STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
IN LOVE WITH A COMPLICATED MAN
Hi Stella,
I really admire what you do and also your resilience and tough skin over cyber bullies and trolls. Keep up the good work dear stella.
Please i need to get this off my chest this year 2016 and know what i want to do next so i had to put this down.
So i met this guy from singles n mingles in Feb, he stays in Qatar and I in Lagos. We connected and we have been really going strong. I really really like this guy as in with all my heart and the feeling is very mutual.
Main issue is the lies. He lies some very petty and unnecessary lies that i started finding it hard to believe anything he says at all. e.g. he has called me up before to say "i shopped online for you and they would have it delivered in 2 weeks so keep a look out".
Well,he was supposed to come this xmas on the 5th, he shifted to 8th, then 12th. On the 11th i asked him what time is your flight so i can come pick you up from the airport, all of a sudden stories entered the gist. Why did he have to wait till 11th for me to ask then start giving me stories.I was so upset i told him off about me not being able to deal with lies.
I dont know what to believe right now. We are both not on speaking terms. I really really like this guy, we both connect on the same level, he is smart, funny, gentle and very matured but the lies..... I dont know if i can deal with it.
He has tried reaching out to me but, am confused if i want to take this into 2017 or just move on with my life.
Kindly advise Stella and BV's
Thanks.
Hi Stella,
I really admire what you do and also your resilience and tough skin over cyber bullies and trolls. Keep up the good work dear stella.
Please i need to get this off my chest this year 2016 and know what i want to do next so i had to put this down.
So i met this guy from singles n mingles in Feb, he stays in Qatar and I in Lagos. We connected and we have been really going strong. I really really like this guy as in with all my heart and the feeling is very mutual.
I am a single mum and i didn't hide that fact from the onset but he accepted me and my kids and loved them all like his own. Buys them little thoughtful stuff on jumia and have it delivered as a surprise, does little cute things like buying me lunch even when hes not here, sending me money sometimes on his own volition, stuff like that. He is not rich or anything but just ok. And i am very ok myself so its not even about money.
He came in May and we met physically and all that :) (Sorry i wasn't a mermaid o). lol. Anyway he was here for about a month and then left back to Qatar. We are always communicating about our daily life and everything,he knows me in and out and likewise.
Main issue is the lies. He lies some very petty and unnecessary lies that i started finding it hard to believe anything he says at all. e.g. he has called me up before to say "i shopped online for you and they would have it delivered in 2 weeks so keep a look out".
And then a month would go by, maybe i have even forgotten sef, and i would remember and say ah han where is the clothes you said you shopped for me sef and he would start giving me stories geez and i would be like why did you even tell me you shopped for me, i didnt even ask you to shop in the first place. Just little lies that make no sense i dont want to make my mail so long.
Well,he was supposed to come this xmas on the 5th, he shifted to 8th, then 12th. On the 11th i asked him what time is your flight so i can come pick you up from the airport, all of a sudden stories entered the gist. Why did he have to wait till 11th for me to ask then start giving me stories.I was so upset i told him off about me not being able to deal with lies.
The reasons he gave may be valid but cos of the previous experiences i cannot even believe anything he says.
Aside all of that on some previous posts, i saw some negative comments about him that got me worried which he termed to be bitter people he was talking with before and stopped talking to when we started dating.
Aside all of that on some previous posts, i saw some negative comments about him that got me worried which he termed to be bitter people he was talking with before and stopped talking to when we started dating.
I dont know what to believe right now. We are both not on speaking terms. I really really like this guy, we both connect on the same level, he is smart, funny, gentle and very matured but the lies..... I dont know if i can deal with it.
He has tried reaching out to me but, am confused if i want to take this into 2017 or just move on with my life.
Kindly advise Stella and BV's
Thanks.
I already told you how i feel bout this when we sent email back and forth.let me see if someone else shares my opinion.
When a man lies...They keep doing it over and over again,to cover the previous lies
ReplyDeleteBetter use your head now and not your heart
@Galore
This is the guy that also gave bv trinity a promise ring but instead she said it was engagement ring. I am waiting for trinity to advise you hahahahahaa
DeleteComment section about to be LIT!
DeleteEnd time poster na im u be. So this is a chronicle? Women and nagging ehhnn.... then look for another man that will accept you and your baby. All you want is a perfect man. Are you perfect? Abegi.... you'd better sit up and settle down with the guy. Yeye... end time perfect nagging woman.
DeleteSo which of these names does he bear?
ReplyDeleteDemi the dog owner in magodo? Ifeanyi with the tiny dick? Collins the married man that fucked a girl on the floor on the island because he wants to be faithful to his matrimonial bed?
