So long a story..na wah oh..
CONFUSED
Dear Stella,
compliments of the season, please pardon me ,i have been battling with this for a long time,each time i type a mail i end up deleting it,and people keep telling me to pray,i have prayed i have cried,i really need your advice and that of my fellow BV's please be kind with your words and please hide my ID.
compliments of the season, please pardon me ,i have been battling with this for a long time,each time i type a mail i end up deleting it,and people keep telling me to pray,i have prayed i have cried,i really need your advice and that of my fellow BV's please be kind with your words and please hide my ID.
I am a 29year old lady turning 30 in 6 months ,i am currently in two relationships,let me call the first Mr C not real name and second guy Mr B, i met Mr C back in university he has always liked me and calls me his wife but i kept him as a good friend so i had nothing or any form of relationship with him but people around us felt we were dating due to what he's been telling them:
I then met a guy after UNI when i was living with my cousin,i was always bored all i do is stay home and care for his kids so because of that i decided to date the guy in 2013 ,the guy was rude and pompous,every time we are together all he talks about was sex and then i wasn't ready to sleep with someone without any form of commitment and he says he cant commit to someone he hasn't had sex with so i broke it off and decided to finally give MR C a chance,i wasn't in love with him i just felt he is someone i have known for so long and his been patient with me,he is wonderful guy,loves me,never cheated,he cares ,he is someone i trust,met with his family both extended ,i know his friends ,every time they will be asking us when we are getting married,he is proud of me,he pampers me and defends me but the problem is he still lives in the family house,the mom always complaining to people that i don't clean her room,help in the kitchen ,help her wash her clothes and so on,his friends thinks am too sophisticated for him:
His place is a small one bedroom flat without kitchen so i will have to share kitchen with his mom and elder sister,he is not doing anything big right now,he says there is somewhere he is managing per job and he gets 50k as salary but he says he is also into contracts and so on,am working and earn ok for myself,he pays his mom 20k ,i have not gotten any financial support from him,i depend solely on my salary or money i get from guys sometimes,i can get maybe 10k from him in a year that is only during the xmas season, each time i ask he will say i don't have,now he wants marriage this year, but am scared,how do i cope with family pressure ,financial pressure,cause i still support my dad financially as my mom is late and am an only girl.
he doesn't want to move out of there he says till he builds his own house and i don't know when that will be,i am scared of family house and his people are always demanding,he feels contented ,he says he doesnt want to work under anybody,am not sure he is searching for a job,he says he has money to take care of me and he is not complaining and so on,our sex life too is boring.
so last year i met someone where i work,he is everything a girl wants,sexually,financially not buoyant but not stingy,he was the first person that actually shown me what dating means,i thought our relationship will be something that will die down with time cause i wasn't really into him at first i was just enjoying all the support,love ,gifts and time with him,he has helped me alot,i thought he was just doing all those things because he wants to sleep with and everything will change after sex but nothing changed.
he is still that guy i met,he lives on his own and i wanted a private relationship cause we work in same compound different company and the other guy leaves in same town too,i demanded for no family no friends relationship but just us and he accepted ,i have the key to his apartment,i visit frequently i spend days with him in doors maybe go see movies,i changed with time from the night crawler and party freak i used to be to this calm girl that enjoys spending time inside with her man,suddenly i stopped having friends he became my friend and partner,i have access to his account but i don't snoop,he has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat,i never knew i was going to fall in love with him this much believe me,i only wanted a support and someone that i can support me,someone we can hangout and be together without marriage talks coming up,private life,someone i can go over to his place and stay without family waking me up or complaining how lazy i am,i am not lazy i just enjoy doing things at my own time,i hate waking up early,i love cooking.
Stella, he is just too innocent,you cant forgive yourself if you hurt him,he has done no wrong,each time i try cutting it off because i want to get married i end up with this chill in my heart cause he is someone i love,the only problem we have is i have not met his parents or sisters,he keep saying with time,i should have patience with him,sometimes he will ask me if i like surprises and so on,last month we ran into his elder brother,he took me to their family church then i saw some of his siblings they actually saw he came with a lady to church but he didn't introduce me to them inside the church cause we left early with one of his sister,it was inside the car that he told her i am his wife to be.
