Can you tell us what went wrong and the part you played in crashing the Union.we also want to know if you regret it and still want the ex back or if it was good riddance to bad rubbish....
Do you wish there was something you did differently? Was it your fault or theirs or external pressure?
The intent of this is that someone might be about to take the step you took and if we can learn from yours,would be great....
There are too many married people breaking up and we need to understand what happens.
Post in the comment section or send me your story for a stand alone post to be titled MY DIVORCE STORY....
Hopefully this should work out and if not...this will be the first and last post.
I don't like this segment
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
Sending you the story will be more like it
Delete@ Larry, as much as u don't like it
DeleteIt's d bitter truth
Biko, those that are divorced kindly post abeg, let's we singles learn
I seriously doubt this segment is sustainable, 80% of the comments are from popcorn eating bvs. Lol, in as much as it would make a whole lot a sense to read experiences, half wud be fabricated and the other half seasoned with knoww cubes.. Hence misleading those taking notes.
DeleteThis segment is DOA
I think the post will be informative and enlighten,we realy need to learn from divorce story so we wont make mistakes when married.
ReplyDelete#I stand with divorce story post#
Hmmmm. God, give me grace. Help my thoughts.
ReplyDeleteAmen!!!
Deletestella I don't think we need this segment. We already have many aunty gwegz on this blog abeg we don't want another set joining. And no mata how many divorce chronicles they sent in it won't stop me from getting married o, y won't their marriage scatter when they will be busying forming feminist.
ReplyDeleteSays a naive 19 year old.....swerve jor
Delete*no matter how many divorce chronicles they 'sent' in?
DeleteAnd u r a student ni?
Hian!!!
Madam, the divorce chronicles is for u to learn and not a yardstick to use in measuring ur choice about getting married or not.
See this child running her mouth through her fingers!! Pray for a happy home.You are busy calling someone Gwegs.Aren't you silly?
DeleteOlodo rabotta!!! Listen to your backward thinking...
DeleteClearly u don't understand English, the point is not to discourage people but to prepare for this reality. My dear sometimes even love is not enough to keep a marriage its sad though!
DeleteOde!
DeleteShut up there, what does feminism have to do with this
DeleteNa small piking dey worry am. Learn from divorce chronicles so you won't end up same. And stop calling older ladies Gwegz. Respect your elders😂😁
DeleteCommon Shut up there! What do you know about feminism
DeleteLook at this dirty bonario pig. What do you know about life? You are probably from a disfunctional polygamous home because that's the stock in trade of your people. Oh! I forgot you are a moron, you won't understand my English. Read what you wrote and all your previous comments, You are a shame to your school, go back to kindergaten. Olodo rabata. Dirty pig.
DeleteAnd oh, you have removed your dirty picture with dirty curtains, old school carpet a small 1960 black and white TV in the background. Poor beggar. You are supposed to be praying to God to remove poverty from your lineage before praying for marriage.
DeleteYou think they set out to divorce? You are naive. Got and read your books, run along now!
DeleteYou are not married and you calling ppl Gwegs. 😆😆😆😆😆😆the cane kept for the senior wife is waiting for the young wife. Fate and destiny is real.
DeleteLove love this segment!! We need it to learn!!
DeleteHian!..
DeleteNa only one person get all these attacks?...
Her opinion mehn!...
These stupid insufferable ingrates! They are privileged to go to school, move around freely, given the suffrage and they still insult feminsist. God help you get over your self-hate.
DeleteDamn! This has to be in the top3 most bashed replies
DeleteDon't have d strength to type now,let me read comments I can learn one or two lessons.
ReplyDeletePls oh, let's try to be as truthful as possible. And speak for both urself and ur ex spouse. Thank u
ReplyDeleteIs that really possible?
DeleteWe don't get to hear from both parties
Lemme read comments and learn
ReplyDeleteYaaaaayy!..
ReplyDeleteI like this segment!...
You guys should bring it on!..
Divorce is SO SCARY. I pray to God that the person I decide to marry, I will always be happy & absolutely in love with her for the rest of my life amen
ReplyDeleteYimu
DeleteO di egwu!! Not possible.Yoh can't always be happy in marriage.Just pray that the tough times are not so bad as to lead to a divorce.
DeleteToo bad it doesn't work that way.
DeleteMake e no work abeg.
ReplyDeleteI know this will leave a sour taste in my mouth..
ReplyDeleteThis post is gonna reek of lies, both from the male and female..even those that destroyed their homes by themselves will also have a story to tell..
And yes, I know I have a choice to either read or waka pass..
Dum Spiro spero.
👍exactly
DeleteOne sided stories r lies.
DeleteYou are right
DeleteOya oo make una send in shomtyn. God bless u as u share.
ReplyDeleteI want to believe that couples divorce when there is no more Love!
ReplyDeleteLove sha. Love is always the quickest to go when ungodly people go into marriage because at the slightest challenge, they turn! Marry God-fearing people who have respect for humanity and who are actually econonically, mentally and physically able to weather the storm.
DeleteOver to the divorcee....
ReplyDeleteWaiting to hear and learn
ReplyDeleteI'll read comments.
ReplyDeleteGod Bless Everyone.
May God heal all the broken hearted.
ReplyDeleteAm here to read and learn,I can't fit shout joor,I want a sweet home when I get marry
Waiting for da comments like :~)
ReplyDeleteStella d boss you no dey lack concept...OMAA
ReplyDelete
ReplyDeleteThumbs up Stella!
Pretty educative and well thought out segment.
Love & Light
FIFIE
Got divorced at the age of 27 with 3kids. All of dem kids I got thru rape. He'd ask 4 sex, and wen I refuse, he'd rapped me. And den, d beatings will follow. At a time, he'd lock me inside for days, fucking me like I'm a prostitute. Even when I'm sore, he'd still fuck me. I ran to my parents, they took me back. I cried to the heavens, they abadoned me. The last time he beat me, poured pepper into my vagina that was the day I looked back, packed my things, took my kids, and left for good. It's Been 6years now, my kids are grown up and I'm married to them. As for d beast, heard d new wife he married, pushed him down the stairs. He broke his waist and is on the wheel chair as I type this. Karma is a bitch!!!
