Service Year Boulevard 28

Sweet story...This is exactly the way a teacher makes notes and takes note of every detail..*Beyonce Hands in the air*

Hello House,

Abeg make I follow send my own NYSC Boulevard to show say I follow serve. lol

N.B: it’s a verrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry long read. So enjoy. Abeg my people make una pardon my bad grammar. No be English language I study, na numbers, formulas, graphs and symbols etc I take learn for school.


Service period: November 2014-September 2015

I went to check my State of posting and saw Ogun

I was excited cos I have been praying seriously to be posted to a nearby state so I can help mumsy cater for my less than one-year-old nephew whose mother died while birthing.

Few days to NYSC, story change oooooo, that those posted to Ogun are to camp in Kwara.

I felt it in my spirit that they were about to use us for NYSC POLITRICS

We later found out they used us to compensate our then NYSC State Coordinator for been a’Humble Lamb’

Note: The more Corp Members he has in his state, the more money goes to his pocket, so we heard from insiders.

The D day finally came and I headed off to Kwara, precisely Yikpata camp.

Got there, did the necessary registration and settled to camping life


Room Mates: Had the craziest room-mates you can think of


Food: Food was as bad as anything you can think of. I even ate their semo and okro soup, fainted and saw myself on their hospital bed, opened my eyes and turned, behold my Bunkie was lying at the adjacent side of the bed, I asked her why she is admitted, she said she ate semo and draw soup too. Lol.

Mami Market became my best spot after that experience, I no fit shout.


Friends: Made a lot of friends, the good, the bad and the ugly.

Activities: participated in March pass and cooking competition. You need to see me marching left when they say right. March pass no be here oooo


Other Activities: I attended a programme called PET (Peer Education Trainee). This is the best programme NYSC has ever come up with. It’s educative, informative, eye opener, just name it. I shine for that programme, no be small oo. All the guys just they rally round me.


SAED: I didn’t participate while in camp but did so after camping.

(don’t get it twisted, am not a beauriful somborri, guess they saw something else that will get you even interested. lol). Although am very much presentable #tongue out#


Camp Happenings: a lady was sent home after someone called her husband to inform him his wife had had s3x with Corp members. She was caught in the act.

Camping Environment: it was nothing to write home about, toilets were a no go area, bathroom nko (yimu), snake just they pass us like say them be our next door neighbour. You even needed to turn over your shoes before wearing it so that you and snake no go put leg for one shoe.


NYSC Uniform: a lot of us were disappointed to get trousers and shoes that looked like Mama Nnuku sexy boxer.

Note: we filled our clothes and shoes sizes (measurement) online before heading for NYSC so you could imagine our disappointment.


Some Scenario: Met just one of my course mates in camp, he didn’t fail to call me out every night to hang out. On one of such outings, I met one beautiful and yet obese lady who asked me if I smoke, I said no, she said even common cigarette, I still said no. Shock was written all over her face as she confessed she has never met a big gal who doesn’t smoke.


Posting: As a good girl that I is na. lol. I no fit give soldiers my bumbum, especially one mango head man wey no gree me drink water drop cup. I jejely go meet the second in command of my platoon, a lady. I told her some stories. She agreed to post me to where I will be able to manage.

I got posted to ASA local Government in Kwara state where I was to teach Physics in one of their comprehensive schools. Dont get it twisted, the story just began. See as una like tory. lol.


Got to my PPA, after much deliberations, agreed to stay and was to teach Physics, did my registration and went home for Christmas Break


PPA: Nothing to attract one, except constant light. No toilet in the village, we still had to do ‘Short Put’ until we left the environment. I don’t want to even go into my ‘shitty experience’ cos if I do, your belle go tear with laff. I was sick a lot of times due to the environment and whenever I go to the clinic na so so laff the medical practitioners go dey laf me.


Medical Practitioners: Our baby corper don come again oooo( Everybody gathers round me). Corper W, stop crying, you will be fine.

