STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
BROUHAHA OVER TTC
Good day Stella, God bless you for being a blessing to us and everyone else
My story is quite long so please bear with me. I got married late last year to my husband man and we were quite cool till I started expecting to get pregnant but still got no show. I was frustrated and in all honesty, I nagged at him sometimes and other times when I'm down, he gets down too and cry.
Sometime in September, barely 11 months to my wedding, I went to see my parents in laws and barely two days with them, they took me for general fertility test without my permission (I felt ambushed) but I was quiet about it.
After ten days of taking the herbs, I had to stop cos that was the amount of days the man asked me to take the drugs for and I was practically useless cos I couldn't go out as a result of going to the toilet over twenty times a day. And then I was taking a drug called progy-nova (basically for menopause), parlodel and some other drugs with the herbal medicine. Stella I saw hell.
Some two weeks after taking the drugs, my legs started swelling and I had joint pains and incessant headaches then I went for a scan to see if the fibroid has reduced, two different scan places observed that it even increased. Stella, I died and woke up. While driving home that day, I bashed my car somewhere cos I was mad.
Only for my elder sister who is a doctor to ask for the drugs given to me and I mentioned progynova and she asked me if I didn't Google the drugs given to me that the said drug was meant for people with menopause. I told my husband what she said and I googled the drug too and he acted like my sister didn't know more than the doctor that prescribed the drug so while he was calling the doctor, the doctor asked him to send my scan result but I refused and snatched the result from him. And he called the doctor and was running me down to the man but I didn't say a word instead, I stopped taking the man's calls.
So this past weekend, his brother in canada got married to a girl there too but they didn't come for the marriage so they has to do it in absentia and hubby asked me not to bother following him to the village that it's not necessary and he told my dad same thing too only for him to get to the village and started scolding me on why I didn't come saying that everyone was asking after me (I was shocked Stella).
On Wednesday, I was going through his facebook and saw the chat with his younger sister who is my age mate and she was saying all manner of things. I had to reply her and since then, hubby and I are as good a divorced.
I just want BVS to tell me my fault in all honesty. Thanks guys
Good day Stella, God bless you for being a blessing to us and everyone else
My story is quite long so please bear with me. I got married late last year to my husband man and we were quite cool till I started expecting to get pregnant but still got no show. I was frustrated and in all honesty, I nagged at him sometimes and other times when I'm down, he gets down too and cry.
Sometime in September, barely 11 months to my wedding, I went to see my parents in laws and barely two days with them, they took me for general fertility test without my permission (I felt ambushed) but I was quiet about it.
After the test, the doctor said he saw fibroid, hormonal imbalance and what have you but the hospital looked so wack cos they just had blood littered everywhere and I saw one of the girls there writing down people's result off heart. After that day, the doctor asked my husband to come for test and then gave me some drugs for my hormones and local bitter herbs for the fibroid.
After ten days of taking the herbs, I had to stop cos that was the amount of days the man asked me to take the drugs for and I was practically useless cos I couldn't go out as a result of going to the toilet over twenty times a day. And then I was taking a drug called progy-nova (basically for menopause), parlodel and some other drugs with the herbal medicine. Stella I saw hell.
Some two weeks after taking the drugs, my legs started swelling and I had joint pains and incessant headaches then I went for a scan to see if the fibroid has reduced, two different scan places observed that it even increased. Stella, I died and woke up. While driving home that day, I bashed my car somewhere cos I was mad.
Only for my elder sister who is a doctor to ask for the drugs given to me and I mentioned progynova and she asked me if I didn't Google the drugs given to me that the said drug was meant for people with menopause. I told my husband what she said and I googled the drug too and he acted like my sister didn't know more than the doctor that prescribed the drug so while he was calling the doctor, the doctor asked him to send my scan result but I refused and snatched the result from him. And he called the doctor and was running me down to the man but I didn't say a word instead, I stopped taking the man's calls.
After the call,i and my husband had a quarrel and he called his parents after he had left me and called my parents too crying to them for whatever reason. His parents didn't call me but mine did and they resolved our issues but I vowed not to call his parents till they call to ask what really happened and they didn't call me.
So this past weekend, his brother in canada got married to a girl there too but they didn't come for the marriage so they has to do it in absentia and hubby asked me not to bother following him to the village that it's not necessary and he told my dad same thing too only for him to get to the village and started scolding me on why I didn't come saying that everyone was asking after me (I was shocked Stella).
it dawned on me that I was married to a child. We had mad misunderstanding on phone and he probably cried to his people again as usual. He came home on Sunday and continued from where he stopped and threatened me on packing my things so as I moved to the direction of my boxes to start packing, he pushed me and I fell and before I knew it, I started bleeding and he rough handled me and my neck started paining me till now.