I spoke with him last week trying to know his plans and he said
'1' to get a landed property,like buy a land, 2. to settle down with me, i told him i want to meet his folks he said ok he will make arrangement,he is working and earn more than me,i love him and this is affecting my relationship with MR C,he complains i don't get to see him anymore,i have changed and he wants to breakup with me,i understand his anger,he has really been patient with me,we hardly see cause i spend more time with MR B, now MR C wants me to makeup my mind this month so he can come meet my people but am scared i don't feel anything again for him and am more scared i cant cope with family house also i don't want to let go,what if MR B doesn't marry me or his family doesn't accept me where will I then start from at my age,should i settle with MY C because am not sure of MR B, is marriage about settling or being with someone you love and want to spend the rest of your life with,people around me think am just settling because of age and am scared i wont find someone else and not because i love him,do you think with time i will make him change his mind on leaving family house,can i cope,will i also support his mother or will i start cook for all with my own income and keep praying for GOD to give him a good job,should i take this risk and let him go instead of hurting him,should i just let go or MR B instead?
please Stella help,i don't know what to do i have lost some weight due to thinking.i can send you pictures of both guys on whatsAPP for your eyes only please.
Please please it doesnt matter whether Mr B marries you or not,please i dont see anything working out between you and the one who refuses to stop living with his Mother....Tidy up yourself emotionally and concentrate on one man.If it doesnt work out fine but know that you are putting your eggs in a broken basket and thats even worse.
My whatsapp was deactivated on the phone number on my blog..BVs almost finished me with whatsapp call so i had to run.
Send the for my eyes only to email nau.
Good luck.
Poster what are you doing with a man that still lives with his mum in a one room apartment??? Borrow sense abeg.
ReplyDeleteMadam better drop mummy's boy SHARPLY as in ASAP. Face the guy you work with. Love is a risk if it doesn't work out so be it. But I don't see anything wrong with the guy you work with.
DeleteLet me say it again DROP THAT MUMMY'S BOY ASAP and stop stressing yourself are you a learner ni
Hmmm..deep chronicle!
DeleteLemme wait for concrete chronicle advisers.
Marry Mr. C and send in your chronicle within 6 months. Even if you don't end up with B, C should not even be considered!
DeleteWhen is he going to get his own place? Hope his mum doesn't influence him? The new guy, my dear investigate him properly. Commit it to God in prayer.
DeleteBring that your head for a knock for the getting old statement! Yep, I can and should give you a knock at 30.
DeleteI might be a woman but sometimes women baffle me. At 29/30, what are your goals in life? How can you clearly not like a situation (living with mother and sister, complaints from mother, boring relationship) and still remain confused? Do you realize what marriage is? Are you so focused on the ring and gown that you have forgotten the long road that lies ahead after the ceremony is over?
It was said that women were more detail-oriented, that while a man thought of his goals and how to get there without worrying too much on the details, a woman on the other hand, relied more on SWOT analysis to determine the 'achievability' of the goal; but these days I wonder
Your coment makes no sense at all!!idiot its not all about money ...Am so very sure your "45yrs" old brother still lives with your poor father.east shegoat.🐖🐷🐷🐷🐐
DeleteJust curious. How do you guys pray in the morning after having "great" sex in the night as unmarried people? Who do you pray to exactly?
DeleteMr B is trying to do everything right.
DeleteDon't rush him.
You are happy with him just scared that he hasn't proposed.
Patience! He will and don't nag him about it else he begins to look at you with side eyes like some despe...
Considering Mr C because he has proposed?
I sorry for you.
All the signs of unhappiness are there in your face but because "Mrs" title de hungry you, you wanna jump in, Aunty give yourself brain.
Don't rush in to rush out
Patience!
Marriage is sweet when you are happy and necessary things such as finance, love, commitment, peace of mind etc are in place.
My spirit be signing you up with Mr B.
Just tell Mr C off, explaining as you've done here and concluding that you won't be able to cope with all of that.
All the best, Cheers!
Mummy's boy relationship never works out. My advise? RUN
DeleteStick with the other man and stop double dating.
Please do the right thing poster. Be guided, pray! Very important. Thanks
Delete"...he has taught me how to pray cause HE IS A CHURCH GUY, SEX IS GREAT, MORNING PRAYERS, NIGHT AND BEFORE WE EAT..."
DeleteHe is a church guy, prays morning and night but sex is great, lmao! Ok, bye.
@Tilly shut the f@$k up!Judge Judy Oshi...Virgin Mary of Our Time...
DeleteAnon 20.01 easy tiger. I asked a question. Seeing "great sex" and praying in the same sentence got me confused. So back off!!!