Poster which one is your problem? That that he didn't buy you clothes or what?
End time poster na im u be. So this is a chronicle? Women and nagging ehhnn.... then look for another man that will accept you and your baby. All you want is a perfect man. Are you perfect? Abegi.... you'd better sit up and settle down with the guy. Yeye... end time perfect nagging woman.
DeleteDon't live your life using past mistakes.
ReplyDeleteThis man isn't perfect like the rest of us but at least it's obvious he is trying. What exactly are you two doing? Dating for fun or for something long lasting? You both need to discuss it and find a resolution. You don't want to take it to the new year, you have about 3 days more to sort it out and get it over with.
He had gotten gifts for your kids without you askING for it. He is making efforts and you should appreciate it.
Besides what does he do in Dubai and is he based there permanently?
If you're so sure he lies then you need to let him know you can't handle it and the relationship should end.
You can't say you are tired and on one hand you're professing your love for him. You need to decide what you want once and for all and get it over it.
You're not a baby at least you have babies you already take care of.
You both should talk like adults.
You're either in or out. Ask him what he really wants from this and you too tell him what you want.
My Doppel, I'm not with you on this one today o. Lol
DeletePoster! Has it occured to you that this man may be married? Has it occured to you that he may be hiding a lot of things about his life? Esp bcos u two are thousands of miles apart? Pls examine this rlsp again. It may be time to walk away
End time poster na im u be. So this is a chronicle? Women and nagging ehhnn.... then look for another man that will accept you and your baby. All you want is a perfect man. Are you perfect? Abegi.... you'd better sit up and settle down with the guy. Yeye... end time perfect nagging woman.
DeleteI dnt think this is an issue,you just have to control him on that.but if you think u can't deal just walk away.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmm the lies I can't deal
DeleteBut you have to tell him how you feel about him lying to you,talk to him
Don't just let go just like that.
Your know him better than anyone here, so you should be able to decide if you want to continue with him.
ReplyDeleteIf your mind tell you things are not right, just believe it.
Wish you well.
End time poster na im u be. So this is a chronicle? Women and nagging ehhnn.... then look for another man that will accept you and your baby. All you want is a perfect man. Are you perfect? Abegi.... you'd better sit up and settle down with the guy. Yeye... end time perfect nagging woman.
DeleteAnd the guy in question is littering up everywhere with end time poster na Im you be matter, LMAO
DeleteAs in
DeleteChronicles ree o
ReplyDeletewhen yo coms to lies!!! ts a No! No!! No!!! for me.. koda!!!
ReplyDeleteEverything will def scata someday noni coz I see u can't manage his lies poster.. kukuma scata it now (D earlier d beta) coz somtyms we lyk som1 but they re not ready to stay.. therefore, start something new in 2017
No comment, lemme hear from the relationship experts.
ReplyDeleteNo one is perfect!
ReplyDeleteSince he is a good man,try and see if you can overlook his imperfect side
Call him and tell him how his lies are affecting the relationship and how it has made you lose trust in him! Hear what he has to say and try to work it out from there.
But if you feel you can't deal anymore, then please move on! Don't settle for less
His nose should be as long as that of Pinocchio.
ReplyDeleteLies don't sit well with me, infact it destroys the trust 1st, then when the trust is gone, it has a domino effect on everyother thing like the love, commitment, inner peace.... Why is he trying to make himself be who he's clearly not? Seems to me there's more skeleton in his closet u hvnt uncovered, brace urself, if you can be open about ur kids, he shldnt hv shit to hide, to be accepted, being that u both connect so well, you can play ur own detective on him b4 going further or withdrawing, cus right now its not just ur life hes trying to walk into, ur kids as well, so u have to be more careful than a single lady.
Too much sense de worry,why are you an unbeliever?
DeleteToo much sense de worry you*
DeleteRecession is worrying the man. He is having cold feet on what to do with you and your children. Abeg move on except you are enjoying Sex to cool body down.
ReplyDeleteYou are now getting confused
Okay, let me advice you because my husband is exactly like yours. We dated for 4 years and have been married for 17 years. He can lie for Jupiter. I caught him a lot of times.I got upset, broke off with him multiple times and got back with him. He is the best husband I could ask for. Caring loving and a good father to his kids..Hejust can't stopnlieing to impress me and get out of difficult situations. If you love him and get along with him, talk to him about it, tell him how you feel about it. It will not go away entirely but will reduce significantly. Nobody is perfect. We all tell lies sometimes but its exaggerated for some other people. I wish u
ReplyDeleteYou well, and please don't listen to these fake BV's who all live in glass houses with their fake unrealistic advice.All na packaging...follow your heart.....I have spoken
Come, are we married to the same husband?my husband can lie for a living, and most times the lies are uncalled for. He loves us and sometimes I will be wondering why the lies. Men sha.
