Please take a sit....
Where are the men?Why do you not like a woman that is not dependent on you?Is this why some men will not have working wives after they marry?
Did you just say yes? *eyes widen*
Does this issue stem from the misunderstanding which comes from different interpretations of how an “independent woman” acts and carries herself??
Are you an Independent woman? Can you tell us your experience with your lack of dependency as regards dating/marriage?
Men need to be needed else they feel useless
ReplyDeleteI'm independent
DeleteI didn't come across men who didn't want independent women. Instead d ones I came across were expecting me to be like Linda d blogger..issorait! I don't even need dem again cos I'm settled!
Baba God forever.
This problem stems from our upbringing...even the fairy tales we tell our children,what is it laced with? Think about it...did Cinderella have a job?Now! She went to the ball,then the Prince came to fetch her...she depended on him to save her...Did Snow White have a job? No! She was poisoned and the Prince kissed to wake her up, her 'living' was dependent on the Prince. Men have been subconsciously trained to be the provider,the voltron, the knight in shinning armour, the say all and be-all. Then all of a sudden society now says the woman can be independent? It threatens the very core of their being, it emasculates them. The men I've counselled say such a woman is one step from a lesbian.there's a very thin line though. Western Society gives or has given so much power to women and the danger of it is that the woman erodes what is stated in the Bible. It takes the grace of God for an independent woman to be submissive I tell you. It takes special Grace. Most men that act like beasts don't do so because they are robots but because they feel threatened.
DeleteAn independent woman is a threat to them because of all she represents...to erase this notion,let's have fairy tales of independent women...lol
FYI I'm a woman and I'm independent
I may be wrong but that's my two kobo on the issue
Two kobo, ur analysis ain't bad!
DeleteBuh why are they always threatened by women adjustments and expect us to accommodate theirs?
The average young man of today is surprisingly so self conscious as per beauty more than a woman which in the past was majorly a woman's pride!
They are following modern trend and are getting so obsessed with themselves and mirror, instead of spending time making money and admiring us! Have we killed them???
Don't they know their constant obsession with themselves could make a woman feel threatened???
Truth is; men are just so full of themselves and are very very selfish! They want all rules in their favour cos they are born with pricks!
They should ass down for a while and let women breathe! The domination is sooo annoying and very exhausting... we are humans too!
Fuck that independent shit, I made it clear to my hubby he has to pay my bills when there is a need for it
ReplyDeleteMen are confused. They get intimated by women that can provide for themselves, car, good job, house then they date the "struggling" babes and complain when they ask them for help. Smh
DeleteTrue! Like two kobo indicated up there, I think its all about upbringing. I have seen ladies who ask their men for pad money, not like I see anything wrong with it, but I feel there's an extent to everything. A relationship doesn't have to be your meal ticket, you go out for dinner with your guy, sometimes take it upon yourself to pay for both of you. It won't kill you (if you can afford to), in short, it'll take the Man- A real man! -to recognize how much of a Gold you are. I'm not asking you to do it on the first date, I'm saying since you are in a relationship with him, it won't hurt if you paid..
DeleteI know a girl who never wants to hear "I don't have money" from her boyfriend. She's yet to understand that the same way she gets broke is the same way a guy can get broke too and you just have to understand. Like I said, go for real men and you won't have stories like "if I pay, he's going to take me for granted"!
About being independent or not, I am very much independent but no, I would never flaunt it..
not yet a man make I shut up
ReplyDelete#GODWIN™
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteApply some independence to your written English by independently learning the very simple difference between 'been' and 'being'.
DeleteDon't forget to independently learn its proper usage too. Thank you, aunty.
LMAO.. Vice and virtue, easy abeg
DeleteKai!
DeleteChai!vice and virtue.it is well o😂
DeleteHmmm...vice and virtue abeg easy ooo...
DeleteMen come over here & tell us why you do not like an independent woman...God forbid that i'l be totally dependent on my husband.
ReplyDeleteReal men like to feel needed.
DeleteIts not because you don't have your money or because you can't afford buying stuff for yourself but there's something it does to a man's ego when you ask.
I have noticed it from my dad to my brothers to my male friends to my man.
When I pay for my fare, pick bills at outings, they feel somehow, it's almost like I slapped them. So now I just let them ask for help with the bills first before I bring out my wallet to pay for goods/services especially when they are with me.
Bipolar...exactly
DeleteIt's in those days that men do not like independent women not in these days of recession.
