Service Year Boulevard 92

My goodness!!!..I almost fainted from laughing reading this SYB...what!!!!!

Hi Stelli-koko,


Thanks for providing this insightful and entertaining medium. Your blog is more than an entertainment blog, you have created contents (eg Omugwo Chronicles, TTC, SYB etc) that are centred on major day to day issues humans pass through. A sizeable number of us come here because of these, so do not think entertainment/celebrity news alone is responsible for traffic on your blog. This makes your blog and its content so original. Abeg keep it up, no looking back. I will now go into my SYB in brief.

After not being mobilized in the last two previous batches, I was finally mobilized to serve in Ebonyi in 2004. At that point, NYSC had lost its appeal to me and I was not actually looking forward to it. My mates in Uni were through with service and searching for jobs already so NYSC was just unattractive to me. I had started a bit of hustling on the side and money was coming in trickles from the streets so I had a very tough decision to make – It’s either I continue to make my little money or jettison that for a whole year and go for service. 

I made the decision to go for service and as things would pan out, it has remained one of the best decisions I have made in my life. Due to my nature as a nonchalant individual, I decided to go to camp reluctantly 2 days after the start date knowing fully well they won’t turn me back if I arrive late. I was so resolute that even if Brigadier General Yusuf Bomoi who was NYSC DG at that time was present in camp, I go still enter. Last last I go beg and they will accept me (I was that nonchalant).

I boarded a luxurious bus very early in the morning from Lagos to Enugu. The journey to Enugu was so long, I felt like we were travelling to another country. We arrived Enugu in the evening and I immediately took a bus from Peace Mass Transit Park in Enugu to Abakaliki. Luckily for me, on getting to Abakaliki, I met corpers that were in the batch before me and they advised that I charter a taxi as it would be impossible to get a bus going to camp at that time. Got a cab sharp sharp, offered him money he could not resist and bang I was finally on my way to my final destination – Ebonyi Camp (Heard they now have a permanent site which is in Afikpo).

I got to the camp a bit late and the soldiers I met at the gate were ready to show me pepper. As a sharp Ibadan/Lagos boy who is ever ready, I don prepare season film of stories for them. These guys would not buy any of my stories, so my thinking went into overdrive. I remembered the story my dad told me about how he was sent to Abakaliki as a military instructor when he was in the Army. Na so I knack dem the story o and voila, it worked – They let me in. I could not do my registration that night but I did it the next morning, easy peezy. I joined Platoon 6 and that was how my sweet NYSC journey started.

Earlier on, I had met three of my friends that we attended the same uni. I knew with these 3 bad guys, service will be fun and that turned out to be true. We formed a clique of Yoruba and Niger Delta demons, we moved together, ate together, we practically did everything together. We came up with an idea on how to attract girls (after all we came to Ebonyi to serve the nation and the ladies) in our various platoons – The logic is to look for one of the finest chicks in the platoon and be friends with her. She will be the only girl you’ll talk to and psychologically, all other girls in the platoon will notice you. 

Stelli-koko, walahi, it worked! I did not have to talk much before being friends with other girls in my platoon and other platoons. I now had the problem of picking one out of these girls, chai, I was confused. I was Oliver Twist, I wanted all of them. My friends had the same problem too so we were at crossroads as to the girls to pick. We had sneaked out into town one evening like that, we went to Ebonyi State University and we met bucket loads of girls. We decided there are finer girls in town so why should we tie ourselves down with one corper when we can actually have fine EBSU girls after camp. 

We decided not to go for any corper jare so at that point, we kept the girls at arms’ length, no more lovey dovey. No more toasting, no more sweet talks. We focused on more on the serious things like how to get a good place of primary assignment and how to get an additional place to serve J. We kept our eyes on the ball and the money – Money before female corpers jare.

Myself and one of my friends were posted to a school in the bush in far away Ishielu. We were downcast, we thought we’d be posted to Abakaliki. We had plans for Abakaliki so there was no way we’d stay in Ishielu. We got to the school and I saw one of the female corpers I had a big crush on. My heart started to melt. I spoke to her, went straight to the point about what I wanted from her and we had a connection. I was ready to stay back because of her not thinking about the agreement I had with my pal. He reminded me of the vision and big plans we had for Abakaliki and how I should not chose a woman over a friend. 

He told me the tohtoh go soon tire me and I’ll be miserable all alone by myself in that bush. With that pep talk, I regained my senses. There was no way I will break our friendship because of tohtoh. We later met the principal, we begged him to reject us and give us a letter of rejection, the man no gree o. We returned the next day to beg him, the man still no gree. At that point, our Lagos sense kicked in. My pal made calls to his friends in Lagos, and in less than 24 hours, our rejection letters were manufactured and ready (on the school letterhead o, fully stamped J). So the problem we now had on our hands was how to get a new place. We knew it was not going to be easy so we made a major sacrifice, we’d stay back in town and look for places to serve when other corpers would have travelled home for the break we normally get after camp. That actually worked as we were able to get two places - A ministry and one of the biggest construction companies in town. Both establishments offered us accommodation and the salary the construction company offered was very decent for a corper.

