WOW!!!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CHEATER CAUGHT RED HANDED
Hi Stella,
Good day I hope this mail meets you well and plz post anonymously and i'll go straight to the point.
Ok this happened on sat the 14th of January 2017, my husband came home very late on Friday night, I asked him where he's been he told me he was hanging out with his friend,so I noticed he was very particular about his jean,he even took it to the bathroom to bath and was with him throughout, normally when he comes home he changes into his shorts and puts away the clothes he was wearing, so this particular night his jean was with him everywhere he goes.
So my curiosity got the best of me,I had to check what was it he was hiding, after he slept off I checked his pocket and I found d receipt of the hotel he was that night, so fast forward on Saturday morning he told me he was going to see a friend who lives not far from us,I told him it was too early that whatever it was can wait he said no he has to go.
Hi Stella,
Good day I hope this mail meets you well and plz post anonymously and i'll go straight to the point.
Ok this happened on sat the 14th of January 2017, my husband came home very late on Friday night, I asked him where he's been he told me he was hanging out with his friend,so I noticed he was very particular about his jean,he even took it to the bathroom to bath and was with him throughout, normally when he comes home he changes into his shorts and puts away the clothes he was wearing, so this particular night his jean was with him everywhere he goes.
So my curiosity got the best of me,I had to check what was it he was hiding, after he slept off I checked his pocket and I found d receipt of the hotel he was that night, so fast forward on Saturday morning he told me he was going to see a friend who lives not far from us,I told him it was too early that whatever it was can wait he said no he has to go.
I allowed him and I wanted to see for myself,I already knew the name of the hotel and it wasn't very far from where we stay,immediately he left
I carried my 6 months old baby and took a cab,I wanted to see for myself and confirmed all my suspicions all this while,on getting to the hotel, I saw my husbands car packed outside,I waited to see who was with him,lo and behold my hubby came out with this girl looking around before they jumped into the car,immediately I saw them I instructed the cab driver to pack in front of him,I came out and as soon as he saw me he zoomed off.
I carried my 6 months old baby and took a cab,I wanted to see for myself and confirmed all my suspicions all this while,on getting to the hotel, I saw my husbands car packed outside,I waited to see who was with him,lo and behold my hubby came out with this girl looking around before they jumped into the car,immediately I saw them I instructed the cab driver to pack in front of him,I came out and as soon as he saw me he zoomed off.
He's been begging non stop since I haven't given him a listening ear,dont know if I'll ever be able to forgive him and his mother called to inform us of her visit today,do I report her son to her?been that it wasn't long ago she came to settle for us an issue relating to this,I'm just fed up I don't know what to do?
Who do I talk to I'm so shattered.
*Na wah!..what kind of problem is this?I dont even know what to tell you...This isnt his first time,I am just wondering if it will be his last.
LOL
ReplyDeleteReport o, you must report... Someone like me I can't pretend sef, she will definitely ask me what is wrong and I must talk. Don't forgive him easily he has to realize the level of what he has done being that this isn't his first time sef
DeleteIf you have a source of income, I would say leave this man. He does not respect you or your new born baby. Imagine cheating when he should be in full time dad mode. I know you will remain there sha until he gives you HIV. He's not even a careful cheat, it won't be hard for him to catch something.
DeleteNa real wah. Men and pussy! Poster I don't know what to tell you biko. God help you.
DeleteSeeing the receipt in this pocket means he checked the girl into the hotel and decided not to sleep over with her after sex, telling her he will come check her in the morning.
DeleteMost men are been influenced by their friends. Since his mom have always been the one you report to. You can still go ahead and tell her but don't expect much as she will not kill herself for the yimu you call a husband.
Forgive him
Both of you should go for test. You might also be the cause
Make it a habit to go with him to church always.
If your alway giving excuse in bed because you just gave birth pls stopeeet . Ride him and be a good wife.
Thank me later
Before I forget pick a day for both of to go out maybe a restaurant or hotel and spend time outside your home and pls don't go with the kid(s) and stop nagging if you are do
And you will have your boyfriend back yes! Boyfrnd not husband
Forgive him and give him another chance.you should report him to his mother.let her b aware. I was shock few days ago when my husband admitted cheating on me.HE said it was during our first year of marriage and he no longer see her. I was heart broken and I was really hurt cuz in our 3years of marriage I never suspected him for a day.BUt u know what?I have forgiven him and have sincerely moved on hoping he will never do thay again. He treats me very well now and he has changed alot. He wants us to realy work on our marriage. My dear life is not a movie. You have to fight for your marriage. I am very hpeful that he will change.just give him sometime.
DeleteLol nawa.. husband aiye.. he won't change, just manage him
DeleteDearest...hear him out!!! Of course it will still be the same story and excuse but hear him out,give him audience... is this his first time???
DeleteDon't respond in any way to his explanations. Be silent and before you speak,ask the Holy Spirit to give you utterance. Please don't let your emotions dictate your speech. I don't know what to advice so it doesn't happen again,infact there is no guarantee it won't happen again but you need to put the fear of God in him. When he explains, dont respond yet. Let it simmer,let him also ponder,your silence will weaken him and when you finally speak, Speak softly and let him understand the long term repercussions of his actions.speak from the heart.
I can't advice you leave,we all sin. No sin is greater, sin is sin. Also tell him (for your peace of mind o) to set the punishment if this reoccurs...
As per reporting to your MIL,is it necessary? She will always side with her son. No matter how objective they may seem, they'll always have a bias toward their child.why involve a third party in your marriage anyway?if you must,let it be a neutral party/counsellor or pastor.
It is well dear
My opinion o!
My two kobo on the issue
Anonymous 15:44 she leave him 😳 and divorce, this is a bad trend.. Abeg my dear sister, see let me tell the honest truth hold Ur man tight abi U wan leave him for the sidechick abeg leave make U lose na, trust me U can always get Ur man to yourself. Stellz I tire for some hyprocrite here using anonymous to comment whereas they hold their marriage like madt.
DeleteMy sister sorry you are going through this. Please take heart
DeletePlease be strong. Just let him be. Pray for him whenever you can but don't put all your focus on that. Focus on yourself. Love yourself and your baby. Get your groove back. Stop following him. Allow him.
