NARRATIVE NUMBER ONE
WHEN THE PAST COMES CALLING..
Hi Stella really appreciate all you have been doing your words of advice on people relationship has really helped me .please let me just share this nasty story please, I accept am at fault just needed an advice right now and please keep me anonymous.
Hi Stella really appreciate all you have been doing your words of advice on people relationship has really helped me .please let me just share this nasty story please, I accept am at fault just needed an advice right now and please keep me anonymous.
Please Stella I started dating a guy not quite long but before I met him I knew his friend but unknowingly to me they were close .We met in a club and was high and got down with each other and now am with this new guy i went to pay a visit Xmas day and I met that same friend there so i told my guy and he said I shouldn't talk about it that he knew since and it happened before I met him .
And now I want to leave him because guys are very funny I don't want it to look like I lost at the end .he gave me his word but I don't believe any of it.please should i kindly walk away from friends drama?
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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
Now, to the issue. I discovered to my disappointment that this guy has anger issues, overly possessive and could be dangerously jealous few months after introducing him to my family. Only God knows how many slaps I have received from him just over some misunderstandings. He demands respect from me like kilode, he terms every of my reactions as disrespect if I have to confront him over anything.
I tried to explain to my family but they don't seem to understand me, saying he's my destined husband that's why the devil is trying to separate us. If we had a quarrel,after slapping and verbally abusing me, he will then call my family to report me to them that I don't respect him. He has even succeeded in turning my family against me.
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NARRATIVE NUMBER TWO
CONFUSED
Hi, Stellz. Great work you are doing here. Please hide my Id. I urgently need your red pen and that of BVs becos on my relationship.
So, I met this guy last year March, I must confess that he is a great guy. I am 25 and he's 31. Few weeks into the relationship,he started demanding to meet my parents. And all that. I told my mum about him and she said she was going to pray and seek God's approval about my relationship before I introduce him to the family as it's the family tradition.
Hi, Stellz. Great work you are doing here. Please hide my Id. I urgently need your red pen and that of BVs becos on my relationship.
So, I met this guy last year March, I must confess that he is a great guy. I am 25 and he's 31. Few weeks into the relationship,he started demanding to meet my parents. And all that. I told my mum about him and she said she was going to pray and seek God's approval about my relationship before I introduce him to the family as it's the family tradition.
She came back and said I could bring him, that our stars match each other, and that I will be fulfilled with him. To say I was happy is an understatement, I was overjoyed.
Now, to the issue. I discovered to my disappointment that this guy has anger issues, overly possessive and could be dangerously jealous few months after introducing him to my family. Only God knows how many slaps I have received from him just over some misunderstandings. He demands respect from me like kilode, he terms every of my reactions as disrespect if I have to confront him over anything.
I tried to explain to my family but they don't seem to understand me, saying he's my destined husband that's why the devil is trying to separate us. If we had a quarrel,after slapping and verbally abusing me, he will then call my family to report me to them that I don't respect him. He has even succeeded in turning my family against me.
I love him and I respect him but the way he demands respect from me makes me feel he wants me to worship him. The way he vibrates when he's angry makes me fear for my future with him. Another confusing thing about him is how sweet and humble he turns after every fight.
I feel trapped. Please, how do I handle this??
NB: he's fixed engagement for February.
I feel trapped. Please, how do I handle this??
NB: he's fixed engagement for February.
Your family is delusional. Marry him and be sending regular Chronicles to Stella
ReplyDeletePoster two: All these women that die from domestic violence don't die with their families oooo. I hope you get where I am heading to.
DeleteI honestly pity for the second poster. Let her be waiting for her family to be in control of her life u til its too late.
DeleteThe signs are there for her to jump out now, but she is being confused. How can someone say she is confused on what to do about a man who abuses her?
I am a man o, but I know something I will tell my female kids in future is that, if the man mistakenly hits you, even if na mistake, RUN from that relationship that day or I the father will end it for her myself.