 We were earning salaries from three sources – NYSC, the ministry and the construction company. We were among the highest paid corpers in the state. All through the wahala of getting a new place to work, my conji was building up and as guy who’s used to having s3x every week, the conji was mad – I wan die, I could practically perceive the smell of my concentrated sperm lol.

 I decided I had to do something about it. I invited one of the female corpers who had been posted to another local government. By the time she got to Abakaliki, I was terribly sick and my preek sef was in a very sorry state (the ting sef follow sick, I no dey get hard on). She came to meet me at the accommodation the ministry gave us. She took me to the hospital that day and was discharged hours later. I knew I had no strength for sex at that point so I did not make any move. To my surprise, she woke me up in the middle of the night and before you I say jack, my preek found its way into her mouth and suddenly, my dry bones rose. It was unbelievable; I thought I won’t have a hard-on – my preek shamelessly became very hard and stiff. Na that day I know say preek no dey get shame, with the right blowjob, any preek wey dey bow go rise. 

Na so we begin the rough play (this was around 1am). She did not even pity my state, she climbed me and was riding me mercilessly. Whilst doing this, she was making a great deal of noise. Na there I know say person wey wan die don meet person wey go kill am o. I finally came, my first cum in about 4 weeks, it felt like my spirit left my body – what a relief, glory to God. That gbenshing session actually healed me as my health improved tremendously after it. Waking up the next morning, the other female corpers living in the adjoining rooms were outside waiting new corper who just came from nowhere and started gbenshing. From the look on their faces, I knew they were sex-deprived and sexually frustrated. 

They became really friendly (they would not talk to us much when first moved into the property) and they told me about the noise that was coming out of my room at night. That was the beginning of their sexual exploitation of me o. Two days later, I was talking to one of them in the communal area and she invited me into her room. Within 15mins of getting into that room, we were tearing at each other like dogs on heat. She later told me that was her first gbensh in 5 months haba! The same happened with the other female corper that was two doors away from mine. I knew it would be impossible to be gbenshing two corpers that are friends in the same compound so I told my friend it is better we stay permanently in the other accommodation the other company offered. Na so I escape dem karishika o, there was no way I could keep up with gbenshing the 2 of them week in, week out. We were so much into EBSU girls and by the time we were through with service, our body count was high. 

We were male opios, especially my friend. The guy would descend on a female hostel and collect like say tomorrow no dey. The bosses we worked with too were like us. Imagine a company guest house filled with randy engineers with decent jobs, na Sodom and Gomorrah. I was so much into the life that I only visited home once during my stay in Ebonyi State. Even on my on trip home, I still managed to have sex with a total stranger (we did joko l’eso style i.e sitting on a nail, Yoruba demons here present can help translate this) on the IfeSinachi bus I boarded from Onitsha to Lagos.

In the midst of my wild antics, I still had money on my mind. I got close to my boss, earned his trust and he finally showed me how to make some money. I was introduced to the laterite business. I started running his laterite side-show and was remitting money to him anytime these deals come up. It was rumoured that the then Governor of Enugu State had interests in the company, so we were never out of mega contracts. This meant we were never out of laterite side deals. We were making loads of money, I was living the dream. I learned a lot about construction in the company and the skills that I gained are now very useful in my present role after leaving my banking job.

Despite my mad behaviour, I was still focused on the next chapter which is getting a job even before completing service. I was retained by the company but my plan is to move back to Lagos. I was lucky to get a job with Intercontinental Bank, Abakaliki but later, I got another offer with Standard Trust Bank in Lagos before the POP. I left Abakaliki one the NYSC passing out weekend and I resumed in my new role the next Monday, God showed me mercy, I regained the time I had lost when I missed out on service two times. A lot of things happened during service year that I could not fit into my long piece. 

They are mostly love and sex-related and I do not intend to make this into a Mills and Booms storyJ. NYSC gave me the opportunity to learn more about life and a lot about the opposite sex and sex itself such that, when I decided to settle down, playing away games had become unattractive due to the mad trips I have had during this time and my early years in banking. Stelli-koko, this is my SYB in brief.

 I have a Meeting Point story that’s not so eventful; I will forward my Wedding Night Blues in the coming weeks. I need to coman and be going so I do north west my company’s time. Tenkiu.

Yours truly,

An ex- Yoruba Demon