Hmmm...
GIVING IN TO PRESSURE FROM MEN..
Good day,stella.
Want to hear people's opinions about my story.
I am a young girl,in my 5th year in school,an entrepreneur and God fearing too. I am blessed tho like big ass,bust,tall,beautiful etc.
I dont know if i have issues with my relationship or with myself.i like to date people who are much older than me like 5-7yrs difference.don't like the age-grade stuff,because am a bossy person and i unintentionally dominate people.
Am wondering if it's all my fault,i am not ready to have s3x not yet.do I have a problem or am i asking for too much. When people see me, they are like "hmm who's the lucky guy" or who's taking care of you like this" "i wish i had a body like yours etc. Meanwhile, am lonely tho but I keep a happy face.
The worst of it all,is when some people see me,they see me like "this babe don bang taya. Cos of my ass meanwhile the reverse is the case.
Good day,stella.
Want to hear people's opinions about my story.
I am a young girl,in my 5th year in school,an entrepreneur and God fearing too. I am blessed tho like big ass,bust,tall,beautiful etc.
I dont know if i have issues with my relationship or with myself.i like to date people who are much older than me like 5-7yrs difference.don't like the age-grade stuff,because am a bossy person and i unintentionally dominate people.
I like to stay around people who I can learn from and lean on.right now marriage is not a goal for me.just want a friend that I can grow together with.
But I just keep meeting odd people,maybe rich,good-looking but the only thing 95% of guys I meet want is s3x and if I refuse,it ends there. My longest relationship was my secondary school crush my classmate too.now my colleague is crushing on me.he is a nice person but thats not what I want.
But I just keep meeting odd people,maybe rich,good-looking but the only thing 95% of guys I meet want is s3x and if I refuse,it ends there. My longest relationship was my secondary school crush my classmate too.now my colleague is crushing on me.he is a nice person but thats not what I want.
I broke up with my ex cos he kept complaining about me not being all mushy and no s3x. I met this guy in the bank and i felt we could start something but he started making advances and i refused him and since then the whole thing Went off,we still say hi and hello in church.each time I come to the bank to do some transactions he offers help but just like friends.another barrister I met last year.he calls once in a month with complaints of how I keep turning him down and i don't how,I tried getting close putting down my pride but it's still same advances and he barely calls.
Another was guy i met,he was nice,just normal from a rich home,stayed together for some time but the s3x topic came and he was like there is no need for the relationship if s3x was not part of it.i can keep going on and on about several guys.
Am wondering if it's all my fault,i am not ready to have s3x not yet.do I have a problem or am i asking for too much. When people see me, they are like "hmm who's the lucky guy" or who's taking care of you like this" "i wish i had a body like yours etc. Meanwhile, am lonely tho but I keep a happy face.
The worst of it all,is when some people see me,they see me like "this babe don bang taya. Cos of my ass meanwhile the reverse is the case.
*My dear continue keeping those legs closed like a mermaids...S3x is not food!..If you ask those who gave in to pressure to sleep with men for relationships,you will find out that it didnt get better after they did.
Let your NO contnue being NO.....When a man you fit into his ribs find you,sleeping with you will be the last thing on his mind.
Carry go!
Oh well isn't this the dilemma of every Nigerian girl? I think most girls go through this and that's just how God wants to separate the good one's from the bad one's.
ReplyDeleteWhen you're pretty on top of it, they assume you have lots of suitors or lovers which isn't always the case.
It will only take time but the right guy will come. The one you will even be willing to sleep with and he'd say no "let's wait".
Do not give in to these men, it's obvious sex is all they want. Giving in won't keep them or make them love you more. You will be fine and like you said you're not ready for marriage, so why are you worried? The only problem here are the silly men and not you.
Hold on.
Me thinks u enjoying all d attention.
DeletePls do not give in to pre marital sex. All the guys you've met have nothing to offer you. You sleep with them at your risk. They will eventually break up with you and you begin to have body count. Focus on your education. Graduate with flying colours and get that perfect job or business. Men will beg you. And not all this chew gum boys.