DeleteYour liar (dishonest) man is the best husband you could ask for? You no well
DeleteReally? I don't agree with you. You're the one packaging because you can't trust your husband. I am a very honest and straight forward person and I can't stand lies like wise my hubby.Poster your heart tells you something is wrong then it is. Please follow your instincts.
DeleteHi anon 15:18 you nailed it when you said "sit him down tell him how you feel" at least let him know the lies are uncalled for. He is fine without them. Simple should not be complicated.
DeleteAnon, your comments reminds me of a one-eyed man who is encouraging his two-eyed friend to engage in "stone-play" with him. Where they throw stones at each other and laugh about it. Who doesn't know that the one-eyed man is aiming for his friends eye too so that he won't be the only one walking around with one eye? Yao you married a liar, you now want a fellow woman to do the same, right? Poster, plead don't listen to such o! That guy sounds like a proper fraudster. Only God knows how he's even been getting the stuffs he's been getting for your kid/kids. Because if you really order something with your own money, you won't be forgetting like that but if you "drag plastic", some will gobthru amf some won't. Whenever you think he's surprising you with gifts, he himself might have been surprised because he wasn't sure if that particular fraud would go thru or not. Those kind of guys will leg it and leave you to be answering jamb questions when yawah don gas. My former roommate used to date someone like that, they're bad news. He's either into fraud or a general chronic liar, neither is good. You can never be secure or at peace with a chronic liar as a partner, don't listen to this anon saying a lying hubby is the best thing to happen to her. Move on with your life. One thing is for sure, misery definitely loves company........ Just Me
DeleteYour husband is a liar and he is the best you could ever ask for?!! Wow! which kain life be dat? Can't imagine living with a liar! Until he cheats on you and gives you HIV.
DeleteI understand your fear and am currently kind of in this place with my man, he seems to have started that lately tho, I have scolded him several times, it maybe that he doesn't just have the money yet or don't take life seriously and expect you to understand him at a stretch, he may as well not be committed. Lies, no matter how small it is, is not healthy for any relationship, above all, girl, am sorry to announce this to you, make up your mind, to halt this relationship or move it ahead is up to you. BOL
ReplyDeleteWhen I saw "he lies a lot... ", I stopped reading. Believe me, you want to have nothing to do with a liar, A liar is just a liar. Even very little things are lied about... Sister, flee!
ReplyDeleteTrust is very important in any reltionship. If u don't trust him, let go. I hate lies and deceit with passion. Very irritating. If I can't trust u, then, I can't respect u. Let him Go!
ReplyDeleteOkay, let me advice you because my husband is exactly like yours. We dated for 4 years and have been married for 17 years. He can lie for Jupiter. I caught him a lot of times.I got upset, broke off with him multiple times and got back with him. He is the best husband I could ask for. Caring loving and a good father to his kids..Hejust can't stopnlieing to impress me and get out of difficult situations. If you love him and get along with him, talk to him about it, tell him how you feel about it. It will not go away entirely but will reduce significantly. Nobody is perfect. We all tell lies sometimes but its exaggerated for some other people. I wish u
ReplyDeleteYou well, and please don't listen to these fake BV's who all live in glass houses with their fake unrealistic advice.All na packaging...follow your heart.....I have spoken
Madam 15:22, it's always evident when reasonable and experienced women drop comments here. God bless you for this good advice. Most of the outlaws and outcasts here are already telling her"drop him" "I can't deal", forgetting people come in different shades. My late uncle was a great man, but he couldn't do without lying. Some people lie to you without knowing it. It might be his own imperfection. This forum isn't a place any serious minded person approaches for counseling. It's a haven for very frustrated and bitter aunties constantly dishing out destructive pieces of advice to helpless women in order to drag them to their League of Advanced Bitter Women (LABW). The few good pieces of advice are usually subsumed because LABWs dominate. Poster, listen to anon 15:22.
DeleteSee abuja boy, yu r on point.. Aahh.. Yu r very.. I don't know what to say... I raise Beyonce yansh for u... Everybody here seems to foget we all HV sinned n fallen short of God's blessing... He who hasn't sinned shud cast d stone.. Everyone forming responsible.. I for send u card for yur comment..
DeleteThis is just like my sister in law's hubby. He's a good man really but he can lie! His wife has come to accept him that way. He once told his wife he had bought her a car. She was so happy cos he sold the one she was using cos of its issues and she immediately told me. It's been six months now and we have not seen the car yet, lol. He's a lovely husband and great dad tho but as for me, I can't deal with unnecessary lies. If my sister in law's hubby tells you it's dawn, just go out and confirm for yourself cos it may be dusk. Poster, just try to tell him your mind and see if he improves, give him a little more time.