ReplyDeleteKarma is indeed a bitch... he got what he deserved. God don't play.
DeleteChai.
DeleteAnon 13.46. I don't believe your story. He poured pepper in your vjayjay and you just sat while he did that?? Stella this post will bring out the creative side of PATHOLOGICAL LIARS. Na siddon look i dey.
DeleteGod forgive me o, but I'm so happy about your ex predicament
Delete*Larry was here*
Ouch!!!
DeleteWhat offense did u commit? He's a rapist and all, yeah, we hear u but did u play ur part?
It's just a simple question pls
Serves him right
DeleteEndtime horseband
Thank God you survived dear
Wow,talk about Karma!Look at God! You are still young,take your time and train your kids.Ypu can remarry if you want,but be very careful this time please.Goodluck.
Delete"Poured pepper into your vagina" 😱😱😱👎
DeleteThis gave me goose bumps.
DeleteWhy would you refuse your husband sex, if u know u don't like sex, why did u marry,am out.
DeleteI feel bad for you, hope find healing and peace.As of the Bastard, I love what happened to him.
DeleteWow! You didn't mention anything you did wrong, though I sympathise with you.
DeleteServe him right!
DeleteHmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm
DeleteI don't know how it all started but thank God u got ur sanity back
As someone who experienved dv in all ways (verbal, physical, emotional) most times I dont hv to do anything wrong. Some men/women are just bitter, mostly due to rhe experience theu had growing up. They gtow up sad and angry and take it out on the person close to them, wife/husband/kids/sibling etc. They are the type that end up killing, they are so full of hate. She didnt need to do anything wrong for him to do that to her.
DeleteFreddy and angel ray, pray u don't come across such useless spouse in ur life. My parents knew he was abusing me. They knew what he was doing to me. But they did nothing all because he was giving them money. I was the only girl child and my parents were ready to sacrifice me on the table of greed. They saw a rich and prospective inlaw in him, so they pushed me over. I was just 19 wen they sold me to him. I was took young and naive. Let me tell u, I had no honey moon. As a matter of fact, he rapped me silly the night we got married. I was still a virgin when I married him and such expected him to be patient with me while I loosen up. But u know what, he thrust into me without minding d pains I was going tru. I cried, I bled. Even while I was bleeding he still slept with me for seven days straight. In fact, he treated me like a slave. I wasn't happy. I thought I had wronged him. I begged, I pleaded with him to forgive me if I had wronged him. But no, he'd push to d ground and tell me 'ure my wife, anything I do to u, is for ur good'. Remembering all these things brought tears to my eyes. The day he poured pepper into my vagina, he practically tied my hands to the bed. Beat me, Raped me and poured pepper into my vagina. I died and woke up that day. His reasons "that I reported him to my parents"
Deletemy friend's uncle and his wife once rubbed pepper in my friend's vijayjay cos she was seeing a man at the age of 18 so take not you anonymous up there.
DeleteYou don't have to do wrong to suffer abuse. A violent man does not see his wife as a equal being. He is too controlling and believes that as the man he has become your demi-God because he's your husband. They hate it when you have a mind of your own and expect you to always say yes to them or else he will beat you black & blue. I'm not divorced o (God-Forbid) but I have seen DV on display while growing up
DeleteMadam, words can't describe what you went through. As a victim of dv at the hands of a crazy bf I can almost relate with what you went through. Those of you asking what she did to spark such treatment, pray that you never meet such people. Your mere protest at the abuse, or resistance or attempt to get free of it triggers more beatings. Thanks for sharing MA. May those with ears hear and learn and may you find peace of mind and release of your pent up emotions. God bless
DeleteMadam, words can't describe what you went through. As a victim of dv at the hands of a crazy bf I can almost relate with what you went through. Those of you asking what she did to spark such treatment, pray that you never meet such people. Your mere protest at the abuse, or resistance or attempt to get free of it triggers more beatings. Thanks for sharing MA. May those with ears hear and learn and may you find peace of mind and release of your pent up emotions. God bless
DeleteGot divorced at the age of 27 with 3kids. All of dem kids I got thru rape. He'd ask 4 sex, and wen I refuse, he'd rapped me. And den, d beatings will follow. At a time, he'd lock me inside for days, fucking me like I'm a prostitute. Even when I'm sore, he'd still fuck me. I ran to my parents, they took me back. I cried to the heavens, they abadoned me. The last time he beat me, poured pepper into my vagina that was the day I looked back, packed my things, took my kids, and left for good. It's Been 6years now, my kids are grown up and I'm married to them. As for d beast, heard d new wife he married, pushed him down the stairs. He broke his waist and is on the wheel chair as I type this. Karma is a bitch!!!
ReplyDeleteSo, u didn't see the beast in him before u took his ring and you also didn't do anytin to unleash that beast?
DeleteHe got served. No mercy or pity for the wicked..
DeleteHe deserved what he got..
As I read your story,am so glad you made it out alife from the beast of a horseband cos I can't deal if he even slap me and no regrets atall
DeleteStick with your children and give them better training esp.if you have boys ok
All the best.
For real? Serves him right. Maybe he has mental illness.
DeletePls look back at the mistakes you made and correct them in your next marriage.
DeleteI hope you both learn to forgive yourselves also, it's very important.
Wow!...
DeleteDo not call her a pier,some things are better imagined than experienced, some men are beast in human form,my only offence was DAT I hated sex ,I attend too much vigils,by the time I would wake up,he is already gone,instead of being patient with me and teach me how to be his whore in bed. And yes a wife can be raped!
DeleteKarma really is a bitch but I advise you cleanse your mind of wishing him or anyone ill and see how fast gives you recompense. It may be hard but it will be better for you. You may not be able to pray for him but try not to curse him as well. Karma already will take care of that. Don't let him drag you with him.
DeleteWaiting to read comments..stella borrow me ur couch biko
ReplyDeleteNice.
