STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
CONFUSED ON THE NEXT STEP TO TAKE
Good day Mrs korkus,
I am in love with a man I have known for over 10years,I met him when I was 17 years old, still seeking admission into the higher institution.
By the time I got admission, he was out of the country.
I will be 28 years old in February.
We kept in touch, we were still dating.
Couple of times, we had issues which we sorted out and moved on.
I got into relationships that didn't work,but my bf and I were still dating .
The reason for this chronicle is as we speak, I am confused as to what to do.
The distance has not been so cool to us, though, I love distance relationship but right now, it is tiring.
I applied to go to the USA last year but I was denied, I wanted to go for vacation,so I can at least see my man.
He hasn't come home since he left and it's been over 5years, I no longer find this funny as I want to spend time with my man.
He could not send me an invite as he was supposed to come home at some point after he left but he couldn't at the time because of finances.
He won visa lottery, that's how he got to the USA.
If he sends an invite, his history will be traced as to when he was supposed to come home and didn't, which is disobedience to the law. I do not want to jeopardise his education as he's still schooling.
I have a job and I also have my own thing which I am passionate about.
I am in a dilemma as to whether to invest in my career (as my dad finally agreed to get me some money to start my own thing) or put my acts together and go to the USA to be with my man.
He is unable to come home because of the financial commitment as he's paying his school fees himself with no support from home.
My dad is ready to support me but do I invest in my career or go abroad to be with my man.
Please, be aware that love is not the issue here, I love him, and he loves me so much that I think I don't deserve that much love.
He sends me money every month for my upkeep and takes care of my need.
I want more than the money, gadgets, surprises.
I want to be with him.
Please, use your red pen and advise me like your own sister.
Thank you for your time, I'll be reading comments.
To all the bvs, I see all the drama, the constructive criticism and the harsh ones.
Mrs korkus, I love you, and NO, it is no ass licking. You have a good heart, and you are amazing in every way that there is,you don't even know it.
Thank you.
God bless you and yours.
Good day Mrs korkus,
I am in love with a man I have known for over 10years,I met him when I was 17 years old, still seeking admission into the higher institution.
By the time I got admission, he was out of the country.
I will be 28 years old in February.
We kept in touch, we were still dating.
Couple of times, we had issues which we sorted out and moved on.
I got into relationships that didn't work,but my bf and I were still dating .
The reason for this chronicle is as we speak, I am confused as to what to do.
The distance has not been so cool to us, though, I love distance relationship but right now, it is tiring.
I applied to go to the USA last year but I was denied, I wanted to go for vacation,so I can at least see my man.
He hasn't come home since he left and it's been over 5years, I no longer find this funny as I want to spend time with my man.
He could not send me an invite as he was supposed to come home at some point after he left but he couldn't at the time because of finances.
He won visa lottery, that's how he got to the USA.
If he sends an invite, his history will be traced as to when he was supposed to come home and didn't, which is disobedience to the law. I do not want to jeopardise his education as he's still schooling.
I have a job and I also have my own thing which I am passionate about.
I am in a dilemma as to whether to invest in my career (as my dad finally agreed to get me some money to start my own thing) or put my acts together and go to the USA to be with my man.
He is unable to come home because of the financial commitment as he's paying his school fees himself with no support from home.
My dad is ready to support me but do I invest in my career or go abroad to be with my man.
Please, be aware that love is not the issue here, I love him, and he loves me so much that I think I don't deserve that much love.
He sends me money every month for my upkeep and takes care of my need.
I want more than the money, gadgets, surprises.
I want to be with him.
Please, use your red pen and advise me like your own sister.
Thank you for your time, I'll be reading comments.
To all the bvs, I see all the drama, the constructive criticism and the harsh ones.
Mrs korkus, I love you, and NO, it is no ass licking. You have a good heart, and you are amazing in every way that there is,you don't even know it.
Thank you.
God bless you and yours.
*Go Abroad to be with your man or go abroad to visit him and come back?Hmmm I am a sucker for love and if you say he is in love with you and wants you to be with him and you sef sure say if you reach there no be voice mail you go meet then begin go but if you are not sure of what you will meet there,do not go.
Five years is a long time and that time changes people,do not take a risk on money that can be used productively
All that story when you talk concerning his not being able t come,na who yarn you all that?say them go trace wetin?Maybe anyone who has ever won visa lottery has educate us on that.
