When I got Married,I didnt want to drop my last name for a name that might not Identify me as a Nigerian,especially as my first name STELLA is an English name.......and that was why I decided to have a Compound name......People have several reasons why they drop or add right?
This Blog visitor needs to know a few things....
''Hello Stella,
Thumbs up on the good work you’re doing using your blog platform. I’ve been your BV for upwards of 3 years now.
There’s this issue that’s been bothering me lately and I sincerely wish you could throw it up as a topic for discussion in your couch session anytime soon so I can gain more knowledge from informed minds.
I’m newly married and about to do my wife’s change of name. I have seen some women taking up their husband’s first name and surname as a compound surname for the woman (E.g Pastor Dayo Benjamins-Laniyi) and my wife and I won’t mind it.
However, I do not know if there’s any particular reason behind it. Ours is an inter-tribal marriage so that might entail sacrificing her native middle name for my name and surname otherwise it might just make her name too long in this format: Englishname, Nativename, Husbandname-Surname''.
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ReplyDeleteWomen only add husband's first name if the man is popular and his name will bring them connection eg mrs stella aliko dangote.
DeleteNot when the man is not known.
My advice is for her to put her own surname and your surname. So that she can use her old documents without issues and can easily be located on social media.😆.
Why should she bear 2 names from her husband? God forbid but what if the marriage should scatter? She will then change the 2 names again ? Not advisable.
And again, we never see una WNB😈
Like ur trend of thought
DeleteMost people that use their husband's first name and combine it with his surname to make a compound name, use it mainly to differentiate the surname. Some it's because of polygamy where there are many children, some it's because the husband's father is popular, some they don't like the husband's surname and will not give the children the surname but their husband's first name and the wife will have to bear husband's surname so they adopt it to reflect the surname their children will bear. Some just preference.
ReplyDeleteAdopt a name thats comfortable for your wife. But I don't see why she needs to add your first name though. I use my first name and my husband's surname now. Basicly that's 2 word.
ReplyDeleteI like the three names together especially if it is inter tribal. It sounds so sweet.
ReplyDeleteWhy do folks like to complicate their lives?
ReplyDeletethis is why high BP is on the increase and Nigerian life expectancy is on a free fall.
Why not simply do a name change and move on in this short life?
I bear my name, fathers name and then husbands name
ReplyDeleteDidn't throw my father's name away
Same here...I just added my husband's surname to my names
DeleteI just added only my husband's surname. I should I bear all his names? It is not necessary
DeleteGod bless you. But I won't bear my husband's surname Biko. Just his name
DeleteYour wife is now your property so she should change her surname to yours sharply!...
ReplyDeleteShe no longer have a business with her maiden name...
No long story in nah...
That is why I like women like Angela Merkel; simple accomplished lady.
ReplyDeleteThe Nigerian woman will learn the bad things from Oyibo and not the good ones.
If it is to copy oyinbo accept and post nude pictures online, they will learn fast
I'm still trying to understand why you brought Ms. Merkel into this but be informed that the surname "Merkel" she took from her first husband, after divorcing him, she just continued using his surname. She was born Angela Kasner and currently married to Mr. Sauer. Where your comparison lies I do not know.
DeleteHahaha��������, not just women, Nigerians as a whole.
Delete
ReplyDeletePoster, let her just bear only your surname if you think the names will be too long.
Well, my husband refused me using my maiden name o! Very tush name at that sef...He said he no wan see the name lai lai, that he's not owing bride price...he was okay with our son answering the name as his first name though...all mallam to him kettle
ReplyDeleteHahahaahhahahaha
DeleteMy husband no send sef...I have been married for 7yrs,i just added my husband's name last month
DeleteWell I've been married for almost 2years now & I haven't changed my name yet & I don't think I'm going to change it any time soon since my husband is not complaining about it. Please house I'll also like to know the implications of not changing ones name.
ReplyDeleteThere are so many implications darling
DeleteNext of kin claims?
Travel documents as Mr and Mrs?
Banking requirements for some specific transactions?
So many implications! So many.
Change names and do a publication on any of the national dailies. About 5k or so
The implication is that you both are not formally married yet till you change your name.... Some men don't have to complain about everything before you ladies do what is right. As of now you are just their to make babies and give him good sex.
DeleteI changed my name just for travel purposes. Forgot my id one while at the airport and they refused my husband from identifying me even though our tickets were bought together and even printed together. They said if only we bear the same surname. I just dont want a repeat of that. It was so stressful. I couldnt use compound name because my maiden surname is too long. If not i would have preferred that.
