STAND ALONE NARRATIVE..
MARRYING TO REMOVE BABY MAMA STIGMA
Hi Namesake. I'm still a new BV, but the few weeks I've spent on your
blog have been really worthwhile. I would appreciate your advice.
I am 26 years old and a single mother. I met a Yoruba guy during my
service year (I'm Ibo, by the way). We became friends and started
dating eventually. He deflowered me.
I was devastated. I come from a religious home. My elder sisters all
got married as virgins and I would be the black sheep of the family. I
considered abortion but my conscience wouldn't let me. So I kept it.
My NYSC days were ending and I eventually told my parents about the
pregnancy. During this period, my dad was critically ill. So news of
the baby broke his heart.
Anyways, I came home with a 6 months old pregnancy. I had a really
handsome baby boy. Sadly my dad died when my baby was 3 months old. I
blamed myself for his death. I contemplated suicide a lot during that
period.
The problem now is my mom. I'm still jobless so I depend on my mom for
everything. She loves my boy so much but my relationship with her is
rocky. She keeps reminding me of my past mistakes and recently, she
has been telling my sisters to convince me to marry Ade. Her reasons
being that I might not have any other suitor because of my status as a
single mom.
I really do not know what to do. Please help.
Hi Namesake. I'm still a new BV, but the few weeks I've spent on your
blog have been really worthwhile. I would appreciate your advice.
I am 26 years old and a single mother. I met a Yoruba guy during my
service year (I'm Ibo, by the way). We became friends and started
dating eventually. He deflowered me.
I stopped seeing him after it happened 'cos my conscience was damaged. He pleaded with me to come back to him. I did. We had sex again. I was foolish enough to allow him without protection.
Then I got pregnant.
I was devastated. I come from a religious home. My elder sisters all
got married as virgins and I would be the black sheep of the family. I
considered abortion but my conscience wouldn't let me. So I kept it.
My NYSC days were ending and I eventually told my parents about the
pregnancy. During this period, my dad was critically ill. So news of
the baby broke his heart.
My dad asked me if I would marry the guy but I said no. Ade (that's his name) is a controlling, hot-tempered guy.
Plus I didn't love him enough. He was not also committed, so we knew
marriage would not work.
Plus I didn't love him enough. He was not also committed, so we knew
marriage would not work.
Anyways, I came home with a 6 months old pregnancy. I had a really
handsome baby boy. Sadly my dad died when my baby was 3 months old. I
blamed myself for his death. I contemplated suicide a lot during that
period.
The problem now is my mom. I'm still jobless so I depend on my mom for
everything. She loves my boy so much but my relationship with her is
rocky. She keeps reminding me of my past mistakes and recently, she
has been telling my sisters to convince me to marry Ade. Her reasons
being that I might not have any other suitor because of my status as a
single mom.
Ade has a nice job but his personality hasn't changed. I know I will not be happy if I marry him.
I really do not know what to do. Please help.
*Your mum is your sole provider for now and she wants you to Marry your baby daddy to remove shame and she might stop supporting you if you refuse?
Have you discussed your fears with your mum?I dont know what else to say but if it doesnt feel right please dont do it.
This might not be the right thing to say but some women bring out the worst in a man and then say he has hot temper and is controlling,you too check yourself Character wise.
Not Judging you but you kept saying Yes and NO until you got pregnant,that points at someone without Character as well...#Nopunintended please
I will read comments.
ReplyDeleteShe is asking you to marry Ade cos of the shame;so what happens to your own happiness??
DeleteFor A man to have a good Job is necessary;but without A good attitude towards human and life;then its quite useless..so i wont advice you marry Ade even with his "Good Job" cos marriage is meant to be enjoyed,and not managed..
Bydway,Being A single mum has nothing to do with finding true love in future;but it all depends on the way you package/carry yourself when you are out there...
There are lots of single mum's out there whom so many men can give anything to have as A wife;and you cant be different if you can take care of yourself and just stop having the mindset of "i'm A single mum"..
You can find love anywhere and at anytime;and being a single mum or not has nothing to do with it..
