If you dont win on Saturday,theres a chance to win on Sunday.
If your gist is copied or made up please indicate...As long as it is funny no wahala.
If you post as Anonymous,you cannot lay claim to the gist if it wins.
I will announce the winner in the comment section as soon as BV beloved sends me the compilation.
Let me start laughing---Ikwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwakwa *side eyes at Droyalty*
Amnt laughing untill I get any sdk girl to chook
ReplyDeleteFOH! who your laugh epp? Mtcheww
Delete90% of iPhone selfies are taken in front of de
Deletemirror, Else, how will people know that they
have an iPhone.
Mc pinky
#Copied
ReplyDeleteThe Monkey Money Madness! (MMM)
Once upon a time in a village, a man appeared
and announced that he would buy monkeys for
N100 each. The villagers seeing that there were so
many monkeys around, went out to the forest
and started catching them.
The man bought thousands at N100 and as supply
started to diminish, the villagers stopped their
efforts. He further announced that he would now
buy at N200. This renewed the efforts of the
villagers and they started catching monkeys again.
Soon the supply diminished and people started
going back to their farms. The offer rate increased
to N250 but the supply of monkeys became so
little that it took much effort to even see a
monkey, let alone catch one.
The man now announced that he would buy
monkeys at N500! However, since he had to go to
the city on some business, his assistant would
now buy on his behalf.
In the absence of the man, his assistant told the
villagers: ''Look at all these monkeys in the big
cage that my OGA has bought from you, I will sell
them to you at N350 and when my OGA returns
from the city, you can sell it to him at N500''.
The villagers squeezed out all their HARD EARNED
savings and bought all the monkeys. The most
greedy ones among them even sold their lands to
purchase many MONKEYS, hoping to make a huge
profit without labor.
Then...
They never saw the man or his assistant. Only
monkeys everywhere!
Welcome to MMM. The world
*Larry was here*
Couldn't stop laughing!
ReplyDeleteChinwetalu Agu again!...that man is not helping matter o..
He came up this time with::::
" Parish Priest ewelu ego bazaar mee MMM"😆
....translated " parish priest has used bazaar money to do MMM !
DeleteWhen I see a big booty chick constantly
Deleteappearing on my timeline as "people you may
know" then I know that the devil is tempting me.
Not today idiot Satan.
Mc pinky
Hahahahaha
DeleteAunt stella all these jokes are so funny, I just dey laugh dey go, u mite find it hard dictating d winner.
DeleteLet the gist begin
ReplyDeleteThe fabrications u mean Lol
DeleteNa till tomorrow i come late
DeleteWhy don't you look for "Ashiii" joint in your area or are you so broke that you will be looking for osho free from a faceless blog.
ReplyDeleteI have a thing for sdk girls
DeleteActually doing dem a favor
Anonymous you are a bloody cow. Hope you get HIV in your quest.Evil ppl everywhere.
DeleteI haven't been myself since yesterday when I heard my neighbor's son saying;
ReplyDeleteCapital latter 1
Small latter 1
Capital latter 2
Small latter 2 🙄🙄
😂😂😂😂😂
School fees wasted.
Guys pls remember my niece 👧🏾 in prayers
She's writing her first exams tomorrow.
She's in nursery one and the subject is *colouring*...
Ghana man's niece did the same exam yesterday
DeleteBusy acting all Holy and postings 7days Bible
Deletechallenge using a phone bought by sugar
Daddy...... God is watching you.
Mc pinky
Lol
DeleteI hope she come out with flying colour#PrincessAriel
DeleteLol,@ capital letter 1
DeleteCapital latter one nailed it!
DeleteI can imagine that.
Bukipreety,same goes to you,dear. If you would spell 'letter' as 'latter',you would agree with me your school fees was also wasted!
Delete*Don't even come up with that auto correct blah blah blah*
#Flygirl
Capital letter 1....2....