ReplyDeleteEvery one be wanting comfortability so they need a woman that can hold her own. Some men of nowadays are more interested in asking if a woman has a job, salary scale and what not.
Lately, I have not seen a man that says he does not like an independent woman.#myopinion
I'll like to read the men's take on this.
True. During the men's single and mingle their number 1 criteria was "working class girl " Even before good looks and a nice figure.
DeleteI ve seen mydear.he complain that am too independent.bt when I ask him to foot some simple bill,he gives different excuses.is well.
DeleteMe I always tell anyone codedly from The beginning that I am not an independent lady. I tell u I believe its a man's responsibility to take care of his woman. If u don't want, u walk away.
ReplyDeleteLe boo said something to me recently 'For an igbo woman, u really don't demand too much' and I replied, its cos I don't like to ask, I prefer u to do without me asking.
I've been lying desperately about my fone having issues. I hope he takes the hint
Eka bitter so you're cheap? Nawa your jobless boo can not afford to get u a fone and he's eating you oshoofree. I spit on u...
DeleteMy jobless boo???? 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂 😂
DeleteJust wait, keep waiting. The day is coming that I will share the story ive been wanting to share.
Babe you have to ask him straight up for that phone , else he will keep acting like he doesn't understand the hints...men are bad like that.
DeleteAsk him already ...he wants to know...quit whinning
DeleteMen in the olden days prefer women who depends on them!...and they work very hard to provide even to the pant their women is wearing ...
ReplyDeleteMy husband has that mentality though BUT No!!...
I need my own money mehn!....
There is this joy you get when you buy something for yourself with your hard earned money!...
I still collect every dime from my husband even money for pad!!...
Yes,that's his responsibility and he gives without grumbling!,.
You need to see his ego!...trust an Anambra man...
Some lazy broke ass niggas prefer women that work their ass off!...
Dem full this blog!...
Chief, you're on pont jare.. Don't mind those yeye jobless guys we have now..they're always praying to meet a working class woman that will foot their bill for the rest of their miserable lives...
DeleteLol @dem full this blog.
Delete@queen and boss...bulls eye!
DeleteFor the FIRST TIME ever Queen, I totally agree with you on this one.
DeleteMe too.
DeleteLike the young desperate Nigerian or black men who flirt around me now, and keep telling me it will be nice for me to marry them & grow old together. When I'm already now...already at 46yrs single (never married before) & very highly self fulfilled, and also I have a grandchild now.
DeleteThe question I ask is: are you a nursing home or retirement home? That I look forward to us taking care of each & growing old together? Don't u know that my pension & status as a Canadian & also European citizen have guaranteed me comfortable retirement & security in old age? So why would marry a gigolo or jobless 1diot to take care of me or grow old together with you? How ? For what? Why?
In that regards having a dog or cat in my home as pet is more deserving & justifiable for me !!!
I don't need a man now. Let alone a jobless & wasted one for that matter.
Most ladies dnt even wnt to be independent, some dnt even understand the meaning, de wnt to be independent nd dependent @ nights same time#someareconfussed#somearebrained
DeleteIndependent woman is good but don't stop man to perform his duty.
ReplyDeleteA REAL man will support an independent woman!no one wishes evil but what if things ain't good with ogas business or money finish how will the stay @ home jobless wife cope?
ReplyDeleteI think it's because they feel threatened by their women's success sometimes
ReplyDeleteThe Bible made it clear that a Man is the head of the house, so man carry our load. I pretend too much so the load must be carried by my man.
ReplyDeleteMost guys see independent ladies as prostitutes because they ve this opinion that men re supposed to be taking care of women as weaker vessels that we re nah, So they believe that any girl that's not requesting money from her guy is getting it somewhere or any single girl that's looking good is been taken care of by a sugar daddy. A male friend once asked me one funny question when I was still single "Who's taking care of you now that you re single,Who bought your phone for you "?.. I was taken aback by his question and I had to pull myself together in order to answer him effectively...I gat family, I gat my sweet mum,I gat elder sisters and brothers,uncles and aunties,Finally, I gat my hands to work.So why do I need a guy to take care of me when I'm not an orphan?..But he wasn't convinced and he was trying to sound as if I was into one or two funny things...I had to end the conversation with him before it goes South...