When you have sex with him ALWAYS use a condom. Double wrap sef. If you don't have a job, put all your energy into getting one Instead Of worrying what your husband is doing. The Lord is your strength.
Every time u guys ask the woman to always use condom,like that would erase d emotional pain, I believe sex is a mind thing, how then do u expect her to enjoy it when her heart is shattered? D problem should be sorted from d root n not by giving temporary solutions, can she have sex with protection for d rest of her life?
DeleteMy dear anon 20.21 what else can we tell her now. You have to make your own happiness na. She needs to unbreak her own heart. If someone has shown you that they are not worthy of your love then you have to remove the ability for them to hurt you. We are just telling her to stay for the kids at least for now. If hu s us providing and is a good husband, just manage . As my mum says ko si okurin to da ooo.
DeleteThe sex is just to scratch an itch.
U have a six months old. Worry about him and ignore your husband. Give him the silent treatment. Or buy laxative and put in his food. Let him purge f or two days
ReplyDeleteEvil genius 😁
DeleteLol
DeleteU are a case... Ewu gambia.. Just too funny n nasty
DeleteMc pinky
👍
DeleteNarrator, where u a runs gal b4 u got married?? Did u sleep wit oda women's hubby??? . Search ur conscience, if yes, ma dear carry ur cross, cos d pain u inflicted on odas, shall be inflicted on u. But if u didnt do so, just go down on ur knees n cry 2 God, He kws u didnt do dat 2 odas so u dont deserve such, He will bring ur hubby bk 2 u n u alone. I rest ma case.
DeleteHe lodged his hoe near his home. Learner.
DeleteHmmm. I cant deal with a cheating partner so I cant advice on this.
ReplyDeleteAll men have the tendency to cheat on their women but only a few of them have self control.
DeleteA man can love his wife and still cheat on her.
It is well.
Anon 17:40 quit making excuses for these men! Ahh it's when they see things like this, they decide to throw caution to the wind. I'd like to think that men are not dogs and can exercise some self control. We are all tempted to cheat, even as women but do we? No! That's because no one makes excuses for us.
DeleteWow
ReplyDeleteStella y u de put kerosene inside already burning fire? Na advise wey u suppose give her be dis? Madam pls tk heart! Men are cheats and wld always cheat! Pls tk heart inugo? Just mind and tk gd cr of ur baby ok? Na God go deal with dat ur cheating husband u hear? And as for dos girls sleeping wit married men, d thunder! D thunder! D thunder dat wld hammer dem is still doing press up! It's on its way! Mscheeeeew!
DeletePoster, your husband has to be the sloppiest cheat ever... I was even thinking he nutted all over the jeans, but to think that it was a receipt that was the exhibit is shocking.. Why didn't he leave it in his car? Being that he's a serial cheat.
DeleteOn the other hand, poster, have you started working on yourself to look sexy for him post pregnancy? I'm not saying he won't still cheat but you can reduce the frequency of cheating if you look alluring to him.. I know married men that couldn't resist their wifes' sexual appeal 3months post pregnancy.. Don't listen to the singletons saying you should leave him, seek a solution
Brb
ReplyDeleteSorry guys, once I catch you cheating, that's is it! That's the end of the marriage! Yes! I'm stubborn like that and my husband knows that! And when I leave, I change my phone number, no one even my family will be able to contact me!
DeleteJust the other my husband's ex's friend called him, i reported him straight to his mother! The Mum told him not to ever ever speak to anybody that has a link with his ex! She asked if him how he would feel if people from my ex's side start calling my phone! In fact, she warned if she ever hears this sort of stuff again, he will come and carry her corpse! It took me one week to forgive my husband! He cried and begged all through the week before I cooled down!
Poster, I'm not advising you to leave your husband! Just said what I would do in your situation! Meanwhile, make sure you let his mom know about this for future receipt! He might turn the table around someday and accuse you of cheating, and everyone will believe him! He who reports first wins the case, if you are in doubt, ask a policeman!
Banky
Banky your sense no be here! May your union be blessed and you shall continue receiving the respect you deserve. Correct woman.
Delete@banky, what sort of high horsed statement is this? I sense you are the bread winner in your home, that's the only reason why u would be so confident to end your marriage on 1st offense, and the idiot was begging and crying just cos he got phone call from ex's friend? Your husband is not a man and you know it. If your husband was wealthy, his mother won't tell you that shit, but let me tell you, you are not the 1st foolish over confident wife to boast about walking out, history has shown that majority of your type stay in the marriage and find one bf to cheat with..
DeleteBanky's mother in law is a good woman and Banky is a principled lady not necessarily the bread winner. May God help me I will also groom my son's to respect their wives even if they are billionaires in dollars. When aa wife knows her husband has eyes only for her, she supports him with all her being both physically and spiritually
DeleteWow
ReplyDeletehis mother is aware hence her visit to you.
ReplyDeleteFirrst don't bring in your mother inlaw into the issues. Your husband sef dsnt know how to cheat wearing jeans suspiciously all over the house lol. Know how you address this. Sit him down. Let him know how disappointed you are in him. How you are finding it difficult to forgive him.talk about this and let him know you won't take this from him again and table the consequences for him but forgive him so you guys can live happily pls.
ReplyDeleteMy mind exactly
DeleteYou're trailing a man up and down, you clearly don't value your health.
ReplyDeleteHe is a cheat and begging you won't make him stop.
I'd say don't report to his mother at least he didn't flip the coin on you and accuse you of monitoring him. Besides, mothers usually protect their sons.she might take sides with you to your fence but won't do shingbain about it unless she is just a better mother than most who will reprimand him.
Don't let 3rd party into your marriage, it usually doesn't end well.
Take care of your baby and yourself.
He won't stop seeing the good looking girl, he'd only pretend for sometime till he finds a clever way of hiding his escapades from you.
If you want to punish him ask him that you both should go for STD tests that you're no longer safe sleeping with him knowing he is sharing his penis like small chops.
Please don't let this weigh you down before you'd die at a young age.
