STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
OH MY GOD!!!
Aunty Stella, thanks for this platform. I really need your advice and from my fellow blog visitors.
I will just go straight to the point
I am in my early twenties,still in the university. I had no hope of going to the university until I met this guy three years ago. He will be 31 by June.He is so nice and caring and loves me like crazy. When I got admission to a private university,i knew that my family does not have that kind of money, yet he stood by me, has been the one paying my fees plus catering for everyone in my family,my younger sister is also in the same school,thanks to him.
So,when he asked me to marry him in 2015,i agreed because I knew he loved me, and was willing to do so till the end of time. I loved him for being nice and for understanding and when I tell him I hate cooking, he cooks anytime I'm home for these year; I have even learnt entering kitchen all day.(lol). Even when I told him I can't marry him because he is short and I am way taller, he laughed and said our kids will be tall.
Yet I married him..
Stella, he was just too nice. We had our traditional marriage in December 2015, was supposed to do the white wedding early 2016,but my school fees was increased and being that he caters for everyone in their family despite being the second son plus my family,we decided to shift the wedding till the upper year.
Now, a lot has happened since last year. And that's where my problem started. I was raped and gotten pregnant. The way he handled it when I told him was just surprising...
Now, a lot has happened since last year. And that's where my problem started. I was raped and gotten pregnant. The way he handled it when I told him was just surprising...
He said I should keep it, that he does not want me to die from abortion, and all that, I convinced him after crying and begging,he agreed. He was there for me during that trying time, I went to hell and came back, he was just praying and crying with me until I recovered.
The way and manner he changed from good to over good was just something else. He lives in Abuja, and my school is in the East,yet we talk like we are very close. Abandoned the building of his house in the village because my school fees and family is taking the whole money, even when his salary is below 300 hundred thousand naira. He now insist we are getting married this August and wants me to start plans,but anytime he brings it up, I buff it off.
Stella, I feel I can't manage a home,i feel I can't give him kids, I feel I don't love him again,i feel I don't want to continue,i feel used,i feel it was my fault I was raped plus pregnancy. The worst part is that we stopped having sex after that incident because anytime he comes for it, unconsciously I will start screaming and shouting. And he will start crying and consoling me. I feel I am not going to be the right woman for him if I walk down the aisle. Help me Biko. Am I just being immature or what?
Aunty Stella help me,use different pens I need help.
Aunty Stella help me,use different pens I need help.
Oh my darling...you need help and counselling..oh dear oh dear!!!.
Please leave whatever advice you have here for her,I dont know if it is a good idea giving out her email address cos it bears her name.....
Noted
ReplyDeleteOh no so sorry dear,all this questions are because of the rape incident, you will get over it with time.am so sorry ,you will be fine with time.
DeleteGive a woman a good man and she will take hin for granted. Give her a bad man and she will spend the rest of her life fighting and enduring domestic violence.
DeleteYou cannot get a man that has it all. You will win some and lose some. Focus on building a career with a family and a man that worships you because looks will fade eventually and when that happens, the only thing you have is the legacy you have established. This is facts.
But let me tell you the fairytale you want to hear: Leave him, there are hotter guys out there that will treat you like a queen. They have six packs with a fat bank account and trips all over the world..and they will never cheat on you or beat you or make you feel less a woman, and will love you unconditionally even when you are raped (especially if you were raped when going to visit another guy). This is the superstory you want to hear, so leave him.
What are u noting? Oooh chim ooooh.
DeleteMadam fraudster borrow sense now. Stop wasting space
DeleteYOU MUST MARRY THIS MAN!!!
DeleteHis type is one in a million!!!
Sorry about your rape... you'll be fine. You MUST NOT hurt this guy at all. He is Heaven sent!
Poster, don't let him go. You will heal in time no doubt.
DeleteDear poster, I'm so sorry for what happened to you. You cannot hold it against yourself.
DeleteAlso, you are not immature at all, you are going through the trauma.
You need to see a therapist, a counsellor whichever, you jst need help to get through it. Traditionally you are married right? So whether you like it or not you are His wife. He has stood by you through all this, I'm sure you don't need me to tell you that that's a good man right there.Dont break His heart, He may not recover, and you'll regret it for the rest of your life.
Please try therapy, and back up with prayers, Jesus is good for your soul.
You'll be alright.
General zod pls just stop already. R u blaming her for being raped??? I was raped and I know what I went thru to heal. What she is going thru is not easy. Rape is something that can lead to suicide. My dear poster I know how u feel. But u see u have to let go. Thank God u have support. That was what saw me through my ordeal. Open ur heart to ur guy and accept his support. U will surely heal. Good luck my dear
DeleteWe women have problems honestly. U feel this way cos he genuinely cares for u. If he treated u like shit U would come here crying about a loveless relationship. That being said u must marry him. Yeye pikin
DeleteYou will be just fine, with him you will be fine. Trust him
DeleteSorry dear poster, ps don't let him go. This is the kind of companion everyone craves deep inside. Someone who would stay by them through thick and thin. One who loves unconditionally. But there are just a few people like this.
DeleteYou're only experiencing the usual hatred/ fear/insecurity/restlessness and traumatic experience that comes wiv rape.
I got a narrow escape from rape back in school yet I felt terribly traumatized but couldn't share it and it affected me academically. I became a shadow of myself but the moment I was able to share it wiv some mature person, he advised me and encouraged me thru. Months later I healed. It was a gradual process.
So try not to be hard on yourself. It is never easy dealing wiv it, but wiv time and that man beside you, you would get better faster.
Don't lose him now. All u need is more time wiv him. It's a psychological thing and it was never ur fault that it happened. Stay wiv your man, you won't find another like him. Don't allow this horrible experience steal your lifetime joy wiv a real man. He is already your husband. You aren't alone. So many had to deal wiv this all by themselves and it was harder for them.
Love you.
Stella ps post
Marjorie
I agree with you General Zod. We take the good ones for granted. Babe, why waste this man's time and resources if you knew you weren't going to marry him?
DeleteChai! He is an angel, you need counselling though. It is well with you..
ReplyDeleteMay be you have never loved him but what you are gaining from him the reason you are having cold feet now. No good woman will be having a second about her angel.
DeleteYou are still traumatized by the rape incident dear. You need to see a counsellor asap. You are already his wife traditionally so you are married anyway. You will be fine once you get help. Please don't leave that man. You may regret it for life. Some bv's may recommend counsellors to you, please contact one.
DeleteBabe, start planning your wedding. The next man you meet may be a mistake you will live to regret. The problem you have is psychological. You will bear him kids. You shouldn't have had the abortion though. Invite us for your wedding 😚
DeletePoster sorry about what happened to you but am a little bit confused about how you feel,you have someone who is ready to carry on with you even after the ugly incident yet you are giving up on Him, anyways it only means one thing maybe you never loved Him. If you think he's not the best man for you please leave him for the next lucky girl and continue your search for the charming prince. One Man 's fish they say is another man's meat. A word is enough for the wise.
DeleteExactly, you have never loved him, that's just it. When you got into the uni you realised how hot you were, how are we sure it wasn't your school bf that raped you. Sorry for judging but aunty if you don't not marry this guy He can go to God in prayers and I pity you, you can't play with someone's emotions for years, you don't even deserve this man. Oh Lord pls give this igbo guy the right wife cus this girl isn't serious
DeleteI don't think you love him as much as he loves you,but what you and your family can get from him, if not you wouldn't be having cold feet about someone who loves you this much.