ReplyDelete*YouDontNeedAGuy'sMoneyToLookGood*..But if he's fucking you ,then nigga gat to maintain that pussy😆😆😆
Kidjo Oya come and chop kiss.. I totally agree with you
DeleteKidjo you're sounding too weird this days ooo...abeeg tone it down.. OK. You're a woman. Stop sounding like an ashawo..
DeleteAll you comments na totoh and preek mata full there..
God forbid bad thing..
@Rocky, take kiss 💋💋💋
Delete@anon.I'm not sounding weird, you don't know me so don't think you can predict me....I'm not an ashawo but a well brought up Christian girl..Tohtoh and preek is everywhere, so why shy away from it?...I'm very blunt so I can't pretend,sorry dear.
@kidjo aren't u fyckinhg him too, Nigga is paying for giving u pleasure? Then he is d boss,he wu play d pipers dictate d tune
DeleteYes.I'm.But he enjoys it more than I do or don't you know?.😬😬😬
DeleteOnce u see sm1 who's real please bring them close...kidjo is d real deal
DeleteI was naive and not street wise the, foolishly agreed to stop work after we got married.
ReplyDeleteIs he providing all my needs: Yes
Am I happy quitting my Job: Yes
There is nothing like earning, am not a business kind of person, I prefer white collar jobs.
So I make money by saving.
Am I happy quitting my job: No.
DeleteTypo error
Stella this is just the opposite, I think a proper research should be done on this topic,men don't like dependent wwomen to date talk less getting married to you.once you does nothing and a guy asked you out,immediately he finds out that he draws back but once he asked you out and hears you are an independent lady,he starts cluing you more than super gum just to be tag to you.so I think a research should be done properly on this topic,the reverse its the case.
ReplyDeleteMen likes independent women financially but does not like women claiming Mrs independent with their body
ReplyDeleteA lazy man who says NO is sure saying it in denial just to make him sound like he can cater for his wife even if he really can't. Most women nowadays are independent and breadwinners In their homes. Those men are just saying no to Protect their egos. Most of them are lazy asses.
ReplyDeleteCan a man really provide a woman with everything she needs? Even if he does, it won't last long jare. Women are wise now too, they don't wait for men instead they do better than the so called men.
I'm soo proud to be a woman
I love been independent and anybody who has dealt with me knows that cos I hate having to ask for help (it makes me feel useless) If you want to do something for me without me asking or begging I love that but if you are waiting for me to ask or beg, you will wait tire.
ReplyDeleteThis is the major reason why women are stuck in abusive marriages...total dependence on a man who now pulls you around like a puppet. I know that some women allow their independence control them but such women are naturally proud and condescending not simply because they are rich after all we have wealthy humble wives who are submissive to their husbands.
Sister, repeat after me... "being"... "I hate BEING"
DeleteWhether u need the money or not!...ask for it....one can't hav enough money
ReplyDeleteMost men have got this twisted ego.
ReplyDeleteMost men feel inexplicable satisfaction when they're in charge, or seen as the boss.
Most men believe the man is the sole provider in a home #True.
Most men don't have a hardened erect penis when the woman is the bread winner #DeflatedSelfConfido
Most men believe a woman can't be submissive if she receives 6figures.
Most men are threatened or replused to a successful lady, even her fragrance scares them away.
Most men weren't raised right to realize that in marriage, its a team work, regardless of who brings in the bigger cheque.
Most men that enjoy a woman on top position during sexual intercourse, mostly wouldn't have their ego bruised or threatened if she's the bread winner... Lol.
Most nigerian men are not exposed & level headed.
OK OK... So most men don't like independent women
DeleteMen like to be in control as nature made them the head in the hierarchy of things. Their bragging right is being able to provide and be in control of their home/territory, when you take that away from them they feel less. That's why they are threatened by an independent woman. More like I have little or nothing to offer you, so what's the point.
ReplyDeleteIt takes a certain (in fact, high dose) of exposure, discipline and confidence for a man not to be threatened by an independent woman, or even encourage a woman to be independent. And equally, a woman who is understanding and willing to compromise for their relationship to work.
My personal observation and opinion.
Momma didn't raise no fool mehn, you have to be bringing something else to the table apart from a banging body...
ReplyDeleteI believe some men are insecure because of the attention their women might receive from the male folks.
ReplyDeleteSome men feel that once a woman is independent,she will not respect the man of the house and they will be rubbing shoulders.
Some men feel that once a woman is independent,she will neglect all her wifely duties.