ReplyDelete#A person who falls and gets back up is much stronger than the person who never fell*
ReplyDeleteHmm
DeleteDarl mi
DeleteThanks stella, I have been meaning to ask you to post this. I really want to hear from those divorced young mums if they are having regrets in their decision to flee unhappiness and seek life of their own.
ReplyDeleteInitially they do, especially when there is too much struggle and lack of the needy. With time most are glad they did.
DeleteOK. By
DeleteBesides how people treat them like lepers, they do alright. Many of them just have to grow thick skin. What's important is making sure they are able to take care of themselves and their kids. Time truly heals and hopefully, they find love again. This time, true love that lasts forever.
DeletePlease only an ignorant person will say divorcées are treated like lepers.
DeleteWhere is my pop corn and coke
ReplyDeleteDis section no make sense ..divorce stories .
ReplyDeleteHe go make sense. .others can read and then learn to avoid such.
DeleteOthers will learn from others mistakes and errors and avoid them.kudos to SDK. Queen of bloggers.
Delete@ my divorce story.i met this guy from rivstt,we didnt date for long and we got married.i really wanted a child to kind of seal the union it wasnt forth coming,2years after,we had a child,he was a loving guy that took care of the kid,bathed her,fed her etc.all of a sudden the union started having cracks and i saw myself wanting to always fight him,wed fight and settle what i was fighting for I really didn't understand,we went to the church and was told it was a spritual husband,we did some cleansing.but it didnt get any better and then my husband cheated on me,i forgave but didnt forget as such we could have sex for @ least once in four months and i didnt care,I stopped cooking his meal.as a form of punishment i had the maid prepare the meal.we were practically leaving apart.families did meeting,but it wasnt working.it continued for 3years.and one day he came and told me he was tired of the union and i told him me too.i didn't know what came over me.later on i found out he had met a younger girl that was 17years his junior,and12 years my junior.he served me the divorce paper and i listened to my friends and threatened him that since he doesn't want me he wont have our child.i listened to my friends and packed out of the house while he was @ work.packed all the properties and ran away with our child.i regret that action every single day.we are divorced and his now married.
ReplyDelete1.i should've tried to create memories in our marriage,since we didn't court for long(so when we quarrel there wouldv been things i would have reminisced and we would have laughed it off.
2.i wish i had just forgiven him whole heartedly and made my marriage the best.
3.i should have made love making a pirority and not a one off thing.cos it would have strengthed our bond.God wey arrange am know wetin em dey do
3.i shouldn't have stopped cooking his meals.i really shouldnt have.
4.i shouldn't have listened to my friends that told me to pack his properties and runaway.i would have ignored them all
5.i shouldnt have fought with him on a daily over everything cos that drove him out to cool his head and he fell in the arms of another woman.
God bless you for stating your mistakes and also acknowledging them, I pray you both forgive yourselves, and I also pray your second marriage will be better than the first.
DeleteThe church you went to didn't handle your spiritual husband well!..
DeleteGo to SCOAN and have a proper deliverance so you can meet someone else!..
Oh dear!its well with you
DeleteI have learnt a lot from your story. O lord help me to be gentle and peaceful and patient. So I can build my home.
DeleteWow!!! Regrets.Shoul have, would have,could have...Like my boo would always tell me.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteWow- i like your honesty @ anon 13:58
DeleteThanks poster I have learnt alot from your story.
DeleteI like the fact that you never blamed him once. May God give a you a. Second chance to happiness ehugs to You.
DeleteWow! Stella that up there is the reason why this section of divorce chronicles should stay. May the Lord heal you.
DeleteWow... I learnt alot from your story.. God bless you.
DeleteIf its truely a woman that typed this ,the God bless you dear for this story. Sometimes we capitalize on a little mistake from our spouse and use it against them. The only reason I will leave my spouse is if there is life threatening abuse that cannot be compromised.cos loneliness na bastard
DeleteI was also advised to pack everything and leave him hanging but my conscience wouldn't let me do that ,plus I fear God,but he helpd me do that by striping me off everything we ever worked for together and am back to the beginning, but I have forgiven myself for all d mistakes, d vigils was too much,in my case I made his food but I was never there to watch him eat till he stopped coming home,I was going from mountain to mountain becos of children forgeting that I have to sleep with my husband to have a child,by the time I would open up DAT d sex was painful and was advised by a sis to by pre seed,he was long gone,came back from a particular vigil n say d TV in d master bedroom removed some of his clothes n shoes gone,just sat down on d floor and wept,that was d beginning of truth,looking back,I just say may be it was never mearnt to be. Cos I prayed and fasted for my marriage to work but God wasn't listening or he has something better. Pls we should all endeavor as women to always look good never compare or use any parish mummy as ur example, I stopped wearing earings ,trousers bcos I was emulating mummy s marriage of 17years,I could remember my husband once asked me one time before d incidence why I started dressing like mummy go when he is not a pastor yet,I laughed DAT day not knowing he mearnt wat he said.in all short courtship has so many disadvantages, ladies take ur time to study n court d guy before saying I do.here I am less Dan 3months courtship 6years of waste.
DeleteI don't know many women who are divorced who didn't fight very hard to keep their marriage. When society really wants marriages to last forever, it needs to educate the men. Many men are the major cause of their divorce, will not even make efforts to save their marriage just so they can move on to the next woman already. Men need to be thought empathy, responsibility and loyalty.
DeleteAnon 21:25, may God comfort you and give you happiness. Good you realise your mistakes but don't you think if he wanted to stay married to you, he would have done more? It takes two to tango. What is yours will always be yours. You will be blessed.
Deletei like the idea.
ReplyDeleteIt is well.
ReplyDeleteBring this segment on pls
ReplyDeleteStella,Pls bring this segment
ReplyDeleteMy ex was way older than me, so I respected him a lot. We had 3 kids together.
ReplyDeleteThings were going on well until the GO of a popular church that is known for their die by fire chants, a church that teaches it's members to focus on wiping their enemies off the face of the earth than having a forgiving spirit.
The GO told him that every woman in his life including his ex-wives were sent to wreck his life as agents.