DeleteKilled me 😂😅😅
#Copied
ReplyDeleteA guy mistakenly transferred N200k (out of N210k balance in his account) to a wrong account number via mobile money transfer. After thinking of a way to stop the person from withdrawing the money, he came up with an idea of sending a text message to the person's phone number saying:
"Hello dark and worthy initiate, I hope you're OK. I believe you have received the money I sent to you. It's for your initiation into the eternal mystical order of glorious satanism in the Ogboni fraternity scheduled to take place tomorrow at 12 midnight.
That money is only for your transport. I'll send you more for shopping. There are riches awaiting you in this kingdom. Two weeks after the initiation, a family member very close to your heart will die, this will unlock your ticket to wealth and you will have the ability to fly at night to any part of the world. Thanks in advance. But in case you're not ready to join, please send back the money immediately to avoid ur sudden death."
Five minutes later, he got an SMS saying:
"Please send another N200k, my friend is also interested. Nigerian economy has frustrated us too much." The man fainted......
Why copy
DeleteStale
DeleteSchool Group Photo...........
ReplyDeleteHeadmaster to Photographer: N20 is too much. There are 2000 students, Charge Only N10 its sufficient!!
�� Headmaster To Teachers "Please tell all the Kids to Bring N30 each - for their Group Photo tomorrow.
�� Teacher In Class to Kids: "Listen, all of you must Get N50 from home tomorrow for the photoshoot!!
.
Kids Discuss : �� These teachers are taking us for a ride, each photo is only N20. With the balance, they will order snacks & samosas & all have a Party and we get nothing!! There is No Honesty Nowadays!!
At home-
��The Naughty Kid : Mom, The Teachers have asked Us to Get N100 each for the Group Class Photo!! .. . .
��Mom : N100??!! ��
This is Robbery !! Haba! Just Wait, I'll have To get it from Dad
Mom To Dad : �� Are You Listening? These school People have Gone Mad. They want N200 from each kid for the Group Photo! Ridiculous!! ��������
��NOW where Will this Corruption end
#copied
@bv I AM BIPOLAR: thanks Bae, I loaded two of d cards u posted on Thursday's chronicle but network n low battery dint allow me show gratitude. I dint even com an inch near ds blog thru out yesterday. May d Lord bless ur hands continually. Amen. *hugs*
ReplyDeleteAmen. Thank you.
DeleteWhenever I go to Benin to see my parents, i always attend my parents church and there is this blind man that attends the church with his little son. His wife is dead, so it's just him and his little son. So one Sunday during the testimony time, this man came up with his son to give his testimony. He began, praise the Lord! Everybody answered halleluya. He started, on wednesday, we no get food for house, hungry don beat me and my pickin tire, i come dey pray make God provide food for us. Na so for evening, one small pickin carry tray come knock for our door, say him mama say make he give us the food. We open the plate na correct pounded yam and vegetable soup,i tell am to thank him mama for me. Kia Kia me and my pickin rush the food, as we dey finish, naim we hear knock for door again, na d same boy wey bring the food, he come say him mama say no be here she send am to bring the food come. Church scatter with laughter, them no even let papa finish the testimony.
ReplyDeleteKwaaaaaa
DeleteThat was said by pastor Adeboye.
DeleteYou added the "being blind" part.
You try
Lmao
DeleteJOKE! JOKE!! JOKE!!!
ReplyDeleteA man saw a catholic sister and decided to give her a lift in his car.As the car was moving the man placed his hand on the laps of the sister pretending he was looking for the gear lever.The sister cast a glance at him and said Matthew chapter 7 vs 7".The man quickly removed his hand.
After a short time the man placed his hand again on the laps of the sister.The sister said to him again ;"Matthew 7 vs 7".The man nervously removed his hand.
The sister reached her destination and got off the car, cast another glance at the man and said "So you don't read your Bible!"
When the man got home he opened his Bible to Matthew 7 vs 7 it says "ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO U".The man shouted;"OH!!! 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
😄😄😄😄😄
TEMPLE OF JOKES
Copied
Mc pinky
Hollywood #Ibu
DeleteJOKE! JOKE!! JOKE!!!