My advice to the men,please is so good that your wife is independent so as to help out in some bills in the house or any other projects.
What advice do you have for those that aren't submissive
DeleteKeep sitting there and running your life by what you think men want. The same man will dump you for a reason that will make you almost want to die. After you have tried to be a air head to please him.
ReplyDeleteWhich Nigerian man doesn't like independent women, if I hear!
ReplyDeleteThese men will practically feed off you.
I had to stop working cos I had to relocate.....fast forward to fours years later I keep hearing about husband who wants their wife to b dependent on them I thought it was not real until my collected my ATM without my knowledge after helped me withdraw money and prob he checked my balance.....this man withdrew all my money close to 400k in one month and my with my MTN sim that receives alert was faulty and I needed to cut the sim for it to fit into my android phone so you imagine my surprise to get an alert the day I fixed my sim wit a balance of 5k.....I almost fainted....looked for ATM card Didt see it...only for me to tell oga he brought it out from his wallet and said he all pay back....its bn 2yrs no money refund if I ask he ll casually say do you lack anything... No I don't but I need that money in my Acc to feel safe like I have something to fall back on....from all I this I noticed some men jus want to keep controlling der spouse
ReplyDeleteMumu woman
DeleteAs in extra mumu kee u, awon obo(monkey) jatijati.... u r just so dumb.
DeletePlease rearrange your tenses
DeleteI'm surprised by this. Thought they always clamor for an independent woman.
ReplyDeleteI think the only time this will scare them is when their women earn way higher than them. Might be wrong though.
Oya over to the men.
@ Uniq Gem.. You are correct. I really don't think men can go all the way to provide all the needs of a modern woman. Unlike the olden days where sophistication was not in place, the level of awareness is not as you have it today,there's so much to be done this days from the expensive school fees of the children to the day to day upkeep of the house not to forget shopping and other 'orisirisi' that comes with having a family.
DeleteHowever the man may need an extra hand in his wife to support his home, he will feel threatened when the wife earns more than him. His psychology changes and then starts thinking ahead what his richer wife would be capable of doing knowing she's richer than her husband.
I doubt it o, in this age and time? most men i know prefer independent women no one wants a liability i tell you. I work and own my own and my hubby is very comfortable with it,, however he pays all the bills minus my upkeep cause i can afford my own lifestyle...so i am very independent but i am not the man of the house. Xxx
ReplyDeleteI am independent, I have been independent for a long time, even back in school, I was on scholarship and it paid most of my bills. I try not to make my money come up in relationships but I don't know how to ask bobo for money sha. I am so used to paying mine and my family's bills that I just carry on even when I am in a relationship. Imagine my shock when my sister's bf started sending me airtime, Only to hear he has been sending to my other siblings and mum as well.
ReplyDeleteI have never had an issue with any guy because of my independence but what do I know? I am still unmarried
Maybe that's why you ain't married yet
DeleteDouble standards! Most of them don't even know what they want. They can't deal with the independent ones bcos they feel threatened by her shine & can't deal with the dependent ones cos they see them as liabilities.
ReplyDeleteI've asked myself continually, WHAT DO MEN WANT?
My dear,that is just the way I see these guy . They just can't make up their mind. My hubby is one of such.
DeleteExactly my thoughts...what do men want????????
DeleteExactly my thoughts...what do men want????????
DeleteIt's a two way thing. Some men don't like independent women because they feel they're worthless with such women. While some men go about looking for women who are independent so they won't be spending much in the home front. Most men will tell you they can't marry a woman who does not have a steady source of income. Some will be chyking you the first question they'll ask is "what do you do"? Smh
ReplyDeleteIt is good for a woman to be independent to some extent and its best she knows when to stamp her feet on the BREAK!To me it is good,but in the real context and biblicaly men hold the overall independence.I once spoke to a lady of our generation that the reason of most broken homes nowadays is because African women have so much clinged on WESTERNISATION(INDEPENDECE)!As for me i'd like my wife to work,as the bible clearly states that a woman is a helper.But on the other hand lets not forget that we are Africans & we value our culture and inheritance.Being independent does not mean she should forget that she's under a man if she values her union.
ReplyDeleteMost men like independent women but most women don't like being independent.
ReplyDeleteWomen in general prefer to toggle between semi-dependent and independent. They can't take a stand because independence has to do with being totally RESPONSIBLE for one's actions and the actions of people around one.