DeleteIt's very good you are keeping your ground on the no sex part. But I ll also advise you look into your character. Most Men usually get attracted to a lady and usually all they want is sex. It happened to me to. But the thing is if they find something in you(good character) worth waiting for, most will be willing to stay if not they zoom off. So if majority have left when you said no to sex they probably didn't see any other value in you to make them stay. Am not trying to just criticise you but to help you look inward. Ask yourself aside sex (the big books and ass) what other assets can I boast of "am I patient, am I humble and accommodating, do I tend to rub shoulders with these men that come around etc..." because if you don't take care of this aspect even if you give in and sleep with them they might end up staying for a while and still leave you. Good sex is cheap. I tell. But a gentle and quiet spirit is of great value. From my experience I said no sex before marriage too some left but most after a while stuck around and we're very "good" too. Everyone of them wanted to come see my parents after some months but na one person I go fit marry na. I got married this year a virgin and I still have a good number of my suitors n ex as friends... it all takes godly wisdom.
DeleteFor now Take time off men as you are not yet ready for marriage and work on yourself from inside out with the help of God and a godly mentor. Grace
Don't give in to the sexual pressures that will only increase your body count which you will later regret in life. Sex does not and will not keep any man. Talking from my personal experience.
DeletePoster....abeg scatter your leg like Kerosine joor😵
DeleteToto no deyy read meter😷
@Galore
Well Doppel has said it all.
DeleteWhen I read the narrative I was like... This is normal nau to have men swimming around esp when you're a certain age. So my dear, relax and stick to your personal values Abeg. It's not that serious. These men aint worth it.
Merry Christmas everyone!!!
Plus hope you're not one of those who feel like they're too much cos they have 'assets'? As much as you ain't ready for marriage now start checking it.
DeleteTry to give your age grade some chance, maybe it might work, cos that was my impression then, dated older men, who what they want is sex, which I summited to them, at the end of it all nothing good comes out of it, right now I am dating my age grade no sex,no stress, which am enjoying the relationship now
DeleteTry to give your age grade some chance, maybe it might work, cos that was my impression then, dated older men, who what they want is sex, which I summited to them, at the end of it all nothing good comes out of it, right now I am dating my age grade no sex,no stress, which am enjoying the relationship now
Delete5-6 years isn't really the way to curb yur domineering spirit. Even 10-20 years won't help
DeleteHelp yourself to understand that "Two cannot walk together unless they agree"
Don't be overly carried away with your beauty, beauty fades but inner beauty remains forever and that's what real suitors want to see
You are still in school, I bet wen u finish schooling, go for nysc and start to work, you will dp definitely meet real men and the "REAL MAN". If u ain't choosy, ....... Gbam.. It will work out well.
As for the lonely part, u r not lonely, cos u r schooling and working,u have ur hands full. If you want sex to fill the gap....... No problems (u didn't kuku say u r still a V)
Pressure is part of our existence. Even as a married woman, some men will still want sex with you. How u handle the situation is what matters.
Byeeeee
Also check your dreasing.its possible when they see you and your button and bust enhancing clothes, they feel you are telling them something by the way you dress. You mustn't flaunt it in their faces.you have it already and it's yours.try to cover up an be more decent.the decent ones will definitely find you
DeleteIf not having sex makes you you happy, don't allow someone boss you into it... Only that you are the bossy one; so, I think the manner with which you said "no" might have scared some of the guys away... I think you need to calm down with your BOSSY attitude.
ReplyDeleteThe issue is that you told us all you have; "ass, boobs, etc." without telling us about "Character"; do you have it? Men who are interested in marriage are looking for characters like patience, kindness, peacefulness, humility etc. Prostitutes have lots of "boobs and ass" if that is the real deal. I am a man and married. I like "boobs and ass"; let's be honest. But when the negative characters like; lies, pride, greed, nagging etc. surfaces, the physical attributes becomes meaningless! Sex becomes unattractive as well as the home turned to a hole.
