STAND ALONE NARRATIVE
A HEARTFELT CHRONICLE WITH AN UNUSUAL PLEA
Good day ma'am, your blog has been a source of laughter in my life, remember the cry of help I sent you? We followed your advise that it won't "fly" and left it all to God.I've been contemplating sending this mail long before now but I kept stopping myself because I didn't want any decoders but now I just don't care anymore.
it's a lengthy read, just want to bare my heart so please bear with me..
I met my husband in 2006, I just gained admission into the university and he just fresh out of the university, we started dating and were so compatible in every aspect, our sex life was so alive and vibrant, in fact he was the first person to make me experience "orgasm", he's well built down there and knows how to use it with his other body parts (tongue and fingers please excuse my explicitly).
We couldn't spend much time apart from each other, even when we quarrel, he'll come running to my place in the middle of the night and we'll make up with hot sex, there was even one time that we spent all day indoors, exploring our body and ended up doing it 7 times(i kid you not) I'm writing all these for the ones who encourage "testing" before purchase.
Moving forward... After 8 years, he proposed to me and I was the happiest girl on earth, I was finally going to be with my soul mate!! The engagement night was 🔥 in the process I took in and we had to hasten everything and became man and wife before the arrival of the baby.
While I was pregnant, our intimacy level drastically reduced, at a point we even quarrelled about it because he said I wasn't acting like a pregnant person that I wanted to harm the baby and all round I let him be...
I put to birth and was happy that I will finally have my sex life back but boy was I wrong!! It's so bad that sometimes we have sex just twice a month, yet we sleep on the same bed together.
I have tried all I can, I have sat him down to talk to him, he said he's hustling to make things better for us, that we have all the rest of our lives to have sex, I also try to tell him that because we are not rich yet doesn't mean our intimacy has to suffer, we should enjoy each other in little, money should not determine our happiness sexually because if we continue like this, by then we would be used to it and just living like house mates but my husband is not hearing any of that.
Bear in mind that we are both graduates and he has his Msc in gas engineering from University of Aberdeen but no good job yet while I'm a corps member.
I stay from Monday to Friday, longing for my husband's touch, sometimes it's on Saturday (early morning) that he realises I exist then he'll want to "touch" me and once he "cums" that's the end until the next weekend or 2 weeks later. I also do not like early morning s3x but I have to manage it like that.
I have nagged, talked, quarrelled, starved him when he finally wants it, slept naked, bought new sexy night wears but this is still going on. My baby is 2 yrs now yet I haven't taken in because the days I feel I'm ovulating and make the move, I get turned down. We are cool and everything, but the moment I stretch out my hands to touch my husband, what I hear is "baby stop now" or "I'm tired pls tomorrow" and by tomorrow nothing will happen. most times when i'm horny I just watch porn and play with myself to 'cum'.
Sometimes he isn't even patient enough to make me wet, hoe just struggles to insert his kini inside of me and once he cums, that is the end until when next he makes the move again. Other times I actually cry while having s3x because of how good it feels and how bad I've missed it. I really don't know how we got to this place and I have asked him what went wrong but to him everything is fine. I almost committed adultery a ago but it was my then 1yr old whose cry brought me back to my senses and I ran away.
I don't want to continue living like this, some days I'm just so moody and he'll be asking me what is wrong and I won't say anything because the last time I talked about it he said I was nagging and it was irritating, I felt so so bad that day, how can I keep quiet and pretend to be fine when I know something is wrong?? That word is still hurting me till today. Also when I remind him of the last time we had s3x, he'll say I'm keeping tabs or I'm counting, how can something so obvious be hidden???
I've decided that this will end this year, I love my husband and I want our s3x life to improve, I want him to want me more. For those who will say s3x is not food, please put yourself in my shoes and feel my pain. I get to gist, eat, laugh and sleep on the same bed with my husband everyday(naked most of the time) but we have s3x no more than 4times in a month.
Please I need advice from blog visitors on how to go about this. A good job sef will be appreciated as that is the major problem according to him. finally, I heard of something called a tantric intimacy chair, please can someone bless us with it this Christmas?? if that will liven things up in the 'other room'. I'm truly and honestly at my wits end and I want things to change, I want to be happy again. You can request for my email if you want to reach me.
Thank you and God bless you.
Madam sorry but i will not give anybody your email....I find it really absurd that you would be asking for a s3x toy inside a narrative.....Nobody should try this with me again.
Please people give her advice free of charge!
Stella you are a wicked woman idiot animal
ReplyDeleteAnonymous fool!
DeleteHmmm,, anon na wetin na...