Cool down and plan wisely,weigh your options before you enter road my dear.
Good luck and thanks for your nice words.
Is well....
ReplyDeletePoster pls invest in your career. That might just be your saving grace in future. Visit your boo and find out 1st if he's worth relocating for.
DeleteDesperado
DeleteHe won a visa lottery means he has the right to remain in the the U.S indefinitely. So what do you mean by he was supposed to leave the country at a time and he didn't, hence he would be traced if he invited you? That explanation isn't clear to me.
DeleteThe only thing that can disqualify his invitation is his finance. He has to have a job and enough money in the bank to entertain any visitor. That's the only reasonable argument my dear.
This does not make sense to me. I won visa lottery in 2006 and travelled to america 2008. Came back to Nigeria 2009 to get married. I dont understand tracing he is talking abt. With visa lottery, you can only stay outside America not more than 6months in a yr. Why can't he file fiance visa for you? Why his he not getting financial aid? Madam na one chance you don enter. He needs to tell you the truth. All the reasons he is given you all are all bull crap. Receive sense my dear
Deletechronicle of life!
ReplyDeleteAkuko ifo
DeleteDon't you have friends or relative abroad? Let them go and check and investigate as to whether he is still single, whether he is really schooling etc. He may have married for paper do can't bring you. After thorough investigation if all is well you can go there.
DeleteSha be careful o. If you invest your all to be with him and he gets caught up with the law, it might be a loss for you.
DeleteYou are kinda right anonymous 20:22. But he couldn't have married for papers if he won a visa lottery na. But he may be in a new relationship though.
DeleteShift for me Stella nwunye Korkus make I follow u enta thinking mode
ReplyDelete*takes space*
DeleteYou've been denied US visa. News? I was denied twice and finally given last year. The two times I was denied even with my company's sponsorship documents, bank statements etc (for training). Last year I randomly applied and got, with my own account statement and a simple invite from my uncle. So imagine if I didn't apply because I've been denied twice? 😊 Don't be discouraged lIke that oh. In life you keep trying. Calm down for some time and Apply again.
If you're going to visit the guy go as a guest and see him FIRST. Don't go as if 'I no dey return again'. 10 years is a lot of time and people change.
Option 2: Go and do a masters in the state he's in (if you don't already have one) that way you kill two birds with one stone- three birds sef. Lol.
Option 3: Go and do a short course (related to your business plan). Pay for it. Prayerfully apply. And you should be given. That way you get to see him and get to know the NEW him. Love blind love blind.... my dear, wear glasses and a thinking cap. Inugo? My point is: See him make your body cool down. If after that the love is the same then you can proceed with future plans.
And what's this about winning visa lottery and not returning within a certain time frame? My uncle won lottery over 20 years ago and he hardly comes home. So I'm wondering. Can anyone explain this better? I'm not really into living abroad so I'm lost on all these citizenship details.
*hugs* Remember: No pressure! I'm 28 too. Big deal? Lol.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteChikito, been quietly admiring u through ur comments on here. What state will u be visiting and when? Would love to meet up with u.
DeleteHi chic chic. I look out for your comments. Continue to be you and pay no mind to your adversaries. Bye
DeleteAnon 02:06- maybe around mid-year. Thinking summer when I would have saved up. I'd be visiting:Texas, then New York and North Carolina. If I can I'd do Hawaii.
DeleteWhere do you live?
@smart move: 👍👊
No ass kissing but chikito is d realest maam here
DeleteHe sends you money and gadgets but is unable to come home due to his finances?
ReplyDeleteI am truly not understanding
Yeah! Someone could be lying.
DeleteQuicksilver you get brain! I don't have strength for epistle today
DeleteSince u can afford to travel, oya go make we rest, I just hope the story will not be different when u finally get there,love alone cannot sustain a relationship
ReplyDeleteABROAD HUSBAND TORY DEY SWEET
ReplyDeleteNa ontop dick you wan die?
ReplyDeleteWhat if you get there and realize he married a white woman for papers and you're abandoned?
Invest in your career, hangout with people. If he is truly your God ordained man, things will sort itself out and you guys will be together.
I hate women giving up them selves for a temporary course. This is where you should apply Feminism.
Build your Empire, your man will value you more when he comes back to meet a "Brand" and not a man Hunter!
