STAND ALONE NARRATIVE...
HICCUPS IN A RELATIONSHIP
Hi Stella,, hope you are doing well.. Thank you for everything you ve been doing for us. You have a wonderful heart. I don't know where this particular story of mine falls into but I need your advice and that of our lovely beevees.
I don't know how to start but let me start. My story is a little bit long but please manage.
I started dating my boyfriend when I was 19 and in my second year in the University. When we first met, he was a playboy, clubs alot, has series of women up and down, has irresponsible friends, but I loved this guy and decided to work on him..with time, he stopped clubbing, smoking, dropped the women and the irresponsible friends.. he really changed for good..
A year and six months into the relationship,, this guy beat me black and blue..what was his reason, a guy was asking me out,, the guy said he loved me and I said I know. He was like why would I tell the guy I know he loves me,, after using his belt, hand and legs to beat me, he later read up my chat with the guy and figured out I was actually telling the guy off, I wanted to walk away but he cried, prayed,apologized,and said he's really sorry. I forgave him and accepted him back
Did I tell you he has trust issues,, yes serious trust issues due to previous relationships.
During the course of this relationship I saw a chat with his ex, he was asking for the girls nude pics.. He apologized and I accepted him. Infact, a lot has been happening but this is a guy I love, he makes me happy and I care for him, so I always forgive him
Countdown to four years into the relationship, I was in my final year, he came down to me, and he decided to hangout with friends.. He came in very late, I was like scolding him that he shouldn't have come in late, Stella, he beat me again, used his belt on my body.. I cried and he left the next morning.
Countdown to last month, I got a job interview in another state, he said no, that I ve not gone for service and all that, being the first child amongst six kids with my parents being out of jobs, I told him I can't continue staying at home, I need to carter for my family in one way or the other, he bluntly refused and said he will break off the relationship, I ended talking to his Elder sister, his elder sister talked to him, he ended up allowing me go for the interview.. I got the job.
The job is very stressful..
Due to the stressfulness of the job, I come back late and my aunt I stay with runs a restaurant,i hardly have time for anything.
So, he called me one day and said I don't have time for myself talkmore of him,, I told him thank God you know how bad it is, I now told him that since he has so much time, why doesn't he call me,, after the days hustling, I end up checking on him
To cut the story short, he started accusing me of seeing other guys, he really used insulting words on me. I didn't say anything,he called my dad that I ve not been calling, my dad told us to settle things amicably.
Due to the stressfulness of the job, I come back late and my aunt I stay with runs a restaurant,i hardly have time for anything.
So, he called me one day and said I don't have time for myself talkmore of him,, I told him thank God you know how bad it is, I now told him that since he has so much time, why doesn't he call me,, after the days hustling, I end up checking on him
To cut the story short, he started accusing me of seeing other guys, he really used insulting words on me. I didn't say anything,he called my dad that I ve not been calling, my dad told us to settle things amicably.
I just told him am no longer interested in the relationship..
Stella, for the past two weeks, he has cried, begged, tried committing suicide, called all my family members and his to talk to me,, everyone is telling me to give him a second chance.. I don't know what to do..
Note :did I tell you I accepted his engagement ring, I did.
Did I tell you he doesn't fail to rub it in my face that he helped me and my family when my dad was really down.. Kinda he upgraded me.
Did I tell you he told me to return everything he ever gave to me.
Am scared of him, whenever he's angry. He breaks things,like when he's not getting what he wants.. He will be like its my fault, because he was about breaking his car windscreen because I told him, I don't want to continue the relationship.
Story plenty,, but I need candid advices please.
Don't mind my typos please.
The pressure of everyone telling me to give him a second chance is frustrating. He said he has changed and all that but I doubt it.
*If there is physical Violence involved,babe PLEASE TAKE A LONG WALK FROM THIS GUY!!!
Do it if you love yourself!!
He should commit suicide if he want to so you can live your life okay else what he'd end up doing is commit murder with you as the victim. He is simply a manipulator and he will use those silly crocodile tears to deceive you.
ReplyDeleteYou are in a train wreck of a relationship.
