Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: When The Date Heads South..

Sunday, March 05, 2017

When The Date Heads South..

Sometimes we go on Dates and it is all so heavenly and we never want it to end....

Did you read that BV's Rant talking about a SnM guy giving her 200 Naira for transport after they hung out (and probably did the Do?) Lwkmh...That was definitely a date gone wrong...

I have been on a date before with someone who never returned from going to the Toilet and I guess it was because of things i ordered for..LWKMD...Thank God,I had money to pay oh...

162 comments:

Unknown5 March 2017 at 14:32
Waiting for comments to start rolling in.....
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Miss Ess5 March 2017 at 14:32
Until he said would you follow me home and leave tomorrow. Immediately i knew i was in the wrong market
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Unknown5 March 2017 at 14:37
The date was going well until he started eating! Damn,dude chews like a goat!
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QUEENAMYLovesAccessBank5 March 2017 at 14:40
Boo was supposed to visit today, we live in a neighbouring state but he called to say he cdnt make it. I have been angry since morning, although he has visited once this year but have this is the third time he is doing this since december. I don't think I can take it anymore, he is always busy running one family errand or the other. Abeg this mummy's abi family boy thing don tire me. Is like I will put my egg in another basket
Don't know what is wrong with men, they tend to take things for granted when they meet the good ones.
In fact I'm now partially single.
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Beloved #CHIVIDO 20205 March 2017 at 14:40
Real Gist don land

😜😜😜😜😜😜👍👍👍
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Istanbul5 March 2017 at 14:44
Never had any bad experience of such so will just read comments
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STARRY LARRY5 March 2017 at 14:44
My problem is once I leave my house, to eat outside is a great challenge, so whenever I go on date, I hardly eat, and even if I order, it will be something I can afford.

*Larry was here*
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 14:46
Oh dear! Dis is for me ooooo

I rem way back wen I was still wild and wicked, tank God for christ, I met Dis very cute posh dude, very gentle manly, I got carried away, we hanged out, drank a lot, eat plenty isi ewu and Nkwobi, fish peppersoup, well E Don Tey way body see correct fuck, I checked out his D..k wen kissing him, it Was sizeable, correct sometin, so I said to myself babe, I must Chop Dis sometin, alcohol in d system, I Gaat to get my inner girl settled, na so we carry our inner madness enter Hotel, we bath, come start D Do, d next ting d dude did was to yank at My new Braids dat I just did earlier d day, na so My eyes clear ooo, headache follow immediately, I Forget wetin we dey du, come land am one dirty slap saay wetin wan cus dat one, my head almost fell off, which kain animalistic play be dat, even d grigri, ghisghis, clear from our eyes, I tell d dude say, so dis your gentle manlyness na camouflage, say dude be animal, na so d guy d beg, dat e likes wild Sex, na so we come dey find panadol, na iceblock dey my ahead all tru, couple wit hangova, d next Morning, I just told him to come drop Me off, it was later dat I got to know d dude was happily married wit a preggy wife, so all d action na my body he wan unleash.
Very annoying sometin.
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Villager5 March 2017 at 14:47