Good luck to you
Mrs Adviser #wehdonema!!now I see why your advises are always aggressive,because you don't even have a man or know what love means..is it by force to advise??this your advise na wa o!!
DeleteBless you for this
DeleteSee who hates women giving up on themselves! Lol. You ideato that doesn't even have a self apart from staff bus is talking down on someone else. Like you life doesn't depend on getting a boo. Abeg shift with your advise.
DeleteI'm not a fan of lolo, but that is a very good advice, listen to her biko.!
DeleteThis Ideato is really answering her name, don't think she read the chronicles before commenting maybe next time try reading please before you comment and don't be an IDIOT
DeleteAnonymous. You're simply bitter
Delete@ijebubae 😘😘😘
Ideato adaa gi ya..Anonymous 16:41 elekwasi gi ngaji oku 🔥😂😂😂
DeleteHe won the lottery, meaning he has his papers already. He doesn't need a white woman for that.
Delete@Nobi what if he lied about d lottery
DeleteHmmmmmmm Sdk has said it all. I am sure he's already into another relationship over there or flings cos five years is a long time mehn. I hail people that do distant relationship o plenty. Me can't! Wish you luck sha.
ReplyDeletemy dear,u re dating ur self!
ReplyDeleteYou want to waste your dad's money just for one prick? How sure are you that the guy is still single over there? You better invest in your career and move on with your life, fine another Bobo here but still keep your obodo oyibo boo incase of anything.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm.
ReplyDeleteInvest on urself first my dear when u're well grounded at least u could go visit then come back.
There's nothing as good as being independent dear.
Good luck
Are you a learner?
ReplyDeleteInvest in your carrier.
Love can come later.
Invest in your carrier and reap disease
DeleteCareer
Deletewhat I'm smelling is bad!
ReplyDeletecoz u feel you are ageing and need to get married you suddenly started having the urge to go stay with your man. all i see all through you write up is "my man" "my man" stopeet! you can't be sure he is your man until you get there and see things koro koro.
Candy Yum Yum I laff so hard wen I got to d part u said "my man my man stopeet"!😂😂😂😂😂😂. I don't know why some women reason da way dey do. How can I use my father's money to go look for a man? Money am supposed to establish myself with and make me a better person? Madam poster, If the guy loves you da way u claim he shud have sent money to you to join him a long time ago.
DeleteDoesn't he have relatives in Nigeria who can come ask for ur hand on his behalf? Even if he grew up in an orphanage, there shud be at least one person he calls family back home. What do you plan to do once u get there (assuming u decide to ignore all the good advice u gonna get here)? What if he only sounded lovey dovey on the phone but deep down he's already tied down over there? what if.....?
Lol @candy.
Delete@Fancy Please no asking hand on behalf. That things don cause wahala. Cos if agbada h9ok relatives will form 'not knowing'. Either he comes or she goes. Since her body is scratching her let her go. When she goes we will know the rest. And Yea, I smell pressure too. The same one y'all put single women (who care to be bothered 👀) under. Duuh!!!
Chai you can NEVER BUY SENSE AT ALL...my dear why are you putting your eggs in one basket? Men are all the same, he is definitely dating someone if not married over there. The sorry wey he give you does not make sense at all at all.
ReplyDeleteHmm this tory be as e get sha...5 years? Women are configured like that sha...
ReplyDelete*Paul planted, Appollos watered BUT #God GAVE the increase! *
U r on a long thing.
ReplyDeletesay the truth.
ReplyDeletein those 5 years he has been away, have you been completely faithful to him? if not, let the young man go!
Abi now, shey nobody gbenshed you since that five years ?.. LOL
DeleteHealthy Ikpu on point hahaha
DeleteIs he alright with your coming over?..if he is,then no problem. ..Get your things and go get your love. .Goodluck
ReplyDeleteMy man this, my man that. God will help you o.. Lol
ReplyDeleteseriously she was just shouting "my man" upandan. the man wey fit don hook another babe.
DeleteKwakwakwa ehen she wants y'all to know he is hers
DeleteOkay o. Poster, swear say nobody gbenshed you since all these years ? I just dey look you.. Lol
DeleteMy friend your man don get another babe over there. Just go and do your education or do business. Get plan b and leave everything in God's hands. Your right man will locate you
ReplyDeleteAre u sure he is not in a serious relationship over there ???