Poster, listen to Dope and trinity on this before all the women start telling you to leave him especially the single ones. I'm single too😆😂😅
DeleteReally? She's training a man? After she saw a hotel receipt in the trouser he was foolishly hiding? Are you for real? I agree with every thing you just said except for that.
DeleteIf it was just mere suspicions then you dare not trail a man but when i see a hotel receipt? Haba
Poster God will surely God this
DeletePoster, if you leave that man that girl would come and take your place and even born twins. Don't try it! Punish him and talk to him later about it. Tell him you need to start using protection with him, that alone will pain him eh! Hope this helps.
DeleteU dunno what to do?
ReplyDeleteJust forgive him,
That's all.
Wow! As soon as he saw u, he zoomed off. With d girl still siiting in his car. Na wa.
ReplyDeleteVery disrespectful of him. But guess he was trying to avoid a fight
DeleteWomen are too blind and desperate to see the hand-writing on the wall before marriage.
ReplyDeleteBear your cross madam!
Explain this comment pls.
DeleteYes, report to his mother seeing that she'd been a mediator recently. This will make folks understand you if you ever decide to leave in the future.
ReplyDeleteBut above all, report to God; don't know him? You can . . .by calling upon Jesus to be your Lord and studying his words in the New testament. He is the healer and will heal your life and your marriage.
And be sure you are coming to equity with clean hands.
hahahahaha this is just like Nollywood movie only that this is real.
ReplyDeleteIt has happened. Please forgive him and treat him like the way he deserved. Start collecting huge money from him. He is a fool.
For him to zoom off without waiting, that means he is afraid and had to run off. Sorry ooo. Dont be shattered. Life goes on.
It is well. Dont leave him for that stupid girl to take over oo
Lol. Just wondering the hot lie he must ve told the girl as he zoomed off. Am sure he told the girl that he woman that blocked him is his friend's wife that has been begging him for money. Lmfao!
DeleteMadam poster, just see as this unmarried bitter soul is calling your husband a fool.....
DeleteYou have all what you want now, oya do whatever you plan to do with it.
ReplyDeleteOn a second note, if u don't wanna forgive him, divorce him, go get a fuck boy.
ReplyDeleteStop bn so insensitive madam blackberry! U are a woman and wld get married some day! Put ur self in her shoes! Hw wld u feel if u see or catch ur husband cheating on u?u wd go and divorce him or go get a fuckboy just like dat? Haba! Y are women are worst enemies? Be c compassionate plsssssssss!
DeleteBlackBerry.. Enough, i go slap u now and u wipl never return to ur place of work again. *lol
DeleteMc pinky
She was joking can't you diff one when you see it.
DeleteHehehehee sorry o anon! She's asking what to do naa, asides from forgiving him, these are her other options.
DeleteAdeniji Oya sorry
I felt so bad reading this chronicles! And you have a six months old baby, why are some men so wicked? Your husband is inconsiderate and selfish.
ReplyDeleteI will advise you report him to his mum, since it seems his mother is not in support of his frolicking acts.
I'm short of words, may God heal your broken heart.
Report to the mother to be a witness but do not expect much. No mother will side with you against her son, except such a mother is on the side of God and the godly.
ReplyDeleteDearest...hear him out!!! Of course it will still be the same story and excuse but hear him out,give him audience... is this his first time???
DeleteDon't respond in any way to his explanations. Be silent and before you speak,ask the Holy Spirit to give you utterance. Please don't let your emotions dictate your speech. I don't know what to advice so it doesn't happen again,infact there is no guarantee it won't happen again but you need to put the fear of God in him. When he explains, dont respond yet. Let it simmer,let him also ponder,your silence will weaken him and when you finally speak, Speak softly and let him understand the long term repercussions of his actions.speak from the heart.
I can't advice you leave,we all sin. No sin is greater, sin is sin. Also tell him (for your peace of mind o) to set the punishment if this reoccurs...
As per reporting to your MIL,is it necessary? She will always side with her son. No matter how objective they may seem, they'll always have a bias toward their child.why involve a third party in your marriage anyway?if you must,let it be a neutral party/counsellor or pastor.
It is well dear
My opinion o!
My two kobo on the issue
Report ke dnt try it oo my moda inlaw will just come and add more fuel to fire... Always siding her children even if der are wrong. Since i knew who she was i dnt boder reporting my husband to her oo wat ever be the case we go settle ourselves
Deleteposter,it is WELL HMMMMM
ReplyDeleteDear poster,you have every right to be angry with him but don't let your anger destroy your marriage.
DeleteYour husband seems to be a JJC in the game.It shows that he can easily stop cheating for the fear of being caught.
He loves,respects and cherishes you that was why he didn't sleep out.
Forgive and forget what he did because trust me,she's only a sex object to him and he won't go back to her again because he will is only concerned about your forgiveness.
Don't report him to his mum no matter how angry you are. Pretend all is well and watch how guilty he will be. Trust me,ge will respect and fear you if you do this.
Try to be more romantic with him and work on yourself....am not supporting him for cheating on you though but don't make it easier for him.
All I can say is that you went to school.
DeleteYour hubby get mind zoom off oh! I truly don't know what to tell you. I only wish men knew that these actions of theirs destroy the foundation of the home and hurts the women in ways that might not be easily repaired.
ReplyDeleteOmg!!! This is damn sad. Poster, i feel for you. Reporting him to his mother will do no good other than worsen his cheating sef. Its already in him. All you need to do is try to take it off your mind, ignore his escapades even though wont seem easy and always try to make yourself happy by looking extremely good and all. Pele!
ReplyDeleteHmmmm...... Patch it Father.
ReplyDeleteJesus, take the wheel
Deletereporting wont solve anything ma, you have to go on your knees and pray. cos its only God that has the ability to change a man
ReplyDeleteHe cannot stop o.Jst allow him satisfy himself.Tell him to always use condom.Madam take heart dat is d life of men.
ReplyDeleteYou are a complete Goat without any missing part. And you are a stupid goat Sef,not the intelligent once they sell in garki market. Why didn't you advice her to as well buy him condom, nonsense.
Delete😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Lmao!!!@Nina chocomile
DeleteNina, that's d bitter truth, d earlier women live with d notion that men cheat, d better.
DeletePoster watch war room.