DeleteBv happy life
Anon 15:22. You can deal with a liar, good for you. Not every one can. So give your advice and let others give theirs. Lying is a huge dent on a person's character. Why not just tell the truth. Don't make excuses for such behavior. Who knows what other vices you tolerate from your lying husband which you won't say here. Even the Bible says if you want a long life, keep your tongue from telling lies. What is bad is bad.
DeleteSome people can deal with liars, personally I can't. That is a no no for me in a relationship. I can't be with someone that I couldn't trust the words coming from their mouth. However it's a personal choice, I realise. Poster it's up to you to decide whether or not u can deal because that lying trait is with him forever.
DeleteDre 💯. Mtcheew, 15:22 good you are managing your liar hubby, but you are already married. Poster you have seen a liar and want to chook head? Ok na, your pot of pottage. Just sha know you can NEVER beat your chest and vouch for a liar in any situation.
DeleteLike seriously you advise someone to stick to a lier, please how do you trust him? Issues might come up later in life and you need to defend him or even testify how do you go about doing that when you know he might not be innocent. #Cantdeal
DeleteJust move on with your life if you cannot deal with lies.
ReplyDeleteOnly that comma in his life can send him to hell. Haven't u heard? All liars shall perish. Leave the liar abeg. An honest man will stand before kings. Honesty is the best policy. Don't compromise my dear.
ReplyDelete15:26 👍 You can never go wrong with a man of integrity.
DeleteToo too unserious, when a man is really into you,he won't lie this way, lying about his travel date?big joke,the signs are there already so count your teeth with your tongue.
ReplyDeleteMadam the guy don chop clean mouth. NO VEX.
ReplyDeleteSome see "lies" and "lying" as nothing;while its A big deal to most..
ReplyDeleteFor me;i can cope with everything on earth except two categories of people..and that is A "Dedicated" LIAR;and A "THIEF"..
In regards to yours @poster;its up to you;cos what you allow is what will continue..
If his lies are routinely told;then i believe you must have expressed Yourself to him on how you feel regarding his silly lies..so if he is still on it and doesnt care on how you feel regarding that;then you both arent compatible! cos if you end up with such A man even with all his good part;you 'd still see yourself hurting over his unnecessary lies..
You have the choice to make;but please dont go back begging if he cant bring himself to apologise and give you good reasons for turning you on and off regarding him travelling..
#Goodluck and always remember that if you lose this man;you 'd still see A better man out there who would love and take care of you and your child..
BEING A SINGLE MUM DOESNT MAKE YOU lESS HUMAN,OR MEAN THAT YOU WOULD TOLERATE EVERY NON-SENSE..
@MARTINS ABOY
Your comments are ALWAYS on point. Keep it up!
DeleteIf he lies these much on petty issues,what about if he deeply has some hidden things he may be hiding from you? Cos whoever can lie,can also keep heart wrenching secrets that may tear one apart.
ReplyDeleteSo i'l advice you look beyond the love you have for him and ask yourself if you will be able to deal with a man like this.
I hate little spontaneous lies.
ReplyDeleteAnd funny thing is that the liars do not even think much of it.. they wave it aside like it's trivial.
I think anyone that lies this way is very unserious,I'm sorry.
You have kids ma'am.. you cannot afford to have an unstable person in your life.
Since he lies so much,how do you even believe him when he says the women dropping negative comments here about him are trying to destroy your relationship??
Is he single? Do you know his family here?
I'm sure the people that dropped those negative comments about him will have a field day here.
Once you feel uneasy about something,no peace of mind.. trust me,sometimes that is God talking.
I see you've been having doubts for a long time.. but because of your feelings and the lust,you still think you might be wrong,well...You are the one that will make the final call.
Good luck!
Lol poster, Linus full SnM. Just borrow yourself brain o.. met one .. he has been so nice and all sort. Someone called him out of recent forming love .. I was just laughing.
ReplyDeleteApparently, he calls us same pet name...
Dude is a smooth operator.. them full here
Poster, forget him and live your life Biko.
Is it ayodeji the Australian guy? Lol, does he call u iyawo mi? Lmao abeg my belle they pain me.
DeleteIs it ayodeji the Australian guy? Lol, does he call u iyawo mi? Lmao abeg my belle they pain me.
DeleteNo it is not that waste of a human body ayo, na God go help me punish ayodeji forever. This is the same guy that gave trinity a promise ring and she came here to change to engagement ring. I know him very very well. I know he will see this comment and this chronicles he hates being casted.