ReplyDeleteEven of he's that faithful his supposed to be looking for how to be with you not you looking for that Owk! INVEST IN YOUR CARRIER
ReplyDeleteFollow your advice, invest in your english
DeleteJesu! *career*
DeleteStella the nosiru, eku dvise ooh, sucker for love sha....I comment my reserve on ur case.
DeleteUse ur money 4urself! Period!
ReplyDeleteDear poster, are you going to the US for a visit, or you're going permanently to stay? What works does he do? And how are you sure things will work out between you both after all these years of you both not seeing each other!
ReplyDeleteIf your dad is ready to sponsor your career (what you're passionate about), please let him. Because am not a fan of distance relationship, a lot happens behind the phone calls, live videos etc....
Be useful to yourself and be productive, instead of pumping money on a journey you're not 100% sure of! I don't see a way with that guy, because of his excuses. Why can't he send you an invitation? Don't forget, power will change hands tomorrow, and the new president (Donald Trump) is not a fan of immigrants. Be wise and careful about your decisions, don't be in a haste.
Maybe he is just settling u for d nude pix u send him once in a while
ReplyDeleteHmmmm!!!
ReplyDeletePoster wishing you all the best as you embark on this journey of love nwatintin..
Life itself is a risk,you can put your resources together and go for visitation.
Sanyinya....
I'd advice u to sit back and invest in your career. Love is good but u can't be too sure of what would happen to u when get the USA. Which man are even talking about? The one u haven't seen for the past 5 years? Your career sure pass abeg.
ReplyDeleteDon't know how a right thinking woman will leave her job and all she has to go be with a man that hasn't come home in years. Don't force a man to do the needful. Stay in your country and look for another person that knows your worth. Love isn't all about sending you money and all that crap you wrote, if he truly loves you he'll come home and pay your bride price. That man is married! Move on!
ReplyDeletePoster it seems you are just lonely that what is affecting you and not that you are really missing your boo,get a side boo that will keep you company,when your american boo is ready he will do the needful by taking you with him abroad.
ReplyDeleteI notice that you did not tell us how he his missing you badly too.
Girl you gave us two reasons why he hasn't come back home:
ReplyDelete1. disobedience to the law; when he was supposed to come back home
2. financial commitment to his studies
These are likely the "things" he told you and I am afraid they sound like lies or uninformed statements perhaps. I am in the USA through VISA lottery and at least I know that the first one does not hold! One with Legal permanent residence status can visit anywhere in the world and go back to the states whenever; only that he/she should not stay at least six months in a year for five years in the USA to be qualified for citizenship after five years. NOw that "your man" has stayed five years "without travelling out", he ought to have his passport now and can go anywhere without restrictions to return to the states.
Did you see the evidence of his winning visa lottery or he simply told you so and you believed? If the later, then be wise; a lot of Nigerians here who came on visit or other visas get married to citizens to get papers and they do so after five years and such arranged marriages are illegal and ungodly too.
When you say "I want more than the money . . . I want gadgets (from a "student"), I want to be with my man . . . "
Are you sure this man is "your man?"
Don't you think that you are placing your priorities wrongly especially what sounds "materialistic" and like tendency to greed?
Shouldn't this man be more interested in visiting and seeing you than you do at the moment?
Does "Love" seek its own?
Shey you are reading poster...
DeleteMy thots exactly on the first reason he gave her.infact d guys disposition reeks of lies.
DeleteYou just saved me the stress of telling her all that. Thank you. He is lying about something. Either he did not win the lottery and had to marry a citizen or he actually win the lottery and is exploiting your ignorance. Spend investment money to go be with "your man"! How can you even consider that?
DeleteEhen! I thought so too... ahn ahn. My uncle came home after 8 years the first Time and he only came to marry. The next year he came to pick his wife to join him. Shikena. they haven't even visited since then.
DeletePoster please do your research well. That part of the story got me a bit confused. However, I suggest you quietly get a visa and show up at his doorstep. I have a feeling that the love go clear and it's just distance making you mushy.