Your family is too traditional
Wow.nne, he gonna kill u and like the mother of the other ex banker your mother will tell him" I forgive you" while your corpse rot away and in two months he gonna marry someone else who will use ur kids as her maids while hers will be princes a d princesses! Receive brain jare and stop asking us stupid question! Will your family live with u? Abeg if your mama like am so much to ur detriment make she kukuma marry am na! Rubbish she is probably blinded by material things! Gush how can a mother insist her daughter mist marry someone that hits her already before marriage? Well poster anything u see BEFORE u marry usually gets worse AFTER the wedding oooo. If u like hear!
DeletePoster2-Flee!
ReplyDeletePoster one I get your dilemma and confusion but the truth is that his reasons are valid and correct and if he is ur true love you just have to put him to some test.say no to sex for now until marriage if he agrees then cool but if he objects or agrees then begin to pressure you later or start saying things like you slept with my frnd so wats d big deal then quickly move on SIMPLE
Deleteposter two: No much words abeg,read through the news that sdk posted since morning you will see someone who died from domestic violence so advice yourself
@1, He will not Marry u, u are just a sex toy to him, walk away before you sheepishly fall in love with him.
ReplyDelete@2, domestic violence loading, u love a man who slaps and abuse u abi, u deserve the beating.
Poster1:you are just a sex toy to them, the guy will only use and dump u.
DeletePoster2 :start running from now before u end up with regrets. You are not even married to him now and he has started reporting you to your family?
Baby girl number 2;
ReplyDeleteThis is what happens when you don't have a relationship with Jesus Christ. "My mommy is a prayer warrior . . . my daddy is a pastor"; and what are you?
Poster 2, now that d love is supposed to be hot, he is slapping and abusing you. If you marry him, do you have any idea what will happen in the next 3 years? Then , he dey knock your head with hammer
DeleteLol @ knock your head with hammer#fact#
Delete@Poster 1, if you will continue with that guy, have it @the back of your mind that it's 50/50, so don't put all your eggs in one basket
ReplyDelete@Poster 1, honestly if you eventually marry that guy, you will pack out while pregnant after he must have beaten you to a point and landed you in hospital
*Larry was here*
*land you
Delete*Larry was here*
Poster 2...ur boo is from West i guess.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 do not ignore your feelings o they could be valid and I can imagine how you feel. Men can be funny, he can say he is cool with it but end up using it against you later.
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't say you should walk away but just know that you are one leg in and one out.
Anyway, I don't know why you even told him or concurred that something happened between you and his friend if we are to assume his friend already told him. Some things are best denied.
Poster 2 your mum is funny and she is leading you to the slaughter house. What the hell does your stars match mean.
How can parents continue to be so archaic at the detriment of their kids. Your are the one wearing the shoes, you better stand your ground I beg you.
Chop slaps? Wow that's not good enough. He hasn't even paid your price yet and he is so entitled. My dear stand you ground, heaven will not fall. Your parents will be upset yes but your future is more important and you should protect it with all you've got.
No one will feel the pain of hot slaps with you.
Fast and pray, God is still in the business of doing wonders.
The way he made your parents turn against, is the way he'd turn them against the monster. Do not marry him and I am seriously pleading.
DO NOT SUCCUMB TO PRESSURE.
I concur
DeletePoster 2 there is a the story of a woman currently trending on Facebook. She was beaten to death while pregnant by her husband. At 25 you are still young, please do not become a statistic I beg you. Your mum won't receive the beating for you.
DeleteI follow concur.
DeleteDear Poster 1, pls walk away from that relationship, Nigerian men are not built to permanently stomach such drama no matter what he tells u now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, this is a "one-chance situationship" u are clearly about to enter with ur eyes wide open...do NOT! U ll win d love of ur family back prayerfully, but cut this dangerous man off totally.
Poster 1 ..leave that guy asap as you said they can't be trusted...you set no try at all
ReplyDeletePoster 2 ..I'm sure you saw Stella's post about the lady that was killed by her husband due to domestic violence...I pray yours won't result to that after you are married to him because I'm sure hers started like this too.
Be wise!
Sef*
DeletePoster 1 we know you're a bitch. Just leave those guys and find someone else.
ReplyDeletePoster2 my dear Dumb his ass before he kills you. Your parents won't live in your matrimonial home.