Note: I can do like a baby for Africa when sick eeeeh, so tey my friends go dey mock me self.

But one good thing about it is that I never had a dull moment once I bounced back to good health.

One of the medical practitioners, an elderly female friend just told me to go home immediately after service cos the environment wasn’t friendly to me. I left immediately not minding the job I got in Ilorin.

Other Corp Members: met the most amazing people on earth, no money but great friends. I value good relationship a lot.

Students: Speaking the Yoruba language is their life. They virtually eat it. Maths is even thought in Yoruba. Lol

Students call corp members: Oga

Me: Abeg make una no call me oga, My name is Corper W

Barriers: the Corp members had a lot of barriers especially language, so many of them could not speak in Yoruba cos they are either Igbos or Hausas. I was lucky cos I was born in Lagos, and schooled in the East coupled with the fact that I’m Igbo.



Teachers: Male Teachers: and corps members were cats and rats cos them wan date Corpers and the corpers say them no go fit finish school for city come date village teachers especially as them be fine girls.lol


Another Experience: This is the only place a male teacher will flog a fine female student in school for refusing to date him and other female teachers will support him. I had to curb that with my PET programme


PET: I kicked started my PET programme, where I thought them HIV and AIDS, Morals, self-worth, Self Esteem and others and of cos with a lot of songs, folk plays and drama. A lot of the male teachers were not happy with me for spoiling their ‘shows’ but since I had the support of the School authority, LGA and NYSC as a whole, I wasn’t bothered.


Project: I didn’t do a project, but I did something that the school will not forget. I introduced scholarship into the school. 2 best students from each class get their school fees paid by me. This totalled 12 students each Term.


Note: I did this when I realized that over 90% of the students were not too bright. It was tough for us corp members but we had to give in our best. Plus, so many of them could not pay fees. Poverty is REAL.

I also introduced the news casting and reading on the assembly ground. Na there you go fear reading. Lol.

However, I wish at this point God blesses me with a good job to continue with the scholarship. Amen.

My friends will always ask me how I do this, while my mum will say I can give out my life for others and that she will choose me to be her daughter when she reincarnates. Mama W, I hail thee, two hands in the air 4 u. (My head is swollen. lol)

I didn’t achieve all these without the help of Corpers L,O,C,M,M,D,A,A. God bless you wherever you are. I love you from the depth of my heart. Three gbosas for all of una, Gbosa, gbosa, gbosa. Una head dey there.

Villagers: Not too friendly to corp members but I had the most amazing neighbours (villagers) ever. They were like family, ready to help and I made sure I reciprocated in every area I could. They still call me till this day. They will always tell me that I was the best corps member that ever lived with them (shines teeth).


Neighbours: Corper ile-wa, e k abo, se dada ni? Toor. My Ilorin peeps here can relate. Lol


Service BOOS: Met one corper friend that I was beginning to like when my boyfriend was busy with other women but the corper fucked up, I come kukuma give am red card before water pass garri. I also met a guy, H, I took him like a brother, after telling him I had a boyfriend, and that I don’t double date, we became quite close that even my then boyfriend knew him, but he tried raping me one day he visited while I was sick, I mustered all the strength I could get and pushed him out of my house.

Shebi to err is human and to forgive is divine: I forgave him after months of pleading but that was when I was about leaving town so that it won’t repeat itself. But that relationship was never the same again. Apart from the rape scenario, Mr. H was a great guy.


Businesses: I did a whole lot of businesses during my service year. I already made a promise that I will take care of my mum and little nephew( R boy, this is ur aunty W, writing, you know I love u. lol)after school and that she won’t spend a dime on me again. I sold wristwatches, had a lot of customers then, did a little job for WHO, Checked WAEC, participated in election and others. I was able to finance my little project of Scholarship, paid my medical bills, my rent, my mother’s rent and their upkeep from it. By the way my mum sells fruit so you can order. lol


N.B : Sweetim Stella, u sure say you no go open folder for Election brouhaha

 ( Story plenty ooo. Lol)

But my goods and phone were stolen by ‘OGAS AT THE TOP’ when I got to Lagos, so I had to stop. Bros I hail una oooo. I never still recover from that lost.


