My Divorce Story -5

Sometimes looking back sometimes help find closure...

Hello Stella. May God keep greasing your elbows for us, your blog rocks. Stella, my divorce story is a very long one, my childhood(in a domestic violence filled home) and the events that led to my marriage and break up was detailed in Chronicles on this link - www.stelladimokokorkus.com/2015/12/chronicle-of-blog-visitor-narrative_20.html?m=1.

This divorce story is more like an update of events that followed my moving out.

In summary, for the benefit of those that would not have the time to click on the link above and read. I married my friend and helper whose tribe is different from mine, he took care of me through my remaining days in school as I lost my parents, he became my mum and dad. My family objected the marriage because my dad especially had a special hatred for that tribe when he was alive. Only one of my uncles supported us and we married. We had a son in the following year. 

Then, he had problems at work and he was sacked, all the company's properties in our possession were seized and I became the bread winner. Unfortunately this man fell into depression, he was frustrated as another job did not locate him. However, he did not allow me to be the bread winner in peace and the argument soon degenerated into fights, I became an emotional wreck which affected my job and subsequently led to my sack. I couldn't leave as I had no one to turn to, I was an orphan, the only man, an uncle who supported my marriage had died too leaving his two children who were too young to confront my ex. His family too tried, but the man would not change.

Well, I gathered my little savings and opened a restaurant. Planning to leave when the business stands. In one of his 'skoin skoin' moments, he went in the night and set fire on my restaurant, seized my certificates and swore to render me useless.

I left him and went to stay with one of my cousins whose late dad was in good terms with me, I was a complete shadow of myself.

Well, as expected he came crying and begging, he did this for weeks and his relatives also joined promising me that his joblessness caused the beatings and that he had secured another job. That was the summary of the story in the chronicles.

I later decided to do my investigation and probably give him another chance as many Bvs advised but discovered that he was still jobless and lives off women. I begged and settled with my remaining relatives, they returned his dowry and I moved on with my life without any certificate and financial capability to go to my former school and get them back.

I did all kinds of jobs to make ends meet and take care of my son.

Today, I have a small business by the roadside which feeds us courtesy of Angel California gold who gave out 30k each to 3 women few months ago on this blog.

 My son who will be five this year have not been to school since the break up. I couldn't afford it but with this business, I'm planning on getting an accommodation of my own, return my son to school and live my life by God's grace this year.

Do I regret marrying him? yes I do but then, the mess strengthened me, it made me learn to stand on my own. I had thought I would not be able to survive without him, he was my only close family, my best friend. All the same, I thank God for the journey so far. It can only get better.

Lessons learnt;

1 Never allow a man to take up your responsibilities giving him hope that you will marry him. I felt I owed him marriage after helping me to round up my schooling and caring for me even though I loved him. But with my family's objection, had he not spent on me, maybe I wouldn't have married him.

2 Obey your family when it comes to marriage partner. They see what we cannot see. Make sure they endorse your union and be in good terms with them.

3 Save, I repeat Save and have your own money while married no matter how caring and loving your spouse is.

4 When you decide to leave him, go far away from him and establish yourself, don't stay near him and don't remain in his house and be doing your business. I established the business and planned to leave when it stands but he destroyed it in one of his 'skoin skoin' moments.

5 Lastly, be determined to stand on your own and make things work for you if your marriage fails. Shame your ex with your success. That is what I'm determined to do.

This is my story and thanks for reading it.
Enjoy your day.

Thank you for sharing your story.