STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....
CONFUSED AND AT A CROSS ROAD OVER BAE
Good day dear, honestly you have been helping a lot of people with your blog. God make you bigger! Amen.
I will be brief with my story...
I'll be 31yrs by May this year and my girlfriend will be 25yrs by August. I met her when I was doing my masters programme in 2013, to be honest she's everything a man will want in a woman.
Good day dear, honestly you have been helping a lot of people with your blog. God make you bigger! Amen.
I will be brief with my story...
I'll be 31yrs by May this year and my girlfriend will be 25yrs by August. I met her when I was doing my masters programme in 2013, to be honest she's everything a man will want in a woman.
I had nothing then but she stood by me till I finished my masters in 2014. Then she was a per-time student, I registered her in a fashion school and bought a sewing machine for her... Because I have focus n I believe in her. She's doing well in it now... Our problem started last two years because I told her to wait for me... I truthfully n honestly love her. She said she has no problem in waiting for me but she wouldn't want to stay at home after graduation.
She graduated last year and she started putting pressure on me. Though her parents stays in the village n she's avoiding staying there. I was hopeful that after her graduation I will settle with her. The issue is that I am yet to secure a good job,am a good hustler but no steady income. I am still staying in one room self-con. I am hopeful that this year will favour me, I am getting positive responses from the places I tendered my CV.
Another issue is that my dad said I will not marry until we complete our house in the village(my dad demolished our former house with the intention of building another house that's more presentable for us. The house-building is in progress now but not at a faster rate.
My parents are pensioners and I am the first son). That brought so much argument at home but I had to respect my dad. I came back to my base, called my girlfriend, discussed with her n she's insisted she wants to settle down this year... I have been trying to make her see reasons with me, I told her the house will be completed this year that she should hold on a little but she's so adamant.
She told me this week that she have three suitors coming for her already that if I give her go ahead, she won't mind settling with one of them. I must say this she's very truthful, she hasn't done anything wrong to me, we love each other.. The problem according to her is that she doesn't want to stay at the village for anything and she can't be operating from there, her sewing is paused because of her current location...
She can't possibly live with me... Please, am so scattered and confuse about the whole scenario... Should I allow her go or should I keep convincing her to wait??? Please lovely people help a brother... Thanks.
*Please let her go if she cannot wait for you....you dont need this stress at all.
Poster free the babe now...
ReplyDeleteYou don't expect her to be waiting for you cos her time is ticking!...
Go and make money and leave marriage for now!...
You are still humble with her because you are a broke ass!...
After wasting her time and make money,you will dump her and marry a younger babe!...
Mtchheeewww...
👏👏👏👌👌👌
DeleteAbeg let her go..if she's yours she'll come back..why is she in such a hurry mtchewww
DeleteYour biggest excuse is your father's house
DeletePlease don't waste that girl's time
So if you don't finish the house in three years she should keep waiting, she put her career on hold for you and your putting your father's house as an obstacle
All these broke man wanting to get married. GOD will punish you!
DeleteGod abeg ooo, shuoooo. Why all this smelling mukites dem dey run the bros down na. Horr
DeleteGuy just make her see reasons, even as you broke you done still try package her small. Make she pin down small.
but is she say no, omo boi free the shenkes.. make she kala her mamu (make she find her way )
Hian!
ReplyDeleteWhy are some girls so desperate?
If you marry her now but won't be able to feed her well.. she'll start complaining right?
You are a very reasonable young man, so i'll tell you this. Don't let anyone or anything(love) push you into doing somethin you know is wrong! If she cant wait for you please let her go
Find a job first! Make investments and then find a good woman to marry
What kind of love does she have for you if she can't wait? Please someone that loves you won't be asking your permission to accept other men's proposal.
ReplyDeleteOf course, she is a lady and men will come for she doesn't need to announce it to you.
About your family, I don't see how building a house affects your own life. Are you planning to move in with your wife when you marry or what exactly and how does it come in in this case.