DeleteCandy & Push
DeleteIt is not how u guys see it o! One needs understanding to know exactly where this poster is coming from .At this point she feels lost. She's lost touch wiv the life she once knew. All she needs is time to realign her thoughts. Trust this, she is not thinking straight and that's the usual feeling after rape. If she is not properly counselled she would make horrible decisions. Let's try to empathize wiv the poster. I felt like and desired to kill the person who attempted rape wiv me. It's a psychological thing and only time wiv good counsel and the ryt company(her husband) will be useful here.
She's not on the level u guys are talking here. Here mind has been tampered wiv by that incident. Rape victims totally can relate wiv this story and the aftermath.
Poster, like everyone has been saying, hold your husband tight. You will have to decide to get back the life u once had. Don't let this fall be your end. Life comes wiv its struggles and it isn't fair on anyone either. Be determined to sail beyond your present. Fix your mind ASAP.
Stella ps post.
Marjorie
Poster watch tango with me. It will help you a bit. Now you are not sure you can manage a home after this man has done all these for you? Please fear God and stop draining the man with your family ish since you are having second thoughts. Count yourself lucky you have this good man.
ReplyDeleteIt is well
DeleteYou don't have intention of marrying him from start,you thought he will fuck up along the line so that you can have your way but he didn't, when you talk of rape (I suspect you cut something a out"you visited another suitor and he forced you to have sex) I feel your story is edited. You don't have any trauma you're just trying to dance to the tune of your initial script. Even if you marry this guy it's obvious You don't love him genuinely, you felt tied down by his overall support and you don't want to be ungrateful but you are already. I will suggest You write part 2 of your story and address the following.how you really got raped? Are you cheating on him before? Are you faithful to him? Do you really love him or sympathetic love?.
DeleteFirst of all, you need to stop holding the rape against yourself. I'm sorry it happened to you, it could've been anyone of us. You need to heal completely, you don't need to talk about it constantly, you only need to decide you won't let it hinder you from living a happy life and make a conscious decision to fall back in love with your man. Wow a man who loves you in a way you believe God is real! This is what 99% of people spend a lifetime searching for. Marry him, together you can move on in life.
ReplyDeleteI have met a friend who was raped by seven boys, in fact my aunt with the daughter and friend that came to visit were kidnapped and raped severally for more than three days, you can imagine your mum being raped before your eyes while you watched without doing anything. It took time but they have all moved on. The daughter just got married last December.
DeletePoster you better not lose that angel in human form, you will regret it for the rest of your life and if you are waiting for death to come end it hmmmmm that won't happen too. People have seen worse and will still experience more. You don't know what we ve been through in real lives so dust it out and start afresh cos life is too short.
U need a good councellor and u also need to work on ursef.
ReplyDeleteLet me read comment 4rm the G and C student then, am gona point out some things
Mc pinky
What do ladies really want?
ReplyDeleteI dont even know. Everyday different story.
DeleteWhy planning on leaving a man that has stood by you.And you didn't give the full details of how you were raped and if you still have the baby except I didn't read well. Don't try it leaving that guy, he has already done a lot for you but you can tell him to give you some break.
ReplyDeleteDid you even read the narrative at all?
DeleteObviously not because your first comment was "noted".
And what do you need the full details of how she was raped for?
Do you want to publish her story?
Someone says she was raped and you're looking for details, my friend, be sensitive!
You want the details of how she was raped? You are truly sick. Depraved if I may add. What is wrong with human beings mahn?
DeleteHaba! She obviously needs to see a counsellor.its a lot to deal with. Nigerians have the habit of saying 'move on' no she needs to deal with it and sort that out before marriage.
DeleteAll the best poser. May God soothe you now and heal you body soul and spirit Amen.
You want to write a novel on how she was raped? You are such an idiot.
DeleteDO YOU READ? CAN YOU? SOMEONE PLEASE TRANSLATE THE CHRONICLE TO HER LANGUAGE FOR BETTER COMPREHENSION.
DeleteDear God..don't know what to say. But dear you need counselling and also just pray hard..is not easy..God is your strength don't even know what to say about that good guy. But let Gods will be done..remain blessed
ReplyDeleteWow such a nice young man who deserves to be happy.
ReplyDeleteYou should see a counsellor and let it all out. It is not your fault that you were raped please stop blaming yourself.
How about your parents? Where are they in all of this?
Please do not marry that good man out of pity because marriage is a life long process and no one deserves to be miserable in it.
At least you are honest about your feelings, please try to communicate your fears with him and go see a professional to assist you. Trust me you'd feel a lot better, it might not help you to love him again and I also feel you never loved the guy seeing as you made fun of his height.
For now, you need to work on you first and let this man go gently. He has gone over and beyond for you. He deserves affection from someone willing to offer it, you're not in a good place right now and till you seek help you'd always feel this way with every other man.
But she is already married to him
DeleteShe said they already had their traditional marriage.
What they are waiting for is the church wedding
Nice. But let him go gently how? She is His wife oh
DeleteSorry but if it's not a court or church wedding they are not legally married in my opinion.
DeleteBride price can be returned and she already said she isn't sure she loves him anymore.
The guy doesn't need to continue to suffer over something that isn't his fault and he has no control over.
Love is not pity "oh he has done so much for me let me marry him since it will make him happy".
He has done everything that many men these days won't do yet she is still unsure.
We are all imperfect people searching for a perfect love, and it seems you found it already. He's already your husband so... what stops you from being the best woman for him?
ReplyDeleteOh sorry have read that side, was aborted
ReplyDeleteIts either you feel stifled by his over goodness, you feel hes too nice and that he might end up expecting more than you can give. Or you need to see a shrink to help you get over the rape trauma and eveeything that cane with it
ReplyDeleteSeek counselling please. I'm so sorry you were raped. Guys like don't come easy. Don't let thr past ruin your future. Be strong for yourself.
ReplyDeleteI wish you all the best.
He's a good man.
DeleteYou better make him happy as he's your husband already
Dear God..don't know what to say. But dear you need counselling and also just pray hard..is not easy..God is your strength don't even know what to say about that good guy. But let Gods will be done..remain blessed
ReplyDeleteAfter the rape he told you to keep the baby, you said "I cried and begged and convinced him . . ." and stopped there. What did you beg him for? What did you do; abort?
ReplyDeleteIf really you aborted that baby, then look at what happened in Exodus the first chapter; those women were given families of their own because they spared innocent kids. If your life with this "nice man" was riddled with this blood of the innocent, then you broke the law of God in meddling with humanity. There is innocent blood on your hands and God hates those that shed it. That baby did not rape you; did he. Look again at proverbs six verse ten to sixteen and see where he said that he hates hands that shed innocent blood. Before this incidence, have you aborted before?
There is a difference between being married and having "a family"
There is a difference between having kids and having "a family of ones own"
Peace in a marriage is what guarantees a home.
Now so suddenly and so strangely, you do not want a home? You are the one rejecting it yourself?
Repentance and peace with God can guarantee you your peace and the view of the marital institution in a good light. Good wishes.
Pls stop playing holier than thou. Do you think it's easy to have a child out of rape? And when that child is old enough and ask where is my father u'll tell the child he or she is fatherless. My dear pray this kind of a thing doesn't happen to you or your family member. She has prayed and God has forgiven her. I only advise her not to leave this guy if not she'll live to regret it. How many men can stand their woman being raped and still love them without being irritated? He saw u tru school and u come here to look for opinion or your trying to leave him for another guy Becos he is not tall. You should have rejected the short guys money na. All this wicked girls having luck up and down and we good girls keep meeting bad guys. God help you.
DeleteThanks akudo. Asides the issue of asking who his father is and all, she may jst severely hate the child and even bring more of God punishment upon herself.