Haven't you learnt anything at all from stories like yours on this blog. Use your tongue to count your teeth, find another man who won't control your life or beat you up for any reason.
All these beating on top boy friend a.k.a sin partner. Oriegwu. Use belt, leg and hand on you. Nne irigo nsi. just get ready for more beating after marriage cos that one is sure. Only pray he doesn't kill you. Someone did not respect you when he is courting you, it's when he marries you he will respect you abi? Your family members and friends are begging you because they don't know about this chronicles. Open up to them, you will be shocked what they will say.
DeleteYou haven't seen boyfriend yet you're with a bouncer!!!!!
DeleteDon't go back to him. I stuck to a toxic relationship because of my stubbornness and I am married but unhappy. Even him is not happy. If it's not working, never ever try to force it.
DeleteAbeg leave this guy ooh, don't allow him kill you please. If he has trust issues he might end up hurting you .seriously please watch your back even if you don't go back, he will still be after you.
DeleteAre you a goat? Just answer me, are you a goat? Why will someone be beating you up and down and you are here asking nonsense questions, except you are a goat sha. What kind of stupid relationship, better throw that mumu ring away. If you have the physical things he bought for you, you can return them. As a matter of fact don't return anything let him go and die. You say he makes you happy, so beating someone is part of the happiness, what have you been learning on this blog? You are getting me very angry I swear.
DeletePls let him break what he will break as long as its not your bones or heart.
DeleteI dont even know what exactly you are asking for. This guy is bad news... acting like a lose canon and you want to risk your life and happiness just because you "love" him. Sometimes love is not enough. It's not your business if he commits suicide or breaks his windscreen. He will get over it. Pls move to the next chapter if ur life and drop him like he is hot.
Pls poster don't accept him back oh! This is the opportunity to dispose him. Am 200% sure that he won't change for good.
DeleteTake a walk ASAP.
DeleteYes doppelganger! Thanks for the comment, if he likes let him commit suicide, if that will bring you your sanity and calmness so let it be! Jeez I can't stand domestic violence, imagine, not once, but freaking twice, girl run!!! As in cross your mind that no matter the begging even from his fore fathers, you aren't going back. I had a guy one time that said he will commit suicide if I leave him, Oriegwu!! I told him to go and kill him self joor, how can I be paying for transport to his place for good 3 years without no support from him all because he was jobless, abeg I borrowed brain from my kidney and till this moment I am happy I did even though he actually tried to commit suicide but he was rescued and was admitted on oxygen for a week. Boy bye!!!!!
DeletePush up i love u...come n take kiss
DeleteBabe you have no business being in that relationship. Don't you ever or think of accepting him back.
DeleteYour comment will be visible after approval.
If you marry this guy just write RIPP with your hand and place it somewhere cos the voice of the people is the voice of God. You have received enough advice here to save your life.
DeleteSome girls are stupid o. You want to die first before you give yourself brain? Find another man. He will not commit any nonsense suicide. He just dey wind your small brain. Move on biko
DeleteThis is a toxic relationship. You will not know until you are in a normal relationship. Get out now. Peoeare happy living life smiling day to day. You are here struggling and taking belt beating. If u see how happy your fellow women in normal relationships are you will know you are suffering. Pls leave o
DeleteOn a more serious note Stella not just everyday chronicles. Pls can you give us feedback from these chronicles let's know what advice the poster took a nd what happened. Pls open that sort of thread thanks.
My dear don't look back. Imagine o, he makes you happy with the beating?
DeleteI once had an ex that used to destroy things when angry. Before he graduated to my face, I zoomed out of there and never looked back.
That's how you will forgive and get back with him until he kills you. You had better leave that venomous dude.
ReplyDeleteIn this life eh, one of the most difficult things to do is convince & make a woman in love see reasons, you'd even find it easier converting a Christian to a Muslim... When they start asking such questions, she's already got a melted heart towards that dude, the family has done it all for him, its much muh easier if the whole family is on ur side, especially the dad.... Lemme not waste strenght typing, she'd go back.