DeleteTilly, it's the age and times we are in. The wrong things are now celebrated openingly while the right things are being shamed and regard as outdated. This is where knowing your God and Bible benefits alot. Anonymous is just feeling guilty and you can understand why. No one is judging anyone. So long we're alive, we all got a chance to make a change. May God help us all.
DeleteChimoo
DeleteSex at night and prayers in the morning
Who exactly are you praying to ?
Lmao !
Marriage is a lifetime institution
ReplyDeletePerson no dey graduate
Money is very important I tell u
But these two men get comma
Woooo poster it is well
He's a church guy, loves GOD,taught you how to pray and sex with him is good? It's alright
DeleteMoney isn't important in marriage. Don't expect your man to have all the money to sustain your marriage, you as a woman should strive to make your own money
DeletePoster the only reason you are considering Mr C is because he has known and wanted you for so long. You can't marry C out of pity. Try and focus on on e man preferably mr B and give him all the attention things could play out. Don't make a lifetime mistake because u are scared of starting over
DeleteHeheheheheh @amanda
DeleteLike really @pervert?
Money isn't important in marriage? Miss me with that talk abeg.
Pervert when I said money,i didn't say ur man should have money...I said money is important ie any of them or both of them could have it as far as money is available
Delete@amanda favour!so what if he is a church going guy and sex with him is great? Thats how girls like you end up with guys who say they are church-guys and cant fuck to save their lives! We dey wait your own chronicle soon ooo!Virginia!
DeleteHuh???money isn't important in marriage???
DeleteThis advice tie wrapper and correct gele.
@ anon, for your info, I'm happily married Witt kids and sex with my hubby is great.
DeleteThen back to the matter, I'm not a saint my dear but my point is this; It's bad enough that she's commiting fornication , why bring GOD into it?
Poster, please before I say anything I need you to answer this question.
ReplyDeleteSo how many people are you gbenshing? One, two or three?
Chai.... you're confused oh. I mean if you can't juggle between guys without getting gap confused then focus on one. I know about the eggs and basket story (cc: queen and boss) but you're not the type who should.
So, again how many are you gbenshing? 😂
😆😆😆😅😆😅😆😅😆@How many are you gbenshing
DeleteGbenshing two. Lol
DeletePlease how did *gap* enter my comment? 😳 see me see this auto correct oh. Thinking on my behalf #wehdonemah
Delete-those 3 =5
DeleteThank me later😃😃😃😃
How many is she Gbenshing? U are obviously daft...go back and read to see that it's 2.... olodo
DeleteB and C
DeleteMummy Stella, I love your red pen
ReplyDeleteHe is a church guy.
DeleteWe pray morning and night...
Sex is great.
Huh?
What is going on with the world?
All I can see is he prays very well and fucks very well too. Lol, sdk beevees o. If it was a man now, y'all will crucify him for cheating and leading 2 people on, but u r a woman so it's OK to cheat. Poster I ll advice u dump dt boy that lives with his mum before the other serious guy finds out about him and dumps you. You are better off single than marrying a total liability.
DeleteLater they be forming mermaid. Yeye dey smell. See how she's begging for her ID to be hidden. I'm sure she's one of the mermaid screaming BVs. 😂
DeleteWhen we think its getting better, my dear you criosly need to work on yourself.. Don't be easily carried away with emotions.. Learn to keep it in check so you can think straight.goodluck dear.
ReplyDeleteGlowyshoes's blog
Firstly, how can you say he never cheated on you guys weren't dating at all. You're dating different men at the same time and want something meaningful to come about,the only thing that will come out is heartbreak and slacked tohtoh cos you will be busy servicing different dicks at the detriment of your tohtoh.
ReplyDeleteDarling, please take a break from all these relationhips, set your goals, consult your inner self and find out what you really want in a man, don't rush into marriage cos na you go rush comot. Man no dey finish for market, act sensibly now that you're single to avoid m makwara
Poster dis guy dey make sense.listen to am.abeg let me point it out clear here marriage no be acheivmnt,africans nid to stop putting demselvs into dis unnecessary pressure.get ur priorities right b4 u marry,its not a do or die affair.make sure ur ready to settle down emotionally n financially(including ladies pls).dont bring some children into dis world n make dem suffer bcs of ur mindset.bikonu age hz nothn to do here.u go born no dey Fear n if u no born,adopt.ders no special award given 4 rearing ur own child.my one cent.
DeleteYour Mr c sound very funny when I read where you said until he built his house that's when he can live his family house.the two relationship self has comma, you are not in a relationship yet. Just be patient and keep praying very hard for God to send you your rightful missing rib.when he comes you will surely knows.