Part of the reason why most ladies wanna marry a God-fearing man is for this reason. They wanna have the justification to pull the HELP MEET card as well as the WHATEVER A MAN CAN DO, SO CAN I card at their convenience.
99% of women in the world don't wish to be independent. They prefer semi-dependence.
To reiterate, most men prefer the maturity an independent woman exudes. Ladies don't kid yourselves. Be independent.
To be dependent and indirectly independent, pays off o, u go enjoy scarra. Lol
ReplyDeleteYaah
DeleteMost men these days are fucking lazy. They're even the ones looking for made women themselves. Once you tell them you're jobless, they port but once they know you earn good money ,the next thing is by force proposal...
ReplyDeleteAm a working class lady but God forbid I marry a man that won't foot my bill except I know he's not financially buoyant, but if he's rich... Amachop the dole together...
Oluwa the rich boo privder,I want my hubby to be as rich as Emoney...
Korei kwa!😍💋 Babes, haka yayi kamata😂😃😅👍kin fada zuchiana kawai!
DeleteYou sabi them. Before they ask your name they will first ask "what do you do"
DeleteKwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
DeleteWe're in d this same shoe joor
I work hard to get every kobo in my purse
But that doesn't mean you will not give me as a wify
If only our dear men will come out and reply.. then the post would be fun!
ReplyDeleteBut we all know our men on here loves coded tinz lol
So the comment section is probably going to be filled with women and out opinion(s) 😯😯
Very coded bunch kikikiki
DeleteIndependent fire!!..I did that shit sometime ago and gave off the Wrong vibes.. He thought I was proud cos I never asked for the peanuts he offered.
ReplyDeleteThe thing is when u start making your own money as a woman ,your attention shifts from money to needing time,attention and perhaps the mere mention of marriage will send u into a frenzy of excitement...Thats why independent women end up with fuck Boys most times who fuck them,spend their money and still dump them...
A man will respect you if u are not a liability but when it comes to marriage,pls allow him fulfill his manly obligations both financially and otherwise.
I have seen marriages whereby women are the major spenders and everyone is happy...Provided the woman doesn't rub it on the man's face or exhibits arrogant behaviors especially in cases where the man is out of job or financially handicapped.
At times, women who are independent are known to be very rude, bossy and quite condescending;therefore men avoid them totally.
Men don't like independent woman cos to them u have taken away the "manliness" in them.. Responsible men want to provide,protect and pamper their women..
No matter how much you make as a woman, pls always ask for money from your man, its your right!!!
And the little he manages to provide, please appreciate it...
A good woman with a good head on her shoulders will always apply wisdom in her spendings, save for rainy days if the husband is rich and she will also contribute hers to make ends meet to ensure balance. ..
Thank u!!!
Your first paragraph gave you out as proud and condescending woman. Women these days are something else. Fuck up and I will treat immediately
DeletePlenty e-kisses to u... I like being independent but I have my limits, when it falls to boo I allow him spend, I take money from him, cus in few months time I will walk down the aisle with him and what happens when I ask? He will say I have been pretending. I work and I have my own cash, he is aware, one thing that attracted him to me was my independence. Yet he doesn't allow me spend my kobo when he is there
DeleteHold on a minute. Pls let d ladies first define what d term "independent woman" means. That way we men can say if we like or not.
ReplyDeleteBelieve me Stella, I have heard of different conflicting definitions of "independent woman" from women themselves.
I've even seen a case where d independent woman doesn't depend on her man, has her own business but then depend on favors from men for her business to thrive.
Waiting for d true definition.
True that!
Deletehi blog fam!!I missed you all.its bn over a month I couldn't even visit,I cldnt even do the #100 airtel 5days subs.bt thank God for good health.If I were independent it wouldn't have reach this,but hubby sinks and I drowned with him instead of pulling him out.its good to be independent joor
ReplyDeleteTHE ISSUE HERE IS "TRUST"
ReplyDeleteWhen one says "spouse" one is talking about "life partner"; husband or wife. If one has chosen above (all men or) ladies to live with "this fellow' as a life partner in love; then love is all about sharing. When one say "my husband's money" or "my money" is it not an anomaly? when one shares everything intimate (including sex); if they can't have funds together; where is the oneness? Hasn't the aim of marriage been defeated? The issue of oneness is in sharing everything. The excuses many give is "I don't trust her to know how much I earn or am worth". If one is a follower of Christ; who did Jesus give "his wallet"; was it not Judas? How much trust did Jesus have for Judas? These are some of the issues that intending spouses should define in courtship.