But we know you won't listen, you must be a Mrs or you Die! So good luck
*dump
DeleteThanks olori
DeletePoster 1, watch with side eyes. Don't be too involved. Poster 2. A broken relationship is better than DV filled marriage. This you need to let your family understand.
ReplyDeletePoster 1- Nigerian men never let go of these things esp since they are close friends. You can only remain in that relationship if you are not one that thinks that all relationships lead to marriage. If you are counting on marriage, i'll suggest you leave or date with an open mind.
ReplyDeleteOn another note, you can follow queens advice, do not put all your eggs in one basket.
Poster 2- Oh please dont be stupid. This is 2017. Don't say you never saw the signs in the future. This is DV alert. Run as fast as you can. Tell your family members to marry him.
Poster 2;
ReplyDeleteWhy do ladies allow their parents do this; go to a "pastor, prophet" to find out? Are these pastors now fortune tellers? Why don't we ladies pray and be convinced and bear the consequences of our actions and work it out if need be? Can they just leave us alone?
This happened real:
This is THE TRAGEDY OF A LIFE LIVED OUT OF GOD. . .
Ma**y was 19 and very beautiful; six feet tall, ebony chocolate (if you imagine what I mean), and "an hour glass" shape that turns heads 360 degrees. Men began to come for marriage when she was 16 (looked more mature than sixteen) and above all, the daughter of a known lady professor who insisted that she'd complete her masters before marriage.
At 25, she had hit the jackpot of a suitor and her mother capitulated. A*e, her suitor is an oil magnate with an intimidating personae. Well, mama had to consult pastor to ascertain the veracity of the magnate's proposal. Pastor confirmed it and told them that the marriage is blessed with 3 boys and lots more. finally the wedding was fixed "in six months time". All the while, Ma**y's friend (a seasoned Christian) had encouraged her to take out time and seek God . . .pray and do not allow folks to think for you . . . have a personal relationship with him etc" but the "bride" will have none of it . . . she's been swept off her feet by the whole exactness of "the dream jackpot" and the anticipation of the family.
It was during "counselling for the wedding" that the first shocker came . . . "why does the pastor want you to be coming in turns for counselling?" Her friend had asked but she could not give any reason. The "man of God" knows what he was doing. Well, long story short; Ma**y was raped by the "man of God". And what became of his "marriage confirmation"? Well no marriage held . . .The lady's eyes opened to all the deceits, she was too downcast to consider marriage to a man . . . she hated men . . . the downward spiral continued to the point of attempted suicide; and saved by her lady christian friend. It was then that M . . . decided to seek God in fasting and prayers that she overcame the passion to take her own life and made peace with Christ. M. . . is not married yet (in her late 20's) but has overcome the hatred for men . . .
Let's see Ecclesiastes eleven vs. nine
"You who are young, be happy while you are young, and let your heart give you joy in the days of your youth. Follow the ways of your heart and whatever your eyes see, but know that for all these things God will bring you into judgment."
John ten vs. twenty seven:
"My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me":
Just like a pastor to my parents that his nieces staying with us are possessed.
DeleteHe had to sent them packing, it really hurts to see them go. I dislike those pastors with their fake prophecies.
Run!
ReplyDeletePoster 2
ReplyDeleteRIP in advance (Yea, I'm harsh)
The signs are there. When you get married, he'll insult you, insult your parents then beat you join ad by then ur parents will still tell you to manage because they want you married.
Then when he kills you, it'll be all over social media.
But will you listen? NO
You want to be MRS by force. Someone that does not respect or treat you right when dating will never do it when married.
Keep listening to the people telling you to marry him.
With all the DV cases going around, ladies won't hear.
I have no pity for people who see the signs but still go ahead.
Lolz... Domina
DeleteYou harsh sha but that's the pure truth. Poster 2 come and take Ussain Bolt's legs so that can run such that that mad man can never catch up wiv you. He is bad news.
Stella ps post this one too
Marjorie
Poster 2 sigh.
ReplyDeleteI feel like I should have a word with you personally.
Abuse whether physical, verbal or enotional is wrong and should not be taken lightly.
This man will rip you to shreds that at the end of the day this same family supporting him will reject you when you finally need to break free.