DeleteMadam the chair is the last thing you need now. From what i see your man could be under a lot of stressto provide for you guys and do better in life and for men this also affects their sex life. I think you have too much time on your hands try and get busy trymaking money of your own and it will help you yake your mind off sex. For me availability of money gives better orgasm
DeleteDrink a lot of honey,dear. Breathe in and out. You will be fine!
Delete4times a month is okay na, madam calm down And think of how to make money and not sex.you need a job or open a business
DeleteEasy anon 15 02. What did she say wrong? You seem aggrieved and you are the one acting like an animal here...
Deleteyou are hungry. go and eat.
DeleteVery wicked. She advises Terribly.
DeleteThis is funny and not so funny. On a lighter note sex four times a month for two busy ppl is not so bad except that u r not busy.
DeleteBut then I think there r far reaching issues that you have not considered. Why were u guys having so much sex before marriage? Was it that he was so attracted to your body and perhaps things have changed a little bit since your baby and he then no longer finds you attractive?
Wat else did you guys do while you were dating that you can build on now to sustain the marriage while you both sort things out?
Are there things bothering him? Finances??? Have you discussed other issues with him aside from sex as the main complaint ?
Is he cheating on you?? Does he have any new health challenges ?
I would imagine that somewhere in your heart you shld love your husband more than sex and so be more worried something else is going on
Also how about getting yourself busy so you don't come across as nagging every time?
have you thought about counselling? That would help both of you pour out your heart and find a solution to whatever it is.
Don't forget to snoop smoothly! The answer might be very close by.
But for your own sanity , while you are trying to solve all these find something to do.
Go and learn baking from your local cake bakery, tailoring from your local tailor, make-up from YouTube videos if you can... Just anything to get your mind off sex for the time being! All the best
Madam sex, get busy!! Hian!! If you're busy just like your husband, you won't have time for these sex talks!! All through the chronicles, sex! Sex!!!!!!
DeleteAnony ché cos'è, devastato? Ricevere la pace, cara.
DeleteMeanwhile Madam Poster, the way you presented your case made it easier for the main focus to be overlooked.
With the way good lovemaking is, no active woman wants to dull in that area whether busy or not.
From your story, it's very obvious that your husband is going through a phase. No man(not just anything with blokos) is happy when he can't properly provide for his family.
Why don't you try and see this thing from a different angle? Try to imagine what he is going through at the moment.
Graduating from Aberdeen he probably thought that by now, he'd be so made.
It's possible he sees his mates or even guys he was better than who are doing far better and it all weighs him down.
If you ask me, I'll say he even tries with 4 times a month. Some will not even look your way at all.
I've been in your shoes. Ours was 4 months straight then 1 touch and then another 3 months. Even when he wants to, junior will just lay down looking north.
I quit complaining and he was kind enough to let me into what's going on in his head.
I even got a dildo but it felt weird, I threw it away.
I saw it as a cross I had to bear (because I have a man who I feel is worth it).
Maybe it was a bit easy because he was being honest and to a large extent I knew he wasn't getting it elsewhere.
I got busy with work and my business. But konji is a Liberian mehn.
One day like that I was pressing my phone when a giant being pounced on me and ripped my clothes off. Ah ah, next thing he did the undoable that made me speak Italian way before he did the actual do. I told him he must have watched porn because a virgin man can't know this styles and twist,lol.
Things then started picking up and the more contracts the better coitus.
Now sef na me dey tire.
I advise that you calm down. Pray that he gets a job and you too, look for a job as well. Even if it's teaching, it'll help you to focus on something else.
Discuss on a low key with him and let him know you feel his pain.
I wish you luck .
If it was a man that wrote this,would you give same advice? Would u say sex 4 times a month is OK?? Will u tell the man to get busy?? Hypocrites!!
DeleteHi Ariana, thanks for the advice. It's obviously the job issue that is causing this, we are still searching and applying for jobs, but I've asked him time and time again to open up to me of there's something else, he keeps telling me nothing is wrong. I just hope things get better
DeletePOSTER.
Nice one Arianna 👏👏👏👏
DeletePerfecto! Excellente!
Madam poster i'm sure I re d anonymous cussing out pipo whose advice dint go well with u. Am sure u were expecting us to advice u to cheat ryt? Get busy with work or business maybe it will keep ur idle mind from thin king of sex only.
Delete@virus detected, unfortunately I'm not the one typing those vile comments,stella is my bae and I can never go anonymous to insult her, we have already made up mail. I don't really take bv comments to heart,i just pick the ones that suit me and move on.