On Wednesday, I was going through his facebook and saw the chat with his younger sister who is my age mate and she was saying all manner of things. I had to reply her and since then, hubby and I are as good a divorced.
I just want BVS to tell me my fault in all honesty. Thanks guys
WOW!!!..I dont know what to say..You married a man that cannot stand up for you..A CHILD!!!
Na wa. Because of marriage you took insults. Ambushed by in-laws etc. Chai
ReplyDeleteYou both are children and ain't ready for marriage but your hubby is even a bigger baby for getting his family involved.
DeleteYour faults. Why dint you ever bother visiting a gynea in the first place, why did you wait to be ambushed?
2. Why dint you ask a doctor or a pharmacist about the drugs or atleast make use of Google before consuming?
3. A lot of arguements btw you and your husband could have been avoided but you must show yourself. If I were in your shoes il not say anything but il never do anything I don't want to do. Let your actions speak louder than your words
To your husband
1. He is so childish, why is he crying up and down?
2. Why get his parents involved in everything?
3. Touching a woman violently is totally never acceptable. He reminds me of ubi franckling, one min you are crying the next you are violent
How you guys can work things out
Don't bother exchanging words with him or his family even his baby sis, make them feel below you. You don't need to always fight your battles physically, pray and also avoid them but stand your grounds on the kind of doctor you want to visit and other decisions that concern your health
Apologys to your hubby then talk to him about how you feel and what it takes to make a marriage work e.g solving issues yourself, seeing a neutral gynea from a general hospital together. If he doesn't agree then he isn't ready for marriage.
I have said it on numerous occasions and I will continue saying it. Ladies stay away from men that cry. They are crafty and manipulative little imps. Serial killers in the making, they will hurt you then start confusing you by crying. Unmarried Bvs run from crying men and if he kneels down in front of you when crying, run faster.
DeleteYou have no fault @all.
DeleteIs it Jesus fault that he had to die for our sins even when he did notin wrong ? .....
Instead for u to seek how to stop the rot, u r here asking whose fault .....
If yur hubby acts like a tenager, unfortunately, you my dear think like a 5yr old.
Thanks Mrs no fault
Dats all
Poster you also sound immature. Your sister is a doctor but you took pills You know nothing about? This chronicle is incomplete and the too annoying to comment on. You and your husband have a lot of growing up to do. What did the sister say, and what did you reply with?
DeleteMadam don't you have a job and some money?? Since you said you are as good as divorced, go to a good hospital, let them run a test and please go for an operation to get rid of the fibroid "shapaly". And for your husband, look for a day, a nice n wonderful day, to talk to your husband heart to heart. You surely need it. From what you said, he seems to be a man you can talk to, he will change trust me.. Then confide in your mum about how family differences can b settled.. Don't say because his family refused to talk with yours, then no settlement..NO. Settle whatever diff. don't say they ll take your family as mumu. Things will surely work out. Pray n pray n pray.. Let your husband go to church with you, pray together, wake him up at night to pray, before you sleep and when u awake in the morning.. Things will change I'm sure of that.. You will carry your own baby I pray thee..
DeleteDear poster progynova isn't used for menopausal women only. Progynova is an estrogen tablet and it is widely used in assisted reproductive techniques (ART).
DeleteBut a medical doctor giving u herbs for fibroid is a "NO "NO".
My advice to u is to stop been heady, try work things out with ur hubby even though ttc puts a strain on homes. If u ain't comfortable with the hospital, u mustn't take the drugs. U can act as if u have taken it to ur husband. After everything tell him it didn't work. Make enquiries about good gynaes u can visit or better a fertility clinic. 11months is a long time esp if u are over 30. Pls make hay while the sunshine
Why shld u reply ur SIL, u ve to start respecting urself pls, invading ur husand's privacy, I am not saying rough handling u is right,don't nag the poor man and u guys shld start acting like adults and u hubby is so attached to his family,pls work things out I beg u..
DeleteExactly. So stupid of you to reply your SIL no matter how angry you are. I have a stupid SIL and I totally ignore her.
DeleteNo 1. Stop involving family in your matter. If you are old enough to get married., you are old enough to talk through your issue.
Delete2. Number 1 can only work IG you make your husband your friend, your paddy, your gist partner, your gossip partner, your prayer partner.
3. Loosen up. Be that playful smiley girl that your ere when you were dating..life is not that serious. ..this is for your own sake. Being quarrelsome, nagging and depressed will affect you more even in your quest of getting pregnant.