Do this for you, they have lived and are still living their lives. If you die in the hands of a woman beater, the world won't even stop for a second to pay you homage. You won't die a hero or a martyr.
Stand your ground and if you can mutter the courage to go against your parents. Agree to wedding arrangements and not show up.
Only an idiot will come back after a disgrace like that.
A bride did it recently in Lagos and the world didn't end. Do not marry this man o that will be you sending yourself to a death sentence.
I have said enough and I pray you'd adhere.
It's ok na. Are you using this epistle to cure depression or what ??
DeleteRob 😃😃😆😆😆😆 but I'm not depressed. No vex o
DeleteShe's even lucky to have found out now rather than the marital vow.Dear poster, you should be grateful to God and move on with your life.Yours will come in a better package.
DeleteThe first girl up there, you know deep down in your heart what to do, but you want to hear it from another person. If I were to be the new guy, I will not marry you. Believe me, most Nigerian men wouldn't. If you're in this for the long term, you better leave now. They're both laughing at you. Forget the sweet things he tells you. We will always tell women what they want to hear. Meanwhile, other ladies should learn from your experience. It's a small world. That guy you had a one night stand with could be a brother to your fiancé?
ReplyDeletePlease leave that man. You have no idea how many women are in unhappy marriages just because 'they' prayed about it. I don't believe in soul mates or anyone destined for anyone. I believe two people meet and both make a conscious effort to make their relationship work.
ReplyDeleteA guy that has started hitting you and who realises he has your family's support is a disaster waiting to happen.
Be wise
As in e'en... God bless you poster! Beating her already and with the family support and she is still here asking questions...
DeleteHe gave u his word? I wonder wat those words were.... A man will swear with his mother, unborn children join, just to browse you & log out, id have suggested u practice the mermaid thingy but he'd never allow it cus uve donated to his friend, so jejely walk away with ur dignity.
ReplyDeletePoster2: i stopped at "Only God knws hw many slaps I've received"..... You mean those slaps didn't reset ur brain to leave that guy? Ure here asking questions, the slap must hv caused ur brain to malfunction, cus a right working brain wldnt stand 5feet away from that guy.
Atheist..you are intelligent
DeletePoster 1: walk away from the drama
ReplyDeletePoster 2: you better leave that situation ship,if your life is precious to you.
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Brb to read comments
Poster 1: walk away from the drama
ReplyDeletePoster 2: you better leave that situation ship,if your life is precious to you.
Hahahaha poster 1 the guy will chop you well well, better walk and leave him. I don't trust that comment of his.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 you have started receiving slaps, when you do traditional marriage wetin you go receive. Better get sense now. Don't because of being a Mrs. You want to endure.
Leave him and let him work on his temper
P1 I don't even understand you.
ReplyDeleteP2... You better end that relationship before you become another domestic violence story!
Poster 1.... He has given u his words".. Thank God u know we men r too wicked and silly at times.
ReplyDeleteMy simple wofd for u is, u guyz should have an ❤ to ❤ discussion, study him for some times and see wat his reacrion over u looks like.
Now that it has been made know to him(ur past). Go to God in prayer, if he is urs, surely. Notin will stop him from having u.
Between, be careful about is friend cuz if he truly loves u, his froebd might come to u just to prove any bad tin he has said to him abt u. Dont give a chance for private discussion between u both.
Poster2... Well, i hate men or guys who beats their younger sis let alone thdir wives. He has anger problem n remember out of 100% of todys guyz or men, 90% loves to command respect like say na Gp.
Dis ur relationship can lead to somethings else when u get married.
Besides, this story sound like something am very familiar to and if am right then , u are very stupid cuz u have lied..
Quote.. If am right.. That is, if you are dsame person ave just tot of.. Resend ur chronicle and say d truth.. D guy no dey beat u, d problem is u..
I wont state some tinz.. Wating for u to reply me then i will then elaborate all to bevees
You know ursef ba(O.... RONKE)
Mc pinky
I am a man. The two ladies that wrote in should leave their shoes wherever they are right now and run aware bare footed! Run! Don't even look back. You're both on very tragic roads. Run!! I have never told a woman to leave her relationship, but I have to do this. Ruuuuuuun!