Whu he sore an othered frum hinstagram was difrent frum whu was delifered
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Sabongida Ora cutest5 March 2017 at 14:50
I'll be reading comments
Cant recall any
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 14:52
Was on a date with one very OK dude, as de brought in my peppersoup, very cute lady walked in sat opp me, I was just giving attitude, dat who is dis one, I noticed my date was fidgeting, d woman ordered plenty tins, told d man to pay, asked for his car keys d guy handed it to her, she pack all her orders and drove off, I was like shey na jazz, I shook my date if he was OK, and asked who she was, he said my wife, nd dat was her car, and he v spent all his. Money paying for her order, I was like so wat would happen to my own order, he Wass like I should borrow I'm he would pay me back, FOR. LAGOS! U wy I don't know, liar again, b4 he finish d story, I carry my bag waka commot, let him sort himself
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Broomstick5 March 2017 at 14:53
Lolz. I remember my first(and hopefully my last) blind date. We met at an eatery and dude just kept staring at my boobs(I'm over blessed). The one thing he'd told my aunt that made me agree to meet him turned out to be a hoax. Imagine someone who claims he's passionate about novels unable to mention even one author's name. I started praying the date just ends cos dude was boring as heck. Time to pay for the food, the idiot propositioned me. I quietly brought out my vex-money, paid for the food and walked out to his chagrin. I collected my money plus change from my aunt. I can't shout abeg
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jasmeen5 March 2017 at 14:54
Hmm that reminds me.we met online and scheduled a date.guy came from another state to abj to see me o.he told me he was parked outside as i went out na so i see one weatherbeaten honda civic 1986 model.then i was driving a 206 o.my mind just cut.i suggested we go see a movie at silverbird.the car take time to start o i come de pray for my mind make i no jam any person wey i know for there.we reach there sha see the movie.i come dey hungry i tell am say make we enter nandos chop chicken.my guy just say make only me chop him no go chop.i insisted he must chop.guy was very uncomfortable.as bill come i see guy de struggle to bring wallet out, notice say him dey sweat small.i come jus bring out cash from vex money pay.it was obvious he was so unsettled.as we were going out he insisted he wd get ice cream for me.i ges that is what he budgeted for.He was so nervous during d drive home.as for me when he dropped me home i was almost certain that is d end of our date.how i go date broke guy like that ? Next daay he called and i was like im not around i have to travel wit my mon to minna urgently.that was d only date we had that visit.but the guy sabi yeatn better for phone and he savi chat sweet chat we connect wella.i say make i give am second chance.
Next visit omo he spoilt me silly.he was driving camry 08. He ecplained that his car broke down that first date he had to borrow a friend's.he was cash strapped because his car chopped d money he had to change somethings.he now said that was his most embarassing date ever but he was impressed by how i handled it and kept chatting with him.he thought id never agree to him again.
Long story short we are married now for 6 years.he stil doesnt know i faked a journey to avoid him after our first date.
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Unknown5 March 2017 at 14:54
My own is I always go on date with vex money so when the guy starts acting funny I just take cab and go home jejely.
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Unknown5 March 2017 at 14:58
While serving in fct I met one man like that, we talk, chat, hangout in abacha barracks the fish there dey give me life and one particular Saturday i was broke with no gas to cook, man called and i told him and he offered to help, told me to come out, picked me and headed to federal secretariat his office me no know say dude wan collect doggy style ooo haa I told him I am in my period he exploded meanwhile im don spend money for my head and never collect oo and na period dey always be my excuse. But na day i dey broke and I no need that kind talk, im vex drop me for road chaii thank God say i carry 200n,when I reach house the man called and apologized picked me up again gave me the money while me promise to make it up with so many styles of gbenshing after the period na so i run and no see am again till I leave fct. Chhaii I miss that town make una find federal job for me now I take God beg una lol, I should probably send my syb hehehehe
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beeolah5 March 2017 at 14:59
Let the comments roll
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 14:59
Went clubbing with my guy, got a card from a toaster thier, he followed me to d toilet, we met d next day @ for a date, where we were enjoying ourselves, I just recieved one dirty slap on my face from. Behind, I didn't boda to find out d ssource of dat thunderous slap, I say my lategreat grand mother in d sky telling me Welldone,I knew dis was a sign of death, if I stay longer here na die ooo, I ran, everybody where wondering was happened, I saw my man pursuing me, shouting dat he would kill me, na so date scatter.
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 15:00
Hmmm where will i start?

There was this guy I met. Very nice. He would call me twice daily. Always checking up on me. When I was ill in school he came to my hostel and brought enough drugs and provisions even an arabas chocolate cake. I was so impressed. He even gave me a small prayer book. My friend's gingered me to date him but I was just not ready.

One day I finally decided to go out on a date with him. We went to a restaurant and his table manners were awful. Like he felt the need to Talk whenever he had food in his mouth. Dude will be drinking water and still want to talk. He was also very loud. Couldn't stand all of that. Went back to my hostel and told my friends. They insisted that I should date him because I can always change him. That table manners wasn't aids. It could be cured.

So I didn't say yes but started spendng a lot of time with him. Movies and dinner dates. I never went to his house because he was busy at work and i at school.

