexpectedly. The Lord is your strength.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Take it to God, He's the only one that can help you now.
@poster 2,if ur man is either Charles chuks Okeke or lindson Obakpolor,he's definitely. Gay.plus sharing diseases.better run
ReplyDeletePoster 1. You're here talking celibate,when you were with your previous bf and you were seeing another guy, saying you loved the other guy. Abi you no dey stylishly live with the Yahoo boy then? Abi Wale don leave you run. #iranuAbasha. You now want to be celibate. Let me just inform you that Wale used you.#juju things. Reply this comment and let me tell you the antidote to his #ilorinJazz he uses for Lautech girls.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. This is my story. I can totally relate to this. I sent in my Chronicle sometime ago and got similar advice. Practising celibacy in a relationship is very tough but God's grace abounds. I'm still mourning the end of my relationship with someone I really cared about coz of this issue. Ping me on d8ee1eab let's talk. I draw strength from reading other people's stories.
ReplyDeletePoster 1. Stand by what you believe in and trust that God will not fail you. Make sure to work on other aspects of your character so that even when he wants to walk away, he'd think twice. Poster 2. Pls try counselling before you finally decide to end your marriage. Ask the Holy Spirit to guide you on what to do. You may not feel like praying right now but just trust him. He will help you. Good luck.
ReplyDelete