4. You and hubby go to a teaching hospital and get assigned a Gynae. This is a specialist who will guide you. Generally, a doctor would not be bothered until a coup,e is more than 1 year in marriage and living together and having sex often. There are criteria. And there are tests before someone starts giving you super meds.
5. Give love a chance to return to your home! Try not to turn to a depressed always fasting, always seeking mountains because of child kind of wife. It ruins the marriage. Find your joy in the relationship itself. When the babies start coming, there will be less time and attention to give your husband. Step up and show maturity.
One year is too too early to start fretting. Calm down.find time and have a good talk with hi. In a p,ace yoj can both not be distracted. Remember,this talk is not to rehash the past( be sure to tell him that- infact, own up that a lot has gone wrong and that yoj talk responsibility of your part in that ) but you want yoj both to do better and you believe that yoj both can.
Relax...you will get pregnant! All the. Est!!
Kisses
Delete#FLYGIRL
@ hanny your number 2 option u stated up there doesn't always work like dat. I was all dat $ more with hubby but if we have small ish, he'll report me. Plus he is a bloody womanizer. Molested my lil sis, fucks friends sis inlaws, friends gfs/exes. I've walked sha
DeleteThis Chronicle tire me
ReplyDeleteYou sef why you dey nag the poor man na...i no support you for this one oo
Please your marriage is still young, all these quarrels are uncalled for! Sit your husband down and quietly apologize for every bad thing you've ever done to him, he should apologize too then you guys can settle all this!
As for hitting you, that was very bad of him and he should be made to understand never to try such again! If he tries it again...give him space!
Also go to a good hospital and run some serious tests to know what is truly wrong with your womb! Pray to God too, you guys will carry your babies in no time
What are you blabbing about?
DeleteYour miserable existence ma! Try and keep up idiot
DeleteMad gal dat couldn't listen to simple advice nag nag
DeleteOya divorce him 😂 better run for your dear life.
DeleteI am not yet married oo. Make married people help you out here
ReplyDeleteyou're right about one thing.YOU MARRIED AN OVER GROWN BABY!!
DeleteMay God heal your home
ReplyDeleteMen that cry easily are mostly psychos. Poster I think you should go to good hospital first and have yourself checked and pls be the matured person, call your inlaws let them hear your side of the story...
ReplyDeletePoster, go and see a qualified gyneacologist and stop taking drugs you know nothing about.
ReplyDeleteYour marriage is still very young and you're already TTC (ing)!
Please, take good care of yourself first, you have to be healthy to carry a healthy baby.
As for your husband, I think both of you need a heart to heart talk, he seems like a child that's not matured enough to handle his matrimonial ish.
Your parents in-laws shouldn't be the one taking you to the hospital, and they must not know everything going on in your home.
Hian!...
ReplyDeletePoster
You took a medicine you know nothing about in this time and age?...
Oriegwu oh!...
You and your husband's spiritual partners want to destroy una marriage!...
I have advised young couple here before to always settle their spiritual partners before saying I do to avoid all these stories of childlessness,fighting etc in their marriages!...
Kwakwakwakwa.
DeleteChief!!!
Poster, u two have to work on ur marriage, try marriage counselling. For the infertility, listen up, cldnt make out how long you've both been trying, but go n see a good gynae either in a teaching Hospital o a renowned private hospital. Stop all medications especially herbals. Prepare ur mind for a myomectomy if fibroIds are th problem, so as to get pregnant asap. #e-hugs.
DeleteSMH
ReplyDeleteThey said single pringles shouldn't comment on married chronicles so I will pim my mouth.
Make I join u o
DeleteYou will be settled soon and I'm very confident you will make a success of it.
DeleteWho said? Pls darling go ahead and say what you have to say. I've always even thought you were married. Your comments are mature and intelligent. Whoever marries you will be a blessed man. Meanwhile, send me your email, u askd me to check it out on ur profile the other day but I didn't see it
DeleteJasmine 😆😆😆
DeleteAnon 16:50, awww thank you for your kind words.
Anon 17:17, I'm honored. Please it's there. Click on email me and voila. I can't drop my email here, it won't be approved. Thank you
Doppelganger are you to sell market here?
Delete@anon 19:16 even if I am selling anything, you won't be able to afford me. Please scram.
DeleteBoth of you are temperamental!
ReplyDeleteU guys have to chill men, sort out ur issues without involving a third party!
But its her husband who is involving third parties
DeleteBy the way, what is it about almost every young woman having fibroids? What's the cause, I am asking out of curiosity and ignorance.
ReplyDeleteIs it caused by some things they consume, environments or gene?
I pray healing on all the women with fibroids illness.