#Goodluck
@MARTINS ABOY
I am sorry Stella but you're being judgemental. How can you suggest that maybe she brings out the worst in the man. Poster as far you are still dependent on your mum she will always have an opinion. Try and get a job or invest in a business. Your priorities should be being independent to take care of your child. Don't marry that man if her heart says no. Everybody makes mistakes. Look beyond that and act like a grown woman.
DeleteMy cousin got into this same shit.and thought marrying the man cause of shame will change it all.she is frustrated now.dont even try it.
DeleteI'm not sure if my former epistle posted so I will just recap. Don't let anyone force you into marriage. Try to get a job or learn a skill so you can be financially dependent. Above all, flee from sin and hold on to God, only Him can sustain you.
DeleteChai yaraba demon like queen will say it. Chai you enter one chance ooo.
ReplyDeleteStop referring yourself as after 1. After 1 are marrying oo. Dont let your mother push you to be unhappy in a marraige you dont want.
Chai sex is sweet ooo but the consequence is heavy when you are not ready.
My prayer is that God grant you a request which is to get a good job and leave the rest for God to handle. It is well
I hate when u posters say these statement. ''I contemplated suicide a lot during that
Deleteperiod''. Sigh if ur situation was that bad why didn't u jst die? Contemplating my ass u jst want to make ur case look pitiful and pathetic.
Back to ur story.
1. Did Ade say he wants to Marry u?
2. If Ade is doing well, so why isn't he taking care of his baby?
My advice. Get sumtin doing with ur life. The deed has already be done. U dnt have to marry Ade cos u have a child with him. Ur mum is looking for assistance. Ade shud come and take care of his baby financially. Develop urslf and wait for ur real husband.
Gbam @ Baby Oku,
DeleteIf he is doing well, why isn't he taking care of his baby ?
Do not marry him if your heart says no. Marriage is a life long commitment. Being broke is not.
U r young. Manage your moms shit while u put your shit together.
Things will get better if you get your act right. All the best.
Stop being judgemental biko. You don't know what the poster is going through. If you can't encourage her or advice her,just waka pass
DeleteEveryone is saying don't marry him don't marry him. Is the Ade asking you to marry him in the first place? If he is, tell him to start by taking care of the baby (financially/emotionally). Then y'all can date and see if it can go anywhere. If not, let him just be a father to his child and you invest in yourself. You will get married one day.
DeleteMarriage is a life time commitment not a movie that you can insert and remove at will.
ReplyDeleteYou need to talk to your mother, she should know better than forcing you to marry someone you don't love just because of the child between you two.
The deed has been done so why is she suddenly in a hurry to marry you off to this man.
By the way, does Ade take responsibility of his child? Has he said he wabts to even marry you or is this just all your mum's idea?
Please don't marry this man and add another mistake to the one you already did that produced a lovely baby.
If the burden is too much for your mum, assure her you'd get a job soon and be able to help her out.
Also, speak to Ade to help out with the baby's needs as much as he can if he isn't doing so now then it won't change if you settle to marry him.
Don't do it!
Why is Ade not taking full responsibility of his child and child's mum? Typical O people
DeleteThis is a tricky one.
ReplyDeleteI feel you are too comfortable in your position, you haven't made any efforts in meeting other people; even with your single mother status, you can meet someone who would love you for who you are. You should work on your character, your personality, work on Ade too(your mindset) and things might just fall in place.
BTW, I see my blog id in your chronicles 😒
You knew Ade was all these, and u still opened leg and allowed him pour sperm inside u.
ReplyDeleteU didn't have any toaster asides him?
Maybe he knows how to pound you hence the unavoidable attraction.
U don't sound determined not to marry him, else you would know d answer to give ur mother.
Gbam NNE chop kiss.
Delete*grabs cucumber*
These days girls!
ReplyDeleteTufia! Aru! Onye ajo mba turugi ime! Marry him and see your life degenerate more. An Igbo girl opening her pussy for someone from that filthy tribe to 'enter' her raw and even shoot inside! Igbo girls like you irritate me. You don't know your value. Give him his ofenmanu son and pimp yourself. Another man will come. Real Igbo girls don't associate with boys from that region. Yes- boys! They never grow.
