STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
TOO CLOSE FOR COMFORT
Good day Stella and bvn. I am so addicted to this blog. Please don't mind my typo as I am in a hurry to write this.
I should just go straight to the point or this chronicle.
I am a lady in my early thirties, self employed and doing well for myself. I am dating a guy very close to my shop. Whenever I come outside my shop, we see each other and dating someone close to my shop is the biggest mistake I made.
I have met his parents and he wants to meet mine this April.
The issue now is he controls me and he is domineering, dictating how I handle my customers who are mostly men, he is even cheating to my face though he always says nothing is going on between them which I know it's a big lie.
Everyone on the street knows we are dating and planning to get married but now they give me side eyes when ever they see him with other girls , some even went as far as gossiping me calling me mumu.
Stella, I have taken enough of this nonsense.
The only problem I have now is how to move on. How do I handle my neighbors in the shop that knows about us?
How do I break up with him and still have my confidence intact?
After the breakup, should i still greet him or handle his job because I also render services to him. I love this guy so much, how do I handle it when he starts rubbing other girls on my face?
I don't see us being man and wife with this his character.
Please I need advise on how to handle this. Stella please use your red ink.
*If it is not working out and you feel you must end it,then end it but look for the best way to do it even though we all know that there is no easy way to breaking somebody's heart...
If he is the Violent type wahala wah oooh.
Do not settle for less babe.
Do not care about what anyone say,do what you have to do cos you are the one wearing the shoes,marriage is not by force if it will only bring you pain oh!
Hmm Follow your heart poster
ReplyDeleteU better dump that he goat and treat ur low self esteem.
Deletewhat people will say about you isnt the problem..what you feel about yourself is what actually matters!
Deleteif you continue to be in pains because of what people will say when you virtually cancel the marriage;that same people will call you "A fool" if you die in that marriage cos of him..
you just dont need to justify yourself before the world because you owe nobody any sort of explanation..
Dear,The world will always judge you for the decisions you make in life;even without knowing the choices you had..
Do what you have to do cos your happiness in life is actually what matters..
@MARTINS ABOY
The fear of what people will say is usually what makes us enter deep trouble. Poster kontinu. I am sorry for you.
DeleteSo you still care about what people say in this age and time.
DeleteOK keep suffering and smiling.
Hi poster, I've been in your exact shoes and I tell you darling letting go was the hardest but wisest thing to do, trust me, when you leave him he's going to bring more girls and rub them in your face this time, he would make you see everyone one of them, you know what to do at this point? Zero your mind and always remember he is a dog! Guess what? In the end he's going to hurt more than you will ever imagine when he sees you don't give a Fuck anymore! If you can keep it strictly business please do otherwise let him get his work done elsewhere, it's your life dear do what makes you happy! In no time, one handsome hunk would walk into your life and treat you like a queen! Let that motherfucker go NOW!
DeleteCan he read this link? That's where his solution lies at least he would know his flirting hurts you.
ReplyDeleteProve to them ure not a mumu & drop him like hot aluminium plate, you're worried about side talks, even Bill gates & MackZu, ppl still talk shit about them... Hav they ever had their share of breakup b4?
DeleteGive that chukwudi & Sons the boot, and apply make-up with smiles daily, while u laugh with ur male customers, relate with him like other shop owners.
What's love where there is no respect and trust? A broken relationship is better than a broken marriage. He is probably with you because you are self made, most men want that these days.
ReplyDeleteThe bigger mistake you'd make is going ahead with a wedding that even you are convinced won't work. Forget what people will say or think and do you.
It's only the living that people talk about and if they ain't talking about you then you are probably not living.
If you do make up your mind and leave his controlling ass it's now your choice to be cordial or not and I'm sure he would ignore you because men like that think they are gods gift to women.
Early 30's or late 40's, it's best to go into marriage with the right person. God will give you your own man who will come into your life to change it for good not make it worse.
Focus on your business and allow God handle it.
👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteWell said
DeleteYou've sad it all👍. Poster don't mind the gossiping it will only last for few months
DeleteI'm a big fan, doppel
Delete.....and who are the people that wants to talk as if they care, i recently brokeup with a guy in my street, those that knows the two of us keep on asking me about him, cos he travelled outside the country and he must have told them about the breakup. i just tell them fyn and walked away, no time for gossip.
DeleteWait first..
ReplyDeleteSomeone you love and plan to get married to cheats on you to your face and controls you.. And all you're worried about is what people will say or how to handle the situation if he starts going out openly with other girls??