ReplyDeleteGbam! Nuff said.
Deleteposter 2.Don't worry it is just slaps,when he finally marries you hope he will not graduate to the next level. you wan marry intending woman beater and you still dey talk love. i pray you do not send in chronicles complaining about DV.
ReplyDeleteI am a man. The two ladies that wrote in should leave their shoes wherever they are right now and run aware bare footed! Run! Don't even look back. You're both on very tragic roads. Run!! I have never told a woman to leave her relationship, but I have to do this. Ruuuuuuun!
ReplyDeletePoster....stay and build that budding relationship of yours,your bf isn't bothered by it so why are you torturing yourself??, Calm your nerves...
ReplyDeleteIf you know you value your sanity/life and peace of mind, cut off that situationship you're into, walk away, your family do not have the right to decide nor force any relationship down your throat,,,,and if you decide to still go ahead, I pity what will become of you, your fiancée is a monster!!!!, He'll finish your destiny with beating!!
*Faithful bv*
Poster two i give you just your wedding night and you are dead,just try it. A man that has not married you and you have started sending chronicle,please call the relationship off now that it's still early.So it is this type of man your mother's prayers recommended for you? Please tell your mother to stop that nonsense tradition.
ReplyDeletePoster two,i feel your conscience is judging you but to me, there's nothing to worry about, after all you have told your man and he can stand up for you but if you really feel so uncomfortable please leave him but know that it will continue to pursue you from people that love you, so i suggest you face your fears and conquer it.
Poster 1, you sound very childish and immature and naïve. Grow up and face your book instead of having one-night stands at the club! Jesus is coming soon!!!
ReplyDeletePoster 2, does your mother patronize seers and babalawos? What do you mean your stars match when the guy is using you as his punching machine? Call off the rubbish engagement, stand your ground and face your family. If you marry that guy yoi will regret it. Don't say you didn't see the signs , yoi are seeing them now! Before sorry will be your first name. If you die, your family will be the ones to blame you for marrying him. Receive sense!!!
p1. giff yuorsef sum respeck n wok aware jor. so meny risens I Kant stat leasting...
ReplyDeletep2. awa eldas alwares sey "if yuo can beer the issing of a sneck, dun complane wen it bytes.... Na from shecking herd em dey teck enta danse. i'yam north axing yuo to stey or unstey... al i'yam seying is that yuo shool use yuor tong an cownt yuor tits.
..
#Mine 2saints.
1st poster, that your guy don't take you seriously. Trust me, it is rare for a guy to accept a girl that has had a thing with his friend. It's not like you guys were in a relationship but it was a fling in the club? Hahaha. My dear, just walk away. Because he will definitely use it against you in the future. Look at the way Tee blizz spilled all other f**k words on Tiwa. My dear, waka.
ReplyDelete2nd poster, those signs you see now will reinforce in marriage. That's a potential husband beater and or mentally abusive marriage building. Flee!
As regards the second poster* sweetheart Pls leave the relationship before its too late, am so happy you guys aren't married yet so it's a lot easier than ever. These are warning signs!! Not every relationship will lead to marriage! This is how some abused women started in their relationship and marriage! As for your family members, they won't be with you in your marital home! Good luck!
ReplyDeletePoster one, You are going to be his punching bag!
ReplyDeleteGet married to him and your life is ruined.
In a relationship he is already behaving like that. When you marry him, you will become his property. Is that what you want. If you can tolorate him congrats in advance but if you love your face, body and heart, borrow usan bolt's legs and run!!
Waiting for the poster no 2 response... I can relate with this chronicle cuz hmmmm.
ReplyDeleteSome people will jusy send chronicle without stating out dia own fault(poster2).
But if you are not the person then follow any good advice here but if you are.. My sister it wont help u until you say the truth..
U met March last year
Ur family(mum)prayed about him
They love him
Omo forget, no come bobo bevees here. Come out straight, tell us the truh or i expose you.
Mc pinky
I don't know what you are talking about. You seem to know/have a similar case, trust me, you don't know jack about me
DeleteI meant poster 2
ReplyDeletePoster one do whatever you want.