DeleteIs it loopy the pilot? Coz that name has been reigning o. Lol
DeleteNa wa o, so no wedding for trinity? Why do women change promose ring to engagement ring? And wtf is a promise ring for? I promise to engage u???
DeleteAnon who gives a naija woman promise ring and she go collect? Which one be promise ring ?Are we white? Abeg park well. this one you have been on trinitys case are you egbes supposed ex wife who he claimed cheated on him 3 days after wedding?
DeleteI'm not his ex wife but he told me all the gist between him and trinity. He also told me his ex wife dey this blog and she can see all comments about him but maybe na lie. I ask him why he come give am promise ring he said she don pressure am die for marriage but his mum said not yet so he gave her the ring to shut her up na she come change am for us on this blog.
DeleteThis anon you must very stupid oh. Someone everybody is talking about here on this blog and he told you he gave trinity promise ring and you believed? You must be one of the desperate girls he is after. Why the so much venom for someone you donr know? trinity pressured him for marriage? Youre as stupid as he is. Somebody that kept on pestering trinity and practically begged her to marry him. She's my very close friend so I know everything That happened right from day one when he added her on Snm so shut the fuck up.It's unfortunate that she had anything to do with someone like him but who knew? We all didn't know he was like that. She dumped him immediately he found out all his rubbish and we have proof.why u dey carry fire for your head? Are you his sister Sarah also called osasere who helped decieve my friend?? We also found his wedding pics where he got married April 2015 and we all shock.pictures will be sent to Stella. I am also a bv but hardly comment.
DeleteKikikikikiki beg trinity fireeeeee. Let me go and find him to come and defend himself seems like una dey craze gan. Trinity was the one on his neck, she dumped him yinmu Hahahaha he dumped her and blocked her hahahahaha
DeleteTrinity dey lie small small abeg.
Anon shut it I have evidence of all their convo. I even spoke to the god forbid of a humanbeing. He told her from the get go he would marry her. Better watch it before you carry another person cause for head. My friend dropped him as soon as she found out he is married. Get ur facts right. So someone that is confirmed liar told u something and you believed B.A?? Sweetheart better change in fact add it to ur new year resolution to stop believing everything that liar told u.
DeleteSo dewdrop you finally came out of anon mode abi aka defender of trinity hehehehehe
DeleteKeep calm boo and wait for him to send his own reply, he is currently composing it.
Obodo oyinbo Nigerians!..
ReplyDeletePoster pls wait for ur advice is processing.......
Thnk you for blogging with us.
Mc pinky
You shouldn't have slept with him .
ReplyDeleteHe's not that into you .....
I pray God helps you to make a sound decision.
ReplyDeleteMadam, you are opening your legs and collecting pe*ises and you are condemning someone for telling "small unnecessary lies?" Change your ways first woman. Remove the log in your eyes before you see the sawdust in someone else's eyes.
ReplyDeleteLmaoooooo, whose sin senior pass?
DeleteSince he said he lies from the bad experiences he had, have you cared to know what those experiences are?
ReplyDeleteA good way to stop liars is to make them trust you so that they will able to tell you anything.
Make him trust you,make him see reasons he shouldn't be telling those white lies. It will not be easy for him to stop at first since he has gotten used to lying but continue, with time he will stop lying
No advice
ReplyDeleteThis woman is still promiscuous in spite of having bred kids in the past. The questions are:
ReplyDeleteWhy did the father's of your kids not find you worthy for marriage?
Could it be due to your promiscuous nature seeing that you have not changed from it?
Why do you condemn this man when you falter character-wise?
You can't deal with his "little lies" why not move on?
The sexual activity you touted about obviously isn't with this man alone seeing that he lives outside the country; is it?
Why have you made yourself an instrument in the hands of the devil to multiply the unfaithful among men?
Why condemn another when you are full of impurity too?
Why not concern yourself with beginning the New Year with a New life in Christ?
Lol. I was waiting to read this kinda comments
DeleteBecause prick sweet die.
DeletePreaching comments don start ooo. Lol
DeleteLots of them behave to be holy and come here to preach to others whereas they are living with the wounds they got through their inability to endure and be a good wife to their man. I know someone who is living with the pains of what she had done, I was very kind and good to her, she made life miserable an frustrating just because i had nothing and she left but glory be to God I'm counting my blessings in just little time of separation, she even went ahead and lied against me.. There is always a reward for everything we do
DeletePple be connecting thru. Single & mingle since 1900.
ReplyDeleteWill read comments..
Since it's bothering you now, you will eventually get tired. Just move on.