Too much Eba at night
DeleteThe day after I had my 1st son, doctors said I had fibroid but it hadn't developed. That I should watch what I eat so it won't grow. This was 2010. I've had 2 others since and it still hasn't troubled me. Thank God
DeleteI learnt most people who have fibroids are ladies who didn't sleep around, and also didn't marry on time. I don't know how far this is true. Not a medical personnel and so I can't say it is correct.
DeleteI had fibroids and they were 12./And I know I didn't play around. I married at the right time not at the time everyone thought I would. And no I wasn't a gwegs was waiting for God's time.
Yes anon 16:40, late childbirth is a risk factor because of excess oestrogen without progesterone to counter it. Progesterone is produced in pregnancy. When we were taught fibroids in school,our consultant will say "Good girls get fibroids, bad girls get pikin"
DeleteAnon 16:40, I was 23 when I had him so I can't say age is the ish
Deletehmmmm. why is it that women are blamed for delay in pregnancy in marriages?
ReplyDeletethe couple are supposed to be united not quarreling and subjecting the woman to several things(abuse).
**angry
Ur stupid..This modern age of easy information..I stopped readng wen u said u went to the hospital...Why in d hell will u take drugs u know nothng about...I no dy advice u !! Na u carry urself put for trouble
ReplyDeleteI wonder. When google is a click away. Even without google, all medication have pamphlets that give the details of the drug like side effects, what its for etc
DeleteYou are more stupid. Why are you insulting her as if you're any better. She doesn't need your silly advice, stuff it down your hungry stomach. I bet you're single and frustrated, do you know the pains and emotional trauma that comes with TTC.if they ask you to drink urine, you wil. Someone brought her problem here and instead of advising her, you're running your mouth like a leaking faucet. Take this L ode oshi.
Delete👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍👍
DeleteMadam. U never mention that ur hubby is cheating despite everything but u still hv the temerity to go through his phone and FB chats.
ReplyDeleteU r just lucky ur hubby is a very weak man that cannot take charge of his home. When I marry, if my wife that try that rubbish I will send her + belongings back to her papa house in less 24 hrs.They did a poor job in raising her.
I pity you and whosoever is your girlfriend
Deletepeacemaker, your parents did the world a disservice copulating on dt particular day and ending up bringing to this world and becoming a pain in the a**es of your fellow bvs.
DeleteYour hubby is an author of confusion. He seems unstable. Please you guys should try to make things work. Talk to your hubby, it's God that gives children. Fibroids can be removed. Visit a gynecologist or go to a teaching hospital.
ReplyDeleteI like your honesty, I like the sincerity in your post.
ReplyDeleteWell, ttcing comes with a lot of emotional,physical,mental stress if couples don't handle it maturedly
I did something with an ex that healed our relationship (even though i moved on later when a bigger issue arose).
When you both are in a relaxed mood, give him a sheet of paper to write the things he doesn't like about you and you do same.Talk about those things you don't like in each other.See if you can meet yourselves halfway.
There is a place of compromise, There is a place of PRAYER.
I pray God restores joy into your home, I pray God perfects you and give you the joy of motherhood.If the fibroid is in a position that won't allow a baby grow then remove it.
**E-Hugs***
💋💋💋💋💋💋💋
DeleteYour marriage is too young for this frantic,unguided fights because of a baby.
ReplyDeleteYou should never have taken those drugs woman,how can you even mix English drugs with native drugs? Do you want to complicate issues? Your parents in law practically forced you to that hospital,but no one forced the drugs down your throat.
We have already established that your husband cannot stay without running to his people to cry.
It is up to you to quickly realize the kind of person you married and make that marriage work!
Yes,both of you need to see to it that you don't run to the courts at this point.
Forget what you read on Facebook.
Forget what the parents did or didn't do.
Focus on that man and make him see reasons why you can't be a puppet in their hands.
Secondly both of you must reach an agreement on what you need third parties to know in your marriage. These are actually things resolved during courtship.
If you feel genuinely that at a point in this whole issue you erred(I wasn't there)take the lead an apologize.. then quickly let him know that he can never push you,shove you or even playfully tell you to go pack your bags.
Lastly,go to the hospital for thorough tests and checks.
Eat healthy,excercise.. shut the negative voices of the in laws out from your head so you don't get anxious.
You will be fine✌️️
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI am a man, but honestly I hate when women can't stand their ground in their husbands houses.
ReplyDeleteI hate it when women allow their father and mother in laws dictate to them. Its so annoyin reading all these almost everyday like you people are not getting wiser..
And I hate men who allow their parents to interfer in their marriages and dictating for them.
Sissies everywhere...