The truth is you are not buoyant enough so don't use it as an excuse. Focus on building your career and leave woman matter alone.
Anyway, you're here because of your family. Talk to her once more and try to see if she'd see reasons with you about giving you time and if she doesn't then let her go.
Don't beat yourself up too much, she probably isn't the one for you and God is already showing you the signs.
The woman that is yours will be yours you won't need to force her to stay.
Well I wonder why everyone is going on and on about money, what is wrong with marrying a man without money? Since when did marriage become a poverty eradication program? What happened to your own money as a woman? What happened to growing together and starting from a single room? I digress.
DeleteYoung man pls tell your girl that if she loves you, she should wait. Uou don't need to be a rich man before you marry. Having a steady source of income is all that matters.
Secondly wetin be your papa own na? Maybe he is afraid that when you marry you won't have enough to complete his house as well as care for your family.
Set a time frame, tell her to go if she can't wait. At 25, I wonder what is pursuing her.
So unfair of your father and your girl. U must be a good guy but u deserve none of this.
DeletePs she is very young but I think when two people love each other they thrive to make it through thick and thin. BTW this is not supposed to be an issue. But since she's in such a hurry give her some space to ps herself while u secure a job. Better girls full outside o! No dull ur sef con dey feel bad. E no reach.
Marjorie
Marjorie
Please let her go already. This kin demanding unreasonable and selfish woman. In years to come, she go kill you oh. She has other suitors? It's best she goes with them. Which kin threat be that. Even the disabled have suitors. Abeg. She is mean. Selfish and will not be able to handle your finances in future
ReplyDeletePlease let her go already. This kin demanding unreasonable and selfish woman. In years to come, she go kill you oh. She has other suitors? It's best she goes with them. Which kin threat be that. Even the disabled have suitors. Abeg. She is mean. Selfish and will not be able to handle your finances in future
ReplyDeleteHonestly dear,if she can't wait for a while please let her go .
ReplyDeleteBut if she can and you're sure to wife her at the end,why not press her the more. She must not stay with her parents in the village,you guys can plan on how to get a smaller place that she can be managing for the main time. Good luck!
Let her go. If it's yours, it will stay!
ReplyDeleteSo your gf wants to get married cos of location and not out of love? Wow! Please let her choose from one of her numerous suitors if she can't wait for you. That one reeks of desperation.
ReplyDeleteIf u can't convince her let her go jor
ReplyDeletePoster so the people on Amanda's page no give you advise reach? You go soon reach LIB too.
DeleteAnd hw does it affect u @pre pre ibik
DeletePrevious can you imagine that I read this few days ago on Amanda's page on Facebook and here he is ranting again. Mr poster or daddy's boy please free the girl if this your story is not copied from movie.
DeleteYoung man, you sounds like someone with a good head on his shoulder! Don't pressurised her, let go if she insists she can wait for you.
ReplyDeleteI know good women are difficult to come by this days, but you mustn't force yourself on someone that does not care enough for you;because if she does, she would have been patients with you.
You have a bright future ahead of you, focus on yourself, get something better doing and every other thing will come along.
P.S,If you end things with her, make sure you erase every contacts of hers. Don't fall for "once dembe, always dembe" law.
Exactly Mrs R! Let her go!! She is clearly very clearly manipulative! Focus on the positive prospects first that's the priority.
DeleteSometimes the best option is to let go. Love is a beautiful thing; but if you give in to pressure and marry her when you are not ready, you'll be sending another chronicle soon.
ReplyDeleteThe Igbos say 'ifeoma di n'iru.' Focus on becoming who you wanna be and you'll see that the best is yet to come.
I beg free her
ReplyDeleteDon't waste her time
You want her to enter menopause while waiting for you okwaya?
You're one selfish person.
Later you tell her she's too old for you..thank she's several options.
No time to check time.