On a personal note; my husband and I had a common "account" from the moment I accepted to marry him. He decided to put me in charge of every financial spending. He makes contributions and there is no issues about that. There is no account that we have had since marriage that bears one person's name and the mandate is "either to sign". WHEN YOU TALK ABOUT "HIS MONEY" "MY MONEY" hasn't the purpose of marriage been defeated?
Finances usually breeds quarrel among couples and the taste of the pudding is in the eating. Married for more than a decade an NEVER ARGUED is our testimony by the grace of God. When there is concealment of finances, the lady makes demands, suspect the husband of keeping a concubine etc. But when the two are open to each other in the way described above; thee will be no room for mutual suspicion!
A couple we know lived financially apart. The man is reasonably well to do but the wife dared not ask or "take his money". He gave her "handout" of money from time to time; monthly allowances etc. All his businesses were solely in his name. He took ill and his doctor gave him a damning health verdict and he had a surgery fixed. He knew that he may not come out of the theater alive. He quickly summoned his wife and took her to all his accounts and made it Joint and she could sign. Made his kids 'next of kin" in all the accounts and re-registered all his businesses with the wife's name inclusive. Even the financial aspect of the surgery and bills, the wife was in charge. He told her, "If I do not come out of the theater alive, sell all the exotic cars and keep just two" etc. IT WAS NO LONGER AN ISSUE OF THE WIFE TAKING "HIS MONEY"; THE WOMAN WAS IN CHARGE. He confessed certain misdeeds to the lady and they prayed together and he got into the theater. AFTER 9 HOURS OF SURGERY, the news came . . . he survived it! It was this singular experience that changed his attitude towards family finances as concerns his wife. She knew about every penny that dropped or left the "family business" as it became.
Then he said to them, "Watch out! Be on your guard against all kinds of greed; life does not consist in an abundance of possessions." (Luke twelve vs. fifteen)
Stella men love independent ladies while dating or not too serious in d relationship, but they want u to be dependent as a wife. For me I am independently dependent😆😆
ReplyDeleteTrue...
DeleteSeat not sit Stella
ReplyDeleteI'm Miss Independent.. I have my money but I need a man that can take care of me
My independence end for my account o
I need to marry a man that earns more than me... Not these low self esteem guys I keep meeting
Finance issues is a leading cause of divorce
I am working my ass off so as to always be independent. I am unperturbed about what a man thinks of it.
ReplyDeleteI do it for me and for the people I love.
MISS Jacobs.
being independent means a woman had her own money, she works or do business. i have always had my own money, even if its not much i dont depend on a man for anything. if you give me i will take dont misunderstand me. once i get married i pray my husband allows me to continue to work cos i cant depend solely on him as he may have his own extended family while i have mine to cater for . the necesary thins he will do , like feeding, housing and sch fees.
ReplyDeleteNB: not all independent women are prostitutes. we have jobs you know ( i am a banker myself and still single)
I started fending for myself early in life and thats the life ive come to know.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say"I hustle like a man cos I was taught not to depend on one".
I remember talking marriage after graduation and my dad was like"Do you want to be a liability to the guy, you should be talking about a job .Tell him to wait, if he is meant for you he will stay'.
No matter what a man gives to me, the one I make for myself is like Gold in my hands.
I think guys these days want an independent lady.I resigned last year to set up my business, still finding my feet in the business world.Just the other day, a guy told me that he would have married me if I was still in a paid employment that he doesn't want me now that am struggling cos it will be disastrous if he looses he job ".
I was speechless cos he pointed out my struggles as if it was a disease.I have since been praying to God for a breakthrough.
Most guys I know these days always drop the "What do you do for a living" line.Some guys take pride in showing off their babes/wives when they are doing well in their chosen career.
#Miss Independent
I've always been an independent woman. My ex husband couldn't stand it. Infact what he wanted was for me to be dependent on him. So many times I quit work and business because of his stupid low self esteem and insecurity. There are times I displayed my business profit and capital forcefully in the wardrobe for him and before I say jack, it's stolen. Well then na borrow him b dey borrow till the money go enter voice mail. Then I find myself begging for 50 naira, 100 naira. He derives joy in seeing me beg him for every little thing. Bobo ye ma fe pa ina irawo mi ke, ori Iya Debi ni o sun.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, it's one of the major reason why we fell out...