Poster, date him and act like a mermaid, as in no sex. Cos u r now a born again. if he choose to go fine, and if he decide to stay, good.
ReplyDeletePoster1*
DeletePoster two, You are going to be his punching bag!
ReplyDeleteGet married to him and your life is ruined.
In a relationship he is already behaving like that. When you marry him, you will become his property. Is that what you want. If you can tolorate him congrats in advance but if you love your face, body and heart, borrow usan bolt's legs and run!!
Poster 1, if you love him and he acts right, put your mind at rest. It's your past I hope he really understands that... jst be wise
ReplyDeletePoster 1
ReplyDeleteI don't feel like you have any reason to let this new guy go, seeing as you've been honest with him and he understands the situation. I will suggest you just go with the flow and be very observant and attentive to his actions, as talk is cheap. If you notice some character traits that suggest indeed he's not at peace with you previously hooking up with his friend, then you can bounce. Don't start overcompensating and going the extra mile, just be comfortable, and shine your eye.
Poster 2
So even with all the stories of domestic violence, you are still considering staying with a man who has put his hands on you. I can't believe this. Your man has a serious inferiority complex and it has nothing to do with you! He is a psychopath you need to drop him like a bad habit. Your family won't be living with him, na from clap e dey take enter atilogwu. A man like him will NEVER be content with what you do or say, he'll always find fault and criticize the hell out of you till you lose your self esteem. You are already walking on eggshells around a man you haven't started living with. RUN. Respect is earned, not demanded. I am 24 and my man is 33 but you'll never know because he treats me as an equal the way it should be, and he forgives my faults like kilode. That man doesn't love you, he's looking to control you. All the best as you find another guy.
Best comment in 2017
DeletePoster1 pls kind walk away
ReplyDeletePoster2 pls walk away now cos he won't change and no excuse for domestic violence
I will read comments
ReplyDeletePoster 1 if you guys really love each other and he respects you, then stick with him with your eyes wide open.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 please run for your dear Life. I've been married for years now and we haven't complained to any single soul ever....you are just dating and he reports you to your parents. Nah its all shades of wrong
@poster 1 men are of different types
ReplyDeleteBecause I got down onece with a guy out of frustration in my relationship, gut happens to be related to the guy I left my ex for, not just related but his elder bro, from same womb....met them together one day and nearly died....told Tue truth even before being asked...and my story tallied with his bigbrows story..and he gave his approval for our wedding .long and short we've been married for 1year plus, we ha i act towarss bros like nothing ever happened and he respects me for that..now...expecting our first child ....so let the truth set you free.
Better end this toxic relationship before we hear stories that touch. Just slap while dating and stupid you is saying I love him, trust me it'l be koboko when u get married. Stop being stupid and leave his sorry ass.
ReplyDeleteIf you choose to stay cos of ur parents,get ready to carry your cross
Poster 1: Its up to you
ReplyDeletePoster 2: Please walk away, it will get worse. You are the one marrying him not your parents
Poster 1: You're old enough to make decisions on your own. Start now.
ReplyDeletePoster 2: You're a domestic violence statistic waiting to happen, i need no prophet to tell me this. You may live to tell your story or not. Marry for yourself and not for your family? Who is being abused right now? You or your prophetic family?
Poster 1: i don't think you should walk out of the relationship, you were truthful and courageous enough to tell your new guy what ensued between you and his friend and he has assured you it won't be a problem, so why are you fretting yourself? Please feel free and enjoy your relationship, however if your conscience is pricking about what you did, the choice is yours to decide.
ReplyDeletePoster 2, madam please borrow yourself sense and walk out of that toxic and emotional torture of a relationship, if you think he will change after marriage then you are on a very long thing, infact if you go ahead and get married to him, he will graduate to violence, walk out and never look back now that there's still time.
Make two of una better borrow ALADDIN mat.oya gberraaaa!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteposter 1....Give that guy a chance don't judge him base on ur own mistake.. all guys are not d same... ladies need to realize dat
ReplyDeleteposter 2....that ur so called relationship is a disaster waiting to happen... like some bvs will say... borrow urself sense and run for ur life.. like seriously 🏃 run run.... don't coman make d next headline news on dv
See this mumu poster 2 ooo!