My dear I don't think you are ready to move on. I don't think you are ready to take back control of your life yet! Because if you are ready, you wouldn't give a flying fuck what anyone thinks or says.. You wouldn't care how he'd feel or react when you tell him it's over. You'd just do it, take back full control of your life and them all the middle finger!
Do what is best for you!
A broken engagement is so much better than a broken marriage! Be wise
👊👊👊👊
DeletePoster,I am filled with the Holy Spirit so I can't advise you!...
ReplyDeleteI'm still under the announcing!,,,
My daddy in The Lord is the bomb!,..
Poster,come and eat sunday rice with me...
Show ur face if u bold enuf, demon. @ queen of d damned
DeleteWas that anointing? Hmm
Delete😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
DeleteLE you cannot kill me honestly!
Hahahaha hahahaha
DeleteChief chief!!!!
I'm sure the anointing made you to gbagaun....LMAO 😁
Send me some Sunday rice biko
😆😆😆😆😆
Delete* anointing*
DeleteThe Queen and the Boss.. Lol
Delete*Anointing...
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂...her account was hacked
DeleteOK.....remain under the announcing....... Announcing ko, Announcement ni. Ewu Abagana.
DeleteAnnointing. Abeg put cold 4 freezer i dey come.
DeleteThere is no two way about it than telling him. You must follow your heart, don't a marry a man that cheat on you openly, don't marry a man you can not tolerate.
DeleteChai, the Queen and boss, no kill person with laugh o.
DeletePoster, pls move on.
What others say or him rubbing other girls in your face should not let you settle for less please.... In would have said look for a new guy to ease the pain and help you when he tries to rub other girls in ur face but that is wrong... Give yourself time to heal and with time all will be forgotten.... People will always talk at first but soon something else will occupy their mind and they will switch to another topic..... Dating someone so close to you or in the same environment occasionally ends up like this and then everything becomes awkward when you both run into each other... But I believe you will be fine okay poster 😗😗😗😗
ReplyDelete☺☺☺☺☺
DeleteDis na igbo man and woman, babe damm all consequences and move. On, don't go Bellow ur standards, u can tell him to chill For now, give him d cold shoulders nd ignore him totally, no bi today yansh dey back, abegg ur peace is very important, my dear u started it so deal wit it.
ReplyDeleteDrop his silly ....... Infact over to you madam pigeon
ReplyDeleteCan't u see its not working?
ReplyDeleteOr do u need a sooth sayer to come tell u that it's not working?end things with him amicably and stay away from him afterwards.
My dear!
ReplyDeleteIt's all about you, no-one else.
Your happiness is all that matters.
So!
Have a talk with him albeit maturedly. Tell him you can no longer continue with the relationship stating all you did above and that you respect him as a person but you cannot involve him with your emotions no more.
After that, continue with your business, afterall it has been established there before your relationship with him.
Render your services professionally to him but if he is not going to be disciplined, cut off.
Be cordial with him and everyone on the premises but be disciplined and mature with your activities.
Ignore side talks and nose 'sniffers'
Be cheerful and free spirited.
Love will find you.
Cheers hun.
👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻👌🏻
DeleteSaying it just the way it is!
DeleteMarriage is to be enjoyed ND not endure
ReplyDeletecoming....
That is it, one is to be enjoyed and not endure.
DeleteHmmm this is why i can never date anyone i work with. For me its a no no.Anyways,just tell him its over and thats it. You can do it via text. I wish you well.
ReplyDelete😟😟😟😟😟
DeleteWhy are you concern with what ur neigbours will say,don't you know how to ignore people.to me that cheating on you,can't you too work it out? And see how it goes
ReplyDeleteHe probably thinks you're desperate because of your age hence his affairs. Not all relationship must end in marriage. People might give you side eyes now but trust me they'll laugh and mock you if you become is wife. Also it's your happiness, a broken relationship is way better than a broken marriage. Don't let a man like that ruin you abeg.
ReplyDeleteTake a walk if it's not working.
ReplyDeleteDon't give a damn about what people say because even when you are dead and gone, people will take.
I once dated a guy on my street and I can categorically say that it's one of the worst mistakes i've ever made. He was too jealous and controlling,it got to a point where my aunt was scared for my life,she was never in support of the relationship but you know this thing called love. After we broke up, he started bringing different girls to his place, my aunt owns a shop, so my ex will send those girls to come and buy something there. I became a laughing stock on my street. The shame was too much, I had to leave temporarily. I came back after he moved out. Up till now people still refer to him as my husband. So poster, i'd advice you move away from that area but if you can't, you gats man up cause the shame will come in ten folds but after a while it will fizzle out.