So one fateful day I attended a church program which ended late so i called him to crash at his place. His house was a nice 3 bedroom apartment. I wanted to sleep but he said we would first pray together. During prayers I noticed he was holding my hands and hugging me "violently". I was put off but I let it go.
Stella at night this guy pulled a kemen on me. Just that he was naked. I was so scared I lost my voice. Stella inorder to maintain peace I let him dry hump me all night. I am sure if I didn't cry like a baby and promise him that he would disvirgin me when I was ready to have sex he would have actually raped me.

Early in the morning I carried my bag and said I was going. He said let him make breakfast for me but I declined. He was drinking something from a mug and asked me to close my eyes and take a sip. For peace to reign I said let me just take a sip thinking it was coffee. Stella the stench of urine hit me squarely. WTF. I threw up right there on his floor. To think i had occasionally shared kisses with a urine guzzler. He said his mum made he and his siblings drink it every morning and he still does till now because it is medicinal. At this point I just carried my bag and walked out.

Till now i can never pick up his calls. Still can't tell my friends why we don't talk. He called and even visited my hostel before I graduated bearing gifts and cash. I made sure everything was returned to him. I cant deal with such a pig.
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Unknown5 March 2017 at 15:01
some girls are funny they will go on a date with a guy they hardly know and they won't go with any money, ordering and ordering orishirishi thinking the guy is capable of footing the bills (are u in his wallet).

owerri guys are guilty of this, no wonder those lousy ones are been used like rags.
Nigerian ladies give yourselves some dignity when on dates and carry some money. some don't even carry Tfare back home.
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Starjoy5 March 2017 at 15:07
Thank God it all end well, i have never experience such before but I will continue to read comments
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 15:08
Met one dude called ola, a divorcee, we where suppose to go watch movie, someone dat was playful and nice, when we got to d mall, na so dis guy come dey form boss, dey caution me like small pickin, e even bcame rude self, we got to where we to pay for our ticket, I was like pay, e. Was like u brought me out, u wanted toWatch movie, dat I should pay, I was like for Real, I. Just paid for only my ticket, bought my popcorn and drink and entered, e. Wa like u didn't buy for me, I just walked away. Did as if na fly dey talk Fool waited for me outside, wen I was Don I was shocked to see him outside, I just ignored nd he followed begging me dat he is sorry dat he didn't carry. Enuf money with him, dat he is hoping dat I loan him 3k to fuel his car, WHO DOES DAT! I just ignored stopped a cab and left, last word I heard from him is, Wat is wrong with me, why are women running away from me, should I go try gays?
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 15:21
I don't go on dates don't know if I am cursed with broke guys they expect me to foot the bills telling me in igbo that my father is capable. Team single o
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Just Fab5 March 2017 at 15:37
I went on a date with a guy at zodiac hotel and as we were eating his phone kept ringing bt he refused picking,next thing a girl walked in and started shouting on him o,saying that she came to swim and saw his car at d car park i just left them am went outside bt the girl is even nice because she came outside to apologise to me for the embarrasment.me i refused seeing d guy after then
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FINNY aka SWEET TROUBLE 5 March 2017 at 15:40
Chai my people my first date in school was a disaster. So i meet this cute fine anambra boy who was a guru in 400level during my matriculation, he asked me on a date and i oblige only for me to eat one very spicy indomie my evil friend made bfor the date. He took me to eat and play and before i could place my order i heard this thunderous sound from my stomach, chisos na so i begin sweat like goat. I had to loose the lace on my sneakers still the thing no do, i loosen my belt for where i was still sweating, i dint have any hankerchief na so i just dey wipe the sweat on my face with my hands choi i just had to do 360 degree scan with my eyes looking for the convenience i finally found it,you all needed to see the beautiful smile plastered all over my face. The speed i use in reaching the convenience ehn was close to the speed of light. I sat down on the toilet bowl thanking jesus for saving me from epic disgrace. I finish the do only for me to wash my hands and look at the mirror that was right above the sink and discover my make up has shifted base, the mary was on one side and the kay was on the other side. I dint come with my make up to brush up so i kukuma wash my face with the liquid soap in the toilet i came out looking so funny the guy had a very good laughed he ate and all i could do was watch him. I just wanted to go back home and fuck my evil friend up for messing me up. Twas so funny ehn nigga was a gentle man he bought me take away and tooke home. He still teases me when ever meet.
That was the worst date i have ever had

*hangs leg on the wall*
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Pffft5 March 2017 at 15:41
Had a date with a supposedly uber sophisticated man.