I told my ex that no problem, I agreed that am an agent(which I'm not) but is your GO not supposed to help me cast out that demon?
I told him that help me to tell the GO to cast out that demon rather than telling you not to have anything to do with me. I begged,begged, begged and begged all because of the children and because even though I was educated up to the master level, I was jobless.
I was a housewife, taking care of the children. I'm even crying writing this. He eventually listened to his GO.
Maybe I will try and send the story to Stella.
As women, we experience lots of biases, hardship, helplessness, I just laughed and shake my head when I see blog members fighting over irrelevant things. Though thank you all for the entertainment.
Life itself is war. Circumstances that occur, making me gnash my teeth in regrets and sorrows.
The why message? The but I have been praying about marriage since I was a teenager.
It's a long story
Where you the first wife? If you weren't, you are not even married sef
DeleteAnon. That's too harsh. Habamana!
DeleteAnon 16:24 you are so insensitive. You didnt have to comment if you didnt have anything productive to say
DeleteI wonder oh. She refused to blame the guy she's blaming the G.O.
DeleteI attend that church and I have never heard them call anybody 's name to die by fire.
"Any power troubling my destiny, any power assigned to kill me" etc.
Is back to sender a sin?
Those aren't physical enemies.we are talking spiritual warfare here.
You didn't read that Michael and the archangels defeated Satan in Revelation 12.11.
There was WAR.
Am I supposed to allow them kill me?Do you know how many lives have been wasted by wicked people?
I looked for job for years because thieves were always coming to rob me in dreams, armed robbers even,and every job I got did not materialise after I have been told to resume. Dreams of people I know beating me in the sleep, mysterious sicknesses, one day i went for a program and a snake came to my room. We live upstairs oh. Have black birds ever flown down and attached you physically, making horrible noises as they did so. I was coming from a program two times it happened.
Better don't say what you don't know. That is the church where I learnt to love and to forgive people,and not be a hypocrite.
@anonymous 19;32...thank you jare. I am a PROUD member of the church too and have never heard such teachings b4. The lady hasn't said what her problem really is.
DeleteMore drama, call outs, insults, dirty lines and possible fresh divorces loading
ReplyDeleteNo one sided stories oooo.
ReplyDeleteDon't sugar coat it .
Pls send ur stories to stella so we can learn.
ReplyDeleteTell us the real truth and not the fake truth please. Don't be partial and one-sided.
Tell us your fault and ur spouse's fault.
Just make sure if you're posting your divorce story, you're posting nothing but the absolute truth, no one sided tale to garner sympathy as there are two sides to a story. There are singles on this blog, they don't need to be discouraged.
ReplyDeleteMine is pending because he keeps reminding me that he pitied me into marriage, he goes on to say how good I am in the "other room" and that is it...
ReplyDeletei can take any form of abuse but for another human being to undermine me as a fellow human being no way... yes i am vertically and horizontally challenged, but I have no low self esteem and am the bigger person sometimes in an argument to silently pray for who ever curses me.
It's only a matter of time now...but lessons learnt would not put me off trusting people again.
I just married someone with a short memory and trust issues basically borne out of an abusive polygamous background.
I hold no hatred in my mind, i will leave with my head high and a prayer for God to find him his unique spec (how he describes women and oh all women are prostitutes except his mom).
Stella my situation is so, he calls me mumu/special autistic.
I believe the stress in maintaining a family abound but not to emotionally dehumanize the other party.
I believe in serious prayers, financial contribution and good communication
Whether the issues are she is ugly, dirty, no income, not enterprising,lazy...etc no human dignity should be slaughtered on the altar of stress.
God bless us all. please remember not every one will be like you...please don't curse your partner in front of the kids. no body knows it all. Anon love
This is so sad, oga ooh
DeleteAbusive men don't change. This one will die like that. Women, please do not ignore or overlook the signs of abuse while dating unless you are prepared to live with it for the rest of your life. Yes, men like that are mentally disturbed and pass on their frustrations to those close to them. Many of them are angels to outsiders but their spouse whom they believe they own get all the abuse. They see nothing good in you, criticize everything you do, blame you for everything that goes wrong in their lives. Every little challenge in their life is their wife's fault. Please take a stand. You deserve better.
DeleteWow!!����rape u? Pepper in ur vjay by the man u married��? Pls did u guys date? Didn't u see the signs? Did he propose? Please send a stand alone narrative to Stella biko....because i am not understanding
ReplyDeleteVery possible. My uncle did it to my male cousin living with him back in the 90's. Back then I thought he deserved it because the boy was a community penis and he was messing up with young girls when they still lived in orile. Now that I think of it, its actually a barbaric act
Deleteoya.share yo stories..
ReplyDeleteReading mode activated
ReplyDelete*grabs popcorn*
Leave matter..It makes sense ooo
ReplyDeleteI married traditionally @ the age of 24 and the white wedding didn't pull through cos we parted.
I will give the full gist latter but I just want to add that
I DON'T REGRET MOVING ON, AT THAT TIME I HADN'T REALLY DISCOVERED MYSELF. I WAS TOO NAIVE BUT FEW YEARS DOWN THE LINE, I HAVE EVOLVED AND THANK GOD I TOOK A WALK COS I WOULD HAVE LIVED IN REGRET FOR EVER.
ON A GOOD NOTE,FEW MONTHS BACK, I GOT TALK ING WITH MY UNIVERSITY EX AND BY GOD I PRAY IT GETS BETTER.
HELP ME SAY A PRAYER TO GOD THAT WE PULL THROUGH COS HE IS ALL I NEED IN A MAN..
From your mouth to God's ears.
DeletePeople saying this doesn't make sense simply don't understand that life isn't always about happy times,erotic stories,making good choices and happily ever after.
ReplyDeletePeople who get divorced usually don't go into the union with intentions to leave. You need not read this segment but please don't say it isn't necessary.Some people might need to tell their stories so they can heal, some will tell their stories so others wont make the mistakes they made, some will tell their stories and reconciliation may follow. If there are no divorce stories then the segment will not continue as Stella said.
