Chronicle Of Blog Visitor Narrative...

This is serious!

STAND ALONE NARRATIVE....

WICKED MOTHER IN LAW

Hi Stella, words cannot express how grateful I am to have found your blog. My narrative will be a long one and I apologize in Advance to all the yorubas in house.

 I lost my parents as a teenager,and two siblings few years later. with the help of my relations and friends, i was able to graduate from the university.during my service year, i met the most wonderful man i had ever come across in life,meanwhile prior to that time, i had only had sex one time which was more or less a rape because even though i consented to it at the beginning, when the pain was becoming unbearable i pleaded with my then boyfriend to stop but he refused and forced himself into me after which i got up and left never to return.

 Meeting my new boyfriend turned my life around 360 degrees because he had all the money in the world to spoil me silly, he texted me like his life depended on it and was very caring. he was not based in his village where I was serving but only came for Christmas. After his visit, we continue to communicate and he was visiting frequently until he finally proposed but I said, and my only reason was his tribe.

 Mind you we are both yorubas, but I was born and bred in the north, and my dad was engrossed with his religion that he would always tell us that his first culture was the bible. We were brought up to vehemently refuse any cultural practice that opposes the bible. 

Some of my people will call me "omo ale" for what I am about to say but the fact is I was not, I am not and will never be comfortable with some of the curses and abuses yorubas rain on their children all in the name of discipline. As a result of this, my heart desire was never to marry from my tribe. But my man was too good a human to let go. I decided to do some research on him, and being a small village made my work easier.

 Everybody I spoke with said the most amazing things about my husband, but the only "comma" was with his mom. I was told how several girls end up dumping him when they could no longer cope with his mom's troubles and that was the reason he was nearing 40 and still not married.

 My landlord specifically told me the only reason my guy was deciding on a foreigner was because he knew no woman would agree to marry him with the kind of mother he had because they do not even marry from the neighboring village . I spoke to my pastor about the matter, and he advised me to get to know her personally and at least smell some signs before I gave up a good guy because of rumors. 

On meeting this woman, the world just seemed to be lying to me, she was very caring and accommodating, and she became the mother I lost. Little did I know that mama had her plans. 

After so much persistence, I decided to agree to my Man's proposal but laid out my concerns which he himself confirmed and promised that the only way his mother will be a problem is if we live near her. We both agreed to to keep both of our families out of our marriage. He immediately made arrangement with my PPA for me to leave and be only coming to sign every month. He was paying my Proprietor and LGI for the rest of my service year, he rented a one bedroom flat for me in the state capital and through his friends I was able to get a private school teaching job because I refused to follow him to his base until he married me.

 We got married one year after my service year, and for the five years we have lived together, it has been paradise on earth until mama became sick and needed someone to look after her. two of her daughters live in the same village with her but because my husband is the first son and the breadwinner of the family, and also for quality medical attention, mama had to come live with us.

 I had to take an emergency unpaid leave from work. This same caring woman changed and became impossible to please. She would make me prepare meals after meals only to end up thrashing them. At first I felt it could be loss of appetite due to the sickness until I realized mama was not sick after all. 

My husband's job demands that he works different shifts each week, and mama will only lie on the bed sick when he is at home, but the moment he is gone, she comes down and start looking for faults here and there, she would sing proverbial songs and danced, she list all she wants, go out and be gossiping with the neighbours, and when it few minutes to my husband's return, she would come in and start accusing me of not taking care of her, she would refuse all the food, and I will have to start all over, she insults my background and tells me how her son is my messiah. 

She is very manipulative and tried to push me to misbehave so she would have something against me, but that did not work, at a point mama resulted to cooking up stories, but thank God My husband knew her better. Unfortunately I fell into mama's trap.

 My husband told me that after preparing the variety of foods mama wants for the night, I should immediately go to bed and lock my door, that way I will not have to go the kitchen again when she starts complaining. I went with this and did not have to prepare second meals for one week, on this night mama came knocking as usual and started raining curses, but I refused to open the door, not knowing that mama had successfully disposed the food I prepare without a trace, my guess is that she flushed them.When my husband returned At 12 am, mama reported that I had refused her food and that she was diying and crawled to my door begging for help but I refused to open, she had to run to neighbors for help, and they gave her some pain relieve.

 For the first time,I saw the other side of my husband, he said some hurting words to me, reminded me of the state I was when we met, and ended with

"eni tio ni iru eni kole mo iyi eni". 

The next morning I told him I wanted to resume work, and that he should go and look for "eni to ni iru eni" that will help take care of his mom better. He grabbed me and started hitting me,dragged me on the floor and left me with a black eye, little did I know that the insults from the previous day were just introduction, he said my family has bad luck that is why they die like chickens, he went up and started packing everything he ever bought for me, promised to seize my car, and threatened to kill me. When he left I spoke in anger to his mom, called her names, and told her to marry her son.

 Stella mama left yesterday, I have moved to the guest room pending when I leave. My husband has apologized severally, but even if I forgive him, I can never imagine myself having sex with him again, or sleeping beside someone who has threatened to kill me. 

Can marriage without sex, and living apart work? I hate divorce.

*Hmmm this is serious,what does the highlighted word up there mean?The one you repeated that made him give you a black eye..

Your MIL succeeded in what she came to do....do you want to let her win?...I cannot stand Violence both physically and verbally so i understand you,more especially that once the beating starts,it MIGHT NEVER STOP:

I fi have to be honest i would say what i have to say and ask you to leave temporarily before the Cookie crumbles but before you do go on your knees and pray to break the wicked spell your MIL might have cast around her son cos it is is not ordinary at all.

Do not let her win....Do not give her Victory.

Good luck.