ReplyDeleteYou were a night crawler and a party freak, now at twenty nine your eyes have cleared and u want to marry in a hurry. Seems it's gonna take a while before u settle down becoz u seem to have no choice, u wasted your youth partying.
ReplyDeleteLmao
DeleteThank you
DeleteDay just de break for her eye... She de find perfect man now, wen she's a cheat.
Hmmmmm
Delete@Anonymous "orubebe "
MoGbeIdi fun yi Ma
I troway back yansh Ma
@Galore
Mtcheew
DeleteWhich youth has she wasted? It is stupid talk like these that make girls rush into unfulfilling relationships. Stupid somebody!
DeleteDesperate at 29 this can never end well. Better relax and look well. Because in marriage if you rush in you will rush out. X
DeleteFrom what I see here you are scared of being single ...you are not really into these guys yours is just to settle down with the first person that shows up with a ring.
ReplyDeleteI am feeling the one that works in same building ( don't know if it's b or c got lost at some point).I feel he really wants to settle down with you but not immediately cos he still wants to be more financially stable.
Well, who am I to choose for you.All the best with your choice.
You don't love either one of them. You love yourself and you are desperate to marry.
ReplyDeleteMr B seems married already or he likes you so much but not enough to marry you except you want to drug him to the altar. I think he is married already.
Mr C is your best bet. Tell him you have to get your own house and he has to get a job. The thing is, you don't care enough to motivate him.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
He taught me how to pray and sex is great...... Issorai..
ReplyDeleteKeep on cheating oh, and xpect good results, abeg i'm stressed 2day. Toss a coin or dice.
Atheist i love you. I want to be your friend. ☺☺😊 how do i contact you if you don't mind?
DeleteAbeg don't marry both guys...too much baggages and pls y do Nigerian girls can't stop thinking of their age.
ReplyDeleteI would like to digest this. He is a church person, SEX IS GREAT, prayer in the morning and evening before and after sex obviously. I am not judging you but we all know that you cannot claim to be a church person and be commiting fornication. It's not by force to be christian. You are or you are not. It's amazing how people claim to be chritians yet commit sin without any form of guilt whatsoever. Well, maybe he is a church goer. There are lots of them. You are obviously confused, double dating. You will have problems if ypu marry either of them. Mr C is not ready for marriage. "For therefore shall a man leave his mother and father and cleave to his wife". The new CHURCH guy is hiding something. I would have said you should pray but I dont know if you would take that seriously. And seems like you need to work on yourself too. You do things at the right time and not when you feel like. That's laziness. Don't be desperate else you will send "my divorce story 100'. All the best
ReplyDeleteDon't mind her..God will not answer your prayers cos you are living in active sin of formication. Yes he is merciful sometimes but living in sin is dangerous... if one relationship doesn't work out then end it and move on. You are desperate and feel u must latch on to one man by force...marriage is not the total sum of your life so stop being desperate...take your chance with the new guy, if it works fine if not move on..
DeleteAbeg no vex, i have a question, after praying at night does it means that you guys have "great" sex without feeling any guilt, and in morning after early morning sex you also feel free and top it with morning prayer.
ReplyDeleteWhy do girls rush to live with a man that hasn't paid their bride price?
ReplyDeleteWhy do girls misunderstand relationship to mean having sex?
Why are girls foolish?
If not for the fact that you said you meet his elder brother,i would have thought we are dating the same person, but in my own case i no gree open leg.
ReplyDeleteas for me the relationship with d one who lives with his family is fucked up. i once lived with hubby's family and it wasnt pleasant at all. i dont advice u to marry him but as for me i would go for d second guy. happiness is everything. sex, money, privacy and love is necessary in marriage. also hold both of them at d same tym any better one dat works u go for it. yes, i did it b4 i got married. i just had to choose from d best. is had to maintain multiple relationships at a tym. above all, is ur decision to make and ur happiness is necessary
ReplyDeleteGirl, this boy you LIVE with is going to LEAVE you up and dry and abandoned!
ReplyDeleteHe TAUGHT you to have great sex and to pray and you THOUGHT that the two can mix together?
Don't you see that you are deceiving yourself fornicating and expecting heavenly blessings?
You are confused because you brought confusion of unrepentance from dead works into your life;
Filthiness cannot go with godliness
How do u guys do the morning prayers after you have had a night of "great" sex as unmarried people. Who do you pray to exactly? I am just curious.
