Stella Dimoko Korkus.com: Service Year Boulevard 88

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Thursday, February 23, 2017

Service Year Boulevard 88

LMAO!!!



I'm currently serving, in fact was just posted with this Batch B
Stream 2 set sef and my story would mainly center on camp experience.
I don't know if it would do o.
I and my boyfriend were posted in the same stream. As a matter of fact, we had both gone to go do our medicals for service when we checked our posting. It was so messed up! We both had plans to work it to Abuja. However, I was posted to Ebonyi, while he was posted to Lagos. Hnmmmm...... posting gone totally wrong!


What do we do??? After lawschool don separate us for one year (He was in Enugu campus, I was in Lagos) , we couldn't bear to do same for NYSC as we had already made plans.

We finally agreed that I should redeploy to Lagos not minding the fucked up working and the fact that I just was tired of Lagos. The redeployment was basically a career decision since Lagos also has great opportunities.

I resumed camp a day before the opening day, as from stories on this blog you may tend to get better bed spaces and I don't like inconveniences. I had already booked with Chisco which was transporting other Corp members to the camp directly. I got to the park and met other corpers. I boarded, and off we were to camp.

The journey was quite ok, at some point we all began gisting and interacting with each other.
Hmmmm.... Something happened on the way o!

Me I like to shit, plus I get roadsick most times when traveling byroad. In the bus my tummy started rumbling, like all this water water shit. I dey try hold am make we reach camp because we had entered Ebonyi state already. Omo I couldn't o. Luckily, the driver stopped at a filling station to ask for directions to the camp. I just told him
to wait that I wanted to quickly urinate. Na so I carry tissue
(thankfully I took a nylon along too) and jumped out of the bus.


The attendant at the station said there was no toilet around ( I told her I wanted to quickly urinate) but she showed me one place where I could just go and bend down. Omo, na so I go do the thing o sharp sharp. I set my nylon wella and was smiling to myself, was soooo relieved (I begin my shotput for road). Driver was already honking so I cleaned up and ran back to the bus. Nobody knew.. *covers face*


Okay, we got to camp but had to wait for sometime to be checked in. Me I came prepared. Had already heard about all the carrying of bags on your head thingy and didn't take so much luggage, just necessaries. To my surprise we didn't even do that, even people that came the next day
didn't have to do that. As a matter of fact, there were people who offered to carry your luggage to your room for you for just #50.

We got our hostels and went in to arrange things.Camp space was not 
conducive at all. We were 100 in a room, very little space, but we had to manage na, that's why it's called camp. And the weather was favourable too, as we didn't feel heat during the night. Infact I never bathed in the morning on camp because of the cold except on the POP day. I only bathed in the afternoon when the sun would be up or in the evenings. 


But some girls try sha. As early as 2 o'clock
sometimes, girls would have woken up, bathed, dressed up and made up as in serious make up with foundation, concealer, contour, and all what not before morning parade o. Na real wa. Me I just wake up by 4,brush my teeth, brighten up my face, dress up and wait for meditation time. I no fit shout.
But toilet na real wa. Me wey sabi shit every morning, you wouldn't believe I never went to toilet throughout that first week. I went to a boarding school so my body sabi adjust like that. Last last na shotput o. But in all, I went to toilet about five times on camp. 


The very day I got back home I went to toilet twice before anybody say Jack sef.
There was a particular female hostel notorious for everything
notorious, and that's where most of the latecomers were. I thank God I wasn't there because they were always serving one punishment or the other.

Registration didn't start until the next day. Those pregnant women and nursing mothers frustrated us ehn. They had a line for them but during biometrics, they started having issues with the system and came to disrupt our own line. At the point where I was the next person on the line to be attended to after all the struggle, one soldier just came and disrupted everything,that the pregnant women and nursing mothers should be attended to so they can go home. I thought NYSC policy says pregnant women should not register for deployment.
*rolls eyes*


He sent me to the very back of the line saying "I go pour you
water!". Yimu... I just went to sleep in my hostel, mi o le wa ku! I gave that soldier side eyes till I left camp.