DeleteYou met in year 2 and 4 yrs later you were in your final year. You had extra years cos of him abi cos you don't sound like a doctor so you didn't study medicine
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteYour guy has a mental problem, i wonder why u are even asking us for advice,how do u love a guy that beats and humiliates you, u have a very low self esteem,and who told u he's going to commit suicide, this is what i call emotional blackmail, but if he's serious about committing suicide, plz tell Uber to take him to third mainland bridge and we don't the bill to me, if u like don't dump his sorry ass, i will type Rip when he finally beats u to death.
ReplyDeleteLook who's back
DeleteI will give you "pieces of advice" though you asked for "advices"
ReplyDeleteWhen this guy kills you in marriage, all the folks mounting pressure will mount a beautiful coffin, decorate it with flowers and put your remains there and lower it six feet.
In a matter of a week or two, you will be forgotten; history never to be studied
If you've had kids, the next woman; one of his women that sends nudes will have plenty of kids as maids to keep her house tidy and run errands
So . . . are you going to use your senses?
Poster I honestly think you should listen to this advice. Respect Anon 15:09. Blunt. Straight forward and on point.
DeleteNice pun
DeleteBest advice for you poster.
DeleteWhat are you still doing with this guy? You deserve better. Its not going to get better. Am begging you in the name of all that you hold dear. Take a walk and don't look back.
ReplyDeleteHe will be fine.
I got angry while reading this story. The boy has emotionally and physically abuse you. The result is your low self esteem. see, This guy has made you believe you can't find someone b
ReplyDeleteetter than him but babe I swear with my bra you will find a better person if you leave the idiot. I just feel so sorry for you honestly.
Pls allow me perch here. Gurl, break off that relationship immediately. Time will heal you. Else more chronicles loading... worse off.
DeleteAll the pressure mounters will bury your dead body when he pummels you dead with those belts and kicks you like soccer ball.
ReplyDeleteMaybe when you are pregnant, he will kick out the "soccer ball" from your tummy!
Your guy has a mental problem, i wonder why u are even asking us for advice,how do u love a guy that beats and humiliates you, u have a very low self esteem,and who told u he's going to commit suicide, this is what i call emotional blackmail, but if he's serious about committing suicide, plz tell Uber to take him to third mainland bridge and send the bill to me, if u like don't dump his sorry ass, i will type Rip when he finally beats u to death.
ReplyDeleteThat's why I always advice girls not to receive "gifts" from a boy while dating; you earn your respect.
ReplyDeleteLet him give you cards, flowers and . . .just things to express his thoughts. In that way your decisions will not be wrapped in his will and desires.
If he want to commit suicide, he will not tell anyone; the grave is not full. He only will add you to it when you stupidly marry him.
See stupid advice o, we shouldn't collect gift ke
DeleteWetin be gift? Its not don't collect gift. Don't date animals. Dated my hubby 4 7 years we married after. But even if we broke up after that 7 yes he won't have asked for those gifts back. What nonsense.
DeletePOSTER RUN!!!!
ReplyDeleteE be like say chronicle don finish
ReplyDeleteRecent ones get as e be
Somebody with long legs should pls borrow the poster.....
E don finish true true. Sometimes you people wait until something happens to you before you learn. You can't learn from the experiences of others and the chronicle advice we give on this blog? Someone will talk talk talk talk yet e no dey enter una ear!
DeleteHhahahahahahahahahahahahaha
DeleteIf he got physical with you while dating, expect worse when u attach his last name to yours, he'd see u as one of his labelled properties, & DV wldnt be the only issue that'd force u to contemplate a Divorce or Diving into 3rd mainland, he'd control ur life worse than a remote control, you'd wish the batteries will die off, you can't be free around control freaks, cus they object to almost any idea/decision u put up, you'd be so uneasy that you'd learn to store fart & do it only when he's asleep or outside the room, follow ur insticts poster, they're hardly wrong, they're like ones shadow following you, hard to make out the actual image from a shadow but always at the right angle from the reflection.
ReplyDeleteI 4got to add, don't follow ur heart oh, the heart is easily deceived & can accept shit that'd kill or contaminate the entire system, a very mumu organ when it comes to making choices.