DeleteAs for the ones being insensitive, you really won't know where it hurts till you put on the shoes.
POSTER
Sorry madam
ReplyDelete''A good job sef will be appreciated as that is the major problem ''according to him'' so u dnt need a good job? U say according to him.
DeleteMadam am sure when u start work, ur ''horngryment'' will calm down. I feel ur husband is jst stressed and is more concerned abt making a better life.
U seem not to have any other problem except sex.. nice. Goodluck.
Stella that was harsh. Why are u vexing for her?
In the past 6 months,my husband and I have had sex only once. I can't kill myself joor.
DeleteAnother reason could be that you have gained excess weight n now repel him or you have gotten too wide down there cos of childbirth . Ask him to be honest with you and tell you the reason. Another thing is he may have a babe outside.
DeleteSend him the link to this post
Is sex food? Plus your husband is yet to get a job. I think his joblessness along side other things could be the problem.
ReplyDeleteYou even said you do it 4 times a month so I don't really get you.
Anyways what do I know,I'm out
Yours sdkly dazzlinglizzy
Also adding to what you said, he might be going through depression due to the lack of no job. This can kill a man's libido, try not to pressure him so much. Be a little understanding try to encourage him about the job situation. Also adultery is not the answer, it is only going to make the situation much worse. PLEASE DON'T DO IT!!! Talking to him not about sex but about his situation ok
DeleteYou people are funny o!!some are even saying it's her punishment from God for having pre-marital affair before marriage.Lmao.I once eaves dropped on a conversation between my mom and a family's friend daughter.She came in really sad and crying bitterly that day.She couldn't tell her mom,because her mom would worsen everything.I was curious to know why.Like this poster,after months of wedding,dearest hubby doesn't even touch her.They have been married for almost 3years now, no child yet.This is someone that married as a virgin.Financial problems are out of it,Because they are rich.So what y'all saying though??..Madam calm down okay.Trust me when things fall into place for your husband,And he starts making love to you like before,Na you go dey run.Just be patient and also keep yourself busy.Don't forget to always pray.Trust me,cheating won't do nothing.Just be real.Also try to find out if he's cheating on you.Then talk to your mom,grandma or any elderly woman that has been married for long.Keep friends out of it abeg.
DeleteAfter u complain finish u come use style beg, abeg young woman park well jare. #nuffsaid
DeleteForeign Masters degree and no (decent) Job.. That thing kills morale oo.. I have been there, will never be there again and don't pray it for my enemy
DeleteThank you Janelle.
DeleteAnonymous 06:53, that's true, we are just praying for things to get better.
This your story kinda turned me on shaa oo lol
ReplyDeleteMadam please focus all your attention into getting a job or learning a trade! Forget about SEX for now and focus on making money biko ahn ahn....who SEX epp??? Lol
Your man is busy trying to make money and all you stay home and think about is sex? At least you guys do it at all sef, so stop complaining and hold yourself together! Take care of your baby till you take in again
And you didn't mention if he is cheating or not! Snoop and see things for yourself
Calm down .. Channel your thoughts elsewhere ..too much ado about sex ahn ahn
ReplyDeleteMadam.U started ur marriage on a wrong note. Too much sex sex and fuck fuck ie formication for 8 years before deciding to marry.
ReplyDeleteLol..... James oh.
DeleteWhen i comment now, they'd say i play too much..
Let's look at it this way, its like eating fruits in a garden for 8yrs, fruits you didn't plant urself, u jst kept munching them all, apples oh u chop, orange oh u chop, banana especially was her favorite... Lol, till no more fruits cus we're presently in harmattan season, so madam wait till the nxt season, while u wait, keep planting all ur favorites, and this time don't gulp them all up at once, reserve for rainy days..... I believe ur husband is totally focused on fertilizers to keep the loamy soil fertile, u shld aslo think towards that line.
Don't go eating another mans farm oh, such fruits contains maggots & fungus, i'm glad ur babies cry helped u snap out of that, wat happens wen he's older & dsnt cry unnecessarily again.... You need to help urself.
Hahahaahaha @atheist this made me laugh joor. Thanks.
DeletePoster.
Reading comments...
DeleteAll this narrative ontop prick and toto matter??
ReplyDeleteHeheheeeeheeee
DeleteI fear oh, sex sex sex, fuck fuck fuck that's all bitch wanted. Bobo dey think of making money to better his future. Nooo! but she wanna fuck all night, The dick she dey collect all these years nor reach. Stupid whore
DeleteNot only tantric chair....when some people do not know where their next meal will come from, I'll be donating for someone's sex position. Why not drink lucille's coconut oil? Abeg park well. Mtscheeeeew.