I succeeded in doing the registration later that night. I just had to so that I could send the state code immediately to the person
redeploying for me. I got my kits the next day, and trust NYSC na.
After registering your size online, the kits came out bigger and badly sown. I refused to amend mine, just didn't care. Those tailors would call phone number for you in the name of amendment. It's annoying when you know how to sew yourself but just can't bring your machine (I for make money for camp eh) or last last obioma or aboki will do it for
one-tenth of the amount. Besides I had brought spare kits from home.That jungle boot has to be the ugliest shoe ever made.



I didn't find camp as difficult as people had made it to be. In fact, first week into camp was no biggie. To me it was better than staying at home. At least I got to meet people everyday, go somewhere and do something, or maybe it was my survival mode activated that didn't make me feel it so much. But by the second week I was already getting tired. Would have left camp if I had a relative in Ebonyi, but I just wanted to experience the whole thing.


At some point my bunkmate fell seriously ill. I had to rush her
immediately to the camp clinic. I carried her on my back and ran all the way to the clinic. People couldn't believe it cos I'm not so big in stature. In fact, if not for small fat and strong bones, I could pass for petite. I thank God for that day because it could have been a different story. She later redeployed back home.

It was through this episode that I met U He was a corper doctor at the clinic and he attended to my bunkmate. When she got well, he told her she gave them a scare. Anyway U was jovial and very friendly and we got talking. He kept asking me to come by and see him at the clinic. I did just once and he later got my number. I just wanted to be friendly but I could see the spark in his eyes when he looks at me. He was fun
to be with but I just had to be very careful, I didn't want to break any hearts.


The Soldiers were not as wicked as I expected, they were actually cool. The only thing they do is to shout and blow that their nonsense whistle like say their lungs wan comot. Infact sometimes when they're blowing whistle for people to leave mammy market, people no dey shake o. I never served individual punishments. The only times I served
punishment was when it was a collective thing and it wasn't more than three times. Even at that the punishment no pass to squat for some minutes or sit down .


Me I hate people threatening me or trying to intimidate me, so
whenever those soldiers were making threats me I go just dey yimu for my mind. After all I know they cannot touch me. Last last I go form faint or asthma attack. My platoon commandant's favorite threat was "I will dirty you!"....again, yimu!

The soldiers were quite funny with their cliches: " evil spirit! "
"mammy water " "otondo ", "unbeliever!" "babalawo" "you chop monkey?", etc. The RSM (I think it means Regimentary Sergeant Major) was a very friendly, fatherly and nice man. But he forms strict at times. His favourite cliche is " me I'm a gentleman. If you give me shit I'll
take it from you, but I'll rub that shit in your face ". Lol!



The camp commandant was cute too but strict. It's only whenever he's on camp that we serve one punishment or the other. He'll be forming strict but will be rolling with girls later. His favorite was well endowed babes. Wetin concern me? I kukuma lepa before.
There was one particular soldier girls were drooling over, this is
cute and well built as in with better muscle. But the guy no send o, he dresses WELL! Hmmm.... We called him Mr Macho.


Trust boys and girls na, second week into camp, stories started
flying... Boys and girls kissing, gbenshing and all whatnot. A girl
was actually caught when she spent the night with a soldier. As we heard the soldier was dismissed and the girl was tried by the camp court and decamped. I was part of the camp court as a lawyer that I am na. Infact I was part of the prosecutorial team meaning I was on the side of the camp always. Omo, after a few cases which we always won people started giving me side eyes.


 Trust corpers na. But at the same time I became more popular: "barrister!" "barrister!". I even had to start watching myself so as not to fall victim as the camp director and commandant then knew my face. I really do not pride over those
victories because in all honesty it was more administrative than
judicial. The camp director, commandant and other camp officials were the judge and jury. But it is what it is anyway, I was just doing my "job".


Those SAED (Skills Acquisition and Entrepreneurial Development) lectures were just too boring. To start with, the lecture halls were just too uncomfortable for learning anything, and lectures turned out to be a complete waste of time sometimes. See sleeping skills ehn... U
go fear. The sleep sometimes spreads like an epidemic.