ReplyDeletePlease do not let men "conquer you' by browsing between your legs. They will dump you. Trust The God almighty from whom good gifts come including husbands.
U got it wrong,she didn't say she was desperate for marriage, by the way what about the character of d intending husband?
DeleteApple,
DeleteSo somebody who wants a relationship/and companionship to cure her loneliness no want marriage.
Must u be the judge? What's out business with the character of the intending husband? Mtcheeeeeew
U sound soooooo shallow.
thanks stella for the advise. pls don't give in to their demands.
ReplyDeletePG18
DeleteNa wa o! I was expecting you to ask stella if she marry as a virgin.madam poster if you like when uou meet who you love and you have this feeling about him loving you back(dont ask me but we all know that if you meet who loves you, u most surly know)no fuck am.old age go be your case soon.all those stupid girls that keep advising girl not to fuck before marriage, as if them no dey fuck.they are defferent reasons people get married and i know sex is one of it.a guy can marry you just because he wants to have that toto all to himself.so madam poster, ask ur self all the leg way you done close how e take help you? Mind you very very soon all that plenty yash and boobs way you say you get,go soon melt like butter xos all na fat.Elizabeth Taylor no fuck before marriage,before only her marry 9 husband and some never still see half, what of kim nnkor?girl way her toto dey the world wild web of humans.
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN.
Anony 21:28 if she wants to be a Virgin before marriage let her be. It is her choice not yours.
DeleteStella why do you like lying to your blog visitors at times with your red pen? She's saying no sex cos she wants a guy who will prove her definition of "true love" by sticking with her till marriage so he can start collecting then after marriage.
ReplyDeleteYou forget that sex doesn't keep a marriage. God, Children, Love, Patience, Understanding and Financial Security is what keeps a marriage. There are good men out there who just want to be sure of sexual compatibility before committing whole-heatedly to a woman. Doesn't mean they are players or they wanna "chop and clean mouth".
At the end of the day, if she wants to stick to her principles of "No Sex before Marriage", then I wish her luck. With God everything is possible.
Poster, please don't listen to this person. He/she doesn't have what you have (your virginity, your pride). Do not join the multitude to do evil.
DeleteWhat is this one 15:12 saying? Yish! So you are one of them that won't let girls rest until you have sex with them, then unto the next one ba, well done. Poster stick to your guns. Most of dem wan chop clean mouth, except you are lucky. You are also sparing yourself from disease and heartbreak and pleasing God. Try to work on your attitude so that you will be a good wife, as the man is the head of the home so you can't be bossing him around. Seek God's face then rest, don't dwell on it. Your man will come. And before I go, it is not all about boobs and arse. The right man will be attracted to you physically, but more importantly will love the you in you. This is what stands the test of time.
DeleteThe truth is that as long as you don't want sex, you may keep having this problem. Most guys can't stay in a sexless relationship. That doesn't mean you should compromise though.
ReplyDeleteKeep being you, and the one for you will soon come alonh. All the best.
Merry xmas Beeèveees..
Akam di n'elu����
if you are not a virgin,use what you have to get what you want !!!!!!
ReplyDeleteEveryone can't be u though!
DeleteHian! So a lady's privates is the only thing she has?
DeleteKeep dem legs closed baibe! Don't open it until you're sure you are ready to open them!
ReplyDeleteDon't be desperate! And don't start thinking you have a problem! You don't have a problem, It's just kind of men you meet that are the problem!
All you have to do now is check yourself well, check how you dress and if it's too seductive, change your fashion to a more decent style! Keep your character and bossy nature in check! Your pride should be on a low key but don't do anything that'll make you lose your self-respect!
And pray too so that if any spiritual power is involved, you'll be free from their manipulations! Have faith! Be strong and wait for the right man! It's well with you
*Bigg Xmas hugs*
Abi o. Poster check the kind of men you attract. Please note that all men are not dogs. Women are getting married to the decent guys around so find out why you're not meeting this type. My husband never pressured me for s3x before marriage.