DeletePeople like this need love and support not guilt trips and judgement.
Thank u akudo. Don't mind this useless anon. People who have never been raped advising and castigating rape victims. Mscheeew
DeleteTufia. You are one of the reasons why people spit on nigerian christians. Look at the nonsense you just typed. Our God is not an un forgiving deity like the one you worship. Tufia kwa, go and sit down you self righteous person. It is your type who sleep around and do the uncountable evil things but look for who to bury in their pain. You are NOT Christlike. Go and sit under a true and broken teacher of the Word. Find out who God really is.
DeleteYou met an 'angel' and you are just scared of 'hurting' him.
ReplyDeleteYou will be fine.
You just need to love yourself,
be thankful for everything and look forward to the very best.
You got a good man. Don't allow the devil creep in with all of these negative thoughts.
Remember that's what the devil does best, steal, kill and destroy.
Don't let him have a hold on your happiness. Conquer him!
Cheers hun!
Madam..u just don tire !!no carry dt rape thing talk nonsense..I was raped too,got pregnant n all so I know...You just dont feel love anymore,actually you dont anything. ..I suggest you take time off,find yourself again ..you will be fine..n pls gv dt man mad sex before em look outside
ReplyDeleteYou read my mind. Poster rape is a sensitive and touchy topic. Were you raped at all? Or did you have a fling, get pregnant and blame it on rape. I don't know if it's me but your story doesn't add up, I feel you are hiding something. If you were really raped then your relationship was put to the test and he stood by you. What more do you want? He should be the one unsure about the relationship not you. Please tell yourself the bitter truth. Guys stop taking over responsibility thaf doesn't concern you. How can you be taking care or her parents and her family, are they handicapped? Now the girl is about finishing the university she's looking for a way out.
DeleteNobody the way U r talking I think u actually loved ur rapist. Good for u. I was raped and my reaction was exactly that of the poster. If truly u were raped madam nobody then check urself. U have not healed. U sound like u relished the rape.
DeleteThis is a psychological problem, go for psycho therapy pls. Dont lose a good man, dont hurt him, he has been good to you. God will see you through, my mum is a psychologist if you need help.
ReplyDeleteOoooh dear , u need help, if u work away now and wen u get back to your normal sense you're going to regret it! Like Stella said you both need counselling. Please don't leave him now u can build up yourself to start loving him....... No one should insult did babe I am begging cos she's been through a lot ......
ReplyDeleteSo many men in his shoes will not even believe that you were raped in the first place.
ReplyDeleteWhy did you have to kill a baby that this man that loved you so much wanted you to keep; why?
Must you shed blood?
I pray that in my lifetime, I'd understand the psych of we women!
Why do I feel d poster wasn't raped?
DeleteYou thought by telling him you were raped and pregnant he will abandon you but d reverse was d case..dear poster you never loved this guy but rather you were enjoying d gain of d relationship....pls tell that your school boyfriend to FREE You..cos he has no future for you..Imagine your statement.
"Even when I told him I can't marry him because he is short and I am way taller, he laughed and said our kids will be tall." Really?!
"He now insist we are getting married this August and wants me to start plans,but anytime he brings it up, I buff it off." Are you kidding me?!!
Before Y'all come for my head..this is my opinion and my cyber space..
God bless you @ ebony.
DeleteY is it that ladies don't cherish good guys?
Assuming he was carrying out jungle justice on you, u won't be thinking of leaving him. Shior!!!!
U jst said my mind odiegwu
DeleteEbony you are a stupid retarded bitch... shut your mouth already
DeleteEbony you are a stupid retarded bitch... shut your mouth already
DeletePlease dont let go of this man,renew your mind possibly through counselling like Stella suggested.
ReplyDeleteSorry to add the burden seems too much will advice that your family should start a business that will be fetching in money instead of always depending on this young promising man.
I need such a man in my life
ReplyDeleteI deserve to be with such a man.😔
Poor darling 😕😕
ReplyDeleteI'm so very sorry for all you've been through, I imagine it hasn't been easy! But you are a lucky girl cos in your man... You have an Angel! You have someone who loves you more than life itself,a man who will sacrifice everything for you!
Dear do you know how rare that is? Such men are very few in this our world and you my dear, should consider yourself extremely lucky to have him in your life. Please, please, please I beg you... Do not break that man's heart! Do not leave him bcos now you have doubts! Do not divorce/separate with that sweet man for any reason in this world! He loves you and that should be enough... What else do you want? He was with you through your trying time when many other men would've rejected you and the baby! He took your burden and that of your family as his, without complaints! And now.. You are having doubts?
I'm telling you the truth now, if you leave that man now, he will not survive it and I fear what he will do to himself and you as well.
Go for counseling together or alone if that will make you more comfortable, you need to get over that fear Asap! You need to move on from that past experience and enjoy the love you have in your life!
I really hope you don't end up making the wrong decision... I hope so! Hugss
It's well with you
Sorry for what you went through, please seek help, willingly summit yourself to be counselled so you can be fine.
ReplyDeleteYou guys have been married since so long as your bride price has been paid, just need you to know this. It is well with you.
Babe I most tell u d truth first an second year into marriage is the most difficult time into it, don't worry u would soon start loving him again. I know u feel as if you're in prison that's how it is wen you move out of your former house to start building a home. All this would soon pass by PLEASE just be patient..... Start loving him again. U can do it
ReplyDeleteYou need counselling and prayers
ReplyDeleteYou need to seek the face of God to know his will for you
You can't leave him like that he won't be able to take it
Tiwa
Girl, I hope you know what you are doing, u need someone to talk to you. Now you feel you don't love him? Watch him turn into a monster when u walk away while using the rape incident as an excuse of which he stood by you n supported ur decision. I sincerely hope, for ur safety you don't dump him. A bad experience can change an angel into a heartless being.
ReplyDeleteThe girl knows what she is doing,shey he is very short amd she is way taller?so she didn't know all this before he started paying her school fees and also feeding and clothing her family shey?usuing rape as an xcuse that's if she was raped atall
DeleteMy dear you are terribly traumatized. You really need counseling. Can any BVs recommend someone to her please? Unfortunately, unless you deal with this issue, it will follow you into every relationship. I am happy you have an understanding partner, very very rare!
ReplyDeleteThis is really sad.
ReplyDeleteOK,he has done so much for u,even stood by u when u we're at ur lowest n now ur not sure again if u cn continue?hmmm,its ok,love ain't by force madam,u can just walk away,the decision is urs
ReplyDeleteYou don't need help, you need better cane..😬😬😬😬.Where's that my cane sef
ReplyDeletePS, drop his number here so that good girls will contact him because you re just a wicked soul.all these while he was catering for you, you didn't feel bad now it's time to marry you feel you don't love him again, you must marry him o Or I will help him knack pigeon on your head.😠😠
What is this nonentity yarning? Poverty stricken nini! Has it gotten to this stage?
DeleteMay thunder fire your useless mouth, I'm sure you don't ve quarter of what I've earned when you were my age that's why you are so bitter.foolish bitch.I know you are a woman and one of those useless lots here.Thunder fire your useless generation that will remain poor for life.useless anon, you think everyone here is a churchrat like you? Frustrated gwegwelina
DeleteKeep your mouth shut u this edo witch! Did you read the narrative atall? Or you ran to comment and ask for number as the prostitute that you are. No empathy to a girl that is clearly going through trauma at the moment. Only abusive words and name calling.
DeleteI don't know why ugly girls are mostly vindictive. You are really a nonentity as the anon earlier stated. Ashawo right from birth!