ReplyDeleteA man saw a catholic sister and decided to give her a lift in his car.As the car was moving the man placed his hand on the laps of the sister pretending he was looking for the gear lever.The sister cast a glance at him and said Matthew chapter 7 vs 7".The man quickly removed his hand.
After a short time the man placed his hand again on the laps of the sister.The sister said to him again ;"Matthew 7 vs 7".The man nervously removed his hand.
The sister reached her destination and got off the car, cast another glance at the man and said "So you don't read your Bible!"
When the man got home he opened his Bible to Matthew 7 vs 7 it says "ASK AND IT SHALL BE GIVEN UNTO U".The man shouted;"OH!!! 😭😭😭 😄😄😄😄😄
TEMPLE OF JOKES
Copied
Mc pinky
If the children of Israel were like this present generation while crossing the red sea, they would have spent the whole day in the middle of the sea, taking pictures and uploading on social media with comments like:
ReplyDelete1) chilling with Moses
2) miracle things on point
3) cruising on the red sea
4) omo see fish flexing
5) pharaoh no fit catch us
6) fish for sale, ping for delivery
7) flexing with uncle Aaron
8) swimming mode activated
9) me n my boo on fish hunting
10) we don cross the red sea na Godwin
True or false
Why Ayodele Ran Away From Home:
ReplyDeleteSome Yoruba families were thinking of what animal to kill for Christmas....
One family said "adie la ma fi se odun"
One said maalu la ma fi se odun
But Ayodele had to jump and ran away from home when his parents told someone on the phone that "ayo la ma fi se odun o😜😜
Laugh 😂 gently pls.
#copied
What do you call a car bought in may? EMEKA
ReplyDeletea very hungry man went into a buka to eat and the owner of the buka asked him wat he wanted to eat,he said he wants rice nd stew and the woman said that stew is being prepared ao he should juat wait a lil bit,d guy said no oooo madam i am very hungry ooo just give me ordinary white rice lyk dat nd water i go chop am,d woman was baffled nd said pls wait na d guy say na ur belle,i dey eat white rice since i small ooo,so d woman dished d food to him nd he sat down to eat nd people were just looking at him in shock,d guy just dey eat dey go,immediately he finished d woman came out of d kitchen also nd said oga if only u wait small before now,d stew don ready....d guy say okay he nor mean just bring stew nd 3 meat i go drink am lyk pepper soup...d woman gave it to him,immediately he finished licking d stew nd meat nd instantly he fell down nd started shaking uncontrollably lyk someone convulsing nd d whole canteen scattered....people were shouting..madam u don kill am ooo u don kill am,he dey die ooo make una help oooo.....
ReplyDeleteinstantly d man stood up nd said who dey die na? people got angry nd said oga which kind expensive nd childish play b dat na...d man say shuooor i just dey mix d rice nd stew for my belle na
Um dead
DeleteHaha...
DeleteDiss one is foni.
Hahaha... That's really funny
DeleteHahahahahaha
Deletelwkmd4h this almost killed me as i was drinking pepper soup,lol good one bv isaacson...dis is originality
DeleteLol
DeleteHajhahha
DeleteLoooool this one is hilarious
DeleteLmao. Nice one
DeleteI always have this thing in me telling me am not suppose to be in this part of the world.
ReplyDeleteI should be somewhere in my cocoa farm sipping coffee and sending my aid to Nigeria to end the recession.
Please someone should take me back home!!
*grabs cucumber*
Please if you are not Santa shave your beard!
ReplyDeleteResearch shows that chatting with ugly girls cosumes more data.And dancing with a fat girl slowly is like moving a fridge. Hahahahaahaa dont mind me o,am fat too
ReplyDeleteWhy do some girls think it is cool to remove a guy's cap from his head and playfully run around with it. If a guy remove your wig from your head and playfully run around with it Would you still find it funny.??...
ReplyDelete.lemme come and be going jor.
#COPIED
Lmao
Delete
ReplyDeleteA pregnant woman gets into a car accident and goes into a coma.
After nearly six months, she wakes up to find that she is no longer pregnant.
Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "You had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies are fine. Your brother came in and named them!"
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother!" Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says.
The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not such a bad name! I like Denise!"
Then she asks the doctor, "What's the boy's name?"
"Denephew".
#It's the will. Not the skill*
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
ReplyDeleteStop begging and change your line of business. What happened to feasibility studies before investing wrongly. Which kain charity business is this? Bvs keep paying subscription for your business? Stop wasting your time and maybe u should start selling amala there
DeleteI don't have joke oh but still thinking sha
ReplyDeleteKeep it coming I need to lafff away my sorrow
Years back when I was in uni, I had this boyfriend. He was in Lagos while I was schooling in Edo, so u could call it a long distance relationship. Anyway this guy was so adorable, so caring, so nice. If I said jump he'd ask baby, how high do u want m to jump? Are u sure I shouldn't fly too? But he was a perfect boyfriend. He made me feel so good n secure. He gave me a key to his place. Whenever I'm coming back from school, he'd pick me up. He was my driver around town. He'd escort me to the salon n sit patiently while I made my hair. Very correct guy. So, there was a time we had cultist wahala in school so I decided to come home while they settled their nonsense, person cannot come and die by stray bullet. Anyway, I didn't inform my boo, so he wasn't expecting me. I wanted to surprise him, I got to Lagos took a cab to his house and opened the door. Immediately I got in, I met this sisi coming out from the kitchen wearing his shirt n boxers. I just smiled inside me. She was startled. Before she could open her mouth, I seized the narrative.
ReplyDelete"Who are u and where is my brother? Isn't he back from work?
She was startled. " Ah. u are Ayo's sister? Welcome aunty. Welcome" she knelt down, greeted me and took my bag.
"He's not yet back ma. Come and sit down. What would u drink?"
I was amused. I was barely 20, and a girl clearly older than I was genuflecting and greeted me with respect because I was in my 'brother's' house. I decided I liked this respect of a thing and wanted to see how far I could take it. Let's just say I kinda overdid it.
I sat down, put my legs up n started ordering "my prospective sister-in-law" upandan. What did u cook?
She cooked jollof rice and served me like a queen. With chicken, turkey and dodo put on a tray. She knelt down while giving me the food. I ate till my tummy almost burst. That was the sweetest jollof I've ever eaten. The best jollof rice ever. I can't get over how sweet it was.
She brought a pillow to adjust my back. She brought the remote control over to me. She brought me water. I sent her to buy me stout. She went over n beyond to make me comfortable. I liked her already.
While I was sending her upandan, I'd throw her small compliments like "my brother must really like u" " u r the first girl I've seen here" "u r our wife o" And she'd giggle n blush and do more to please me. She must have asked me "Aunty, do u want me to do anything else for you?" Like 50 times.
After eating delicious jollof rice to my fill, I settled down to watch TV. I still kept on sending 'my sister in law' though. Open my bag. Bring back that charger. Charge my phone. Take out the clothes in that bag. She was a dutiful little worker. Bless her
Shortly after 7pm, our 'boyfriend' came back.though I mean by now he was my brother. Immediately he got in n saw me he was shocked, opening his mouth n closing it like a fish. I jumped up n called my 'sister-in-law'. "Ur darling is back o. Thank u for taking care of me. I'd be going home now. Then I turned to my brother n wagged my finger in his face. " this is a good girl. U better treat her right".
Then I turned back to my sister-in-law, "if he misbehaves, let me know". She knelt down and thanked me again n. I was happy. The respect thing is heady stuff o. She collected my number and I told my brother to pick my bags n drop me home.
He picked my bags and we went into the car. He still hadn't uttered a word. We got into the car and he started apologising. He was sorry. She meant nothing. He met her at a club. He wasn't expecting me blah blah blah. I didn't even answer him. I didn't have his time. I was too busy thinking about the sweet jollof rice. I was regretting why I didn't tell her to pack a bowl of it to eat at home. We got to my house and I got down, I didn't even look back at him or wave bye.