Exactly!...
DeleteIt's a welcome idea. Though we don't pray for or encourage divorce, we clearly believe there are lots of lessons to be learned.
ReplyDeleteThe woman/man who ruined her/his home and isn't ashamed to admit and teachers others...
The one who consoled or enabled or didn't recognize abuse for what it was...
The one made a pretty good life after divorce would help rid the fear of the unknown for those who are stuck right now in a moment of weakness and indecision...
The one who later found true love...
They all can even begin to connect through this forum for strength and friendship.
Too many typos I just noticed, was typing while working.
Delete#teach others#
#condoled#
.Everyone is entitled to their opinion pls forgive my errors but my story is about my parents.After the death of my mums'Parents, she was stayed with her aunt who maltreated her and because of that she ran away.Got married at the age of 16 to my father.she saw hell from her MIL, SIL/BIL.That wasnt all my dad would leave the house without providing for her and the children (i wasnt born then shaaa).That wasnt all, he went ahead to marry two other women his second name is 'GO YE INTO THE WORLD AND MULTIPLY'after my birth things became rough for her training 9 children wasnt easy some of my siblings had to do menial jobs to pay their fees.Thank God everyone is grown and married now apart from me but very soon but i am still scared because of my mums'experience. I am not biased but my mum even though she is a woman with her plenty talk ,she is the most peaceful woman i know and i think my father was running away from his responsibilities, but making silly mistakes.After 23 of abandoning her now he wants her back.the truth is my mum discovered dat she is betteroff without him. my brother s have tried to bring dem together she refused.she didnt get complete education she has tried as a woman.Dear women know what you want in a man,life is not a bed of roses (even me dat is talking here i am scared of getting married.)😚😚
ReplyDeleteTake a leap of faith. Just because your mum wasn't so lucky in love doesn't mean you won't too. Just learn from her mistakes and make better choices. I pray you get your heart desire.
DeleteStella please take down this segment.
ReplyDeleteBecause fake stories and stories seeking public sympathy will definitely emerge and this will erode our sense of judgment and intervention where necessary.
Na your blog sha...my opinion may not count just like my vote doesnt count during naija elections.
This segment is actually one of the best, y'all saying take it down don't know Jack. Stella please for the sake of the young ones unmarried/married let's have this segment so we can learn from it. I'm one of those that is scared of marriage, but reading a few stories here today I have learned something. ✌
DeleteThis your particular opinion should not count.#deadOnArrival
DeleteI got married at 23 got divorced at 27. Had two lovely kids. My ex lied to me about everything. From his birthday to his educational qualification, to his relations. I didn't marry from my tribe because my people though rich but they are mostly traders. I was looking for class, finesse and went into the wrong hands. This man hired people and provided a vehicle to bring them to our wedding. Even gave them money to spray us. It was after marriage that i discovered his real relations were fishermen living in fishing ports. I never got to meet any of them before i left. He would bring girls into our matrimonial home. Will tell me the girls were his cousins. They will be speaking their language while i cook and served them. We were in a two bedroom apartment and since there was a television in our room i was in the room most of the time. It is the same man that will eventually confess that devil had been using him, the girl is his girlfriend, i should forgive, bla bla bla.
ReplyDeleteHe will leave the home and wouldn't come back for days on end. He is not on business trip but with women. The story when told in detail is quite an interesting one. He beat me up with a 6mth pregnancy bcos i wanted to know where he had gone. He lied about being a graduate. That was one lie too many. It dawned on me i married a complete efulefu. He lost his job and wasn't even willing to do menial jobs. I went to the church where we wedded (catholic church) and the priest counseled me that divorcee is not a good name to have. Rather i should stay in the marriage that he the Priest will provide emotional succor to me. I am bringing this in because this is same way we treat divorce or divorcees. It's not a good name, endure, bla bla bla. So we have some people committing adultery rather than making a clean break, we have people losing their lives to abusive spouses because of domestic violence. Reading through most of the comments against divorce chronicles i see the same hypocrisy running through.Divorce happens and will continue to happen chronicles or not. Several years later i am in my second marriage. I got married to a man that has no child neither had he been married before. God has fully compensated me for the abuse i endured.
Inukwa!!! Priest is offering emotional succor?! Tufiakwa
DeleteAwwwww...HML poster.
DeleteYou left our correct Igbo brothers and went for a man from that part of the country...
DeleteSo you think the demon they call them are for fancy?...
I'm happy you are now free!...
He was so gentle,loved me like crzy,but he sleeps with anything, even if it a door putting on a skirt... Was legally married to him, he inpregnated another and was scared when I find out I might poison him, so he brought his father into the issue,the man made my life a living hell, dint know until the kids outside were 6&4yrs old, I was attacked by the woman with goitre, was throwing up blood, her mum runs a c&s church,was taken to my parents when I refused to leave, I actually dint know he had another family he rented an apartment for in festac, got separated, had bipolar2, couldn't take care of my son,my little boy was moved to ireland,I would wet the bed unconciously, won't get up when feeling the urge to urinate until am too pressed,my mum would invite neighbours to mock me, until her friend came to visit from the US and had similar experience when she was younger, she helped me thru it all...this happened 8yrs ago, my little boy will b 12yrs, let just stop here, weldone stellaaa in baba Obj's voice...don't want to remember, cos I ve headache with the little I ve typed.
ReplyDeleteChei!!!
DeleteSee what women have passed through and are still passing through o...
Anon,I don't believe this your story...
DeleteAre you sure you didn't snatch this man from his wife?...
Say the truth oh!...
I wish you guys will stop saying you don't believe peoples story! Are you paying her to speak? It's this kind of attitude that makes women not speak up against dv and rape! Let's think b4 we type please.
DeleteHmmmm
ReplyDeleteAnon 13.58 I'm so sorry about your experience.
ReplyDeleteWomen be very careful in marriage who you share your marital woes with. The best bet is your mother(if u have a good one, like mine). she wants the best for you and can see things from a clearer perspective through age and experience.
infidelity, lets face facts here, we all have experienced this while dating or marriage. If you can forgive and your husband is a good man and apologized, kindly forgive. You go to the next man, you still experience such things.