He had a cold.

Unfortunately, he was also apparently allergic to tissues, hanky.

He kept snorting the phlegm in his nose back into his throat.

You know that sound you make when you don't want to blow your nose and you just drag the mucus back from your nose, down to your throat, swallow it and allow it mix with the food in your throat and fall to your stomach.

I wanted to faint.

I have a hyperactive imagination, I kept thinking about how the thick balls of yellow/grey mucus would mix with his food and drink...

And even at that, he was masticating with such relish, slapping his tounge against his teeth... Can't even complete this...

Worst date ever...
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 15:48
Am a guy. My blind date is as follows. I was in third year, I met one fresher,in ma mind I don hammer. I asked the girl out, she agreed. Later in the evening, I called and asked her where she prefer for the hanging out. She picked the most expensive eatery in school then. I said no wahala,afterall she dey first year. We got to the joint, I asked her to order sth,this babe opened her mouth and ordered fried rice, salad,chicken,ice cream and pie,ha!!! I was like " me neva chop sth like dat since dey born me". I told her OK I went and got her coke and meat pie. She got annoyed and walked out on me. She wanted to go with d coke and meat pie, I told her not to touch dat thing o. Naso we end up. Girls wicked ehh!!! Anyway shaa,it is better to ask a girl out wen u have some "change"...
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 15:51
My own na,we have been chatting o,we never see,so the day to see come,na so i arrange myself with correct make up and better human hair way long reach yansh,omo i reach there dey expect correct guy with better ride,my people una know wetin him take come,him enter okada,hia me upon all the shakara?,ok make we find somewhere chop na,him say make enter one mama put(God),we come enter o,make i order food na,him say make we take only malt,haba,i say no wahala o,my own na make i comot for there,time to pay,him dey form no change,(kuku keee me o),na so i pay o,i reach house that day i just enter room dey cry say na so my luck be?
He called all through the night but i refused to pick,when i eventually picked the next day i told him not to call me again,but guy kept calling ,so the next weekend he asked for a date,i simply told him to take his food money o while i will bring mine(yes am blunt like that).Lol and behold when i got there i saw the greatest shock of my life he cleaned up so well,with better ride,i come say,God don catch am today,i was like maybe he has borrowed to impress me,wetin 'consign' Me,i come chop that day eh...even carry for my friends,long story cut short i never knew that he was a top shot in a multinational coy,he has built his house,well educated gentle man to the core,so handsome ,carrying,respectful,The gooeness we are happily married with the cutest son that make people to always say aww each time they see our son,and am on daily salary,I asked him what happened on the first date he said he did it intentionally cos babes have been chopping his money.To God be the glory.
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 15:53
Please will baptist church wed a couple already with kids?
Is ikeja registry certificate same as ikeja's certificate?
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Bolaji Bernard5 March 2017 at 16:12
Lol...this happened to my cousin way back..he hooked up with a lady on social media and it's all lovey-dovey before he met her physically...on the Day they met I w l to be around to see his angel that he has been so crazy about. When she got to his hood he went to pick her up and I was waiting anxiously to see the lady only for m cousin to return home alone after a short while...I was so surprised and asked him about the babe only for him to tell me she has gone back,he intentionally quarreled with her on the road so that he wouldn't have to bring her home because she has a huge bow-leg and she dressed in a funny way...I couldn't help but burst into laughter as he has been so into her...he has never seen her full picture before up until that moment and my guy is a very selective guy...I fear blind date o
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Unknown5 March 2017 at 16:20
The date was going on well until he said "after the meal id like us to go to a cool and quiet place to chill"
I just form "lemme use the restroom" and disappeared
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 17:11