Kidjo pray u r never raped. As for ur childish curse to fire the generation I hope u know say the curse dey follow u cos all of una Na the same generation. I beg u r too aggressive. Small pickin.
Delete@anon20:12..why re you calling me a witch?Did i kill your unborn children or you killed them yourself through numerous abortions.its only an ashawo that can point out another ashawo, dear anonymous group of old gwegwelinas, I can see you ugly ducklings re having a fit over me on this blog.well don't hate me because I'm young and beautiful, if there re 5 beautiful girls here,I'm sure I am the most beautiful person out of the five so I understand where all these hatred is coming from.
DeleteYou old gwegwelinas re fat,shapeless,ugly (your comments depict this) and old why I'm slim,figure 8, beautiful and young.
Keep having sleepless nights over me and discussing my matter in your useless lesbian gatherings. I dare you motherfuckers to use your id, local champions, cheap sluts.
Your entire family are bastards and nonentities. Old ashawo that re pained because I'm spoiling market for them,no more patronage abi?come😅😅😅😅😅 lemme give you some dollar wads.
Kidjo never liked you.but for this your comment 👍👍👍👍chop 👄💋💋👄💋💋.
DeleteWow, such a man, poster please go for counselling, you need professional help ASAP, dont lose that man because you wont find better..
ReplyDeleteStill in awe, where you meet that one abeg??
How were you raped?
ReplyDeleteIn my uni days, my then gf began to complain about a guy that was threatening and stalking her. I decided to back her up but my COMMON SENSE kicked in. I asked her how he got her number and knows her locations. She couldn't answer. It turned out that dude actually chyked this babe and had been to her apartment and that of her friend to check up on my babe. That was how he knew her "hideouts". It was when it dawned on her that dude was a cultist whose game plan was to threaten her to be his bitch by force that she decided to bring me in. Thank goodness I have SENSE!
So I ask again, how were you raped? Did you see a fresh tall school guy from a wealthy home and began to cheat on ur man with him (even if in a flirty way)? Then when the guy turned out to be a monster, you told your guy?
Or did you knowingly cheat on your guy and when you found out u were pregnant, you lied you were raped? Lots of ladies have done this. They will deny but in their heart of hearts, they know they have done this.
Or did you go to ur neighbour's room to charge your phone and he forced himself on you?
HOW WERE YOU RAPED?
You see young girl, I get the impression you are lieing. Your conscience is hitting you and that is why you are feeling the way you feel in ur last paragraph.
I have one word for you...KARMA
IF YOU HANDS ARE CLEAN, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT.
You are smart. I knew that girl is playing games. When will guys learn not to train babes? Don't pay their school fees.
DeleteMen that pay babes school fees have low self esteem
Thank you,i am sure if this story was from a man leaving a woman, Bvs would lay multiple curse on him
DeleteHypocrites
Anon... Take a chill pill.
DeleteYou have spoken well. Poster n gbo how did the rape come about.
DeleteWeldone jare. I believe she's keeping some part of the incident away from her story.
DeleteJust want to use the rape as a getaway route. You never love him but his money from the onset.
This is such a silly thing to write
DeleteThinking same 15:33.
DeleteI don't believe that rape story.
The guy is short, and you don't like it, yet he is taking care of your family and his? You want to bankrupt him? He even stopped building his house because of your school fees!
You are already married! Traditional wedding is more accepted than church wedding because he has paid your dowry! Church wedding is just a blessing. You better put your head back in factory re-set and go ahead with the church wedding.
You take his niceness for granted. But be warned, every human being has their limit. I pity the guy more, because you don't love him.
Men and their views. A rape is a rape
DeleteDid u think its only love that keep marriage longer or u just move out wen u fell out of love? HELL no that's wen the work to build a happy home begins! Love it just a plus in keeping a happy and long lasting marriage! There are times u fall out of love with your spouse , respect ,understanding, caring,character etc that he/she has towards u is wat will keep u calm during those trying times before u start loving allover again. My dear be patient you will start loving him all over again......
ReplyDeleteLove Jack actually a plus when it comes to marriage
DeleteUnderstanding, patience, tolerance and friendship is what keeps a marriage going. So that those days when you are out or love with your husband, these other things will keep you going.
OMG I feel very sorry for u partaining to the rape issh,that stuff is so depressing and fustrating, I realy think u need counseling pls before the incident would turn u to sometin else.
ReplyDeleteWhen I say women don't know what they want, someone will accuse me of hating on women. Poster, you are freaking annoying. Your relationship with this guy is one-way. He does everything and gives good loving, but you give nothing in return. My friend, if you know you can't manage a home, go back to the gutter where you were picked, and let this guy find a more comely and homely lady who is deserving of his love. You are an ingrate who doesn't deserve a good man. You even complained about his height. Just imagine! My friend, you better shape in or ship out. When I was reading your chronicle, I thought you wanted to seek advice probably because you got raped and your boyfriend's attitude towards you changed. Thank your lucky ass you didn't meet a guy like me; I'd have jilted your ass. You are a freaking liability and a cry-baby.
ReplyDeleteVery true Greedy bitch, ingrate
DeleteNo mind am. The poor guy has carried out the responsibilities of her parents and now you want to chicken out. Even if the guy doesn't do anything to you, do you feel his "eleda" or spirit will allow you to go scot free? You want to do chop and clean mouth as a smart girl that you is abi? Wehdone girl.
DeleteHmmnn.. You can imagine her excuses. Sorry for the rape once again but you just want to offload this guy and you don't know the best way to go about it.
DeleteGod will so fuck with your life if you think you can walk away from that young man after spending so much on you and your family. Im not swayed by your excuse.
You definitely need counselling. All shall be well
ReplyDeleteStory............
ReplyDeleteForget you feel this, you feel that, you never loved him.
Exactly, she never loved him. She was just with him bcos of what she was getting.
DeleteImagine making fun of his height.....
Exactly from the beginning she never loved him
DeleteUser liar idiot
You only added rape to gain sympathy, nobody rape you,you got pregnant from cheating
Ewu anuofia
Thank you. I was afraid I was the only one that saw through her bullshit. @Poster just go for counselling as regards the trauma from the rape.
DeleteGod bless you for saying it the way it is. 😘
DeleteGood thinking.to the poster he was just a means to an end she never loved him the way he loved her.its unfortunate you got raped though
DeleteYour healing starts with you accepting the truth
Sorry poster for what you went through. Stop the self blame and accept that you deserve to be loved as that guy loves you. Pray to God to heal you from that incident, and help you move on. This guy seems like a nice guy, and I think you should marry him. Not just because of what he has spent for you, but because men like him don't come by so often.
ReplyDeleteWent through what?she didn't go through anything,liar pant on fire.she never loved the guy,it's all because of his money.Her story does not add up
DeleteYou need healing of your soul.
ReplyDeleteYou fall my hand big time when you convinced this man to have an abortion; too bad!
It is common with rape victims! I am one. I'm yet to get over it,....i still can't sleep!
ReplyDeleteU are really immature to think after all d love, care, most especially the money he spent on you, you will just leave him like dat, if u do better be ready for anything dat happens to you...
ReplyDeleteShe should be ready because peace will elude you
DeleteThe girl is just a greedy thief.It's now she knows he is short,she didn't know before abii?
DeleteOmg!!! This is sad, but I will advise that you both don't get married now until you are over the pain you going through.
ReplyDeleteRap can leave you damaged for life but with proper counseling and prayers you shall overcome.
Sorry sweetie, you need to start taking baby steps into recovery. It will not be solved in one day... see a shrink or a church counselor.
I pray God heals you!!
My dear, I don't know what you're going through but the way I feel after reading your chronicle right now, I know that God is there for you.