Oh yes, I didn't forget to go anonymous.
Lol@ Atheist
ReplyDeleteMy ex loves chairlady position, he comes faster sef but fragile me coupled with the pain(tight healthy ikpu) I hate it. I don't like penetration at all, cunnilingus all the way
He's just a lazy hustler
Stays at home watching girls fight on Facebook
Dependent man..
Thank God I left
Tueh
I love to depend on my man for some things even though i can afford to do them.
ReplyDeleteI love it even more, when he humors me and do what i asked for.
So i advice men out there to try to take responsibility for those little or even big stuffs, it goes a really long way in melting a lady's heart.
My advise to women is be financially independent but let the man pick the bills in the home, u only pay the bill when u re sure he doesn't have...let ur money cool off in ur bank account. The truth is men are ego beings, if u feed his ego, u can eat off his hands. Men have the need to feel relevant, anyone who is ok being irrelevant isn't a real man and it's a major character flaw...for the wives who have turned themselves to breadwinners in the name of being independent, their husbands are doling out cash to either his family or side chicks just to feel relevant...women need wisdom to handle this. the Bible refers to you as a help mate, u shd only help when there is need and not take a lead and emasculate the man...u wil keep spending and the man sef will not give u joy. A man who knows himself knows u have money but he isn't bothered abt ur money, even when broke, he finds it difficult to ask u. So women, know when to spend and when to allow a man be a MAN.
ReplyDeleteSERIOUS MATTER. CAN A MAN COMPLETELY PAY THE BILL OF HIS WIFE. I DOUBT. JESU OLUGBALA
ReplyDeleteI make $130,000 yearly while my wife makes $180,000. She is lovely and quite respectful despite the income gap. Independence and money would never create problems as long as love and respect are the core values of a relationship.
ReplyDeleteSix hundred and fifty nine k Aed a year ,that's not bad..
DeleteI'm getting a little over that too and it's been hard for me to keep a relationship lol
I like my Mrs dependent, if she wants to make her own money, fine by me, but my woman has been too comfortable for long, any business I open for her goes poof hahahahahaa, I figured she's a bad business woman, so I employed her as my chaffuer, she drives me to and from work, she does for the kids too, I pay her well, plus other work benefits hahaha which she demanded, she pays tax in the bedroom, all she does is drive and she enjoys it a lot, she'll soon go for leave, I hope it makes her feel independent because she still ask for lunch allowance during work hours, funny woman.
ReplyDeleteU re loco, but I like u😅😅😅😅😅😅....
DeleteLoco means crazy o
Hahahahahahaha...
DeleteLwkmd!...
This is hilarious...
This made me smile. I like you.
Delete😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅😅
DeleteThis man you no well finish true.
I like you.
You keyed into something she likes doing and pay her for it👍👍👍
Awwww...so sweet! Now this is what it means to be the head of a house;you're observant,protective,considerate and wise in your ways. God bless your home.
DeleteHmmm... women independent is sweet and good only if the man understand the woman is to compliment and not his rival in making money... For me ooo i prefer my woman make money at least i will have a litlle access to it
ReplyDeleteJust negodu!...
DeleteWhen they say men should come out,you will carry your gold digger self and come abi?...
I pity desperate working class single women!...
Real gold digger man. Osho free.
DeleteYes those men are the ones whose mothers, sister & female relatives known to them & most women in their social circle or levels r either beggars, jobless, or the working poor like make up artists, hair dressers etc. So, they automatically assume & attach negative feelings towards a capable & self sufficient woman and the type who doesn't wait for or beg or allow a man to rubbish her.
ReplyDeleteIt's obvious that those are the primitive minded men who feel threatened or less masculine by a woman's social & economic independence.