My awful dates hmmm!mk I give dis jist!it was wen I was uni, lasu den, my friends and I, met some guys in town dat now came to pick us on Friday to go to club! We all got dressed,excited we whr going to town to club dat we forgot to carry our vex money! Dats hw after clubing, ds guys now took us myslf and 2of my friends to d hotel o! In dia mind de wd hv us one one each,cos de whr 3 in number too!omo na so we para o! We refused o! We told dem dat we all want to sleep togeda in one room!dat de shd get dia own room and sleep on dia own too!do u knw ds guys paid for one room for us, and wen we woke up d nxt day,we found out dat dos guys drove off and left us! Na so we com de stranded o!dats hw we had to live d hotel in our club cloths d nxt day wch was sunday and trekked to d nearest bustop and started begging cars to carry us for free! I tink we got a samaritan dat pitied us and gave us a ride or so!i can't realy remember!beht I sha know we got to d hostel dat sunday seriously laughing at ourselves! Since den,we de alwys carry vex money wen we won go out!no be small tin o!
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Flourish cleaning supplies chemicals (wholesale,retail small chops and cakes. 081675618265 March 2017 at 18:09
Mine was one fair handsome guy like that when I was in 100l. Dude took me to Mr Biggs. He ordered for Fanta and thereafter asked me what I will eat. As q cool girl that I was, I wasn't really a foodie so I said nothing the idiot just exclaimed thank God cos I can't afford to buy anything else as I used my transport fare to buy your drink. I just walked out on him leaving the half drank fanta in the table. The guy grabbed the drink and followed me. We met in school some minutes later and dude was fukping the drink down and still telling me hi. He was so broke and handsome. I just hands off his case
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 18:48
Was waiting for my 'supposed' date in a garden bar. He had told me to order for anything I want while waiting for him. I ordered barbecue fish and a bottle of wine(Carlo Rossi).Naso o I begin chop d tin o. 30minutes pass,dis guy never show. Called him again, he picked d call and asked me to wait for him... He's on his way. Hmmmmmm... Last last, dude didn't show up and I was stuck with d bill.Had just 200naira on me.phew! Na so I look up and down,my heart racing,immediatelyd bar man walked towards me and told me that 'the guy over there wants to see you'(later found out that the guy-who wants to see me- was the manager) . Na so I use sense o, I told the waiter to tell the guy that I'll join him if only he pays for my drink and fish.lol *eyes closed. As God would have it, d guy settled the bill o,even came over to my table and we got chatting. In my mind I was like 'God thank you o'. What would I have done if the guy didn't pay. Meanwhile I was a secondary school graduate then and a very stubborn child plus popsy and mumsy didn't know I was going out on any date sef. Kai... Lol...I used to like food eh, especially fish. I'll go out on a date just for fish, then when dude asks me to come to his house, I'll give one excuse or the other,but I guess that day was the last...lol
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Jennah5 March 2017 at 20:11
Mine was beyond awful. The idiot insulted me and all Ladies that we are whore, we deserved to be raped and manner of rubbish. I was just begging and pleading with him because I can't just imagine that kind of gat mam on me. Since then I distance myself from igbo guy because the man is one.
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 20:27
I went on a date, he took an excuse from me that he will be back, i demaded for drink and chicken, the receptionist came to me that the guy wanted to see me, i asked her at where? Do you have and other bar apart from where i am sitting, i stood up and walk up to her to understand what she was saying, i saw the guy coming out of a room, i went back to my sit, he came to me and say that we should go in and relax, that he have already paid for the room, am like u would have told me your intension earlier finally i lecture him, that you do not have to take a lady out for sex.
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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 22:19
My parents were out of town and I went out with my gf and her new friends(two military guys).I paired with one of them(a young short captain from Calabar). He was so funny and made me laugh. We proceeded to the club afterwards.Danced,drank and all.