Delete@Anon Can't you see you're such a stupid person... Tribalistic fowl. If you can't give food advice please don't comment. Its people like you that a part of the problem. Insulting a whole tribe you don't even know a quarter of.Silly schmuck.
DeleteAm Ibo but are you too tribalistic not cool
Deletemy own problem is..how do i go into a relationship with a guy that i am older than?btw just a year difference
ReplyDeleteAs long as d guy doesn't make a mountain out of it, a year is no biggie.
DeleteYo the poster ur not yet married and its like this, think carefully about itand if ur convinced it wont work, explain all to ur mum so she can support u while you double ur job hunting efforts or learn a skill so as to help in taking care of ur child. What of Ade, hope he takes care of his son financially.
Jamb question. Becuase u add too much importance into age that is why u r asking this Yeye question. U see the one Wey old pass u? If u did, u won't be thinking abt this younger one.
DeleteHave a good reason to date sumone. Not age wahala.
If he's the one asking you out, why are u over thinking the issue? We women are so concerned about what people say or will say that we close our minds and doors to opportunities. Age doesn't predict maturity. Date him if you want to. But don't blame his shortcomings on his age or your decision on people's mouths. God bless you
DeleteHot tempered? Controlling? Bad News darling
ReplyDeleteIgnore your mom for now! Don't start quarreling with her cos despite her attitude towards you, you still owe her for taking care of you and your baby
What you need now is a job! Start looking for any job so you can start earning your keep. When you save enough, you can rent a place and move out! Don't try to please others to displease yourself you hear
At the right time the right man will come for you! SDK Bvs that have any space in their companies should help her with a job please. Una doh
Speechless
DeleteBecky Divine you have given a matured advice. A job will solve her emotional, psychological and future fears. Her mum is also disappointed and pained by her mistake. She should try and get something to keep her Busy, away from home that will help solve her financial challenges. Suicide is something we feel people use in seeking attention until it happens. Trust me, our shock absorbers are not the same. BV's who can assist her get a job should help her out. Don't let us judge her.
DeleteIt's well
ReplyDeletePoster try and do something to assist your mom even if it is to teach. Its because the whole responsibility is on your mom thats why she's forcing you into the hands of that guy.
ReplyDeleteJust be careful with your decisions.
Poster, sorry to say but you must be a veryyy foolish sombori. So you didnt notice the yoruba demons character before opening those legs for him and all. He got you disvirgined and you still went back to get preggy for him. Now, you are depending on your mum ke like say na she send you message instead of the other way round. Did you mention you are igbo? Tufiakwa! You no get shame as such don't know what to advice in this case biko.
ReplyDeleteEasy Neky, she has already made the mistake, she's now looking for solution.
DeleteAbeg no add salt to a bleeding wound
Chop knuckle.
DeleteAbeg help me tell her.
*grabs cucumber*
Sandy, don't mind her, she's not Igbo, she is ibo according to her. No wonder she could act stupidly. Rolling and opening nyansh for a smelly ofe pig. Tufia any Igbo girl that rolls with that promiscuous tribe.
Deletehmmmmmm na wah oooo
ReplyDeleteWhy not try and get something doing so you can be financially independent? Youre still jobless but have you tried starting up a business or something? most parents will try to make decisions for you once you're dependent on them.you're 26 so start paying your own bills then you can decide who you want to a marry or not and how you want to live.
ReplyDeleteAs for his hot temper I don't know but you mentioned you didn't love him enough. So let that ship sail and start living a better life for you and your baby.
Stella, this is the most objective and truthful advice i have read you give a distressed lady in all of the Chronicles i have read. Not just because I 100% agree with what you said, but because you were very objective, unassuming and dispassionate. Keep it up.
ReplyDeletehmmmm stella is ryt.your mom just want you to remove shame from the family. discuss your fears to with your man. if he loves you enough you guys cn work things out k. God bless u sister.