That jollof rice was sweet ehn
You didn't write this it's from funked Phillip Facebook!
DeleteLovely writeup.. You are a smart geh
DeleteLovely writeup.. You are a smart geh
DeleteStella this story was copied. Inioluwa, be truthful about the source of this story.
DeleteWith wat is happening i niaja 1 wud b wondering, dats bcos u are not reading ur bible
ReplyDeleteGod didn't say fear south south, nor east nor west, but plainly warned saying,
fear north.
Stella my sister oh! That was how I was in the church o the other day. My pastor called all the choristers to come out for prayers.. and I was feeling soo sleepy but I managed to come out ni.(night vigil things). So my sister, after pastor finished praying for all of us o. He asked us to go back and sit down, other ppl don go sit down finish, I was still kneeling down their sleeping, without knowing other ppl had gone back to their seats.they just left me there with the whole crowd in the church starring and laughing at me.when I realised myself I started shouting blood of JESUS Amen Amen, blood of JESUS fire fire and then the whole church started laughing, lol. Na so my pastor tap me.. say mk I go sleep.. I was just confused because I kW I was praying too just that they weren't hearing my own lol.. shame no gree me get up go my seat.. na that day I know say legs dey heavy when u don commit blunder.
ReplyDeleteStella my sister oh! That was how I was in the church o the other day. My pastor called all the choristers to come out for prayers.. and I was feeling soo sleepy but I managed to come out ni.(night vigil things). So my sister, after pastor finished praying for all of us o. He asked us to go back and sit down, other ppl don go sit down finish, I was still kneeling down their sleeping, without knowing other ppl had gone back to their seats.they just left me there with the whole crowd in the church starring and laughing at me.when I realised myself I started shouting blood of JESUS Amen Amen, blood of JESUS fire fire and then the whole church started laughing, lol. Na so my pastor tap me.. say mk I go sleep.. I was just confused because I kW I was praying too just that they weren't hearing my own lol.. shame no gree me get up go my seat.. na that day I know say legs dey heavy when u don commit blunder.
ReplyDelete@ Purity Goodnews, for real? This is so funny. Pele about the embarassment. Stella, kindly try and post all my comments on ur blog pls. I'm not begging for Santa biko. Just dropping comments. Merry Christmas to you and all of us in advance.
DeleteLaughing my fat ass out@inioluwa funny u,nice one😁😀😂
ReplyDeleteLaughing my fat ass out@inioluwa funny u,nice one😁😀😂
ReplyDeleteLaughing my fat ass out@inioluwa funny u,nice one😁😀😂
ReplyDeleteHad to edit it cause it exceeded space limit
ReplyDelete#copied#
I was in Mr Biggs yesterday when I suddenly
ReplyDeleterealized I desperately needed to mess, They
were playing Don Jazzy’s Dorobucci.
The music was really really loud, so I timed
my mess with the beat of the music. I was
releasing my mess alongside the music so that
nobody would hear the sound of the mess
although the mess was very loud too. When I
finished, I started to feel better but I looked
around and noticed that everybody in the
restaurant frowned and was staring at me…..
Why?
Then I suddenly remembered that I was
listening to the music with my ear-phone. I
almost fainted!!!. Copied
#copied
ReplyDeleteA conversation ensued between two guys:
Guy 1: hey nigga
Guy 2: what's up Bustin
Guy 1: baba not cool 😎o, need a favour from u, please!!
Guy 2: Okay, what's that
Guy 1: I took a lady out & I gave her my last 15k & her packages wasn't cool @ all, I need my money back😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Guy 2: oh God😱 how will it happened?
Guy 1: I'm @ Famous bus-stop behind Famous hotel, waiting for a bike, pls come & rob us, I will delay her
Guy 2: OK no problem! The mask is on, I'm on my way niggard 👊👊👊
Guy 1: thanks bro 👊👊
Lol
This year's harmattan funny Die..
ReplyDeleteThe only thing it could do was to freeze MMM.������
Hilarious jokes. I just hope Sunday jokes will be more funny.
ReplyDelete