ReplyDeleteOh dear.
Have u had the baby yet?
You're really traumatized. Please get counselling from a born again woman of God and a professional.
I've been going through some trying times recently and my mum said to me: "you don't know what God is preparing you for, be strong". I'm saying that same thing to you now.
Stop beating up yourself. It's not your fault. How can it be your fault? Do we go out daily planning for evil to befall us? No. Be strong baby. *hugs*
My deare, if a man loves you regardless of whatever, please do not let him go. Pray through the situation beg for more time to heal if need be. Never give up on him. Research about people who have violated and how to pull through. It is well with you.
ReplyDeleteThere's no such thing as angel. He's gained and gaining something from you and no it's not busu, that's a common commodity.
ReplyDeleteBut that's not the crux of the chronicle is it? No. You feel inadequate. You feel 'less'. Unworthy. Spoilt.
I've been there before, no i wasn't raped, but my girlfriend had an abortion for me and despite my being there all thru she withdrew. Note, just like you it was her idea, I was ok with having a child. But the maths didn't work out for her: School, family opposition to baby mama, her dad's good girl, junior ones looking up to her. Hmmmmm.
We had the abortion, baby girl withdrew like a snail into a shell & never came out again. Till today it hurts, the baby, her inconsolable pain, she sent text that seeing me reminds her of the abortion. She's married, plenty kids now.
You're young, benefactor or not (he earns about 300k and does all these?? Fishy!) don't marry him yet. Delay a bit, see if he genuinely doesn't care about the rape, then decide. Finish school, get a job. Let time dictate.
But I suspect that boy sha.
Suspect him for what ? Armed robbery.
DeleteWhat is this one saying?
DeleteU sound stupid(all d time).She should not marry him? Did u read d chronicle with ur anus? Did u not read where she said they were married traditionally? U keep trying to sound like u are intelligent but u are dumb as fuck.
DeleteU have succeeded in telling us ur own story that doesn't have anything to do with her story..Ur gf got pregnant for u and d poster was raped by another...What's d similarity?
U are bipolar.
Dat he earns 300k doesn't mean he don't have side jobs or contract work..Everybody cannot be broke ass and lazy like u..i have friends who earn less than 150k but they own houses and drives good cars..
Ode..there are many angels out there..dat ya to a beast doesn't mean others are like u..He gained nothing from d girl..abslouteley nothing..pls tell me what he gained from her..Her tohto? Tohto full everywhere..so get d fuck off u lame dumb ass..Ur comments are annoying
Stop trying hard to be noticed.
Hmm you are still seeing him as a short person look at him again and you will see something that you like about him don't be ashamed the same thing happened to my aunty to be truthful she can't go anywhere without the husband she keep on falling in love with him each and everyday even though he is short wishing you all the best
ReplyDeleteLiar.you are not raped. It's either the pregnancy is for him but you don't want to keep it cos you don't love him or it's for someone else. Rape? No. it's now you want to start asking questions about your love for him abi? Wicked gal. If you don't marry that guy you will see what will happen to you. You do go private university see correct clean guy you wan leave your helper. Witch.
ReplyDeleteExactly my thought.
DeleteDon't mind the bitch,
DeleteTayan Taylor welldone o!continue trolling people under anonymous mode ok.cheap okpolor poor oloshi
DeleteMy dear. Don't give him up. He is too good to be given up. Most young men can't fit in his shoes. Whatever is telling you or making you believe that you are not good enough for him, is a lie from the pit of hell. About the rape, if you are a Catholic, I will advice you go quietly to the chapel and speak to God. He sees our heart and has solution to all our problems. He is your comforter and the only true consoler you need now. This is Lenten perioperiod, go for confession. If god forgives you, try to forgive your self also.Draw close to him and you will find inner peace. Try and forgive your self, stop living in self pity. Pick up your life and shine on.Jisike
ReplyDeleteU need deliverance
ReplyDeleteLike stella said u need counselling.
ReplyDeletePS: can someone with an HND certificate apply for a master's degree in canada or PGD, answers will highly be appreciated.
It's pgd you should apply for , next is 2yrs masters degree. Goodluck.
DeleteTheir application requires a fee $100 estimate
Goodluck
Dear posted I can only pray that God will comfort you.Rom 8:28 say all things work together for good for them that love God and are called according to His purpose if only you will turn to Jesus right now He alone can give you the healing you need.There is a lady can't recall her name right now she also suffered same fate as you was raped while in school but today she is married and has kids she runs a foundation that counsel victims of rape maybe you can Google her or seek another therapist to walk you through the recovery stage both you and your husband cos you are married traditionally already he had been there for you all this while pls don't pay him back by leaving him you both should go for counselling and also entrust your lives into God's hands He will surely come through for you.It is well with you. God's blessing upon you and yours.
ReplyDelete#blessed and highly favoured.
One step at a time, one day after another. Peace, love and joy will come. Just try to relax, don't overthink. Thank God for loving and supporting partner. Don't shut him out. You both need to talk to a professional and then jointly come to a decision that works for you two. But you will be alright. Time has that gift of healing.
ReplyDeleteWhoever raped you, if you know must be brought to book whether you keep the child or not. But you must do whatever it takes to move on from it. Life happens but we have to go on living and we must choose whether to spend it wallowing or living to the fullest. Let no none take your joy away. God bless you both.
U need counseling....
ReplyDeleteOh dear!!! I think you are traumatize my dear and it's understandable.... You seriously need counselling ASAP. This is devil lurking around to steal your joy.
ReplyDeleteCounseling is the best dear and it really shows that this guy loves you no matter your flaws.may God heal your wounds.
ReplyDeleteGod will see you through. Make your decisions snappy so that you don't lose him to other ladies..!!
ReplyDeleteArghhhh.
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with u. He is ur angel.
I bet u cnt get any man close to that again.
I understand u dnt love him. But hey YY give him plenty chance and love him consciously.
Go for counseling dear. And try to forgive yourself please. It's not your fault it happened but you're letting it run your life and future happiness. A man can love you that much don't ever doubt the fact that you're loveable. I pray you heal sweetheart. God be with you.
ReplyDeleteFix it lord
ReplyDeleteMy dear you need counseling. Try and search for one because the guy is tooooo good for you to loose. Please try and look for a psychologist. It is not your fault you were raped. Just to encourage you I have also being raped and got pregnant and terminated it. Today I am married with 2 kids.
ReplyDeleteGo for counseling dear. And try to forgive yourself please. It's not your fault it happened but you're letting it run your life and future happiness. A man can love you that much don't ever doubt the fact that you're loveable. I pray you heal sweetheart. God be with you.
ReplyDeletestory for the Gods!!!
ReplyDeletewhat advice can we give to a fake story.
it means u loved his money not his.
I pray my enemies makes this type of mistake this guy made.
building castle in air
I help you say amen ! @ Okereke.
DeleteI thoight i was the only thinking this way.
Once you start believing that it was not your fault you got raped then you will start to heal. Seek help.
ReplyDeleteNawa o. Someone did all this for you now you remember he's short. You are too young for marriage, can't have kids etc.
ReplyDeleteI know a lot of people that got married at 21 though they were finished from school. Both have now been married for 10 yrs or so and they are doing very well in their marriage with kids and a career. Though they waited like 2/3 yrs into the marriage before having kids.
This is very wicked, you waited for this guy to put you and your sister through school, helping your family and now you think he's not good enough. You are heartless poster.
If you had all this doubts, you should have told him he's not your type and you keep wallowing in poverty at home. Tell him to carry his help to another family. But no you waited till he changed your life. This is wicked.