Choose ur battles with your spouse. Try to respect him best you can and don't unnecessarily run your mouth. Not because you are a fool, but there are other ways you can discipline him without resorting to shouting match. Mine is just to keep quiet and ignore you. Silence is the best answer smtimes. If you have a good man he will want to know why u are quiet and keeping to yourself. Most times they come back and apologize.
Marriage is a great learning curve, learn to be wise. Stop listening to friends and blogs that will tell you to show him pepper. When you are alone and by urself, these same people will side-line you like a plague.
Lastly listen to ur mother when it comes to marriage issues, I cant advise that enough. leave friends and what you read on blogs. Some women are taking worse from their men and come here to blab what I don't know.
Some mothers are not fit to advice their daughters, a cousin of mine is about to divorce his wife and part of the problems he had in that marriage was caused by his mother-in-law. She is the head of her own home, you see her looking like her excellency and the husband like her house boy, he doesn't have a say in his own house, she has created discord between the man and his brothers, this is exactly how she wants the daughter to run her own home.
DeleteOhhhh was he warned? of cos, he was warned, when his parents went to inquire about the girls family, they told them this woman is this and that, buh he insisted, she isn't her mother, I won't judge her based on her mother's actions, and she was a virgin, haha, he was marrying a virgin, now he knows better.
The scales have fallen off his eyes, he just discovered he has been a sissy in his own home, wifey and in-law deciding what happens and what shouldn't.
Moral of the story - if you know your dad is not being respected in his own home, he has been reduced to a nonentity by your mum and you want a good marriage, do NOT listen to your mama, there should be someone else you look up to maybe your pastor's wife or so.
1 million likes for your comment
DeleteWhile I agree that some women can be evil spawn but when it comes to women controlling men, it often turns out the men are overeacting. As usual, they think they know it all and if their wife dares have an opinion, she is controlling. I know of a man whose wife tried to help her family financially. The man turned into a psychopath fast. I guess his ego got bruised and he labeled his wife controlling.
DeletePls leave this post, it's very important only the mature ladies and gentlemen will understand. I am not divoiced but not happy with marriage either.
ReplyDeleteStella this post will serve as a maturity test. Comments from BV's will show the level of maturity. Pls let this post stay.
DeleteTrust me when i say there are a lot of us unhappy in our marriages. Stella, this is a wonderful idea
DeleteLet this post stay because a lot of people can learn a thing or two
If i am unhappy in my marriage, should i stay because
1) I don't want to be tagged a divorcee?
2) The kids?
3) Fear of the unknown future?
4) Financial dependence?
5) Nigerian factor (stay and pray for your marriage to work out even when you are dying in silence)
Hmmmm this will be a really painful segment.
ReplyDeleteMay God help all.
Please don't sugar coat your divorce oo. Say it as it is. No blame one party but all
Kudos to you for this segment cos it will be reality in print . Life is not always about the good times... Pls I will encourage everyone who is divorced to try send in their stories. U might be saving a soul without knowing.
ReplyDeleteKudos to you for this segment cos it will be reality in print . Life is not always about the good times... Pls I will encourage everyone who is divorced to try send in their stories. U might be saving a soul without knowing.
ReplyDeleteIts a welcome segment.
ReplyDeleteI don't support this section bc i don't think singles will learn anything from it except been defensive. Anyway i won't be opening the Post let me not spoil show for pple that want it.
ReplyDeleteYeah. Good for you.Don't you know people will learn from others mistakes. Stella I promise you homes will be restored because women and men will look into themselves and amend their behaviours towards each other after reading this stuffs. Those posting stories please be honest. Your faults and your ex faults. Nobody is here to blame you. We are all here to learn. Thanks.
DeleteYeah. Good for you.Don't you know people will learn from others mistakes. Stella I promise you homes will be restored because women and men will look into themselves and amend their behaviours towards each other after reading this stuffs. Those posting stories please be honest. Your faults and your ex faults. Nobody is here to blame you. We are all here to learn. Thanks.
DeleteYour point is valid just as much as those for the post.
Delete"Bcos plane they crash, no mean say we go trek go Russia".
We have so much to learn from this chronicle.
Bonario girl, you think you are young and calling people gwegs right? time flies, be careful, you don't know if you will marry at a gwegs age. By the way, you need to go back to school because you lack understanding.
ReplyDeleteMy story no be here.
ReplyDeleteI walked out cause the emotional abuse became unbearable, the only son at His early 50s can't stand his ground but let his family dictate for him, I left with my kids and was a few months pregnant, I had to safe the lives of my kids and my life as well, cause it became diabolic, I wish we resolved it, I still love him till death, but he won't grow up, he is off to remarry, but I constantly pray for their karma, while I raise my kids not to have the psychological effect of coming from a broken home. God guide me, if there is anything I so wish for now, it's to get my family back together again forever in peace, joy and harmony. :amen
Aww. E hugs dear. Take it to God in prayer n be happy
DeleteI'm equally suffering from emotional abuse at the moment and I'm also pregnant.it started early in the this pregnancy. I have two to three more months to go. I don't know if things will change but right now, I'm resolute in my decision to leave after I put to bed. Will probably give it some months after delivery to get things together and get an apartment. It's either I have happiness in my life or I die trying.
DeleteMost pregnant women are troublesome!...
DeleteAnon19:53,I hope the fault is not from you!...
"most pregnant women are troublesome" that's a very thoughtless thing to say. You may have been pregnant before and maybe it wasn't so bad for you but please never compare yourself to other women. You do know many women die from pregnancy. A lot of it is by the grace of God. Be thankful and try show empathy for others and for those women who overdo, only God can judge them because only God knows what they are going through.
DeleteAnon 19.53, hang in there. You will pull through. It's very hard being pregnant and being under that kind of stress but lean on God, he's got you no matter what. You will be fine.