ReplyDeleteU have not even started anything and you are already feeling trapped???
Come on! Will you pick up your life and run away from that beast before u get engaged and married to him! Maybe he has used jazz on your family but can't you women ever be in charge of your lives? This is madness at its peak. Are u a baby that you really would watch you family make a wrong marital decision for you? If you never knew before there's something called the lying spirit. That's the spirit that God allowed to kill Ahab. Yes! God sent that spirit to deceive all the prophets in Israel that they all couldn't see the real mind of God concerning Ahab. So that same spirit must be using your family just to destroy your destiny. You better protect your future so you do not finally get trapped. Tell them all you are not ready for marriage, full stop! You can't afford to be controlled by a beast! You deserve better. There are sure guys out there. This is not the colour of love, Abeg. Save your life before it is indeed too late.
Stella Abeg post this one.
Marjorie
*1, you are right in thinking to leave him. He is just catching his fun with you.
ReplyDelete*2 Already slapping you several times before marriage? Show your parents the recent post of the lady that died with pregnancy on Christmas day. GET OUT OF THAT RELATIONSHIP NOW!
Poster 2: you have been given sensible advice already by different blog visitors but deep down,i have a feeling you will still continue with the wedding. I can assure you,he wont just beat you and render you useless, he will beat your parents too. Someone like the man you described up there isn't mentally stable, he will make sure he cuts you off from your friends and family members i.e he will isolate you due to his jealousy and inferiority complex and be ready to be a regular patient in the hospital because you will be beaten @ the slightest provocation, you will loose your sense of reasoning because he will never allow you give an opinion in the running of the house and do you know the deadliest part? He has your parents under his wings,they will always take his side and blame you for anything he does. If after reading all the sensible advice each Bv gave and you still went ahead with the wedding, my dear,its your funeral and all it will cost me is RIP.
ReplyDeleteI'do advise the two posters to run from these relationships cos they are toxic.
ReplyDeletePoster one: Your guy might sound lovey-dovey now, I belt you it might not seem that way if he manages to walk you down the aisle. There will be mistrust in the relationship and this might eventually lead to DV.
I will never judge you cos am not a saint but this is one reason ladies shouldn't get down with any man esp on the first date.
Poster Two: I like to speak from experience even if they are not personal. Run if you dont want to die young . I lost a beautiful neighbour as a result of DV.
My darling, it doesn't matter if your wedding is already fixed.Your life is more important.
I wish i can speak with you personally. All the best as you take the right decision.
Dear Poster 1: Its better to walk away as your final answer ** in Frank Edoho's voice'**
ReplyDeleteDear Poster 2: To say that you still asking this questions in 2017 is least of my disappointment? Do You live the village or what?? dont hear stuff about domestic violence on social media and newspapers? Stella has done countless posts on domestic violence and u are still asking?? HMMM no body can force you to marry him except yourself..You better take courage and say NO..ahn ahn
Poster 2
ReplyDeleteI must marry.
May he beat you and blind your eyes and break your legs.
May he beat you when pregnant and push you down the stairs
May he puncture ur lungs with blows
Sebi you like domestic violence? You like to be beaten up like a baby
Oya now
"HAPPY" MARRIED LIFE
Poster 1: The way i shined eyes to read your story eh... Now that your head is not fully lost and you are still in full control of your senses, jejely pack yourself out of that relationship. If you had hinted that this guy is a deeply rooted born again christian and some attributes pointing to someone with a large heart and matured mind, i would have said ride on. Trust me,if it were there, you would have unconsciously let it slip but he clearly isn't that type.
ReplyDeleteThat talk about it all being in the past is pure infatuation talking. Such guys in this Obodo Nigeria is damn rare, infact fear if you jam such, when they mess up...it's a major train wreck.
Most guys want a fresh package aside the project-lovers. You slept with his friend, a friend he has known longer than you and whatever love you think you share. He doesn't know it yet, but he is on auto-destruct mode with your relationship,soon it will manifest. He sounded or you painted his reaction to be flippant and way too carefree for comfort. No misgivings,no honest disappointment just a Jesus-like reaction, a Nigerian man...Haaaaa!!!