Are u being sarcastic?I'm a feminist but what u said doesn't just add up,would u advise ur bro to marry without being financially okay
DeleteComments like this just make me smh. This is the reason why we have a lot of marriage challenges. We are praying for God to reduce atleast the number of married prostitutes we have in this country. Imagine if this girl marries out of desperation..she will always look back to fuck her ex. Why cant she just hold on and marry someone she loves instead of getting into marriage with somone she doesnt love? Divorce will still be on the increase with this kind of desperation. And as for u, i actually thought you will have sense..seeing that God gave u a second chance the other day so u can repent and be sensible but no! You are bent on continuing with stupidity. Chai!
DeleteDumb princess,u lack decorum.
DeleteNo worries, you'll find another.
ReplyDeleteWhat is per-time tho?
Sad
ReplyDeleteshe is scared and unsecured... try to assure her that you will always be there for her... hope u Re not someone that is easily manipulated by ur parents, this one your dad is orderly you to first completing your village house before settling down when he is fully aware you don't have a steady means of income for now.. don't get me wrong I'm not against your wanting to complete the house but they too should look towards making you a better person... all the best
ReplyDeleteBrb
ReplyDeleteLeave her and make money jare...what doesn't kill you makes you stronger
ReplyDeleteSend her this link once the comments get to 100.
ReplyDeleteWrong advice Stella. Let her go if she cant wait for you? If she is everything, go for her. Leave your family and build yours. Your dad should not hold your destiny.
ReplyDeleteThis woman can change your destiny. She will be the one to move you from no job, one room to what yiu canr imagine.
My elder sibling was living in someones house (you even have a room). His childhood sweetheart was his, but marriage suitors started coming for her. Na so we shout, how can you feed her, where will you sleep, how can you both feed a baby? He insisted that if he looses her, there was no woman like her. Brother wedding na so o. Even ask how the money came, mmmh. Anyway, this girl/woman came with immense favor. God blessed them ehhhhhhhhhhh!Today you need to see
No kidding. At first they delayed kids to get on heir feet etc, but now......
If she is the one and unlike women today, wants you and will manage a single room......go for her. Even if it is only a small wedding, start your life together and grow. You mught never find another like her, especially when you make it and you are rich.
God bless you. Ask your dad to keep up with the house, you and your woman would help him.
What's this one saying 😕
DeleteGold, Your comment is the best one so far!!!
DeleteSend her the link to this chronicle, if she doesn't change her mind after reading what you wrote up there, then please let her go. Must it be marriage that will get her out of the village? What a crazy reason to get married. Will she marry the suitors without dating? She can come out to town, rent a room and start sewing there.
ReplyDeleteThrow a coin,Head(stay) or tail(go),pick one.
ReplyDeleteWhy are girls SO DESPERATE these days?! What the actual hell is going on? So after the elaborate wedding and the marriage comes in, she wants to wear a ring yet can't eat, clothe, next thing in this madness is to start pressuring you to get her pregnant. Please allow that girl to go with any man she chooses. There will always be other women.
ReplyDeleteAllow her to go so that she wont blame you in future.
ReplyDeleteStella don come again.
ReplyDeleteOgbeni, you are jobless and want a 25 year old woman to wait for you?
Haba mana!!
Why are men so heartless and selfish? Wait till when? When your father finishes building his alow motion house or when Oby Ezekwesili starts a BRING BACK OUR JOBS crusade?
Leave the girl to go better her life. And better yours.
If she waits till she is 30, you are the one that will start looking for a 23 year old later.
a very sensible comment. the guy wicked.
DeletePls o,the guy is not wicked. She is just 25 for Christ sake. I am over 30 and not married ,I never die. She shud wait for 1 year at least
DeleteI agree with you Stella.
ReplyDeleteGuy! Free her.
ReplyDeleteCan't she get work and find who to stay with? I wonder why she is impatient, when she can use that time to build herself up. It's easier to do that when single than when you are married or have a child to feed. I wish singles know how lucky they are to have the time to themselves.