ReplyDeleteTo be sincere with you, the only advice that your horseband will adhere to is the one he give to himself, that's why I will advise you to watch war room.
Men and cheating are like 5 &6, it's only a man that fear God and have self control that will be faithful to his wife. Just take it easy and know that this too shall pass! Forgive him but don't forget.
ReplyDeleteMadam forgive him.... Talk to him. I know it hurts but please forgive him.
ReplyDeleteMen and cheating are like 4 and 6.
ReplyDeleteA nursing mother FBIing her husband. Now you've seen him, whose heart is broken? Who is in pain? There are certain things women will never understand about a man. It is near difficult for a man that still retains virility to permanently shy away from the legion of women he sees everyday. Men and women are wired differently. It isn't easy for us. Seeing the way women flash boobs, ass, laps,etc... it ain't easy please. Damn discipline! Under a comfortable scenario, very few men, a very negligible number can tie themselves to one vagina for the rest of their lives. Wise women understand this fact and save themselves head and heart ache. Some of you come here with "I've been married for 5yrs..i can vouch for my husband, he has never cheated", and I just laugh.
DeleteOga I can vouch for my own. If he has then God bless him for respecting me enough to allow get a whiff sef. He respects me that much.
DeleteBefore a women sets out to confront her cheating husband or boyfriend, she must prepare how mind on the steps she would take should her suspicions be true (whether to leave to cheater and move on, forgive him with conditions or forgive him unconditionally). But for a woman to set out on a journey of confronting a cheater, confirms her suspicions and then turn around to "wail" and ask people what she should do, that's the one that weakens me!
ReplyDelete@Poster, he's your husband. You know him better than us (as to whether he would change or continue in his cheating ways). The decision on what to do is entirely up to you.
Abi now. You trailed him, like an FBI that you are but you don't know what to do after your findings.
DeleteWhy did you set out to investigate him in the first place ??
Hahahahahhahah...
ReplyDeletePoster,don't report your husband to any body!...
Not even his mum!...
You have to forgive him but make sure you start taxing him!...
Since he has extra money to pay for a hotel room to gbensh,he should have extra to give you all the goodies that you would demand!...
When I tell you women to stop pitying una husband when collecting money from them,some Mugus would be dulling!...
Doing good wife!..
*yinmu...
Suffer him wella before forgiving him oh!...
This narrative is the only narrative that has touched my soul. Forgive him o but madam, please ensure you get at least a Toyota camry(spider) from him before you do. You need a car.
Deletethe only reporting you are to do is to report him to his creator who is God.
ReplyDeleteLove conquers all:
ReplyDeleteA lady colleague came back from work unexpectedly before time one day and found her husband on top of another lady in their shared bedroom (at that point the man had driven her to be sleeping in the guest room). She greeted them and left . . . called back at work and excused herself. She went to the kitchen brought out food and served them lunch in the dinning table and told the husband with a smile that "lunch was ready for him and his guest" (the man hadn't eaten her meal for months). The nude lady (now dressed) bust out in tears. She asked the man; it this your wife you told me was a she devil? Oh God please forgive me and help me to be like this lady . . . the man's wife wiped her tears and embraced her and she left. The husband was so ashamed and remorseful and pleaded with her not to leave. She looked at him and said "J. . .(his name), if I were to leave, I would have left you since but I love you . . ."
Romans chapter twelve: 19 Beloved, do not avenge yourselves, but rather give place to wrath; for it is written, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay,” says the Lord. 20Therefore“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;If he is thirsty, give him a drink;For in so doing you will heap coals of fire on his head.”21Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.
Super story! Mtcheew!
DeleteWhen you have a daughter in a similar situation don't forget to tell her to do everything mentioned above.
Further more, advise her to help them make the bed, insert the condom and play Marvin Gaye's 'sexual healing' to set the tone.
Nonsense and ingredients!
This is very stupid advice encouraging emotional and psychological abuse. The same bible categorically said people should divorce cheating partners.
DeleteHahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha. Na so. Best advice ever. LMAO.
Delete👍... Thanks for this
DeleteMc pinky
Kwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa
DeleteLady Igo. I still remember you.
DeleteThe man is an unrepentant cheat.only a near death experience will stop him. Poster, commit this husband of yours into prayers.
ReplyDeletePlease don't tell his mother o because am sure she may side her son. However please forgive your husband.
ReplyDeleteCommit your hubby's community dick into prayer.
ReplyDeleteHis dick needs serious deliverance.
What is wrong with some or should I say most men? Why do they find so much pleasure in cheating? Madam, tell his mum when she comes visiting and pray. You can talk to him if u haven't done that.
ReplyDeleteI do not understand why women choose to torture themselves.
ReplyDeleteYou are not going to leave him if you find out. He will not even stop either, so why do the extra trying to catch him red handed?
You no want peace for your life be that.
I understand it must be very hurtful and a cheating husband can bring all sort of diseases and problems. fact is, when he is cheating you know. Checking his jeans and seeing d receipt and his insisting to leave that morning confirms it. Don't scar yourself by going the extra to see the horror.
Na make e no carry disease come give you and your innocent pikin person go de pray.
I don't even know what to advise sef. If I say talk to him, it won't work. Reporting to his mother isn't a good idea at all at all. Na to de use condom for now till you find a lasting solution o.
Postet,that your husband dhey learn work for cheating o
ReplyDeleteYour hubby is very stupid sef, so he can afford hotel and runs money but cannot buy you a car, you even had to jump cab to chase him. Please do not forgive so easily. As a matter of fact tell him you are leaving the house for a while avd when his mum comes he should report himself before you come back home, cus you are too hurt to do so. He will feel so much shame reporting himself that he will think of his steps
DeleteMy concern about men sleeping around is the tendency of giving the wife std. I used to believe that my husband is different until I discovered he cheats too. God help us
ReplyDeleteMy dear not only u, I thought mine was different too..till I caught him cheating, he was everything,took care of us(my son n I),two cars I have now were bought by him,...still trying to recover from this shock.I can't bring myself to trust him again.honestly ,I don't know the best way to go about this!I can't cheat on him cos I ve a God fearing heart(and a lot of guys are equally on my case),i just don't get y he cld invite devil into our peaceful home,oh !how I wish,i had completed the number of children I wanted to have,then I wld had told him to hell with his dick, n love(dildo take over),focusing on my kids n profession.between I am fine n sexy practising female doctor,so money is practically not my problem.am pained, I feel betrayed n that trust has been lost.