DeleteGbam
DeletePoster please take this comment
sleeping eyes
ReplyDeleteYou didn't indicate if you are a virgin or not. Whatever rocks your boat girl.
ReplyDeleteDoes it matter? She no wan open leg be sey she no wan open am.
DeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteDon't give in, it will get worse bc u will now start hearing, after all u are not a virgin anymore. B4 u know it, ur body count will keep increasing.
ReplyDeletePG 18
DeleteWhats all this bullshit people say about body count? Who cares who and where you fuck in a life time? Do you know how many guys ur grandmother fuck for village before she die?
That will be everybody case too as soon as you get old die and buried.no one cares to know how you lived ur life.because before you the earth was and after you, the earth will go on.as for me i go enjoy my life. I dont care about you guys and you guys should not care about me.
ASHAWO WAS 1'S A VIRGIN.
Merry Christmas!!!
ReplyDeleteThank you Stella for that! I agree with Stella. Keep your legs closed dear. Be strong! There is nothing wrong with you.
ReplyDelete"Ass and boobs" fade. What remains after that is character. Good character does not fade especially for one living a godly life. That is what men like me are looking for in marriage.
ReplyDeleteAgain, what's your occupation; skills, training, etc. few men wants to marry liabilities in these times. Few men want to marry someone who does not have intellectual input even when she is not earning.
Like Jesus asked his disciples when they lacked food to feed about 5000 men; "what do you have?"
Imagine yourself answering; "ass and boobs?"
Lol @ what do you have? Ass and boobs. I concur with this advice. Poster take this advice hook, line and sinker
DeleteI agree with Stella. "Sleeping with you will be the last thing on his mind ". My present suitor has made it clear that sex is not the relationship. He is waiting till the wedding night.
ReplyDeletePoster, due to your shape you have the wrong sets of men attracted to you. Stay firm on your decision on pre marital sex. I wished I tied my legs in previous relationship. Pre marital sex brings series of anger, regret, low self esteem, unhappiness. The heart attacks that comes at night is indescribable.
Disregard and pay no attention to what people think or say unreal things about you. Everyone is entitled to their opinions. Don't you know how the human mind is? Care less and put people in their place if you have to.
Lastly, I must say don't expect your potential husband to be everything you want. Look beyond class or style. One love!
Gbam. Your advice is on point.
Delete1,000 likes
DeleteSex is not food but most guys prefer it to food...too bad.
DeleteYeah!👍👍👍
DeleteBiko, don't look beyond class
Delete@Gi coco
DeleteIf a lady initiates the "NO SEX RULE" before marriage, I can relate cos its either she is a virgin or shes tired of HIT AND RUN but when a man is the one carrying the placard, (especially if he has been sexually active), its a RUSE.
Quote me anywhere, anytime...... Its 95% fake.
Thank you.
Sex doesn't guarantee a good relationship
ReplyDeleteSex sex sex sex sex and sex!!!
ReplyDeleteIs that what this world is all about?
I just wasted few minutes of my life reading this shit!
Poster, you know what is good for you, why are you bothering us? Oh you want guys to start requesting for you email from Stella hence the ' I am tall, I have bwess, yansh' abeg shift!
Just say you are lonely, and you need a boyfriend that can stand a platonic relationship and stop all these fucking self promotion.
I'm just tired of reading about sex.
I need article to lift my spirit.
Lol,was even angry,she did not state her age
DeleteNice one
DeleteWhat do u need her age for?if u hv any advise age shouldn't be an issue for u.
DeletePG18
DeleteLepa ur looking for article to lift ur spirit? Why you no go church or better read bible?
Hypocrit.from ur write up i think say, u no sabi the meaning of sex.
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN.
There's nothing wrong with you. If you haven't met a guy whose presence alone makes you want to give it up, then it's not time. Relax
ReplyDeleteKikikikikikiki, dunno why but I like your comment.
DeleteLol..nice comment.When you meet someone who you think is worth it.You would want to give it all up.