ReplyDeleteLMAO so good to have better mb to read through these comments... Lol...
DeleteYou have no job but want a $1200 tanyrix chair gift?
DeleteSet your priorities please! Ask for job offers first o.
Lol you guys has gat no chill walahi! no be only coconut oil
DeleteLmfao,hehehehehehe @ Lucille coconut's oil. That's a good one
DeleteAll d Sexparts in d hous over to una. Bvn blackberry n co bring on ur advice.
ReplyDeleteLol... 4 times In a month ain't bad Naa, u must have very high sex drive
ReplyDeleteSeriously!madam sex is not food. I am sure your baby is a girl, it was a boy and keep you on your feet all day and you do an 8 to 9 job, that 4times a week self you will be complaining. Watch it with that fuck fuck mind before you go and disgrace your self.
DeleteReally? With your husband, a full fleshed man n woman with testosterone running thru their veins, in their prime. Take sex ed classes pls
DeletePlease four times a. Month is veerry poor o.
Deletehmmm Madam I understand how you feel but i think you are coming one-sided..in your narrative you never talked about how far with his job search and all..you are thinking about only sex only for your pleasure..When Men look for jobs, sorry they tend to have low libido cos he feels he cant provide for his family so sex is least of his problems. At least you have sex twice a month what will you say about those that dont touch their for a year or more..Please be patient with him and sit down and strategize on how to get back in track as in job wise...what are you bringing to the table is what you will ask yourself..and believe me when he gets that job , he will be chasing you like the good old days..You had ur heydays when you were in school, you guys are now facing the realities..brace yourselves..Good luck!!
ReplyDeleteHello Nonye, thanks for your comment
DeleteFor the job issue, we are seriously searching for him, I always ask him and also send links to him of job adverts both here and abroad, didn't say anything about me because I'm working on being retained at the ministry after service and I also intend continuing with my studies(pgd and masters).
I'm just disturbed because he feels nothing is wrong and most times when we eventually get intimate, it's only a 1 sided thing, he gets all the fun.ots really unfair to me.
I fear that if we continue like this, it might turn into a habit when we eventually make it and that will drive us apart.
Poster, ur now dh fucked ur something too much for dat 8 years before una marry.ur thing no dey sweet him again
ReplyDeleteHahahahahaha.
DeleteMadam 4 times a month is not so bad like u paint it. Im not saying its d best but hey ure no longer that jobless school girl n neither is he d hobless graduate. He has u, ur kid, ur unborn child n external family 2 worry abt now. Its not an easy task n if u 4 once put urself in his shoes ull understand n cut him some slack. That being said, hope hes not emotionally drained? Pls watch him closely. Stop thinking abt sex 4 a moment n look deeply.
ReplyDeleteDoppel get in here 😆
ReplyDeleteHian Stella. Why you dey pkara Kwanu? As her husband can't do the job, won't sex toy help her too?
ReplyDeleteTantric chair is not a toy.
DeleteHhhmmmm, so this one na problem na? Madam some people don't even have food to eat 2morrow.
ReplyDeleteIt is well oh, talk to God about it and pls find something doing, u need to be busy
I like you Stella you are a very decent woman.. I don't know why so many people cry for sex what of care quality time gift et all
ReplyDeleteDear I was once in your shoes. From when we where dating to when I had my 1st issue we had sex like mad. Most times he wakes me up to have sex. It was that bad. Till I took in for baby num 2, the story changed. Sex came once a month. I ignored because I thought it was because of the miscarriage I had before it. After baby it continued. Baby num 3 came still the same. I nagged, begged, cried, fought, did silent treatment but he wasn't moved. He claimed it was financial stress. I felt pity till I found out he had several relationships outside plus claiming single. This is someone who can't complete children's fees. Kai! It was heartbreaking. I had to change 360 degrees. I stopped complaining, ended all the gists we used to have, stopped calling during the day to know how he was doing, stopped caring and I started living for me and the kids. When he comes back I greet him but without the usual hugs and so many other things I stopped. Of course he noticed and started coming back to me but by then it was late. My heart had hardened like rock. We are separated now because he added dv to all the nonsense
ReplyDeleteEven if you try all these things I mentioned and he comes back to you, don't change. Don't go back to the old you, ok? You'll be fine
Very wrong advise.
DeleteYou are a woman and not a man. You are acting macho, hence your marital difficulty. Make a positive decision to be feminine. Play the woman. Thats who you are. Women are women, they are only weaker than men. They are not weak!