DeleteBabe follow Stella's advice...Dats my opinion
ReplyDeleteDespicable traits being exhibited by your man- supposedly. Though something tells me you've seen a man you feel is an upgrade on him. And I keep wondering why only the women are told to "walk away" in capital letters when they're the victims of domestic violence, but men are cajoled and begged when it's the reverse.
ReplyDeleteHe's a mental case. You better leave this guy because you wont be happy in that marriage.
ReplyDeleteRun as fast and far as u can from that rship. If he is not your creator than he has done nothing.
ReplyDeleteAunty you are a stubborn goat.
ReplyDeletePlease marry him and enjoy his anger. #scoffs.
🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶🚶
Dear poster, until u begin to reason wt ur coconut head n not ur heart then u will kip sending in chronicles... Cheers 🍻 to adding to d number of dv women wt low self employed esteem who build d entirety of dia existence around dick heads instead of God.
ReplyDeleteBegin do countdown cos as I dey see u so na RIP go end ur case last last if u decide to spend d rest of ur life wt him...
A word is enof for d wise(if u decide to be one)
This relationship is all shade pf wrong,he cant continue beating you up,telling you things that piss you off then come back begging,no you shouldn't accept that baggage. be courageous and walk away.
ReplyDeleteFollow your heart my dear because at the end of the day it is going to be just you and him.
ReplyDeleteAnya adiro gi nma. What kind of fucked up advice is that?
DeleteIf you really 'love' him, please take him to a mental institution for pschy evaluation.I don't know why Nigerians ignore symptoms of mental illness like bipolar,attention deficit hyperactivity disorder ,maniac episodes. Poster in simple English, your boyfriend is really sick,if you are ready for that baggage forgive him or concentrate towards helping your family till you meet the right person for you.
ReplyDeleteLove is not by force oooo....shuuu
ReplyDeleteplease be firm with your decision cause you may regret it later
ReplyDeleteAs in please this guy's deserves no second chance at all,you have given it your all and several chance,this one is not even second chance it's like 8th chance cos you have always forgiving and taking him back.this people telling you to give him another chance won't share in the beating.please take a walk and don't y ever ever look back,i repeat ever ever look back.
ReplyDeleteAnd please when we are in a relationship let's make decisions with our brain and not our heart.
Poster, there is fire on the mountain, run 'run "run'".
ReplyDeleteI doubt he will stop being violent, explain to your parents. Should you marry him, he will turn worse. Remove your shoes, run and don't look back.
Emotional blackmail and domestic violence and u still asking questions. My dear he won't change, he can't. forget love and think of self preservation first. He beat you with belt and u guys aren't even married and not once sef ohhhh. I ran from my ex, me I can't come and die for love ohhhh. Exact attributes of my ex minus the belt part n breaking things. Pls I implore u, leave and return ring and don't mind the people saying go back. One day he will kill u and they will come cry at your funeral saying we told her. Walk away and never look back.this one na situationship not relationship...
ReplyDeletePls walk away, you've nothing to loose of you leave this guy.
DeleteStella what happened to our e-slap, you don use am do cookies and cream.
ReplyDeleteMumu lady give him a second chance as idiots told you so that they will carry your dead body out when he kills you.
Unam ikot. Stupid chronicles
I may not encourage you to continue in a DV relationship but you can give him a second chance on the ground that he goes for delieverance from the suicidal and angry spirit . If not OYO is ur case.
ReplyDeleteThere's a reason Bible said,"work out your salvation with fear n trembling " not everything is about deliverance
DeleteRe u for real????
ReplyDeleteMadam poster, you have 2 options
ReplyDelete1) walk away now and find someone better bfor u become aunty gwegs
2) marry him and bcom a punching bag for years bfor ur brain eventually reset and u move out, that is after sending series of domestic violence chronicles
The choice is yours and yours alone
U better run if not
ReplyDeleteYou're not even married to the guy yet and they are begging you to stay in an abusive relationship? Even your dad too?
ReplyDeleteDoes your father love his child at all? Does he want to bury his daughter at a young age all because of relationship wahala? Na wah oo
Kindly tell them all to back off and allow you to live your life! How long are you going to continue enduring all that crap and childish tantrums?
