STAND ALONE NARRATIVE:
CHRONIC CHEATER:
Good day madam Stella, I'm writing this with a heavy heart, and would need BV's advice on this very crucial matter. I term it crucial cos I'm still very young to go through it.
I have always had issues with hubby about his habit of cheating, he is 15 years older than me, I agreed to settle down with him cos of his sense of humour, he's not rich before people start thinking its bcoz of his money, I'm one person that can't stand cheat, liar or Cunny person.
I only allowed him out of Lagos to go hustle, it's not the first time I'll catch him cheat. Just yesterday I asked to watch some videos on his phone and I saw him deleting a girls video he sent to his friend saying "na my girl for Taraba send am make I take hold body" God! I was so furious and since then I don't even want to set my eyes on him. I think I have had it this time.
Please I need your solicited advice, cos there might be somebody that has gone through what I'm going through, and I'm having so many thoughts please.
Please I need your solicited advice, cos there might be somebody that has gone through what I'm going through, and I'm having so many thoughts please.
This one no fit change
ReplyDeleteHmmmm this is hard sha because me i can't stand cheating too. Look for a quiet time and talk with him, let him know that he is hurting you and if you can't take it again you're gonna leave. Establish yourself financially, if he continues and you can't take it just take a walk.
DeleteAtleast that's a reason for divorce according to the Bible.
DeleteMy dear, men will always cheat. I have been there. But the question is: If you leave this one, how sure are you that the next one will be a saint??? Just hang in there and live yourself and kids more. As long as he doesn't rub the cheating in your face!!!
DeleteAww.. I kinda feel your pain but you know what? Love yourself more.
ReplyDeleteDo you have children? Work on yourself, your body, your mind.. I'm not asking you to do it for him, I'm asking you to do it for yourself. Just be happy, get engaged with other things and don't bother your pretty head over him. If he wants to have sex with you, demand to use a condom cos of infections.
Gbam,on point.
DeleteMy dear im so sorry you are going through this tough time. If you have no kids with him i would advise you to leave him asap!. Divorce is allowed in the Bible in this circumstance. Your mental health is very important.
DeleteIf you do have kids and he is a good father ie is involved in the kids upbringing then for the sake of the kids at least until they get into their teens just manage the man. As my dear mother says ko si okurin to da:- there is no good man. We manage the ones we have to give our children a stable life in their tender years. Take care of yourself very well, keep slim and looking good. If you sleep with him make sure you use condom. Don't worry about him or what he does. Pray for him when you can.
Older men, younger men, same difference.
ReplyDeleteMaybe his cheating kept him from marrying till he got older.
You'll get over it.
The only thing that can change your husband is is prayer. It's either you pray for GOD to change your hubby or you quit the marriage. All married women should be strong in prayer.
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ReplyDeleteHand him a condom whenever it's time for action.
ReplyDeleteA serial cheat hardly changes
If you can't,
Bible accepts divorce on grounds of infidelity.
You wanna walk?
Oh well what do you want us to tell you na
ReplyDeleteShit happens darling and that is men for you
I'm not ggoing to ask you to leave your home ooh, nor will i ask you to cheat back or keep malice with him forever.
The decoding rests with you. You can either say you've had enough and leave. Or you suck it up, forgive him and stay....that way your MRS title is retained
Pele
😀😀😀😀😀😂😂😂😂
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ReplyDeleteu both need counselling, so you can heal
ReplyDelete4 Someone that has Zero tolerance fo Cheats,Liars/ Cunny people, Wat d Hell were u thinking getting Married 2 a Chronic Cheat???????
ReplyDeleteMe too o. I have zero tolerance for liars and cheat .can't deal mbok.
DeleteNne we all have gone tru it. If you weren't married the bitch in me will tell you to fine a side boo too but you are married I can't help you. You need to understand that all men cheat. Yes they ALL cheat. You just gatta find a way of dealing with it.you have to decide if you will be the one to buy the condoms for him or the one to walk away. Be smart.