DeleteAnon 16:05 drop your contact lets discuss, fear not am female.
DeleteAnon 16:05 drop your contact lets discuss. Fear not am female.
DeleteWhy are you having more kids in an unstable home...sooo dysfunctional
DeleteAnon 18:22 it is better. Let all her kids have the same father.
DeleteWhatever you do, do not report him to his Mum again. This is really saddening that you have to deal with this while nursing an infant. Try to be cool with his Mum and be a good DIL. You and your husband should try settling this by yourselves.
ReplyDeleteAwwww I can feel ur pain.
ReplyDeletePls don't tell his mother anything, put up an act while she is around, this is strictly bw u and ur horseband.
As per the cheat, my sister if u love him and he had been good to u in all other aspects of your relationship, den have have a talk with him. Establish if
1. It is/was a fling or if he is in a relationship with her.
2. He is going to quit whatever it is
3. There is smth needed to spice up your (yours n his) sex life
Seeing as you just had a baby maybe u no dey give am.
If he is remorseful, forgive and let go but with a stern warning. It will b hard to trust him again but such is life. U will get over it esp if he is a good man and repents
Your husband is a learner. Cheating and not covering his tracks. Those are the one that will give you HIV.
ReplyDeleteYou just had a baby...for your sake and your children do not and I repeat DO NOT sleep with him without protection or AT ALL sef until you get a clean health bill (all the tests oh)
ReplyDeleteThat is how my aunt dodged the bullet of following her community dick husband to die from AIDS!
Don't be sentimental about these things, live for yourself and your children.
Please give him the silent treatment. No talk anything coz nothing he says will change the fact that he has zero respect for you,your child and your marriage. How can you zoom off with the side chick just like that?? And the marriage is early. Some men won't make heaven. Chai pele. Don't report him to the mum because she's gonna give you thesame recycled advice " all men cheat, leave him and focus on your child" "pray for him all day,all night, fast for 40days and all that... just keep quiet and let him suffer through your silence.
ReplyDeleteBabe this kind of decision is the type that u have to make on your own. You are in the situation. We can not feel it as much as you are feeling it. You alone know if you can forgive him and trust him again or if you cant cope in the marriage anymore. I would advise that you see a counsellor/marriage psychologist to even know the root of the problem. If it is a slip based on whatever reason or if he is a serial cheat. I wish you all the best. But do not tell his mum. The one she settled did not stop him from doing it again. Think...pray and ask God for wisdom.
ReplyDeleteForgive him... But make him go for tests to ensure he has not contacted any STD...
ReplyDeleteForgive him... But make him goes for tests to ensure he has not contacted any STD...
ReplyDeleteDearest...hear him out!!! Of course it will still be the same story and excuse but hear him out,give him audience... is this his first time???
ReplyDeleteDon't respond in any way to his explanations. Be silent and before you speak,ask the Holy Spirit to give you utterance. Please don't let your emotions dictate your speech. I don't know what to advice so it doesn't happen again,infact there is no guarantee it won't happen again but you need to put the fear of God in him. When he explains, dont respond yet. Let it simmer,let him also ponder,your silence will weaken him and when you finally speak, Speak softly and let him understand the long term repercussions of his actions.speak from the heart.
I can't advice you leave,we all sin. No sin is greater, sin is sin. Also tell him (for your peace of mind o) to set the punishment if this reoccurs...
As per reporting to your MIL,is it necessary? She will always side with her son. No matter how objective they may seem, they'll always have a bias toward their child.why involve a third party in your marriage anyway?if you must,let it be a neutral party/counsellor or pastor.
It is well dear
My opinion o!
My two kobo on the issue
Na wa ooo....well u are the one that knows ure husband and ur in laws. If u know that reporting him will give u the required response den do so if not don't go and add extra sand to ur garri oo. Take heart
ReplyDeleteOnly few comments so far, but I have seen many constructive statements already so lemme just add small:- Shebi na public opinion you dey find? Idiot go home and make peace with him. Where you a virgin before he married you? Was he?? Abeg leave matter for Mathias!
ReplyDeleteMiyake idiot like your mother....why insult her? So if she did not marry a virgin is marriage not commitment from both parties? Stupid he goat like you
DeleteOh lord.
ReplyDeleteI need a job before Nysc first batch My location is Ikorodu
Give him so much responsibility that he won't hv extra cash to foot hotel bills. Why leave your home for one small girl?
ReplyDeletecheck yourself, maybe there are Some things you r not doing right.
Make your bedroom lively, go and learn all those sex styles of yesterday's wnb, spooning, lotus, tantrics?? Then pray very well .
I 'll show you where they sell on point lingerie n nightgowns that are super hawt, seduce him, gbench him so well that he won't hv the strength of going out.
Hope u don't smell of breast milk? Men hate that alot.
Oya contact me.
Men and cheating, may God deliver them
ReplyDeleteDeal with it or leave. Honest opinion#
ReplyDeleteWhich kin Mumu cheating husband be dat sef..he no fit tear receipt? Olodo cheat
ReplyDeleteDs kin man girl go dey deceive am well well.. Just forgive him nd move on,dnt tell anybody..u have told us it's enough already.. The only thing u report to someone in marriage is domestic violence..sorry shaa
So sad. Silent treatment Will do a little trick but don't involve your mum inlaw.
ReplyDeleteAbraham, David and Solomon had numerous wives but they are still regarded as heroes of faith, and they made heaven. From inception, most men in the bible had numerous wives, may be the societal change and religious influences that led to monogamy as the cultural norm do not take into consideration the nature of some men that require more than woman.
ReplyDelete15:47 go back and read your bible and stop living in fools paradise....what was the consequences of their having multiple women? Thy at one point or the other had to repent and they suffered consequences here on earth for that..God created man To be with only only one woman. If you go against that principle anything can happen to you...if you die in the sin of adultery it's hell fire straight..