Dont mind the useless gold digger. These chronicle posters must really think we are all naive. After choping the guy you are now looking for an easy way out. From the narrative i can deduce that you never loved the guy..only with him for the money. In short i blame the guy more. In this present century a man is still sending a girl to school??? Even catering for her family. May my enemies be like him...mumu of life! Now see where it has landed him. The idiot of a girl is contemplating leaving him after attending a private uni. May God punish you and your family for your wicked plot. I pray the man sees through you and do correct jazz for u!
DeleteDear poster, you'll be fine, trust me. You just need some length of time for rehabilitation reason which, I'll advice you put the wedding on hold. You both sure need counselling. Let me say this, You are a woman and have been hard wired by God to play your role as a wife and mother, effectively. Never buy the idea, you can't manage a home, it's not rocket science.
ReplyDeleteMarriage/Relationship Counselor.
You have one of the best man on God's earth in your hand. Don't let go of him. What you need presently is counseling to help you overcome the trauma of rape. Don't let the rape thingy deny you of happiness. It's has overcomed you once, don't give it a second chance. And my dear, about your relationship don't allow Satan the devil pour sand in it oooo, ask the single ladies and even some married women on this blog some of them will kill to have such man (no offense meant) Remember, when the going gets tough the tough must not get going.
ReplyDeleteTraditional marriage means you are already married to him, instead of waiting for him to initiate sex why not make the first move as this will at least put you in a comfortable position unlike the rape scenario where the tout or touts came at you first.
Understand that you can't run away from sex forever, you owe this obligation to your husband.
You know what, there's a book I always read when I'm having difficulty especially family wise, the title is YOUR FAMILY CAN BE HAPPY. Please permit me to copy and paste a part that can be of help to you.
How to Solve Problems
As you and your mate start your life together, various problems will arise. They may result from differences in how each of you thinks, feels, and approaches life. Or problems may come from outside sources and unexpected events. It can be tempting to avoid reality, but we are advised in the Bible to face our problems. (Matthew 5:23, 24) You will find the best solutions to your problems by applying Bible principles.
DISCUSS THE PROBLEM
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “There is . . . a time to speak.” (Ecclesiastes 3:1, 7) Make sure that you spend time talking about the problem. Honestly let your mate know how you feel and what you think on the subject. Always “speak truth” with your mate. (Ephesians 4:25) Even when strong emotions are involved, resist the urge to fight. A calm answer can keep what should be a simple discussion from escalating into a battle.—Proverbs 15:4; 26:20.Even if you disagree, remain gracious, never forgetting to show love and respect to your mate. (Colossians 4:6) Try to resolve the issue as soon as possible, and do not stop communicating.—Ephesians 4:26.
FOLLOW THROUGH
WHAT THE BIBLE SAYS: “There is benefit in every kind of hard work, but mere talk leads to want.” (Proverbs 14:23) Agreeing on a good solution is not enough. You need to follow through on what you both decide. This may involve hard work and much effort, but it will be worth it. (Proverbs 10:4) If you work together as a team, you will “have a good reward” for your hard work.—Ecclesiastes 4:9.
WHAT YOU CAN DO:
Decide what practical steps you will each take to solve your problem. From time to time, evaluate your progress
TACKLE PROBLEMS TOGETHER By working together, you can ensure that your marriage will be strong and happy rather than weak and miserable. (Proverbs 24:3) Look to the future, and do not bring up past problems. (Proverbs 17:9) When you cooperate with each other and apply Bible principles, you can handle any problem successfully.
Counselling. You will be fine. You are passing through a difficult time. Slow down and take it one step at a time. If you don't have money for counselling please buy books that will lift your spirit and inspire you. God bless you.
ReplyDeleteAll you need is counselling and lots of love. You will be fine and you have to keep saying that you are a Victor and not a victim. Also you will need encouragement. Wish I can give you a hug and tell you that you will be fine and embrace all your fears.
ReplyDeleteChai. May help locate you soon.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
ReplyDeleteHope you haven't found another guy and looking for a way to ditch the guy because he's short like you said.
If that is not the case, then you need help(counseling), meanwhile you can also help yourself by letting go of your past, that helps.
She's looking for an avenue to ditch the guy. Simple and short.
DeleteHmmm...dear you need counselling but please don't let him go Since he loves you after all that happened
ReplyDeleteYou sound carefree even bf the rape. And I feel u dnt really love dis amazing guy. U over labor him too. Why on earth wil u nt enter kitchen despit comin frm a poor family, wat use ar u then, bae u re just usin d guy nd u ll never find another lik him. His curses on u wil work if u disappoint him. Am sori abt d rape, lik I said u re too carefree, hope u re ok now. Pls go for cousellin and deliverance. Hold fast to that wonderful man. In all, I dnt lik the way u came off.
ReplyDeleteNo use at all. Poor but still entitled. So after all what the guy did and is still.doing for you he can't even boast of a decent meal from you. You are even boasting of your inability to cook. Idiot! I'm sure you have cheated on him plenty times.
DeleteThank you, Im just confused. The story doesn't add up. Go for counselling and try to be a good wife to him, just try OK, wake up everyday with a renewed determination to love him. God bless you and your husband. You can't leave him now o, dont try it. There are some "gifts" you don't collect from people because it will definitely tie you to them. He has done too much for you and your family for you to mete out such cruelty on him.
DeleteI agree wit u stella,u nid counselling cos a rape incident leaves d victim traumatized...go c a counsellor,try n build up d luv u once had 4 him bk n most importantly dough hard try n kip dt rape side of ur lyf n focus on d future...
ReplyDeleteI agree wit u stella,u nid counselling cos a rape incident leaves d victim traumatized...go c a counsellor,try n build up d luv u once had 4 him bk n most importantly dough hard try n kip dt rape side of ur lyf n focus on d future...
ReplyDeleteA good counselling will do justice to your traumer
ReplyDeletethis is so sad. pls see a psychologist.
ReplyDeleteGo for counseling as Stella as suggested. One thing for sure is that,no matter what has happened to us, life goes on dear. You deserve to be loved and cater for, which you are already getting. Your children deserve the most caring and loving dad, which I know this guy you've said is good at. Stick with him cos he knows and accept you as you are. The next guy you are going to meet may treat you as trash. You can back off if only you are willing to remain single for the rest of your life. If not, think well about it and stick with him cos of your coming generations. I know it ain't easy dear but, whatever life throws at you, just make the best out of it by being happy and never let it weighs you down, cos life is too short to worry so much about it. E-hug dear
ReplyDeleteAwww Baby!! Am so sorry and I feel sad for you but you need counselling dear..You were raped and its not your fault and u are not acting immature..You are obviously traumatized and you need to take it easy on yourself and him and please try not to transfer your annoyance on ur husband pls.He has a hear of Gold, both of you are in this togeda and you will weather the storm..**ehugs, runs away to cry in toilet** am so sorry...
ReplyDeleteAwww Baby!! Am so sorry and I feel sad for you but you need counselling dear..You were raped and its not your fault and u are not acting immature..You are obviously traumatized and you need to take it easy on yourself and him and please try not to transfer your annoyance on ur husband pls.He has a hear of Gold, both of you are in this togeda and you will weather the storm..**ehugs, runs away to cry in toilet** am so sorry...