You know this
Deleteshey your fada give you money to start biznes but your mind they ask you to carry am go abroad to go see your man..you try o....do the right thing . if the money was meant for you to start a business please use the money for starting up your business..do things rightly and everything will fall in place. you can find a way to go visit your abroad guy...or perhaps stay over there with him but please make sure you set up your business first....my own opinion shal
ReplyDeleteshey your fada give you money to start biznes but your mind they ask you to carry am go abroad to go see your man..you try o....do the right thing . if the money was meant for you to start a business please use the money for starting up your business..do things rightly and everything will fall in place. you can find a way to go visit your abroad guy...or perhaps stay over there with him but please make sure you set up your business first....my own opinion shal
ReplyDeleteI hope you are not planning to squander your father's hard earned money to go and VISIT your so called man? That would be highly direspectful of you and very foolish. Try to secure your future by bettering your finances and make your parents proud. Are there no men here that can marry you? I understand the love you have, but it is unhealthy. As for the man, sorry your man, I smell a big, mighty, dirty rat. Enough said.
DeleteGirl, you sound greedy and the "I want to go abroad type"
ReplyDeleteThis man may as well be married there
Send the signal that you are "moving on with your life" and see if he runs back
If he does, then he is clean if not move without looking back
All I see na man man man. Sister I feel for you, but my advice to you is to get your acts together and face your life. Get your own steady income and when a man who loves you and is ready to wife you comes along, jump the broom. Help yourself ooo. Time waits for no man.
ReplyDeleteI smell a rat....Once you have gained entry to the US as a legal permanent resident, you can travel as you please plus he does not need a visa to make a trip to his birth country.Google is your friend madam.
ReplyDeleteYea a legal PR can travel whenever. So that part of the story get as e be. 😔
DeleteGoogle is her friend o jare!
DeletePlease who is your man? you said that so many times that i began to wonder if you were in a context with some one over this guy (more like you are imposing your self on him), he has financial constrains yet he sends you money and gadgets, you met him at 17 and now you are 28, you have been in several relationships while dating "your man" quite confusing, I think you are desperate to get married and after trying your luck here without success you now want to take this last gamble. If he is that broke to come back then he wont be comfortable to receive you and besides 5years is a long time for you to imagine what would have changed, "your man" might be married with kids. Face your life and future and stop building castles in your head.
ReplyDeleteHow do they trace someone that was suppose to visit and didn't? Through airline abi voicemail? I am amazed how people fall for every line thrown at them.
ReplyDeleteA desperate woman will believe anything
DeletePoster is a learner, no need to even put mouth
DeleteMy man my man person dey follow u drag am? First of all go for a visit before thinking of relocating permanently!
ReplyDeleteIf it is a visit go and see how much he has change. u can extend the visit to observe him better.If it is about packing to BE with your man i say NO. And i hope story dont touch when you get there or when you are ready to visit.Use your money wisely and when the mony reproduces you can chose to spend it anyhow ( abroad trips).meanwhile once is diaspora babes hardly let men go. Let me quickly mention it that my nieghbour's guy was giving her similar reasons for not visiting only for her to know last year that the guy is marrid to a white woman and has two kids which he said it was all 4 paper purpose. After a long wait by my neighbour. Be wise lady.
ReplyDeleteMadam. I hope u r loyal to him and no other man has seen ur nakedness or tasted ur Toto this past 5 years.
ReplyDeleteUse ur head and weigh ur options accordingly.
ReplyDelete@Tee_y
Invest ur fathers money where u are sure it will yeild, u can travel later when u ve establised in your carrer. Love no dey run, u may travel now and find out that it did not fvour you what will you fall back on, so invest and trAvel for visit then from there u guys can decided on what to do. GOod luck
ReplyDeleteIf i where u, i will invest that money in my business and hold on for him to decide if he wants me to come which by then it will be on his account and it will be appreciated by then, that is if he is not married yet and just lying to you because all this tory too long for my ears. more so i just feel it is better he finds you doing something and not having the impression that he is coming to meet a liability. just my thinking.
ReplyDeletePoster if you were married already I would have advised you joined him there. But now you are not even engaged,but dating.
ReplyDeleteSo you want to leave your job and all that is going well for you,just to go and live with a boyfriend. That is too risky. What if things go south over there? You will be homeless,cashless and jobless except you have it all figured out.
Dear poster reason this very well o. Why not stay here, continue with you job and life. When he is ready let him come and do the needful,that is if you will be patient enough to wait for him.
Cashless 😂😂
DeleteShe will be running a personalised cashless system 😂😂 abroad based.