DeleteSo that she can end up like you right? You try
DeleteBad advice!!! Poster please don't take this ooo
DeleteDon't start keeping malice with your hubby before you break your home
Lady, what kind of advice is this? You want here to end up with a broken home too just because of sex? Do u even know anything about their marriage, you Allowed bitterness Make your marriage get ruined, yes he was very Very very wrong, but have you ever thought that maybe if u Gave him another chance, he would have transformed to the best husband anyone will wish for? selah..... Hey Poster, Don't take this advice Abeg for your own good
DeleteDid you guys read the part where I said he was running after women plus claiming single despite our financial ish. Oh! I forgot to add, he molested my lil sis. All these and more made me change towards him. So how is my attitude change my fault. Would you tolerate it if it was you?
DeletePoster pls take the advices that would work for you.
I gave him plenty chances but he got worse. Molested my sis and friend, molested his friends sis in-law. Before dv it was verbal abuse. Good for nothing, badluck etc
DeleteIs it not this same blog dat advices women to ignore the man and face her life and children. So what are you guys talking about? One person says bad advice, the rest joined in the follow follow-ism. Na wa
Will be reading comments as my situation is probably worst than yours. My husband is the best in other ramifications but can go for a month straight without sex, and I know for sure he isn't getting it anywhere.
ReplyDeleteHmmm i am short of words
DeleteIs he depressed? Find out what his worries are and share his burden. You are meant to compliment each other. Do so in every sense of the word and you will see him change for good
DeleteThe unpleasant truth is that your horsband is no longer in love with you.He no longer find u attractive. He is gbenshing another Toto.
ReplyDeleteNot necessarily.
DeleteThank you James. Straight to the point
DeleteThis Mr D, you are a very hopeless masochist, so because I complained of not getting sexual satisfaction from my "husband" that makes me a bitch and a whore??? I have nothing to say to you, I won't stoop to your level.
Delete@Peace maker, i really don't know about that because I can't read his heart, but I've thoroughly checked his phone a couple of times but I haven't found anything to suggest he's cheating.
POSTER.
Madam is sex your life? Please better get yourselfree occupied with activities that will take your mind off sex.
ReplyDeleteSex is life madam
DeleteAbegi every married couple supposed to hv sex at least three time a week.U people should stop telling this woman that their sex life is OK. This says a lot about d sex life of most married couple here and how u live with ur spouses and how happy ur union is. All is definitely not well. There is fire on the mountain
DeleteNa WA ooo
ReplyDeleteSex! Sex is ur problem? Jesus!
ReplyDeleteIf ordinary sex will make u leave ur marriage, do me a favor and pack out!
Nonsense!!
Atleast u getting it every month, what about other women who don't get?
Go and get a freaking job or get a 10inch dildo and fuck yourself to stupor!
Toto dey itch u, u never tot maybe ya toto no tight again or sweet.
Abeg o!
Or he has a sidechic, is that ur fear?
Hahahahahaa! Umu nwanyi!
Sex is not food! Leave the man alone biko.
ReplyDeleteWhy person go love sex this much. Once pikin don enter sex dey reduce ask any married couple abeg swerve make I see front.
ReplyDeleteNa lie
DeletePoster I think ur husband is having sex somewhere and am sure it all started when you were pregnant
ReplyDeleteIt's normal to feel this way,i haven't had sex wit my husband close to 8months now.the economy is the usual excuse,i v bin tempted to cheat but in d long run u harming yourself n child.
ReplyDeleteSo madam focus on ur job, ur child n let sex take one corner.
Na wa o. This sex matter sef, i know no how e dey do una o. Me i can stay a year without it o when i get children to chase after and money to be made. Madam abeg try and get busy you hear and maybe it will help get your mond off sex cause it seems you are a bit obsessed with it.
ReplyDeleteThere are a lot of sexless marriages out there. Iv learnt to deal with it. You even have a child. Seems he is also concerned with the financial state of the family. Anyway good luck to you.
ReplyDeleteIs it that no one else noticed the phone number embedded in the narrative? Choi! Smart poster.
ReplyDeleteEya. Madam pele. Try to rape him one day n.a.. or get him drunk like Lot's daughters did.
ReplyDeleteSee the irony of life!
ReplyDeleteMANY men have broken up with their wives because their women are not meeting their demand!
Continue to mildly encouraging him on the need to take care of his responsibility in the 'other room'!
But don't go outside ooo!
See the irony of life!
ReplyDeleteMANY men have broken up with their wives because their women are not meeting their demand!