ReplyDeleteSO TOUCHING STORY,,,,,
ReplyDeletei dont know if i can send you my email or i should just advice, babes that#s your soul mate, i have walk in similar shoes so i know what you going through, the guy loves you and yes he might think about it sometimes we are human its normal , its all in your head , at a point in life we always overthink things tho somethings dont last forever but until then enjoy the love and care he is showering you , this is the first time am commenting HERE and its because i dont want you to lose a good man,
If you leave him yes you will find someones yes, but we human we are sometimes vulnerable and you will someday sometimes share the untold story with the new man and he might end up hating you
Enjoy it while it last and stop thinking about what if, i was rapped by my own step brother and my mums cousin, so yes i know how it feels so my dear stop thinking about what if and start thinking about the positive part, lucky for you he loves you so please my little token is for you to learn to love him and he will love you in return ,
you dont have to marry him because he has spent on you do so because he is a good guy and yes you learn to love him its all in your head
-TX
Hmmm aunty you told him he was short and he laughed it off then you got raped and he believed you?he takes care of your whole family?he earns less than 300k a month?and he copes well with all these responsibility?please p,lemme be your shopper from the Lagos markets u hear?dont u even try to leave that gentle man!!!!!!
ReplyDeletePlease marry this man. Love doesn't keep marriage good character does. Please o!
ReplyDeleteLiar.. Just say you r done wasting the poor guy's time and resources. Go ahead and leave him cos that is obviously your plan from the onset, to use him to rescue yourself and your family from poverty and then run away. Wicked soul. All of a sudden now he is short. Go ahead oo , go back to the gutters where you picked from. Poverty stricken ingrate. Do not make his life miserable by marrying him when you obviously do not love him. I mean,how can you be so despicable?? Even if you didnt love him before, for the fact that he is standing by you in this 'dark time' (assuming its true) should even make the love to germinate. Rape ko Rapist ni..His world will not come to an end if you take your cursed self out of it. Rather it will enable him meet a better and more deserving woman to take care of him and pamper him forever. In this world,what you sow is what you reap. Please you and your useless family should return his bride price money immediately ,so that he can start putting his life back together. The earlier the better. God will restore all he has lavished on you worthless fraud. Amen!
ReplyDeleteLiar.. Just say you r done wasting the poor guy's time and resources. Go ahead and leave him cos that is obviously your plan from the onset, to use him to rescue yourself and your family from poverty and then run away. Wicked soul. All of a sudden now he is short. Go ahead oo , go back to the gutters where you picked from. Poverty stricken ingrate. Do not make his life miserable by marrying him when you obviously do not love him. I mean,how can you be so despicable?? Even if you didnt love him before, for the fact that he is standing by you in this 'dark time' (assuming its true) should even make the love to germinate. Rape ko Rapist ni..His world will not come to an end if you take your cursed self out of it. Rather it will enable him meet a better and more deserving woman to take care of him and pamper him forever. In this world,what you sow is what you reap. Please you and your useless family should return his bride price money immediately ,so that he can start putting his life back together. The earlier the better. God will restore all he has lavished on you worthless fraud. Amen!
ReplyDeleteSorry you were raped. Don't blame yourself for that.
ReplyDeleteMeanwhile, you are not a nice person. Someone went thru the stress of putting you and your sister through school and now you know he is short and you can't marry him?? Even though he was there for you after the rape? Even though he has been nothing but kind to you?? Really?? You don't know you have a good man until you loose him. This is what I can say to you..
You need a good psychologist and pray for inner healing
ReplyDeleteWhy do I feel d poster wasn't raped?
ReplyDeleteYou thought by telling him you were raped and pregnant he will abandon you but d reverse was d case..dear poster you never loved this guy but rather you were enjoying d gain of d relationship....pls tell that your school boyfriend to FREE You..cos he has no future for you..Imagine your statement.
"Even when I told him I can't marry him because he is short and I am way taller, he laughed and said our kids will be tall." Really?!
"He now insist we are getting married this August and wants me to start plans,but anytime he brings it up, I buff it off." Are you kidding me?!!
Before Y'all come for my head..this is my opinion and my cyber space..
Come for your head ke? You just made a valid observation.
DeleteAnon 15.23 Gbam! I agree with you. That rape story sounds suspicious otherwise she won't be having all those doubts in her mind now! A man that has done all this for you and you're still having doubts? God himself will punish you if you leave that man!
ReplyDeleteMy dear. Don't leave him.. I know how you feel. I have been there.. I have been raped.. Nd I shut out everyone.. o cldnt properky love any man.. so I decided to stay away from men because I knew tht I didn't wna hurt a good man because of the mistakes of one selfish evil rapist person. My thought is postpone the wedding .. doh break up with him because the way u describe it is obvious tht deep down u still love him... you need to Go to God... It really helped me... and also Go for counselling.. that is more important than u know.. I don't mean church counselling! because the church has a way of making u surpression ur feelings instead of being truthful.. go to a real counsellor or therapist.. I promise I helps.. Nd then go to God kn prayer.
ReplyDeleteGood luck
Sorry about the rape but you are not a sincere human being. He trained you and your sister, laboured, cooked for you while you brought nothing, absolutely nothing to the table.
ReplyDeleteUou are only buildijg story around your rape, you never love this guy, you are a wicked soul. You brought it here now with the hope that we are going to give you the green light to move on.
You need validation right ? You are a wicked soul for tagging the guy along all these years.
Fuck with the guy and watch God punish you for your wicked ways.
She brought nothing to the table. Even to cook sef. She really used the guy. I hope he gets to read this, decode that she is the one that sent rhis in and do correct jazz for her. Now she is seeing the shortness after cleaning his account. Useless lot!
Delete👍👍
DeleteA very wicked girl. You want to turn a good man to a beast for the next babe!
ReplyDeleteAmen
ReplyDeleteI am so irritated because I hate double standards. After all the years of putting you and your sister through school in addyto sponsoring your family, you now remember that he is short! Where is the 'tall' man that allegedly raped you, because that story sounds spurious!
ReplyDeleteIf you were in his shoes or if he was your brother, be truthful to your self- How would you feel.
Hmmnnn.. You just made a valid point now. "Where is the talk man that allegedly raped you ?".
DeleteBuh Babe, your family doesn't have money yet you chose to attend a private university - foolishness. You never loved him, you just stuck with him cos of the benefits. After paying exorbitant fees and feeding your family, you want to leave him. May God have mercy on your soul. Horse Rider!
ReplyDeleteAs a guy i wonder why nen rape
ReplyDeleteHow do you even enjoy it
The trauma you cause ds victims for life is not even worth the few mnutes enjoyment.
I hope this man will not end up like my now ex husband. Ladies, never, ever tell a man things like these. It is better to keep quiet and ask God for forgiveness and true repentance. Believe me, it's not worth it. There was this guy that I was dating before I met and got married to my now ex. In fact, my now ex husband knew about him and asked me if I was still seeing him, I foolishly told him the truth because I was still indecisive and was confused as both were chasing me relentlessly. To cut the long story short, I eventually got married to my now ex but I never had peace in that marriage. He was always and I mean always talking about the other guy, also competing with someone who I had stopped seeing, to the extent that he would make love to me in the morning for 2 hrs before going to work everyday even when I was on my period. The reason being that I would be too tired to have sex with the other guy should I go out to meet him, as he believed that I was still seeing the other guy. He had a friend that knew the other guy and would always enquire about the other guy from that friend. If the guy bought a new car, he too will buy a new and better car. When he heard that the guy had moved to Lekki, he started making plans for our family to move from our own house, to a rented house in Osbourne Foreshore.
ReplyDeleteHis insecurities were out of this world and I wanted out. He however did not want to let go as he felt he had invested too much in me. He saw me through Uni. He would threaten me that if I try to leave, he will kill me, the children and himself.
He then gradually graduated to hitting me and afterwards will cry his eyes out and beg me not to leave him. I almost ran mad, I had to run away for my sanity, and even now, he is still spoiling my name to all who cares to listen.