Sorry but that part got me
Why can't he invite you to another country like Kenya or Ghana or maybe Dubai? Must it be in the US?
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteAlexandre beggy beggy!i tot u said u wld neva visit stellas blog again?u don tire? Shameless beggars! Beta go to madam banana Islands blog mk she give u from her ten million dash!Oniranu oshi! Awon oniyeye!
DeleteAlexandre beggy beggy!i tot u said u wld neva visit stellas blog again?u don tire? Shameless beggars! Beta go to madam banana Islands blog mk she give u from her ten million dash!Oniranu oshi! Awon oniyeye!
DeleteSorry to say this, but I think your guy is lying about his status. You can travel out with a green card, but can't stay out for more than six months I think. Secondly, what does he mean by trace his history? Hian! Looks like he overstayed his welcome and is living here illegally meaning he did not win the visa lottery as he claims. So be very careful because as someone concluded earlier he is most likely married to someone else for papers
ReplyDeleteU cant stay out for more than one year actually.the guy is a liar.
DeleteUr man indeed.
The guy is a pathological liar.
DeleteThat guy is not into you. Did he promise to come back to you in few years and failed as a result of lack of fund? Why waste your time, mind, money in a man that might even have a child or married? Invest in your SENSE/CAREER and stop chasing shadows. Be open to love and pray to God to give you signs if he's truly yours and stop disturbing your MIND over a guy.
ReplyDeleteNo use that money travel o.
ReplyDeleteNne ur man is married over der! Just diplomatically move on!besides ur story is very incoherent!very inconsistent!wch one is he sends u money and gadgets!yet he can't pay for his flight down to nigeria?Nne give ur self brain na!inshort let me tell u,u dating urself!dat guy has a serious relationship over der!he shd stop giving u flimsy excuses biko!MOVE. ON! In guys are scarce for u to get,apply for stellas S/M wen next it comes up!maybe love mite find u on her blog,u never can tell u know!be very free to move around,go to nice places and hang out! Call a friend if u don't want to hang out alone,to hang out with u! Be very active on social media!be on instagram, twittnever can er and facebk!put nice pictures on ur profile, u neva can tell who mite like ur pics! I wish u goodluck!
ReplyDeleteanon15:20 may God bless you. My thoughts exactly, green card holders are not required to go back to their country after sometimes but cannot stay out of US for more than 6 months prior to getting their citizenship. Abeg poster wise up, what kind of school is he attending? only if it is medical school then it can be justified that he can't come home because of school work and not for finances. Most students work and go to school and they can also get loans if they truly want to. You don enter 1 chance
ReplyDeletePoster please one question, who told you embassy go grant u visa again if you apply? What will be ur reason for going? Then when u get there, wetin u and bros go dey do every day? Fuck? Or when he goes to school what will u be doing? And the lie about tracing him, he just lied to u coz that's not true. Most visa lottery winners use their last vard to buy ticket so why will the govt expect u to come back to ur home country again???? Meanwhile this means he can't even fole for u, meaning no job for u as u'll depend on him then another case of Okebata will happen abi? Better sit ur ass down in Nigeria and get a business for urself. Him the man should go about getting u the proper way.
ReplyDeleteTaah! They can grant anyone a visa after refusal. Not an issue.
DeleteMy cousins hubby entered USA through lottery and he Invited her after two years. Not bc he isn't a citizen yet but bc he wanted to arrange his life b4 d wife joins. This is bc once u win USA lottery. U are a citizen automatically. So stop allowing a man use it brain. And. Citizens can travel and come back as u wish.
ReplyDeleteIf he agrees willingly for you to visit then go but if he gives you reasons or refuses, please use your money to establish yourself and look for love here.
ReplyDeleteposter it's obvious your man is not being sincere with you as long as you are legal abroad you can travel anytime for a specific period btw 5yrs is a long time are you really sure you guys are still compatible cos human change o anyway goodluck in your decision.
ReplyDeleteI also came with lottery,the tracing blah blah story does not add,I come to naija 2x a year when my man was there,with a green card he can travel anytime but can't be out of usa 4 6mths,I understand the lack of cash,for school ,he can get financial aid and student loan like me,ask questions before u come usa to see him o.
ReplyDeleteI wish i had a father that will believe in me so much to give me money to invest in myself.