DeletePlease someone should just suggest the best way to deal with a cheating horseband. Those men ain't loyal at all and to think that some people that do this survive on their wives purse. Please suggestions
ReplyDeleteMadam!My advice for you is this:
ReplyDelete1.Call your husband & ask him what you're doing wrong to make him cheat,that's if there's any wrong from your side.
2.Have you been denying him sex?If you have then stop that.
3.Have you stopped doing stuffs that made you attractive to him since you gave birth to your baby?If you've stopped then its time you re-visit them.
4.Do not tongue lash him when you're doing the aforementioned,there is a loophole somewhere find it and patch it up.
I'd advise you don't inform his Mum for now,if he continues after my advice then inform His Mum with proof.
Shola...
I like the laxative part. If you distort his program for one week, he will learn how far. Even the babe sef go run
ReplyDeleteFirst of all i hope you never dated someone else husband when you were single, if you did karma jst remembered ur address bc it never forgets The Bible said that whatever any man sows thou shalt it eat.
ReplyDeleteBut if you didn't Go and watch war room after that go down on ur knees and cry out to God @ midnight to fight ur battle and cause confusion between them also bind the spirit of adultery and lust in ur husband you can pray with psalms 35, 91, Obadiah 1 vs17 and any other scriptures you wish to .
Finally learn to stop inviting a third party into your marital issues. God's grace is all i wish you.
I feel ur pain poster, u can report him to his mum jst for d sake of it as his mum will always love him regardless. Ladies d bitter truth here is a man will not only cheat bc of d fear of God and nothing more. All men have d potential to cheat or fall into temptation as it were, bc of nude gals all over d place preying of established rich men N causing pains to fellow women. It's harder now dat nudity is d order of d day with cleavages N bums in our faces. To avoid all dese, build or find a man dat has got d fear of God and commit all to Him.
ReplyDeleteGod bless your wisdom
DeleteOh ye men! When will ye change.
ReplyDeleteMadam please channel your energy to taking good care of yourself and baby.
Tell it all to God. Bare it all to Him. Keep calm and be happy. Let him sweat it.
poster, sorry that this is happening to you at this point of your life.
ReplyDeletemy take (and i mean what i will do if i were to be in your shoes)
i wont report to his mother, as some mother will only support their son depending on her kind of person,especially yoruba and the edo tribe.
i will call him and ask ? regarding how long they've bin together, if you re to be expecting a younger wife soon and the rest, if he is being sex starve, how he thinks you two can improve on your sex life since all this goes a long way to affect marrige at least he should stop bringing it close to the house, and let him understand that you need to run std test for the baby sake and the family. And as he don decide to they waste money for outside make him prepare to dey spend for you too. all the same please forgive him and move on and concentrate on your baby.
I will advice you to use the silent medicine,and this is the time for you to get back your forefathers money from your husband.start up a business and keep yourself busy.pamper yurself more
ReplyDeleteMy dear i can't tell you to look the other way. There is no better way to cope with it. Talking about it might make him realise how much he hurt you. Ask him why,what he saw in her, who approach who first,did he pay her, does he love her,does he want to makeit permanent, is it a one off or continous love making,did he make love to her the same way he made love to you,did he remove his boxer,did he remove his socks. If he did it means he took his time and never thought of you at any point. If you can't move beyond it then end the marriage. But then the grass is not greener on the other side.(ps: those questions will make him embarrassed when he answers them and it might make him conscious next time but i doubt if he will stop) don't forget to do a vdrl test for him and insist he wears a condom for your own protection.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is a learner cheat, their type comes home with STD or even unwanted pregnancies.
ReplyDeleteYou should report him to his mum and have your phone secretly record the conversation you have with them. If she's not a fair mother she might deny this in the future when the need arise-hopefully not!
Before her arrival don't discuss a thing with your hubby if he doesn't come to you to explain himself. Apology is not what you want, he needs to tell you what led to it so you can join him to prevent reoccurring.
After his mum leaves, don't bother discussing the topic with him anymore. Don't deprive him of anything but sex, tell him to get tested first.
MrsBee
I feel sorry for this poster and to think that her baby is still young. Why are some men such heartbreakers? It's not fair at all. What is this girl he met at the hotel giving him that he can't get from his wife? I don't even know what to tell her because cheating is the one thing I can't and won't condone.
ReplyDeleteMy dear, please don't bring in a third party into your marriage. I'll advice you pray about it, after which you have a heart to heart talk with him. Tell God to help you forgive him, also ask God to arrest your hubby and plant His fear in your husband's heart. May God intervene in your marriage in Jesus name.
ReplyDeleteHe isn't still a kid in the cheating game. And kids always get caught. Why not shred the receipt before coming home? Or was it a failed POS transaction and he needed to report the issue to his bank?
ReplyDeleteBut madam, ignore your husband and focus on your baby. It seems like yours is a new marriage. Apply wisdom but don't leave your home for another woman.
He was washing his jeans? Why?
ReplyDeleteDid blood splatter on it or is it just sperm?
Honey, for him to see you and still zoom off? Oh boy. It means he knows you will not leave him and will not do anything and that means he has you where he want you.
Most mothers support their sons. She may support you to your face but her ultimate support and love is for the son.
All the best. Be strong for your baby.
I remember one Nigerian movie where Nse was following the cheating husband all over town.
Some people will say ignore him and focus on your child, will that stop him from cheating? No.
Following him around town will not stop him from cheating too.
I will read comments.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
Dont leave your marriage cos of this. Talk to him and let him know how you feel.99% of men cheat, na who them catch be theif. All the best.
ReplyDeleteUmu nwoke sef!
ReplyDeleteGo to God in prayers like d actor in war room cos it is only God that can fix it.
ReplyDeleteMy darling, I'm trying to comfort you but not console you with lies. Take it from me, a lot of men cheat. Just because someone hasn't caught her man cheating, doesn't mean he doesn't cheat. Like we say in Law, the absence of evidence is not the evidence of absence. The sooner a lot of us understand that men are wired differently, the better we will learn to deal with certain situations.