His sister visits this blog. I don't care what you think or say! Your brother needs help!
Guys stop thinking investing and spending on a woman will translate to her loving you. I had a similar experience, I was in a relationship with a man that trained a lady from secondary school to university. After the final payment in 400l the girl broke up with him. He took care of her family and siblings. This incident broke the man so much that he is highly mistrustful of women, I didn't have time to be putting together a broken man so I broke up with him. The emotional trauma he suffered, it's only God that can heal him. Men if you want to help women, help them without expecting anything because I know my fellow women they will use and dump you.
ReplyDeleteIn fact, I don't know why everyone is uhhing, awwwing and shouting counselling. I put it to you all that this lady is not traumatized as a result of any rape. From the onset she never loved this guy, imagine you that never thought you'll be opportuned to see the four walls of a university and yet you found yourself in a private one even with your sibling and as if that's not enough, you left all your family's burden on one man's head. Yet you can't do something as little as entering the kitchen to prepare a nice meal for the guy "I hate to enter kitchen"😕 no be say you be aje butter. After toiling for the day's work for you and your family, he will still come back home to cook, serve you and you'll open your dirty mouth and eat it. Let me ask you a question, of what use where you to this guy in this relationship? You even had the guts to complain about his height as if you didn't notice that before you started spending his money. Now he has cleaned you up and your taste has changed, then you want to use rape as an excuse. I'm very sorry o, but I refuse to fall for your tactics. The choice is yours, do what your heart tells you to and let the end justify the means. Ungrateful elements everywhere 😕😕😩. Where and under what circumstances you were even raped, you couldn't throw any light to that. Mtchewww.....
ReplyDeleteNa only curse? The guy will kill her or make sure she suffers physically and spiritually. Girls never learn, if u don't love a guy, do not give him a fake green light, d result is 99% disastrous.
ReplyDeleteI dnt think u were rape, that was a cover story, u dnt love him from the onset,
ReplyDeletePoster you're suffering from PTSD you need to seek help, if you don't you'll probably end up pushing away everyone who loves you.
ReplyDeleteAbout your SO he is a good man, just know that its absolutely normal to have these feelings especially after something like this happened to you.
Eventually when you get proper counselling you'll return to your old self. Just try to be patient with him as I'm sure he is being with you.
Poster you need E-hug, please you need to heal from that rape incident first. May God help you
ReplyDeleteThis is a real case of spiritual husband! Go for deliverance asap.
ReplyDeleteKrix signing out via iPhone 7+
Guess the poster fucked up herself
ReplyDeletems poster,:fact (1) you have never loved this gentleman
ReplyDeleteFact (2) you tag along with him in the R/ship because of the financial supports and gains for you and all your other extended family.
fact (3) when you got to university and saw different species of boys/men,tall,handsome,superficially clean looking with suppose real and 'fake abroad' accents
who compliments you on how beautiful/wonderful package you are,perceived high rated of self awareness creeps in and start seeing your old time boyfriend as dull,local,inarticulate,boring,not well exposed etc.
why would someone who comes from extremely humble home claims to hate going to the kitchen/hate cooking??
the reverse of this case is that its your boyfriend who worships the ground you walk on!
I am extremely sorry to say this,but,could your present psychological issues be related to
how the rape matter came about?it would be helpful if you had shed more light on how you were raped,a friendly visit to a guy you admired turned sour? i said all these cause it could be the guilty conscience eating you up now that you inadvertently caused 'rape issue' and hating your boyfriend for him still being understanding in all these issues on ground.
You could be detesting him for being weak,spineless and not man enough to stand up and end the r/ship(hmm,i assume you want him to end this r/ship by himself so you can come out squeaky clean and smelling of roses as the wounded party)
I think,its better now to open up to the man and let him know your real feelings towards him,end the R/ship/marriage?,he deserves to find someone who loves him for him and him alone.YOU also deserve to be happy to,high time you and your family start earning your livings.NOTE:NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HOW RAPE COMES ABOUT,NOBODY DESERVES TO BE RAPE OR VIOLATED,so accept my sympathy on that.I hope it turns the other way for you that'Grass is actually greener at the other side/yard!
ms poster,:fact (1) you have never loved this gentleman
ReplyDeleteFact (2) you tag along with him in the R/ship because of the financial supports and gains for you and all your other extended family.
fact (3) when you got to university and saw different species of boys/men,tall,handsome,superficially clean looking with suppose real and 'fake abroad' accents
who compliments you on how beautiful/wonderful package you are,perceived high rated of self awareness creeps in and start seeing your old time boyfriend as dull,local,inarticulate,boring,not well exposed etc.
why would someone who comes from extremely humble home claims to hate going to the kitchen/hate cooking??
the reverse of this case is that its your boyfriend who worships the ground you walk on!
I am extremely sorry to say this,but,could your present psychological issues be related to
how the rape matter came about?it would be helpful if you had shed more light on how you were raped,a friendly visit to a guy you admired turned sour? i said all these cause it could be the guilty conscience eating you up now that you inadvertently caused 'rape issue' and hating your boyfriend for him still being understanding in all these issues on ground.
You could be detesting him for being weak,spineless and not man enough to stand up and end the r/ship(hmm,i assume you want him to end this r/ship by himself so you can come out squeaky clean and smelling of roses as the wounded party)
I think,its better now to open up to the man and let him know your real feelings towards him,end the R/ship/marriage?,he deserves to find someone who loves him for him and him alone.YOU also deserve to be happy to,high time you and your family start earning your livings.NOTE:NO MATTER THE CIRCUMSTANCES OF HOW RAPE COMES ABOUT,NOBODY DESERVES TO BE RAPE OR VIOLATED,so accept my sympathy on that.I hope it turns the other way for you that'Grass is actually greener at the other side/yard!
Poster, after reading comments here, I'm forced to think, are you lying about being raped? And did u lie to him with that so that he'll let go of you?
ReplyDeleteI sincerely hope this isn't True and u r really saying the truth. Becoz if u lied about this and u want to leave him, mehn that's just wrong! Wrong! Wrong! Evil!
But incase your saying the truth, I'm sorry, see a therapist.
U must marry this man oooo....after going for counselling.
ReplyDeleteSisters stop collecting money .if you will change your mind when challenages come.you gals are worst than recession..keep dumping guy with emotional trauma for others to start repairing and suffering ...God will bless you and your family for using that guy to attend a private school and now you want us to see as a victim with rape matter that is already solved.
ReplyDeleteWait oo am not understanding this atal. You mean a guy didn't all these for you & you come out to give flimsy excuses about not settling down with him? Babe you wicked oo.
ReplyDeleteI understand your fears & worries but don't let these thoughts make you regret this decision for the rest of your life. If need be, seek counselling & settle with your mind & heart on what to do.
I think you are going through some psychological trauma from the rape. It is going to be fine
Chai, I've never met this kind of man before in my life and I'm looking forward to have one by God's grace. Poster, if you disappoint that man, "as in" somebody that does all that for you and even stands by you despite what happened and you're not seeing the handwriting on the wall, rather getting yourself confused. Well, If you do anything funny, God himself will not forgive you. Be guided.
ReplyDeleteChai, I've never met this kind of man before in my life and I'm looking forward to have one by God's grace. Poster, if you disappoint that man, "as in" somebody that does all that for you and even stands by you despite what happened and you're not seeing the handwriting on the wall, rather getting yourself confused. Well, If you do anything funny, God himself will not forgive you. Be guided and come back to your senses.
ReplyDeleteNa wa!
ReplyDelete