Ilorin Men: (Abeg make una no throw stones at me oooooooo) some of their men womanising no be here oooo. Even if you be woman wey blind, deaf, dumb, no yansh, no breast. Them go still chase you. I raise yansh for una oooooooo.


Bolaji: Ilorin people can bear the name ‘BOLAJI’ for Africa eeeeh. I get upto 35 Bolajis for my phone. So tey if I see a new ‘Bolaji’ I go jux tell am to give me a different name. lol

Free Ride: Abeg na me be their queen ooooooooo. I get Phd for that area even wen I just they come out from bank. Lol


Fun: Me and my girls rock Ilorin eeeeeh, name it. Where did we not go to?, just mention it. Infact I was their official cook for all the journeys. We even knew and went round the nook and cranny of the village taking memorable pictures. In fact one of my friends took one captivating picture which she entered with for a competition in Lagos although she didn’t win the star prize.


Headcount: hia, come see cry on head count day na, Corpers jux they run up and down, so tey my phone no rest, corpers call, CLO call, Asst LGI call. My head wan bust.


CLO: (phone rings) grrrrrrrrr, grrrrrrrrr, Corper W, where you dey.

Me: I dey house oooooooo

CLO: u no know wetin they happen Presido( As a CDS presido that I is na)?

Me: Wetin dey happen (meanwhile I was in Lagos to treat myself)

CLO: Headcount

Me: Abeg write my name

Asst LGI:(phone rings again) President, where are u.

Me: am at home. Infact I travelled to Lagos to treat myself make I no go die for NYSC

Asst LGI: y didn’t you take permission

Me: before them go permit me, shey I no go don die finish, anyway am sorry sir

Asst LGI: See me when you come back. (of cos na with something na)

He was one of the best men I ever met. God bless you, sir.

I had lots of fun during my service year that one book no fit contain am.

NB: this is exactly 13months I left NYSC and I have never fallen sick for one day. Ope oooooh

I saw poverty of people staring at my face, at times I just go to bed crying for God to give me the grace to put smiles on the faces of children and family I come in contact with. I didn’t do much but surely I and other wonderful corp members touched a lot of lives during our short stay in the village.


NB: I left the village two days after our POP promising the school to return when I get a good job. Of cos they are praying for me (dancing)


Dem wan even dash me village 'Horseband' so that i go stay. But who village horseband epp.lol


MY REWARD: Most of the students I tutored made good grades in Physics during WAEC. this was a reward for me. I was also able to teach them that they can achieve what they want once they are determined. Prior to this, the students couldn't write an exam without 'EXPO'.

NB: I taught SS1-3 Physics cos the school no even get 1 single science teacher. it's quite pathetic.


My leaving the village was an emotional one (crying, abeg JHW, bring ur tear tear pant come clean my tears).lol


Regrets: I regret that my love, my heart, my mentor, my first boyfriend, the one person who taught me that you don’t need to have the whole world to be a giver and my everything who doubles to be my dad was not alive to see me serve. He was the best thing that happened to me. I also regret that my late younger sis was not around to see me wear my Khaki (she contributed so much to my schooling with the promise that she will continue hers when I finish, Rest in peace my little baby.

Rest in peace dad and sis: I will make you guys proud, I promise.


Meanwhile, in the spirit of giveaway, I want to give out a token of 3k to a family or any of your neighbour, who the money will help cook a smallllllllllllllllll pot of rice for Xmas cos that’s all I can afford for now. Please don’t call if you don’t need the money, it’s my widow's might. 08064139215.

Una know say i don beg una from the beginning make una no curse my grammar. Thanks. lol

Sorry for the long epistle, God bless. Hope I didn’t bore you all (Dancing skelewu)

THE END.

*Hmmm your story sweet but i get feeling say you don take style do your singles mingles here as a smart girl that you is na...LOL