Time to go home,these guys insisted we must go home with them.Ah ah!Me and my friend exchanged looks. I went to her and asked her WTF is wrong with these her friends?She said I shouldn't mind them that they must be crazy to say such just because they took us out on a date.

After much argument I told my own guy dat I have to go home, bla bla bla. They agreed to drop us o. So I bid my friend goodbye and headed for 'my bf's' car while she (my friend) entered her own Bf's car.On our way, this guy didn't utter a word. I was just pointing to him the route to take. Finally we got to a roundabout,and dude finally said something.He said 'ur house is very far and I'm not conversant with this area,U know I have to drive to Jaji tonight.Pls get off my car' (Jaji is the name of a military base in kadunastate). Meanwhile,it was 3.oclock in the morning,no cabs, no bikes and everywhere was dead quiet. I just quietly got out of the car and banged the door with all the strength I had.

This guy zoomed off o. I took off my heels cos it was very high. My Cloth also was skimpy. I was just praying to God in my heart to lead me home safely. As I was walking,very fast too, a car filled with guys passed all I was hearing was whistling, hailings and all. I just ignored them and was praying they don't turn around and come and kidnap or hurt me.

Finally I got home safely. The next day,Mr Captain pinged me on whatsapp.Immedately I saw 'hi' from a strange number, I just checked the dp and when I saw its d guy from the previous night, I just clicked on d delete button. Met with my gf and narrated everything to her, she was just laughing and narrated her own story,but her own guy was kind enough to give her 1k for tp. He was married too, maybe that's why he behaved mature.

Since then, I never hangout at night with ppl I don't know.

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Anonymous5 March 2017 at 22:22
My parents were out of town and I went out with my gf and her new friends(two military guys).I paired with one of them(a young short captain from Calabar). He was so funny and made me laugh. We proceeded to the club afterwards.Danced,drank and all.

Time to go home,these guys insisted we must go home with them.Ah ah!Me and my friend exchanged looks. I went to her and asked her WTF is wrong with these her friends?She said I shouldn't mind them that they must be crazy to say such just because they took us out on a date.

After much argument I told my own guy dat I have to go home, bla bla bla. They agreed to drop us o. So I bid my friend goodbye and headed for 'my bf's' car while she (my friend) entered her own Bf's car.On our way, this guy didn't utter a word. I was just pointing to him the route to take. Finally we got to a roundabout,and dude finally said something.He said 'ur house is very far and I'm not conversant with this area,U know I have to drive to Jaji tonight.Pls get off my car' (Jaji is the name of a military base in kadunastate). Meanwhile,it was 3.oclock in the morning,no cabs, no bikes and everywhere was dead quiet. I just quietly got out of the car and banged the door with all the strength I had.

This guy zoomed off o. I took off my heels cos it was very high. My Cloth also was skimpy. I was just praying to God in my heart to lead me home safely. As I was walking,very fast too, a car filled with guys passed all I was hearing was whistling, hailings and all. I just ignored them and was praying they don't turn around and come and kidnap or hurt me.

Finally I got home safely. The next day,Mr Captain pinged me on whatsapp.Immedately I saw 'hi' from a strange number, I just checked the dp and when I saw its d guy from the previous night, I just clicked on d delete button. Met with my gf and narrated everything to her, she was just laughing and narrated her own story,but her own guy was kind enough to give her 1k for tp. He was married too, maybe that's why he behaved mature.

Since then, I never hangout at night with ppl I don't know.

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HAPICHIC15 March 2017 at 22:54
I no get any date to remember.
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Anonymous6 March 2017 at 16:17
I do this alot o.
I have been on a few dates lately where I try to disguise.
Recently in one of the SnM of last year, I met this chic. We bonded so well vis chat. She was so cool.
From the blues she asked how much I earn, I told her 45k. To my greatest surprise Stella, this babe was still very much down with me. I was humbled because I expected a different reaction.
Finally we agreed she pays a visit to PH (She resides in Asaba).
When she came, I went took a taxi and met her up at the park from where we also joined a cab home (My place).
immediately we stepped into my compound she started acting strange, as I opened my apartment she became afraid/suspicious and she asked me whose house I brought her to, but i calmed her down.
Babe shock when she see machines parked outside and they're all mine. lol
The good part of it is that she spent the weekend and we didn't gbensh, she was surprised I didn't even come unto her like most of us guys would do.
Actually immediately I saw her at the park, I knew she looked different from her pi but she was still very beautiful, but not exactly what I wanted.
That said, till date we still gist and share ideas every day. I help her out when she needs me. She has even once send my better ogbonor soup and stew through a friend that was coming back from a trip to Asaba.
We are very very cool. Almost like one of my little sisters. LOL
My SnM chronicle.

Going on another date soon, and YES I intend pulling off the broke guy stunt. its fun to act broke when you aren't.. Guys should try it.
Start humble, don't go showing your blessings to strangers from day 1.
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Sunday, March 05, 2017

When The Date Heads South..

162 comments: