This is so sad!
STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
EMOTIONAL TORTURE
Love your blog and everything it stands for, bvs nko? I love them scatter. Anyway I am in dire need of advice and help. I am having a bit of issues in my relationship. My chronicle is a bit disjointed cause at the moment I am so down and depressed I am currently on anti-anxiety pills.
I am 26 years old married with a baby (18 months and we've been married for two years), my husband is a medical doctor and he works in a different state from me, firstly my hubby will not allow me visit (I haven't visited in 1 year and 8 months, he comes home once every 2 weeks), he always uses the excuse that he stays in a one bedroom there and it can't fit I and the baby (which is kind of true) but I believe that as a family, if there is love we can manage for just three days to one week, but he never bulges.
Secondly, our communication is zero, he only calls to check on me and the baby vaguely (in fact when he calls I can already predict the conversation, it's very rote and boring). The one that even killed me is when he said to my face last Sunday when we had a little argument 'you know I don't talk to you so you don't have to worry' Stella I cried so much cause I felt so little or best put like a nuisance.
On the Saturday before the Sunday I wanted to have a Heart to heart with him, he refused saying he is studying, I insisted on talking even though he pretended to not be listening, but I continued telling him how I feel, all he said was if I wanted to divorce him I should say it, I was really shocked (though in the past I've mentioned such cause I am just so tired).
Thirdly, He also doesn't trust me, he accuses me of cheating every time. If I tell him I'm at my girl friends place sef it's war, he just wants me to be at home even though he won't call or even keep me company. It's crazy!!!
Fourthly, he is the sole provider in our home, though I am a graduate with 3 different degrees from Universities abroad, i only recently got a job to start in the new year. I live very decently cause he gives us a good life, but those things can't comfort me I need my man to love and appreciate me.
My home is far from sweet at the moment, he is 38 and I'm 26. We dated for two years though I and everyone in his family know he's reserved and doesn't talk too much I never knew it will deteriorate like this. He is a calm man and but when he is on the phone with his doctor friends he will be so excited and all chatty. So he has it in him he doesn't just want to give me that side of him.
I am so tempted to cheat but I can't because I am a child of God and one of those people that fear Gods wrath so much. Guys are always asking me out, because I am very pretty with a lovely shape and very humble and friendly personality so anywhere I step men are always on my case.
Just to clarify I am one of those that have people flocking them, many of my friends won't even do stuff without consulting me for advise so I'm not dumb or boring. I really don't know.
Finally, my hubby will never compliment me, it's almost like I don't exist even if I fish for it, he looks at me and says 'you are ok, or the outfit Is ok' (Ive gotten informal awards on being the fashionista of the year and all, so I really take care of myself, in fact on the side I do make up and dress people for events, so I'm not razz or anything)
How can a young vibrant lady live like this for the rest of her life? I am so tired, dear bvs please help me on what to do.
I really don't know why my hubby hates me so much maybe there's something I can't see, I am annoying too but just minimally like every woman and if we fight and he just begs me once or twice and I've moved on. I don't know what else to do, is there anyone In This situation or overcame such? please help me, I've contemplated suicide so many times because of this emotional torture. There is nothing as painful as being loved and appreciated by the world but not by the one person that matters the most.
Thanks my cyber-family for your anticipated help on this issue.
*I would have to read comments,dont know what to say right now cos i am distracted by something here.
Your husband has two wives... you and someone else.
ReplyDeleteThank you
DeleteGbam
DeleteGbamer
Gbamest
Gbam
DeleteI don't think so? Poster,Give him a little space.from your post you come across as clingy person (I may be wrong) let him be and he will reach out.
DeleteExactly! Either that or he is gay. Very simple. Quit blaming yourself. My husband was away for 5 days n he came home ystday evening and d sex was amazing!!! Btw we've got 2 kids, my boobs n tummy av gone south n he still finds me worth getting a hard on for. A man is away for 2weeks n he barely calls,he comes home n he isn't into u,my sister something is amiss oh! U better open ur eyes n look very well.
DeletePay him surprise visit without your child...like a weekend. I suspect he has another woman there. Please suicide is never a solution to a problem. Best of luck.
DeleteI concur
DeleteThis thing is peculiar to most Doctors I know. They can be very self absorbed and critical. The last doctor I dated will be the last. But I have mastered that behaviour like the back of my hands. You need to be sure that you have not done anything to offend him. Some men have unforgiving spirit, it might have been something you have forgotten about sef. Then you need to learn how to be genuinely very happy and wholesome without his attention. Since he's away most of the time, start going out and generally doing things that make you happy. Although, you mentioned that he gets jealous quickly, so this might create more quarrels. All of this is pointing to the fact that he might have settled for you. Some Nigerian men these days just marry who gives them peace of mind and not who they really like. I sincerely hope there's no other woman involved (or man, worst case scenario). If there isn't, you get someone who he respects a lot to talk to him. Also, I don't know which country you're based but you can hire a private investigator.
DeleteAnd it seems he loves the other one more.
DeleteThere's also the probability that you're self absorbed too. I'm saying this because it's irrational to contemplate suicide for the reasons you have mentioned here. Although it's unlikely that you don't have low self esteem, but we can't rule that out yet. Where you generally a happy person before you got married? Was he like this before you got married? Did these suicidal thoughts start after you had your baby? Reply. I am commenting again because I just noticed the suicide part.
DeleteGo to his base to see for yourself, when he is going back, just follow him wether he likes it or not, cus if it has to do with another woman you will eventually find out so the earlier the better
DeleteGbam!
DeleteSorry to tell u this but your husband is in a relationship in that state that he works. A very fun relationship for him though he will not drop his marriage for it for now. Only a matter of time before the mistress starts pushing for marriage and who knows ....... Try and stay positive and do things that will make you happy as obviously your husband is having fun. The age gap is much so he can easily manipulate you. Just be happy. Everything will sort itself out
DeleteHow does she sound like a clingy person? If you see your husband every fortnight, won't you hold him tight when he is available ?
DeleteLeave your baby with its grandparents and surprise him one weekend, you know what to do when you get there. Also, you need to keep yourself busy. Make more friends and enjoy your youth
DeleteMy dear I would advice you look for a way to get to that his house without his knowledge or send someone you can trust just to see for yourself. Men that accuse their wives/girlfriends of always cheating are always the champs in philandering trust me I know his type, your smart and in love, my dear as they say "drink responsibly", in this situation I'll say to you my darling "love smartly", shine ya eyes. I'm sure you've read enough chronicles and comments on this blog to know what's up. No man is worth it oooooo, don't kill yourself, I beg of you. Just focus on what's important your kid and career.