ReplyDeleteYou got to be kidding me the staying with the mum alone cancels or strike him of the list Biko get rid of am 30 in the next six months so u don't make choices you would regret
ReplyDeleteAbeg let mr C go , it will never work out between you two.And what's this about age? So you are already desperate at 29 to the extent you are willing to short change yourself.calm down girl, you still have time to get it right but you need to stop dating anything just because you are desperate for marriage. Stick with the guy that works with you in the same compound, Even if it didn't eventually lead to marriage. But my mind tells me it will if you both work at it. Stop making marriage decision based on how old you think you are.
ReplyDeleteI am going to paste something here because you talk about "having sex" with him and he "taught you to pray". I got confused reading your lines.
ReplyDelete1 Corinthians 6:18 Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a person commits are outside the body, but whoever sins sexually, sins against their own body.
Going through the comments,I am so happy our God has people who are proud of Him.
DeleteYes o. Thank God we still have BVs who stand up for the truth. This poster is mixing sex with prayers. The devil would just be somewhere laughing. Can light and darkness stay together?
DeleteNa wa oh! Madam B,C,D i really pity your tohtoh.....Anyway, my advice is Don't be desperate to get married, take your time. 2. DO NOT MARRY A MAN THAT STILL LIVES WITH HIS PARENTS. 3.Focus on one guy, nurture your relatiionship with the guy that works in same compound with you and see if things works out if it doesn't, move on.. a better man will come.....Most importantly, work on yourself spiritually, physically, morally etc...Wish you all the best.
ReplyDeleteNice one @Yvonne. Focus on one guy. You can't eat your cake and have it. Same applies to having pre marital sex and praying. But, who am I to judge? Still, decide and take a stand before you lose it all. All the best.
DeletePoster don't bring unnecessary headaches your way. The guy works in same building as you but different company's. He treats you well and he is independent.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, please that is the only man I would recommend for you out of them all.
Why harbor negativity when you haven't even met his folks. The one whose mother you have quickly met, how is it going with her.
Please calm down and have hope in the God you pray to.
Stick with Mr B before he finds out you are actually cheating.
He sounds like the one with a vision. Don't ruin it.
And yes I am a guy giving you this advise.
The God she prays to after a night of "great Sex"? I doubt HE listens!
DeleteBut what do I know
God is not a man
DeleteGod is not a Man
DeleteGod is not a man
DeleteThe poster is a big fool gbenshing every available dick.AIDS is real babe.Wake up.
ReplyDeletefollow the church guy. The guy staying with his mum, his family will frustrate your life and he is immature. You will be miserable with him
ReplyDeleteMr A,B,C small time e go be 1, 2, 3. Sex Life Is Great We Pray, Fuck And Go To Church, Na U Sabi Only 3men
ReplyDeleteLeave Mr C, he doesn't get it.
ReplyDeleteHang in there with Mr B, meanwhile you earlier said you wanted a family and friends free relationship, now what changed?
Savage chronicle
ReplyDeleteMadam poster can't u allow ur pussy to rest?only u dating 3 abi 4 men! Wats ur problem?if u don't have or sleep wit a man,u go die?pls get a grip of ur self and give ur self some self worth!people lik us dat hv noted dated for over 2yrs going,we don die? Madam abeg concentrate on ur job,and get closer to Jesus Christ!His d only One dat can give u ur own suitor dat wld never live u or abandon u! Face ur work and pray and give ur life To Our Lord Jesus Christ! U still too young to be entangled in dis love fiasco uv put urself into! D guys in question sef are not even guys one can say u shd immidiately settle down with!most especially d one dat still lives in his family house! Girl give ur self some brain abi na sense na! Ur life doesn't have to revolve around man all d time!give urself some self worth and respect pls!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteMadam poster can't u allow ur pussy to rest?only u dating 3 abi 4 men! Wats ur problem?if u don't have or sleep wit a man,u go die?pls get a grip of ur self and give ur self some self worth!people lik us dat hv noted dated for over 2yrs going,we don die? Madam abeg concentrate on ur job,and get closer to Jesus Christ!His d only One dat can give u ur own suitor dat wld never live u or abandon u! Face ur work and pray and give ur life To Our Lord Jesus Christ! U still too young to be entangled in dis love fiasco uv put urself into! D guys in question sef are not even guys one can say u shd immidiately settle down with!most especially d one dat still lives in his family house! Girl give ur self some brain abi na sense na! Ur life doesn't have to revolve around man all d time!give urself some self worth and respect pls!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteNone of the above for you abeg
ReplyDeletehe has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat,
ReplyDeletehahaha sorry for you people. christians and fornicating. repent first before thinking of all these. 'he brought me close to God" and sex is great. yimu. please go and sit down one side jor
he has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat,
ReplyDeletehahaha sorry for you people. christians and fornicating. repent first before thinking of all these. 'he brought me close to God" and sex is great. yimu. please go and sit down one side jor
he has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat,
ReplyDeletehahaha sorry for you people. christians and fornicating. repent first before thinking of all these. 'he brought me close to God" and sex is great. yimu. please go and sit down one side jor
he has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat,
ReplyDeletehahaha sorry for you people. christians and fornicating. repent first before thinking of all these. 'he brought me close to God" and sex is great. yimu. please go and sit down one side jor
Your stupidity is st it's peak.....foolish gwegz. So you can't talk to her without name shaming christains. I pity your generation
DeleteI just wonder how you will feel if you discover that Mr B and Mr C both have side chick they are gbenshing, that is exactly what you are doing now, gbenshing two guys and cheating on them, na wa for you oooo, you even do the analysis "sex with Mr C is boring, sex with Mr B is great" chai you be champion. You are just confused my dear, know that you can't eat your cake and have it. No wonder they say 80% of a woman's first child does not belong to her first husband (confirmed from a DNA specialist). Please don't put innocent men into future dilemma ooo to father a child that is not theirs.