ReplyDeletePoster How can she be telling you such a thing? That is very sad.as a single mom myself my other would tell me baby or not you will still marry so pls do not listen to that.you end up marrying this Ade guy and you will be miserable.hot tempered and co trolling men mostly always end up wife beaters so pls think well.as someone once told me,someone who will love you will love you.baby or not.I understand your mother feels sad and disappointed but the man God appointed for you will come.and pls never hide that you have a child because of any man.be proud of your child and favour will come to you through that child and I also bet you your child will not joke with you when the time comes
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteThanks stella for calling a spade by its name.
ReplyDeleteWhat a shame of a girl! You do not "love him enough" and you opened your legs and collected a penis. premarital sex is never a good thing and obedience to God is the best.
Has the baby daddy proposed to you or are you going to force him to marry you. You said that "marriage is not in the discussions/considerations".
Well, you did one good thing and that was "sparing the life of that baby" who could grow up to be great.
My sister was told same thing after she refused to abort a baby following rape. She married an outstanding young man and went ahead to build a very successful business outfit. Her "baby" guy who was adopted by my sister's husband has graduated with a very nice result and serving. Well, my sister isn't "religious", she knows Christ and is the type that fasts and prays a lot. She doesn't joke with the scriptures.
Do not jump into the fire from your present position by adding a loveless marriage into the mixture.
Mr/ Madam Judgina a.k.a Anon 15.15, who told you your sister was raped? Were you there? Its so easy for you to call the poster 'a shame of a girl' but you cover for your sister by claiming she was raped. Typical of the Nigerian soceity. Point your fingers at the next person while ignoring and petting the skeleton in your closet.
DeleteDon't mind them
DeleteOh shut up anon 16.56! When people say the undiluted truth, y'all begin scream 'judgina'. If you can't take the heat don't go into the kitchen at all. Our society is hanging by loose threads. Morals and values have been thrown to the wind. People have become afraid to say things as they are in order to avoid being tagged as judgemental. Scolding someone doesn't equate judgement. Stop confusing the two.
DeletePL the small, shut up your damn mouth. The anon's sister was also a single mum before she got married. What moral right does he/she have to call someone else a shame? Yes it is judging! Stop judging others and face your house. Your sister was raped indeed.
DeleteSo he or she had no 'moral right' because the lady was a single mum? Do you really have to exhibit this monumental stupidity on a blog? You shouldn't be making your assessments based on someone else's mistake. That's silly! By the way, seems like you were present when the incident occurred because I don't get why you're so worked up over the rape comment. Na you hold torchlight them? Talk about being judgemental, your last comment reeks of it.
DeletePot calling kettle black.
Isn't he providing for his child? Or did you chase him away. If he chooses not to help then he is wicked. Except he doesn't know your whereabouts. Contact him, his family. Let them take care of their responsibility. Except of course you severed ties with them.
ReplyDeletethats what you get when u are pretty without brains you don't love him yet you were opening you jajaina to the extent that he even pour his akamu inside ur tohtoh, you weren't even scared of HIV or other STDs mtchewww.
ReplyDeleteforget d nonsense talk of i don't love you enough blah blah blah, Ade can't marry you, he doesn't love you either.
All I can see here is you don't love him enough to marry him.Try getting a job, hustle for a job
ReplyDeleteKeep praying that God shows mercy on you and direct you to the right path. And incase you decide to marry Ade, make sure it's what you and Ade want so he doesn't feel like he is doing you a favour!
Any marriage that's not built on love will crumble; the question is when?
ReplyDeleteDoes he even want to marry you? Abi na u go propose? Y is he not taking care of his son? Complete ur story
DeleteThe unprotected collection was a big mistake u made in the heat of NYSC konji, you just wanted a dick, regardless of who it ws attached to, altho the mistake brought about a beautiful price after 9months of pain, you cnt start considering making a grave mistake by marrying ur baby daddy which u obviously don't see light at the end of his tunnel, there's a lifetime of regret & pains waiting for u thr with no price at the end, You didn't mention if the Ade is even willing to marry you, and who says no one will accept u as a babymama? Get an elder to speak to u mum about driving u into one chance marriage.
