Service Year Boulevard 51

Sweet gist Meeeen!

Hello Stella,


I read you blog a lot, even at work. Keep up the good job. Please keep me anonymous. To my story..... Year 2012. It is long and boring but help me manage it.


Dad wanted me to serve in Sokoto oh (Just imagine, people were running from the north and my dad was pushing me there). Mum's sister was living there with her rich husband so accommodation was a sure thing. I was sad at first but started imagining myself living there and enjoying life (Don't know why sha). On the day call-up letters came, was expecting to see Sokoto but nah DELTA I see!!!!! Choi, wetin happen, apparently, the man that was to work it for me wasn't pleased in sending me to Sokoto (God bless his soul as he is late now). Called home to inform them and we all accepted fate.


On the day to leave for camp, left home around 5 a.m to catch a bus to Delta and dad noticed a babe carrying a small bag like mine and asked if she was going to camp too. Babe said yes and popsy paid for her seat and made us sit together behind the driver (Father's love). As I didn't know how to make a conversation with someone I just met was no talking between us and I felt she looked way older than me and I didn't want to be disrespectful in any way. Got to camp and the whole 'carry your bag on your head and run' happened. We were allowed to get bed space before registration.

 Jenifer (Babe's name) and I got a nice space but not bunk mates as we both wanted to be down. We couldn't do any registration that evening and had to wake up early in the morning (4 a.m because people no dey sleep for our room) to get ready. Registration was horrible, people cutting the line, line getting scattered then restructured again... I sha finished all that day (Book of life was filled after a week.. couldn't kill myself).


Delta camp was just somehow.. No water, no light. they had to bring water tanker every morning and my buckets kept on missing until I received sense and started taking people's bucket too. Some girls can wash for Africa.. Kilode.... I had a laundry boy that came every evening. We had to be bathing on the corider because there was no bathroom only pit latrines (carried nylon for shot put.. lol). I only ate food from the kitchen on Sundays because it was bread buns with boiled egg. Every other day nah mammy market. Jenifer and I later separated as she became friends with hotter babes( all for the best as we were both dulling). I wasn't so active in my platoon (6 Platoon!!!!!!!) but helped served food whenever we were on duty in camp.

 I participated in marching and was picked out to be Assistant Commander (I went to a military school so e dey my blood). I hated lectures and couldn't sleep because if caught, nah embarrassing punishment person go chop so had to sit with friends and gist. That was how one babe that claimed to have schooled in the 'abroad' said anything she goes clubbing and it was late to go home, she and her friend would lodge in a hotel worth 40k per night in seperate rooms. We were all nodding but I knew I wasn't the only one doubting.


I met cute guys oh... Chai but had to run because I was forming faithful girlfriend to Ex that was doing a 6 year programme (I did 5). I had to leave mammy once its 8 p.m to avoid 'lets hangout after light off' with guys. I will not lie sha, I had a particular guy I was always with so people would think we had something and free me but e no work. The guy liked me but I just wasn't interested. I carry my Ex for head those days oh... I didn't attend any social event because it was the only time the hostel will be almost empty so sleep sure pass before dem talkatives come back.. My legs ached badly due to frog jump those soilders gave as punishment for no reason. 

That was how HIV testing was done in camp oh, I did and one babe was so scared I had to comfort her. She wasn't sure as she had been doing without protection. Nah so me self start to think of all those days hairdresser chuk me needle when doing my hair due to what the counselor was saying. The test came back negative for us both and she was so happy.. Never saw her again. Naso they announce for parade the next day say 3 people out of the 400+ that did the test were confirmed postive.. Parade scatter... For my mind I just they laugh all those people were do sexually things for corner for night... I later heard the amount of condoms found littered every morning increased.


PPA posting came and I got a private Fish farm owned by a former State govenor.. That was the last day I saw my camp boyfriend as I didn't have plans on seeing him again. Luckily for me I found a guy that was posted to Igbide Isoko south with me... With all the stories I heard about Church family houses, No thank you..I must reach my PPA before dark. After spending a lot of money we reach there for night and the corpers there were great.... Hot delicious Indomie and egg was prepared. The owner wasn't around so had to wait for 3 days to be accepted.

I had a room to myself. there was water and light and plenty fish (I don't like fish), I had to learn to drink yellow garri (nah condition cause am). The people in that community were nice but they liked money die.. Even small children could kill for money so they could buy Alcohol. One faithful General CDS day(due to my PPA Boss influence, we only had to attend general CDS... That is after packaging fish for the LIs), I got stained and had to rush back to my village and I was thinking of how embarrassing it would be to stain someone's bike when one fine man in his company's vehicle stopped and asked where I was going. I told him my situation and he insisted I entered. 

He took my home and helped clean his car. He came to visit on Saturday and gave me a carton of Indomie (Honeywell) and that was how everybody in the community came to beg for indomie until it finished. Dude was ready to give more but I didn't collect before I become 'aunty indomie'. he took me to Warri and showedd me around. It was really fun but dude wanted a relationship so I had to cut him off.... My Ex came to visit once and I so flaunted him (he was so fine).


The major means of transport was Okada and it was expensive.... It got to a time even corpers started riding Okada and one had the guts to ask if he could come pick me up so we could go out... It was a nice experience in Igbide, I learnt how to rear fish and practiced my poultry rearing as an Agriculturalist. I also learnt never to drink 'Monkeytail' due to a colleague's experience (he was shouting lion and running up and down).



My PPA Boss did a sent forth for me and gave me money for being a good girl compared to other corpers that were troublesome(In his words). The day after POP I went back to Lagos after 10 months.

Chaiiiiii..babe you get PHD for gisting oooooh.I enjoyed your gist welllll.

Send part two abeg..LMAO!