DeletePoster since your job is not stable, why not move to the state he works in? What's keeping you where you are? In my opinion you married too young. A young lady with three degrees should not really be a married mother so soon after graduation.
DeleteHaaaaaa!!!! Don't go to his Base o!!! I'm writing from experience o. The thing wey person no sabi no dey kill am. If you attempt and go to his base,you will see what you don't want to see,finally he will tell you what you don't want to hear,then you will get the depression you don't want to get. Bae,i have seen it all o. No try am at all. Be happy,hon. If chocolate makes you happy,eat plenty of chocolate...just discover what makes you happy. #bloghugs
DeleteOh girl, adofuro nii Oko re!!!
DeleteMy pain is your 3 degrees abroad and what it is you had to settle with eventually. You are quite young and deserve happiness. I can only tell you sorry. Words fail me. Let me just apply aboniki on this pain I feel for you.
DeleteUr husband is married to someone else,he has two wives,...give him a suprise visit.
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily. But a surprise visit would be a good idea. If possible don't go with ur baby, you can drop him/her with a family member and go visit your man... See how it goes and you can take it from there.
DeleteAll the best.
Don't know about the two wives, but do give him a surprise visit.
DeleteI'm lost as to why he treats you that way; more like you were given out to him to marry.
Just keep yourself busy and totally ignore him. God so good, you're starting a new job soon; put your child in a creche and live your life. Excel at your and hobbies and treat him like a non-entity.
I bet he'll be the one vying for your attention after all this.
All the best jarey, don't jisoro him, lol.
Poster such things happens when ur husband didn't marry you with his clear eyes. Is ur marriage arranged by mother in-laws? Most times such marriage doesn't last and is full of pains and troubles
DeleteHe probably is more involved with someone else,only him can say for how long though. It could have been before you guys got married. For now,do nothing,just be calm and pray;specifically,tell God to reveal some hidden things to you. Trust me you will be fine in the end okay,you already have a kid for him,do not be too quick to dissolve the marriage.
DeleteGod be with you!
You are in a loveless marriage. All you need right now is distraction.
ReplyDeleteTake a break and visit your parents, stay with them for a while. In the new year when you resume, distract yourself with office activities. Fall in love more with duties than with humans.
Get a Dildo and straf away your sorrows on some occasions.
Life doesn't evolve around your partner.
Stella,where's my comment? Nawa for you o.It's your blog anyway.
DeleteYou need a lot more than your shape and beauty to make your marriage work. Those men flocking around. You just want a piece of your cookie so stop deluding yourself. Learn to be elusive, stop threatening him with divorce. If nobody makes you happy make yourself happy
DeleteMy dear, u can not have it all, just enjoy the good side of him, believe me u will be fyn.
DeleteMarried outwardly, single emotionally,l loveless marital status..... No man will do that without having a side chick,only if you wanna decieve yourself that he isn't cheating....pay him surprise visit a Saturday evening.....
DeleteThere is something he is hiding from you, the earlier u do ur investigation the better for u
ReplyDeleteYour husband might not be married to another woman,but he sure is in another relationship.
DeleteSurprise him with your presence.
Learn to love yourself,when you love yourself,if someone loves you or not,it won't matter.
Your health shouldn't deteriorate cause of a man.
If you die today,he will walk over your grave and marry someone else.
Doctors are flirt
ReplyDeleteYour husband is hiding something
@Galore
I know and i have also heard of several people married to male doctors and they all complain of their unfaithfulness.
Delete3 degrees by 26? You shouldn't have married so early then. At least get your career on track first.
DeleteDid i just read that you have 3different degrees from schools abroad and you want to kill yourself because of man? Madam sorry o but you sound foolish, common stand up and get your life back. As young as you are sef.
ReplyDeleteWean your child and register him or her in a cretche, thank God you have secured a job. Get ready to work, when you are free hangout with your friends, talk to your man and if he doesn't want to change biko take a walk, you are still young biko
@Chidinma Gift,so she should take a walk and join you in chunking cucumber inside punani abi?Wayward shameless woman, everyone must not be a lesbo like you.Church mouse
DeleteHmm ,you just have to pray ,d hatred your hubby has towards you isn't ordinary.
DeleteI'll advise u to try and have another baby, then if he doesn't change, leave his black ass
DeleteAll will be well dear
Na so e easy to take a walk?
DeleteEasy with the insult and pray not to find yourself in her shoes.
DeletePoster give him space, focus on yourself and baby. Respect him, act as if he doesn't exist and see him running back. Dnt forget to always pray for him.
I hope he is not gay.
Well I support your advice chidinma. Your husband showed these traits but you ignored and wrote them off as him being quiet and reserved. Madam, you can't eat your cake and have it. A talkative man will be accused of being a party freak. Now youre with a quiet man, you say he's too reserved. Well, some people are extremists in the way they behave. They're either on one end or the other. Your husband is one of them. Now, truth is he won't talk about it until he wants to. So stop forcing a heart-to-heart. Stop trying to push him harder. Leave matter. Wean your child, get back to being a hottie and pepper him very well. As in, pepper him! Get your groove back. And keep talking to God about how you feel. If you like drink dettol, na another woman go come take over your house. Maltreat your pikin join. So suicide isn't an option. Better toughen up.
DeleteAs for those of you accusing oga of having a second wife. E go shock you say e no get. He's just being his old self. My mum's friend's husband was the sweetest husband in the world. The best dad envy of the whole estate. We didn't know he had another wife in the state he was posted to work. The marriage was 10 years old and his maain wife didn't know. She paid him a surprise visit and almost died when she saw a family with three kids who didnt know daddy had another family in lagos. So as much as I support poster paying hubby a surprise visit, don't conclude based on his attitude. The sweetest man can be a betrayer.
Some men are just dry.
This comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
DeleteNa wa oooo u sure say this man no get another family where he's base? d way he discharge u on phone hian I smell shit
ReplyDeleteWho match make you? Did you marry him out of desperation? Were these signs not there when you're still dating him? Have you done you finding to know maybe he's married over there or not? Above all, is this your man not a gay? I'm very suspicious of him
ReplyDelete*Larry was here*
@ Starry, u'r head dey dia. The husband is probably guy or bisexual,but more into same sex. Hmmm. My take is, give him a surprise visit, get someone to tell on him, report him to his relatives,probably an older broda. Above all, ignore him for a while and see how things turn out.
DeleteThe few I have seen and know act like this either settled, cause they couldn't have the one they wanted. How did u guys meet? Were.if he is cool around others, maybe there's something up with him.
DeleteDid you say Suicide? Why?? For what exactly? Did you husband create you? Did he give you life? So what makes you think you have the right to take your life just cos of a mere mortal? Don't even think about that ever again! So God won't be angry at you
ReplyDeleteMy dear, it's either your hubby is gay! Or he is living with another woman over there! You owe it to yourself to find out the truth before you dump his stupid ass... Stylishly ask him for the address of his current residence. Make sure he doesn't suspect anything, then surprise him.
Show up there in his house and find out the true situation of things over there... just tell him you wanted to surprise him. What's the worst that could happen? Will he dare chase you out? You have every right to visit your husband na.. you ain't committing any crime by doing so.
Then snoop you hear me! Snoop Snoop Snoop
She shld stay close to hs place of residence n observe tnz frm afar b4 bumping into him, so it's won't be lyk d day she went, everywhere is clean, no dirts to find n pick on.
DeleteI agree with you Becky
DeleteY not pay him a surprise visit?
ReplyDeleteDear,if she attempts to pay him a surprise visit,trust me she will come back with a longer chronicles of regrets. Take my words
DeleteSo Anon 21:24 what do u suggest the solution might be to this chronicle? Ps you can only go forward by moving forward.
DeletePoster know your stand sooner so that u can right your wrong earlier and enjoy a huge chunk of ur life afterwards. The sooner u find out d better. No use living in denial. Sha try redeem your marriage afer the snoop snoop which would eventually lead u to the actual reasons for this absurd attitude portrayed by ur 'fake' hubby and if not redeemable...
Well y dont u give him a bit of his own pill? Let's see if he can handle the way he's been treating u himself.
Marjorie
My dear,what u need is prayers nothing else tell God what u want ur home to look like.also be on ur kneels and God will see u thur I knw hw u feel,it is well.
ReplyDeleteWhy in earth are you living away from your husband? You didnt even have a job when you guys got married yet you agreed to that kind of arrangement? Just move to where he lives permanently, that's the solution.
DeleteSome naija men are too deaf.
ReplyDeleteI agree, poster pay your husband a suprise visit at his base one weekend.
DeleteThere is "the other woman"
ReplyDeleteeven if there is another woman so wat? can't he just treat her right? so men re soo dumb. He has a complete package and he's throwing it away just becus of wat? Madam pls divorce him. its his loss.
Deletewhy not pay him an unscheduled visit. i believe u will get ur answers.
ReplyDeleteAnother woman that had a wedding & living a single life...
ReplyDeleteThis man doesnt love you, its the baby thats bonding you both obviously, you might as well be a babymama, i lughed when u said he dsnt compliment you, person never even see you to communicate with, u de find compliment *yimu*
Heres what id advise u to do, give in ur best to make it work, try bringing the spark into the marriage if it was ever present at all, while doing so put a time frame on it, maybe a year or so... if you dont so mch as feel one weak butterfly in ur tummy trying to fly, my dear press eject, youre already a baby mama.
# I'd be Santa to a BV, but id come as a thief in the night to that person.
Pls be my Santa, lemme tell you what I want
DeleteI'm introverted but that aspect of me does not come in between me and the people I love.
DeleteLady go to your husbands base and find out things for yourself.
PS: Stella I sent you a mail some days ago about a project on child molestation for Abia state. Please do reply the mail.
HOPEFULLY YOU'LL SEE THIS
Please o
DeletePlease o locate me o
DeleteAtheist, I have to be that BV jare.This Santa can't pass me by like that na.
DeleteSome stupid people be calling me and threatening me....
DeleteUna never reach oo
That I dropped my number does not make any pained person that I have yabbed or reveal their nonsense lifestyle to come and be wanting to try to suck my blood on phone
I plead the blood of Jesus oo
@Galore
why not pay him an unscheduled visit. i believe u will get ur answers.
ReplyDeleteAll you need is prayer
DeleteWhat exactly is ur problem? U guys dated for 2 years ,u knew he is an introvert from d beginning and u agreed to marry him.Why r u complaining now? It seems one useless guy with sweet mouth is trying to deceive u.It appears ur only problem is that u want another another preek to enter inside ur Toto .
ReplyDeleteIf i hear say u no be James.... Lol
DeleteThank you oh! He's an extreme introvert. I can imagine. Pity he doesn't feel comfortable with you.I prefer a guy who's quiet to the world and noisy with me, than one who's the reverse.
DeleteBut you can kill yourself. Do yanga and chop life. His brain will reset.
*You CAN'T kill yourself.
DeleteThank you. she is even boastful. Madam my advise for you is to trust ur man. Don't let these people destroy ur marriage with useless advises. Just be calm, pray and be a good wife who loves and respects her husband. When he comes home talk to him with love and respect and present ur issues to him. God is faithful dear and make ur marriage work.
DeleteGloriah, you sound envious!!!
DeleteThe poster is not boastful in any way. Just stated facts.
My name is Sandra and I am not the poster. Yimu*
I don't see the problem, more so that his family told you he's reserved. I will advice u look for activities that excite him outside his profession and you both should engage in it. It could be football, watch his favourite team play with him,it could be anything learn that and enjoy it too.
ReplyDeleteTrue. They probably have differnt hobbies. Poster key into his hobby.
DeleteHer husband is playing away match.
DeleteShe better shine her eyes
Don't have hypertension because of any man...You have your kids to take care of
@Galore
Ur husband is cheating on you, anyway let me read comments
ReplyDeleteSista judjina weldone!
DeleteMumu.
Don't conclude.
DeleteI'd advice you go on your knees and tell it to God, begin to decree what you want in ur marriage, the heart of a king is in God's hand, so tell God to touch your hubby and make his heart melt for you and you alone......I do not subscribe to the distance of living apart, see, your position is right beside ur hubby, so why live states apart??? Let ur hubby rent a room and parlour or 2bedroom flat and you should move in with him......in all, let wisdom guide you.
ReplyDelete*Faithful bv*
Somethings you need common sense... not prayers.
DeleteCorrect!
DeleteCorrect @ going on knees
DeleteHehehehe.... Everything no b prayer na...haba! Madam monitor ur husband. Pay him a surprise visit or stay smwhere close and observe him.
DeleteWatch war room 😃
DeleteRead @Toke book😁
@Galore
Wisdom is profitable to direct.
DeleteHave faith, say the prayers but take action too. Know what exactly the symptoms are as u go to the Pharmacy and definitely dont merely ignore them. Dont walk wiv ur eyes closed when u can use them open.
Snoop, visit him unexpectedly, join him in his hobbies, surprise him wiv those things he appreciates the most when he least expects them, be spontaneous, discuss what interests him...
Really d distance is killing ur marriage. God never intended for couples to wed only to return to separate houses rather they should live as one which includes living together in any physical location.