Continue to mildly encouraging him on the need to take care of his responsibility in the 'other room'!
But don't go outside ooo!
This madam like sex too much,imagine u wanted to commit adultery?Occupy your mind with better things,get busy,look hotter than the first day he set his eyes on u.
ReplyDeleteDon't initiate it and stop Nagging and see if he will change.
Moreover Nigeria is too hard for a man to be broke,it dampens ur sex drive especially if u r not where u wanted to be.Just relax,everything 'll b fine.
As for the sex toy,don't start what you cannot finish.
Sharony
Thanks Sharony.
DeletePoster.
Lol..... James oh.
ReplyDeleteWhen i comment now, they'd say i play too much..
Let's look at it this way, its like eating fruits in a garden for 8yrs, fruits you didn't plant urself, u jst kept munching them all, apples oh u chop, orange oh u chop, banana especially was her favorite... Lol, till no more fruits cus we're presently in harmattan season, so madam wait till the nxt season, while u wait, keep planting all ur favorites, and this time don't gulp them all up at once, reserve for rainy days..... I believe ur husband is totally focused on fertilizers to keep the loamy soil fertile, u shld aslo think towards that line.
Don't go eating another mans farm oh, such fruits contains maggots & fungus, i'm glad ur babies cry helped u snap out of that, wat happens wen he's older & dsnt cry unnecessarily again.... You need to help urself.
You are crying over sex when some people wan die inside S&M post.....
ReplyDeleteCount your blessings...
And what is the essence of finding a partner when they will be starving you with sex? APIs Paul recommended sex for those who can't hold body.
DeleteHahahahahaha. I wonder.
DeletePoster.
Stella easy abeg, we all have what is important to us. How are you to know that somebody on here wouldn't want to help her out. It's really bad when your sex life is suffering especially when you've already experienced how good it can be. Some one here might be into selling 'sex toys' like you called it and want to help her out. Pls try and be more subtle when letting people down. I think that's your short coming. I'm not typing this for you to post, you reading it is enough for me. I remember how on 2 diff occasions I felt really angry with my boy after he satisfied himself and left me wanting. I can't imagine someone doing that to me all the time. Sex is a very serious issue btw married couples.
ReplyDeleteMadam you don't even consider the fact that your husband not having a job might be the cause of your poor sexlife.
ReplyDeleteyou be corper, your hubby not working if you sex this sex wey dey your body as you dey describe here and baby come how will you manage in this recession?
You think the man doesn't know what he's avoiding?
Sex is not food jare. Tame your pussy. lmao!
I think d man is cheating, ur jajiana don tire am, leave all those no work bullshit, just try nd snoop on him nd find out, goodluck
ReplyDeleteHe is cheating obviously
DeleteMadam i feel your pains,meanwhile all ye bv's asking if sex is food should just shut thr fuck up.
ReplyDeleteThe last time a man sent in his chronicles about how his wife was starving him of sex,no one asked him if sex was food.
I find it weird that only your sex life has to suffer because of this 'financial stress',after all you said that both of you gist and laugh on the same bed,financial stress is not affecting that one abi?
Truth is,you husband does not find you attractive anymore or how else do you explain it that the supposed 'poor people' are birthing kids every year??they use sex to console themselves na.
At this juncture,my advice to you is to find out if your husband is having an affair outside,when you do you will have the answer to your question.
That man is cheating. Same thing happened to me and I thought it was financial stress that caused it. He will go and balance on badoo and be forming single while I was trying to hustle. I snooped and fouund out. Go read my comment above
DeleteThanks dear for your advice,
DeleteHow else do I go about it, I check how phone once a while but I don't find anything, he also doesn't stay out late.
"You don't know how you arrived here?"
ReplyDeleteMadam, are you kidding? So when you spent all your courtship time "exploring your body and having it 7 times in a day," you did not know that you were flouting the laws of God? Did you not know that you were giving Satan the key to your life to scatter by breaking the hedge?
The way forward?
Humble yourself in repentance and fasting and prayer and see the spark back to your marriage.
It is a lesson for all the folks out there who think that pre-marital sex is the vogue.
Thank you, anon 16.13!!!
DeletePoster I hope you listen to this!
Best comment ever!