ReplyDeleteLet him go.... He is not serious just a fuck boy. You already gave him pussy so it's your loss
ReplyDeleteBetter leave my Qatar boyfriend alone o, he ducked my pussy when he came to naija and I love him too and yes he lies a lot, lie wey for wake dead body from grave
ReplyDeleteThe guy preys only on single mothers. God will punish him
DeleteAnon 16:04.
DeleteYou did not complete the statement.. After waking dead body with lies,e go give am transport fare make e reach house.
Poster I know who you are talking about. Bini guy. Claiming divorced while he is married.Claiming 31 Abi hahhhhhaaaaaa??? Claims he's an engineer too
ReplyDeletePoster, this same guy from Qatar told me sister that he's name is Sam, he even gave her a ring. She's a single mother too. He sends her money, gifts, etc but then my sis knew something seemed a bit off cos he lies a lot. She did some snooping and found out that he's married, newly married too. I swear I hate that nigger so much, he's lucky he didn't try such with someone like me. I for go spiritual on top him head to useless his life even more. Idiot!
DeleteI hope his name Is not Nesta. Benin boy too. Married and incidentally I saw his marriage on social media. Hmmmm na me just day stupid. I no no where naija guy they bear Nesta!!!!
DeleteI know it's Egbe after reading the chronicle. Yeye dey smell, poster let him be and please move on with your life.
DeleteAnon 18:38 yes oh. His instagram name is nestaQuin but he padlocked It hahhhaahhaa. Dropping different names anyhow to women
DeleteI have a little song for you. Here it goes: *clears throat*. "Let it go. Let it go. Turn away and slam the door."
ReplyDeleteMaybe he is married with kids in Qatar. You seem to be the one receiving him as a visitor. What about his family ties in Nigeria? Have you gone to visit him? I don't think you know this man as much as u think. Online dating is totally different from face to face reality. This is a one sided situationship. open your eyes my dear.
ReplyDeleteErrrhh, why don't you talk to him about it, stating how the lies are affecting you in the relationship. Let him know there's no need to lie to you, you can also help him in prayers... I don't know o
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm! Honey, as a single mum, the standards you set for a partner has to be higher because your kids are involved as well. Once a man is infused into their lives, you can't easily yank him away because you have to consider the feelings of your kids as well as yours. Before you allow your partner meet your kids, you have to be very certain he is for keeps and, more importantly, he wants you and your kids for keeps as well.
ReplyDeleteDo you consider lies a deal breaker in a relationship? If you do, then it's game over! Personally, I'm a stickler for honesty. If I don't want my hubby to lie to me, I avoid asking certain questions because I loathe lies. It's that bad, but I know ladies who don't mind lies and I respect their opinion in spite of how I feel about lies. I know as humans we all lie every now and then but those very unnecessary lies are very annoying and it reveals the character of an individual. If he can tell "white lies" can you imagine the "missiles" he will be keeping from you? My darling, let him go now before it gets more complicated. Please consider how his constant lies can hurt your kids.
Long distance relationships are challenging but the #1 factor that is indispensable for the relationship to work, is trust. For all you know, he could be "very married" with kids and mistresses in every area code. How can you believe anything he tells you with such a track record? Even when he is being honest, you will always second guess him. How can you defend him when other ladies leave negative comments about him? Any lady can post lies about him but you have no choice than to assume the worst because he isn't an honest man.
This relationship is D.O.A, no need for resuscitation. Lay it to rest for your sanity and for the stability of your kids. Honey, please, don't introduce the next guy you date to your kids until you are very sure of his intentions. You can be upfront about your kids but he doesn't have to meet them yet. As women, we are resilient. We can recover from a heartbreak or a failed relationship and move on to the next guy but the minds of kids are still fragile, developing and impressionable. Protect them. Don't allow them deal with men walking in and out of their lives. They wouldn't understand and can grow up to have commitment issues or other emotional and psychological issues. I'm even more concerned about the effects this has on your kids. Please be extremely cautious about whom you date and allow into their lives.
#e-bearhugs.
Where do I send ur kisses?
DeleteYou are simply super intelligent . Most intellectual advice I've ever read here, your choice of words also explains how well read you are. Believe me, you are a friend I would like to meet and keep. Xxx
DeletePoster read the above comment over and over. It will do you good and it's all you need!
DeleteMrsBee
God bless you for this comment. Double e-hugs.
DeleteRonalda, a million likes for your comment. 👍👏
DeleteU meant Sam? But we exposed him here na. Don't know what he wants with us single moms. Sweetheart move on with ur life. And remember to take your kids for deliverance. If he met them. Only God knows if he is occultic because I don't know his thirst for single moms. You didn't mention he promised you marriage or he forgot to tell u?