Say NO and stand by it! You'll be doing yourself a lot of good by staying far, far, far away from that dude! He is evil
Why won't the dad beg? it's obvious the guy is rich and he really helps out with cash. It's so sad that poverty has reduced some parents to the level of turning a blind eye to the plight of their children especially female children in the hands of their partners because of money. Dude is not even married to her, SMH.
DeleteI am talking from experience, she can't leave him because if the guy walks who will carry the family responsibilities. Her boyfriend is not the only one blackmailing her emotionally, her family is too. Anytime she tries to leave, her family will remind her of all the financial gains from abusive boyfriend. Sad but true.
Poster I pray you get a good job that make you financially independent. That way he won't be able to control you with money.
Baby Girl Walk away , dont listen to anyone.Disobey your parents and friends on this one..Quote me anywhere..Physical violence using belt, hands, legs and what not..Let him commit suicide at least the earth will be less of a stupid, immature guy like him..If you respect yourself enough, Please dont go back to that guy..And this is not a second chance at all, he has been doing it time and time again..Return that enchainment ring and give urself some sense..God please give girls some sense and wisdom...Are your destinies tied to each other...Gosh !! Am just so angry right Now!!
ReplyDeleteReal enchainment �� what kind of toxic relationship is this? Better run for your life before you return to your parents in a casket. Please if the only way he'll let you be is if you pay all he has spent on you then work out a payment plan at least you now have a job, even if it takes over two years to pay bear it at least you know you're free from a violent relationship
DeleteIF YOU GO BACK TO HIM, YOU WILL DEFINITELY NOT COME OUT ALIVE. So if u love yourself like Stella said, RUNNNNNNN.... Don't ever consider him for a second. Remember where u come from so please focus on YOU and everything that concerns you.
ReplyDeletePoster run. Run and don't look back. U're in a bad relationship that could possibly cost your life. This guy is an animal. U're young but don't be foolish at the same time. The writing is on the wall. Save us future chronicles or even bone chilling news headlines.
ReplyDeleteKem, add me up again if you can. I didn't wanna be dependent on anyone to do what had to be done. It's done now. I'd like it if we could go back to being cool cats.
ReplyDeleteIf you're wondering who,It's koibito!
Are u really for real??? Wtf is wrong wiv u, I know wat ur waiting for (acid bath) right? dats wen he is extremely angry beyond control he willnt only beat u again, u better FLEEEEEEEEEEEEE so u wunt die be4 ur time oooo tor I rest my case.
ReplyDeleteStories like this get me really irritated, He beats you, "you're scared of Him" "He has trust issues" and a thousand and one things you didn't tell us about Him....
ReplyDeleteOkay the thing is that you're confused and you don't know if you should give Him a "second chance".....No girl, it's the 10th time you'll be letting this animal walk back into your life.
For how long, really how long are you going to be able to put up with His nonsense... FOREVER is a lot of time, How long will you allow His tears deceive you, does He even think about you when He's using His belt on you...Babe don't do it for yourself, do it for the kids that you'll bring into this world, the sadness of always seeing their mum unhappy, the sadness of always seeing their Dad beat up their mum, the psychological effects....Babe think twice and TAKE A WALK!!!
Receive a trailer load of common sense.
ReplyDelete✋ take it!
DeleteStories like this get me really irritated, He beats you, "you're scared of Him" "He has trust issues" and a thousand and one things you didn't tell us about Him....
ReplyDeleteOkay the thing is that you're confused and you don't know if you should give Him a "second chance".....No girl, it's the 10th time you'll be letting this animal walk back into your life.
For how long, really how long are you going to be able to put up with His nonsense... FOREVER is a lot of time, How long will you allow His tears deceive you, does He even think about you when He's using His belt on you...Babe don't do it for yourself, do it for the kids that you'll bring into this world, the sadness of always seeing their mum unhappy, the sadness of always seeing their Dad beat up their mum, the psychological effects....Babe think twice and TAKE A WALK!!!
poster I'm using God's name to beg you don't go back. please don't you have given him more than enough chances. If you're scared of loneliness please join every social media pages. please just avoid going back.