How would you stand up to your in-laws when your husband is the one fanning their egos and feeding them with all the infos without even supporting you? God knows that I can't even take such rubbish... All these happen bcos we (ladies)really need to get married maybe because we aren't getting any younger any more thereby ignoring all signs that are there while courting. No matter what I can NEVER tolerate such!
DeleteI tell you. Sissies indeed
DeleteR u married? I like u already
DeleteMommy's boy character don't hide in relationship. Why did u marry him? Abi did u want to change him, or u taught u could change him abi?
ReplyDeleteThe family hates u and they want u dead.
Go to another hospital and run more tests
Pls u got married to a baby boy....
ReplyDeleteI did not marry My Ex becos he refuses to grow up..
My Dear you are making life difficult for yourself..Yes your husband may have his fault but still you are setting fire in your home..Both of you are acting like kids...you are trying to conceive and both of you are at loggerheads , how will it happen...You said you were nagging on your husband which is totally wrong..drugs were given to you and u didnt ask your sister or any pharmacist around before taking it and since then did u go to the hospital and explain to your doctor on what transpired?? Please take things easy cause you have not conceived doesnt mean that you hurt your loved ones..Both of you are in this and takes courage, determination and maturity in order for you to weather the storm..Both of you should see a therapist and have a fighting spirit and stop using the word divorce anyhow..ahn ahn abeg jare..
ReplyDeleteThis is just sad. I'm really sorry dear poster.
ReplyDeleteHnmmmm It is well
ReplyDeleteYour hubby is acting like a child, but be patient and leave it to God in prayer
DeleteYou might have married a child poster but IMO you are also a child. What ever happened to self control? I am not in support of what your inlaws are doing to you but why did you have to reply your sis in law? And I can bet you lambasted her in the reply.
ReplyDeleteYou better sit down and face your marriage. You saw the signs before you married him except if it was absentia marriage you did. If your hubby is acting childish why don't you grow up and show him the way. Call a family meeting maybe and thrash it out.
I think you are a proud person, so my advice is for you to bury your pride and go pray for your marriage and most importantly stop venting your frustration on TTC on the poor man. Maybe he couldn't handle it hence the reason for the display. Also build your rapport with your inlaws, call them and say hello. If your hubby dosent allow you to come for family functions I am sure if you have a good rapport with your inlaws they would be the one dragging you sef.
So dear poster, first work on yourself before complaining about another.
1million likes
DeleteThank you
DeleteStella has said it all, you married a child. Kudos to men who always stand up for their wives who are ttc.
ReplyDeleteOlu babes, I saw your real face on facebook the other day. Happy new year
DeleteThe Lord is your strength poster long live SDK
ReplyDeleteThese two are kids really. How old are you my darling? Anyway, I don't even know what concrete advice to give you. Your husband is a child, clearly, but you aren't or didn't gel matters. I hope you two sort things out. Counseling maybe? Learn to build your own family, not your parents families, or your extended family families. YOUR OWN FAMILY! Try talking to him again. You are a female, use your female charms, let him see where you are coming from, if you two are trying to start a family, it's your egg and his sperm, not y'alls parents. You two should go for your tests together, talk to each other, focus on each other. Your marriage is too young, and marriages in the first few years are the hardest(different from dating) understanding and communication is key. I wish you the best my darling.
ReplyDeleteReal adult babies
DeletePoster, welcome to my world. The following you wrote aptly sums it up
ReplyDeleteOn Wednesday, I was going through his facebook and saw the chat with his younger sister who is my age mate and she was saying all manner of things. I had to reply her and since then, hubby and I are as good a divorced.
The only difference is mine is always via email, whatsapp and phone calls and I don't even bother replying her.
This is a little disjointed, make I read comments
ReplyDeleteAll these issues and the marriage isn't up to a year! You and your hubby were putting the cart before the horse. 11 months to your wedding and you're visiting any doctor and taking drugs without asking proper questions. Am sure na all those drugs no make you conceive. The both of you need to calm the fuck down and work hand in hand to solve your marital woes. Stop calling family members into every disagreement. Call your hubby, sit him down and talk about everything that's wrong with your marriage.
ReplyDeleteNot your fault. If the marriage cant be redeemed please pack your belongings and move out. The early the better. Don't let that man and his family ruin you. How can his fam take you for fertility test and he kept quite? Enough said
ReplyDeletePoster,you are nothing but immature to build a marriage.you are a child.
ReplyDeleteInstead of you to live and take charge of your home,you sent this mail.what are we suppose to do? Scold your husband or your in-laws who did not wrong you.
Please,if you value your man or love him .Get hold of yourself and makeup with your husband.Keep external influence away from your marriage. it's too early for all these petty drama.you are stubborn from your story and spoilt girl.