ReplyDeleteHis name is not sam oh! He has different names he used for different girls on the blog. His native name is egbe
DeleteHa... please other single moms come out and share your experiences.
DeleteLmao.....lol you are right trinity
DeleteLmao.....lol you are right trinity
DeleteSee story. Hehehe
DeleteHis name is also Alex on Skype. Thank God I deleted him on time.
DeleteHe also use kokeh
DeleteTrinity so na promise ring he give u?? Lol wow. And u sent it a long story talking about being engaged and how the nigga adores ur son. U no even wait u rush come tell us story lol. Wow. Just wow!
DeleteYes anon 19:21 he is also Alex on Skype
DeleteAlex on Skype, Sam or Egbe on bbm...we spoke for a bit but then he suddenly disappeared, perhaps cos I'm not a single mother. Claiming divorced cos his wife cheated, PhD student, working in Qatar...these are d lies I can remember so far...
DeleteSomeone who lies a lot is not to be trusted.no matter how much it hurts, the one in future is greater. Please let go.
ReplyDelete#Don't try to change people. Just love them. Love is what changes us*
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmmm
ReplyDelete😐😐😐
ReplyDeleteJasmine pls advice her
DeleteJacinta, I tire to talk o. Dunno what to say
DeleteAnon kwa? Since when? Hian!!!
Deleteposter please mail me,i have ''TEA'' for you
ReplyDeleteStella how are you doing
DeleteStella hope it's not my tea u wanna privatize 😜. Please post it for all to learn. I'm sure that dude is dating more than one girl on this blog
DeleteStella post the tea here. It's high time he is exposed. Wicked soul.
DeleteThat anon that keeps calling my name up there. What's your issue with me pls? Did I snatch your husband? Pls tell me what your problem is
DeleteMy problem is you told him you hate yorubas, sebi I told you one day one day your yansh go open. If I type epistle this post go blow. He told me everything about you guys but I kept silent till I saw your stupid comments abusing Yorubas which provoked me. Sebi he was giving you money monthly, when he came in that may he bought plenty things for you and your son. You pressure him for marriage him mama said no but him dash you promise ring. Sebi when he ended it that's why you dissapeared for months then reappeared recently. I have screen shots of you sending him your bank details, which includes your real name. I don't care for your life or destiny but never I'm your life talk bad about a tribe, we all have bad experiences with people from diff tribes. At the end of the day we are all one Nigeria. Let this be a lesson to you next time to shut your mouth.
DeleteWait oh so Trinity it's Egbe Igbins that engaged u??? Hahahaha wow. What a choice for a man. That smallish man?? And Dewdrop was busy shouting all over the place that she's happy for you. Yet na one chance man lol. Anyway ladies this goes to show that all that glitters ain't gold. Pele trinity and Dewdrop
DeleteAnon, Shut up! I say shut that stinking soakaway you call a mouth.
DeleteAren't you stupid? A man that has lied to all single mothers here you are busy reciting all he told you upandan. Dont you know he is telling another woman lies about you too. That guy needs deliverance and you are forming felationship. Mumu! Fish brain! Trinity didnt die from the experience so do you think she will go into coma from this your lil threats.Na small pikin dey worry you. If you think sbe has offended yoir tribe, there are ways to bash her and not famzing with the Nesta fool claiming you have screenshots. Unless you have her nude pics dear, you have nothing so shush it.
Anon 07:39 no one knew he was a one chance man. We practically begged trinity to date him as he was seriously on her case.the man is evil.Someone we found out has 3 Facebook accounts for deceving people under different names.
DeleteAnon 07:36 which plenty things did he buy her child? Did you ask him useless somebody? Desperado oshi to be bekiving a chronic liar. See uselss threats oh.he told you he ended it and you believed? Hahhhhaaaaa it's obvious you are into the guy.Pls go on. No let his wife catch you uh. Carry matter wey no concern you like gala for head
Na wa! See wahala on top man. Trinity u should have known better. U were desperate whether u admit it or not. All of u he deceived were desperate, maybe coz una be after one, but ur asses were desperate. And to think Trinity started advising people on Chronicles like she has arrived, and all her comments started to reek of the holier than thou aroma. Yet na serious one chance she dey. Smh. In fact this is the most hilarious shit ever on SDKB
DeleteAnon 9:17 aka trinity Pele ti e kikikikikikiki. He has no lies to say about me, he doesn't even know my real name. Phahahahhahahahaha e dey pain una oooooo hehehehehehe
DeleteBetter no tear pant and bra join hahahhaa
Una should keep calm tho I don follow him talk Stella expect his email to you with receipts of trinity's liessssss
DeleteWhoever this man is should ho hide his face,the fact he lied about who he is and wasn't honest is enough for him ti be sober. Even if Trinity is lieing it does not matter anymore. He needs to be sober and apologetic instead of defending his stupidity up and down. What is it with men these days?