Choose to be happy, let no man be in charge of your happiness ps dear. It's like tossing the only key to your mansion into the sea not knowing what depth nor point it must have settled. Cuz looking for that key would nearly if not definitely cause madness which u seem to be approaching already.
Take charge now dear. Keep only the sources of positive energy near your heart but shutdown the source of negative energy.
Marjorie
That Santa post is hotter than fire
ReplyDeleteVery hot I pray my Santa locate me
DeleteHmm
ReplyDeleteMaybe he doesn't have two wives
Maybe he just chose to keep quiet most times to avoid trouble.
THIS IS HOW SOME MEN WILL BE CHATTY WHEN IN COURTSHIP BUT WILL TURN MUTE WHEN MARRIED .
it is only God that will heal marriages.
If at this rate you are contemplating suicide then I think a separation will be good for you. So that you don't kill yourself.
ReplyDeleteHowever, I think he has something on the side distracting him. It could be work, a girl, it could be that he is gay. He is definitely into something.
You need a break. I didn't say divorce. But looks like he is expecting it. Live as though you can do without him. Most you tell him all your moves? If he us not there he has no right to complain when you hang out with people. But be careful.
@Elixir na ur mama be his second wife
ReplyDeleteWhy you going under annon if you no dey fear?
DeleteBabe, sorry for what ure going thru, channel your emotional energy to your child and your job, pls don't cheat and involve God in your home more. Try to be to him what you want him to be to you. Be opposite of what he expects you to be. Try to be his friend, emphasis on try. Take one day at a time. God Will help you.
ReplyDeleteIf I were in your shoes I will travel to his base unannounced.
ReplyDeleteAll of you can carry the Santa post and go..I am tired of trying to comment.
ReplyDeletePoster,from my observations o..well,I am not sure..seems the guy is gay or he has another woman..well,I'll advice you to ignore him for now.dress well,never stop calling on God,try to find out more about him and act as if he doesn't exist when he comes visiting and do not call him often,let him call more.If he's not worried after doing all this,then you need to check whom your husband is truly is..Please,you need to be happy in order not to age quickly..
This may work.Few days ago, A girl told me how her cousin's husband was acting the same way.Her cousin stopped nagging,kissed him each time he came back from work,collected his briefcase.. Act cool and in the end dude changed..She'll ask,how was work? Teased him and play with him..Everything went back to normal and dude always came back home,spends more time at home,got her a car and open a big shop for his wife..
Give him the space he wants!!! Keep the conversation boring! Focus on your new job,give baby all d attention. Act like your not bothered! Watch him go uncomfy,tryna figure out whats going on.
ReplyDeleteExactly what I advice too but remember that she said her husband is a jealous man. This could lead to more quarrels.
DeleteHi5!
DeleteAct like he doesn't exist also... Treat him like he treats you and watch him sit up ...might sound like a bad advice but trust me it works
ReplyDeleteIt so works. Shakara infront, prayer at the back. Na so my babe do her NEPA-like bf 😂😂 yday she called to testify how the guy has tightened belt. And even asking for introduction date. That's the way to treat these men.
DeleteI think your husband is the one cheating on u, he has another woman outside
ReplyDeleteYes, I agree. My hubby became like that when he started cheating with his account officer. All of a sudden I became an household furniture. He will never go out with me nor be seen with me in public. I decided to walk and l'm at peace with myself.
DeleteI feel ur pains dr, i'v bn dere b4, but ma case twas ma boyfrnd so I jst relocated and started live afresh dere, I really tnk God we dated for quite so time and I got to find out, it can b frustrating, no b lie!! Ur case is 'marriage' already, use strong head ho pay him surprise visit dere and tell him its bcos he won't let u if u tell him, dats y u didn't tell him dis time! Don't commit suicide for a man oooo, he will jst bring d other woman home and na hell fire straight oo!
ReplyDeleteYour husband's side chick is the one getting all the love and attention you crave for
ReplyDeleteThey might even be living together
Ignore him and do things that make you happy since he provides for you and the baby
He's doing all these so u can ask him for a divorce
Hmmmmmm.it is well
ReplyDeleteHmmm God help you madam but it is only u that can tell yourself what u want.I would av advised u to watch war room but that not in vogue any longer so,pls madam go and buy Toke makinwa's book #onbecoming and read it.You might learn some lessons from it.BTW many thanks to d Bv who sent me d soft copy of that book. Ehen stella about d Santa post pls i just subscribed now and saw d post. Pls santa be my angel,all i want for Christmas is money for Ivf(1m -1.5m)depending on the hospital. We av been trying for almost 4yrs and av spent alot both on hospital n local treatment our doctor said ivf is d best option considering my situation.Am unemployed n Hubby's salary can hardly feed us.God bless my santa/angel amen .
ReplyDeletePoster pls follow up my words here..its an advise like a quotes.so use ur head.
ReplyDelete*1 is (4u)
Don’t accept a life that has
been molded for you by others because eventually you’ll succumb to its falseness.
*2 (ur man)
He enjoys being at work than being at home then it means he is in love with his work and worship it.
The above is a conclusive summary of ur post.
RECOMMENDATION
Go to God in prayer, ask for direction and seek for his wisdom.
Revisit ur experience with him when u guyz were still dating,tink of those tinz u do that makes him happy which u ave put to an end.
Always allow him to take his time,pretend not to see or to be worried about him for a while.
Have an heart to heart discussion with him not during the day but late in the night.
Mc pinky
Pay him a surprise visit.
ReplyDeleteGather liver before you move.
Omg!!! I almost tot that was me except his a doctor. All I did was put up d I dont care attitude,i dont call except he does,and when he does call,no attitude or grumbling. I just played along.
ReplyDeleteToday his always asking me why I have given up on us,that I should know we are his main concerns!! Did bulge to the lovedubywife,yes but after he proved it was all about us.
Dont deceive your self watching war room, be practical biko!!!
Remember she said he's a jealous man.
DeleteNa was so person should die because he's a jealous man, I beg biko let's hear..
DeletePray about it about first, try and talk to his mum or someone you think he is close to in his family...i dont even know what to say either, but i know God Almighty will direct your steps!
ReplyDeleteOK.I can deduce that u r an extrovert. U likes going to parties ,drinking urself to stupor & u wish to be foking many dicks(even though u won't admit it). I believe u want to be with a man that behaves like u.and u want a man that will always tell u sweet lies;what u want u want to hear all d time
ReplyDeleteWhy not end it and look for such man.
See this mumu James.
DeletePeacemaker, AKA James, if you don't have something constructive to say pls zip it. You have no idea of the life of a woman left with a child alone for days on end. Sometimes, she too will need a break cos she is human. Think think think.
DeleteAnd brother you have no idea of what women go through.