ReplyDeleteIiiiiiishhh I feel for you mhen, coz I know how bad it hurts. In such cases i wilI always advice you calm down before confronting the cheat.
🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆🙆
DeleteMadam stop saying all men cheat,u can say ur father,brother,cousins and boyfriend cheat not all men plssss
Delete@anon 16:38, I concur wit u. All mem dont cheat. Infact I v 2 very gud friends dat r guys n I can vouch 4 dem , dey r 100% faithful 2 their gals, n I envy d gals cos dey misbehave not kwinh wat dey v. N d tongue is so powerful, wat u say n believe is wat cums 2 u. Becareful.
DeleteWe have not all gone through it. Avoid such hasty generalizations. And not all men cheat. Believe it or not,some men have integrity and self respect. Change your circle and while you are at it, you might need to change your mindset too.
DeleteOlder than u with 15yrs?
ReplyDeleteMy sister, a lot of men/women cheat not because they chose to but women/men will keep disturbing them, just keep praying for him. The truth is that, one day igboro ma Le omo waale meaning be sey Na wetin he dey chop for outside go pursue am come back home shikena
DeleteOnce a cheat is a cheat forever. Just pray he doesn't infect you someday. If you feel you can't take it anymore, just take a walk. It's better to be single and healthy than to be married with stds.
ReplyDeleteShortest chronicle i have ever read. I dont even understand the video deleting gist.
ReplyDeleteGo to God in prayers. He is the only one that can change/turn the hearts of men. Cos all you can do is cry,vex,confront and shout at him. He will apologize and beg but he will keep going back but with more caution to hide his tracks.
ReplyDeleteI think you should confront him when you are less angry. At least, u need to know the extent of, and why he is cheating.
ReplyDeleteThe decision is yours, you him better.
ReplyDelete*you know
DeleteMen and cheating, God forbid
ReplyDeleteMen and cheating indeed, like 5&6
DeleteHmmmmm! O na-agbawa obi.
ReplyDeleteyou are having so many thoughts!! oh yea.. Btw Who ur thoughts help? Abeg act fast cos thoughts alone won't help u. If u don't know exactly what to do ask Queen n Boss of this blog... Am out!
ReplyDeleteHe doesn't have money and he is not humble,and he's also a sugar daddy, my dear your case digodi critical abi crucial
ReplyDeleteMy dear , i thought it was only me thats saw the part where he is old and broke, and he still has mind to cheat, poster if you are still young as you claim , better leave that one and go find greener pastures.
DeleteOmggg...stl has d mind to cheat😂😂😂😂😂
DeleteThis thing doesn't bother me anymore. I have stopped loving and can't get jealous.
ReplyDeleteWow! I can't believe such age difference still exist in 21st century marriage.
ReplyDeleteDear poster, I only advice you hand the issue to God. There is nothing you can do to stop him only God can.
Exactly. I cant marry someone older than me with up to 10yrs sef. Makagini
DeleteHmm,deal with it.
ReplyDeleteWhat someone else has gone through has nothing to do with you. Make decisions with your own brain for you. Meanwhile see valentine gift ideas here http://www.ikoyielite.com/
ReplyDeleteNo confrontation lady. Do not work up yourself for you can't change anything by doing so. You'd make things worse instead.
ReplyDeleteThe Lord will put in everything to preserve a family. Take this steps lady:
1. Fast and pray (even a fruit fast will suffice) for as long as you God grants you grace. Stop the phone conversation; in doing so, you'd know the truth about his actions.
2. Look inwards and make your own life right with God (no one without sins). Begin to love this man the way you've never done before . . . let him wonder "what has come over you". You can win him over (from the so called mistresses without words)
3. Open up to him humbly (if at this stage he has not "reported himself") about "what you found out" . . . and make up your mind to bear with any explanations he comes up with . .