ReplyDelete😔😔😔😔😔
DeleteOh no honey!
DeleteWhy should she be ashamed?
That she took a firm decision to end a relationship that is bringing so much disrespect to her?
It is only childish, idle and people with no self value that would mock her.
Are they not the same people laughing at her when the guy carries other women, thinking her a "mumu"?
Why would they want to laugh at her now for "having sense"???
Anyway, whatever...All that is irrelevant. What matters is her happiness and worth.
Poster like I told you up there, ignore side talks and go about your business maturedly.
In life, people will always talk whether you do good or bad.
You know why? Cos talk is cheap. It costs just the mouth moving
pls take Stella's advice ,break up ,he doesn't deserve u, he's probably taking advantage of ur , don't even reason ur age,dis man doesn't respect you, he will graduate to being abusic both emotionally & physically. pls move ahead, u will find another man that loves you
ReplyDeleteCant you look for another shop and go start afresh?
ReplyDelete😈😈😈😈😈
DeleteWow !
DeleteIn this recession???
DeleteShabi you will send her customers when she starts afresh?
For what na. Poster, don't break up with him abruptly. Just release yourself gently. Gradually reduce the number of times you call or text. Don't show any interest whenever you see him with a girl. Infact become tough. First get used to the idea that he is no longer for you but everybody's cake. Start giving out your number. Correct people when they call you after him. No sudden breakup. He will definitely get the msg.
DeleteLooking for another shop is not a bad idea, it may help her heal fast. Cos the guy may want to showoff with other girls like she said. Poster if its convenient for you please move to another location. If not brace yourself and damn any side talk and gossip, focus on your business. You deserve better 👍
DeletePlease learn to damn what anyone thinks and do what you need to do. What people will think should not even be your concern at all at all. Let them think or talk. Who cares? Do they own your life?
ReplyDeleteAbeg I'm tired of these chronicles. Any time women brings a story here, it must be man and woman matter.
ReplyDeleteNa by force to read abeg swerve
DeleteLolz
Delete😴😴😴😴😴
DeletePray he doesn't burn down ur shop after u break up with him. That should be ur biggest concern.
ReplyDeleteCandid!
Delete😱😱😱😱😱
DeleteThat's if he's violent and also d way she will go abt d breakup
DeleteWhatever decision poster intends to make,she must consider his kind of person first and what to expect
Abii ooo. That was what I was thinking i would read. I thought she would say she is afraid of acid attack if she leaves him, not what people will say or rubbing girlfriend in her face.
DeletePoster you don't know anything yet. You never chi chum ching. There are some things that will happen that you will not even care whatever anyone says all you will care about is coming out of the problem. Just marry this guy and you will find out. Good luck
Babe pls break up shaperly no think am twice domineering people can be violent,please stop getting bothered about what people will think nah this same people that will start gossiping if the marriage goes sour.
ReplyDeletePoster, you know what to do but the problem is, you might end up doing otherwise.
ReplyDeleteYour head and heart are conflicting at the moment...
My dear y might be having the feeling of not getting another man soon,but u urge u to please move on, tears in marriage is not palatable at all,before u know u will meet a man that will appreciate and respect u. Trust me
ReplyDeleteCall him and tell him you are no longer interested in dating him that you should just be friends , give him reasons for him to leave you alone.
ReplyDelete👍
DeleteHahahaha the Queen and you did not invite me to come and chop Sunday rice.
ReplyDeletePoster when you were dating him, did you tell neighbors you are dating.
Abeg throw away the idiot and live your life. You can't please everyone
Breakup with him slowly..... Why are u so concerned about wat people will say? Were u dating him because of PEOPLE or because of your happiness? Please forget the dude if u know that he's not making u happy.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, breakup is the last thing to do in a relationship.
ReplyDeleteBe wise
Early 30s ain't old na...
ReplyDeleteTell him you have repented, thus no sex and you want to be in a prayer mode. Don't bring any man around where he will see you. With time, he will impregnate another woman. Don't marry a man who does not respect you!
ReplyDeleteAre u living ur life for people? End that useless relationship,it will only bring u sorrowful marriage in future,he has no respect for u. If he gets abusive as a result of the breakup,involve police or any law enforcement agency... Forget ur age,take ur time,find a good man that will respect u and make u happy,forever is too long to be unhappy... A man that truly loves u will change Bcos of his love for u. I'm talking out of experience,,u cnt change a man...
ReplyDeleteMy sincere advise since it is clear that you want to break up with him. Be ready for the heart break, Be ready because sometimes you will ask yourself why didn't you manage, But dear, you have to be strong. You need to love yourself above all. You are allowed to be selfish.