Peacemaker, AKA James, if you don't have something constructive to say pls zip it. You have no idea of the life of a woman left with a child alone for days on end. Sometimes, she too will need a break cos she is human. Think think think.
DeleteAnd brother you have no idea of what women go through.
Work on your grammar love!
DeleteYour grammar tho, smh..
DeleteI think there's another woman where he works. Good thing you're going to be gainfully employed come the new year cos when one is busy, certain things don't matter that much. If your mum or his are still alive, drop the baby with them and go to your husband. Try not to complain or anything, but just be tenacious in trying to get to the root of the problem. Were you guys doing distant relationship while dating? Just take it easy and remember that suicide is never an answer
ReplyDeleteYour hubby has another woman in his life
ReplyDeleteHmmm. Poster. Firstly, prepare to live your life outside of him by taking huge steps in fulfilling your desires career wise. Get busy. Thank God u now have a job which will commence in the new year. Then try get info on what's happening where he is. Not via phone but check on him real time. Get your facts and nail him. That will give you a heads up over him by the time you confront him with facts. That will also restore your self worth based on the fact that you are doing nothing wrong but he has decided not to see good in you simply because he's cheating big time. Pick it up from there
ReplyDeleteYour husband is gbenshing raw at his base
ReplyDeleteWhy did you marry a 38 yr old man,the man should be married to someone in her 30s,he is probably seeing one of his ex who is within his age bracket.
ReplyDeleteThere is nothing as painful as emotional torture by some one you love and care for so much. Poster,if u can, pls ignore him. Do things that will nake him jelous. ignore him as much as he ignores u. u might do be able to do it cos u love him dearly,but pls try. it might change him.
ReplyDeletepls bvs, all ds forever supplements for premature ejaculation,(ginkgo plus , gin chia and other). do they really work cos hubbys premature ejaculation is on another level. jst 123 thrusting,u start hearing heyy,auchhh,haa. it s so annoying. we v tried fruits and many other yet no improvement.
You are way to young, intelligent and beautiful to be about the anti-anxiety,anti-depressant kind of life. You have so much going for and I want you to focus on that right now. Contrary to what society thinks you do not need a man to validate you, stop listening to the negative voices in your head you are not the cause of the problems in your marriage methinks the Toke/Anita scenario might just be playing itself out in your marriage or even worse, your husband might be gay. You both need to speak to a marriage counsellor, something doesn't add up with your husband.
ReplyDeleteYou are way to young, intelligent and beautiful to be about the anti-anxiety,anti-depressant kind of life. You have so much going for and I want you to focus on that right now. Contrary to what society thinks you do not need a man to validate you, stop listening to the negative voices in your head you are not the cause of the problems in your marriage methinks the Toke/Anita scenario might just be playing itself out in your marriage or even worse, your husband might be gay. You both need to speak to a marriage counsellor, something doesn't add up with your husband.
ReplyDeleteWoman your husband is keeping someone else.
ReplyDeleteGive him a surprise visit.
You are way to young, intelligent and beautiful to be about the anti-anxiety,anti-depressant kind of life. You have so much going for and I want you to focus on that right now. Contrary to what society thinks you do not need a man to validate you, stop listening to the negative voices in your head you are not the cause of the problems in your marriage methinks the Toke/Anita scenario might just be playing itself out in your marriage or even worse, your husband might be gay. You both need to speak to a marriage counsellor, something doesn't add up with your husband.
ReplyDeleteSuicide ke. Killing yourself over a man and you have a child biko resist that thought, remove it from your mind. You have so much to live for, I'm your age mate with degrees from UK yet no good job, no boyfriend talk more of husband I can't contemplate suicide. With a child, guys are still asking you out its been two years since a man asked me out. When you know what others are going through you might appreciate your situation better. Start your job, face your child, give him space but NEVER cheat on him and please forget suicide and depression you are the only one responsible for your happiness. If you die who will take care of your child, decide to be happy no matter the situation and everything will fall into place.
ReplyDeleteWhy can't people realise that there are others that are introverted and reserved. Madam your husband is chatty with his friends because they share a common interest. Find yours. How did you meet? Or was it arrangée?
ReplyDeleteMy dear join church groups,business men's fellowship ,red cross etc and get very busy,buy interesting series films,etc he will be the one begging for attention.
ReplyDeleteStylishly give him an impromptu visit but don't go with your baby incase you get stranded. If you find out anything strange about him don't fight with him just go back jejely and start leaving like a single mother, work hard and take good care of your child. My mom raised 5 kids alone and she's proud of us today. Those "FOOLS" don't worth our tears sometimes.
ReplyDeleteYou better concentrate on your baby and career.
ReplyDeleteLet me read comments
ReplyDeleteBabe u enter one chance, ur hubby na guy, yes obu homo.......
ReplyDeleteI don't think he is cheating, you already said he is an introvert so that might be the problem
ReplyDeleteFirst of all, don't ever let suicide cross your mind again! You call yourself God's child, let God handle this. Love yourself and pray to the God that cares, hears and answers prays. Watch God fight for you.
ReplyDeleteBabe, you can't waste your life cos of a man. You have a family that did their best to get you all you've got now. Don't disappoint them by taking what you can't create (your life) and don't make another woman be your child's mum. Your hubby may have a family elsewhere but use the God you serve to turn things around for your favour.
Finally, don't use violence or nag to solve this. It won't help. It's well with you. Amen
You guys dated for two years and have this deep level of incompatibility unrevealed...how?
ReplyDeleteThat is excluding the chance that he hasn't a family somewhere or gay much.
Was this a long distance courting or arrangee marriage.
You are popping anti-anxiety pills for real...hope you didn't self-prescribe.
Your marriage is the source of the anxiety, So it's safe to say that you need to step back from your marriage urgently. Popping those pills with the problem in your face is counterproductive.
You need to be open to your family about the need to seperate if this man is not gonna budge.
Be VERY resolute about your decision here...it is your life we are talking about.
You are a very sensitive person, and this situation which is a clear abuse can break your sanity.
Trust me, doctors are the worst psychopaths when they are.
For the meanwhile, manage till the end of this year to like the first quarter of next year, by then you would have some money to start from somewhere when you leave, since you've gotten a job. Whatever you do, do not get pregnant.
Try to make yourself happy pls, i know it's hard, but you need to stop making this man the centre of your happiness.
Pray to God about you, for strength, for peace, and give him loads of thanks. This is not the time to ask questions or reenact war room.
Keep trying to talk to him, but avoid confrontations, withdraw if he isn't responsive, so you do not hurt further for doing and giving too much.
Go out, make friends, dress as fantastic as you wish, find humour in little things, watch funny movies and stuff, refuse to be unhappy and depressed...live for you and your angel while you plot your moves.