DeleteIn my opinion, your man's need should be your focus. He doesnt feel man enough because of his unemployed state. Men that feel this way are reaponsible. Please seek to think in the same direction with your husband and seek to assist and pray for him. Be interested in what interests him for now - getting a job. I bet you, with his libido if any woman outside shows this interest to him sincerely, he WILL sleep with her wihout any remorse. You are acting and talking like a sex maniac and not a wife. Renew your thoughts and mind. God help you
ReplyDeleteI dey with my beautiful wife for four months we neva nack plus all her figures higher than 8 .. I no kill myself despite my galvanized pipe and "sabi do" I no die .. U come dey here dey yarn shit.. he needs to make money ..U wanna make love..bullshit..so if e ttravel u go give Abu d gate man..
ReplyDeleteInstead of you to emphasise on the job like your life depended on it and see if an angel helps you,you rounded it up with a sex chair??
ReplyDeleteNow everyone will focus on the darn chair when your husband obviously needs a better job.
Issokay!!!
Ifugonianu...
DeleteThat's what you get when priorities are not smartly arranged and presented.
Everyone is focused on the chair.@Arianna dear
DeleteLike seriously???? You are not thinking of making money? Is sex food? Mtheeeeeew.
ReplyDeletePeople nd sex sha!God will touch him o.But focus more on how to get a job
ReplyDelete*jus observing*
All those judging her as regards her complain should please take a walk to the nearest lagoon and jump in. Unless you can wear her shoes, you have no right to belittle her issue. Yes people don't have food to eat but how does that concern her problem? Yes she engaged in premarital sex but who made you judge and jury? We are supposed to be like a family here advising and encouraging each other as well as sharing experiences so we can learn and be better. She came here like some of you on this blog to seek advice. If you have nothing to say relating to her problem please just keep quiet. Now Madam, a lot of things could have happened to turn your husband off sex with you. Seems your sex drive is high thus you are feeling the absence unlike some dried up prunes in this blog. Let me ask, has anything in your appearance changed? And are you clean and tight down there? My advice is for you to try and think of positive ways to spend your time pending when you find out the reason behind this change. Also do some snooping to make sure he is not cheating and please do not cheat on him. Next see if you can help with the financial aspect. Maybe it will ease the strain off him a little and make him appreciate you more. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteDon't mind them
DeleteU need to start praying for ur family...chill for sex free ur hubby....am a vry shy woman I can't beg my hubby for sex....put all ur love on u dota and God pla
ReplyDeletePoster, there's recession in the land but you are here complaining of the 'resextion' in your bedroom?.....Different strokes for different folks.
ReplyDeleteI encountered same with my hubby. It all stopped after his business moved. Focused men don't think of sex. He has a lot on his mind like providing for u and ur kid.so all I can say is u should try to be supportive. Once biz or he gets a good job. Boom he will get his sex drive back. My dh will say a man without money shouldn't have an erection. Ur story is almost similar to what I experienced... and why do u want to get pregnant again when u guys are still struggling?
ReplyDeleteFree him for now pls .....start praying for u and family for beta life..free sex and start fasting and praying pls ..move closer to God swt
ReplyDeleteMadam, you have sex 4 times a month and you're complaining??? I only get to have sex with my hubby once in 3 or 4 times in a month. He may and may not be cheating but you have to take your .Ind off sex and focus on getting a job.
ReplyDeleteMarriage is not all about sex oo. Your husband has good reasons for doing what he is doing. Get a job ma'am so you can both take good care of your home. Easy on your hubby please.
ReplyDeleteIf it were a man that said this, will you give same advice?? You would ve crucified the woman for starving his husband of sex. All of you here are hypocrites.
DeleteSex Sex Sex is all I can see, NNE take it easy with him biko, who knows he might have so many things on his mind,
ReplyDeleteI think you codely gave out your phone no. I might be wrong sha. Let me go and check again.
ReplyDeleteLady, your husband is going through stress from not getting a job, imagine having a masters in a very good course from a very good school and u can't find a decent job, won't you be worried? He has u and your baby to cater for, and plenty order worries, sex is not everything, but it's important, stop asking him for sex totally, but get a very nice perfume and deodorant, smell nice always, wear very sexy cloths when you are both alone in the house, dress very well and clean when you go out, bath often, just smell fresh always, but don't initiate the sex, He will find you more appealing and attractive, he will be the one to initate the sex, and 2. Support his job hunting, Be a listening and concerned friend to him about it, talk to him about solutions to the job hunting thing more, make Him feel like you are there for him and is concerned about his worries instead of adding to his worries by worrying him for sex always, it's just a phase and it will pass
ReplyDeleteWomen need to understand men. A real man cant get his dick up if he is not emotionally there. If he feels he is not where he ought to be yet...sex is not on his mind....Also, check your vj...could be slack
ReplyDeleteThe man is having problems getting good jobs. Leave him to get a good job madam. Sex is good, me I like it oo
ReplyDeletePoster sex in marriage is good nd necessary but I think u had so much sex b4 marriage that he doesn't feel too eager for it couple wit his financial stress.pls do some petty business it will take off ur mind frm sex for sometime.if ur sex life doesn't improve u may seek for counselling bt be careful b4 d person u tell see how sex starved u are nd start sleeping wit u
ReplyDeleteWhat is wrong with people on this blog? If it was the other way round, you people will advice the woman to give it to her husband before he cheats. Now it's the other way roundd and you all are saying she should get busy. Mtchewww. Intimacy is not supposed to be withheld from both parties. So the man has the right to say no but the woman not. Four times a month? Like seriously? Madam you have to look for natural fruits and food that will boost his libido.pls search online later. I heard there are but I have never tried myself as I am not married lol. Look good all the time, don't be tying wrapper all around the house. Smell good and hopefully his desire will come back. Pls don't nag cuz it's not the best approach.