Its good to have an independent wife. I am a married man and pay all our bills 100% by the grace of God but i beg God daily to increase me. people against wives that are independent, The day You die (God forbid). what will become of your family with a lazy wife that does nothing? THINK
ReplyDeleteStella dear. I'm married with kids. I was an independent woman before I got married. I think most men prefer independent women because my hubby told me my job was one of the reasons that made him to consider me a marriageable partner. The first thing his mum asked me when she met me was my job. Well I dropped 60% of our wedding expenses. He treated me like a queen. Then I lose my job and he started taking care of almost everything, he didn't have a tangible means of livelihood, it was so draining to him, the only thing he does those times is he will be behaving like a god over me by controlling me. After sometime, I got another job and earn good pay. I foot all the bills in the house now. I allow him control my money and he treats me like a queen. People around do not know why we are the best couple only his family knows that I foot most of the bills because he tells them and also he transfers money from my account to mum's own sometimes. In all of these, he doesn't abuse me, he has never hit me even when I didn't have, he never cheated on me before(well I have never seen any sign since we got married). Let me add that I let him know I can always survive without a man, he knows, I have my personal skills that generates money for me no matter what. So he can't threaten me with divorce or anything even if I'm jobless. I try to take care of my own folks mostly without his knowledge. I reserve some money secretly for such. I don't have personal savings and I don't care, he is trustworthy. He treats me well and he is hard working but some life forces like low education is hindering him, he is not a womaniser, we have peace and love in our home. What else do I need?
ReplyDeleteChai!,..
DeleteNwanyi ibem anaa!..
Your husband and his family have knacked three white pigeons on your head!...
You are now their Mugu for life!...
Just hear your self,the only reason why your husband married you is because of your job!...
I don't blame him nah,gold digger!...
Him and his mother are seriously digging your gold!...
See as I dey pity you!...
Why won't he treat you like a queen when you are his meal ticket?...
Dude will never divorce you!...abi you wan make hunger kill him and his family?...
I'm sure you don't give your parents the way you squander on your husband and his people!...
Ndia ji gi na oru mehn!,..
"Nwanyi ibem anaa!.."
Delete😅😅😅😅😅
L.E abeg leave me I take God beg you.
Your first paragraph ehn....😅😅😅😅
Nwanyi ibem anaa!.."
Delete😅😅😅😅😅
L.E abeg leave me I take God beg you.
Your first paragraph ehn....😅😅😅😅
But you make so much sense though...The bitter truth you aired.
Anon pls pray that God should turn things around for your husband. He is meant to be the head of the home not you.
Even the bible says a man who cannot take care of his family is worse than an infidel.
Such responsibilities! And you are someone's wife. You guys have basically switched roles as it is.
Her eyes is really open closed. Na God go deliver her ooo cos she don chop for mouth.
Deletemehn i am dependent on my husband oh but when it comes to buying panties and such i buy them myself if he wants he can get them too. but other things I depend on him fully thats why God made him the man of the house and head of the home not me. M just his helpmate. my 2 cents
ReplyDeleteAnnony I lafffff with all you wrote oo,your driver? That's good and she gets her salary,na work ooo,no be punishment. God bless your marriage and sense,to quickly notify her flaws n you sort her out in another form. That's good bro.
ReplyDeleteEvery man should pay their family bill/fees that's why they are the head. A woman should work to have money for her feminine indulgences which simply does not end and will not end anytime soon. That does not mean we should not ask for personal upkeep. We should oo. But we should not be a burden on them too so much they will be running rat race
ReplyDeleteYou are so right @ my opinion.
ReplyDeleteYou couldn't have said it any better.
Abeg,men should foot the bills,i once form miss independent,i suffered no be small, now am married to a man that doesnt even want me to lift a pin,just play with the kids,from my cloth,cream down to pad he buys them,he drops pocket money for me,i do send money to my extended family ,but if its too much i just stylishly push the responsibility to him,he knows he cant threaten me,or misbehave cos him know say i be hustler and ideas full my brain.so the point is if u a man that wants you to be solely dependent on him,abeg no argue chop the money while you save and not lose your skills.
ReplyDeleteIt is good women work and be independent... but i love the submissive ones that compliment with their independence... but African Men sha...never satisfied with that woman, he wants to Lord over and be always there... it is not bad sha... but am looking foward to a better GENDER COMPLIMENTING AFRICANS
ReplyDeleteI love been independent but it's exhausting when u don't earn enough.i work but I don't earn much & I'm in a relationship. Don't like asking Cox book isn't doing well for now. But it's really exhausting cox he's relaxed & doesn't bother abt my needs. That's d issue I'm having currently with him cox I sense he's d type that may cox a woman to overwork herself without assisting & I fear for such. Still looking @ him with side eyes. Tho I know he loves me but I still need assistance.Besides I should b d one assisting him not d other way round.
ReplyDeleteI want to independent but I also want to enjoy my independence.
Kidjo, u ar not so correct, sit has been proven scientifically d@ women enjoys sex more dan males.
ReplyDelete