The man you married has no idea what marriage entails and may need a rude shock to evaluate his actions.
When you are done with your planning, pls leave that house and get busy creating your own life.
If your heart is still in it, do the war room thingy from where you are.
Now you can ask God to intervene.
Your choice, but never stop living while you do.
He may come back to his senses and seek for reconciliation.
If that happens, allow him do all the running around,the beggings, the meetings, the compromise, just sit pretty and lay the conditions for the reunion.
Make it known how it will be from then on.
Do not let go of your apartment or life if he comes around. Retain it without his knowledge, do not get pregnant and watch him to see if it was for show or he truly has changed.
You need it as backup.
Give it a year before you fully recommit.
This whole pills popping and needless taking you for granted so early is beyond nauseating.
He is out there living his life while you are suffering...for what!
Why should be marriage shrink one so... define how you live from now on and stop acting helpless and throwing pity party.
Put you first and take out that life remote you've given your husband and unpause your life quickly.
However, if this man heaves a sigh of relief and makes no attempt to come back.
Well, at least that would be a lifechanging revelation.
You would know where you belong.
Thus, persist in building your life and take this as a second chance for you.
Take your time in building yourself, ensure he is responsible for your baby as well,if he refuses,do not allow him hold you back or dangle it as a tool of control.
Society will be your biggest oppressor,but do not forget that society is made up of people like your hubby....deeply flawed and insensitive.
So determine not to let society stop your life,it's purpose and happiness.
Take time to heal, Be cautious and smart when you reenter the dating scene. Seek God's will so you do not make another mistake.
You are still young, years of happiness awaits you so choose to be a winner.
Be strong okay, I love you!
Hmmm These our men I dont understand them..They need special prayers cos most of them are so effeminated.Displaying all sort of childish attitude. I dunno if its from our food, water or air. Please keep praying for him. I just cant stand foolish men..you looked at his calm face and thot he is a good person dats why people say STILL WATERS RUN DEEP..Please focus on your baby and your new job..yes u made an error by mentioning divorce but he is still behaving silly..Pls face your life and child..Am really angry now..
ReplyDeleteWhy did this phone battery decided to go off this morning? Now after looking for light to charge it, I cannot comment on the santa post, no more comment allowed. How will my helper locate me now? Stella pls even if you don't post this comment, pls locate me by your self. Our condition is pitiful, we are hungry and homeless. I can proof myself.
ReplyDeleteplease i am sooo tired of hearing he has another wife, he has annother wife talk. its quite simple : even if he has another wife, is it fair to b treating her badly? some men can b soo foolish, she's pretty, and has a good brain, plus she's fashionable and has a child for him. wat else does he want? #muguoftheyearaward goes to that man.
ReplyDeletePoster, your husband is an introvert and you were aware of that before you agreed to his proposal. Don't be deceived by any man making advances at you!
ReplyDeleteHe's not cheating, those traits you mentioned are traits of introverts. Please, when next he calls or maybe you do the calling (since you know his time schedules) try and initiate a conversation, when he's around, take your kid to your mum or any trusted relatives, ask him out for lunch or dinner. Or prepare a nice dinner at home, buy a nice wine, set a nice table, lit some nice perfume candles (if he uses a particular colon, get candles with similar smell) then discuss those things that are bothering you with him (in a lovely tune), surprise him with gifts too.
I will also advise you pay him a surprise visit sometimes, maybe before you resume work officially. By the time you'll start working, you will not even have enough time on your hand to be contemplating suicide, you will hardly miss him.
Wishing you peace in your home.
Ignore him and face your life. Don't send him anymore. You will see him crawl back to you. Since use that weapon and come thank me later. Pick his calls and when ever he is around be very happy and dancing everywhere but don't even send him, don't wine again and say why why why. Be so happy when he is around and just focus on other things and above all pray u will see magic. You are giving him too much attention and he has clearly taken u for granted
ReplyDeleteThank u . you've said. It. Please burst him . just go through the motions but stay far removed. He is not your God. Thank God he is away most times. Thank God you are also getting a job soon. good thing lie ahead. Don't be a weak woman. Men are generally not worth it. A bunch of disappointing creatures. Don't depend on them that much.
DeleteIt's possible your husband loves you, but he is not in love with you.
ReplyDeleteHis calm demeanor which you were already privy to before marriage might have a huge role to play with his behaviour.
Have another heart to heart talk with him. Tell him what you want from him. Tell him how happy he would make you if he treats you in the way you feel you should be treated.
Tell him how sad you are, tell him about those long lonely nights, tell him, tell him..
If you do that, and he still doesn't budge, my dear, the answer is obvious.
You are not the only one my dear,his using reverse psychology on you I bet he has another family. please don't commit suicide o your child will just suffer for nothing pleases if you cannot handle the heat leave that sham of a marriage. Love will find you
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Aunty act like a widow since your husband wants to treat you like a widow. IGNORE the hell out of him. Why are you seeking your happiness from a human being this is the mistake women make. Get your life back by focusing only on God, your son and making something of yourself. Don't you have dreams and ambitions? Focus on your own purpose in Christ and dreams. Let that be your satisfaction. You expect too much from your husband me I roll with NO EXPECTATIONS NO DISSAPOINTMENTS.
ReplyDeleteLook for validation only from God, the creator of heaven and earth. Who is your husband next to God? NOTHING!
Shalom
Hmmmmm,check ur self n also go visit(dnt tell him oooo)
ReplyDeleteYour husband seems to be one of those people that just can't be bothered. It's sad,but these set of people hardly change unless they come to realize their wrongdoings by themselves, you can talk from now till the end of time. My advice,learn to love yourself.
ReplyDeleteFind happiness from within you,no human can give another true joy and happiness. Occupy yourself with produtive things, it's a good thing you are starting work soon. Be a good mother and wife to the best of your abilities. If there is anyone he listens to and respects,you could talk to the person.Above all,pray.
As for cheating or committing suicide, my friend spit that out, what good do you think will come out of that.
HMMMMMMM poster ur husband might be gay or his in d oza room with the oza woman. Anyway distract yourself with the things of God ,it pays to serve God,and see God settling you.
ReplyDeleteMy dear sister, u deserve to be happy. Forget abt hw he is treating u right now and make urself happy. Neglect him for now, just pretend ad if he doesn't exit too n try nt to quarrel wit him. Inform ur parents of his attitude towards u after dat snoop on him surprisingly and if u find out dat he is having an affair pls don't fighy , don't even make any sound leave peacefully and report bk to ur parents. Cos a man dat does dat has something up his sleeves and be ready for d worse anytime. And if he refuses to change, my dear abeg bounce.