ReplyDeleteSo 20% of the child matches her husband's DNA. Mr abi Mrs, the study you quote does not even cite a sizeable number enough to make such a conclusion.
DeleteEnter your comment...
ReplyDeleteok
Na wa for this poster sha...
ReplyDeleteSo cos of ur age u want to settle for less...like seriously..
Na by force to marry....pls take ur time ND don't rush into marriage....
Can u imagine mr C is even giving u condition,both of u just want to settle down no love here...
Mr c isn't your future, he is tied to his mother's apron. You would never be happy.
ReplyDeletemarrying this mr c would be a nightmare. you are already seein signs of he hell you wold go through with his family especially with his nagging other. also do you want to pay the bills after marriage? be wise
ReplyDelete.... "he has thought me how to pray cause he is a church guy,sex is great,morning prayers,night and before we eat," Such an oxymoron.. its good you said he is a church guy..that is exactly what he is.. he lacks spirituality and that is what God expects from us..
ReplyDeleteA church is like a house without a foundation.. but a deeply spiritual person is the one who FEARS God and obeys him such as fleeing from fornication.
You think the prayers u claim to pray God hears it?when you are blatantly disobeying him? You cannot mock God,you reap what you sow!
As for me o, i will advice u to go for Mr B, cos Mr C baggage is damn too much...but what do i know!
ReplyDeletemadam poster, Mr C is a no go area. am matured man does not live in a family house, dont try it.know what you want and stick to it. i am well over 30 as in well over and i am not desperate to marry. not even for a man that still lives with his parents. its not gud enuf
ReplyDeleteIf you truly love Mr B,what's this chronicle about?build your relationship with him,take it a day at a time.if you like to do things at your own pace,don't ever try to live in a family house,IT WONT END WELL!
ReplyDeleteThe new man is a churchy fellow, you pray together and yet the sex is great? Please what kind of church does he attend that permits outright fornication? God is not mocked, what a man sows, that he will reap. Too many people take God for granted.... we do what he hates and except him to hear us? Please repent. The foundation of God stands sure having this seal - God knows his own and let everyone that calls upon God depart from iniquity. 2 Timothy 2:19
ReplyDeleteDon't mind the very sick over grown baby.you make Christianity look like a joke. At 29 you can't place your hand in what you want.ewu
DeleteYou only want to marry, you don't have love for any of these guys but you need to throw that your baby boy away through the window. You don't need him.
ReplyDeleteNa wa oh..Now I truly believe sense doesn't come with age.age . Madam please marriage is not a joke,everything adds up to make a good marriage ie love,trust,finances,relationship with each other,relationship with family and most importantly relationship with God. A lady should be able to know what qualities she wants in a husband and what she can tolerate and what she can't. Whatever you are not okay with before marriage will only get worse after marriage because the man and his family will feel entitled to you .Stop fornicating up and down ma,take sometime out and put your life in perspective and make your decisions clear headed and if you really need Gods input, please honour him and stop praying to him after sex with a man who is not your husband . No be today God begin suffer for our hand.hand . I wonder what you girls think marriage is sef,a joke?..