DeleteLike Stella said, sex is not food. Don't mind them. Ur man will come. Keep closing ur legs.
ReplyDeleteSister keep yourself o,d right man will come. Don't be tempted
ReplyDeleteStella,,for the first time,u have given a reasonable advice.
ReplyDeleteThat's how I broke my 5 years of no sex on the 28 of October 2016 after 6 months of dating.
Yet the idiot sees me as just his sex tool, .
After having sex,,he doesn't keep in touch until after a week,he sends me a msg in whatsapp with " I taste for your presence"
Mitchewww.
The fact that the bastard sweet tongued me to open my legs still baffles me,,
I am done with him for ever!!
God please send love my way.
A catholic with a good and generous heart....rich too
Lol pele
DeleteSame thing happened to me. His call is only when it's time to go to his room. I had to borrow myself brain and leave the sham. I miss him sha, for some odd reason. The sex was the best I ever had so far but life goes on mehn. Truth be told, sex wouldn't keep a man. I wish I could turn back the hands of time and remain a virgin.
DeleteHad one of those too. Niga was looking for a tool to use to satisfy his urge and had a real girlfriend. I dropped him like he was hot.
DeleteBeing a virgin makes it easier to break off ungodly relationships. Plus in marriage, there'd be no comparisons when it comes to the act.
DeleteGo with stella koikoi" s advise.
ReplyDeleteIt's a pity that these days, sex is a motivation for relationships. But the truth is sex depreciates love, value and respect. Most men and even some babes can't so without it. The guys are quick to say the girls are too materialistic and money conscious. Even though, the girl isn't money conscious, they still bring the sex up. What is the gain in pre marital sex for guys? Because it breeds emptiness to ladies.
ReplyDeleteHear sTella's advise well!
ReplyDeleteBeing blessed is nt abt 'ass, boobs and height' tho.
Nxt time jst say u are physically endowed.
If u are blessed, ur attitude and humility perhaps wl kp men around u even if u dont slp wt them!
Men only want to sleep wt u cos after a thorough n perhaps deep association wt u, they jst want that n want out.
Hence, check ur pride n attitude towards men plus stella's advise.
Thank you, boobs,ass they attract men but they don't keep them,and your bossy attitude
DeleteBe deceiving yourself
Poster carry go! in Stellas voice!
ReplyDeleteDon't mind these stupid guys of nowadays. Disturbing girls for sex upandan
ReplyDeletePG18
DeleteJust as stupid girls of now adays are fishers of men and money.na so wan idiot now wan open leg well, but she want make i buy her this and that...... In her voice why do you like fuck like this? is it food? And in my voice why do you like money like this? Is it food? I just block her yeye ugly number scater,scater numbers dey even pain my eye.
ASHAWO WAS 1's A VIRGIN
Stella,I concur,poster follow this advice and you will thank Stells later. Once men taste d cookie, they re gone,continue holding on,the Lord will strengthen u. Merry Xmas to you Stells and ur family,Merry Xmas to all bvn members.
ReplyDeleteHello! I'm at transcorp hilton Abuja Christmas information desk. Stop by to say "hi".
ReplyDeleteKeep yourself if, you don't want to have sex. 90% of men want sex in relationship, keeping searching till you find the one to stay without sex.
ReplyDeletePlease close your legs like a mermaid.
ReplyDeleteIt is well with your soul poster.
ReplyDeleterelationship without sex is friendship
ReplyDeleteYou have a wrong mindset. Sure you have been breaking hearts upandan.
DeleteThat your domineering attitude you need to work on it
ReplyDeleteIf a man leaves after sex while dating, he still wud hv left if you were married. Something is missin
ReplyDeleteBoobs,bum and bossy and you are saying men just want to sleep with you and dump you. You are your own problem....You can't treat men badly and expect them to treat you better. Be humble, principled and respect others. I think you feel you can control men because you are well endowmed. It takes more than Boobs and bum to have, keep and hold a man. Grow up and be a woman if you want to be treated like one.