Married baby.
Cry cry children
ReplyDeleteIf this is true, the only fault I see is that you should have cautioned them at the beginning cos of not asking for your consent before taking you to the hospital and also the kind of hospital they took you to. Also why did you start taking the medication from such a hospital with all the red flags you saw...
ReplyDeleteIn all you have said, I haven't seen where you went on your knees to pray.
ReplyDeleteMy dear your husband is frustrated, and his family isint making it any better.
Please calm down.
Frustrated over what?? A man who cries because his wife hasn't had a kid in under one year of marriage. Explain to me what is frustrating him? What exactly??!!!
DeleteAnd who asked you to reply his messages to his sister you this poster?? Adding fuel to fire
My dear all this inlaws en I don tire for them. Like seriously why won't they allow a grown up man to just live his life. My dear I miss my ex fiancé family seriously his mum is made from heaven and his dad. Just that their son went to Impregnant a girl in the UK and was Stocked with her their oooo unto paper things. But my current fiance his people are pain in the ass, they want to control him saying my eyes are too open for their son, my people the story long his sisters will not just allow me rest I wear cloth them dey vex no be say na their brother money, cos i'm doing well for myself, I fix hair na so them go they vex. Them say me I dey use my money they take care of my family members lol and not them. This people don't know if they want me to make money then come and give them account of how much I made. I'm just tired ooo. Even thinking of just traveling out of this country so I can have peace of mind.
ReplyDeleteCry cry children
ReplyDeleteProgynon is not just for menopause it could also be used to treat people with irregular menstrual cycle. I used to have irregular periods and I was treated with that, the only side effect being that it doubled the size of my breast and gave me acne but it solved my problem.
ReplyDeleteMadam, please choose your battle!
It is obvious the devil is trying to destabilise your marriage, please don't let him succeed. The time you will use to snoop, use it and Google for solutions to your problem. Go into prayers, there is nothing God cannot do.
Forgive your husband and give him peace (or for your own peace) how will you conceive, if you stay fighting like cat and dog, over silly things?
Please pray for your marriage, pray for your husband, prophesy to your uterus, command that fibroid. Let there be fire in your prayer life, and let the devil be put to shame. It doesn't matter who is wrong or right, please it doesn't count. forgive your husband and forgive yourself
You did nothing visibly wrong.
ReplyDeleteHowever, you need to learn how to control your emotions, the best you can and try not to OVERREACT to situations.
I could sense that with all the aura of worry,moodiness and anxiety with your TTC state, nagging,bashing your car, terrible body language i bet you gave when you felt ambushed by your inlaws and then replying a private chat between siblings...come on!
Girl, i know you are stressed but please...BREATHE!!!
Yes, i agree your hubby is a baby, his loyalty is to his family and he is easy to manipulate and all. But girl, you can make him your baby and set him on the path to the kind of man you want to do forever with. Trust me, you wouldn't like to hear this, but it is a slight blessing a baby is not in the equation yet.
You guys have issues with communication, proper bonding, playing team to really create an atmosphere for a baby and the rest of your marriage to thrive.
Read your story again, it's quite an eyesore. You have killed your mystery and opened the curtain for anyone to have a stronghold on your marriage. Your hubby loves you and i still think there is hope for your marriage.
You weren't mentally ready to be a wife, and your hubby has no clue how to be a husband, do the leave and cleave thingy... two babies playing couple,of course, you two would get burnt.
You want your marriage back not for us to tell you what your fault is. Your fault is clearly ignorance, from your choice of spouse, to wasting your courtship period, overreacting, behaving like a stark illiterate about your fertility ish and finally exposing how little your influence is over your husband. Now you know you have your work cut out for you.
You might need to seperate temporarily, mutual agreement not you packing your bag and taking it off lije that. This is going to be risky coz, a new wife might come take your place but it would also hep you t destressify and assess the weakness and strength of your hubby, how far he can be bent bupy his family and if he still needs his marriage.
Am new here..U all shuld welcome me
ReplyDeleteAll I saw was cry... cry.... cry..... cry.... Jeez! Are you guys serious? All this one for what? And how can you take herbal and prescription medicine at once?? Madam are you educated at all? That's a NO NO in medical science!!! Even if they gave you must you take? You didn't google the drugs? Na wa!! Let me just leave here because I can't even shout this new year.