ReplyDeleteMadame hope you don't nag?I'd advise you change your attitude towards him by being more respectful,pampering him,when he's reading don't disturb him..get him things to chill with why he's reading.And don't forget to pray at night,wear a killer lingerie to bed when he's around.trust if you make him want you naim go dey disturb you everytime with getting visit sef..
ReplyDeleteTake it to God in prayers.And make sure you try and pay him a visit so as to know were you stand,if you like kill yourself he will surely be happy you did.Focus your mind on God,go for church programs it helps.who will take care of your child when you kill yourself.
ReplyDeleteHMMMMMMM poster ur husband might be gay or his in d oza room with the oza woman. Anyway distract yourself with the things of God ,it pays to serve God,and see God settling you.
ReplyDeleteChimooooooo.....dis is how i would have ended with segun o, forever is too long to go thru dat....i carried my slippers dusted it and ran for my dear life
ReplyDeleteThe worst of it all is emotional abuse, buy it's well. His ever faithful and just to answer us. Take it to the lord in prayers. Declare life into your marriage. The practical aspects, blank him for now. You have to act with wisdom, thank God you'll soon get a job. Dress good to work, keep your home clean, dress your baby up and keep changing dp's. Dont assume his cheating it will only drain your energy.Get all the love you can from your family. He will retrace his steps.
ReplyDeleteExactly @ that first comment. Your husband has you and probably several others. Thats how they behave and that is probably why he is always accusing you of cheating because he is more than likely doing the same. I wish you Gods wisdom. I jut tire for men matter.
ReplyDeleteGo out more, be happy with yourself. Do more shopping if you have money, in short just do what makes you happy and act like he's not in existence too.
ReplyDeleteAbeg no kill yourself o but I wonder why he like to see you unhappy.
After consulting my Agbara on ur behalf, I saw something very troubling.
ReplyDeleteYour husband is likely gay. It's not another woman. It's another man. Just for you to be sure, is his favorite sex position "DOGGY"? If it is, then he is.
Wow welcome back!
Delete#There comes a time when you have to choose between turning the page and closing the book*
ReplyDeletePeace maker u are just a big fool! a very stupid idiot she's hurting cz of her husband's "i dont care" attitude and ur talking trash here cz u want to be noticed. Pls be gone already! The said hubby has no atom of spontaeneity in him and d little "fun part" he has in him he hurds it that cn be very painful..poster pls pray hard and live hw u want to bt dnt cheat..its a marriage and not a prison abeg
ReplyDeleteWhen he visits is there any sex
ReplyDeleteMadam if you listen to 90% of these advisers your marriage will end. Pray for your husband and your marriage. If you don't want to stay married it's not by force. The day you visit him unannounced might be the day it will end. Be wise, your marriage is still young give it sometime. When ever he is around forget the past and enjoy the moment.
ReplyDeleteGo and sit down.You are just like this poster's husband.So she should not visit as per what? U don't have what to say.This man is cheating and is in love with whomever he is cheating on her with,you are here saying nonsense.
DeleteGo and sit down.You are just like this poster's husband.So she should not visit as per what? U don't have what to say.This man is cheating and is in love with whomever he is cheating on her with,you are here saying nonsense.
DeleteHear yourself you are one of the problem women are facing in marriage. what is wrong if he goes to see her husband unannounced ?? Mcthew abegi. Nigeria women will just be suffering all the name of marriage and all this stupid men everywhere that think they are doing the women a favour.
DeleteYou sound like a wicked man that must be horrible to his wife. Oga, change! Remember, a happy wife means a happy life. God bless you!
DeleteWhy the thought of suicide? But you said you are a child of God. Bring God into this matter. Be investigative. Know where he work and pay him surprise visit. However prepare for shock.
ReplyDeleteHaaa! See Native Dr Agwoturunbe
ReplyDeleteSo 'Save the bvs' is the new way to bring out all these old bvs hiding under another Id or anonymous, Stella, tell that meme maker to visit 2012, 2013 and 2014 posts and fish out our old popular bvs to feature on 'save the bvs'.
I noticed they start commenting as soon as they see their names on the post.
People like kajadman, bloglord, mamie, lucabracee, eldaberry, okija wife, genny baby, etc should be featured.
Why the thought of suicide? But you said you are a child of God. Bring God into this matter. Be investigative. Know where he work and pay him surprise visit. However prepare for shock.
ReplyDeleteThis your husband sounds like someone I know, Dozie. Anyway sha, blog visitor, my advice is keep yourself busy, don't have another baby until everything improves. I can imagine being in a boring situation
ReplyDeleteSweerie I smell a rat but I don't tink u shud conclude, give him space,do not pick his cals all d tym,wen he cals n get angry tel him u were busy,he wil be edgy n wil wnt 2find out y u r spacing him,by so doing he will become close 2u again bt madam y r u in a diff state wen u ain't even working? Wonderful,d kind of agreement couple' make nowadays baffles me, surprise ur husband madam n kip duin dat often,he wil si up,its ur right, aw can u be married n cnt visit ur hubby? Omo kip baby wit ur mum n goan visit ur man jare,spend a week or 2der, shey u guys share d bedroom wen he is around?so y cnt u both share his one room apartment?my dear it's ur legal right u hear? Visit him wen u feel like n pls do not apologize 4 visiting,dis na marriage nt rltnshp, also bring up d issue of both of u staying 2geda always cos dis ur arrangement is nt healthy 4ur child afterall the man doesn't work offshore so revisit ur relocation or his.
ReplyDeleteMadam don't be deceived. All the shameless men complimenting and telling u that u r too beautiful, u r too sexy,u r too hot and u r this and that r only after one thing; ur punani .If u leave ur marriage, they will not marry u oooo.They will fork fork and leave u.U will keep changing men like clothes in ur quest for love.A word is enough for d wise.I am glad u did say he is a womanizer.
ReplyDeleteMadam focus on urself n ur baby he will come back to u....
ReplyDeletePay him a surprise visit. Dont go with the baby. Stick around the area and gather info. Dont be caught.Trace him from place if work to his house. Pay an okada man to take u around. Just investigate to have full understanding if what is really going on.He could be gay or cheating on u. No man cab be behaving like that without a reason.
ReplyDeleteHmm,this is exactly what is happening to me now. 12 years gap with a kid of 2 years plus. Hubby stays abroad. Yet I haven't heard from him for a month now. Really sad and painful. Just wonder why the mature men are like this. .is this what marriage is all about no communication. Well I have made up my mind to be happy and focus more on my child. Nothing more
ReplyDeleteHello poster,
ReplyDeleteI can't say I'm 100 percent sure but your husband is having an affair where he is.
Two advices
ONE
Can you give him a surprise visit?
Don't allow him make you feel bad.