ReplyDeleteI've been attacked by a lot of women when I bring up the fact that a man's physiology and psychology is very different from a woman's. Women are naturally caregivers and nurtures. The funny thing is, after attacking me, when they have infidelity related crisis in their various homes, guess whose phone gets "lit" with sporadic calls and messages? Yeah, you guessed right.
It's not an excuse for men to cheat, it's the plain fact. It's in their nature. A healthy man wakes up in the morning with an erection, whether or not he is aroused. How many women wake up lubricated when they didn't have erotic dreams? Ladies, if you are lucky to have a man who is faithful to you, don't take him for granted. The poor dude is fighting against his nature. As women, we're wired to be emotional and we easy express out emotions. When we hurt, we cry and sulk. When men hurt, they act out and become angry and erratic. We are different, whether you accept it or not.
Sweetie, NEVER tail anyone, least of all your husband, with a baby in hand. The security of your baby must trump the desire to showcase your prolific CIA skills. I'm guessing this isn't the 1st time he is cheating on you and it most likely wouldn't be the last. So how do you want to handle it? Get a divorce? What happens if the next man cheats? Your main concern should be how to protect yourself from STDs which is a herculean task, being that you are married.
Don't even try to get even or punish him by demanding excess cash or refusing to prepare his meals or being passive aggressive with silent treatment for days. Completely perish the thought of paying him in his own coins. Whether you like it or not, marriage isn't prid pro quo. Carry out your normal duties as his wife. You can hold off on sex until both of you get tested. Let him realise that testing for STDs monthly is going to be both your realities if he wants to keep having sex with you. If he is embarrassed going for regular check ups, then it behooves him to take the appropriate measures.
Honey, leave his mum out of your marital issues. Both of you have to learn to deal with your issues by yourselves. His mum is probably old school and had to endure infidelity in her marriage too. Let me let you on a little secret, if you keep reporting him to his mum, she will start resenting you and get tire of your complaints. At the end of the day, her loyalty lies with her son. Marriage is not for the fainthearted, you have to put on your big girl pants and weather the storms in your marriage. Have a heart to heart talk with your husband now that he is begging for forgiveness. He will gladly listen since he's trying to win you back. This is one of the things in marriage you will have to learn to shake it off like a duck does on a rainy day.
#e-bearhugs.
Good comment, but cheating isn't one of the "storms" in marriage. It's not part of the for better or worse. I like the idea of monthly tests. If shame no kill am, I don't know what will. Lmaoooo!
DeleteWow!!!!!! I agree with your first and last paragraph but your middle/2nd abeg I no agree cha cha!!! That is not only condoning but you are encouraging him to continue since its in his nature. What if he come jam wan bomb pussy,you are simply welcoming your co wife. Except you are good with polygamy.
Deleteposter please don't bottle your hurt and express your hurt anyway that can relieve you. My mother did dis keeping calm. She won't even collect money from him,forming independent and enduring. Guess what?? He bought his girlfriend a car,rented her a correct house,changed her family house while my mum was dere forming I am a good woman,I wld endure. I learnt first hand from my mum. I can't try dt shit. You can forgive but milk him well.by d time you milk him only him wld see how expensive it is to run to women. Becos she carried that hurt and burden for several years,last last she fell sick. Till tommorw she is still treating herself,my dad is hale and hearty. My dad is trying to make up but she doesn't like collecting from him,but I have told her she must collect everything,whether she need am or not. If dey go shopping she must put something whether she needs it or not. Last last she shld give it to some1 who wld appreciate it. Dey wld tell you ,you wld enjoy him later(cheating husband) d only time you wld enjoy him is either when he hits rock bottom or old age. Either way milk him well and start saving for your self and your kids,just Incase you can't endure emotionally again.
Whenever I'm at a cross road and don't know which way to swing by, I jst look out for ronaldas comment...and over the years, she doent disappoint. God bless you for sharing the wisdom he has given u...silent bv from 199gbogboro
DeleteUse this opportunity to top up your acct to the fullest.
ReplyDeleteThat was how one banker in Kano sent his wife and kids to the village because of Boko haram, she sold off the stuff in her boutique and left, and her husband started bringing in his mistress to the house. Until one day as the neighbour couldn't bear it again, called the woman and told her to better come back tomorrow if not...
SHe quickly bought ticket that day without calling her husband and arrived as early as 5am. Met the girl and her panties lined up in the bathroom. She didn't fight o, she went straight to her room, dropped her bags, made food for her kids, before she could finished, the chic fiam.... oso 40-40ty. The man became sick and was shaking. She didn't talk to him, so the man left for work, when he came back she gave him big mighty list of what she needed...everything was in millions....nobody tell the man say kaaki no be leather, he provided the money, whether he borrowed or not, the wifey no send and he paid....
My dear use this opportunity well and after it, sit him down and talk sense into him, go for test o.
hmmm poster I can relate to ur case::: I got married just 17th of December to a man I thought was God fearing.
ReplyDeleteI am presently crying as am typing this my hubby had claimed a woman who is married with children was his family friend n she a secretly told him she married her hubby who has two wives and is older than her because she had waited for someone from his family to marry her but none came.
He had just brought snails and I was curious to know d source as the snails were much he then told me that It was the woman that gave him, that he was hungry of eating snails.. mind you me I don't eat snail
When we were courting he took me to the woman's house to go and introduce me to her, he was calling her first Lady, she was frying plantain and he asked for some she gave him in a plate, as we were leaving he almost fell into a pit of water. when I noticed this I was worried but he only assured me that she was the one possessing love to him
First week of January when we were strolling she saw us and came between us standing, touched my hubby with her breast me I was just not comfortable my Hubby was just staring at her breast I just left them, he did nt even mind they were together for almost 20min I timed them as I walked ahead. I told him I was not comfortable with her close to him that we should even plan packing from that neighborhood but he apologized. Now with this incident I know there more to this.
Am just crying don't even know who to tell
hmmm poster I can relate to ur case::: I got married just 17th of December to a man I thought was God fearing.
ReplyDeleteI am presently crying as am typing this my hubby had claimed a woman who is married with children was his family friend n she a secretly told him she married her hubby who has two wives and is older than her because she had waited for someone from his family to marry her but none came.