ReplyDeleteLet me just say to some of you married men and women on this blog. Some of these stories you send are distasteful. Yes we have chronicles of married people going through real issues - like the DV chronicle yesterday . But some of these childish chronicles are very not-it. For those of you running into marriage as if there's a spiritual cane chasing you better sit up and tighten your belt and make sure you're ready. Not to come and be shouting how chikito is single. What sort of nonsense do you people think marriage is? Child's play? An adult who takes herbal and prescription drugs together without even googling what it is? Do you want to kill your self? All cos you haven't birthed in 11 months?? Abeg you married people should up your game this year and start being responsible!! You fell and bled and he still strangled you. I feel like I'm listening to one side of a high school cat fight between two teenage girls.
Hahahahahahaha...
DeleteChikito Chikito!!!!!!...
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteI weak on top her narrative...
DeleteBaby couple.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 "Shildren"lolz
I weak on top her narrative...
DeleteBaby couple.
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 "Shildren"lolz
You never born and you dey hold ground with everybody like this because you get faceless blog advisers to run to. You that is an adult, why not go and settle your marriage? See, please don't go back to that woman beater, let him rot away. He deserves a fertile woman. #mtcheew
ReplyDeleteLol, my Dear I pray u don't find urself in my place. Good luck
DeleteWhy are Nigerian couples of nowadays so silly and ignorant??? Only 11months in and u are stressing about not being pregnant already?? The stress sef won't let d baby catch for crying out loud!
ReplyDeleteWork on ur marriage, ur temperance and pray about ur childish husband abeg!
Shalom!!
You need God to direct your steps, I wonder why marriages fail so early
ReplyDeleteYour situation is redeemable, however if this marriage is to continue. You will be going on with it with some level of dignity and most importantly, self respect to go on.
ReplyDeleteThis family have thoroughly seen you finish,and if you just go along probably if he comes to cry and talk about another chance to work it out, you will have no mouth in your marriage again.
Let him miss you and need his marriage back, by which you can go in with new strategies and new foundation to get it right or he gets another lady pregnant,you divorce and you get another chance to do it right with someone else. .Either way, you choose to be a winner if you wish.
Let him know you need to leave for a while, so you two don't snap and all. Make it known that it doesn't mean you two are over and you really have not given up hope. Let your parents or mutual friends be present for this, they need to know you are leaving the door open and it is in his hands to make it better or mess it up entirely henceforth.
Go do something with yur life, you have managed to define yourself by your womb. Get serious at work and get your ass to a good medical facility, teaching hospital preferably.
Get a thorough gynae check up. You are educated, what the hell were you swallowing herbs for? For the fibroid, get it removed, less than an hour surgery and new lease of life that is all, it is not death sentence.
Rededicate your marriage into God's hand, pray for its healing and for God's will to be done. Pray against the undue influence of his family and a brand new marriage-oriented husband.
Get beautiful again, shake off the gloomy aura around you.
If this marriage comes back on, you need to tell your hubby how you want things to go on from now. Do not insult his parents or siblings while you talk,he will vomit all to them. Be diplomatc,respectful but be straight forward,do not hide your pain and misgivings. Cool words and calm attitude will change things for you here.
He also needs a thorough check up as well, fertility issues is now 50:50. Consider your options and be smart about your decision. As much as you get assertive if you guys go back, be careful how you talk about his family and how you put down yours in his presence. He will be weaned off mouthing everything to his family by redirecting his loyalty to you. That will need your maturity and God's intervention and time... so be patient there.
But if he impregnates anyone when you leave, please divorce him. You cant do meddling inlaws, immature husband and near polygamous drama...you will die young. This is the "for worse" part come too early though. If you two handle this well, it will go snoothly.
Also, do not rule out counselling, try it as well. A matured third opinion can help put things in perspective.
Pray, live, laugh...it is well with you.
I will put you in my prayers tonight...relax okay.
Happy New Year Everyone!!!
Happy new year Empress Cho💕💕💕💕
DeleteMy dear, no need to divorce him, just report him to awon iyalaya, they will straighten him out for you and your marriage will be so sweet, it never fails, I tell women they must be in spiritual control of their homes, it is not by answering MRS alone, men have to be spiritually disciplined. He will dance to your tune till you grow old and die, he will also be very successful and you will be the better for it, you must REPORT him or else no peace for you, shioooooor. You better secure your seat in that marriage.
ReplyDeleteThis is what I'm talking about!...
DeleteI'm happy to see someone that knows what's up like me here!...
Chop kiss mehn!...
You are a correct somebody!...
Marriage is no child play o, when it comes to your father and mother in law, you should always inform your parents so that they will use wisdom to talk to them(thank God that they are alive)
ReplyDeleteAs for your hubby, I will advice you to imbibe the spirit of meekness, stop giving him hot for hot, he shouted at you and you shout at him back. U can tell him later that I don't like the way shout at me, I'm sure he might apologize.
There is no perfect man, if you divorce him, do you think t next man will be better?