Stella mine is a decay one.we had our introduction when I was 18yrs I had a daughter for him at the age of 19,ran for my life when my baby was a year plus,he came in the name of visit and said his mama was sick and they aren't sure she will survive it and she ask to see her grand kids so he will like to take her along with the permission of my dad he took her and that was the end. Miraculously I got her back early last month but he appeared on the 2Nd of January and wanted tto forcefully take her away my little girl stared crying that mummy I don't want to go with him but he wanted to force her so I rush to keep her in my neighbour's bedroom and when I came out the monster rush to my neighbour's bedroom to take my child that was when the woman asked him who gave him the right to enter her bedroom that she is a married woman and could arrest him.long story short he left without my baby my parents ask me if I want to keep my girl and I said yes to my surprise my dad bluntly told me that if I insist on keeping my child that I can not leave under the same roof with him that I should pack out of his house as soon as possible but I can't give my child back to that man cus there is an outstanding case that she was abuse sexually in her father's house she is too small and I can't let her go she is six now.I regret ever crossing paths with that man and pray for God's intervetioN
ReplyDeleteNa wah oh!..
DeleteI wanted to advise you give him your child to train so you can be free untill I got the part of her being sexually abused!...
Damn it!!...
i don't know if this my request fit in here, please help a sister.
ReplyDeletethere is this 50 years old man, divorce, asking my hand in marriage.
Before now i was in a relation with a guy who left for abroad since 2008 but has not returned, he is a very nice person,we talk like 4 times in a week, he makes promises to come back every year but no show, he stopped sending money for my up keep since 2 years ago, but he made me promise to come this February so he can pay my bride price, i really dont know if he will fulfill his promise, and i dont want to keep the 50 year man waiting.
i am 31 considering age difference, dont want a situation where i can not present my husband in public.
Please help me with advise
50 years old man,have u investigated his life? Don't go and mess ur self up, your own will come, I know one 50yrs old man who keeps marring women, hooping from one marriage to another, in fact I am his victim as well, Father of 2sons,he abandoned them and his wife for different women, in fact he is in his 4th mission of marriage as we speak be sure he is not the same man.
DeletePray to God for directions and keep yourself and hearth clean as you do so.
It is well
Be there waiting for someone that does not have papers in the abroad!..
DeleteDon't go and grab the old man at hand and start making babies!...
Age is no longer on your side!...
It's important to marry for the right reasons even when considering age factor. Put your matter before God and let Him lead you. Seems you prefer your abroad guy. February is around the corner, why not wait and see while you pray the elderly man to give you a little time to consider. If after February, your abroad guy is still no show, then you can then consider being with Papa but be honest with yourself. Why do you want to marry Papa when you are not even sure you can present him in public? Think very well and make peace with yourself so you avoid a life of misery or an avoidable divorce. May God guide you.
DeleteOya' all lazyass girls wey be gold digger ,I must marry rich man!!!make una come see how una stories go take end for here.
ReplyDeleteNobody wants a divorce but some of us did it to save our lives. We married women and men whom we thought we had similar visions, and goals. It is not common place in our society for a person to admit they missed it in the area of picking a spouse. This is why a lot of people are in bad marriages and just patching along living like roommates and being terrible examples for their children in the area of marriages.
ReplyDeleteI do not regret my divorce, I also do not regret meeting my ex because if I did not, I would not have gained the experience I have today. I am Christian and I asked the Lord for HIS forgiveness not that of my Pastor or the Church. I would not have the knowledge to guide others on WHAT NOT TO DO and what to look out for to avoid a divorce. I remarried, my God given spouse...many would disagree but guess what, I am not living for them or society. I have been blissful ever since and everyday I thank God for this marriage, even my children are grateful for a second chance to see love in its real form. I pray for all those in dead end marriages that they will find a solution. God is ever merciful and He will help you if you decide to leave and be happy. He will also help you work it out IF IT IS HIS WILL. Some people are married and bitter, sinning everyday and staying put because of society. If you think divorce will send you to hell, try having a heart of unforgiveness and cheating on your spouse to pass time. I pray especially for those who are still single...PLEASE TAKE YOUR TIME. Divorces are not easy and they waste your precious time. Choose wisely. Ladies, if you rush in you will rush out. Nothing better than having peace about a man. Men are hectic to deal with but a good man will make the journey worth it. Marry your friend or a man who will make you his friend. There is nothing and no storm you can not weather together. Fine face fades, bank account balance can change, character is eternal.
My brothers, her shape and kitchen skills nowadays can be purchased. A woman who has a great heart will take you far. We have failed our men by not teaching them that they also hold the home together. It is not only a woman that will hold the marriage. When we have this notion, we end up burdening women and then the women crack under this enormous weight. Many women are as good as married to themselves because the husbands do nothing but pay bills and lord themselves over the wives. The husbands dont get involved in raising the kids or even dating their wives. You worked hard to get her, work harder to keep her.
God help us all!
Thank you so much.
DeleteAbsolute Wisdom!! Flesh and blood did not reveal this to you
DeleteAwwww @anon16.50. May God hear ur prayer and restore ur fam . Drop ur email will like to pray with u. If u wish tho. Ur words touched me.
ReplyDeleteDrop your email, I will mail you as soon as I get it. Thank you.
DeleteI love u so much Stella.
ReplyDeleteAm addicted to your blog but dont comment. Stella your blog has brought me tears of joy and very soon I will tell my story here. God bless all the SDK followers and may all your wishes comes to pass.
Amen!...
DeletePlease do and tell us!...
I no go talk again oh, so that I won't recieve bashing. I use to laugh out loud when I see someone been bashed here. Madam ur reply done make me dey fear to talk walahi.
DeleteNo matter how you slice it or dice it, divorce is real and it will become the reality of people who marry the wrong person or marry for the wrong reasons. What some of you don't realise is, a lot of married couples remain under the umbrella of marriage for fear of the stigmatisation of divorce. A lot of divorced people are happier and live better lives than those trapped in a loveless marriage with the tedious routine of "smiling for the cameras", pretending to be happily married but behind closed doors, they can hardly stand the sight of each other.