ReplyDeleteyou can't marry him, but you stupidly had his child, mbuk don't make me angry, you have a very good mother tho, maybe you have seen someone that is taking care of your baby for you, the way you sound, either you are the last born or very insolent type, you better go n marry that guy, n free that poor woman, when you opened your legs n lose your virginity you didnt know he arrogant, vamus for here,
ReplyDeleteDo NOT marry with this reason you wrote up there.
ReplyDeleteThe issue now is that you need to get yourself a source of income, start hustling. Stop wanting to be a leech.
Ade has moved on, he knows you are desperate and he would make your life very miserable.
He should be the one running after you for the sake of his kid.
Stella av answered.... follow d red pen
ReplyDeletecoming...
Young lady, you made a mistake by indulging in premarital sex and getting pregnant along the way.
ReplyDeleteBut you have a fruit from it and there's nothing you can do about it! Does this Ade guy play his fatherly roles in the life of your son? (you did not include that part) what is it that you're depending on your mother for if you're are not job hunting.
Since you are not ready to marry your baby daddy, please don't force it! And also, forgive yourself.
You're 26, your energy is needed at the workforce. Go and get a job or start up a business, fix your life and take care of your son.
Don't marry a man you are not ready to love and be submissive to. Don't marry a man you will cheat on.
It's a pity that your dad died the way he did. Hope you've overcome the negative emotions generated. It is time to move on. Intensify job hunt and praying and be willing to take up "small jobs" to garner experiences and be less dependent on your mom.
ReplyDeleteA lady I know so well was cajoled into sex by her friend and she became pregnant and refused to abort. She lost a year at school and took a leave to have her baby. She was abandoned by friends but not family. She went back to school after birthing a baby boy. She married her school sweet heart and both established a thriving business in the FCT. She had two other boys. Her first son was adopted by her husband; a wonderful Christian. The young man (now twenty-five) is gainfully employed and towing a pretty damsel (a lawyer) and the bells may jingle any moment from now . . . that's life.
@ Poster: I learnt a long time ago that am the sole custodian of my happiness.if you are looking for that man that will make you happy, you might wait for long oo.Even the sweetest guy on earth can change and you become unhappy.
ReplyDeleteThe question should be can you look past his wrong and live peacefully with him on the long run or would you pick your bag and leave him at the slightest provocation.
If you can honestly answer the above question then you would know if you should marry Ade or not.While you are thinking about yourself think about your baby too.
Hello Poster, the mistake has been made (getting pregnant out of wedlock). DON"T MAKE ANOTHER.
ReplyDeleteIf it doesn't feel right, it probably is not right. One thing I can assure you is that your Mum will not stop supporting you. She loves you too much. She is just trying to save face and save a bad situation. But in this generation, men don't really mind if a woman has a child out of wedlock.
I believe you should WORK ON YOURSELF and GET CLOSER TO GOD. forget about men for now, and ensure that you make a good life for yourself. MARRIAGE DOES NOT MAKE YOU. Onyeka Onwenu never got married, but she has a child (or children, not too sure) and is recognised worldwide. However, I believe your own husband will locate you at the right time.
Stop blaming yourself by the way, THE DEED HAS BEEN DONE. Forget the past and look forward.
Kudos for not aborting the baby by the way. That was very brave of you. GOD HAS NOT GIVEN UP ON YOU, Why do you want to give up on yourself? **HUGS**
Love doesn't make a marriage work. At some point, love will be lost. Do not marry a man you can't be best of friends with. Do not contemplate this marriage.
ReplyDeleteHmmmmmm! U can't marry him but u allowed him to deflower u and get u pregnant? I laugh in Swahili. Mete onye di mma enyi Maka olulu. That's an Igbo adage.
ReplyDeleteGbam! Stella has spoken
ReplyDeleteI think Stella is right. Writer needs to examine herself and the situation carefully, her mum might also be right afterall.
ReplyDeletePoster please get Ade to take responsibility of his child so ur mum's financial stress can reduce. Pl don't marry him or ur second chronicle will come. You ll get ur own man eventually.
ReplyDeleteHe isn't good enough but you gave your pride as a woman to him. I wu onye ara. Marry him ooo. Coming home to squat with your mama, imagine an excuse of a daughter.