I hated the Social Night activities, they were like a total waste of 
my time, would rather have some quality sleep than waste time watching my colleagues perform one thing or the other.

I was not a regular at mammy market, only went there once in a while. I had to ration my money and eating out because I hate spending unnecessarily. Not that camp food was so good but I just had to make do. Honestly, the food isn't as bad as people paint it to be. Those women who cook dey try abeg. Just try to enter that kitchen and see what they go through to cook. I know they're paid to do it, but it doesn't make it any less tedious.

No I didn't have a camp Boo. I had admirers but didn't give any
chance. Infact one made sure to ask me if I was redeploying before making any move.

One evening I was coming back from parade and one tall fair man stopped me. Started asking questions and I answered. Then he asked for my number and I told him I don't give strangers my number. He started saying how he's not a stranger but a camp official, the head of something something... Yimu! I told him I still couldn't give him and he said he will come to my platoon. Me I no like disturbance, I avoided him like a plague for the rest of camp. Later noticed he was always with one girl or the other.


Towards the end of the camp I fell ill. I couldn't even experience the camp carnival. But I don't think I missed much because it was just bleh... So I was at the camp clinic and was close to U. I also made other corper doctor friends there. Infact at some point they started teasing me with one person or the other. Anyway, the clinic happened to be shutting down as at that time and they didn't have enough medication for the patients. A male friend I made during that last week before I fell ill had my back like kilode. I don't know what I would have done without him at that time. Even my girlfriends no try reach this guy when I was very ill. 


And to think that I usually avoid getting so close to guys because it's not always possible to be good friends with the opposite sex without any strings especially when
you're in a relationship. Otherwise, guys over girls for me anytime. God bless him for me.

I really looked forward to making good friends in camp especially girlfriends because I can be jovial and friendly to everybody but a one-man band most times. Abeg who go attend my wedding, bridal shower, or naming ceremony? In fact, it became a prayer point for God to give me that friend that would be more than a sister because I'm very careful with making friends especially female friends. At some point
I just relaxed and let things be. I made friends out of my corner
mates and colleagues but I'm still searching.


My redeployment worked out to Lagos but I received it with mixed feelings. Didn't want to leave my friends behind, wanted to explore and have some fun plus I know I would definitely have been posted to the city being a lawyer if I had stayed and I was active in my platoon. In fact if I had been redeployed to another state I would have cancelled it sharp sharp. But what can I do na?
I lodged with House on the Rock for the Night and the next morning I begin drag my kaya back to Lagos.


Hmmmm.... I know this is very long, please bear with me. Just so that incoming corp members have a comprehensive idea of camp.

Camp life isn't so bad, just try to respect yourself. It's highly
regimented, just comply and you'll be fine. If you want to skip
parades occasionally, join groups like PET, SDG or other committees.
The second week in camp I rarely went for parade, was in one group or the other.
Please try and make friends of both sexes, very important. In my weak moments, my male friends came through for me. If I was hoping on my female acquaintances, I would have been stranded.

 *Nice story but story i took out your request at the end of the mail,it was too bogus.........Babe you should nevr have redeployed na,you never know!

So you shit without washing your hands and you said nobody knew?


42 comments:

  1. I love you
    And I enjoyed your story
    I didn't notice any gbaguans and your grammar is LIT

    You are the type of person that should swear for us that you sabi book Die! Not those madam Sabinuses looool

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Awww... Becky Divine, much love to you too

      Delete
    2. Y u change the former profile photo na? I be ur number 1 monitoring spirit. All

      How ate u dear?

      Delete
    3. When I fell sick in camp it was my male friends that came through for me... The girls were useless friends

      Delete
  2. hahhahaha I think they should do something about these Camp Armies they put to train corpers. There insults are getting too much. Why call someone otondo. I just remember when one of my niece call her cousin OTONDO because of his big head and he always fight and beat her. Chai.