If you can, go there, if he gets angry, tell him you're his wife so you have the right.
Dont allow him make you feel bad for coming over.
TALK TO HIM ABOUT IT, TELL HIM EVERYTHING AGAIN, ASK HIM AND DEMAND ANSWERS.
ASK HIM WHAT EXACTLY HE WANTS FROM You AND WHAT HE WANTS YOU TO DO.
HE MUST TALK!!!!!
TWO
SINCE YOU HAVE A JOB, IGNORE HIM, BE COLD TOWARDS HIM, TREAT HIM THE WAY HE TREATS YOU. YOU CAN'T KNOW THE VALUE OF SOMETHING UNLESS YOU LOSE IT.
Are you sure you've not done anything???
aunty if i were you i'd pay him an impromptu visit. If you don't want to divorce him just get very very busy and gaskia try to ignore him even if he calls dont pick. Enjoy your life and pour your energy into making money naim go find you come.
ReplyDeleteThe age gap is a factor, and doctors can be arrogant also. Take thongs easy with your husband, you guys are at different stages in your lives. You will be fine when you understand the age thing,don't cheat on him,try to understand him and love him as he is,learn to love the things he loves.
ReplyDeletePoster please erase that sucidal thought from your Medulla Oblongata...
ReplyDelete😒
babe, pay your hubby a surprise visit in the evening with your baby so he cant send you back. If he tries to send you back, form sick and weak and tired. Your husband is definitely cheating and may have a live-in babe. Men who cheat keep their wives tense by always accusing the wives of cheating so that their wife wont cheat. He knows you are not but is trying to prevent it. Visit him like i said and scrutinize the house for lady undies, etc. My 2 cents
ReplyDelete...'' we can manage for just three days to one week, but he never BULGES''.
ReplyDeleteWTH..Sister.., those your 3 abroad degrees.., were they from Afghanistan by any chance??
Dear your hubby is probably not cheating. I am married to one of such and though I haven't overcome it,yet I have mastered the skills.
ReplyDelete1stly stop complaining. ..act like you cannot be bothered
2ndly as you've said...continue being a fashionista
3rdly....wait till he initiates sex (that's if he likes sex) and then let him know you aren't happy about the marriage.so not trade blames...let him know both of you have got work to do.let him know your mind that communication is key. ..put your points across emotionally...possibly cry set so he can one how much you hurt.
Erase the fact that he doesn't call...I see call him
Check up on him
Except he doesn't have dear of God. .he should change subsequently
Poster I'm so sorry for what you are going through, but I think your husband is cheating on you. You can pay him a surprise visit if you really want to know what is going on.
ReplyDeleteMy advice to you is that you should start ignoring him and focus on your kid and your new job. Don't call him anymore, let him do the calling, u can only call when it is necessary, give him the space he wants, don't ask for his complements. When he comes home, do your normal duties as a wife, but mind your business, Dress well, look good, smell nice. When he notices the change, he would start wondering what's up with you and be forced to pay attention to you. Don't ever think of sucide, asides from the fact that it's a sin, do u want to take your life because of a man that doesn't love you? Think about the number of people who love you, think about your child, she would suffer if u take your life, and your husband who is the reason why you took your life won't wait till six months before he gets married to another woman. Be very prayerful, there is nothing God cannot fix, all you need to do is ask. God bless you!
I see he knows he's your heaven on earth. Like your world revolves around him. Thank God you'll have a job by the new year so you'll have work to distract you. I know the feeling, been there girlfriend. I prayed for a turn around and just decided to ignore the man, I focused on EVERYTHING except him. don't get me wrong DO NOT ignore your wifely duties, just give him a good dose of his own medicine. It's working like magic for me right now.
ReplyDeleteE-hugs dear. It'll get
Hi Poster, ur story sounds so much like mine n my hubby is also a doctor. I think d different is just that you currently aint working. While I know its not the best advice, i think you should look forward to starting work and you will have less time to worry n maybe by that he will be the one trying to get ur attention (just maybe). As for me I dosent even bother me anymore
ReplyDeleteMy dear. I can feel your pain. You're still young. Unfortunately I feel your hubby is cheating. Best I to pay him a surprise visit. Go alone. That would answer your question. You can snoop his fone to be double sure.
ReplyDeleteIn the meantime, focus on your child and the job you have ahead of you. Forgive out, have fun. Don't depend your happiness in humans
The Worst thing that can happen to a woman is lack of care from her spouse. Poster your husband have enough space I'm not sure you are choking him.
ReplyDeleteA bed room flat can accommodate you guys if he really wants you to pay him a visit. Well something is obviously wrong somewhere. I suggest you get some one that won't betray you to spy on him or you pay him a surprise visit if you have shock absorber. Goodluck.
My dear... First of all, u spoke like a God fearing woman so I first suggest u take ur marriage issues to God cos he ordained this marriage, don't even consider cheating, cos it's like adding fuel to fire, trust me u may not enjoy the aftermath. Secondly some men in marriages or relationships don't really make things happen, u first make the steps and they follow, so if you think he doesn't notice you or appreciate you, u can start by appreciating and noticing him first and see if he can be moved to reciprocate. Don't wait for him to start the joke, try and start it first and see if he will follow up. If the love u show him is 30% increase it to 70 or even 90. Surprise him with affections, some men are like stones, they don't roll until u push them, so try and make these moves first and see if things will change, remember mahat magandi's quote "be the change you want" so start first and don't forget to talk to God in prayers, he settles all problems. My candid contribution, I pray it helps. God bless you.
ReplyDeletePoster I can't imagine how you feel. I knew someone that had the same issue, she married a doctor too, she later got to find out that he was living with another girl and she got pregnant for him. The woman however discovered late. I advise u to go to his base alone leave your child with your mum. Find out the truth soonest. Prepare for the worst. Be strong ma
ReplyDeletePoster your husband is GAY! He simply married you to cover up!
ReplyDeleteYour 'husband ' has forgotten you exist.its time to pray.Now My final advice.i am sure you enjoyed a lot of good times when you were both happy.these memories make your bond strong.Now pick pen and paper pen a small love note to him.You can even take a pic of you and your child and write this 'We Love & Cherish You 'Hubbys Name'.Finally put it in his travelling bag where you know he will see it when he is away.The objective is to get him thinking about you.do this every week it should not be only love notes a little prayer for his safe return.
ReplyDeleteWish You Well
Sannin1
Snoop biko is possible your husband has a side boo, some women think money is everything, some go for money and not comfort. May God visit your case.
ReplyDeleteMy advice is just ignore him for a while and get urself very busy by getting more involved wit tins dat u luv most....he wil be amazed at ur not sending him anylonger
ReplyDelete