ReplyDeleteDiscuss the issue plainly with her, not those 'baby, you know I love you' kind of discussions. You do not have money for a wedding now, if she can't see reasons, then part amicably.
For once I don't know what advice to give. My brother pray on it... But if you strongly feel she is the one don't miss her or you will be like Jamisi who is still crying over his long lost tall, fine fair Edo babe, lmao. But seriously if she is THE one don't loose her. I feel human beings are more important than houses.
ReplyDeleteY not an apartment for her in the city?
ReplyDeleteAkuko ndi owu ite *in queen's voice*
ReplyDeleteEyahh.... I come Pity you small. But if she can't wait you will put yourself under pressure trying to make it up to her. For God's sake she's 25 what's all this as if she's over 30?
ReplyDeleteOya get her a small self contain in a better town and let her explain to her parents that she needs to relocate for business purposes. With that she can get back to making clothes and then maybe she will be too busy to start complaining about status. Your 'situation' needs some adjustments and her timing (though with good reason) isn't the best. Your dad's house though *sigh*
But please if it doesn't work out let her be you hear? Don't force her. And force yourself. Everything happens for a reason.
Seems you are thinking with your pussy. Get her an apartment in the city, with which money ?
DeleteGuy, no listen to all these stupid women here o.
However painful it might be, let her go. You will find someone else when you are ready. Like Stella said, you don't need this stress at all.
ReplyDeleteIf it is about not staying in the village that is if she really love and care about you o and she can't stay with you as you said let her get a room too till next year since your priority for now is the house in the village but oga if you can't pay for a rent haa allow her go o if not you will continue to quarrel for the rest of the year and later part ways.
ReplyDeletePlease let her know she actually has 4 suitors. She should feel free to pick anyone of you. Last time I checked this year will end 31st December
ReplyDeleteIf a girl is pestering your life to marry as soon as she wants, she's probably seeing someone that is spending on her and she's knows you not ready so she will have an excuse to say you are the one not ready for marriage, look my guy, you don't need this stress at this stage of your life, if you marry her and you are not financially stable, she will still complain, cheat and make life miserable for you, as a guy no matter how ugly you are, if you are financially ok will marry any girl you want, so just let her carry her wahala go, which I know it's going to be hard but that's just the best.
ReplyDeleteIf a girl is pestering your life to marry as soon as she wants, she's probably seeing someone that is spending on her and she's knows you not ready so she will have an excuse to say you are the one not ready for marriage, look my guy, you don't need this stress at this stage of your life, if you marry her and you are not financially stable, she will still complain, cheat and make life miserable for you, as a guy no matter how ugly you are, if you are financially ok will marry any girl you want, so just let her carry her wahala go, which I know it's going to be hard but that's just the best.
ReplyDeleteIf a girl is pestering your life to marry as soon as she wants, she's probably seeing someone that is spending on her and she's knows you not ready so she will have an excuse to say you are the one not ready for marriage, look my guy, you don't need this stress at this stage of your life, if you marry her and you are not financially stable, she will still complain, cheat and make life miserable for you, as a guy no matter how ugly you are, if you are financially ok will marry any girl you want, so just let her carry her wahala go, which I know it's going to be hard but that's just the best.
ReplyDeleteOK guy, this is very stressful.
ReplyDeleteLet her be, it's a complicated relationship, she's desperate to settle down. Stop convincing her.
Like seriously? she doesn't want to go back to the village, whose fault is that? Ndi nmadu self.
At 25 where is she running to. Please let her go. Toba they will come and start writing chronicles up and down without telling us they married for all the wrong reasons in the world. Them dey tell una say marriage no b beans or bread mba i must put my head inside first and see for myself. Take your time and you both should establish yourself well mba. Your existence must be validated by marriage. Poster please leave her, let her go.
ReplyDeleteHelp me and spread the word!! Marriage marriage.... even and it's not called for
DeleteI have read this story before.