A lady colleague came back from work unexpectedly before time one day and found her husband on top of another lady in their shared bedroom (at that point the man had driven her to be sleeping in the guest room). She greeted them and left . . . called back at work and excused herself. She went to the kitchen brought out food and served them lunch in the dinning table and told the husband with a smile that "lunch was ready for him and his guest" (the man hadn't eaten her meal for months). The nude lady (now dressed) bust out in tears. She asked the man; it this your wife you told me was a she devil? Oh God please forgive me and help me to be like this lady . . . the man's wife wiped her tears and embraced her and she left. The husband was so ashamed and remorseful and pleaded with her not to leave. She looked at him and said "J. . .(his name), if I were to leave, I would have left you since but I love you . . ."
Romans chapter twelve: 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20Therefore“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;If he is thirsty, give him a drink;For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Yimu
DeleteAdvise your daughter abeg make we see road
DeleteHold something
DeleteLove kpukwaragi nonsense
DeleteHiss...he wont change if u cant take it leave,if u love him so much stay...my own hubby if i catch am i will leave him told him alrdy i have my own money so what the hell do i need a cheater for?...
DeleteIt is a cheat, thank me now
DeleteRevenge now shuo,are you that ugly that young dudes don't chyke you?if you carry man matter for head you go die of hbp,see as my room mate dey psychiatric hospital because of man,no man is loyal deal with it mtchheeew
ReplyDeleteSee beg am oooo, the kind Aids wey dey d streets right about now u go shock, let me tell you a story, A friend of mine passed away recently he had d disease and trust me am not sure the wife knws Wassup,b4 he passed he said he stopped sleeping with her d moment he realised he had d disease n on few occasions he used condoms, long story short it's risky very risky God help you.
ReplyDeleteLeave him abeg...it's his type that catch HIV. Gosh I hate men who lack discipline. In his old age he cannot respect himself. Those of you telling her to pray, I hope you will say the same if a woman is chronically cheating on her husband with different men? Infidelity sucks and no one should have to deal with an unrepentant cheat to "save her marriage". It takes effort on both sides for a marriage to be full of love and happiness like God intended.
ReplyDeleteNne, it happened to me. Hubby's chat with his friend telling him "that girl fuck me as my wife use to" hmmm..i confronted him, he denied it, that is just a dirty chat with his friend. You know what? God knows that i dont trust him anymore. I do what makes me happy. He saw the change in my attitude, came and apologised, even gave me his facebbok password(who cares). Poster, dont let it bother you, request for HIV test ones in a while. Men are something else. No conscience and no remorse.
ReplyDeleteI like you. But its not easy. It hurts like mad. I left my ex cos of cheating. It disgust me
DeleteMadam u sef, your hubby said something to his friend about how u used to fuxk him, maybe you stopped fuvking him the was you used to.
DeleteGod help us women ooo...
ReplyDeletewhy did he make us so vulnerable to men that they feel they can do anyhow they like to us...
why do they make us unhappy...can't they just be faithful...
All these things made me change my thought about marriage especially after meeting only men that cheat...is there no faithful man?...I sincerely doubt...
Poster, all I can tell you is to pray and put it before God...cos you are married already....try talking to him about how it hurts...
To all the cheaters(men), Dont you feel bad when you make your woman sad?
Frankly speaking,i don't think there is anything u can do abt that. It's either u walk away or continue to pray fr him and feign blind eyes towards his promiscuity. Cheating is a thing of the mind and when someone has decided to engage in it,there is little u can do abt it, bcs it's only when he/she agrees to ave a change of mindset that he/she can change if not,there is nothing u can do to salvage it. And it's nt abt what u are doing that's wrong or right. Some people will never cheat no matter how bad it is,while,some will cheat,no matter how good it is. It's entirely a thing of the mind. And When u challenge a cheat, the only result u will get,is that he will change his mode of operation bt continue the operation. He will only be more careful bt won't stop.So The decision is solely yours to make,u either leave or feign blind eyes towards his deeds n continue to pray to God fr a change. Pls don't kill yourself over a full grown man that ave decided to cheat.