ReplyDeleteMy thoughts exactly. 29 behaving like 18....mtcheeeew
DeleteNice one@Goldmine. "look before you leap". I can just imagine the number of women who go into marriage out of ignorance! There's a great need for educating us women esp the younger ones on the values to uphold and what marriage truly means. None is exempt!We need qualified mentors to navigate asap!
Deletedear poster, i wont advise Mr C, He has refused to move out of where he is with the mum and when he ends up with you it'll be in the same house and you'll turn housemaid for them all in the name of say you marry. don't let pressure push you to Mr C if the love is not there, and be patient with Mr B, just put your mind at rest and believe it will work out. All the best.
ReplyDeleteShine your eyes!
ReplyDeletePlease leave that Mr C,since he's not ready to be man enough and still wants to live with his mom and sister in the same house. Meanwhile,someone who isn't financially OK but takes care if you is better than he who isn't but doesn't take care of you. Please RUN from Mr C,he is bad news.
ReplyDeleteWhoever u end up with,pls don't stay in a family house...it will frustrate u and kill ur relationship with ur man.I did it before and even though we r now on our own,we still dey recover
ReplyDeleteHaba Stella where is my comment?
ReplyDeleteYou are 30 and still single and selecting... You looking for a money bag an already made man plz what have u achieved yoir self and what can u. Bring to the table?
ReplyDeleteI. Don't encourage ladies going for. Poorer men but u appear greedy long throat want to only reap.
Why so desperate u should relax and let God give u the best man or go and rent a house and marry the guy and become the bread winner hence forth.
Rolex chick.
I got confused at a point. Poster leave the two relationship and focus on yourself first. Know what you want. Marriage is not beans o, it's hard work.
ReplyDeleteYou are desperate.
ReplyDeleteIn life,people take risks. You have decided to play this game, two-timing these guys so just do the best you can at this time and embrace the consequences of your actions. If I were you, I'd ask myself if I really see myself being married to the guy who has no serious ambition and still lives with his mom who is already having issues with you. It's bound to get worst. So if he was even the only guy in your life, would you settle for him? My dear, do that and you will be sending a Divorce chronicle soon. It's not add maths or rocket science, this new guy in your life seems to be everything you want in a man except he is in no hurry to marry. Would it kill you women to have a heart to heart with your men? Throw it to him you feel your biological clock is ticking and just when does he think he will be finally ready to take that leap with you? It's not about pressure, it's just being practical so everyone knows they are on the same page and if there will be a need for some people to move on now. Better now than much later when resentment will now enter. Adults should learn to be civil and use their communication skill better.
ReplyDeleteWhat are you doing living in a man's family house to the extent that his MOTHER complains that you don't clean enough?? Your so-called "man" that teaches you how to pray...nd gives you great sex in the morning nd night wont marry you! He's obviously not interested in committment.
ReplyDeleteYou have a problem with low self-esteem. Stay off men and committments for a while...regardless of your age. Work on yourself.. Fix your life...and get a counsellor dear. Dnt rush into marriage bcus of a ring and a dress. You ll get frustrated quick enough!
I don't want to judge you, since it's not my job but God's. All I will say is, you must choose whom you will serve. If you are going to serve God, then you shouldn't be deliberately doing that which you know He will never approve. Please get to know God more, understand His nature and character by studying more of His word, then ask Him to renew your mind and help you with the grace to live in a manner He approves!
ReplyDeletePoster forgive me on but truly ehhhh. She is just a number...29 and you don't even sound mature. Now let's leave that one....we pray always, morning and night and sex is great....my God what is wrong with you...how won't you be confused when you can't even choose if you wanna serve God or the devil.
ReplyDeleteFocus on God and he will give you what is best for you and stop trying to eat your cake and have it back
I don't think Mr c is ok for you, a man staying in the house with his mum abeg forget him unless he is ready to move out and. I think you should be more prayerful about Mr B God should review him to you if you stop having sex with him.
ReplyDeleteHehehehehehe. Igbos BV almost finished you with begging and cooked stories since 80% of your BV are igbos. #drugpeddlers/armedrobbers/ritualist/businessparner assassins/ 419gers/ prostitutes/ and HIV distributors. South Africa has the highest rate of HIV and AIDS in Africa followed by Nigeria.
ReplyDeleteI am not Igbo but this is outrightly wrong.
DeletePs let's stop this na
Marjorie
Poster you're a two-timing hypocrite!
ReplyDeleteI really don't care if you end up with either man coz no one in this your love triangle seems ready, including you.