ReplyDeletePlease free her since you are not ready and you don't even know when you ll be ready.
ReplyDeletelet her go I know is not an easy task ,but u might just find what u thought other women don't HV,if u marry her now without job u will b frustrated not happy.@ miss h
ReplyDeletePls let her go, painful as it is, u will get someone else
ReplyDeleteStella it's not as simple as that. I think you should at least initiate the marriage process like have the formal introduction if you're serious about marrying her.that will calm her down a bit.you two had plans together and now hers is paused and she is wasting in the village and that is not easy oh.imagine all the side eyes she will be getting from village amebo.suggest workable plan on how she can keep busy and be productive while she waits.
ReplyDeleteI'm telling you! I agree with u Mrs Stella. She Wantu just run away from the village. In a bid to run away from the village, I hope she doesn't run into a marriage that she will regret for the rest of her life.
ReplyDeletebrother, the matter is simple...let her go...i know it aint easy but trust me you will get better. same with her too...so just let her go okay?...you dont need this unnecessary stress...be anxious for nothing....let her go.that way you are happy and she is happy as well..
ReplyDeleteIf people don't want to stay in your life, let them go. Focus on your life and channel the pain you are feeling to your career. Men, stop paying school fees or setting up a business for a woman other than your wife (don't take up the responsibility of her parents or guardian in the name of love). Most women are naturally selfish and their decisions will not reflect your past good deeds but only what will favour them.
ReplyDeleteSimple truth.
DeleteLove is giving my dear.
DeleteYour existence is valid. Thank you
Delete@ Queen of England: you are absolutely right that love is giving. I can give you gifts or holiday package to different parts of the world but will never be in charge of a woman's feeding, clothing, shelter and education until she becomes my wife. I am not ready to plant a vineyard for another man's enjoyment.
DeleteI think if u love her DAT much, u wouldn't let her go! U will such damb all consequences!
ReplyDeleteDats love speaking, not mouth talking!
On a reasonable note!
Y CNT u guys just do 'court' n manage d one room till things improve then u do d trad n wedding?
Just a suggestion doh!
so because you bought her machine now you want her to wait for your family house to complete this year and start another hustling to gather money for wedding ceremony. if you truly love her let her go and don't an enemy of progress you hear?
ReplyDeleteby the way what is per-time???😔😔😔
Your comment just bagged the stupidity award of this blog.
Deleteabeg flush!!!
DeletePoster you could just do introduction and then a court wedding nothing elaborate, then when you are settled you could give her,her dream wedding.
ReplyDeleteMy guy, I was in the same very situation that you are in now but the difference is my woman never threatened me with 'there are other suitors' if she did I wouldn't have hesitated to let her go. First and famous her action shows she can marry not for love but for marrying sake and secondly this confirms that she has been seeing other guys because how did the discussion get to I will marry you levels. Let her go she is not meant for you, you are only loving yourself, if you become broke that is the kind of woman that would abandon you or start sleeping around for money. Don't be put under stress
ReplyDeleteMy dear friend, if your girlfriend bent on leaving, why don't you let her go in peace ? It's not gonna be easy but you have to let her go, that's it.
ReplyDeleteStay focus and try to be a successful man in your choosen career. But na wah for your parents o, so if the house in the village is not completed in five years, you not gonna marry ?
That's a selfish decision from your parents. My opinion*
Poster let d girl go! If she's not ready to be considerate, abeg free her jor! U must mk sure u finish dat ur parents house o! Let her go and marry all d oda suitors on her case! D girl di very stupid! Wat nonsense?y is she bn very egocentric?if u end up marrying dat girl she wd just ruin u!u seeing d signs now!just let her go! God wld give u ur own woman ok?goodluck!