DeleteSee that mumu saying you're not formally married until you change name Olodo. as far as you have gone to the registry and sighed you are married if you like let your name be goats and dog
DeleteIt depends on the individuals or couple s. I have friends that did not drop their fathers name i.e their surname after marriage. They only added their husband's surname at the end. I on the other hand dropped my dad's name & went with boo's first name & surname. Which ever works for you.
ReplyDeleteFormer: father's name
DeleteLater: husband's family name. Both are compound names.
I dropped the former and picked the later. Always more graceful bearing your husband's family name.
Just make sure you are a BRAND in all of it. Create your personality and nurse it. You will be identified by both.
I am coming back to read comments
ReplyDeleteIt depends on the individuals or couple s. I have friends that did not drop their fathers name i.e their surname after marriage. They only added their husband's surname at the end. I on the other hand dropped my dad's name & went with boo's first name & surname. Which ever works for you.
ReplyDeleteI'm interested in this topic. I'm newly married and yet to do change of name. Hubby wants me to drop father's name and bear his name. I'm thinking of a compound name ( my father's name and my husband name) , more like Stella's style. But my hubby doesn't support it. There is no biblical reference for change of name based on marriage. I come from a family of four girls, so I am not very eager to drop my fathers' name. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteIf you aren't eager to drop your fathers name,why go get married? All these married ladies...I don't understand you people o...
DeleteHmmmmm who changing of name epp? Will it add money to ya bank account? I personally believe that the belief that youre not really in love if you dont it is crazy. Change of name comes with plenty damuwa abeg.
ReplyDelete*hangs leg on the wall*
I swear. The damuwa too plenty
DeleteI'm interested in this topic. I'm newly married and yet to do change of name. Hubby wants me to drop father's name and bear his name. I'm thinking of a compound name ( my father's name and my husband name) , more like Stella's style. But my hubby doesn't support it. There is no biblical reference for change of name based on marriage. I come from a family of four girls, so I am not very eager to drop my fathers' name. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteWhy does she have to change her name atall.forget the general practice, the way I see it she's not going to be any less your wife if she sticks to her name.
ReplyDeleteFor some of us going for NYSC as married people, we'll have to present newspaper name change
DeleteI'm not married but when I eventually do,i will add my maiden name along side my husband's name and I'm doing this because we are more of girls and only one boy, just to keep my dad's name alive. But for my international passport and any valid id,I will stick with my maiden name except my husband wants it otherwise.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you stick with your maiden name on International passport, how will you travel with your husband as his wife? I won't drop my maiden name as well, but my husband's surname will be added
Delete*Larry was here*
He will have ticket she will have ticket there's no Husband and wife prerequisite for traveling. Dont boyfriend and girlfriend travel together
DeleteWhere did u pple get this funny info that u can't travel as husband and wife if u bear different surnames, except it's the case within Nigeria, I ve travelled to the US, UK and dubai with my hubby and my passport bears my maiden name, nobody asked me shit.
DeleteThe tribe matters. In my place, you bear your father's first name as your middle name and then the surname. So when u wed as a woman,your middle name changes from your fathers first name to your husband's first name and then your husband's surname. If your name is Stella and your husband is Mike Johnson, you become Stella Mike Johnson.
ReplyDeleteChange of name has nothing to do with tribe biko, it's a personal thing. Una don start!
DeleteWill read comment
ReplyDeleteNot a bad idea. You can use her first name then your surname or her first name, her surname put a hyphen then your surname. E.g. Mrs Ngozi Okonjo-Iweala.
ReplyDeleteWhat's wrong with just changing the surname?
ReplyDeleteThis is something you both need to discuss, seems like you are making that decision for her already.
Some women don't mind e.g Pstr Funke Felix Adejumo that is one fine name if you ask me and some won't dare change theirs e.g Chimamanda Adichie like I stated earlier its her decision not yours and its not a big deal.
Its a personal choice. I dropped my middle name and hyphenated my husbands middle and last name.
ReplyDeleteCross river and akwa ibom women take up their husbands first name and Surname, even children's middle name is their dad's first name.
ReplyDeleteNa wa!
DeleteI will read comments
ReplyDeleteFor intertribal marriage like urs,it will be nice n fair to let her keep her native name and just give her your surname eg vera eseoghene chukwudi
ReplyDeleteU r correct.
DeleteI'm just confused.....must you change your name after marriage ?
ReplyDeleteI tire. Might not even change mine.
DeleteSaving my strength for other important things
Some even change state and local government.
DeleteSwaggie, it is not entirely your decision to make.
DeleteChange of surname is something you and your husband must agree on.
Little things such as this causes issues in marriage from the get go thus an understanding must be reached.