ReplyDeleteMadam poster for God sake once a man start beating u like no man's business leave him this doesn't sound good a lot of woman have fallen victim of dosmetic violence take the nearest motor and zoom off biko oh
ReplyDeleteHe has serious anger issues....RUN!!!
ReplyDeleteExplain to those ppl especially ur family that he beats you. If one day he "mistakenly" kills u out of anger, those ppl will only tell ur parents 'sorry', attend ur burial and move on with their lives.
It's ur life, SAVE IT.
Go and buy KAYAMATA abi what is it called😞😞😞..he will never raise his hands against you after one episode of KAYAMATA 😅😅😅😅
ReplyDeleteYoung lady, I don't think anybody in your family is asking u to give him a second chance because no reasonable being would advise you to stay put in such a God forsaking relationship. please Carry your slippers osor from that relationship. Nonsense. That BF of yours is a psycho.
ReplyDeletePoster, you'd better escape and jump through the window of this relationship right now, before you're finally padlocked with wedlock...
ReplyDeleteDon't go back to him,a better man who will treat you right will come your way,he's not married to you and yet cries to the whole family over your issues,you deserve better,the people advising you to give him a second chance won't end up with him but you,he won't commit any suicide,and he will be fine without you.
ReplyDeleteHe wants to commit suicide? 😒😒😒
ReplyDeletePost is ring to him and please move on with your life. Good radiance 😏
Why would you stay with a guy that beats you up? Next if you want to move on it's either he kills you or drowns himself. I believe you lack self esteem. It's not love you're weak. To the next please
ReplyDeleteThat second chance might be your last on earth if you give him,they never change, those who are advising u to give him a second chance will be the ones blaming u for not speaking up or even going back to him,poster you know him,sit down ,relax and honestly ask yourself if you deserved all the beatings if your answer is yes,then go ahead and give him d second chance but if your answer is no,cut all forms of communications with him n any member of the family that can frustrate your decision.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of people like that, trust me he won't change, It will be worse when you guys get married, all you've seen is just an introduction.
ReplyDeleteThe signs are very glaring for you to see but the people begging you won't allow you make your decision in peace until they blackmail you emotional till you return to him and end up dead God forbid.
ReplyDeletePlease poster, he is dangerous and very unstable. Beg him to please let you go cos he may do something far worse than beating you if you return to him. A word is enough.
Don't be moved by his tears,that's one of the trademarks of typical women beater, it's not a new thing for him to cry and promise never to do it again.Run my dear!!!
ReplyDeleteThis one does not deserve a second chance from you. You have counted up to three break ups and make up. Melo melo la fe wi.....
ReplyDeleteHe better commit the suicide fast so that you can rest and move on or else if you yield to his cries and get back together with him, he would kill you or push you to suicide you didn't allow him commit for you.
Let him go and die, will he be the first to die? Leave the lunatic before he sends you on an early trip to hell.
ReplyDeleteHow do you guys enjoy dating fuck boys who are not only useless but violent too? God knows i am one selfish biatch who wont hesitate to dump any stupid bloody scallywag who thinks he can mess me in such a way. What rubbish if you were my sister i would have taken you to a cele church to flog those evil demons outta you,who wont allow you borrow sense and leave that violent animal. Girls sha una no dey ever learn.
*hangs leg on the wall*
From what I read above you've given him more than a fifth chance after all the beating therefore I'm not understanding the second chance you are talking about. Poster pls for the love I Mike leave the guy and his smelling habit. Let him commit suicide if he wants to. Imagine a woman beater threatening to commit suicide abeg good riddance to bad rubbish joor. Breakup with d modafcuking mofo.
ReplyDeletein your interest babe, use your brain and leave, the worse mistake will be to marry this guy. He will continue to black mail you and one day the beating might lead to death.