I would have said you should pray for God's guidance but you're too busy pleasing your flesh rather than your spirit. No wonder you are confused.
You need to develop clear values and standards that you live by so you dont go wherever the wind blows.
Take some time off relationships and discover yourself. Stop having pre-marital sex so you can be more clear headed in making decisions.
I can't deal with a man that steal lives with his parents even me that is a lady don't live with my parents. My advice is for you to calm down don't get married to that boy, you will face a lot of challenges from his family bc I don't see him planning to move out soon. Calm down, stop acting desperate better take it easy with the later guy, play ur cards well and he will propose to you. Is better to marry late and marry right than marry early and marry into wahala but if you insist on being a desperado marry mummys lazy boy and keep sending us chronicles to entertain us .
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I don't really understand what you're worried about here.
ReplyDeleteYou've stated you don't love the Mr C anymore and he has given you ultimatum to make your decision. The ball is in your court pls.
Be wise!
Oh wow! Sweetie, your self-esteem tank is way below reserve, what gives? What do you mean by "...where will I start from at my age?"? Of course, you'll keep starting from the top until you meet the right one. I always say, just because there are 2 men presently in the picture, doesn't make it an "either" "or" situation. When it comes to something as life-defining as marriage, there's no such thing as choosing the lesser of 2 evils. It should be the choicest best or nothing at all.
DeleteDon't even get me started on the issue of a prayerful christian who gives you good sex... I refuse to go there.
My darling, you shouldn't marry out of pity. There are just too many issues with Mr C. The cardinal rule is, never marry a person who has certain issues you find disturbing, with the hope of "changing" him/her after marriage. If his mother and his sisters treat you this way as his girlfriend, how exactly do you think they will treat you when you become "their wife"? 2 homes can't be in one house without conflict. If you fall out with his mum, whose side do you think he will take? Please do the honourable thing and cut him loose, let him find the right one for him. I'm also of the opinion that you shouldn't commit to Mr B yet, leave room for the one you truly desire to locate you. I have this funny feeling that the only reason you're falling hard for Mr B is because Mr C is the only contender. By the time "Mr X" comes swooping in, you'll amaze yourself at how fast Mr B will no longer be as attractive to you as he used to be.
I once read a post where the author was of the opinion that there's no such thing as "Mr right", that you can make the one you're with right for you. With due respect to the author, that notion, in my opinion, is drenched in fallacy! If that were the case, we wouldn't have the high rate of divorce we are currently plagued with. We wouldn't hear of domestic violence and we certainly wouldn't have a large number of women on beta blockers (anti-hypertensive drugs). The second you marry the wrong person, your life and sanity becomes at stake. I'm sorry, but not all toads can be kissed into becoming Prince charming. It's like saying a faulty foundation wouldn't affect the integrity of the building. Be very careful when it comes to marriage and whom you will spend it with.
#e-bearhugs.
Poster you need correct slap to reset your brain, what are you doing with mummy's boy, you want to marry a man dat still stays in his father's house? You want to become a cook and not a wife, you want to come and serve his mum, sisters every morning kneeling down cos you are a wife? You better borrow some sense and move on with your current dude, love matters alot in marriage, do not Marry someone you don't have feelings for. If your current boo end up marrying another babe just move on cos such how is life.
ReplyDeleteBabes I hv neva commented ere b4 but ur case is exactly like my elder sis case.....any guy living wif his parents nd wants to marry will end u useless....my sis is suffering asin rilly suffering due to dis rubbish. Nw the stupid guy will jst slip nd wake up, no job.....she was suppose to marry one rich guy nw bt my mother said No that she nd dt stupid husband will build future together....Abeg marry the 2nd guy b4 u go send hunger chronicle dt no moni to pay children skull fees.....hv said my own
ReplyDeletePoster, marriage is good, infact beautiful but not when a man stays with his family, mother and elder sister, then you have no marriage, you have seen the complain already the guy is not serious at all, and for mr. B thought you wanted a secret relationship why the sudden change of mind, most of all, have you prayed about the two men or your just they test and forget God who alone can lead you to your destiny and give you everlasting peace, your happiness is between you and God not man, dont put marriage in everything, yes we all need marriage but what is point if you married wrongly, i beat is more painful than been single, think madam think
ReplyDeleteHi poster, its important you think about yourself only. we make such a big fuss about wanting to get married that we forget how wants, you already know what you want in a man why don't you go for it. if it leads to marriage fine, if not you got to experience what love feels like. Marriage is over rated and don't loose yourself and happiness just because you want to get married.
ReplyDelete