ReplyDeleteKeep your self. When you are ready Marry, the right husband will come. Don't worry. If those guys sleep with you, they will leave. This has been my case.
ReplyDelete#There are some people who always seem angry and continuously look for conflict. Walk away. The battle they're fighting is within themselves*
ReplyDeleteYou don't want to get married now, you don't want to have sex, then why do you want to be in a r/ship, especially when you are in a wahala r/ship it will mess you up. Stay on your own,when the right person comes you will know.
ReplyDeleteKinda hurts when one is not ready for sex and is being pressured.
ReplyDeleteThere are still guys out there who wants to build friendship before crawling inbetween your thighs but the thing is that you may not like him/ them cos most of them don't come looking like Denzel Washington.
I've realised that mostimes we reject the really nice guys cos they don't look the part.
There is also a part of Prayer, ask God to send the one who will help you keep his word.
Have sex if you want to, don't give in to pressure. it's your property, not anybody else's.
ReplyDelete#CorrectBabe
Hmmmmm, it's a pity sha.at times i do ask what God used to create Men that they can't have self control when it comes to sex. Because you will see a man for the first time or second and he will want sex by fire by force without even minding to use CD,thinking they might contact disease or even infect somebody with it. One guy i knew years back once told me that I'm possess and that he will take me to church for deliverance, that it's not ordinary to be with a man without having urge, all because i refused giving him sex each time we met. In fact, "Men" they really need deliverance. It's too much of them. It disgust me when i see a man behaves like that becos I will never take you serious
ReplyDeleteThe worst of it is, once you give it to them now, you will not see them again,no text, no call, no chat and they wont even pick your calls nor respond to your text messages again.
ReplyDeleteDon't compromise when it comes to love. Because when you compromise, you will definitely loose at the end of it all. No matter how bad and hurt u may feelduring the process. go for what you want, who want to stick around will stick around,those who won't are just dung headed bois jor. Read "on becoming" it taught me a lot.
ReplyDeleteAll ladies should get this clear, the first thing that attracts a man to a woman for the first time is SEX, it's when he come close to you and discovered that you have more than SEX to offer that's when he takes things seriously with you.
ReplyDeleteHe then start to look at other good qualities and probably forget about sex.
You are not the only one with those attributes (big ass, boobs), there are millions of people ladies that are better than you, but what makes you stand out is the qualities you have aside from those things.
Even though I can't date a lady without sex, there are thousands of men who can
You also said you love bossing people around....
No man in his right senses will marry you...... No man will want to marry a wife that will rub shoulder with him or boss him around, his family will insult and call him names, Infact even you will be uncomfortable when the insults start coming.
When I saw my wife the first time, I almost fainted coz of her beauty, i was wowed, and like the playboy I was I decided to sleep with her by all means, never even knew she was a Virgin at 22 and I 25,,well endowed and sweet.
When I went close to her, she was calm, homely and respectful, I dated her for 3 good years without her changing pant in front of me and I was comfortable before we got married.
Most guys believes women who are beautiful and rude and lack manners, so with that behavior even if u open your legs they will not marry you and you think they want sex...
My issue here is that we have given so much power to sex that it affects our self esteem and self worth.
ReplyDeleteI think we should have something more than virginity as our pride such that even when virginity is lost (probably by accident) we still retain our prestige, the sense of who we really are!
You are now forced to choose between loneliness and sex, is it fair? Who here knows the length and breath of what loneliness can do?
If you feel sad after sex..shake it off like a bad day and move on...what is all this meter rule about how you life should be controlled by what you should enjoy
DeleteMost comment here are good. Please read through and pick the ones that will do you some good. But most importantly, the bossy attitude has to be work on . enjoy your single status now while it last......don't see it as loneliness. The best guy for you will stay when the time is right......
ReplyDeleteTanks everyone...so far this has been the best gift for the season,the post,comments and advice.anuty stella,God bless you,got ur mail. Happy Xmas and bountiful new year.
ReplyDelete