ReplyDeleteThe simple name for his actions is called possession. Babe when it come to this stage, normal is out of the window. Borrow sense
ReplyDeleteOnly one word for you and same word i told yesterdays chronicle poster"FLEE".Have you ever wondered why in some passages of the bible you see the word "FLEE" not run or walk away?it means to take flight or speed
ReplyDeleteHow do u love a man that beats you black and blue? You have serious self esteem issues.. I can't deal
ReplyDeleteWe can give you all the advice in the world but the moment you failed to take a walk the first time, trust me you would go back and be there, married and be thinking you are better than those not married.
How do you let a common boyfriend control you soo much as to even the job you take?
TUEH
A guy that doesn't worship the ground you walk on while dating would drag you through the ground when married. With that much anger you are better off without him.
ReplyDeleteLololol. Are you now tired of working on him? You saw a dude with all this baggage and decided out of your 'pure not expecting anything in return heart' to change him. I bet he comes from a rich family which is why you pitched your tent there.
ReplyDeleteYou cannot change anybody, change is a self decision.
Apparently your work hasn't been very effective. It's either you continue until completion or look elsewhere
Return the yeye ring, what nonsense! I guess you are scared because he asked you to return all he gave you. Didn't you give him something too? Your tohtoh
ReplyDeleteReturn the yeye ring, what nonsense! I guess you are scared because he asked you to return all he gave you. Didn't you give him something too? Your tohtoh
ReplyDeleteIn all of this, you don't seem to love yourself at all. I'm sure you've read about abusive husbands and you are about to marry one.
ReplyDeleteForget what people are saying and leave him else if he kills you, the same people will accuse you of being dumb and not reading the handwriting on the wall when you had time and take a walk.
"The pressure of everyone telling me to give him a second chance is frustrating." Did you tell everyone about the DV? Dey there dey ask Mumu question, until he kill u.
ReplyDeleteDey said it all.. Half of d word is enough for d wise... I rest my case..
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteSAY NO TO DOMESTIC VIOLENCE, SAY YES TO WORKING ON YOUR SELF ESTIME AND UPGRADING YOURSELF.
My dear, please leave that man the hell alone or you will die a premature death. This man is so insecure within himself and wants you to downgrade yourself to his level. When he controls and beats you to stupor, it is how he feels a man.
You don't need a monster like him for a fiance, don't even think of marriage with him. Do the best you can, help your family and save some aside, but definitely get rid of him. If you have any debt toward him, pay him back when you can and goodbye to bad rubbish.
Esteem*
DeleteHow old are you poster? My only prayer for you is to receive SENSE IN JESUS NAME. AMEN.....damn everybody and leave this guy, he hasn't changed and just manipulating you...pure emotional blackmail
ReplyDeletePls let him break what he will break as long as its not your bones or heart.
ReplyDeleteI dont even know what exactly you are asking for. This guy is bad news... acting like a lose canon and you want to risk your life and happiness just because you "love" him. Sometimes love is not enough. It's not your business if he commits suicide or breaks his windscreen. He will get over it. Pls move to the next chapter if ur life and drop him like he is hot.
babe once a man hits u more than one for little or no offence committed pls take a walk coz u deserve to be treated better. Na who dey alive dey send in chronicle
ReplyDeleteI doubt if you are a regular BV. Cos if u are, then u wouldn't have sent in this chronicle nor would U be seeking advice on an issue that has been overly flogged on dis blog. All the DM stories dat leads to either death or divorce should be enough lessons for you.
ReplyDeleteHe wanted to commit suicide? Wat kept him please.. No rope abi no 3rd mainland bridge?
ReplyDeleteI want to abuse u but it's still Easter..
Dnt worry we will advice u wen he chains you to a generator ok
Break up sharply,he is just trying to manipulate you the beating is not going to stop.Explain things to your dad make sure you go along with pictures of women who have died due to domestic violence tell him you don't want to end up a statistic.Oh and return the ring.
ReplyDeleteStella did you read the chronicle at all or it is me not understanding the meaning of physical violence and belt plus blue and black beating? I have no advice for this poster but have just one question for Ladies, why do ladies love bad guys?