    Barrister welcome back

    ReplyDelete
  3. Phewwwwww Story of life!!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Tetrina dear the Lord is you strength. However look at the bright side, she's alive. My brother was involved in an accident the night he was moving to his first ever apartment (rented) with the hope of settling down but did no even get to the front door. He died on the road. He was 28years. He was just too good and godly. Easy going and peaceful. I miss him everyday. I am in Lagos now alone. If only he was still here, it will be so much fun to have your blood around. But that is why God is supreme....
    So dear, keep praying and and God will perfect all that concerns her and your family.
    😘

    ReplyDelete
  5. Shit shit. Send the complete version when you are done with the whole year. Don't gbench too much o. Your bf would have met interesting people too.

    the two of you should have tried staying apart for this service year to explore or test your love. Stella expect mine.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. but we tried for lawschool na... We don test the love already

      Delete
  6. Tetrina dear the Lord is you strength. However look at the bright side, she's alive. My brother was involved in an accident the night he was moving to his first ever apartment (rented) with the hope of settling down but did no even get to the front door. He died on the road. He was 28years. He was just too good and godly. Easy going and peaceful. I miss him everyday. I am in Lagos now alone. If only he was still here, it will be so much fun to have your blood around. But that is why God is supreme....
    So dear, keep praying and and God will perfect all that concerns her and your family.
    😘

    ReplyDelete
  7. Babe what happened to "U"? You didn't finish that part of the gist. Was nice though. Sounds like you had fun!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Genny le Boo, you like amebo o... Yes I had fun, I even miss camp sef

      Delete
  8. This story is unnecessarily long. do you have diarrhea? abeg, i couldn't even read to the end. lawyer my foot. so you don't know you should have summarized the story? na wao. in short, the story is not sweet.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. That is why it is called service year boulevard. If a short one is brought, you will still complain. Go and do your NYSC and tell us your own story.... Mtcheewww, bad belle people.

      Delete
    2. A gallon of honey needed for anonymous

      Delete
  9. Old MacGregor camp, Jamaica hall. Mr. Chris (cool, calm and collected) man. Nice one

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  10. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Wow!quite a lengthy story but I enjoyed everybit.

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  12. I enjoyed the story. Very comprehensive

    ReplyDelete
  13. interesting story. Enjoyed every bit of it

    ReplyDelete
  14. Dead story...instead of u to explore u dey dull...mtcheww...u redeploy cos of man...na wa

    ReplyDelete
  15. Dead story...instead of u to explore u dey dull...mtcheww...u redeploy cos of man...na wa

    ReplyDelete
  16. i love the story and really wish to be your friend. I am older though but i have also been wanting a genuine friendship. let me know if you will like to be my friend.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. hello anon,i'm open to being friends with you. I don't have an ID yet and Stelz didn't post my email 😢😑😡

      Delete
  17. Nice write up poster.
    You're very cool

    ReplyDelete
  18. Stella you finally posted! Was thinking it had entered your cooking pot or something.
    You for help me rearrange the request na.... and you never hear of emergency shit before?
    I miss camp sha... Oh that beagle "corpers' food is ready" ...haha!

    ReplyDelete
  19. I really like today story. This lady is brillant, cos her writing was smooth. Love to av frnd like you. I am an ex corper who served in lagos.

    ReplyDelete
  20. First off it's Enugu camp u r talking abt, I was there n I can relate to all ur GISTs. Also, d MARRIED woman DAT was caught sleeping with d army man was decamped n guess who came to pick her up? HER DEAR HUBBY!! I even knw who 'U' is cos I'm bad like that!!! Abt our RSM, u 4got to add his 'best' saying--one mumu...one wise man. In camp I didn't dull o!! I got many business contacts, exeat from d middle of camp till d end n girls kept on chasing me, but I ran--i didn't wnt to do anything cos I pitied d girls DAT d devil tempted to chase me- they didn't knw wat they were asking for- n, I jst wntd to have real guiltless fun n nt sex AND I met an awesome friend who will become my wife(I've already started building my house this year{I jst had to say it Cos I am so excited!!! God is alive}). Anyway, it's cool u relocated.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Wawuuu! #haterswouldsayitsenugu 😋😋😋
    Na... U can't know who U is, cos I'm coded like that. Unbeliever! 😌

    ReplyDelete

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