ReplyDeleteDon't av anything to say,I have my own problem. God shine your light on me
ReplyDeleteWork on urself!get a job,move out of ur family house.
ReplyDeleteYou don't love him so there is nothing to even consider. Who says you won't meet a man who will love you despite the fact you have a child?
ReplyDeleteYou have to be financially free my dear. Get a job,no matter how small and take up responsibilities so you don't over burden you mom.
It's worse if you are in a marriage without love and you are not happy.
Stella did not mince words at all o. But dear, the first thing you should do is be independent, Having a child out of wedlock is not the end of the world and your baby is not your mum's responsibility. Just try to get something doing, and your mum will stop asking you to marry your baby daddy. Please, do not marry your baby daddy if you do not love him.
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him if you don't want to, else you will end up writing another chronicle.
ReplyDeleteLinda will finish you today for having a baby daddy from the west. Lol
What kind of advice is stella giving.... This advice is a big No for me
ReplyDeletePoster you should not marry someone you know you won't be happy with
Talk to your mother, I believe she will listen to you
First of all, it is not Ibo but Igbo. I hate when people say that. U are Igbo, u shud know better. Now back t d matter, ur mum is acting like any concerned mum wud act. By the time u get a job, start supporting her and all, she wil lay off u a bit. The reasons u gave for not marrying d guy are OK. After all, na u get urself, na u know better. For now, concentrate on getting a job and taking care of urself nd son. Ur mum wil eventually stop her wahala. Good luck.
ReplyDeleteCalm down for my brother, Ade is a nice guy, try and be a good girl. Okay.
ReplyDeleteI hope you haven't been calling him "Yoruba demon" before sha ?
If so, expect the demon now o.. Lol
Ooooooh no!!! 26 and already a baby mama? What uappens to using condoms ALWAYS? Mhen am sorry I just had to say it.
ReplyDeleteGoing back to continue reading.
*grabs cucumber*
Ur mother wants to remove shame from ur family na.
ReplyDeleteLol.
U were busy doing yes and no with Ade till u got pregnant and u r here disturbing us?
Abeg suit urself. Get a freaking job or find something doing. Once ur mother stops providing 4 u and sees that u r doing well, she won't pressurize u to marry Ade.
Wait!!! Is Ade not taking care of his son? I hope ur mother is not the one doing that o
How can you open toto for somebody you don't love enough? I am not understand mbok.
ReplyDelete*goes back to continue reading*
*grabs cucumber*
Judgiana! Oya deny you haven't done so before. Women hating others since 1900
DeleteHow can you allow a Yoruba boy that is controlling,hot tempered, not committed enough n to crown it all u don't love enough to have sex with you n he even too ur virginity.
DeleteI don't understand oooh
Dear poster u are stupid n also the chief architect of ur problem.
If care I'd not taken u will still make another mistake by marrying him.
You are a graduate,but u don't have sense.
Move on with your life......
How can you allow a Yoruba boy that is controlling,hot tempered, not committed enough n to crown it all u don't love enough to have sex with you n he even too ur virginity.
DeleteI don't understand oooh
Dear poster u are stupid n also the chief architect of ur problem.
If care I'd not taken u will still make another mistake by marrying him.
You are a graduate,but u don't have sense.
Move on with your life......
Anon i have never open Toto for somebody I don't love bfor. Go choke on ya foolishness. Na una type dey encourage people to dey mumu d more.
Delete*grabs cucumber*
if you like grab cassava, people like you do worse in private
DeleteSteffy d abortion guru shut the fuck up!!!! Which is worst, she dat kept a life and admitted she made a mistake or U dat keeps killing the children and continue fucking upandan. Stupid self righteous moron!!!!
DeleteI have a simple question.
ReplyDeleteIf Ade has a good job like u claim, why isn't he taking care of his son. Your story is disjointed and I think you are leaving out some critical aspects that might let someone give u a better advise.
To urself be true!
Aboki I concur jor. Do you need to marry him before he lives up to his responsibility by taking care of his son. Tell us the whole truth so that bvs can set you free advisically. Lol.i smell magomago in this your story.