@swag no be person go tell you wait till you reach 35 and still not married
DeleteEvery mallam to him kettle...I have been married for 7yrs..i did change of name abi addition of name recently...I just added my husband's name to my names Shikena..I don't just like that remove maiden name and add husband's name..Na marriage I go na..Why drop my maiden name..
DeleteBloggie, I get you.
DeleteLemme read comments, cos I'm yet to change my name sef.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing wrong in ditching your maiden name for your husband's name entirely
ReplyDeleteHowever those who have some form of attachment to their surname before marriage can decide to have a compound surname.
Most people e.g celebrities, billionaire offspring's etc who intend to be continuously 'fingered' as one without loosing their identity opt for the compound name (their surname + husband's name)
Those who do not have any sentimental or philosophical attachment don't even bother about their surname once they say "I do"
They just cross over..to bearing their husband's name afterall it's just a name right?
Others who do take a compound surname both belonging to their husband do so most especially when there are so many males in the husband's family. E.g
A woman's husband bears John Stone. And he has many brothers all bearing Stone. She may decide to bear Mrs Cynthia John-Stone to distinguish her from her co-wives in the family bearing Stone.
In all, it all depends on the individual and his/her choice
I'm interested in this topic. I'm newly married and yet to do change of name. Hubby wants me to drop father's name and bear his name. I'm thinking of a compound name ( my father's name and my husband name) , more like Stella's style. But my hubby doesn't support it. There is no biblical reference for change of name based on marriage. I come from a family of four girls, so I am not very eager to drop my fathers' name. Any suggestions?
ReplyDeleteI got married last year. my wife has not changed her name. i dont even care about that. all i think of is making money for my unborn children not any fucking name. anytime she want to change her name thats is her cup of tea. her facebook name and bank and international passport still bears her name. The last time we wanted to travel out for vacation. to make the visa process easy they said she needs to do change of name in newspaper attached with wedding ceft before we can apply for passport. na so we rest. who get time for change of name in this recession.
ReplyDeleteLol. It is well with you.
DeleteMbok is change of name costly?
DeleteStop lieing change of name no get wahala sotey you go leave traveling on top that.its just 5-7k and takes a few days. Mtcheeew
DeleteI believe it is an individual choice.
ReplyDeleteI for one didn't drop my father's bcos our family is a 'girls hostel'and I need my father's name to live on. So my name is in this order > DH surname,my maiden name,my first and last name.
Plus I changed after almost 2 years of marriage sef.
Good luck to una
Very silly mentality, I can bet that is ur grandfather's name. What exactly do u need the name to live on for? And who will carry on ur own name when u die?
Deletea.k.a EDWIN CHINEDU AZUBUKO said...
ReplyDelete.
If my future wife dont want to change her name then no problem...
.
.
***CURRENTLY IN JUPITER***
Changed mine to my hubby's name and his surname after one year after marriage. He was singing it like a song. So I had to.
ReplyDeleteI've been married for 6 years and just did change of name last week,cos i needed to renew my passport.Hubby insisted I take only his first name and I gladly obliged.i didn't like my surname cos its muslim (my grand father's name),so I dropped it and used hubby's first name only. most of our fore fathers names carry some sort of generational curse (especially families that are going through some kind of spiritual strongholds),so to be free from it,its best to drop the name and start your own generation..a generation of blessed people😃.
ReplyDeleteAll that is plenty grammar😃..me I just like the sound of my name jare😃
Very stupid to say that African name is cursed. So you know the meaning of your new European name ?
DeleteYou care.
ReplyDeleteWell,i changed mine because of state job,mine is an inter marriage
ReplyDeleteMy husband ex wife still bears his surname.
ReplyDeleteMyself is still bearing my father's surname.... this is our 4th year in marriage. What's the big deal??
Ethiopian women don't change their last name to their hubby's. Burmese pple don't do it also. So I don't know why some pple here are saying there are implications, next of kin issue bla bla.. As far as I know anybody you add to ur next of kin will be just that regardless of last names.
ReplyDeleteArabs don't do it too ...change of name is a western thing
DeleteIndians too
DeleteWho wants generational curses? Will only add hubby's first name to my name or his native name
ReplyDeleteThe only stressful thing about not changing my name is having to carry my son's birth certificate around when we travel . Leaving Nigeria , they always ask for proof that he is my child bc he beats his father's name . Funny I have legally changed my name , just haven't gotten around to changing it on my passport and the bank .
ReplyDeleteI bear my name bc its the name on my practising license.i dont need to go around Nigeria and every certifying body for change of name which I will send back to US. I will change my name later.
ReplyDelete