DeleteLmao...Pele trinity,i used to root for u till u said yorubas disgust u
DeleteThe Egbe guy is definitely the anonymous insulting Trinity. Jobless.
DeleteI dnt even knw wat 2 say cos it's possible his married over dia or he is goin tru hard times
ReplyDeletePoster since u already know he lies about little things, why wait 4 him to lie abt a major thing, since the trust in ur relationship is shaken pls dnt force it back, bcos u will always be suspicious of him and dat will take away ur joy,
ReplyDeleteAsk yourself,how much longer can you accept the lies? Someone may be going out of his way to impress you and when he can't live up to it,he cooks up a lie.
ReplyDeletePoster, evaluate and reevaluate your life. At this stage of your life, do you have space to accept a lying father figure to your kids? A man that will make u feel uncertain? What's love without trust?
Ur greatest undoing will be playing the card of desperation... 'May be when we get married everything will fall into place' and when this fails, 'may be if i get pregenant and have his child he'll change'. Don't live a life of torment and regret after your life experiences. You know best the reason you're a single parent. Do u wanna add another kid to the ones u already as a single parent?
Amy Grant once said "every good relationship, especially marriage, is based on respect. If it's not based on respect, nothing that appears to be good will last very long".
If he respects, there wouldn't be room for consistent and 'irrelevant' lies.
"A relationship will either make the majority of your life happy or miserable. It is important to take your time and make sure that it is a wise choice beforemaking a commitment".
Pamela Cummins.
A liar is a thief, cheat, and fake. If you can deal with all this, go on but if not, Kick his ass and move on.
ReplyDeleteIf he can lie easily over little things then the future is not bright.
ReplyDeleteSam egbe a Engr in Qatar, claimed to be divorced that he gave his wife the house he built in ikorodu as pay off, has a sister working with Emirates, read his story here was sure glad I dodged a bullet, so he us still on the pret. Its well
ReplyDeleteHey poster, I don't normally post but if your talking of Sam, Egbe etc. from Bini that lives in Qatar please run. The guy that gave me another name and when I found his real name, claimed the fake name was his twin's name...ran for my dear life lool. He's got a pedigree in lying, we got chatting sometime this year and I google-policed him and found out alot about him. He's even accused of fraud on nairaland. ladies always research on any guy before making commitments because most abroad blokes are married.
ReplyDeleteBeing single is not a curse! please as a singlemum , every relationship u are going in should be microwaved to prevent the unforseen from happening. Desperation is a deal breaker, it makes you to make excuses, no excuses face the reality, the man is a user, time waster, please leave him in 2106.
ReplyDeletemen now feel that they are doing we women favour, every unserious man should be left in 2016, no time for wasters.
ReplyDeleteIt's your choice to make the decision that please you.....consider the kind of life you want for yourself.....and please talk to God in prayer, he will direct your path.....
ReplyDeleteStella be removing comments you hear, if you don't post my comment I will drop it in IHN tomorrow mtchewwwww
ReplyDeleteLOL! Is his name Sam Egbe Igbinovia? RUNNNNN!
ReplyDeleteAn engineer in Qatar, he recently got divorced, came to Nigeria in May. Dude was freaking homeless that period. He kept lying that he was staying at his married sister's house but was sick of staying there. I lodged him in the hotel I worked in. He lied of how he wanted to buy a house in Royal Gardens estate at Ajah LOL. Also said his marriage to his ex wife was all over bella naija; I checked bella naija tire I no see.
Dude is just a psycho abeg. Hopefully he doesn't go down with AIDS or herpes with the way he's going. His facebook name is Egbe Igbins.
I wonder where Trinity dey when u dey check am into the hotel u dey work....lol
DeleteJust checked him out on facebook.
DeleteLoooooooool
Why are some men like this???
ReplyDeleteAnd u poster stop fucking anyhow.and go do HIV test I suspect he gbensh u skin to skin from ur record ie women don't get pregnant by using protection.
Always do ur research.confirm the guy is trustworthy and responsible b4 u open legs.
Wow! I feel for Trinity. How was she suppose to know he was a scam. A better man will come dear.
ReplyDeleteso you are still asking question about moving on or letting go in 2017... if you like carry him on your back till 2019,,, then when it finally ends woefully(whether you marry him or not, the signs are there.. its not all about him taking you to the altar.. we know these tins na...) .... you start going from one prayer house to another to rain curses on a man that ruined your life... no... a man you permitted to ruin your life!
ReplyDelete