DeleteU raised a valid point aboki , however , I'm not surprised she was gbenshing a guy she ddnt love. A lot of girls do that - in a way, the familiar is more comfortable than the unknown despite your knowledge that the rshp leads nowhere.
DeleteI once had a christain friend Igbo friend date a a Yoruba Muslim guy ... she knew from the get go , it was a futile journey ... but she ended up falling in love , after 2 years the dude said his parents said no . No surprise there , but she was still heartbroken and I couldn't understand why .
To the poster . You ddnt wana end up with Yoruba so why start what u can't finish in the first place . For you to have given up up ur virginity for him , you must have loved him at some point, for the sake of your child, wld it be so hard to try ?u know ur tribe people , how many Igbo men wld wana marry a single mother ? Use ur tongue count ur teeth o
Aboki pls its called moving on.she shud let d guy in their lives cos of finance? D next thg she takes in again. Even if she is careful abt sex with him, how and when will she meet smone new? So u dont know sm men dont take care of their kids just cos the baby mama wants to move on. She is igbo nd am sure d man knows that the baby is her father's first. Poster pls get up nd go look for a source of income. Stop stressing ur mum
DeleteStella u have said it all.Most times women that bring chronicle here always tell one sided story to favour them without bringing the whole details.I will be the last person that will side any chronicle poster here again!Not untill I hear the two sides of the story.
ReplyDeleteGbam Stella you have said it all. In such cases I just love you.
ReplyDeleteYour mama has every right to remind you of ya stupid mistake, yes your silly mistake was part of the reason she is a widow now. He probably would have lived a litlle longer if you hadn't open Toto for a Yoruba demon to gbensh you skin to skin. Give her time to heal first. Then you can sit and talk to her on why you can't marry Ade.
Look for something to do to relief her of the burden of having to feed you and your child you birth outside wedlock.
*grabs cucumber*
How many abortions have u had?
DeleteSee this abortionist judging . Lmao
DeleteHow many abortions have u had?
Delete@steffy That's so mean of you..saying she is the cause of her father's death.
DeleteYou're just menstruating over this poster's story when your life no better. How can u blame her for her father's death for crying out loud una wicked for this blog o and you're thesame tribe. Oga o. All the cucumber wey u dey stuff for ur rotten pussy no gree u get sense.
DeleteThis is one chronicle from you already and at 26 it wouldnt make sense to send another one soon again. I'm trying to say you don't have to marry Ade if you don't love him. Why not mingle and see if you'll get another guy that doesn't mind a single mum, I'm sure your mum will leave you be as soon as she finds out you're in love with someone new. BTW, have you tried Stella's snm? Don't worry, love will find you soon enough.
ReplyDeleteWhere's Queen and boss biko?
ReplyDeletePoster, you were courageous in terms of not aborting the baby, just look well before you leap.
ReplyDeletePoster you are an annoying creature. You didn't think of your family background when you opened your leg to have an unprotected sex with the hot tempered guy, you did not take any post pill. What makes you think the guy will even agree to marry you? Unmarried ladies should better stop having unprotected sex.
ReplyDeleteSorry about your predicament poster.I will advice you to get a life.Work on yourself,get something doing so as to assist your mother and take care of your child.Dont let anyone push you into something you might regret later and also seek the face of God.
ReplyDeleteStella, I really don't understand the relevance of your statement concerning his attitude. How does that affect her Chronicles? She says he is hot Tempered,since you are not there with them, y not take it like Dat and advice her Accordingly? Nobody brings out the worst in anybody, situations make people show themselves. You are just using style to support domestic violence. The writer sounds more like someone who did not know what she was doing than someone who has an attitude issue. Even if she brings out the worse in him, then you should advice her not to go into marriage with someone she brings out the worst in.
ReplyDeleteAnon 18:56,I agree with you. You reason well. Poster, Condolences on your father's demise. I pray God gives you direction on the right path. Stay strong!
DeleteJudgemental people evrywhr,poster follow ur hrt,if it doesn't feel right,don't do it
ReplyDeleteDon't marry him if you don't really love him. That was how my sister wanted to marry the guy that impregnated her bcos of shame. I advised her against it but refused. She died 3 days after delivery. The man is nowhere to be found. Story for another day.