ReplyDeleteAs long as marriage exists, there will always be divorce. In spite of the negativity surrounding divorce, in some cases, divorce has been known to save lives. I'm not a fan of the "D" word, I see it as the last resort, the final course of action when all forms of reconciliation fails and especially when life, limb or sanity is/are at stake. I'll rather have my friend tagged "a divorcee" that "late MRS".
But you know what I find curious and slightly hilarious? The fact that some of the comments vehemently opposing the idea of the divorce chronicles, are also written by some ladies who shame and cuss out married women who refuse to leave abusive marriages or leave but return back. Sometimes the hypocrisy is staggering! You dread divorce and feel it doesn't deserve a post but you cuss out married ladies who choose to remain in abusive marriages. Approbate and reprobate, speaking from both sides of the mouth. A good reason why you show be wary of the advice you take from people because those same people will call you out if things fall apart. Best do what you're at peace with.
As for the stories being pack of lies, gross exaggerations and one-sided, what exactly do you think the other stories you read here are? A fresh burst of honesty? Oh Com'on! In a platform where people are allowed to assume whichever or whatever characters they like and get to live out their fantasies, isn't it rather rich expecting 100 % honesty? Please don't break my heart and tell me y'all believe the chronicles of blog visitors' narratives are narrations of the true facts? If we can stomach all the lies we read here, why should divorce chronicles be "vilified"? At the end of the day, we choose which posts to read about which to skip, no?
Exactly!
Delete@ronalda, chop kiss.too much hypocrisy here
DeleteDivorce or any break up for that matter can be very disheartening. The saddest thing is that regardless of how rough it was for the women, they are the ones society blames. Only God can help married couples especially women to find good men.
ReplyDeleteI didn't get divorced but if I had gotten married to the father of my child, we would most certainly have divorced maybe under one year. Mistakes were made from my part like believing I was in a serious relationship with a man who wanted us to start trying for a baby so we can start a family, turns out he is a boy who needed the permission of his rich sister to do that. Long story short, rich sister is a narcissist who just wanted to draw blood every opportunity. She had problems with everything, frustrated the poor boy until he cracked and turned into a monster himself. He cancelled the wedding plans, to my relief and even denied being the father of the child. Yes, I made lots of mistake but I'm glad my child and I don't have to deal with such insanity. Marriage to that one would have been disastrous. I wished I totally dodged that bullet but it's sad I brought a child into that sort of situation. I pray that God is generous to my child. May God help us all.
Hnmmmmmmmmmmm
ReplyDeleteIf the 50 yr old loves you and has a good heart marry him pls . Age is a number. You can have a 30 yr old that treats you like shit .
ReplyDeleteKomife nsolo
ReplyDeleteIf y'all hear my own dv chronicle ull cry and curse men. Some men are just pure evil.
ReplyDeleteIf the 50 yr old loves you and has a good heart marry him pls . Age is a number. You can have a 30 yr old that treats you like shit .
ReplyDeleteAnon19.53 . Calm down . Most breakups happens during pregnancy. Do you know why ,pregnant women are like mad women . Gbam. Ur hormones are going haywire hence all this stuff going on. In ur head. My lil sis is pregnant too. Just yesterday she flogged the husband with belt !!! Big grown man o. He just ignored her. !!! When you give birth all this pepper body go stop . Y'all say a prayer for her pls. It is well in ur home.
ReplyDeleteI'd also love to see a situation whereby live comms or prayer sessions be held for troubled marriage thru speaking and prophesying healing in troubled marriages. One on one prayer hookups etc. And a segment where advice can be given on kids behaving badly or teenagers going astray. You can develop it as you wish. It's easier to mend broken children than broken adults. Let women talk about the challenges they're facing raising their kids and we proffer one or two solutions just like doctors section. Thanks . I still don't like you personally. Still.
ReplyDeleteComent 17:59 ad 19:50, biko chop kiss!!! See sense and maturity!!
ReplyDeleteCommon now! wise women are talking (weather lies or not, me I've sha gotten my wisdom)
All those saying the post should be taken down, why don't you listen to what wisdom and experience has to say?
If its a pack of lies, take the one you think is true and leave everything else
Are you so dumb to think everything is true or a lie?! So wait; you rathee believe everything on IG and Twitter but not believe peoples alleged life experiences?!? Please you need to expand your mind you uneducated and literate agbaya
SDK!!! Wehdone Ma!! Number 1 baby of all the babies in alabeke (Philo's voice)
This segment should be a regular, infact monthly wisdom for single, and married people. Btw, MEN, please we women are waiting for your contribution, experiences and words of advice.
You never know. It can help identify a potential red flag in a marriage headed for the rocks, and help heal a broken marriage through other peoples experience. It can help single women shine their eye weh weh. Please lets stop being hypocrites here! The alarming rate of divorce and fake marriages in the society, we should welcome all comments from people who have had similar experiences talk to us.
Peace and love in the middle east ya'll xoxo
Not yet divorced but it's seems it's heading that way. Didn't marry a virgin cuz I never was.
ReplyDeleteMolested as a child....story for another day. Marriage was barely a year old when it hit the rocks. Stella, it's a long story. His mother controls him now, she's ruined it all. Called me a prostitutie because I didn't marry her son a virgin. He's practically nowhere to be found. I have been taking care of my baby all alone. Waiting for her to be a year old and I take a walk. My omugwo??? A nightmare with her. 7 days after delivery I should enter kitchen and cook for myself .Someday will send in my story.
I got married to a man I didn't love. I was a virgin before marriage, when we married I was 26years and believe me I wasn't under any undue stress to get married so till now I don't know exactly what I was thinking to have made me marry him. Now problem statyed when I couldn't bear to have sex with him, I mean I just couldn't. My mind was disassociated from him in all ramifications. We couldn't connect at all. Oh well he walked out of the do called marriage late 2015 and the divorce petition is being prepared and i hope its final in few months. Bottom line for me stay true to yourself, marry for the right reasons, marry when u r absolutely sure not cos others are gettin married. Marriage is 100-100 ,not 50-50 or 89-20. ! All the best
ReplyDelete