You guys should just be patient with each other.
Also the mother in law, I'm sure she is doing it from a good place from her heart. She wants to see her grandchildren. Whenever she want to take you out, tell her u are on another treatment.
Wake ur hubby up during the midnight, tell him how much u love him, that you want your marriage to work. That he should stop telling third parties everything that goes on in ur marriage.
Lastly, try and explain what is happening in your marriage to your pastor, I'm sure he will advice and mentor your hubby. Wishing u luck.
Two kids married to each other. Seems your parents arranged the marriage for you both.
ReplyDeletena wa o,which kind horseband be this na
ReplyDeleteYou identified your faults; your foul mouth; work on it.
ReplyDeleteYou are a graduate; right? And a supposed medical doctor gave you herbs and you began taking it; daft?
One of the main causes of infertility medically and spiritually; is abortions (killing of unborn babies, shedding of innocent blood; see Exodus 1:20, Proverbs 6:16-17). You did not tell us how involved you were; did you?
You are not divorced yet; it can still be worked out; can't it?
Humble yourself before God and fast and pray that your marriage be healed.
Yinmu...
DeleteI did several abortions when I was single and I have never for one day have any infertility issues!...
I know someone that got married as a virgin but has been TTC for 7 years now...
What do you have to say about that?...
No wonder you are the way you are. How market for that thing you call marriage. You mean to say you wedded?
DeletePoster your husband is a baby, mum and dad's boy, he need to grow up, you need love and patient to teach him on how to handle your family matters, never you reply any chat with his sibilings or anybody, you can snoop but make sure he does not catch you, read and cover face as If you did not see anything, your husband sold you out to his family, most families that are ttc do not take it easy with the woman, you need to be closer to God and your husband, try and talk things over with him, you are not d worse woman on earth with issues, cheer up and make your marriage work.
ReplyDeletePoster, you do not sound like a well behaved girl. You have found fault with doctor, doctor's assistant, hospital environment, sister-in-law, husband, parents-in-law ..., haba! girl, you are not wife material enough. You were waiting for your husband's parents to call you, right? Again, Your sister-in-law whether your age mate or not, is 100% your senior and MUST be respected - ask your parents about African tradition on seniority when it comes to In-laws. And to think you even replied her when you saw what she discussed with your husband - her brother about you. My dear, you are not set for marriage. You sound disrespectful, immature and opinionated. Sorry, your type can never keep a marriage or home. If u have a divorce, please know that you're the cause. Work on your attitude. Nagging brat! Go back to your parents for good home training. I am a mature lady for your info.
ReplyDeletePoster, you do not sound like a well behaved girl. You have found fault with doctor, doctor's assistant, hospital environment, sister-in-law, husband, parents-in-law ..., haba! girl, you are not wife material enough. You were waiting for your husband's parents to call you, right? Again, Your sister-in-law whether your age mate or not, is 100% your senior and MUST be respected - ask your parents about African tradition on seniority when it comes to In-laws. And to think you even replied her when you saw what she discussed with your husband - her brother about you. My dear, you are not set for marriage. You sound disrespectful, immature and opinionated. Sorry, your type can never keep a marriage or home. If u have a divorce, please know that you're the cause. Work on your attitude. Nagging brat! Go back to your parents for good home training. I am a mature lady for your info.
ReplyDeleteAhan!im someone who observes things madam mature. I pray you do not find urself in my place. People like you won't even want to enter the clinic cos the place on its own is an eyesore. The only reply I replied my sister inlaw was to ask her if we had any quarrel? Y she can't tell me to my face so we resolve it. And just so you know, my hubby made me apologize to all his siblings one after the other under the guise that I have hurt his family. In all honesty, I didn't call any of them to insult them or whatever. Anyways, y am I even explaining myself to U????
DeleteYour husband is looking for an excuse to leave you. All those cry cry are tactics. He cannot just leave like that so he is reporting you to his people and your people so when he leaves, he would have the full support of his people and half support of your people then he will feel at ease .
ReplyDeleteWhat to do? Do not give him any reason to take such decision. Return his word of anger with love, continue to respect his parents and keep praying. That would make him weak.
By the way, did you confirm it was the brother that got married to that girl or is it your husband?
The devil comes to steal, kill and to destroy. It is time for you to stop it now. Clean your tears, pray until something happens. If you have unbelief that nothing would happen, then fast and read the word of God until your unbelief goes. Then keep praying. God will double it for you .
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Thanks Dear
DeleteYou have a point xoxo. How sure are you that he didn't marry someone else and is claiming his brother did. Poster shine your eyes
DeleteBoth of you sound like children.
ReplyDeleteHow does one reason with a child?