ReplyDeletePoster let d girl go! If she's not ready to be considerate, abeg free her jor! U must mk sure u finish dat ur parents house o! Let her go and marry all d oda suitors on her case! D girl di very stupid! Wat nonsense?y is she bn very egocentric?if u end up marrying dat girl she wd just ruin u!u seeing d signs now!just let her go! God wld give u ur own woman ok?goodluck!
ReplyDeleteHe is broke and loyal. #noneofmybusinesstho!.
ReplyDeleteBut that your family house problem tho... The girl has tried cause you men are very funny, she can like to wait then you'll say you don't want her again. This your story doesn't even sound truthful at all, you want her to wait till when biko..... That's how she will wait now and you'll bring up another excuse.. Stop being selfish biko
ReplyDeleteIs it a race? Is he the only man on earth? Everyone gets disappointed in love at some point or another. If he doesn't marry her, another man will. A man should marry you of his own will, when he's confident in his abilities to provide as the head of the home that he IS. Stop pressuring men into marriage! Even if he loves you, it's emotional blackmail! Stop it!
DeleteYou can have a final discussion with her, that is if she can have a little patient with you, but I don't think the house matter should be the main problem here.
ReplyDelete#Let them miss you. Sometimes when you're always available they take you for granted because they think you'll always stay*
ReplyDeleteFrank you're kool, don't mind the naysayers on your case... keep it up!
DeletePoster, if you two really love each other like you claim, if she leaves to marry someone else, she will come back and cheat with you and you two will start messing up the lives of your spouses or partners.
If you really want to make it work, do court wedding and let her move in with you. Keep hustling for jobs and let her resume her tailoring job. Her job and your little hustle should keep you both afloat until you get a stable job. If she's not willing to do this and grow with you, then maybe you're not as in love as you think.
As for the house thing, i don't see why such a pressure should be on you, that's something you need to take up with your dad.
Stella i don't agree with you. Poster: you can't possibly blame her,you want her to wait till you complete the building project, how long will that take? If it takes the next 2 years,you expect her to wait till them? And men like you end up breaking up after girls have spent thier years waiting and waiting. If you aren't ready, let her go, don't make her wait unnecessarily. Going back to stay in the village isn't an option for her. If she was your sister,what will you advise her to do? Life gets simpler when we put our loved ones in other people's situation.
ReplyDeleteAbi ooo. After a certain time suitors may stop coming and you may change your mind, then what would she do?
DeleteYou are both not ready to marry at this stage in your life for valid reasons so let her go....some ladies have waited for men and ended up disappointed....you don't know her situation at home and marriage might be a way of escape...also for a young man to marry without a steady income is sucidal.... So I think you should let her go, another will come. Not easy but does happen..."don't push it, don't force it let it happen naturally, love will surely happen if love was meant to be.....lol. Hope I got the lyrics right sha
ReplyDeleteI see you as someone that will be controlled by your parents or anybody. The reason she not to continue with you.
ReplyDeleteStella no SnM this month?
ReplyDeleteFor once on this blog I agree with Queen n boss,see all d women here shouting let her go.if tomorrow she comes here to write chronicles on how she waited for a guy that later dumped her Na una go still cuss her out.you see this wait let me get my feet financially, I once did it and I ended up wasting 5yrs of my life.Thank God dh came when he did.poster introduction n court are not expensive, if you love her that much do one of these to help assure her of your intention.
ReplyDeleteHey young man... if you were my brother. This is what I'll tell you.
ReplyDeleteMarriage shouldn't be your priority now.
Try to secure a job first , a source of income.
Focus on that.
Secondly ... you don't need this type of stress , you can barely take care of yourself and you want to add responsibility of somebody else ... no no no. Now isn't the right time
Thirdly : leave that lady to make her choice ok.
And you'll look back and be glad you did, but it'll be painful now. Be logical...
Wish you the best.
Bros abet release her to go
ReplyDeleteDon't allow woman to put u under unnecessary pressure
U really still young go and make money first
Na so!!
ReplyDeleteNa so!!
ReplyDelete