ReplyDeletePlease do not tell him that you are breaking up with him, try not to act jealous when you see him with other women. Just give him space, then more space and keep widening the gap. If you use to go to him place stop, If he had your keys, change the lock. If he comes to your shop, invent an imaginary errand and beg him to go that you will see him later, of course later will never come.
Make it subtle but be firm, do not sleep with him and do not let him draw you back to him. Just rem that you are allowed to be selfish but please maintain your pride and do not bother about what people will say. We love you
Enough of the relationship already if what you wrote here is true. Like you said up here, you have had enough already.
ReplyDeleteStay Strong. Raise your head up high and damn the consequences and gossip. Dump his cheating ass and ignore the hearsay.
ReplyDeleteYou Run your world girl! At our age, we don't need any two timing scrub. This is disrespectful enough.
Haven't you heard of friendly exes? It doesn't stop you from doing business with him. A better man is close by.
Xoxo
Poster. What I sense is that the closeness of your job to his house is the cause of the friction. I can see that you love him. You're only jealous of seeing him with some other girls. The guy might be a jovial person, that when you see him chatting other girls, you conclude something must be going on between them. That a guy is dating you doesn't mean he won't have female friends or talk to other girls
ReplyDeletePlease, don't make any hasty decision that you will regret later. Please, sit him down and ask him his plan for you . Tell him what you've observed. I believed he would reassure you of his love or tell you if he's find someone else.
Please, let him know of your feelings and give him the opportunity to explain himself, you will be surprise that its your emotion driving you to believe his flirting with other ladies,after that you can make your decision. May the grace of God be with you
I see how you easily avoided the domineering, controlling section, right?
DeleteWe know your type
Break up with him and if the outcome is desirable after weighing all options relocate your business
ReplyDeleteSister forever is too long a time to be unhappy.shine your 👀
ReplyDeleteI think you two should sit down and have a heart to heart talk. His response and actions after should now be your determining factor. It is well.
ReplyDeleteForget about what people will say but think about yourself, the highest they can talk about you both is few months and life goes on. I will not deceive you by telling you that the breakup won't affect you but time they say, heals everything. Life is too short to live in regret
ReplyDeleteLive d fool and move on jor! Na today?let d people dat wld laugh,laugh! Wen dem tire,dem go stop!my dear it's ur happiness dat matters d most o! U wd. Get anoda guy in No time don't worry!D Lord is ur Strength!
ReplyDeleteThe choice is yours.
ReplyDeleteHow do u know is cheating? First check your insecurity, and try and work out things. Stop listening to people like theirs is better. They always have things to say about other people's affair.
ReplyDeleteSome ladies are just selfish, because am dating doesn't mean I won't have friends or disowned friends that I met before u....dating you doesn't mean my attraction for other human beings are dead, just mean that I will put it in proper check, babe loosen up and free your mind. Stop listening to people
ReplyDeletegbam
ReplyDeleteDear husband, nothing will make me more happy than seeing favorite team arsenal lose a match. Ntoooooooooor giiiiiiii
ReplyDeleteTry break up with him in the most civil matter.
ReplyDeleteSay your greetings I'd you ever meet up. Keep it civil. Not necessarily friendly.
If you act like his affairs bother you, if he is childish, he will try to ridicule you. So act like you don't give a rat ass. I'd you fake it Ling enough, you gonna make it gurl. Just make sure this is what you want. I hope you find happiness and long lasting love.
Poster, before you make a hasty decision, speak with him and tell him your concerns. You may just be blowing this out of proportion. When you hear him, you will know if he cares about your feelings. If he does not address your concerns but just brushes it aside, then gradually withdraw from him.
ReplyDeleteThere is no need looking for another shop. You may lose your customers o. Please break up with this guy,endure all the pain,shame, heartbreak, mockery, and whatever. It is not the end of the world. Some of those people that will gossip are in worse relationships, but don't have the courage to walk out. Trust me,with time you will be fine. A guy once broke up with me thinking I wasn't good enough for him and I thought that was my end. But now? Hahaha I am so so so better without him. You will laugh last!
ReplyDeleteMy dear do not care what people will say, the guy won't stop even if he marries you and if you complain na dirty slap you will receive. So end it with him no matter how painful you'll feel, look unto Jesus. He will not fail you that's if you're a Christian.
ReplyDeleteYour darling friend knows what she's doing isn't right but cos of greed, lust and selfishness, her eyes are clouded from the truth staring her to the face...
ReplyDeleteLet her go find her own man and leave another woman's man alone....