ReplyDeleteDear poster: to say im disappointed in you is an understatement, you want to use your fathers hard earned money to gamble.lets even assume all he said was true,5 long years and you still think he is gona be the same man that left you in Nigeria. What if you got there and his behavior turned you off? What if he has bad habits that you cant cope with? What if you got there and realized he is married? What if you got there and he left you stranded because i have heard stories of babes that traveled to go meet thier men only for their numbers to become unreachable after they landed. Madam you better give yourself brain, if you really dont have nothing much to do with money please invest in the lives of BVs. Instead of you to invest in yourself and become someone so great that the guy will break all the rules to come find you in Nigeria, you are busy shouting my man my man.
"I love him, and he loves me so much that I think I don't deserve that much love.He sends me money every month for my upkeep and takes care of my need"
ReplyDeleteLol. There's caring for someone and loving someone, madam.
That you can even consider giving up an opportunity to better yourself career wise just to go be with "My man" you last saw over 5 years ago...na wa o. You clearly have no inkling how much time changes people.
Good luck though.
MISS Jacobs.
My dear to be honest, the excuses you made for your bf or that he made you believe do not align. I live and practice in the US, and presently in Nigeria. I come home as much as it is possible for me (opportunity wise).
ReplyDeleteAlthough it was tough settling down and doing stuff, but I found my path. Yet unmarried. I sense something other than you and more seriously important than you could be holding him up.
If you were my sister or a friend, I'd advice you invest in yourself, then if your efforts start bearing fruits and the harvest is good. You could apply again for holiday.
The vision should be clearer for you then. To decide what you know the truth is and not what you think the truth is now.
For me I think it's a 50/50 thing, "your-man" prolly came into this country with a visit visa, because I don't think he'd have any problem travelling out of the US if he got in via lottery. And since it's been 5years he should a US citizen by now. I don't think travelling to the US to see your man and sort out your relationship with him should be a problem ID only advise don't base all your travelling plans on him, let it be that your travelling purpose to the US is 100% business and you could just seize the opportunity to see him since your dad is ready to help you with a start up capital. I'd advise you go back to your drawing table, think of people you know here in the US , how they can help you, and stuffs you can buy to sell in Nigeria because you know he possibly could be married.
ReplyDeleteNow my questions for u
1. Does your man in question want you to come and visit him
2. What measures has he taken to have you over, cos with your write up he can invite you himself
3. Is he talking about commitments and a possible marriage? Hmmmm before you waste your money on a baseless trip.
4. Is the gifts and money a constant thing? You know you can only deceive yourself not us...to me I think it's just "sit still" money and gifts with all the lie lie has dished and served you with.
Thanks poster your answer back is highly anticipated.
ReplyDeleteTired of reading comments poster even your Boo get Boo
Stories that touch! Lol.
ReplyDeleteStories that touch! Lol.
ReplyDeleteHe is either lieing about winning visa lottery or he doesn't want to invite you. If he didn't win a lottery and went on a visiting visa, he will only expose himself as his stay/schooling with an expired visiting visa is illegal.
ReplyDeleteOnce you win a lottery and you are granted the visa in Nigeria, you become a permanent resident the minute you touch down at any American airport/border. Your permanent resident card will be mailed to the address you give them at the airport/border and you are free to leave and enter the US as you please without visa. If you plan to stay outside the US for more than one year at a stretch, you will need to complete a form notifying them before travelling else immigration may decide you are not genuinely resident in America and may deny you entry on your return (this rarely happens, but is the law). A permanent resident can then apply for citizenship after 5 years provided he/she spent a minimum of 6 months in each of those 5 years in the US.
You must have read loads of advise on how important it is for a woman to have a source of income before getting hitched so build your career instead of spending your fathers funds to go look for a man who hasn't been honest with you by not telling you his exact status in the US. At the end of the day, it is your decision but bear in mind that America is a hard place to live as an illegal immigrant without money. The places that will hire you will pay you less than minimum wage. Depending on the city, you may not be able to get around without a car and so on.
Call him and ask him if he really won the lottery visa, When he will finish school, if he really wants you to come visit or is posting you. His answer will help you make your decision. All the best.
My dear poster,don't get carried away,focus on your career then apply for a course to the is and pay him a surprise visit,they won't deny you if you are goin for a course!
ReplyDeletefind yourself a nigerain boyfriend and all this love love of going upandan to see man will go down.U hear?
ReplyDelete