He had just brought snails and I was curious to know d source as the snails were much he then told me that It was the woman that gave him, that he was hungry of eating snails.. mind you me I don't eat snail
When we were courting he took me to the woman's house to go and introduce me to her, he was calling her first Lady, she was frying plantain and he asked for some she gave him in a plate, as we were leaving he almost fell into a pit of water. when I noticed this I was worried but he only assured me that she was the one possessing love to him
First week of January when we were strolling she saw us and came between us standing, touched my hubby with her breast me I was just not comfortable my Hubby was just staring at her breast I just left them, he did nt even mind they were together for almost 20min I timed them as I walked ahead. I told him I was not comfortable with her close to him that we should even plan packing from that neighborhood but he apologized. Now with this incident I know there more to this.
Am just crying don't even know who to tell
Plix what are you talking, i am not understanding. You better stop crying and carry ya cross. You neva chi chum ching. Stop carrying husband mattaer for head. You will just get high bp
Deletestupid man.
ReplyDeleteinstead of chewing the paper, he is busy carrying jeans up and down.
Getting tested monthly is not a preventive measure for STD.
ReplyDeleteWhat if she gets tested and the test confirms she has an incurable STD, what next?
Also, why do we keep telling women that if they leave, the next man may likely cheat. Why? What if the next man doesn't cheat.
...............................................................i have also read from some women that they can never leave their husband no matter how promiscuous he is. They even boast of how the man goes home to them. One dirty thing about cheating is, he may sleep with one and return home. He may sleep with fifty and return home. On his fifty second cheating, he may leave and move in with his side chic and never return home.
Some may eventually leave you if you decide not to leave.
..............................................................
Let us stop telling Nigerian women to be cool with their men cheating. You can't say you want monogamy and be cheating. You either want several wives and you let her know on time if she can deal with it or not.
Poster is a nursing mother. Any STD she gets, she has a chance of passing it to the child through breastfeeding.
There are certain things one should not play with.
If you are going to stay, maybe you should call your doctor and ask for HIV prep.
KING XOXO MYSTERY
@Ronalda, God bless you for this advise. Poster, the sad thing about this is that you are the one that is hurt. Sleepless nights, crying and feeling so angry. Please move on and just do things that will make you happy. That is one thing I have come to realise in marriage. I shake things like this off my head and just focus on my happiness. I cannot come and allow one man to send me to my early grave.
ReplyDeleteMy dear poster just make up your mind if you can bear it or leave him because my dear to tell you the truth men are promiscuous by nature. Some married women who go about swearing that their husbands have no side chick I pity for them o! Don't vouch or swear because of man o! Just be prayerful because all of them na de same thing. Ndoo sorry!
ReplyDeleteDear Poster my advice are (1) Please forgive him, I know its difficult but take it one step at a time but you have to make him give you reasons why you should forgive him, He needs to show a real sense of remorse (2) Don't tell his mum while she come visiting at your home cause you may cause more trouble than you envisaged. (3)Who is that person that he respects so much that you know, u can also tell that person so he/she can intervene(note single ladies always ask your intending man the one person he respects cause you will help when u have some challenges) (4) Please use protection any time you are sleeping with him, there are female condoms, keep one handy (5) Pray to God cause this is not a physical battle you can do on your own, you need the full armor Of God (6) DONT PACK OUT OF THAT HOUSE!! It is your home and you must keep it,let her be good looking and all but you are the custodian of your home...I hope i made sense???
ReplyDeleteThrow him out !
ReplyDeleteIf it happens to me I will report to his mother.....I have learnt with a lot happening in marriages that you need to let people know what is happening. When issues start coming or anything major happens the family will be forming ignorant of his actions. Tell your parents too so people know the kind of person he is......however as he has apologized just forgive him but you protection for now....some men are stupid I tell you
ReplyDeleteDear Poster
ReplyDeleteYour husband is totally wrong and has no right to cheat.
A few things u should know too dear..
1. The nursing period for women is also a trying time for men. During this period, men are most likely to cheat for many reasons.
2. Like someone said, he is a learner. If he is at this stage then he is a GOOD man. A few red flags also point to this.
Don't tell his mum, no need for that just yet. I will rather you don't tell anyone. Take him back but don't be cheap. Make him understand he really hurt you by talking to him about it.
The receipt you found was enough, following him wasn't such a good idea. That could have ended badly, it always does.
Good luck
My dear as a 15yr marriage veteran I will tell u. Do not report. These niger men after a while the family will say u report too much. They must always support their son. All I can say chop his money very very well. Use this opportunity and get whatever u want from him. Ask for the highest amount u think he can afford. U will get it. Meanwhile babe be saving that money o. Put in in a FD account. I am saying this cos I know u will not leave him as u have kids. At least use the money soothe ur mind. And pls do not live ur life just for him. Have ur own interests and life. Good luck
ReplyDeleteLots of sensible pieces of advise here. My own take
ReplyDeleteUse this period to obtain as much from him as possible. If he can rent hotel room for snagging then he's rich enough.
Please always check yourself for stds and random hiv tests as frequently as possible. Infact i think you should invest in HIV post exposure prophylaxis. Its for your health.
Don't keep quiet about this,you may not necessarily inform his mum but look for the person he respects most in his family and tell the person. Remember if the shoe is on the other leg he will do the same thing. I day will come when you will offend him that person will always remind him of how hes offended you before.
Last but not the least please if you dont have a job find one to do or ask him to invest for you. And dont leave your marital home for now please.
All the best. May God give you wisdom to negotiate this stormy sea
most people here are hypocrites, this woman should not leave her marriage yet y'all advices tontho to leave her marriage? why? because she is a celeb?
ReplyDeletePoster Abeg work on your marriage o, at least give it your best shot before you decide to leave
If you must become a private investigator (PI), leave the baby at home with a sitter or nanny. Why put the baby's life and safety at risk? For what exactly? Very likely, you knew the character of the man during courtship and b/4 tying the knot. So, none of his cheating ways should upset you bcos it's the contract you signed up for. Now, make your mind up whether to stay and keep whining OR go to save yourself and sanity. Make a choice, woman and spare us this old, jaded and meaningless sob stories. NMTA
ReplyDelete