His friend telling him before you is a subtle nudge for your bobo not to settle for his leftover. Then the circumstances of your meeting, met in a club, got high and went down. Friend and bobo know it could be with anybody and that should guide your action and hopes for this new relationship. Bounce while you can,with minimal heartbreak and be a fresh babe for the next guy and his circle of friends. Pls, keep your legs closed and never let yourself get high again, losing control is classless for anyone let alone a lady...it's a small world.
Poster 2:Your mum consulted a fake pastor or lied about praying, Yes, mothers get too excited about prospect of weddings, many project hopes and expectations all over the place and ruin their daughter's life with bad advice and terrible consent. All that give me time to go pray may just be to add weight to the final yes and pick asoebi colours
God's package brings peace not confusion or mixed signs.
He is a God of purpose and clarity. For your own sake, end it with that guy. This is a hefty manipulator who would smash your existence through his cunny tweaks and drama. Banish the thought of disappointing your family, dashing your mum's hopes. It is marriage, lifetime journey. It's your life, be justly selfish about how it's going to be played.
Goodluck!
Very wise counsel #weldone Ma...
DeletePoster 2 I hope you didn't go around telling this your bf that ya mama prayed about him? I am saying this so you don't make the same mistake with your next man! Informations like this should be very personal. Obviously this relationship has gone sinking and unless you want to drown with it, Get out safe.
ReplyDeletePoster 1 your thought exactly. Leave the friends.
MrsBee
Poster one you don't have any problem, if you want to walk away good for you, learn to behave when you go clubbing who highness epp?
ReplyDeletePoster 2... pls run, thank God for showing you signs. A man can't slap me twice, the first time you slap me am out of the relationship. Your husband will locate you.
ReplyDeleteposter1....He wants to have his own share, be careful.
@Narrator 2...but you said "he is a great guy"
ReplyDeleteFYI: Great guys don't slap nor bully women.
Enough of these he's a great guy ish...and in the end its on the contrary.
Except you just don't know the denotative meaning of your adjectival phrase.
Poster two men like that can pet for Africa, is better you walk away now that you can still walk away, do not Marry this guy for no reason else after marriage you will always be depressed and unhappy in your marriage. If your parents refuse to listen to you, just forget about the guy, give him distance, tell him since you always disrespect him that is best you both move on.
ReplyDeleteDo not Marry him biko.
Poster 1&2 please walk away.
ReplyDelete1... Try having a celebate relationship from now on with him, his actions thereafter will show if he is in for love or for the sex.
ReplyDelete2.....Break up the relationship but don't tell your family esp your mum. Give them the silent treatment. Don't even tell the power mike your intentions, ignore & don't return his calls, don't visit him & refuse totally to discuss it with your family if the topic comes up.
1- I know most guys are not usually able to stomach such things. He may just want to chop his own and clean mouth. Be cautious.
ReplyDelete2- Run. You're lucky you are yet to say I do. Most married DV victims wish they could wind the clock backwards. Leave now while you can.
Poster number 2. My advise is 1)RUN 2)RUN 3)RUN. That's it.
ReplyDeleteMy sweetheart please run for your life, am married to a man like that, the jealousy and temper is too much, am verbally abuse, we have kids together and everybody said I should manage him since he's not physically abusive. My sister it's better you walk now than after marriage. Africa marriage is not easy on the woman oooooo
ReplyDeleteNawaooo is well
ReplyDeletePoster 1 . Please leave the guy because men always discuss women in their lives like ladies gossip when they see each other.
ReplyDeletePoster 2 . that's the sign of a violent man. Please, run while you still can . don't listen to your family, you're the one wearing the shoe and know where it pinches you ohhhhhh
Whenever i see stories like this I get disheartened...my advice is ,we've all got one life to live,So live it the best you can..don't let anyone especially those use with the title "Hubby,fiancé or boyfriend" to take that away from you..
ReplyDeleteWhenever i see stories like this I get disheartened...my advice is ,we've all got one life to live,So live it the best you can..don't let anyone especially those use with the title "Hubby,fiancé or boyfriend" to take that away from you..
ReplyDeletePoster 2 run run run.
ReplyDelete