ReplyDeleteHe will still beat you in marriage, forget him
ReplyDeleteSDK... I thought you were a proponent of second chances? Abi your preaching is conditional? Anyways madam poster...YOU DON'T WORK ON A PARTNER!!! Clubbing doesn't actually translate to being a bad person, it's the actions in & afterwards that defines you. "Project" relationships NEVER amount to anything especially when the project is a douche bag like the cow of a boyfriend/fiancé that you have. Who threatens to kill himself over a failed relationship? Dem born una together? If he's whopped you before & talked about your family...he's not about to change tomorrow, thread cautiously
ReplyDeleteRUN for your dear life!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteDon't make the mistake of going back to him,if you do, six feet awaits you.....
Poster please run for your life. Someone is already hitting you in courtship, he didn't even pretend until you're married. Such a person will treat you worst if you ever get marry to him.
ReplyDeletePlease, is it that your family aren't award of his violent ways with you that they're still asking you to give him a second chance.
You can relocate to a place close to your workplace to be away from him. Tell him you're no longer interested and don't ever meet up with him to discuss anything.Close his chapter in your life. You will be fine dear...........e-bear hugs
I have never been in your exact shoes but I know what it feels like for your emotions to rule your logic. Trust me you know the right thing, heck you just sent this chronicle for affirmation. But even if your entire village tells you to leave him till ur heart accepts it, it'll all be balderdash.
ReplyDeleteI would advice that you get an accountability partner. Someone you look up to who you can narrate everything to and who you can run to when your resolve weakens as it would cos ur 'in love'. But hun, this isnt love its hell on earth and I wouldn't wish it on anyone.
Walk away, keep busy and accountable and in due time ur forever would come, please dont settle for less or a death sentence.
I was in a relationship similar to this the only difference is that he was physically abusive, the first time he tried it I sent isale-eko boys to him, I gave them money for 'asaima' and 'eja', OMG they beat him all colours and I took a walk, we were together for 6 years, I have since married an amazing man. Please take a long walk from him.
ReplyDeleteThis relationship is toxic from top to bottom, absolutely nothing good can come out of it for you, poster. This creature you call a man wants to dictate every aspect big your life. Let him go! Why you women in the prime of your youth and beauty feel you should settle for a beast? Woman! Woman! All life comes through you and you populate this earth, do you even know the power you have within you? Why settle for dregs? Why sell yourself so short? Rise up and go make your way in the world. The distance of this job is God giving you a golden ticket out of bondage. Let this beast go and know you are worth more than gold and don't have to settle for a beast in flesh. Eat well and take care of yourself. Know your worth and develop some self-esteem. If nobody has never loved you in this life, then love yourself with every thing that is in you. Love yourself with all that you got that way you will always be full. Pray for wisdom and the spirit of discernment daily, let they be your compass and flashlight in this lifetime.
ReplyDeleteI will forever respect and love my dad for his decision not to let any man help train his children, he only has leverage over you cos he is helping your family out financially I'm sorry to say but your family wants to sell you out as their meal ticket because of what they are getting from the guy. Please like my fellow bv's will say borrow leg from Usain bolt and run, to make your family understand the kind of toxic relationship you're in record your phone conversations with him as proof of his violent nature, I believe no right thinking parent will want their daughter to marry such a man.
ReplyDeleteWas in such a toxic relationship, was tied down cos family was involved, he was manic n abusive. I received sense when he almost broke my spine. Jumped out of his car n ran for dear life, he came back begging with family. I took a long walk not looking back. Run run run for ur life. Better men out dear
ReplyDeleteWhy are you so STUPID? The people encouraging you now will be the same people to write RIP and bury you.
ReplyDeleteTake a walk, don't be desperate. Change your phone numbers etc.
Reconnect with the previous guy asking you out.
THAT'S HOW LADIES WILL USE THEIR TWO LEGS AND WALK TO THEIR GRAVES.
YOU ANNOY ME. USE THE BRAIN GOD GAVE YOU
I try not to insult people but you're a goat.
ReplyDeleteSo, even if you dont know right from wrong, all the chronicles you read and fatal stories where either the wife or husband dies from domestic violence, all these haven't taught you a thing? Dont you ever go back to that animal unless you have a death wish. I'm sure everyone is telling you to give him a second chance because you've never TD them he beats you. Tell them all he's done. What rubbish.