ReplyDeleteBabe! Walk away!
ReplyDeleteTake a big walk my frend!
Life is to short to imprison urself wit emotional stress
WALK AWAY
And don't let anyone talk u out of it
It's ur life not someone else'
Someone better will come for you.
Arrrrrgh!
Dis marriage thins sef
Na by false
See I had a serial cheat as a husband, I found out quite late, I found out when I had herpes,had to stop breast feeding my baby that was just 4months old,dint do much,got to know he has been sleeping with prostitutes without protection, the son of a bitch even believe nothing can happen to him,na in the abroad hubby, I dint do much, was waiting for the right avenue to leave, one of his hoe just started problem from abroad, omo se as I take run, fear go hold u...took my kids and left... Treated myself, did loads of test... Tried again after 6mnths, now am free. Very scared to even start a relationship cos I ve to b alive for my kids, so been celibate for over seven month and still counting..... My advise darl, walk away pls, u sounded like some1 that has been faithful, it won't b nice to b home and ve hiv dear.
DeleteA cheater would always cheat
DeleteI don't think he will change o. But just be steadfast in prayers and watch a miracle happen. Why not leave Lagos to "hustle" with him? Or is your pay check too huge? That's the only reason for you to remain in Lagos sha
ReplyDeletePls focus on urself.. my hubby gets furious when i want to touch his fone nd he can check mine nobody complains alrdy hating him if i jst catch him cheat i will jst walk away whoever wants to enter should come and enter lets see how u can deal with cheating..now am all about the money making...hehehehe
ReplyDeleteHigh time you all with the mantra "pray for him" stop this bull shit! Why does a woman have to pray for her cheating husband? Why, please tell me WHY? Ehn! Pray until she gets infected by him right. You all stop that rubbish. If a husband can't accept his wife cheating nor pray for her to change, a woman shouldn't do same. No one has the monopoly of infidelity okay sisters!! Women stop condoing nonsense!! Wise couple keep their home okay. Madam, so sorry...I can only imagine how it hurts, but believe me...follow what you heart and head tells you. Do not follow what anyone says. You wear the shoes and know where it hurt most so please do as you heart says. You deserve happiness not endurance, neither pain.
ReplyDeleteA thousand likes!
Deleteabeg oo aids full taraba oo my sister. please get yourself checked first biko.
ReplyDeleteOlder men cheat too, hmm na wao, just take care of urself demand for condom if he ask for sex
ReplyDeleteHe is not rich, old, and a cheat. What are you doing there? If he were rich I would have said you stay but use condom. Leave that old fool.
ReplyDeleteHe is not rich, old, and a cheat. What are you doing there? If he were rich I would have said you stay but use condom. Leave that old fool. Maybe that was why he married late. He was busy fucking different pussies. An old man who should be worshipping you. Abeg dump his old useless ass.
ReplyDeleteGood question @BLOGLORD. does she wana walk? They won't leave their husbands phones the hell alone yet when they find what they are looking for they will start writing chronicles.
ReplyDeleteDon't divorce him. But don't put yourself and your health at risk.
ReplyDeleteMany Nigerian Men are full of nshi! Yet we wonder why our leaders are not loyal. How will they be when they have been groomed to believe that cheating is no big deal hence the need to cheat in every area of their lives. However, they fail to see that underneath it all they are very UNHAPPY PEOPLE. Tufiakwa! Nsi!
ReplyDeleteBut u knew the kind of man he is before u said yes nah...u made ur bed ma'am...
ReplyDeleteWhenever I read on things platform on marital affairs, it is always women complaining, why? In my little experience of sixteen years in marriage, I discovered that women see wrong signal in relationships but they ignored it . Madam chronicle, you know this man cheats before you gave in. It is either you take it as your cross and move on or you cry to God for mercy for Haven chosen for yourself and ask Him to give your man victory over insatiable lust spirit and uncontrolled sexual libido.
ReplyDelete