ReplyDeleteThank you joor,dont mind all these hypocrites.
DeletePoster we are in the same boat.if you need a mature friend to chat with do let me know by saying hi. Sex is good in marriage and should occur spontaneously. A good partner should meet EVERY need of his/her partner. Am not surprised about the lopsided advice even the ladies are giving. Try and endure since your hubby isn't taking notice of you,it has nothing to do with you or your attractiveness. I hope we can chat more later
ReplyDeleteHi.
DeletePOSTER.
For 8 years, u allowed a man that's not ur husband to fuck u up and down, left and righ, bottom and centre before marriage... In fact, he married u bcos u were pregnant...now u are complaining of no sex
ReplyDelete..he is tired..ike agwugo nwoke mmadu(e don tire)...I are like a well licked orange...nothing inside u again to offer...and u came here to beg for nonsense...if I give u e-slap eh...
Hmm I feel your pain but please try getting something to do no matter how small it will help you also hand it over to God in prayer.you will be fine
ReplyDeletePoster your need prayers and patience at this moment, well let me allow others to advice you.
ReplyDeleteThank you Ukwu.
DeletePoster.
Pweeeeeu! I have read!
ReplyDeleteNawa oo
ReplyDeletesex no dey belle full....sex no dey add value to ur life....babe things are hard even the dick no say na recession period we dey.try get a job n think on how to make money. Sex will not put food on your table.
ReplyDeleteHoney, I'm sorry to rain on your parade because this may be the last thing you want to read but, I think the issues surpasses stress induced by unemployment or financial issues. From your narrative, your hubby is a hot blooded virile man who enjoys hot and passionate sex. If such a man is stressed out because things don't seem to fall into place the way he expected, guess what he turns too for comfort? Yup! You guessed right, SEX. Why do you think low income earners seem to have a lot of kids? Sex is the recreation and source of fun they can afford, so they go full throttle.
ReplyDeleteAccording to you, the level of intimacy dropped drastically and it got worse after you had your angel. Do you really think that's a coincidence? Remember your hubby's sexual appetite is "on point" or used to be. Trust me, no man with such a healthy libido just goes cold turkey because of "stress from not finding/ having a job". My darling, I feel like he is having his sexual appetite satisfied somewhere else. It is highly usual for a man to constantly bring up excuses to avoid sex, it's usually the woman.
This has gone on for 2 years! Even when you try to initiate sex he gives you the "baby stop now" or "I'm tired, please tomorrow" line, yet you think it's because he is "hustling"? You do realise men react to sex differently from women? It is IMPOSSIBLE to sleep naked next to a man who finds you sexually attractive, without getting any reaction from him. He must be aroused and at least want to touch you or play with certain body parts. Even men who are exhausted after a long day's work still want to enjoy the sight of the naked bodies of women they desire, even if they eventually fall asleep midway the kissing and caressing.
If you're lucky to have an amazing lover, sex can pass as some sort of food too. A lot of people aren't enjoying sexual intimacy so they feel sex is overrated and can be conveniently avoided for more than 3months but I beg to differ. In my opinion, having sex 3-4 days per week is more like it. Having sex 4 times a month is ridiculous for people who once enjoyed a spicy sex life. Good sex is important in every healthy marriage, unfortunately, a lot of ladies don't realise how important sex is in a marriage.
Don't expect your hubby to tell you the truth because he may not want to hurt you. I feel something about you changed during and after your pregnancy which put your hubby off. The issue is deeper than not being financially stable, sweetheart, please look deep into this matter before it breaks your marriage. This has lingered for too long to be considered "normal"
#e-bearhugs.