ReplyDeletePls poster,make sure Ade takes care of his son,get a teaching job for d interim nd learn a skill too.it will make ur mum not to feel u re a big burden to her.then package yourself well nd pray that God send u a good man nd most importantly flee frm sexual immorality
ReplyDeletePoster have a heart to heart talk with your mom, tell her all the complain you have with ade and see how you both can work out something. Why can't you learn hand work at least with that you can assist your mum, you can also work on ade then just judging him base on the fact that he disflowered you after all you both did it and enjoyed it.
ReplyDeleteAll of you shouting Yoruba demons are all fools. Yet you Ibo slots won't stop opening legs for Yoruba guys are you daft ? Most won't even marry you, den some fools will now even go as dating Yoruba Muslim, when you know his family wld never allow such.
ReplyDeleteYet your poverty won't stop you from collecting hand outs from Yorubas on this blog. That's why you stay begging.
This poster is a liar, I put it to you that the said Ade never even proposed to you or deem it proper to marry you, stop lieing abeg. You just formed all that anger etc. the guy never proposed either dos he take care of his kid. 26 baby mama, u wld have jumped at d opportunity but e no propose.
Next thing stick to your drug dealer, otokoto people and leave Yoruba demon alone.
They keep breaking Ibo girls heart yet u stupidly allow them put sperm inside you.
You don't know how to go to pharmacy and buy postinor.
Carry your cross abeg, no one sent you to be stupid.
Thank you. Fucking hypocrites
DeleteStupid comment.
DeleteUpon all you didn't spell SLUT properly.
DeleteBetter stop buying tribalistic market else you go get hypertension
We all make mistakes in life...the deed has been done and she is now looking for a way forward ...please don't marry Ade if you don't love him..get a job to support the old woman or you get Ade to take care of his responsibility.what you need is just to stand firm financially and your mom will let you be.I see God sending helpers to you
ReplyDeleteThis poster sha. ....forgive me but are you not just dumb. You kept going off and on and you never left...he begged you to come back and you knew you didn't love him.....mtcheww I'm tired abeg.....igbo people (out people) say when doing something with the opposite sexdo it because of tomorrow and marriage.
ReplyDeleteMy darling, 2 wrongs can never remedy an already bad situation. You say you're from a religious home, you've already disappointed them by having an angel out of wedlock. How do you reckon having a divorce or cheating on your hubby will affect your standing with them? I can assure you, it is highly likely you will cheat on a man you don't love or get divorced somewhere along the line.
ReplyDeleteMarriage between 2 people tailor-made for each other can still be daunting, I can't imagine marrying someone whom you already dislike and know isn't the right person for you, just because he is your baby-daddy. Compatibility is extremely important in any marriage. You will end up being so frustrated that you may attempt suicide again(God forbid), since you've toyed with the idea. Come to think of it, did he even propose marriage to you? Because it appears the idea is coming from your home-front. For all you know, he may not even want you as his wife so don't jump the gun yet. However, if he does propose, refuse the proposal because you already know he isn't the right person for you.
Try to gain financial independence by looking for a job or starting up a business. I'm guessing your mum would be more accommodating if she doesn't have to bear the cost of taking care of your baby. The father of your child ought to support financially as well.
As for the fear of getting suitors because you're a single mother, it is a valid reaction, it may also be a fact but it doesn't have to be your truth. You have to start reprogramming your mind to start believing that you will still get a wonderful man by the grace of God. Never allow negative thoughts overwhelm you because the mind is so powerful than it attracts your fears and make them your reality. There are some single mums whom got married to amazing guys while the "untainted" single ladies are desperately searching. There are really no defined patterns in life. Some prostitutes get married and start popping out babies, while some pious ladies whom married as virgins are ttc 5 years post marriage. So don't look down on yourself or feel like a 2nd class citizen because your mum or your friends feel you've messed up your chances because you already have a child. Hold your head up high, my love, and don't settle for less. Trust God's mercies and know that your past determines your future only if you let it.
#e-bearhugs.